Archives for September 2013

An Awww! Moment

September 21, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 10 Comments

Drove up to my parents’ house this morning and saw a flurry of balloons tied to the posts.

This sign was on the porch (personally hand-lettered by my Mother) :

Needless to say, I was in tears.

I love my family!

Join in the Fray: When was the last time someone surprised you?

The Cure For BIG Mistakes

September 9, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 61 Comments

My Mother purchased this eraser for me earlier this year when I was working on dissertation edits.

Needless to say, I needed this eraser – and used it often.

The writing on the eraser proudly proclaims: “For BIG Mistakes.” I thought about those words, what an eraser does, and wished the Dollar General made one that could be used on life’s big mistakes.

Have you ever done something you wished you could erase?

Made a decision to go right – when you should have gone left?

Said “Yes” when you should have said, “No?”

Walked away when you should have stayed?

Stayed when you should have walked away?

Unfortunately, neither life nor the Dollar General comes with an eraser For Life’s BIG Mistakes. We have always been told that we should learn from our mistakes, and that’s certainly true enough. Yet, mistakes don’t have to be self-made for us to learn from them; shucks, we can look at the mistakes of others and take a lesson if we choose to pay attention.

I also believe we learn the cure for a BIG mistake when we start over. We take the eraser and start swiping. The relief and the release come when we erase.

How do we erase? We erase when we let go; choose to forgive ourselves if the mistake was ours, or forgive someone if the mistake was theirs.

Erase; erase.

We erase when we decide to accept the concept of imperfection: Screw ups, blunders, lapses in judgment, missteps and major disasters. Yes; those imperfections can happen to us – and they can certainly happen to others. (You know – those people who do/did us wrong).

Erase, erase, erase.

We demonstrate that we have learned the cure for BIG mistakes when we dust off, regroup, recover and keep moving forward. Sadder? Maybe. Wiser? Definitely!

We move forward; on and up to the next step. We physically and emotionally put one foot in front of the other and keep going.

We soon discover not only have we progressed; we’ve grown and matured.

Ultimately, we see that we are better for the mistake.

And that’s when we know the cure is complete.

Join in the Fray: When have you had to use a BIG eraser?

I’m Ph.inisheD! (Among Other Things)

September 7, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 6 Comments

Whew!

If you’re my Facebook friend you’ve already heard the news.

I promised I had an announcement to make, and here it is:

I can now sign my name a:s

Michelle Matthews-Calloway, Ph.D.

Or, Dr. Michelle Matthews-Calloway

Or, Dr. Michelle

Or, Dr. Matthews-Calloway

Or – whelp, you get the picture.

I’m FINISHED!!!!!!

Woot to the Woot, Woot, WOOT!!!!

Thanks to everyone for all the emails, text messages, Facebook posts/in boxes, and phone calls.

Special thanks to my parents and my brothers, Mr. Art, Barbara G., Michelle M. (a.k.a. “Elle Veg“), Mitzie and everyone at Acadiana LifeStyle for the well wishes and encouragement when it was time to leave for my oral defense.

I have Dedication and Acknowledgment pages in the dissertation, and when it’s all filed and published, I’ll be sure to post the pages so you can see the names of the people who were the “wind beneath my wings.”

If it takes a village to raise a child, it takes an entire state to help someone who’s journeying to a Ph.D! (in my case, several states)

Whatever your role, large or small, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

So, What’s Next?

I’m now contemplating and praying about the next steps. Needless to say, after being in graduate school for the past seven years – since 2006; can you believe it??? – not having textbooks to read, research to conduct or papers to write feels STRANGE.

I need to make some decisions about this blog. I was listening to a vlog entitled “The Guilt of the Black Housewife” from my good cyber buddy, Eugenia Berg of Married Girl in a Weird World. She expressed the sentiment that she was planning to eventually retire her MGIAWW blog and focus on her new blog, Married Girl Takes on the Pacific Northwest, a regional travel blog.

I totally get that, and applaud her for following her interests and passions.

I’m not planning to retire the blog per se, yet I do plan to expand the focus somewhat. Shucks, when I look back on past posts I see that the focus has been expanding for probably the past 6 – 8 months; indicative of my evolving interests.

One thing I’ve decided that I’m not going to fight it; I’m just going to roll with it and see where I land.

