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The Swirl World

Celebrating and Elevating Black Women - mind, body, soul and spirit!


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How Do You Mend A Broken Heart? The Love Story Of Brad And Jamaica Miller – The Conclusion

April 30, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 3 Comments

For the past two weeks we have shared Part 1 and Part 2 of the story of Jamaica and Brad Miller, a military couple currently stationed in Louisiana.

Jamaica poured out her heart and shared her story with us – the good, the bad and the ugly. Some of her story we deemed too intimate and too personal to share via this medium, yet we’re honored and humbled Jamaica trusted us with her story and felt comfortable enough to let us peek into her experiences.

Jamaica left no stone unturned and hopes her story serves as an inspiration to other women.

Jamaica and Brad Miller_Wedding photo 2

Jamaica’s story is one of blood, sweat and a bucket load of tears. In many ways Jamaica is – no, was – a classic representation of a woman who stays in an abusive, dead-end relationship for far too long – and to her own detriment.

Thankfully, Jamaica was able to file for divorce and not only make a new start, but find a true and lasting love. Sadly, many women who flee physical, mental and emotionally abusive relationships are not as fortunate: Almost 1-million domestic violence incidents are reported each year (and if this is the number of reported incidents, can you imagine what the number would be if all incidents were reported???) [Source]

On average, 3 women and 1 man are murdered by their partner each day.

Each. Day.

 Ponder that fact as you read the concluding installment of Jamaica Miller’s story:

I filed for divorce again and moved out to my sister’s house. June came and I saw on Facebook that Brad would be returning to the states. I thought he would return to Kentucky and wondered how I would handle it, but he was sent to Louisiana.

I was happy for him and glad that he was back from his deployment safe and sound. I watched him on Facebook and noticed how women paid him compliments and obviously tried to get to know him. I had to admit that jealousy and other feelings were taking over me.

I prayed, Lord what is happening to me? I kept my distance but I knew in my heart this time I clearly wanted more.

The divorce was in process. I had signed my papers and was just waiting on my ex to sign his. Months passed by and still nothing. After much begging and pleading, he finally signed.

I didn’t immediately run to Brad. I talked to him from time to time but I kept my feelings hidden. Months passed and I heard nothing other than he was just enjoying his leave.

I continued to see pictures of him living, dating and enjoying life. Feeling unhappy, I finally expressed to him that I didn’t like it. He reminded me we were just friends. I thought, Oh ok, Jamaica – that’s all you wanted from day one, right? For him to be a friend?

Jamaica and Brad Miller_Brad

I kept praying, and asked the Lord if Brad was the man for me. I prayed that if there was anything ungodly in him that God would remove it from him, if he was the man He had for me.

By this time me and Brad’s conversations had only been on Facebook. I wanted to hear his voice but wasn’t ready to express I wanted more.

So you know the info tab that’s on Facebook? Well, it had his phone number so I saved it to my phone. It took me two weeks to actually use it! LOL!

I took a deep breath and texted, “Hello friend it’s Jamaica. I’m so glad you made it back safe. Be good, don’t break hearts.”

He texted me back and said, “I wouldn’t if you’ll just be my girl already! Stop telling me no – there’s nothing stopping you now.”

I laughed and said, Ok. We conversed and sent messages and acknowledged we had feelings – and now that we’d said it, long distance was in our way now.

At the end of August I got a message from Brad saying, “I’m coming to see you. I can’t take it anymore.” I said, “You’re kidding, right?”

He said, “Nope!”

I was nervous, not knowing if he’d be the same man behind the messages and conversations. On August 31 he texted me and said, “I’m outside.”

I froze a good 10 minutes before making it to the door. I went outside to his truck and we hugged, our smiles big as ever. The first thing he said was, “Do you have a bag I can use for my shoes? I kinda just through them in my truck – I was just ready to get to you!”

I laughed and said sure. We headed to my sister’s house. All I remember is him holding my hand the whole ride telling me I’m beautiful. I felt like a princess.

Jamaica and Brad Miller_Evening Wear

I knew this was my sunshine after the storm!!!!

He could only stay four days and by October we knew we wanted our relationship to go further. He asked me to move to Louisiana. He continued to say there wasn’t much there, but that he’d make it worth it for his family.

