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The Swirl World

Celebrating and Elevating Black Women - mind, body, soul and spirit!


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Archives for December 2013

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

December 25, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 3 Comments

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Merry Christmas to you and yours!

Adrienne and I are on hiatus from the blog and The Swirl World on Facebook until January 6, 2014.

We’ll be back next year with more couples, more stories and more news from our pal Mike in Australia.

We have more foreign connections in the works – more gentlemen who will give us Swirling news from far-flung places including Scotland and New Zealand.

Expect a potpourri of posts designed to inspire, entertain, educate and inform you concerning all things Swirling.

Look for us in 2014 – we’re going to be bigger and better than ever!

Till next year, Swirl on.

Join in the Fray: What are you doing to get your Swirl on during the holidays?

All rights reserved. Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, Dallas, TX, USA.

 

 

 

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Filed Under: Announcements, Special Tagged With: Australia, Black women, Black. White, Christmas, dating, Facebook, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, love, Merry Christmas, Mondays With Mike, New Zeland, Scotland, swirling

We’re Spending Christmas In Australia With Mike!

December 23, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway Leave a Comment

big camera hides mans face

Um, virtually, that is.

Members of The Swirl World can’t be there in person, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have a first-hand view of what Christmas is like in Australia.

In his last post for 2013, Mike answers the question: “What it’s like to spend Christmas in Australia?”

City of Perth Christmas Tree

City of Perth Christmas Tree

Ahh, Christmas, there’s nothing quite like it. Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, yule log burning in the hearth, snowball fights and hearty roasted meals. A time for slogging through cold weather to reach loved ones, and snuggling up together before a warm fire; sleighs and reindeer, and all that wonderful nonsense.

Well put paid to those ideas because in the Southern Hemisphere it’s Summer time, so that means shorts, t-shirts, BBQ’s, beer and sports for Christmas!

PERTH BEACH BOYS

Beach boys: Paul O’Connell, Tommy Bowe and Jonathan Davies strut their stuff at City Beach in Perth. Picture: PA Photo [Source]

There was once a time when Australia felt closest to England, where we tried as hard as we could to emulate their Christmas traditions. So a goose for Christmas, chestnuts, a Yule log (if you were particularly crazy) and a hell of a lot of roast meals. Poor Mums across Australia would have been fainting in the kitchen from all of that heat!

Then as our cultural mix changed, so did our habits. We stopped putting on all the pomp and ceremony, dropped the heavy clobber (clothes) for more utility wear of shorts or jeans and short sleeve shirts, and started eating things more in tune with the season.

Santa still is around in the shopping centres for the kids, but wearing a more loose-fitting lighter red suit. The beard and the hat stays though, so I am sure they’re glad that they’re inside in air-conditioned stores while they work.

Baby, It’s Hot Outside!

This year’s Christmas Day in Perth is going to be 30ºC (86ºF), so you can appreciate why we don’t get as formally dressed up. One year it was 44ºC  (111.2ºF), which was hot enough to kill the spiders which used to hide up on the transparent verandah (patio) roof. Thankfully it was too hot to go outside, but we absolutely baked in the heat. I think the East Coasters are going to cop it this year, according to the forecast, which will be interesting as they are nowhere near as acclimatised to the heat as us West Coasters are.

Mike’s Family Traditions

So Christmas foods for us and traditions have to revolve around things more appropriate for summer. This means BBQ’s and seafood for lunch, cold salads and other dishes, and perhaps a small roast meal in there as well (though not as often as before).

My family’s traditions have changed over the years. Mostly it’s the same as anywhere – We all piled into a car to go visiting relatives, eat far too much food, laugh way too loud before piling back into the car to visit another relative’s house.

Families across Australia usually have people over for lunches and dinner, blokes standing around cooking a BBQ and telling tall tales, the kids playing sports or running around with far too much sugar in them, and the ladies sitting and chatting amongst themselves with a nice glass of wine. We’re often very relaxed as to how it all goes.

No Cash? No Problem!

Often people don’t have a lot of cash to spend on holidays away, and to be honest we don’t really need to go that far. 90% of us live on or near the coast, and that means a ton of parks, beaches and other great free locations to go to for the day.

For those who go to a park or the beach (which often happens as it’s a great time to be out amongst other people), several families who might not know each other will get together to play cricket, kick a football around or go swimming. It becomes a communal event, and a great place to meet new people or just have fun outdoors.

