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The Swirl World

Celebrating and Elevating Black Women - mind, body, soul and spirit!


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How To Change Your Life – Part 2

June 5, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway Leave a Comment

Perth Western Australia

Stagnant? Afraid? In a rut?

In this week’s post, Mike shares the “How To” steps he used and is using to change his life.

Mike says:

Step One

First, ask for help if you need it. Here at the Swirl World we are more than happy to help you out. Michelle and Adrienne have done as much for me, and I will try my best to help anyone who asks for it.

It’s easier for a person standing on solid ground to help someone out of a swamp than you pulling yourself up by your will alone. Often the people helping you up are people just like you – they know what being trapped feels like. They know the way to get out, and accepting their help is no weakness.

Step Two

Secondly, we’ve got to be open to forgiveness. Forgiveness, not only just for those who have hurt us in the past or who may even be hurting us in the present, but also forgiveness for ourselves.

You are a human being, so you’ve made mistakes. We all do. But let’s not let the mistakes of our past crush our futures. If you keep carrying that burden, when you hit hard trials the burden is likely to pull you down further than if you had left it behind.

Focusing constantly on what you think you have done wrong and how it has brought you to your present state isn’t going to do anything to help you do things right in the future. Instead, you’ll remain stuck in the swamp.

Step Three

 Make a conscious decision to move past any shame. The shame we feel because of our previous choices can even make us believe that we deserve to be stuck where we are.

It’s a vicious cycle: Shame makes you feel you deserve to be where you are, this crippling belief renders you unlikely to call out for help, and you wind up staying where you are, even when help is available – the help that will be freely given and enable you to get back on solid ground.

Do This For Me

I’d like to get you to do something real quick. Imagine all your troubles as being that same burden. All those life decisions you made, missed opportunities, fear that you’ve missed your chance, or that you’ll never be able to get where you want to be in life.

Put them all in a big, heavy pack in your mind and feel its weight on your shoulders. Pretty heavy, huh? Makes it kind of hard to move and change your direction doesn’t it?

Now imagine a hole opening up behind you, and the pack suddenly falling from your back and being swallowed up and sealed, never to hold you down again.

All your worries, troubles and misapprehension for the future has now been taken off you. That’s forgiveness.

It means we get to begin again, at any stage, and take the opportunities given to us.

Choose To Move Forward

Swirling is going to be daunting to a lot of people, and lots will feel weighed down by the things that have happened previously. Don’t let it. Take this moment to stop, consider where you are, and drop all the negativity that impedes you.

It is never too late to make a change, and you are always better off leaving it behind and choosing a better path in life. I know I have, and I invite you to join me.

Cheers,

Mike

—————————-

In Case You Missed It

Click here to view Mike’s recent appearance on an Australian national television show.

Click here to read Part One.

MIKE M - THIS ONEGot a question for Mike? Send it to us via inbox on The Swirl World’s Facebook page or by email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Follow Mike on Twitter @500and50 and read his blog at 500and50.com, or message him on his 500and50 Facebook page.

Copyright © 2014 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved. Photo by ©John Miocevich used with permission.

 

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Filed Under: Mondays With Mike, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: Australia, Black women, Black. White, change, free, freedom, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, lifestyle change, Mike, Mondays With Mike, swirl, swirling, television show, white

Mike’s Advice On How To Change Your Life – Part 1

May 28, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 2 Comments

Cottesloe Beach, Perth, Western Australia. Photo courtesy of  ©John Miocevich

Cottesloe Beach, Perth, Western Australia. Photo courtesy of ©John Miocevich

So last week we shared the good news that our guy Mike in Australia appeared on a national television show and experienced an epiphany that changed his life – and all because of his connections to The Swirl World.

(See what Swirling will do for you? We’re just saying.)

One of the things we find so gratifying about publishing this blog is the fact that we know we are making a difference and changing people’s lives – and we have the emails, Facebook in-boxes, letters and comments to prove it.

He’s been on a journey of personal discovery, our Mike, and he is kind enough – and humble enough, we might add – to share it with us.