On Jan 29th he asked me to marry him! I started planning a small wedding. On February 2 he got baptized. We got married on February 14!

Jamaica and Brad Miller_Wedding photo - License

We asked, What was your defining moment – that moment when you each knew you were in love?

Jamaica’s response: The defining moment I knew I was in love was our first kiss. It lasted forever with him just holding me tight!!

Brad’s response: My defining moment was making two back-to-back trips to see Jamaica. I would never travel to see a woman – but she was worth it!

How did you families and friends respond to the news of your relationship? How did you handle it?

I’ve attached a picture of  a text message showing his Mom and Dad’s responses:Jamaica and Brad Miller - Parents Test Message

After we got married, Brad called his aunt. They all congratulated us.

When Brad came to town to see me that first time, we went to my sister’s house. My nieces and nephew ran to the door to meet him. My oldest sister just kept giving me that look and whispered, “He’s the one – keep him!” Lol! For my sister to say that, I knew I was on the right path.

Later my little sister came in town from Lexington.  We sat up and chatted for a while. She said, “I can tell you like him. I know he’s the one so take your time and I can’t wait to be in your wedding!” LOL

My Mom and Dad gave their seal of approval and welcomed Brad to the family. They asked him if his parents were ok with him dating outside his race  and he replied, “Yes – from the time I was born!” LOL

What do you like most about your mate?

Jamaica’s response: What I like most about my husband is his drive to go above and beyond for his family. Our daughter wanted to change the color of her dresser and put her new initial “M” on it – and he did just that.

Jamaica and Brad Miller_Selfie with Daughter

Brad’s response: What I like most about my wife is that she loves me no matter the trail of clothes I leave from the shower to the closet after pt! At first she fussed but now I just leave a note saying, Sorry, Hun I had to rush back to work to bring home the bacon. I LOVE YOU !!!

What advice would you give to others who are interested in dating/marrying interracially?

Our advice would be, Go for it! Love comes in all shades. Don’t be afraid and don’t worry about the dirty looks you get. The only thing that matters is the love you have for each other and how happy you are.

Most important don’t try to change each other, but enjoy the things that make you different. For the first time ever, I rode a horse for my husband. I was scared out my mind at first but I had fun! LOL

Jamaica and Brad Miller_Swim

For us, we know God doesn’t make mistakes. Make God the center In all you do!!!

So that’s us, the Millers. I hope our story touches others’ hearts, knowing that anything is possible!!!

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, call the National Domestic HOTLINE at 1-800-799-7233 | 1-800-787-3224 (TTY) or visit TheHotline.org.

 Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com.

 Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved. Photos used with permission.

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Filed Under: BW/WM, OPEL, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black, Black women, Black. White, Brad, conversations, Facebook, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, interracial romance, Jamaica, Kentucky, leave, long distance, long distance relationship, long distance romance, Louisiana, love, Marriage, military, Miller, proposal, swirl, swirling, testing, text messages, texted, wedding, white

You Know You’ve Had A Good Time When . . . .

July 26, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 1 Comment

keep-calm-and-try-to-recuperate

You know you’ve had a good time when afterward, you need to r.e.c.u.p.e.r.a.t.e!

Last night’s soiree was off the chain! I had a blast at the Meet & Greet two weeks ago, so the actual event was the Meet & Greet on steroids.

Stars of Style Invite

Glitz and glamour everywhere – the women were gorgeous and the men even more so. (Tee hee hee!)

I can’t scoop my magazine and provide a lot of pictures, so I’ll be sure to follow-up with links next Friday when the issue hits the stands.

I’m HAPPY to report that I saw FOUR Swirl Couples last night.

Side Note: The event had over 450 people so that’s a relatively small ratio, but still. That’s far better than saying I saw ZERO Swirl Couples, right? Right.

I’m even HAPPIER to report that two of the couples were BW/WM Swirls – one older couple, and one younger. The other two were BM/WW couples.

Any who, I now need to recover from all that fun.

WHY am I still awake????

Young Girl Asleep on Pillow

Join in the Fray: What good times have you had this month?

I’m blogging every day in the month of July in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

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Filed Under: NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black women, Black. White, BlogHer, dating, event, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, interracial romance, Louisiana, NaBloPoMo, party, special occasion, swirling

Welcome To “Da Berry!”