The Yugoslavian traditions we used to have meant that in the year a massive gathering was organised, you could count on the most succulent lamb, and pig slow cooked on a spit that you’ve ever had in your life.

This was when a lot of the extended group used to live out in the Swan Valley area, with massive farm blocks the kids could run wild on, and everyone have a great time just catching up with one another. Unfortunately, due to the war back in the 90’s fracturing the Yugoslavian community (everyone is now Croatian, Serbian, Bosnian, etc.) and the moving away of family members, it’s not really happened as much since. If there is one thing I would like to resurrect, it’s definitely this style of gathering.

A White Christmas? Not!

I’ve always wanted to experience a white Christmas, but I have to say, being able to get around easily, not deal with inclement weather, and to go outside to enjoy the outdoors or have a swim at the beach or play cricket in the park is an absolute joy at Christmas.

There are definitely times when you wish you had a snowball ready to cool yourself or someone else down with, but for the most part it’s a really wonderful time of year to be having a celebration. The closest analogy I can make is our Christmas celebrations would be much akin to the 4th of July celebrations in the USA. Perfect time of year to be getting out and visiting people, eating way too much and generally having a great time.

See You Next Year

I’d just like to say thanks to everyone here at the Swirl World, especially the hosts Michelle and Adrienne, for the wonderful opportunity of being an Ambassador for Australia to you all. You inspire me greatly and have made me feel very warm and welcomed. Wishing the best for all of you and your family’s this year, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you one and all! I’ll be sending warm thoughts out to you from Down Under to keep those winter chills away! Have a great one and I look forward to talking to you all again in the New Year!

Cheers!

Mike

MIKE MIOCEVICHGot questions for Mike? Send them to us via inbox on Facebook or email them to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

We’ll be back January 6, 2014 with more Mondays With Mike!

Follow Mike on Twitter @500and50 and read his blog at 500and50.com, or message him on his 500and50 Facebook page.

 

Join in the Fray: Where are you spending Christmas this year?

All rights reserved. Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, Dallas, TX, USA. 

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Filed Under: Mondays With Mike, Uncategorized Tagged With: Australia, Black women, Black. White, Christmas, Christmas celebration, Christmas dinner, dating, Facebook, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, Mike, Monday, Mondays With Mike

The Shocking Truth About The Plenty Of Fish Dating Site

December 18, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 31 Comments

Of all the online dating websites out there, I’d say Plenty Of Fish – POF – gets the worst rap.

Women complain about the jerks, scumbags and sleaze balls that troll around on that site looking for fresh meat like jackals in the wild.

Time would not allow me to tell you of the horror stories I’ve heard and read – guys posting “birthday suit” profile photos, obscene pickup lines and other gross, classless foolery.

So much foolery that POF is often referred to as POS.

(IJS).

???????

Despite these discouraging tales, the shocking truth about the Plenty Of Fish dating site is that people are actually finding love.

Yep – people. are. finding. love. on. Plenty. Of. Fish.

Not just love – interracial love.

Swirl love.

SHOCKED FACE

A few weeks ago we were treated to a video of David Mazur and Andrea Ellis, a Swirl couple who met on POF and won a $100,000 grand prize toward their dream wedding.

We’d be happy for any couple who won, but we have to admit that we were especially happy that a Swirl couple won that huge prize. They represented – not only for POF, but for Swirl couples worldwide.

Not Convinced? We’ll Make A Believer Out Of You

We posted a question on The Swirl World’s Facebook page and asked our fans if they used POF.

In light of POF’s bad reputation, the results were surprising.

Meet Chassitie and Josh Thornton.

Chassitie and Josh Photo 1

They met on Plenty Of Fish. 

Here’s their story in Chassitie’s own words:

My husband and I currently live in Fairbanks, Alaska – his current duty station. In Fall of 2014 we will be moving to Yelm, Washington (his home town) for our next duty station – Fort Lewis.

Chassitie and Josh Photo 4

We have been together for 13 months. We officially met the day after my birthday.

We currently have no children at all but would like to start our family when he returns from his current deployment. We want at least 3 children (I want five though! lol).

How They Met

It was a few days after I moved to Fairbanks, with my best friend, from my hometown in California. We met through a message on POF.com. It was a social website for people trying to find friends or a date. My overall goal was friends. I grew up in a small town in northern California and was a tomboy who always hung out with the guys. So having just moved I wanted to make some friends.

