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The Swirl World

Celebrating and Elevating Black Women - mind, body, soul and spirit!


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#271| Give Yourself A Start

September 28, 2015 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway Leave a Comment

shareasimageShunJack_LadyBoss

Powerful Words

“There is no royal flower-strewn path to success. And if there is, I have not found it, for whatever success I have attained has been the result of much hard work and many sleepless nights. I got my start by giving myself a start. So don’t sit down and wait for the opportunities to come. You have to get up and make them for yourselves!”

~Madam C. J. Walker

No Excuses!

Many times people resort to making excuses concerning why they can’t “get ahead” or “catch a break.”

They blame others for holding them back or standing in their way, and give up at the slightest hint of opposition. Still others refuse even to start.

Madam C.J. Walker, an African American entrepreneur and first self-made woman millionaire, lived in a time when opportunities were slim indeed.

Being Black and a woman, she had any number of “strikes” against her, yet she absolutely refused to allow herself to become boxed in by her ethnicity, circumstances or gender.

Craving an opportunity? Need a start? Then take a page from Madame Walker’s book and give yourself a start.

Don’t wait for an opportunity to happen – you make it happen!

Here’s A Valuable Resource

If you’re a woman entrepreneur and you’re looking for a supportive community of accomplished, like-minded women, look no further than a special Facebook group formed by Michelle Y. Talbert of the Her Power Hustle website and podcast.

 Aptly named “Sister Power Hustlers,” of the Facebook group Michelle says, “This community was birthed out of my deep desire to help women entrepreneurs get the information we need to create and sustain our businesses. Through shared resources and networking we can go much further in business than we ever could alone.”

I’m in Sister Power Hustlers and I LOVE IT. Come join us on the path to success!

 

Join in the Fray: What opportunities will you create for yourself this week?

 

The Swirl World Team is committed to sharing 365 days of inspiration in 2015. Our goal is to help you stay motivated and inspired by bringing you positive, uplifting images and corresponding thoughts.

We’d love to FEATURE YOU in one of our Inspiration Daily posts! If you’d like to be featured, please send a nice, clear photo to InspirationDaily@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Copyright ©2015 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, The Swirl World Podcast™, The Swirl World Inspiration Daily™, Swirl Nation™, All rights reserved. Photo of today’s featured model, entrepreneur Shun Jackson of Lady Boss Launch is used with permission.

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Filed Under: Black Women Living Well, Business & Entrepreneurship, Fantastic Fans, Goal Setting, Inspiration Daily 2015, Shout Outs, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black women, challenge, Facebook, goal setting, goals, life, living well

#196| Take Care!

July 15, 2015 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway Leave a Comment

shareasimageBlackWomanWithApple

Have you have ever done any of the diet or fitness challenges so prevalent on Facebook, Instagram and other social media platforms?

Log on and you’ll find a number of smoothie challenges, raw food challenges, vegan challenges, vegetarian challenges, squat challenges, push-up challenges, and biking, hiking and walking challenges.

I purchased a Fitbit® Tracker in January, and I accepted the 10,000 steps per day walking challenge. I renewed my gym membership, and I signed up for a challenge to get in 100 workouts before a specified time.

These challenges are designed to help us do a better job of doing what it takes to take care of ourselves. One of the worst things we can do is spend our time chasing our goals, yet neglecting our most important asset: our health.

So don’t just troll Facebook simply to look at photos and read the latest updates. Take the time to look for some healthy eating or exercise challenges. Your health is your wealth – so take care of it!

 

The Swirl World Team is committed to sharing 365 days of inspiration in 2015. Our goal is to help you stay motivated and inspired by bringing you positive, uplifting images and corresponding thoughts.

We’d love to FEATURE YOU in one of our Inspiration Daily posts! If you’d like to be featured, please send a nice, clear photo to InspirationDaily@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Copyright ©2015 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, The Swirl World Podcast™, The Swirl World Inspiration Daily™, Swirl Nation™, All rights reserved. Photo property of The Swirl World™.

