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The Swirl World

Celebrating and Elevating Black Women - mind, body, soul and spirit!


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Loving Black Women Is Not A Fetish – It’s A Preference!

March 16, 2015 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 1 Comment

African Tribal beauty face

A bit of time has passed since we presented an edition of Mondays With Mike, featuring our good friend and Team Member, Australian Michael Miocevich.

When we began corresponding with him on The Swirl World Facebook page, he told us,

“I am a white guy from Western Australia, and I have always been attracted to black girls/women. At my first school social I danced with a girl from South Africa, and I never forgot it, or her. I have met and dated a lot of girls, but I never fall as hard as I do for Black women.”

Mike started writing a column for us and became a member of our Team.Since then, he’s been busy – working and doing things like being on national Australian television to discuss interracial dating.

You go, Boi!

Mike slowed down enough to chat with our Men’s Editor Mark Custard for a special segment of The Swirl World Podcast – The Men’s Edition.

Mike doesn’t hold anything back as he talks about his love for and appreciation of Black women.

He says unabashedly that his love for Black women is not a fetish – it’s a PREFERENCE!

What Black woman doesn’t appreciate knowing that?

If you don’t see the podcast player, click here to obtain a direct download of this episode. To listen on the podcast website, click here.

 

To listen on Sound Cloud, click here.

 

MIKE-M-THIS-ONE-225x300Follow Mike on Twitter @500and50, read his blog at 500and50.com, or message him on his 500and50 Facebook page.

Got questions for Mike? Send them to us via inbox on Facebook or email them to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

 

 

Joel Louis Podcast CoverThis week’s “Shout Out!” goes to fellow podcaster Joel Louis of The Start Up Dad HQ Podcast, available on iTunes and Android platforms.

Joel is on a mission to help extraordinary Fathers of today who are/want to be fully engaged in every aspect of their children lives and who are also trying to figure out how to purse their dreams of entrepreneurship. To visit his website, click here.

 

Want to be a guest on The Swirl World podcast, or know someone who should? Send an email to Podcast@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Be sure to “Like” The Swirl World on Facebook and subscribe to our podcast on iTunes.

You can also follow us on Sound Cloud and listen to the show on Stitcher Radio! 

Copyright © 2015  Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, The Swirl World Podcast™,  All rights reserved. Photos used with permission.

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Filed Under: BW/WM, Fantastic Fans, Men's Podcast, Podcast, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: 500and50, Australia, Australian, Black women, fetish, interracial dating, interracial relationships, Mark Custard, Men's Podcast, Michael Miocevich, preference, preferences, swirl, swirling, White men

Mike’s Advice On How To Change Your Life – Part 1

May 28, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 2 Comments

Cottesloe Beach, Perth, Western Australia. Photo courtesy of  ©John Miocevich

Cottesloe Beach, Perth, Western Australia. Photo courtesy of ©John Miocevich

So last week we shared the good news that our guy Mike in Australia appeared on a national television show and experienced an epiphany that changed his life – and all because of his connections to The Swirl World.

(See what Swirling will do for you? We’re just saying.)

One of the things we find so gratifying about publishing this blog is the fact that we know we are making a difference and changing people’s lives – and we have the emails, Facebook in-boxes, letters and comments to prove it.

He’s been on a journey of personal discovery, our Mike, and he is kind enough – and humble enough, we might add – to share it with us.

He’s a jewel in more ways than one, our Mike, not only because he’s willing to share his journey but because he’s also able to articulate it – and we are the better for this personal insight.

Mike’s life has changed – shifted – in a profound way. Read Mike’s post to learn more about what’s happening as a result of the shift.

Mike says:

You might wake up one day, set to change your life and how you live it, only to find yourself worried that you’ve completely messed it up, and worse it’s too late to do anything about it.

Standing amongst the rubble of plans you had for yourself, where you thought you would be in life and who you would be with, you might wonder “How did I get here?” What’s worse is that not only does that hit you, but then the next question will be “How do I get out?!?”