July 9, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 12 Comments

New Iberia, that is.

I’ve been chuckling at the number of emails I’ve received in the past few days asking me “Where are you moving to?”

I get it; enquiring minds want to know.

Whelp, After an intense search through 5 -6 cities I decided to move to New Iberia, Louisiana, a.k.a. “Da Berry” and “Queen City of the Bayou Teche.”

BAYOU TECHE-TEXT

(Talk about having to kiss a lot of “frogs” before finding my “Prince” – more on the selection process [and frogs!] in another post).

photo(1)

New Iberia is a quaint, beautiful city full of diversity and culture. Several major festivals are held here, including the Sugar Cane Festival, Laotian New Year Celebration (New Iberia boasts a large population of Laotians) and the World Championship Gumbo Cookoff.

(Next to ice cream and popcorn, gumbo is my favorite food in the whole wide world.  Just so you know, all the vegan/vegetarian bets are off when these events roll around!)

I’m in easy driving distance of Lafayette, Baton Rouge, New Orleans, Shreveport and Houston, and Dallas is pretty much the same 5 1/2 to 6 hours away.

Any who, I’m one day closer to my countdown of moving in to my new place.

Shucks, I’m even thinking about moving the date up. Why wait?

Join in the Fray: What is your favorite cultural highlight in your city?

I’m blogging every day in the month of July in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

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Filed Under: Announcements, NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: Baton Rouge, berry, Black women, Black. White, BlogHer, da Berry, dating, Houston, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, LA, Lafayette Louisiana, Louisiana, move, NaBloPoMo, New Iberia, Shreveport, swirling, The Berry

Headed To The Food Truck Round Up!

July 5, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 2 Comments

Hibachi Hero

If you’re a Facebook friend or follow me on Twitter or Instagram you know this time last month I was out and about attending the Food Truck Round Up at Parc Lafayette.

Whelp, tomorrow I’m headed back for more food and fun! Last month the sun was blazing and though it was hot. as. Hades out there we managed to snag some delicious food and had a great time.

In addition to sampling the fare I’ll be on the lookout with my Swirl Cam in hand to see how many Swirlers are taking part in the good eats available on 15 or more Food Trucks.

One thing I’ve noticed since being back in Louisiana is the fact that Swirling in Acadiana seems to overwhelmingly consist of BM/WW couples. That’s all well and good – Hooray for them!

My focus, however is BW/non-BM couples so my eyes will be peeled to see if I spot any couples of that variation.

*Crosses fingers*

Stay tuned for the full report!

Join in the Fray: What’s the Swirl couple ratio in your area?

I’m blogging every day in the month of July in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

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Filed Under: Festivals and Events, NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black women, BlogHer, couples, dating, Facebook, food, food truck, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, Louisiana, NaBloPoMo, Parc Lafayette, round up, swirl, swirling

Party Over Here!

June 15, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 2 Comments

keep-calm-and-party-on-6429

This is family reunion weekend on my Dad’s side. In between doing work on the dissertation and doing mental push ups in Firepole’s Business Ignition Bootcamp, I’m partying like a rock star and enjoying my family.

 

My Mother’s side of the family is very quiet and very conservative. My Dad’s side is  the exact opposite – very loud and very liberal. We even have a couple of BM/WW Swirl couples on that side. Woot! Woot!

I truly have the best of both worlds, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Join in the Fray: What are you doing this weekend?

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

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Filed Under: Festivals and Events, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black women, Black. White, bootcamp, dating, family reunion, Firepole Marketing, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, Louisiana, love, party, weekend

Why I’m Rocking My Red Pumps

March 10, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 2 Comments

Rock the Red Pump2-1024x622

Today is the official “Rock the Red Pump® Campaign” Day, a day when bloggers around the country wear red pumps and blog about women and HIV/AIDS to raise awareness of this crisis.

Launched by the Office of Women’s Health, NWGHAAD is a nationwide observance that encourages people to take action in the fight against HIV/AIDS and raise awareness of its impact on women and girls. Today marks the 5th Annual observance.

We’ve been sporting the “Rock the Red Pump” badge on our blog since late January, and we fully support this effort.