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Filed Under: Black Women Living Well, Business & Entrepreneurship, Health & Exercise, Inspiration Daily 2015 Tagged With: challenges, Facebook, Health, smoothies, squats, vegan, vegeterian, wealth

We Got Married The Same Weekend We Met!

October 23, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 4 Comments

TiaJosh1p

Do you love yourself, and are you comfortable in your own skin?

When it comes to relationships, do you know yourself well enough to know who you are and what you want in life?

Have you set boundaries and established your deal breakers and the terms you consider non-negotiable?

If this describes you, listen up.

If this doesn’t describe you, listen up anyway, because you’re going to hear some things that will help you in your quest to become the best you that you can be.

You know what happens when you meet someone who potentially seems like a great candidate for a life partner?

You vet, vet, and then vet some more.

And then, you make an educated decision – and you ACT.

That’s what Tia and Josh Delano did.

They met on Facebook, and –

TiaJosh2p

DISCLAIMER:

Tia Delano shares the interesting story of how she and her husband Josh met (on Facebook) and married (the same weekend they met). This is what can happen when (1) You know yourself, (2) You know what you want/don’t want, and (3) You vet. Very. Well!

To listen to the episode on Sound Cloud, click here.

 

Tia, Josh and their bundle of Joy (pun intended!)

Tia, Josh and their bundle of Joy (pun intended!)

Did you know The Swirl World has a Facebook page devoted exclusively to Military Swirl Couples? Click here to view photos of active duty and retired military couples from around the world, and read their stories.

Want to be a guest on the podcast, or know someone who should? Send an email to Podcast@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Be sure to “Like” The Swirl World on Facebook and subscribe to the podcast on iTunes.

You can also follow us on Sound Cloud and listen to the show on Stitcher Radio! 

Copyright © 2014  Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, The Swirl World Podcast™,  All rights reserved. Photos used with permission.

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Filed Under: BW/WM, Podcast, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black women, Facebook, interracial dating, interracial marriage, swirl, swirling, vet, vetting, White men

Podcast Episode 026 – A Sneak Peek Into Season 2

September 2, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway Leave a Comment

Dani and JJ 1

Here’s a sneak peek into Season 2 of the podcast!

Podcast guest JJ speaks out about the deplorable behavior displayed by some White men in Facebook groups – which is where he met his wife Dani.

If you’re interested in interracial dating and marriage, and you’re not opposed to finding love online or on Facebook, listen with an open mind as JJ and Dani share how they met.

It’s a sweet story, and JJ has some STRONG words for White men who join Facebook groups and act like jerks.

The full interview and so much more – coming up in Season 2!

You can listen to this episode on Sound Cloud.

 

Want to be a guest on the podcast, or know someone who should? Send an email to Podcast@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Be sure to “Like” The Swirl World on Facebook and subscribe to the podcast on iTunes.

You can also follow us on Sound Cloud and listen to the show on Stitcher Radio! 

Copyright © 2014  Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, The Swirl World Podcast™,  All rights reserved. Photo used with permission.

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Filed Under: BW/WM, Podcast, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: Alternative model, country music, Facebook, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationship, podcast, rock band, season 2, swirl, swirling

Podcast Episode 017b: You Know YOU’RE Cray-Cray When . . . . Part 2 (Special Guest: Eugenia Berg)

July 26, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 1 Comment

Eugenia Berg 3Hopefully by now you’ve listened to Part 1 of “You Know YOU’RE Cray-Cray When . . . . “ featuring our special guest and beloved friends,  blogger and vlogger Mrs. Eugenia Berg of the blog/vlog “Married Girl In A Weird World.” 

In between the laughter and hilarity, Eugenia shared some truths and great vetting pointers – all of which she is known for. Check out her vlogs on vetting by clicking here and here.

In this episode, Adrienne, Eugenia and me each share our take (and Eugenia shares some experiences) on what constitutes “Cray-Cray” in dating – crazy habits and “first date” shenanigans that kill a relationship before it even begins. Texting, stalking, random behavior – you name it!