I’ve often felt like that.

I was bullied quite a lot during my school years, and it left an indelible mark on me, so much that I don’t think I have lived life as full as I could have.

Breaking out of that cage has been more freeing than anything I have experienced before. But now, even though I have done so, the world can still look quite daunting.

If you feel the same, and if, like me, you’re starting out again at any stage in life, you might find it hard to see a way out.

You carry a burden of what you think are mistakes and failures, and believe that life is going to be really hard to sort out from here.

But that’s not true.

One of the great works of literature is John Bunyan’s allegorical masterpiece, “Pilgrim’s Progress.” After deciding to change his life, the protagonist Christian, burdened by the weight of the choices he has made in life, sets out to escape the City of Destruction to travel to the Celestial City.

Two town members try to get him to change his mind, Obstinate and Pliable.

Christian chooses to continue on, with only Pliable joining him.

It’s unsurprising that the first challenge they meet is the Slough of Despond (aka the Swamp of Despair). Christian begins to sink under the weight of his burden, and while Pliable manages to get out, he abandons Christian to his fate. Struggling to free himself, Christian is finally pulled from the swamp by Help, who had heard his cries.

We often feel exactly the same way. We start moving in a direction we want to travel, but can quickly find ourselves falling into despair that the choices we had made previously will stop us from achieving happiness, and we’ll fall before finding the what we want and need in our life.
­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­
So, how do we get rid of this?

I’m glad you asked.

Next week, Mike shares two steps that were the integral factors in allowing him to change his life. If you missed the show, click here to watch.

 

MIKE M - THIS ONEGot a question for Mike? Send it to us via inbox on The Swirl World’s Facebook page or by email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Follow Mike on Twitter @500and50 and read his blog at 500and50.com, or message him on his 500and50 Facebook page.

Copyright © 2014 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved. Photo by ©John Miocevich used with permission.

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Filed Under: Mondays With Mike, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: broadcast, bullied, change, drastic, epiphany, Michael Miocevich, Mike, Mondays With Mike, television show

How To Change Your Life – And End Up On a National Television Show!

May 20, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 3 Comments

keep-calm-and-marry-an-aussie-3

Good grief! We’ve been on pins and needles – sitting on this news for about a month now and biting our nails in anticipation of sharing it:

Guess what???

Our man Mike In Australia (Michael Miocevich) was on a national television show – talking about SWIRLING!!!

*Jumping up and down*

We were certainly excited that Mike – OUR Mike – received this national coverage and attention.

Seems the producer planned to do a show on Swirling In Australia (later entitled “Dating Race”). She conducted some online searches to find men in Australia who preferred Black women.

Well, we’ve been doing “Monday’s With Mike” for some months now, so guess who she found???

Yeppers!

Out of ALL the men in Australia, she found OUR Mike.

OUR. Mike!

Woot Woot!

One of the things we strive to do in The Swirl World is build relationships. We practice good blogging netiquette and we believe in crediting our sources, both here and on our Facebook page.

We don’t bash –preferring instead to uplift and support.

Particularly special to us is the fact that in some small way, we are making a difference and changing lives – one person at a time.

But enough of the self-congratulations. We’ll let Mike tell you about his experience.

This excerpt is Part 1 – we have more to come!

Mike says:

“So, about a month ago I get a message from Elise Potaka, producer for SBS TV Australia (one of two public national broadcasters, which is bigger than you might think here in Oz), to talk to her about interracial dating, my history of it, ideas and opinions, etc.

Not a problem, I thought; I am more than happy to help anyone who is interested.

Turns out they were looking to do a TV show about it, and got all kinds of information from me about the Swirling community and my life as a Swirler.

Then came the hard question: They wanted to fly me out to the show to be in the audience!

Now this is the part that shocked me. I’ve never been given any kind of opportunity like this before.