He’s a jewel in more ways than one, our Mike, not only because he’s willing to share his journey but because he’s also able to articulate it – and we are the better for this personal insight.

Mike’s life has changed – shifted – in a profound way. Read Mike’s post to learn more about what’s happening as a result of the shift.

Mike says:

You might wake up one day, set to change your life and how you live it, only to find yourself worried that you’ve completely messed it up, and worse it’s too late to do anything about it.

Standing amongst the rubble of plans you had for yourself, where you thought you would be in life and who you would be with, you might wonder “How did I get here?” What’s worse is that not only does that hit you, but then the next question will be “How do I get out?!?”

I’ve often felt like that.

I was bullied quite a lot during my school years, and it left an indelible mark on me, so much that I don’t think I have lived life as full as I could have.

Breaking out of that cage has been more freeing than anything I have experienced before. But now, even though I have done so, the world can still look quite daunting.

If you feel the same, and if, like me, you’re starting out again at any stage in life, you might find it hard to see a way out.

You carry a burden of what you think are mistakes and failures, and believe that life is going to be really hard to sort out from here.

But that’s not true.

One of the great works of literature is John Bunyan’s allegorical masterpiece, “Pilgrim’s Progress.” After deciding to change his life, the protagonist Christian, burdened by the weight of the choices he has made in life, sets out to escape the City of Destruction to travel to the Celestial City.

Two town members try to get him to change his mind, Obstinate and Pliable.

Christian chooses to continue on, with only Pliable joining him.

It’s unsurprising that the first challenge they meet is the Slough of Despond (aka the Swamp of Despair). Christian begins to sink under the weight of his burden, and while Pliable manages to get out, he abandons Christian to his fate. Struggling to free himself, Christian is finally pulled from the swamp by Help, who had heard his cries.

We often feel exactly the same way. We start moving in a direction we want to travel, but can quickly find ourselves falling into despair that the choices we had made previously will stop us from achieving happiness, and we’ll fall before finding the what we want and need in our life.
­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­
So, how do we get rid of this?

I’m glad you asked.

Next week, Mike shares two steps that were the integral factors in allowing him to change his life. If you missed the show, click here to watch.

 

MIKE M - THIS ONEGot a question for Mike? Send it to us via inbox on The Swirl World’s Facebook page or by email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Follow Mike on Twitter @500and50 and read his blog at 500and50.com, or message him on his 500and50 Facebook page.

Copyright © 2014 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved. Photo by ©John Miocevich used with permission.

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Filed Under: Mondays With Mike, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: broadcast, bullied, change, drastic, epiphany, Michael Miocevich, Mike, Mondays With Mike, television show

How To Change Your Life – And End Up On a National Television Show!

May 20, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 3 Comments

keep-calm-and-marry-an-aussie-3

Good grief! We’ve been on pins and needles – sitting on this news for about a month now and biting our nails in anticipation of sharing it:

Guess what???

Our man Mike In Australia (Michael Miocevich) was on a national television show – talking about SWIRLING!!!

*Jumping up and down*

We were certainly excited that Mike – OUR Mike – received this national coverage and attention.

Seems the producer planned to do a show on Swirling In Australia (later entitled “Dating Race”). She conducted some online searches to find men in Australia who preferred Black women.

Well, we’ve been doing “Monday’s With Mike” for some months now, so guess who she found???

Yeppers!

Out of ALL the men in Australia, she found OUR Mike.

OUR. Mike!

Woot Woot!

One of the things we strive to do in The Swirl World is build relationships. We practice good blogging netiquette and we believe in crediting our sources, both here and on our Facebook page.

We don’t bash –preferring instead to uplift and support.

Particularly special to us is the fact that in some small way, we are making a difference and changing lives – one person at a time.

But enough of the self-congratulations. We’ll let Mike tell you about his experience.

This excerpt is Part 1 – we have more to come!

Mike says:

“So, about a month ago I get a message from Elise Potaka, producer for SBS TV Australia (one of two public national broadcasters, which is bigger than you might think here in Oz), to talk to her about interracial dating, my history of it, ideas and opinions, etc.

Not a problem, I thought; I am more than happy to help anyone who is interested.