Our girl Eugenia is expecting TWINS and has only one more month to go, so she’s on hiatus.  Please send lots of love and prayers her way!

We hope to have her back on the show at some point in the future.

Until then, you would do well to go check out Eugenia’s blog and give the podcast a listen!

Want to be a guest on the podcast, or know someone who should? Send an email to Podcast@TheSwirlWorld.com. Be sure to “Like” The Swirl World on Facebook and subscribe to the podcast on iTunes. You can also listen to the show on Sound Cloud. 

 

Copyright © 2014  Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, The Swirl World Podcast™,  All rights reserved. Photos used with permission.

 

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Filed Under: Guest Blog, Podcast, Series, Uncategorized Tagged With: Adrienne London Leach, audio, audio podcast, biracial, Black women, Blog, blogger, dating, Eugenia Berg, Facebook, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, Marriage, Married Girl in a Weird World, Michelle Matthews Calloway, mixed, podcast, social media, stalking, swirl, swirling, texting, The Swirl World, vetting, vlog, vlogger, White men

It’s Never Too Late For Love!

July 4, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 1 Comment

Mary Ellen and Dakota Danuser 2

See this gorgeous couple right here?

No, they’re not 20-something, 30-something or even 40-something, but thanks to the fact that love has no age limit, they are living life to the fullest and enjoying a vibrant relationship with each other.

We first heard from Mr. Dakota and Mrs. Mary Ellen Danuser back in March of this year. Mary Ellen contacted us on our Facebook page and had this to say:

“I would like to add a picture on this page of my husband and I. We will have been married 13 years this coming April 13th and together for 18 years. He is my rock and definitely treats me with respect and dignity. We met at a Financial Company called Primerica. We are very committed to each other and are pretty much inseparable. I wanted to submit our picture and story because I seldom see older Swirlers portrayed on your page. I am in the process of writing a book about Interracial Relationships of all races.”

You know what? Mary Ellen was right: Much ado is made of younger Swirl couples. She wasn’t “hating,” she was pointing out a simple truth.

Thankfully, even though the majority of the photos we posted were of much younger couples, the fact remains that men and women of ALL ages are Swirling!

Mary Ellen wants Black Women to know that regardless of their age or place in life (she was divorced with grown children) meeting a quality man is very possible. Dakota, a retired Marine, shares his perspective on life as a White man married to a Black woman.

Mary Ellen and her husband Dakota are living proof.

Mary Ellen and Dakota Danuser 1

Age really is just a number. It’s never too late for love!

Listen to the Danuser’s story and gain inspiration. (Find out who made the first move – you’ll be surprised!)

We can’t wait until Mary Ellen’s book is published!

Want to be a guest on the podcast, or know someone who should? Send an email to Podcast@TheSwirlWorld.com. Be sure to “Like” The Swirl World on Facebook and subscribe to the podcast on iTunes. You can also follow us on Sound Cloud and listen to the show on Stitcher Radio!

Copyright © 2014 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, The Swirl World Podcast™, All rights reserved. Photos used with permission.

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Filed Under: BW/WM, Podcast, Uncategorized Tagged With: after 50, Black, Black women, Black. White, Dakota, dating, Facebook, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, interracial romance, life after 50, love, Mary Ellen, mature, seasoned, swirling

How To Change Your Life – And End Up On a National Television Show!

May 20, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 3 Comments

keep-calm-and-marry-an-aussie-3

Good grief! We’ve been on pins and needles – sitting on this news for about a month now and biting our nails in anticipation of sharing it:

Guess what???

Our man Mike In Australia (Michael Miocevich) was on a national television show – talking about SWIRLING!!!

*Jumping up and down*

We were certainly excited that Mike – OUR Mike – received this national coverage and attention.

Seems the producer planned to do a show on Swirling In Australia (later entitled “Dating Race”). She conducted some online searches to find men in Australia who preferred Black women.

Well, we’ve been doing “Monday’s With Mike” for some months now, so guess who she found???

Yeppers!

Out of ALL the men in Australia, she found OUR Mike.