To be flown across the country and put up at a hotel and then be on a national TV show?

Unimaginable. So I was nervous. And very hesitant.

You see, for a lot of my life I’ve felt like an outsider – to friends, family, people I meet.

I often don’t feel comfortable around them. I was very much worried about how I might come across for the show.

But then I had to follow the logic of the situation.

I had been invited on because I have been making steps towards a better life. I had taken the chance when I first contacted The Swirl World via Facebook.

I’d done so again when they got me to do a bit of a write-up about myself. Then again when they had me do “Monday’s with Mike,” and again when encouraging me to start my own writing blog.

After that much love and encouragement, I couldn’t let them down.

I couldn’t let myself down.

So I took the chance. And I am so thankful I did! I now feel more comfortable about who I am in my life than I ever have. I stood up for who I am and what I believe – and I felt stronger for it.

I have a lot of big plans I want to make happen, and a lot of changes I want to make in my life before I get to where I want to be, Taking this step has brought a lot of that closer.

So if I have one piece of advice to offer it’s this – If you see an opportunity and you’re hesitant because you worry what others might think or say, don’t be.

Take the leap of faith and go for it, because the rewards in confidence and self-esteem will likely outweigh any physical things you get from it.

Each step you take in the right direction will open new doors and new opportunities. Trust in yourself and step through them. When you look back, you’ll be amazed at the difference it has made!

Cheers,

Mike

 

To watch the show (and gain an interesting perspective on interracial dating in Australia – plus some delicious accents) – click here.

Mike networked with some of the people on the show and we hope to have some future posts featuring the other guests.

Whew! We can’t wait to see what happens with Mike’s continuing metamorphosis.

Stay tuned for more!

MIKE M - THIS ONEGot a question for Michael Miocevich? Send it to us via inbox on The Swirl World’s Facebook page or by email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Follow Mike on Twitter @500and50 and read his blog at 500and50.com, or message him on his 500and50 Facebook page.

Copyright © 2014 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

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Filed Under: Announcements, Mondays With Mike, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: Aussie, Australia, Black, Black women, Black. White, change, change your life, dating, Dating Race, Elise Potaka, Facebook, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, interracial romance, metamorphosis, Michael Miocevich, Mike, Mondays With Mike, netiquette, Relationships, SBS TV Australia, special, swirling

Is A Baby In Mike’s Future??

December 9, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 4 Comments

big camera hides mans faceLast week we kicked off our Mondays With Mike series and introduced you to writer and blogger Michael Miocevich (My-oh-see-vitch), a native of Western Australia who is now our guide to Swirling in Australia.

(Mike also lends us his brain and lets us pick it at will).

In his first post Mike received three questions, one of which was to tell his idea of a fun date.

Whelp, Mike’s response generated this follow-up question from a fan on our Facebook page:

“I wonder how Mike feels about women with children?  Is that deal breaker? It seemed like his perfect date would be for a women with no children and free time to spend a whole day (not knocking it but I have two boys who come first). I just wonder if this isn’t even considered when looking for a mate . . .  Sorry I’m soap boxing :: steps down::”

This is quite a legitimate question, particularly because dating with children is a reality for millions of singles. I forwarded the question to Mike as fast as my little fingers could type it.

So, hmm . . . . Is a baby in Mike’s future?? What followed is Part 1 of his very thoughtful response:

CRYING BABY BOY 1

“This can be an interesting but also sometimes a hard topic to talk about. Some men can be rather apprehensive, as often while they can relate to the woman they are dating, they might feel a gulf between them and her children. This is more a psychological barrier than anything. The man doesn’t know exactly what role he should play, and also might worry about the notion that he might be seen as someone who is supplanting the child’s biological father. This can be rather conflicting, and I have seen marriages being broken up early due to the intervention of kids vs their parents new husband/wife. I have seen this both in relationships of divorced men and divorced women, so there is no finger of blame being pointed here. If this is noticed early on, with the children not getting along with the new partner, it really does need to be addressed as soon as possible.