Turns out they were looking to do a TV show about it, and got all kinds of information from me about the Swirling community and my life as a Swirler.

Then came the hard question: They wanted to fly me out to the show to be in the audience!

Now this is the part that shocked me. I’ve never been given any kind of opportunity like this before.

To be flown across the country and put up at a hotel and then be on a national TV show?

Unimaginable. So I was nervous. And very hesitant.

You see, for a lot of my life I’ve felt like an outsider – to friends, family, people I meet.

I often don’t feel comfortable around them. I was very much worried about how I might come across for the show.

But then I had to follow the logic of the situation.

I had been invited on because I have been making steps towards a better life. I had taken the chance when I first contacted The Swirl World via Facebook.

I’d done so again when they got me to do a bit of a write-up about myself. Then again when they had me do “Monday’s with Mike,” and again when encouraging me to start my own writing blog.

After that much love and encouragement, I couldn’t let them down.

I couldn’t let myself down.

So I took the chance. And I am so thankful I did! I now feel more comfortable about who I am in my life than I ever have. I stood up for who I am and what I believe – and I felt stronger for it.

I have a lot of big plans I want to make happen, and a lot of changes I want to make in my life before I get to where I want to be, Taking this step has brought a lot of that closer.

So if I have one piece of advice to offer it’s this – If you see an opportunity and you’re hesitant because you worry what others might think or say, don’t be.

Take the leap of faith and go for it, because the rewards in confidence and self-esteem will likely outweigh any physical things you get from it.

Each step you take in the right direction will open new doors and new opportunities. Trust in yourself and step through them. When you look back, you’ll be amazed at the difference it has made!

Cheers,

Mike

 

To watch the show (and gain an interesting perspective on interracial dating in Australia – plus some delicious accents) – click here.

Mike networked with some of the people on the show and we hope to have some future posts featuring the other guests.

Whew! We can’t wait to see what happens with Mike’s continuing metamorphosis.

Stay tuned for more!

MIKE M - THIS ONEGot a question for Michael Miocevich? Send it to us via inbox on The Swirl World’s Facebook page or by email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Follow Mike on Twitter @500and50 and read his blog at 500and50.com, or message him on his 500and50 Facebook page.

Copyright © 2014 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

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Filed Under: Announcements, Mondays With Mike, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: Aussie, Australia, Black, Black women, Black. White, change, change your life, dating, Dating Race, Elise Potaka, Facebook, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, interracial romance, metamorphosis, Michael Miocevich, Mike, Mondays With Mike, netiquette, Relationships, SBS TV Australia, special, swirling

Mondays With Mike: Why I Celebrate Black Women In Poetry (Part 2)

March 17, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 2 Comments

So last week on Mondays With Mike, our favorite Aussie shared a beautiful poem penned to (and for) his muse, @MissLJay20.

Mike's Muse

Today, Mike gives us the details on why he celebrates Black Women in poetry (and is inspired by his Muse):

Why I Celebrate Black Women In Poetry

All artists need a Muse, a source of inspiration, something which sets their spirits aflame, ignites their senses. Something to make them feel that if they don’t attempt to honour that beauty and majesty their soul will burst from trying to keep it all in.

It may seem strange but it’s just the way my Muse works. I don’t think I am alone in feeling like this. I think it’s the soul of all creativity.

Why Black Women In Particular?

So what is it that makes me filled with inspiration to write poetry for Black Women? Why Black Women in particular? Because my Muse moves when I see Black Women, when I hear them, when I appreciate them on all levels, I am always entranced.

I have to celebrate Black Women; my Muse guides my hands in doing so, and I love being able to communicate what I feel in what I write. If I wish to write and write well, I need my source of inspiration, and my Muse requires her due, which I am more than willing to give.

MissLJay20 7

Luckily this has been easy of late. My Muse is beautiful, gives me so much inspiration to write, so much passion and energy that sometimes I don’t know if I will ever be able to pay it back in kind. I try my best and I am forever grateful for the gifts bestowed.