I wrote him telling him about having just moved and that I was looking for friends to hang out with and hike, play video games or watch movies with. He wrote back. We talked for a day or two about our hobbies and interests and then I gave him my number. We made plans to hang out, but never got around to an actual day. Then for some reason I can’t remember I just stopped talking.

Then came my birthday. I was out getting my hair done when he texted me to wish me a happy birthday. It was then that I asked him if he wanted to hang out – I wanted to look at outdoor gear and camping stuff.

So the next day he came and picked me up. We went to the Sportsmans’ Warehouse and walked around for a bit talking about outdoor stuff and camping trips and things we wanted to do.

Chassitie and Josh Photo 5

I don’t know when exactly it happened but sometime within the next 24 hours I knew we couldn’t be “just friends.”

So we started dating.

Chassitie and Josh Photo 7

Their Defining Moment (When They Knew They Were In Love)

Chassitie and Josh Photo Kiss

Chassitie: I knew I loved him a little over a week after we first met. We spent every moment that he wasn’t at work together. I knew I had feelings for him before then but later I was certain I loved him when we took our first shower together. We just held onto one another. I felt so comfortable and so safe and so secure. And I’ve never felt like that with anyone before.

Chassitie and Josh Photo 8

Josh: My wife and I have this thing we do where we reminisce on the moments of our relationship, and one of the questions that comes up is when I knew I loved her. The answer is always the same. I knew I loved her the moment we met. But she was the first to say it.

Chassitie and Josh Photo 10

What They Like Most About Each Other

Chassitie: I love his sensitivity, his softness, his strength, his understanding and his patience. But above all, I love that he is family oriented. Family is the biggest priority in my life.

Josh: Her strength. Our first year of marriage was hard because we faced – I faced – a few personal hardships. But she was always there for me, she was my rock. She always knew exactly what to do or what to say to make me feel better and put a smile on my face.

Chassitie and Josh Photo 11

The Advice They Would Give To Others

Chassitie: My biggest piece of advice would be, Don’t be afraid to take chances or step outside your comfort zone.

Josh: Just be yourself. I never tried to impress my wife. When we first met I was wearing Wranglers and a t-shirt.

Chassitie and Josh Photo 6

More To Come

For those of you who are still skeptical, we have something for you: More couples.

Stay tuned; the next three couples we’re featuring have something in common besides their Swirl status:

They all met on Plenty Of Fish.

We’ll share some of their vetting tips, and they’ll tell you how they managed to navigate the shark-infested waters of POS POF and find the love of their lives.

In the meantime, for some “Come to Jesus vetting tips” we wholeheartedly suggest that you check out Eugenia Berg’s Married Girl In A Weird World blog.

Eugenia did an awesome series entitled “Dating In The Age of Dumba$$es – Online Dating” Vetting Redux.” Click here for Part 1 and here for Part 2.

Swirl on.

Join in the Fray: Are you currently on an online dating site? Which one(s)? What have been your experiences?

All rights reserved. Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, Dallas, TX, USA. Photos used with permission.

 

 

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Filed Under: BW/WM, OPEL, Uncategorized Tagged With: Alaska, Black women, Black. White, California, Chassitie, dating, deployed, deployment, Facebook, interracial, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, Josh, military, online dating, online dating sites, Plenty of Fish, POF, POS, swirling, Thornton

Women With Children – A Deal Breaker? (Mike’s Response)

December 16, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 2 Comments

WOMAN WITH STROLLER

This week we bring you Part 2 of Mike’s response to this question from our Facebook page:

“I wonder how Mike feels about women with children?  Is that deal breaker? It seemed like his perfect date would be for a women with no children and free time to spend a whole day (not knocking it but I have two boys who come first). I just wonder if this isn’t even considered when looking for a mate . . .  Sorry I’m soap boxing :: steps down::”

Last week we shared Part 1 of Mike’s response. It was so thorough we broke it in two parts!

Here in Part 2, Mike tells us if a woman with children is a deal breaker for him:

MAN WOMAN STROLLER

“I don’t expect to be anyone’s saviour, last best hope, Prince Charming or even Quasimodo for that matter. I am a man with just as many flaws as any other, and I definitely don’t have all the answers. My response could be just as wrong as it is right. But for what it’s worth I think a man, a true man who is honest to himself as much as he is to you should have the fortitude to not lead someone on if he had no intentions of making a commitment. If they constantly focus on the above barriers they see in the relationship, then the chance is that they aren’t ready, no matter how much you might want them to be.