OUR. Mike!

Woot Woot!

One of the things we strive to do in The Swirl World is build relationships. We practice good blogging netiquette and we believe in crediting our sources, both here and on our Facebook page.

We don’t bash –preferring instead to uplift and support.

Particularly special to us is the fact that in some small way, we are making a difference and changing lives – one person at a time.

But enough of the self-congratulations. We’ll let Mike tell you about his experience.

This excerpt is Part 1 – we have more to come!

Mike says:

“So, about a month ago I get a message from Elise Potaka, producer for SBS TV Australia (one of two public national broadcasters, which is bigger than you might think here in Oz), to talk to her about interracial dating, my history of it, ideas and opinions, etc.

Not a problem, I thought; I am more than happy to help anyone who is interested.

Turns out they were looking to do a TV show about it, and got all kinds of information from me about the Swirling community and my life as a Swirler.

Then came the hard question: They wanted to fly me out to the show to be in the audience!

Now this is the part that shocked me. I’ve never been given any kind of opportunity like this before.

To be flown across the country and put up at a hotel and then be on a national TV show?

Unimaginable. So I was nervous. And very hesitant.

You see, for a lot of my life I’ve felt like an outsider – to friends, family, people I meet.

I often don’t feel comfortable around them. I was very much worried about how I might come across for the show.

But then I had to follow the logic of the situation.

I had been invited on because I have been making steps towards a better life. I had taken the chance when I first contacted The Swirl World via Facebook.

I’d done so again when they got me to do a bit of a write-up about myself. Then again when they had me do “Monday’s with Mike,” and again when encouraging me to start my own writing blog.

After that much love and encouragement, I couldn’t let them down.

I couldn’t let myself down.

So I took the chance. And I am so thankful I did! I now feel more comfortable about who I am in my life than I ever have. I stood up for who I am and what I believe – and I felt stronger for it.

I have a lot of big plans I want to make happen, and a lot of changes I want to make in my life before I get to where I want to be, Taking this step has brought a lot of that closer.

So if I have one piece of advice to offer it’s this – If you see an opportunity and you’re hesitant because you worry what others might think or say, don’t be.

Take the leap of faith and go for it, because the rewards in confidence and self-esteem will likely outweigh any physical things you get from it.

Each step you take in the right direction will open new doors and new opportunities. Trust in yourself and step through them. When you look back, you’ll be amazed at the difference it has made!

Cheers,

Mike

 

To watch the show (and gain an interesting perspective on interracial dating in Australia – plus some delicious accents) – click here.

Mike networked with some of the people on the show and we hope to have some future posts featuring the other guests.

Whew! We can’t wait to see what happens with Mike’s continuing metamorphosis.

Stay tuned for more!

MIKE M - THIS ONEGot a question for Michael Miocevich? Send it to us via inbox on The Swirl World’s Facebook page or by email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Follow Mike on Twitter @500and50 and read his blog at 500and50.com, or message him on his 500and50 Facebook page.

Copyright © 2014 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

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Filed Under: Announcements, Mondays With Mike, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: Aussie, Australia, Black, Black women, Black. White, change, change your life, dating, Dating Race, Elise Potaka, Facebook, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, interracial romance, metamorphosis, Michael Miocevich, Mike, Mondays With Mike, netiquette, Relationships, SBS TV Australia, special, swirling

How Do You Mend A Broken Heart? The Love Story Of Brad And Jamaica Miller – The Conclusion

April 30, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 3 Comments

For the past two weeks we have shared Part 1 and Part 2 of the story of Jamaica and Brad Miller, a military couple currently stationed in Louisiana.

Jamaica poured out her heart and shared her story with us – the good, the bad and the ugly. Some of her story we deemed too intimate and too personal to share via this medium, yet we’re honored and humbled Jamaica trusted us with her story and felt comfortable enough to let us peek into her experiences.

Jamaica left no stone unturned and hopes her story serves as an inspiration to other women.