MISSLJAY20 4

And Now, My Heart Is Open

I once thought that I should guard myself closely, be closed off and wary, worried of possible heartaches and troubles, but I am now looking more and more towards being open-hearted and looking for the possible in all things, to be thankful in finding it, and rejoicing in the happiness of it.

I won’t question why I should be so lucky so I don’t spoil it, but instead be gracious, thankful and appreciative in having received it, and trying my best to honour the gift I have been given.

And that is what has inspired my latest poem, and I hope it conveys that as best as can be said.

Cheers!

 

We have to say, @MissLJay20 is a beautiful Black Woman – and Mike is blessed to have her as his Muse!

Join in the Fray: Who or what inspires YOU?

MIKE M - THIS ONEGot a question for Mike? Send it to us via inbox on The Swirl World’s Facebook page or by email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Follow Mike on Twitter @500and50 read his blog at 500and50.com, or message him on his 500and50 Facebook page.

 

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

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Filed Under: BW/WM, Mondays With Mike, Series, Uncategorized Tagged With: Aussie, Australian, Black women, Black. White, creative, creativity, dating, inspiration, inspire, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, love, Mike, Mondays With Mike, muse, poem, poetry, swirl, swirling, Twitter, white

Mondays With Mike: “Why I Celebrate Black Women In Poetry “

March 10, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway Leave a Comment

Mondays With Mike is BACK!

Our guy Mike in Australia has been on a bit of a hiatus since he took a new job. He’s a sensitive soul, Mike is, and he’s a poet.

His muse is a beautiful Black Woman whose Twitter handle is @MissLJay20.

Mike's Muse

Mike wrote a poem for her and shared it with us:

Just one word and I’m over the edge,
Falling from the walls of isolation,
Into the abyss so open and inviting,
Calling your name on the spiral down.

I once held on for dear life to it,
Clutching my fears with bloodied fingers,
Bruised and scraped my way to a higher loft,
And saw to lock myself away in a gilded cage.

But the merest whispers of your words sang,
And the locks and chains broke away,
So easily the walls did fall,
Did they even exist?

So now I descend freely into the space,
And a song of a thousand voices bear me aloft,
To fall with the weight of a feather,
Burning heart into the arms of an Angel.

We love it!

Stay tuned; next week in Part 2, Mike goes into detail about why he celebrates Black Women in his poetry.

MIKE M - THIS ONEGot a question for Mike? Send it to us via inbox on The Swirl World’s Facebook page or by email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Follow Mike on Twitter @500and50 read his blog at 500and50.com, or message him on his 500and50 Facebook page.

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

 

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Filed Under: Mondays With Mike, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: @MissLJ20, Australia, Australian men, Black women, Black. White, celebrate, celebration, dating, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, interracial romance, Mondays With Mike, muse, Perth, poem, poetry, swirl, swirling, white

Can A Black Woman Find A HUSBAND In Australia?

February 3, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 2 Comments

Mondays With Mike has been on a brief hiatus while our long-haired Aussie battled a combination of sinus, allergies and the blazing Australian heat.

(Yes, with the U.S. grappling with a Polar Vortex, Mike and other Australians have been baking in a heat wave. Go figure!)

We received this question in our inbox and forwarded it to Mike: 

coupleWhat would be your opinion on how an American Black Woman would fare in your country? Our ladies want to get married, they do not want just a boyfriend, they want a husband. They want children with the father’s last name and a man who wants to love and protect them. They want the traditional provider, with the caveat that she will move heaven and earth to assist and love the man she is with.

 

Mike’s response:

How would an American Black Woman fare in Australia?

This is a difficult one to answer. It comes down to a variety of reasons. First of all it’s not a cheap place to visit, especially at the moment. That can hamper things quite a bit, as a lot of guys really do want to meet people before they commit to someone.

On the other hand, that shouldn’t stop people. Meeting and chatting via the internet can be a good meeting method, and lead to people traveling to meet in other countries.

Coming over here not having made contact with any Australians beforehand and looking for love is a much riskier prospect, as it would be both expensive, and not always guaranteed to end up in a relationship that leads to marriage.

I’d recommend the former – to make contact via website and go from there. Skype is free, email is cheap, so it’s not hard to go from there.