I took a look at the current statistics in my home state of Louisiana, and started with our capital city of Baton Rouge.

I was utterly dismayed to discover these startling facts:     

1. Baton Rouge ranks 4th for AIDS case rates among the largest metropolitan areas in the U.S.

2. Baton Rouge Ranks 1st in the state of Louisiana with the Highest Rate of AIDS Cases.

3. Nationally, Louisiana ranks 5th highest in AIDS case rates and 12th in the number of AIDS cases diagnosed.

4. Over 75% of all HIV/AIDS cases in Region Two are African Americans.

5. In Louisiana, 31% of new HIV cases and 31% of new AIDS cases are among women.

6. The number one mode of transmission for females is Heterosexual Activities.

7. HIV continues to disproportionately affect African Americans in Louisiana. In 2007, 72% of newly diagnosed HIV cases and 75% of newly diagnosed AIDS cases were among African Americans.

SOURCE: Baton Rouge Aids Society

Unfortunately, when we view this problem among African Americans from a national perspective, the statistics provided by the Baton Rouge Aids Society get even worse:

African Americans Make Up . . . . .

12% of the U.S. cases of HIV/AIDS

45% of all U.S. AIDS Cases

50% of all U.S. Men Who Have Sex With Men AIDS Cases

56% of all U.S. Female AIDS Cases

58% of all U.S. Pediatric AIDS Cases

Clearly, we have a problem – and it appears to be getting worse.

Get smart. Get tested. Don’t have sex without a condom. Your life may very well depend on it.

Join in the Fray: When was the last time you were tested for HIV/AIDS? If you’re sexually active, do you DARE to engage in sex without demanding that your partner use a condom?

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

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Filed Under: Announcements, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: African Americans, AIDS, annual observance, awareness, Baton Rouge, Black, Black women, death, HIV, HIV/AIDS, infected, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial romance, Louisiana, red pumps, white

How to Make Your Dreams Come True

January 26, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway Leave a Comment

DREAMS COME TRUE

I believe that statement . . . do you?

Today in Southwest Louisiana we are treated to clear skies and a delightful 74 degree temperature. I’d like nothing better than to be sitting outside sipping a white chocolate mocha at Starbucks. Instead, I’m cooped up inside, trying to stay on task so that I can get some work done on my dissertation.

Earning a PhD is but one of my many dreams, and this one is well within my grasp. Two – three more months of hard work, and I’m there. Then, it will be on to the next milestone in fulfillment of another dream.

What are you dreaming about today? What will it take for you to live your best life? I believe the best way to make that dream a reality is to pursue it.

Now, of course I’m not talking about engaging in any activities that undermine your values or cause you to compromise your sense of personhood. That kind of behavior only leaves you open for exploitation, abuse, and disappointment.

Set Your Vision

Visualize what you want to attain, and see yourself achieving it. Visualizing “Michelle Matthews-Calloway, PhD” goes a long way towards helping me to press forward. I imagine the sense of accomplishment and gratification I’ll feel when I cross the stage and go through the hooding ceremony.

If a mate is what you’re dreaming of, picture yourself walking down the aisle (or picture your bride walking toward you). See yourself in the corner office, directing a division within your company of choice. If you’re dreaming of retirement, visualize yourself on the beach or relaxing at the pool, cold drink in hand.

Do What it Takes

Just as we have to “put legs on our prayers,” we also have to put legs on our dreams. Determine what you need to do to make your dream come true, then make positive steps in that direction. Do what it takes to make things happen – even if it means you have to pass up a sunny day.

Join in the Fray: What are you dreaming of?

I’m blogging every day in the month of January in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl, All rights reserved.

 

 

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Filed Under: NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black, Black women, Black. White, BlogHer, courage, dating, doctoral degree, dreams, goals, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, Louisiana, NaBloPoMo, PhD, pursue, pursuit, sun, sunny, swirling, weather

Who Says White Men Can’t Dance???

January 4, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 17 Comments

One of the things I want to learn this year is Zydeco dancing.

This, my friends, is why:

I won’t tell y’all how many times I’ve watched this video. Yes, Home Girl has some great moves – no shade on her.

However.

I am not watching her moves.