Jamaica and Brad Miller_Wedding photo 2

Jamaica’s story is one of blood, sweat and a bucket load of tears. In many ways Jamaica is – no, was – a classic representation of a woman who stays in an abusive, dead-end relationship for far too long – and to her own detriment.

Thankfully, Jamaica was able to file for divorce and not only make a new start, but find a true and lasting love. Sadly, many women who flee physical, mental and emotionally abusive relationships are not as fortunate: Almost 1-million domestic violence incidents are reported each year (and if this is the number of reported incidents, can you imagine what the number would be if all incidents were reported???) [Source]

On average, 3 women and 1 man are murdered by their partner each day.

Each. Day.

 Ponder that fact as you read the concluding installment of Jamaica Miller’s story:

I filed for divorce again and moved out to my sister’s house. June came and I saw on Facebook that Brad would be returning to the states. I thought he would return to Kentucky and wondered how I would handle it, but he was sent to Louisiana.

I was happy for him and glad that he was back from his deployment safe and sound. I watched him on Facebook and noticed how women paid him compliments and obviously tried to get to know him. I had to admit that jealousy and other feelings were taking over me.

I prayed, Lord what is happening to me? I kept my distance but I knew in my heart this time I clearly wanted more.

The divorce was in process. I had signed my papers and was just waiting on my ex to sign his. Months passed by and still nothing. After much begging and pleading, he finally signed.

I didn’t immediately run to Brad. I talked to him from time to time but I kept my feelings hidden. Months passed and I heard nothing other than he was just enjoying his leave.

I continued to see pictures of him living, dating and enjoying life. Feeling unhappy, I finally expressed to him that I didn’t like it. He reminded me we were just friends. I thought, Oh ok, Jamaica – that’s all you wanted from day one, right? For him to be a friend?

Jamaica and Brad Miller_Brad

I kept praying, and asked the Lord if Brad was the man for me. I prayed that if there was anything ungodly in him that God would remove it from him, if he was the man He had for me.

By this time me and Brad’s conversations had only been on Facebook. I wanted to hear his voice but wasn’t ready to express I wanted more.

So you know the info tab that’s on Facebook? Well, it had his phone number so I saved it to my phone. It took me two weeks to actually use it! LOL!

I took a deep breath and texted, “Hello friend it’s Jamaica. I’m so glad you made it back safe. Be good, don’t break hearts.”

He texted me back and said, “I wouldn’t if you’ll just be my girl already! Stop telling me no – there’s nothing stopping you now.”

I laughed and said, Ok. We conversed and sent messages and acknowledged we had feelings – and now that we’d said it, long distance was in our way now.

At the end of August I got a message from Brad saying, “I’m coming to see you. I can’t take it anymore.” I said, “You’re kidding, right?”

He said, “Nope!”

I was nervous, not knowing if he’d be the same man behind the messages and conversations. On August 31 he texted me and said, “I’m outside.”

I froze a good 10 minutes before making it to the door. I went outside to his truck and we hugged, our smiles big as ever. The first thing he said was, “Do you have a bag I can use for my shoes? I kinda just through them in my truck – I was just ready to get to you!”

I laughed and said sure. We headed to my sister’s house. All I remember is him holding my hand the whole ride telling me I’m beautiful. I felt like a princess.

Jamaica and Brad Miller_Evening Wear

I knew this was my sunshine after the storm!!!!

He could only stay four days and by October we knew we wanted our relationship to go further. He asked me to move to Louisiana. He continued to say there wasn’t much there, but that he’d make it worth it for his family.

On Jan 29th he asked me to marry him! I started planning a small wedding. On February 2 he got baptized. We got married on February 14!

Jamaica and Brad Miller_Wedding photo - License

We asked, What was your defining moment – that moment when you each knew you were in love?

Jamaica’s response: The defining moment I knew I was in love was our first kiss. It lasted forever with him just holding me tight!!

Brad’s response: My defining moment was making two back-to-back trips to see Jamaica. I would never travel to see a woman – but she was worth it!

How did you families and friends respond to the news of your relationship? How did you handle it?