Other times it can be the wrong thought for men that if they were to date a woman who has children from another relationship, that immediately they would be expected to provide for those children as well, when what they want is freedom and fun to develop a relationship with someone who is unattached or has no children. This is a rather selfish way to go through things in life, always wondering what people are trying to get from you. Often the women who these men could date and have children already are quite used to providing for their children, and aren’t expecting their new beau to walk in and be immediately put on the spot for financial help. It would be my hope that if a person did date and fall in love with someone who has children, that they would offer to help out as a gesture of love. It says he cares for you and your children, even though they aren’t his biologically. A man is going to have to face up to this eventually, so if he doesn’t think he can manage it, he’s better off not stringing someone along, thinking that he’ll eventually come around to it.

So where do I stand in all of this? I’m 38, so I am kind of on the fence in regards to starting a family with someone I meet. On the one hand I might have left it too long, as I’d like to be the kind of guy who spends times with his children and is active with them, rather than being too tired after working to do so, and leave them to be raised by the TV. On the other hand, who says that this should be the case? If I were to meet the right person, why couldn’t my life be structured to have a decent job, but time available to spend with my wife and children? These are questions that can really only be properly sorted out once I have met that special person who is right for me. It’s got to be a joint decision. Trying to plan out things exactly how you want them to happen is an exercise in futility. Better to have broad plans that move you forward and are able to accommodate any curve balls thrown your way.

As for dating women who already have children, I don’t see why not! If we are lucky enough to make a connection with someone who excites us, challenges us, is great to be with and who you don’t know if you could be without, I don’t see why them having children would be such a barrier to having a relationship with them. The above preconception is something a lot of people automatically make as they have no experience of such situations. I would be prone to them myself as I have only dated women who were previously single and without children. To be honest perhaps I was too limited in my view of what a fun date would be because of it. Another limitation is that my place isn’t that huge, so dating a woman who has children and is looking to emigrate to Australia might be a touch difficult as I don’t have a lot of space for more than one other person. This is likely to be something which changes in the future, but at the moment it is likely to be a factor. However, as with all things, any problems will have a solution.

In which case a date with a women who has children might involve a day at the museum (the American Museum of Natural History is absolutely fantastic and I could have spent days there when I was in NYC) or a visit to a park for a picnic. If we go to a park I am going to have to pack a cricket bat and ball so we can have a hit before lunch (yes, I am going to hold on to my Australian sporting identity darnit!). A nice lunch and a walk around the park while the kids go roughhousing nearby. Pack it all up and head to the movies (at a cinema or at home) for something light-hearted and pants-wettingly funny, or even do so at home on the couch. If I have been dating the woman for some time, then reading the kids a story before bedtime, or even make up one of my own for them would be really cool. Then the rest of the evening can be spent talking and being together on the couch, conversations of everything and nothing, and sweet kisses before parting.”

Stay tuned for Part 2, where Mike gives us insight into what a man thinks when he considers dating a woman with children.

MIKE MIOCEVICHGot questions for Mike? Send them to us via inbox on Facebook or email them to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Follow Mike on Twitter @500and50, read his blog at 500and50.com, or message him on Facebook.

Join in the Fray: What are your thoughts on dating someone with children?

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

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Filed Under: Mondays With Mike, Special Tagged With: Australia, babies, baby, Black women, Black. White, Blog, blogger, child, children, dating, deal breaker, Facebook, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, love, Michael, Michael Miocevich, Mondays With Mike, swirling, Western Australia, white

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Welcome!

I’m Michelle Matthews-Calloway, and I’m A Swirl Girl! Greetings to you from The Swirl World. We encourage Black women to expand their relationship options by dating and marrying interracially. Our overarching mission is to see Black Women live their best life. Come Swirl with us in The Swirl World™, where we celebrate Black women and the diverse men who love us!™

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