(I’m just saying).

Coughs.

Sips some cold water.

Fans.

Clicks video again . . . .

(Hey! Don’t judge me!)

In Southwest Louisiana (also known as Cajun Country), MOST of the men – regardless of race or ethnicity) can dance like this.

This guy has some great moves he just needs a stylist.

So, who says White men can’t dance???

I rest my case. 

Join in the Fray: Can you  . . .  . dance?

I’m blogging every day in the month of January in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl, All rights reserved.

 

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Filed Under: NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black, Black women, Black. White, Cajun, Cajun Country, dance, dance lessons, dancing, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, lessons, Louisiana, Music, NaBloPoMo, Southwest Louisiana, swirling, White men, zydeco

November 26, 2012 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 2 Comments

~Le sigh.

After coming off the high that was last week (namely, celebrating my birthday, my Dad’s birthday, and Thanksgiving), today I had to deal with the extreme annoyances brought on by a wonky iPhone and laptop. 

I’ve been unable to receive text messages since approximately 2:30 p.m. Thanksgiving Day, so, if you texted me and I didn’t respond – please don’t take it personally.

I refuse to let these events make me miss the posting challenge, so I’m posting this from my Dad’s old desktop computer.

From my. Dad’s. old. desktop. computer.

*_*

I’ll just leave it at that, lest the frustration that is surging through my body causes me to engage in self-combustion.

(Which, after a week of revelry, Louisiana style, probably wouldn’t be pretty. I’m just saying).

Join in the Fray: Should I upgrade my iPhone 4GS  to the 5 – or try another phone altogether?

Copyright © 2012 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, All rights reserved.

I’m blogging every day in the month of November as a participant in NaBloPoMo. Thanks for reading and feel free to comment!

 

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Filed Under: Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: computer, electronics, Fray, iPhone, laptop, Louisiana, NaBloPoMo, November, problems, Thanksgiving

Fried Alligator and Boudin Balls, Anyone???

October 24, 2012 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 7 Comments

This past weekend I had the distinct pleasure of attending the 76th International Rice Festival in Crowley, LA. For those of you who may be unfamiliar with Louisiana culture, the state’s Department of Tourism reports that Louisiana holds over 400 festivals every year – and is “often called the Festival Capital of America.” The New Orleans Times Picayune  puts it this way:  “If you can eat it, drink it, play it, dance to it or ogle it, there’s a festival for it in south Louisiana. Probably this week.”

With that being said, the Rice Festival provided a delightful expression of diversity in two forms that really matter: People and food! These festivals seem to be the time that everyone pretty much put aside any race-centered or ethnic differences and instead become Louisianans who want to have a good time.

Yep, there was plenty of Swirling going on:

 

Where else in the world can large crowds of Blacks and Whites (with good sprinklings of Asians and Latinos mixed in) listen to and enjoy music like this:

And not only that, DANCE to it: 

AND, in addition to the fried alligator and spicy boudin balls, enjoy a good serving of pig feet or tripe?

This gentleman proudly told me I couldn’t take a photo unless he was in it!

(I purchased some wonderful homemade pralines. My cousin bought a bowl of pig feet – they were seasoned to perfection and delish! Yes, I eat pig feet – don’t judge me).

The truly adventuresome were able to help themselves to good ole helpings of squirrel, rabbit, or shark. Gotta try that shark next time . . . . .

 Join in the fray: What’s the most exotic food you’ve ever eaten? Would you be willing to try fried alligator, boudin balls, squirrel, or shark?

Copyright © 2012 Michelle Matthews Calloway, A Swirl Girl™, All rights reserved.

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Filed Under: Festivals and Events, Uncategorized Tagged With: Alligator, Arts, Arts and Entertainment, Cajun, Creole, culture, dancing, entertainment, International Rice Festival, Louisiana, New Orleans, New Orleans Times Picayune, swirling, Times-Picayune, United States, zydeco

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I’m Michelle Matthews-Calloway, and I’m A Swirl Girl! Greetings to you from The Swirl World. We encourage Black women to expand their relationship options by dating and marrying interracially. Our overarching mission is to see Black Women live their best life. Come Swirl with us in The Swirl World™, where we celebrate Black women and the diverse men who love us!™

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