I’ve attached a picture of  a text message showing his Mom and Dad’s responses:Jamaica and Brad Miller - Parents Test Message

After we got married, Brad called his aunt. They all congratulated us.

When Brad came to town to see me that first time, we went to my sister’s house. My nieces and nephew ran to the door to meet him. My oldest sister just kept giving me that look and whispered, “He’s the one – keep him!” Lol! For my sister to say that, I knew I was on the right path.

Later my little sister came in town from Lexington.  We sat up and chatted for a while. She said, “I can tell you like him. I know he’s the one so take your time and I can’t wait to be in your wedding!” LOL

My Mom and Dad gave their seal of approval and welcomed Brad to the family. They asked him if his parents were ok with him dating outside his race  and he replied, “Yes – from the time I was born!” LOL

What do you like most about your mate?

Jamaica’s response: What I like most about my husband is his drive to go above and beyond for his family. Our daughter wanted to change the color of her dresser and put her new initial “M” on it – and he did just that.

Jamaica and Brad Miller_Selfie with Daughter

Brad’s response: What I like most about my wife is that she loves me no matter the trail of clothes I leave from the shower to the closet after pt! At first she fussed but now I just leave a note saying, Sorry, Hun I had to rush back to work to bring home the bacon. I LOVE YOU !!!

What advice would you give to others who are interested in dating/marrying interracially?

Our advice would be, Go for it! Love comes in all shades. Don’t be afraid and don’t worry about the dirty looks you get. The only thing that matters is the love you have for each other and how happy you are.

Most important don’t try to change each other, but enjoy the things that make you different. For the first time ever, I rode a horse for my husband. I was scared out my mind at first but I had fun! LOL

Jamaica and Brad Miller_Swim

For us, we know God doesn’t make mistakes. Make God the center In all you do!!!

So that’s us, the Millers. I hope our story touches others’ hearts, knowing that anything is possible!!!

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, call the National Domestic HOTLINE at 1-800-799-7233 | 1-800-787-3224 (TTY) or visit TheHotline.org.

 Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com.

 Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved. Photos used with permission.

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Filed Under: BW/WM, OPEL, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black, Black women, Black. White, Brad, conversations, Facebook, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, interracial romance, Jamaica, Kentucky, leave, long distance, long distance relationship, long distance romance, Louisiana, love, Marriage, military, Miller, proposal, swirl, swirling, testing, text messages, texted, wedding, white

How Do You Mend A Broken Heart? The Love Story Of Brad And Jamaica Miller – Part 2

April 23, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 4 Comments

Jamaica and Brad Miller_Civilian clothesLast week we gave you Part 1 of the story of Brad and Jamaica Miller, an interracial couple who shared their photos with The Swirl World Facebook page.

We enjoy sharing beautiful photos of couples, yet we’re always aware there is a story behind the photo – what were the circumstances bringing this couple get together? Where did they meet? How did they manage to fall in love?

One thing about life and love: Sometimes it doesn’t come wrapped in a pretty package, all neatly tied with a bow.

Sometimes life is convoluted and conflicting, yet somehow it all seems to work out in the end.

Try to remain judgment free.

Jamaica continues: 

Who was on the line? My now-husband Brad trying get his Mack on!

He’d seen me at the mall and gotten my number from one of my friends. He proceeded to say, “Hey, didn’t I just see you at the mall?”

Not knowing who the man was, I replied, “No, I’m sure of it. There’s no way.”

He says, “Are you sure?”

When I said yes, he said, “You must have a twin as beautiful as you – she walked right past me in the mall!”

He sent me a friend request on Facebook and was honest about the fact that he was interested in me but my guard was up wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy high from all the hurt and pain I’d been through. I knew he was interested in more, but I told him that I was going through a divorce and could not move forward with anyone until and unless it was final.

Of course in the back of my head I wished I was completely free but I detached myself from Brad and told him we could never be anything more. Right after that, Brad was deployed to Korea.

During the midst of it all I prayed to God and asked, what is this??? Here’s this man who seems really nice and could be all a girl could ever want for a man and husband.