I don’t wish to say all men are going to be like this, as they won’t. Some will though, and I would rather see you prepared than go in blind. If a man wants to be with you but does not care for your kids, that’s a deal breaker. The last thing you’d want is someone who is willing to marry you, but at the expense of excluding the children you already have, especially if the marriage leads to having a child with him who he might favour over the others. That’s not good for you or your children. If you’re honest and open with the guy you meet and let him know that your children are the most important thing to you, and will also need to be important to him, it will help you weed out the non-genuine suitors. They might be Mr. Right in all other ways, but if they aren’t willing to recognise this, they are not right for you.

I think that it would be excellent to show anyone you do date just how good it can be dating someone who already has kids. Kids are great as they don’t varnish their opinions, and are often good judges of character. They’re also fun to hang out with because everything is new and interesting, stories are fun and exciting, and they impart this to the people who share it with them. They’ll say the funniest things at odd moments, and are wonderful to watch growing up, despite the growing pains they all go through, and the difficulties that might arise in looking after them. Some men will really like this and take it as a challenge and new experience, others won’t. It is the way of all relationships I guess.

I hope I haven’t blathered on for too long, nor been completely ignorant of understanding things beyond my scope. As with all men often I am as thick as two short planks, but I do like to learn. I know I will be learning as much if not a multitude more from all of you than any small pieces of wisdom I might impart. I am willing to recognise when I am wrong and in the face of new evidence change my mind. If I say something out of turn or am completely oblivious, please do let me know as it’s the only way we can progress. I love to have a discussion and spirited debate, but I always intend to approach such things with both an open mind and an honest viewpoint.

Thanks for your question, it’s given me much to consider!”

Mike

MIKE MIOCEVICHGot questions for Mike? Send them to us via inbox on Facebook or email them to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Tune in next Monday for more Mondays With Mike!

Follow Mike on Twitter @500and50 and read his blog at 500and50.com, or send him a friend request on Facebook.

Join in the Fray: Is Mike being realistic . . . or unrealistic? Why or why not?

 

 

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

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Filed Under: Uncategorized

How To Not Go HAM On Folks

December 11, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway Leave a Comment

Ever faced a situation that made you want to go straight HAM on folks? Wanna know how to prevent it?

KeepCalmStudio.com-[Crown]-Keep-Calm-And-Take-A-Deep-Breath

That’s how.

(or, you can do this):

KeepCalmStudio.com-[Crown]-Keep-Calm-And-Think-Of-A-Hot-Guy

If you tried to visit the site yesterday, you probably received a “File Not Found 404” error message or saw our domain name with a huge “X” next to it.

*Takes deep breath*

Thanks to The Swirl World fans on Facebook who gave us a heads up and let us know we had trouble in our online Swirl Paradise.

Seems the bots that be at our web hosting service Bluehost.com went wonky on me. I had 4 domains – A Swirl Girl dot com and A Swirl Girl dot net, and ditto for The Swirl World.

Well, the dot nets were set to expire, which was fine with me – at this point, all I want to keep are the dot coms.

Whelp, guess which ones Bluehost let expire – even after I’d made FOUR phone calls to them telling them the notification emails they were sending had the wrong addresses?

*Takes yet another deep breath*

I’ve been informed by technical support that clearing the cache in your browser will do the trick.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Just the thought of this even happening is extremely irritating.

Sigh.

 

*Thinks of hot guy*

Hugh Jackman Face

Swirl on.

Join in the Fray: What do you do to “Keep Calm?”

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

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Filed Under: Keep Calm, Uncategorized Tagged With: anger, Black. White, domain, dot com, dot net, expiration, expired domain, hot guy, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, Keep Calm, technical difficulty

Is A Baby In Mike’s Future??

December 9, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 4 Comments

big camera hides mans faceLast week we kicked off our Mondays With Mike series and introduced you to writer and blogger Michael Miocevich (My-oh-see-vitch), a native of Western Australia who is now our guide to Swirling in Australia.

(Mike also lends us his brain and lets us pick it at will).

In his first post Mike received three questions, one of which was to tell his idea of a fun date.