A Husband – Not Just A Boyfriend

As for wanting husbands instead of just boyfriends, that can be a whole different kettle of fish.

I think it’s likely to be the same everywhere. Some people just want a relationship; others are ready, right now, to commit. I would like to think that Aussie men will do people right, and be forthright with their intentions, but this is not always the case.

I’d say if you do the groundwork and find someone you can connect with, and feelings develop, take the leap. If you’re genuine and want someone to spend your life with, and think you have found that, it’s very reassuring for men.

I think Australian men like women from the U.S. a lot as they’re less ‘flakey’ than Aussie girls can be sometimes. And from what I have heard is that Black Women are very loyal to their men, and that is always something which is good to know as well, as a lot of guys over here worry about how long a term their marriage will be.

Men In Australia

There are a lot of guys who see themselves as the provider type, but as the economies change, it’s often that both partners in the relationship will work.

Urban professionals would likely be the more likely target, as they are more likely to have a well-paying job, regular working hours, and be home most nights of the week and weekends.

This means most major cities, with more of focus on eastern coast cities of Melbourne and Sydney, or if he works for the government, Canberra.

In Perth most of the work focus is towards the mining and gas industry which is located in the state.

Of course every man is different, and there is a host of different jobs that need to be done, so I can’t exactly predict who the best person to go for is.

There are plenty of blokes who love sports, love going out to pubs and clubs to hang out and talk with friends (taking their wives and girlfriends with them), and enjoy a lot of outdoor activities.

We’re all different, so I can’t really pin point a guy down. It’s usually pretty easy to determine who is insincere and who isn’t. Talk about marriage and you find out pretty quickly I find!

Cheers!

Join in the Fray: How far are you willing to travel for love?

Mike MFollow Mike on Twitter @500and50 and read his blog at 500and50.com, or message him on his 500and50 Facebook page.

Got a question for Mike? Send it to us via inbox on The Swirl World’s Facebook page or by email  to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

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Filed Under: Mondays With Mike, Uncategorized Tagged With: Australia, Black women, Black. White, dating, heat, heat wave, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, interracial romance, Mike, Mondays With Mike, Perth, Polar Vortex, swirling, Sydney, white

Opportunities For Interracial Dating In Australia!

January 6, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway Leave a Comment

big camera hides mans face

It’s 2014, and we’re back with more Mondays With Mike!

We’ve had some questions for Mike come in over the holiday. He’s back, refreshed and ready to tackle the mailbag.

Some ladies are willing to step out of their comfort zone and they’re not opposed to dating internationally.

A reader asks:

What’s the atmosphere like for interracial dating in your city?

Mike’s reply:

We’re very casual about relationships over here. We have a history of immigration from all over the world (my Father’s side is Croatian, and my Mother’s is Scots/Irish), so diversity is a given in all of our cities.

I actually think for all the bluster of the racist elements that seem to get a lot more airtime than they should, a lot of white men like to date women of different ethnicities. We’re all trapped down here on the world’s largest island, no matter where you drive you’re always going to be in Australia, so we love to travel and have new experiences. Lots of white guys I know date Asian women (which is no new thing), but it’s not Asian women exclusively. We love differences and are mostly open-minded.

To be honest I think most of the time you’re free to date who you like. If someone doesn’t like it, that’s their problem, and I am happy to go and tell those people to ‘get stuffed’ and go on my way.

If there was a divide I would have to say it’s likely between the native aboriginal people and white people. That’s more of a divide than dating someone who has emigrated here, due to our history of white settlement of Australia and the shameful way aboriginals have been treated, and continue to do so. It was more confrontational for people to find out I was dating a mixed ethnicity aboriginal girl from Perth than it was when I went out with a girl from Nigeria.

This is how I have known things here in Perth.

Cheers!

Mike

Next week: Mike shares his poetry. Learn how you can get him to write a poem just for you! 

Join in the Fray: Are you willing to travel for love? Why or why not? 

MIKE MIOCEVICH

 

Follow Mike on Twitter @500and50 and read his blog at 500and50.com, or message him on his 500and50 Facebook page.

