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The Swirl World

Celebrating and Elevating Black Women - mind, body, soul and spirit!


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Archives for August 2013

Why You Should Stay Tuned . . . .

August 30, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 12 Comments

KeepCalmStudio.com-[Crown]-Keep-Calm-And-Stay-Tuned

You should stay tuned because these two posts are coming next week:

#1 – “This Is My Confession: I’m Addicted”

and . . .

#2 – “I Have An Announcement To Make!”

Keep Calm And Stay Tuned, People!

You don’t want to miss it!

Join in the Fray: Don’t you just hate it when people say they have something to tell you – and then don’t tell you?

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Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

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Filed Under: Announcements, Keep Calm, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: announcement, Black women, Black. White, interracial, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, Keep Calm, secret, stay tuned, swirling, update

Jeff Goins’ “Slow Down” Challenge – Day 5 (Final Day)

August 19, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 1 Comment

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Image courtesy of Stuart Miles – Free Digital Photos

Friday was the last day of Jeff Goins’ “Slow Down” Challenge. I finished the challenge as scheduled, but after a weekend of dinners out and attending the Delcambre Shrimp Festival (more details on that later this week) I’m just getting around to posting the final installment.

This was Friday’s Challenge:

Challenge: Say “thanks” (for everything)

Today, try saying “thank you” for everything.

Say it to your spouse who makes you wait for dinner. Say it to the cashier who moves too slow. Say it to your late lunch appointment or the call center operator who keeps putting you on hold. Say it to God for every inconvenience that causes you to grow.

Say “thank you.” Don’t just think it or tell it to yourself. Actually speak the words — and mean them.

Be grateful for the moments that slow you down, the ones that cause you to take your time. Use these opportunities to appreciate what you already have and tend to miss. As you do, see how much better life looks, and actually is, when you approach it with gratitude.

I’m happy to say this Challenge was particularly easy for me because I long ago began cultivating the habit of saying “Thank you” for just about everything. I do it so often it has become second nature – and I sometimes even feel self-conscious for saying it because some people seem so surprised when they hear those words.

I do my best to maintain “an attitude of gratitude,” although I’ll be the first to admit it isn’t always easy. Nevertheless, I make a conscious effort to push back feelings of self-pity because I don’t want to be that person:

  • The “Debbie Downer” who always sees the glass half empty – and tries to make everyone else see it that way, too
  • The person you hate to ask “How are you doing” because they’ll probably tell you – and it won’t be anything good
  • The Perpetual Complainer who never seems to be satisfied
  • The Total Ingrate

One has to simply flip on the news or check a Twitter or Facebook feed to realize things could always be worse. There are a million-and-one places we could be (dodging bullets and explosions resulting from civil unrest; on the starving end of a famine, in a country where clean – much less running – water is rare, just to name a few).

For the myriad of things that could be wrong with my life, so much of it is right. For all the things that could be better, so much of it is good.

For this, I am grateful.

And I’m happy to say, “Thank you.”

Join in the Fray: What are you grateful for? To whom do you need to say, “Thank you?”

I participated in and blogged about Jeff Goins’ “Slow Down” Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

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Filed Under: Blogging Challenges, Festivals and Events, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black women, Black. White, challenge, dating, famine, give thans, grateful, gratitude, heartache, heartbreak, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, Jeff Goins, slow, slow down, swirling, thank you, thanks, Thanksgiving, war, worry

Jeff Goins’ “Slow Down” Challenge – Day 4

August 15, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 7 Comments

drops of water close up

Ah, interruptions.

Those pesky little things that happen to probably everyone – and of course they happen whether you want them to or not.

Today Jeff talked about interruptions, and asked us to look at them from a different perspective:

Instead of calling interruptions “pesky” (the way I just did!) look at them as opportunities for growth.

This was today’s challenge:

Challenge: Let go

When we try to control everything, when we plan every last minute of the day, we get mad when life throws a wrench into the plans. When the hotwater heater breaks. When your kid gets the flu. When your boss has an unexpected “favor” to ask.

But what if we expected these interruptions? What if we counted on them and decided ahead of time who we were going to be in these instances?

Here’s your challenge:

  1. Decide ahead of time what you will do WHEN you get interrupted today. You don’t have to let everyone steal your time, but choose your response before it happens.
  2. Block out some time to spend with a person who usually interrupts you. Call her just to chat; if this person is local, ask her to lunch.
  3. When an interruption occurs, welcome it. Look for what you can learn from the experience, and don’t get annoyed. Instead, embrace this as a chance to grow.

I decided ahead of time that I was going to smile and try to be as pleasant as I could whenever an interruption came.

A by-product of that decision was being secretly amused by the knowledge that I was, in fact, welcoming interruptions and not viewing them as “pesky.”

It worked great! I had more conversations today, and I believe I laughed even more than I normally do.

cropped black woman face

“Pesky” is good!

Join in the Fray: How do you handle interruptions?

I’m blogging every day this week in Jeff Goins’ “Slow Down” Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

 

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Filed Under: Blogging Challenges, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black women, Black. White, BlogHer, challenge, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interrupt, interruptions, pesky, pest, slow, slow down, swirling

Jeff Goins’ “Slow Down” Challenge – Day 3

August 14, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 1 Comment

big camera hides mans face

I had to chuckle when today’s email for Jeff Goins’ “Slow Down” Challenge entitled “The Myth of Multitasking.”

This was the Challenge:

Challenge: Focus

What if today you stopped trying to fit more things into smaller blocks of time and instead took your time trying to do fewer things? How much better could you do your work and how much more present to it would you be?