Whelp, Mike’s response generated this follow-up question from a fan on our Facebook page:

“I wonder how Mike feels about women with children?  Is that deal breaker? It seemed like his perfect date would be for a women with no children and free time to spend a whole day (not knocking it but I have two boys who come first). I just wonder if this isn’t even considered when looking for a mate . . .  Sorry I’m soap boxing :: steps down::”

This is quite a legitimate question, particularly because dating with children is a reality for millions of singles. I forwarded the question to Mike as fast as my little fingers could type it.

So, hmm . . . . Is a baby in Mike’s future?? What followed is Part 1 of his very thoughtful response:

CRYING BABY BOY 1

“This can be an interesting but also sometimes a hard topic to talk about. Some men can be rather apprehensive, as often while they can relate to the woman they are dating, they might feel a gulf between them and her children. This is more a psychological barrier than anything. The man doesn’t know exactly what role he should play, and also might worry about the notion that he might be seen as someone who is supplanting the child’s biological father. This can be rather conflicting, and I have seen marriages being broken up early due to the intervention of kids vs their parents new husband/wife. I have seen this both in relationships of divorced men and divorced women, so there is no finger of blame being pointed here. If this is noticed early on, with the children not getting along with the new partner, it really does need to be addressed as soon as possible.

Other times it can be the wrong thought for men that if they were to date a woman who has children from another relationship, that immediately they would be expected to provide for those children as well, when what they want is freedom and fun to develop a relationship with someone who is unattached or has no children. This is a rather selfish way to go through things in life, always wondering what people are trying to get from you. Often the women who these men could date and have children already are quite used to providing for their children, and aren’t expecting their new beau to walk in and be immediately put on the spot for financial help. It would be my hope that if a person did date and fall in love with someone who has children, that they would offer to help out as a gesture of love. It says he cares for you and your children, even though they aren’t his biologically. A man is going to have to face up to this eventually, so if he doesn’t think he can manage it, he’s better off not stringing someone along, thinking that he’ll eventually come around to it.

So where do I stand in all of this? I’m 38, so I am kind of on the fence in regards to starting a family with someone I meet. On the one hand I might have left it too long, as I’d like to be the kind of guy who spends times with his children and is active with them, rather than being too tired after working to do so, and leave them to be raised by the TV. On the other hand, who says that this should be the case? If I were to meet the right person, why couldn’t my life be structured to have a decent job, but time available to spend with my wife and children? These are questions that can really only be properly sorted out once I have met that special person who is right for me. It’s got to be a joint decision. Trying to plan out things exactly how you want them to happen is an exercise in futility. Better to have broad plans that move you forward and are able to accommodate any curve balls thrown your way.

As for dating women who already have children, I don’t see why not! If we are lucky enough to make a connection with someone who excites us, challenges us, is great to be with and who you don’t know if you could be without, I don’t see why them having children would be such a barrier to having a relationship with them. The above preconception is something a lot of people automatically make as they have no experience of such situations. I would be prone to them myself as I have only dated women who were previously single and without children. To be honest perhaps I was too limited in my view of what a fun date would be because of it. Another limitation is that my place isn’t that huge, so dating a woman who has children and is looking to emigrate to Australia might be a touch difficult as I don’t have a lot of space for more than one other person. This is likely to be something which changes in the future, but at the moment it is likely to be a factor. However, as with all things, any problems will have a solution.

In which case a date with a women who has children might involve a day at the museum (the American Museum of Natural History is absolutely fantastic and I could have spent days there when I was in NYC) or a visit to a park for a picnic. If we go to a park I am going to have to pack a cricket bat and ball so we can have a hit before lunch (yes, I am going to hold on to my Australian sporting identity darnit!). A nice lunch and a walk around the park while the kids go roughhousing nearby. Pack it all up and head to the movies (at a cinema or at home) for something light-hearted and pants-wettingly funny, or even do so at home on the couch. If I have been dating the woman for some time, then reading the kids a story before bedtime, or even make up one of my own for them would be really cool. Then the rest of the evening can be spent talking and being together on the couch, conversations of everything and nothing, and sweet kisses before parting.”

Stay tuned for Part 2, where Mike gives us insight into what a man thinks when he considers dating a woman with children.

MIKE MIOCEVICHGot questions for Mike? Send them to us via inbox on Facebook or email them to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Follow Mike on Twitter @500and50, read his blog at 500and50.com, or message him on Facebook.

Join in the Fray: What are your thoughts on dating someone with children?