Got questions for Mike? Send them to us via inbox on Facebook or email them to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

All rights reserved. Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, Dallas, TX, USA. 

 

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Filed Under: Mondays With Mike Tagged With: Australia, Black women, Black. White, comfort zone, dating, international, international dating, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, love, Mike, Mondays With Mike, Perth, poem, poetry, swirling

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

December 25, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 3 Comments

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Merry Christmas to you and yours!

Adrienne and I are on hiatus from the blog and The Swirl World on Facebook until January 6, 2014.

We’ll be back next year with more couples, more stories and more news from our pal Mike in Australia.

We have more foreign connections in the works – more gentlemen who will give us Swirling news from far-flung places including Scotland and New Zealand.

Expect a potpourri of posts designed to inspire, entertain, educate and inform you concerning all things Swirling.

Look for us in 2014 – we’re going to be bigger and better than ever!

Till next year, Swirl on.

Join in the Fray: What are you doing to get your Swirl on during the holidays?

All rights reserved. Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, Dallas, TX, USA.

 

 

 

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Filed Under: Announcements, Special Tagged With: Australia, Black women, Black. White, Christmas, dating, Facebook, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, love, Merry Christmas, Mondays With Mike, New Zeland, Scotland, swirling

We’re Spending Christmas In Australia With Mike!

December 23, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway Leave a Comment

big camera hides mans face

Um, virtually, that is.

Members of The Swirl World can’t be there in person, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have a first-hand view of what Christmas is like in Australia.

In his last post for 2013, Mike answers the question: “What it’s like to spend Christmas in Australia?”

City of Perth Christmas Tree

City of Perth Christmas Tree

Ahh, Christmas, there’s nothing quite like it. Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, yule log burning in the hearth, snowball fights and hearty roasted meals. A time for slogging through cold weather to reach loved ones, and snuggling up together before a warm fire; sleighs and reindeer, and all that wonderful nonsense.

Well put paid to those ideas because in the Southern Hemisphere it’s Summer time, so that means shorts, t-shirts, BBQ’s, beer and sports for Christmas!

PERTH BEACH BOYS

Beach boys: Paul O’Connell, Tommy Bowe and Jonathan Davies strut their stuff at City Beach in Perth. Picture: PA Photo [Source]

There was once a time when Australia felt closest to England, where we tried as hard as we could to emulate their Christmas traditions. So a goose for Christmas, chestnuts, a Yule log (if you were particularly crazy) and a hell of a lot of roast meals. Poor Mums across Australia would have been fainting in the kitchen from all of that heat!

Then as our cultural mix changed, so did our habits. We stopped putting on all the pomp and ceremony, dropped the heavy clobber (clothes) for more utility wear of shorts or jeans and short sleeve shirts, and started eating things more in tune with the season.

Santa still is around in the shopping centres for the kids, but wearing a more loose-fitting lighter red suit. The beard and the hat stays though, so I am sure they’re glad that they’re inside in air-conditioned stores while they work.

Baby, It’s Hot Outside!

This year’s Christmas Day in Perth is going to be 30ºC (86ºF), so you can appreciate why we don’t get as formally dressed up. One year it was 44ºC  (111.2ºF), which was hot enough to kill the spiders which used to hide up on the transparent verandah (patio) roof. Thankfully it was too hot to go outside, but we absolutely baked in the heat. I think the East Coasters are going to cop it this year, according to the forecast, which will be interesting as they are nowhere near as acclimatised to the heat as us West Coasters are.

Mike’s Family Traditions

So Christmas foods for us and traditions have to revolve around things more appropriate for summer. This means BBQ’s and seafood for lunch, cold salads and other dishes, and perhaps a small roast meal in there as well (though not as often as before).

My family’s traditions have changed over the years. Mostly it’s the same as anywhere – We all piled into a car to go visiting relatives, eat far too much food, laugh way too loud before piling back into the car to visit another relative’s house.

Families across Australia usually have people over for lunches and dinner, blokes standing around cooking a BBQ and telling tall tales, the kids playing sports or running around with far too much sugar in them, and the ladies sitting and chatting amongst themselves with a nice glass of wine. We’re often very relaxed as to how it all goes.