That’s what we’re going to do today: we’re going to try to focus. Here’s your assignment:

  1. Pick one task you need to accomplish today; write it down.
  2. Also, list the distractions that stand in your way.
  3. Share your list with one person who can hold you accountable.
  4. As you work, glance at your list and remind yourself what really matters.
  5. Try turning off your phone or other pieces of technology. Leave it in the other room and see how much better your work is when you can focus.

I chuckled because today was an editorial deadline day – two days ago. I’d circled on my August calendar the deadlines from the July issue – and I was two days behind. Here I was thinking Thursday the 15th was my due date when my actual due date was Monday the 12th.

Oops!

Gah!

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Talk about needing to focus!

Thankfully, much of my work was done and only needed fine-tuning, yet I had not even begun one of the biggest writing assignments that was due.

After I got over the initial shock, I set a tight deadline to get it everything completed.

The only way to get it done was to focus.

FOCUS

Jeff’s exercise pretty much fit the way I had to conduct my day if I intended to complete my tasks.

I put my shoulder to the editorial wheel and dug in.

Thankfully, despite a few interruptions here and here, I was able to get it all in.

Whew!

I’d like to think that the principle of focusing – and accompanying success – can be applied to any aspect of our lives.

Want to complete something and do it well?

Focus.

Want a new relationship – or spice up the one you have?

Focus.

Hmmmm . . . .

Join in the Fray: In what areas of your life do you need to focus?

I’m blogging every day this week in Jeff Goins’ “Slow Down” Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

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Filed Under: Blogging Challenges, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black women, Black. White, challenge, complete, dating, deadline, finish, focus, interracial dating, interracial relationships, late, multitask, slow down, swirling

Jeff Goins’ “Slow Down” Challenge – Day 2

August 13, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 2 Comments

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So yesterday I mentioned blogger and author Jeff Goins over at Goins Writer issued a “Slow Down” Challenge.

This is Day 2 of the Challenge. Today’s challenge from Jeff:

Challenge: Savor

Take your time with food today. If you’re the one who cooks in your home, spend more than the minimum amount of time preparing the meal. Slowly cut and cook each ingredient, imagining what they will taste like when blended.

When you eat, chew slowly. Make each bite intentional and deliberate, counting to at least 20 before swallowing. As you do, remember to appreciate and enjoy all the flavors in the food. And above all, remember to smile between bites.

Why This Worked Especially Well For Me

Many of you know that I’ve been doing a “Vegetarian ‘Till 6:00,” which is an adaptation of Mark Bittman’s Vegan Before 6:00. I’d already been trying to make sure I slowed down to eat, taking tiny bites so I could enjoy the flavors of the increased number of fruits and vegetables I’ve been eating.

Yesterday I enjoyed a “Meatless Monday,” and today was no different when I went home for lunch. I didn’t have anything fancy; just a peanut butter and jelly sandwich (I’ve gotten in the habit of eating one almost every day; usually for breakfast).

I deeply inhaled the smell of the peanuts and marvelled at how sweet the jelly smelled. I cut my sandwich on the diagonal, the way I always do. I enjoyed the sensation of the peanut butter sticking to the roof of my mouth – just like I used to do when I was a kid.

I’m reading Six Days by Harlen Coben, and when I “read for lunch” I normally multitask and read while I eat. Today, however, I didn’t pick up my book until after I’d finished eating – and even then, I sat still and just enjoyed the silence for five minutes before starting to read.

Several people came across my consciousness as I sat there in the silence; some experiencing different forms of bereavement, others who anticipated new ventures; my two brothers who have birthdays this month.

I said a prayer for each of them, and asked God to meet them at the point of their need. I experienced a quiet, peaceful lunch and was ready to go back and face the remainder of my work day.

Even now, I sit in quiet contemplation as I type this. I’m savoring a piece of colby-jack cheese  that I placed on a saucer of a set of dishes that my Mother gave me when I moved here.

I’ll admit it: The dishes are not even remotely my taste. Yet they make me smile every time I use them, if for no other reason than the fact that they are so like my Mother and so unlike me – and I’m good with that. 

PINK DISHES 4

I smile, and think about my wonderful, dear Mother.

I savor not only the cheese, but the moment.

Join in the Fray: What moments are you “savoring?”

I’m blogging every day this week in Jeff Goins’ “Slow Down” Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

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Filed Under: Blogging Challenges, Series, Special, Uncategorized, Vegan & Vegetarian Tagged With: Black women, Black. White, challenge, cheese, daughter, interracial, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, Jeff Goins, moment, Mother, plate, savor, slow down

Are You Ready For Some Football?

August 9, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 11 Comments

keep-calm-its-football-season-10

Where my football fans at? LOL!

My Dad is on deck in his chair and he’s parked in front of the television.

He’s been looking a bit forlorn since the end of basketball season; making do with the occasional golf match.

The pre-season games have begun and I tell you, he’s standing tall like a wilted flower that’s just been watered.

I’m ready for some football – first because my Dad and brothers love it so much and second, because I love it so much. Few things provide prime bonding opportunities for a girl and her guy than televised or live sports.

Not only that, sporting events and watch parties can present prime opportunities for Swirling.

Let the games begin! Geaux Saints!

Join in the Fray: What’s your favorite sport and team? Sound off!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: basketball, Black women, Black. White, bond, bonding, dating, football, football season, gals, golf, guys, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, men, New Orleans Saints, sports, swirling, women

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I’m Michelle Matthews-Calloway, and I’m A Swirl Girl! Greetings to you from The Swirl World. We encourage Black women to expand their relationship options by dating and marrying interracially. Our overarching mission is to see Black Women live their best life. Come Swirl with us in The Swirl World™, where we celebrate Black women and the diverse men who love us!™

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