The Swirl World on Facebook heavily covers concepts of diversity, interracial dating and interracial marriage (shout out to Adrienne L.L., the best fellow Admin. a Facebook page manager could ask for)! We have an awesome community that is growing by leaps and bounds, so a part of me is wondering if the Facebook page should primarily suffice as the “interracial” outlet.

(Feel free to weigh in with your thoughts. Yes, I know ultimately it’s my decision, yet a little well-intentioned feedback or input never hurt anyone. IJS).

My thoughts also turn to the For Church Girls blog. I’m really passionate about the concept behind FCG and want to make it work – can I build that blog and do the other things I want to do??? The A Swirl Girl blog is in a really good place – should I simply now focus on building the For Church Girls blog?

Not only that: I have two book ideas; one fiction, one non-fiction: Which one to pursue???

And,

Two of my professors want me to publish my dissertation in academic journals, and they want to publish with me (so stoked about that!) They also say that my research and academic publishing journey is just beginning, and I need to conduct more research on my chosen demographic (interracially married women of color).

Decisions, decisions.

~Le sigh.

I must say that Rosetta Thurman of the Happy Black Woman is putting out some stellar posts on decision-making and pursuing your dreams. I plan to review her blog posts and just meditate on them, in addition to engaging in some old-fashioned prayer.

Stay tuned . . . . .

Join in the Fray: What decisions/next steps are you contemplating right now? Any advice?

I Have A Confession To Make . . .

September 2, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 8 Comments

I, Michelle Matthews-Calloway, am an addict.

A jewelry addict, that is.

My earliest recollection of liking – no, loving jewelry is traceable to my maternal Grandmother, who had a small, yet wonderful collection of classic pieces: A beautiful strand of lustrous pearls (with the earrings to match – gifts from my Grandfather), a lovely, dainty real gold watch, and some simple, yet elegant brooches that were to die for.

She was a soft-spoken, plain woman, my Grandmother, yet she always starched her dresses – and her aprons. Her cloth shoes were always impeccably clean; her leather shoes shined to perfection. Of very modest taste, she wasn’t one for flashy jewelry, and she definitely adhered to a philosophy of “less is more.”

My Mother’s tastes in jewelry began as modestly as my Grandmother’s, yet, as the years progressed, she began to love bolder pieces. Having a husband in the military who supported – even encouraged – her affinity for jewelry was the coup de grâce to any ideas of restraint, particularly as far as purchasing jewelry was concerned.

Enter me.

(I had probably just seen a new necklace when this photo was taken)

What choice did I have in the matter???

From my Grandmother I learned about the importance of style and quality when selecting jewelry. From my Mother I learned the sheer sense of pure indulgence that expensive jewelry provides – particularly when you (a) purchase it for yourself, or (b) have it lavished on you by your husband, father, brother or significant other.

Some people run to the shoe department, the makeup counter or to the handbags when they enter a store.

Me? You’d better believe I’m headed to the jewelry counters.

So when I heard over at Beyond Black & White that Tanisha Everette a.k.a. Tanisha Shulamit, world traveler, fashion-meister, and Blog Mistress of Lattes and Lipstick had launched a new jewelry line, I promptly clicked the link to check it out.

I mean, I had no choice, right?

And of course, once I viewed Tanisha’s stunning designs, I had to order something.

I couldn’t just . . . look at it – why, that jewelry was literally begging me to purchase it.

And so I did: A set of beautiful citrine bracelets.

(Citrine is my birthstone, dontchaknow).

I made the order, and soon received a nice email from Tanisha thanking me for my purchase.

My ~~fix~~ bracelets promptly arrived in a beautiful gift box:

Inside, the cutest business card you’d ever want to see:

And then . . . the bracelets! Two delightful charmers in all their vintagy- understated goodness:

I saw these and immediately thought of my precious Grandmother. Words like . . . quiet . . . elegant . . . and beautiful came to mind.

And if those weren’t special enough, Tanisha had included a bit of lagniappe:

A third bracelet!

I must say that I was very pleased with my purchase. The bracelets are made of high-quality materials and are a joy to wear. Elegant, chic and affordable for Fashionistas on a budget. I certainly plan to place more orders.

Tanisha assured me that her new fall collection is going to blow me away. If these bracelets are any indication, you’re looking at one happy ~~addict~~ customer.