No Cash? No Problem!

Often people don’t have a lot of cash to spend on holidays away, and to be honest we don’t really need to go that far. 90% of us live on or near the coast, and that means a ton of parks, beaches and other great free locations to go to for the day.

For those who go to a park or the beach (which often happens as it’s a great time to be out amongst other people), several families who might not know each other will get together to play cricket, kick a football around or go swimming. It becomes a communal event, and a great place to meet new people or just have fun outdoors.

The Yugoslavian traditions we used to have meant that in the year a massive gathering was organised, you could count on the most succulent lamb, and pig slow cooked on a spit that you’ve ever had in your life.

This was when a lot of the extended group used to live out in the Swan Valley area, with massive farm blocks the kids could run wild on, and everyone have a great time just catching up with one another. Unfortunately, due to the war back in the 90’s fracturing the Yugoslavian community (everyone is now Croatian, Serbian, Bosnian, etc.) and the moving away of family members, it’s not really happened as much since. If there is one thing I would like to resurrect, it’s definitely this style of gathering.

A White Christmas? Not!

I’ve always wanted to experience a white Christmas, but I have to say, being able to get around easily, not deal with inclement weather, and to go outside to enjoy the outdoors or have a swim at the beach or play cricket in the park is an absolute joy at Christmas.

There are definitely times when you wish you had a snowball ready to cool yourself or someone else down with, but for the most part it’s a really wonderful time of year to be having a celebration. The closest analogy I can make is our Christmas celebrations would be much akin to the 4th of July celebrations in the USA. Perfect time of year to be getting out and visiting people, eating way too much and generally having a great time.

See You Next Year

I’d just like to say thanks to everyone here at the Swirl World, especially the hosts Michelle and Adrienne, for the wonderful opportunity of being an Ambassador for Australia to you all. You inspire me greatly and have made me feel very warm and welcomed. Wishing the best for all of you and your family’s this year, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you one and all! I’ll be sending warm thoughts out to you from Down Under to keep those winter chills away! Have a great one and I look forward to talking to you all again in the New Year!

Cheers!

Mike

MIKE MIOCEVICHGot questions for Mike? Send them to us via inbox on Facebook or email them to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

We’ll be back January 6, 2014 with more Mondays With Mike!

Follow Mike on Twitter @500and50 and read his blog at 500and50.com, or message him on his 500and50 Facebook page.

 

Join in the Fray: Where are you spending Christmas this year?

All rights reserved. Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, Dallas, TX, USA. 

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Filed Under: Mondays With Mike, Uncategorized Tagged With: Australia, Black women, Black. White, Christmas, Christmas celebration, Christmas dinner, dating, Facebook, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, Mike, Monday, Mondays With Mike

Is A Baby In Mike’s Future??

December 9, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 4 Comments

big camera hides mans faceLast week we kicked off our Mondays With Mike series and introduced you to writer and blogger Michael Miocevich (My-oh-see-vitch), a native of Western Australia who is now our guide to Swirling in Australia.

(Mike also lends us his brain and lets us pick it at will).

In his first post Mike received three questions, one of which was to tell his idea of a fun date.

Whelp, Mike’s response generated this follow-up question from a fan on our Facebook page:

“I wonder how Mike feels about women with children?  Is that deal breaker? It seemed like his perfect date would be for a women with no children and free time to spend a whole day (not knocking it but I have two boys who come first). I just wonder if this isn’t even considered when looking for a mate . . .  Sorry I’m soap boxing :: steps down::”

This is quite a legitimate question, particularly because dating with children is a reality for millions of singles. I forwarded the question to Mike as fast as my little fingers could type it.

So, hmm . . . . Is a baby in Mike’s future?? What followed is Part 1 of his very thoughtful response:

CRYING BABY BOY 1

“This can be an interesting but also sometimes a hard topic to talk about. Some men can be rather apprehensive, as often while they can relate to the woman they are dating, they might feel a gulf between them and her children. This is more a psychological barrier than anything. The man doesn’t know exactly what role he should play, and also might worry about the notion that he might be seen as someone who is supplanting the child’s biological father. This can be rather conflicting, and I have seen marriages being broken up early due to the intervention of kids vs their parents new husband/wife. I have seen this both in relationships of divorced men and divorced women, so there is no finger of blame being pointed here. If this is noticed early on, with the children not getting along with the new partner, it really does need to be addressed as soon as possible.