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

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Filed Under: Mondays With Mike, Special Tagged With: Australia, babies, baby, Black women, Black. White, Blog, blogger, child, children, dating, deal breaker, Facebook, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, love, Michael, Michael Miocevich, Mondays With Mike, swirling, Western Australia, white

How Do You Define The Reality Of Love?

December 4, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 1 Comment

If you were asked to describe “The Reality Of Love,” what would be your response?

This week’s couple, Valentai and Justin Cook reflect the reality of love – but not for the reason you might expect.

I’m especially excited about this installment of “Ordinary People – Extraordinary Love” for several reasons.

First, Valentai and Justin Cook are a military family (Justin is a Marine). Valentai is Black and Justin is Irish-German.

Needless to say, we at The Swirl World love and appreciate our men and women in uniform. Not only that, as a former Army brat I know what military life is like and I’m acutely aware of the sacrifices required of every member of the family. Kudos to all who serve their country!

Second, Justin and Valentai are together because her brother (1) loved her, (2) wanted to see her happy and (3) was open-minded enough to realize that love comes in more than one color.

That’s right: Valentai’s brother brought them together.

The Cook’s Sweet Story 

Valentai says:

“We live on Camp Pendleton in California. We’ve been together for 2 1/2 years. We have two children, both boys. Their ages are 7-years old (Albert) and 2-months old (Dylan). 

Valentai Cook 1

We met through my brother who is also in the Marines. 

I knew I was in love with Justin when I saw how wonderful he was with my son. I knew he’d make an amazing husband and father. 

What I like most about him is his kindness and determination to always make the best out of whatever life throws us.” 

Valentai’s Advice

“My advice I would give to anyone in or seeking an interracial relationship would be to know what you want 100% and don’t let anyone tell you they you don’t deserve happiness. People will always be judgmental, but as long as you and that special someone are happy, then nothing can break that love. “

The Reality Of Love

When someone – be it family member, friend, neighbor, coworker, whomever – genuinely loves you, he or she will want the best for you.

They won’t begrudge your happiness – and they won’t try to dictate it, either.

Valentai’s brother recognized that Justin, his fellow Marine was a quality man.

So much so, he introduced him to his sister.

There was no haterade flowing or blocking going on – just a loving brother who wanted to see his sister happy.

The reality of love is that it always seeks the good of its object – no matter what.

Does this depiction of love reflect your reality? If not, what are you going to do about it?

NOTE: Valentai informed me that Justin just left for deployment, so let’s be sure to send lots of prayers and love to the Cook family. We look forward to hearing more from this couple and wish them and their sons all the best.

2-month old Dylan Cook

2-month old Dylan Cook

 

Join in the Fray: How’s your “love” life?

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved. Photos used with permission.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Filed Under: BW/WM, OPEL, Series Tagged With: Army, Army brat, Black women, Black. White, brother, brothers, couples, extraordinary love, Family, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, love, Marine, military, military family, OPEL, ordinary people, reality, sons, swirl, swirling, white

Mondays (And Dates) With Mike

December 2, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 6 Comments

big camera hides mans faceLast Monday we enjoyed a veritable feast for the eyes with the “Men From Down Under” – Australian men who make our hearts skip a beat and send us ladies on mental trips to Fantasy Island.

We introduced you to our own Michael Miocevich (pronounced My-oh-see-vitch). Mike lives in Western Australia and cheerfully agreed to serve as our guide to Swirling in Australia.

(He also agreed to give us a first-hand view into the male mind. Think about it: Who better than a man to tell us how a man thinks??)

In addition to being an all-around good sport Mike is a writer and blogger. If you love delightful prose and poetry (yes, he writes poetry!) check out his blog here.

We put the call out for questions and started receiving immediate responses.

This week’s questions are from Chongo, one of our fans in The Swirl World on Facebook.

NOTE: Chongo’s questions (in red) and Mike’s responses (in blue) are unedited.

Hi TSW!

Happy Thanksgiving. 

My name’s Chongo (Chit) and I’ve been reading your blog and FB page for months (about a year). I’ve been interested in interracial dating & relationships since primary school when my first crush was a cute soft-spoken white boy called Michael. I like men of all races and nationalities and your page is a great space for eye candy, articles and normalising love across colour lines. So thank you for this amazing space – it is serious, fun and everything in between and outside.

 I read about your ‘Mondays with Mike’ from the blog and I’m sending in my questions.