I said this can’t be your work because I’m still married and I know you forbid this behavior. I was seeing all of what Brad was and I prayed that my husband could be that type of man too.

So, even though I was confused as ever, I became even more determined to try to work things out with my husband. 

Three months pass by, and then I looked up and a more than a year had passed. In that time my marriage hadn’t gotten any better and my husband was still just going from woman to woman. I was still one foot out the door seeing no nope.

Orders come up that my husband is getting stationed back in Kentucky. I was sad to leave my church home, friends and my sisters. I wanted to stay right there, which I could have done, but my heart I believed God was saying, “Go; just trust me.”

It was then early December 2012, and we were back on the road to Kentucky. We stopped off to visit family in South Carolina.

On December 25 I was in bed crying about how unhappy I was. All I wanted was for my husband to love me – this was the story of my life. It was Christmas and all he had done was leave me behind at the house – again.

Suddenly there was a loud knock at the door. Someone rushed in to tell us my husband had been in a car accident. My heart was racing with mixed feelings – Lord . . . ?

We get to the scene and it was a sight to see: I had been crying about my husband leaving me at home, but if he’d taken me with him, that would’ve been me in the passenger seat – lifeless.

His best friend died on impact. My husband, who was driving, had broken ribs and head trauma. His cousin, who was in the back seat on the right side, had his face cut open.

We were now stuck in South Carolina and traveling back and forth to Fort Jackson. I’m praying, Lord why??? What are you telling me??? All I could hear was “Just trust me.” I instantly thought, ‘Till death do us part,’ and soldiered on.

I nursed my husband back to health, listening to his many cries to the doctors of “Where’s my wife? I need her here!” He was in ICU and the times were limited when I could visit.

One trying month passed. I thought the accident was a sign to keep working at my marriage, but nope. As soon as the doctor cleared him to take it slow and get back to living, he left me at his Mom’s house and took a flight back to Colorado to be with another woman – three days before my 26th birthday.

The texts and lies continued until finally a video of him in the act confirmed it all. I said, “Lord you told me to trust in you, but this can’t be it right?

March came and I couldn’t wait to get home to family. My sisters could tell something was wrong. They know Kentucky isn’t home for me. Even so, I kept saying I was fine.

April came and my husband was seeing yet another woman. I called my sisters in Christ and let them know nothing had changed; they reminded me of the Lord’s vision of marriage. I got what was to be my last phone call from one of my husband’s women and told that woman, “You can have him.” I filed for divorce again, and this time I meant it. 

Stay tuned for the final installment in Part 3.

 

Join In The Fray: Have you ever stayed too long in a dead-end relationship? What finally made you call it quits?

 Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com. 

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved. Photos used with permission.

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Filed Under: BW/WM, OPEL, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: abuse, accident, affairs, Birthday, Black women, Black. White, car accident, Christ, Christmas, Colorado, December 25, deployed, deployment, divorce, Facebook, fatal, fatality, God, husband, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, interracial romance, Jamaica, Kentucky, mall, Marriage, pray, prayed, praying, sisters, South Carolina, swirl, swirling, wife

How To Say Hi To A Guy And Wind Up Married to Him For 20 Years

April 7, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 3 Comments

We’ve run a post or two on women who made “the first move” and wound up with the man of their dreams.

And yes, we know a big debate exists on whether women should be first to make a move.

Our position on the subject? Suffice it to say that we believe there’s a HUGE difference between being “Thirsty” and being “Friendly” – and a smart woman (and man) is able to tell the difference.

With that out-of-the-way, meet another couple who exemplifies our theme of Ordinary People . . . Extraordinary Love: 

Niecy and Jeff Aldrich!

Niecy and Jeff Aldrich's wedding photo

Niecy and Jeff Aldrich’s wedding photo

Niecy shared this beautiful photo below of her and Jeff on our Facebook page and it generated tons of comments and likes.  We just had to get their story – and get ready to be surprised, because what Niecy did was . . . well, read on and find out!