Other times it can be the wrong thought for men that if they were to date a woman who has children from another relationship, that immediately they would be expected to provide for those children as well, when what they want is freedom and fun to develop a relationship with someone who is unattached or has no children. This is a rather selfish way to go through things in life, always wondering what people are trying to get from you. Often the women who these men could date and have children already are quite used to providing for their children, and aren’t expecting their new beau to walk in and be immediately put on the spot for financial help. It would be my hope that if a person did date and fall in love with someone who has children, that they would offer to help out as a gesture of love. It says he cares for you and your children, even though they aren’t his biologically. A man is going to have to face up to this eventually, so if he doesn’t think he can manage it, he’s better off not stringing someone along, thinking that he’ll eventually come around to it.

So where do I stand in all of this? I’m 38, so I am kind of on the fence in regards to starting a family with someone I meet. On the one hand I might have left it too long, as I’d like to be the kind of guy who spends times with his children and is active with them, rather than being too tired after working to do so, and leave them to be raised by the TV. On the other hand, who says that this should be the case? If I were to meet the right person, why couldn’t my life be structured to have a decent job, but time available to spend with my wife and children? These are questions that can really only be properly sorted out once I have met that special person who is right for me. It’s got to be a joint decision. Trying to plan out things exactly how you want them to happen is an exercise in futility. Better to have broad plans that move you forward and are able to accommodate any curve balls thrown your way.

As for dating women who already have children, I don’t see why not! If we are lucky enough to make a connection with someone who excites us, challenges us, is great to be with and who you don’t know if you could be without, I don’t see why them having children would be such a barrier to having a relationship with them. The above preconception is something a lot of people automatically make as they have no experience of such situations. I would be prone to them myself as I have only dated women who were previously single and without children. To be honest perhaps I was too limited in my view of what a fun date would be because of it. Another limitation is that my place isn’t that huge, so dating a woman who has children and is looking to emigrate to Australia might be a touch difficult as I don’t have a lot of space for more than one other person. This is likely to be something which changes in the future, but at the moment it is likely to be a factor. However, as with all things, any problems will have a solution.

In which case a date with a women who has children might involve a day at the museum (the American Museum of Natural History is absolutely fantastic and I could have spent days there when I was in NYC) or a visit to a park for a picnic. If we go to a park I am going to have to pack a cricket bat and ball so we can have a hit before lunch (yes, I am going to hold on to my Australian sporting identity darnit!). A nice lunch and a walk around the park while the kids go roughhousing nearby. Pack it all up and head to the movies (at a cinema or at home) for something light-hearted and pants-wettingly funny, or even do so at home on the couch. If I have been dating the woman for some time, then reading the kids a story before bedtime, or even make up one of my own for them would be really cool. Then the rest of the evening can be spent talking and being together on the couch, conversations of everything and nothing, and sweet kisses before parting.”

Stay tuned for Part 2, where Mike gives us insight into what a man thinks when he considers dating a woman with children.

MIKE MIOCEVICHGot questions for Mike? Send them to us via inbox on Facebook or email them to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Follow Mike on Twitter @500and50, read his blog at 500and50.com, or message him on Facebook.

Join in the Fray: What are your thoughts on dating someone with children?

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

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Filed Under: Mondays With Mike, Special Tagged With: Australia, babies, baby, Black women, Black. White, Blog, blogger, child, children, dating, deal breaker, Facebook, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, love, Michael, Michael Miocevich, Mondays With Mike, swirling, Western Australia, white

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I’m Michelle Matthews-Calloway, and I’m A Swirl Girl! Greetings to you from The Swirl World. We encourage Black women to expand their relationship options by dating and marrying interracially. Our overarching mission is to see Black Women live their best life. Come Swirl with us in The Swirl World™, where we celebrate Black women and the diverse men who love us!™

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