Hello Mike, thanks for enabling this form of interaction. Here are my questions: 

1. Do your family and friends know about your attraction to black women? If affirmative, what was their reaction? Does their reaction (positive or negative) matter to you?

Pretty woman portrait

Hi Chongo, great to make your acquaintance!

Here are the answers to your questions; as good as I can make them.

1 – A few of my friends know, as I have told them, but my family I haven’t. This is not because I am afraid nor ashamed of liking who I like, it’s just that my parents and siblings made things incredibly awkward for me when I was growing up. Any hint of liking a girl meant that they couldn’t help but blurt it out to her while I was standing there, making me go bright red and both of us feel awkward. Another reason is that my siblings have had complicated relationships with the people they went out with (and married) over the years, and a lot of that drama that happened was played out in front of the family. I prefer to keep my relationships close to my heart. In the end it’s myself and the person I am with who matter, not the opinions of anyone else.

These days I think my relatives would likely say “about time!” if I showed up to a family gathering with a girl, and I very much doubt they would care what ethnicity she was. If they had a negative reaction I would be upset, because they wouldn’t be the people I thought they were. However, I don’t think this will be a problem. I’d also let my family know to mind their P’s and Q’s if I were to bring anyone along, regardless of where she was from. I am sure my siblings would give me those kind of knowing looks about the fact I had introduced someone to them, and possibly pull dumb faces and go ‘ooooo-oooh!” when I was near them, but I think they’d get over it  I suspect they’ve been waiting a long time to hassle me about such things and are going to take every opportunity to make me uncomfortable about having a girlfriend there as much as possible, but that’s the price the youngest in the family usually has to pay.

2. What’s your greatest curiosity about black women (bearing in mind we are not a monolith) or what is the one thing you are most curious about vis-a-vis black women? 

2 – An interesting question, and I hope my answer doesn’t come off as pandering or trite. I wonder why some men from different ethnic groups don’t appreciate black women for the wonderful jewels they are. I can’t fathom it myself. I’ve been talking to Michelle, and she has linked me to the song by the Doors called “Hello”, which Jim Morrison wrote after seeing an incredibly gorgeous black woman, but not having the confidence to talk to her. He says as much in the lines “Do you hope to make her see, you fool? Do you hope to pluck this dusky jewel?” I have lived far too long in that mindset, thinking that black women did not want anything to do with white guys (mostly misinformed by TV, movies and music I have to say), but broke the habit some time ago. I guess perhaps a lot of the guys have the same hang-ups I had, in as much as they think they’ll be rebuffed instantly. A lot of the time guys are shy in approaching anyone, but I do hope in the future men of all groups will take the chance and be accepted in return. I’d love to see more of that.

3. What is your idea of a fun date? 

3 – I’d love to spend an day in a place where lots of art and creativity is on display, with all kinds of artists showcasing their talents. Take brunch or lunch at a nice restaurant and discuss what has been seen, and the general small talk about anything which is so fun to have. In the afternoon watch a live band, take in a play or an enjoyable movie, or be content to wander amongst trees and nature in a park. As the sun goes down find a spot for a picnic and toast the last rays of the sun as they disappear over the horizon, and be graced with a wonderful display of colour with the sunset. At night a moonlit walk along the beach holding hands, combined with acting the fool in the low surf as it hits the shore, and a dreamy kiss under the stars. That would be a good day. A very good day.

 

And there you have it, folks – straight from the mouth of our man Mike in Australia. Special thanks to TSW fan Chonogo for submitting those questions.

MIKE MIOCEVICHGot questions for Mike? Send them to us via inbox on Facebook or email them to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Tune in next Monday for more Mondays With Mike!

You can follow Mike on Twitter @500and50 and read his blog at 500and50.com.

 

Join in the Fray: What do you think of Mike’s description of a “fun date?”

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

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Filed Under: Mondays With Mike, Uncategorized Tagged With: 500and50, Australia, Australian, Australian men, Black women, Black. White, blogging, Chongo, dating, Facebook, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, interracial romance, love, Mike, Mondays, poetry, questions, swirling, United States, Western Australia, Writing

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Welcome!

I’m Michelle Matthews-Calloway, and I’m A Swirl Girl! Greetings to you from The Swirl World. We encourage Black women to expand their relationship options by dating and marrying interracially. Our overarching mission is to see Black Women live their best life. Come Swirl with us in The Swirl World™, where we celebrate Black women and the diverse men who love us!™

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