Niecy and Jeff Aldrich 1

Where do you live? 

We live in Suffolk, VA

How long you have been together?

Almost half my life! We’ve been together 22 years and married almost 20 of those years.

What are the names and ages of your children and/or grandchildren?

Oh Wow! I was divorced with 3 children when we met and yet . . . Are you getting why I love this man so much???

Any who, our children’s names are Connis (who is now 29), Zavier (now 28), Letia (26 now) and Jovani, now 13.

Niecy and Jeff Aldrich - Four Children

We also have 5 grandchildren; Elijah 8, Kamiyah 6, Kylie 5, Dexter 4 and Cayden is 18 months:

Niecy and Jeff Aldrich - Grandkids

Whew! Seems like a lot when you spell it out but I love them all as one. They make me crazy and happy all at once.

13-year old Javoni

13-year old Javoni

How/where did you meet?

We met in Florida, my home state at the Mayport Naval Station … I can see it in my head, me walking around with my girls trying to look cute (lol!)

Niecy and Jeff Aldrich - Jeff in uniformI remember passing this group of guys that was trying to get my attention. I kept walking of course, but on the way back he (Jeff) caught my eye.

I thought it would probably annoy his friends if I stopped to talk to him (the only White guy in the group), so I did (smile).

I was going to annoy them all and then move on but when I stepped up to him and said “Hello,” he gave me this quizzical look as if to say, “Me?”

It was his eyes . . . they grabbed me. I said something really lame like, “I’m going to marry you and have a daughter with those eyes…. 1 out of 3 ain’t bad – I’ll take it! Lol!

What was your defining moment – that moment when you each knew you were in love?

The moment he met my children and didn’t bat an eye, I knew he was sent to me for my soul mate.

How did you families and friends respond to the news of your relationship? How did you handle it?

My family is literally a melting pot and I grew up around interracial couples, so my family was fine with us.

Some of my friends – or ex-friends, I should say – were a different story. I was called a “sellout” among other things.  I had one so-called friend ask me, “How can you sleep with a white man?”

I had a big fight with one that said “White people smell like wet dogs.” Needless to say I showed her the door face first … I know violence was not the right response but it felt good at the time.

Despite all the negativity we encountered at the beginning we held hands, kept our heads up and ignored the looks and comments. To make a very long story short . . . . Love truly is blind, deaf and dumb, too.

Niecy and Jeff Aldrich 3

What do you like most about your mate?

The thing I’ve always loved the most about Jeff is the way he loves me! When he says he loves me I can feel it. I see it when he looks at me. He has never wavered in his love for me.

What advice would you give to others who are interested in dating/marrying interracially?

The only advice I could give is to love yourself first. That way, when love comes in whatever way, shape or form you will recognize it.

Any parting words?

All I have left is, “I Love You Jeff, more today than yesterday. I’m so grateful that God blessed me with you!”

Jeff Aldrich, who is currently deployed

Jeff Aldrich, who is currently deployed

One more thing, Ladies don’t be shy – take a chance. Walk over; say hi to a guy you like . . . This could be you 22 years from today!

Niecy and Jeff Aldrich - Family

All we have to say is, being friendly certainly worked for Niecy!

Join in the Fray: How do YOU define “Thirsty” and “Friendly?”

All rights reserved. All work is the copyright of the respective owner, otherwise copyright © 2014 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, Dallas, TX, USA. Photos used with permission.

Want to be profiled here on the blog and/or on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com.

 

 

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Filed Under: BW/WM, OPEL, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black women, Black. White, dating, Facebook, first move, friendly, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, interracial romance, Javoni, Jeff, Navy, Niecy, smile, swirling, thirsty, Virginia

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Welcome!

I’m Michelle Matthews-Calloway, and I’m A Swirl Girl! Greetings to you from The Swirl World. We encourage Black women to expand their relationship options by dating and marrying interracially. Our overarching mission is to see Black Women live their best life. Come Swirl with us in The Swirl World™, where we celebrate Black women and the diverse men who love us!™

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