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Archives for February 2014

How To Find A Wife At Church – Even When People Say You Can’t

February 26, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 4 Comments

Despite the seemingly endless barrage of news stories concerning “Church Leaders Gone Wild” (and that shameless, God-forsaken monstrosity of a reality show called “Preachers of LA”), many of us still believe in God.

Not only that, many of us go to churches that make sense and have Pastors who don’t make us ashamed.

Yes, despite the bad rap many individuals receive for going to or actively participating in church, many people still attend and enjoy a vibrant expression of their faith.

And you know what? Many people still DO meet their spouses at church!

In this week’s profile of “Ordinary People  . . . Extraordinary Love,” we’d like you to meet Ian and Evoni Hochstrasser.

Ian and Evoni Hochstrasser enjoyed dating

Ian and Evoni Hochstrasser enjoyed dating

They met – you guessed it – at church!

The Hochstrasser’s took a few minutes to respond to our questions, and share their beautiful story – and family – with us.

Where do you live?

We currently live in Idaho but are both from Oregon and hope to return there!

How long have you been together?

We’ve been together for over 6 1/2 years; married over 5 ½.

When did you know he/she was “The One?”

We knew we were in love when we had some time apart (not broken up; Evoni was away visiting family) and we realized just how much we missed each other and didn’t want to be apart again.

Ian and Evoni Hochstrasser's engagement photo

Ian and Evoni Hochstrasser’s engagement photo

Do you have any children?

We have two children (4 years & 4 months-both girls).

Where did you meet?

We met at a church activity (game night).

What do you like best about your mate?

Evoni: What I like best about my husband is he lets me be me and doesn’t try to change who I am (I’m kinda quirky) but tries to uplift me. He reminds me constantly how much he loves me and how beautiful I am to him (inside and out)!

Ian: What I like best about my wife is she the perfect combination of smart, funny and beautiful.

What advice would you give to others who want to date interracially?

Just love each other and ignore the naysayers (and yes there are still naysayers). Also, never stop laughing together–find the funny in every situation! (Ian and Evoni had the same advice).

An additional question, if you don’t mind: What made your husband approach you as a potential date, and how did he go about it? Was he shy and you let him know you were interested – or was he bold?

Evoni: Initially, we were just instant friends – we enjoyed a lot of the same things and found ourselves spending all our extra time with one another. One night he kissed me (pretty bold for him considering how shy he is!) and the rest is history.

Before the kiss he had said things about how much I meant to him. We had gotten really close fast-he was my best friend.

Ian and Evoni Hochstrasser met at church

Ian and Evoni Hochstrasser met at church

So, how do you find a wife or a husband at church – even when people say you can’t?

Ian and Evoni already told you: “Ignore the naysayers!” 

Till next time, Keep Swirling.

Join in the Fray: Do you believe church is a good place to meet a mate? Why or why not?

All rights reserved. Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, Dallas, TX, USA. Photos used with permission.


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Filed Under: BW/WM, OPEL, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black women, Black. White, children, church, churches, dating advice, engaged, girls, Idaho, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, interracial romance, love, loving, naysayer, Oregon, preachers, swirl, swirling

“I Prayed For A Wife – And God Answered My Prayer!”

February 19, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 6 Comments

“I don’t discuss politics or religion” is a common saying and practice observed by many.

Unfortunately, these two subjects tend to be very polarizing for a vast majority of people.

Christians are often jeered at and ridiculed when they state they are “praying and asking God for a mate.”

In particular, Black Women are derided and called “passive,” “sheeple” and even “brainwashed” when they state they are “believing God” for a mate.

While we certainly believe everyone should be an active participant in his/her life and not sit idly by expecting the Lord to drop a husband or wife in their lap, we applaud people of faith who make God an integral part of their marital quest.

We especially appreciate the fact that in this story of “Ordinary People . . . Extraordinary Love,” the man shares the details of how he prayed for a wife.

Frank and Sandra built their relationship - and their marriage - on prayer

Frank and Sandra built their relationship – and their marriage – on prayer

Regardless of your religious persuasion (or lack thereof), today we share the story of Frank and Sandra “San” Robinson, a couple who are not ashamed to say that they prayed and asked God for a mate, and believe their marriage is the direct result of answers to faith-filled prayers.

Frank and San Robinson - 2013

An interesting side note:  Frank is the author of Letters To a Mixed Race Son (available on Amazon).

Frank and San Robinson - Book Cover

He and his wife San were kind enough to respond to our interview questions and share their sweet story:

Where do you live?

In California.

How long have you been together?

We will be together 30 years in May.

Do you have any children or grandchildren?

Yes, we do. We have 4 children; 2 boys and 2 girls. Three of our children are in their 20s and one is still a teen.
We have one granddaughter. Ember is 2 years old. Ember has a younger (we think) brother on the way.

Update: Since the interview, we asked Frank if Ember’s little brother had arrived. He tells us: Oh yes, 2 weeks ago yesterday (February 17). We just got back from going to meet Coda Zecheriah Robinson. He is beautiful, calm and very alert.

Coda Zecheriah Robinson

Coda Zecheriah Robinson

 

Frank with his two grandchildren, Ember and Coda

Frank with his two grandchildren, Ember and Coda

How did you meet?
Frank says:

I had sincerely decided to become a Christian at age 20 and I spent almost all of my 20s single. I studied, worked and had gone into ministry. When I prayed for a wife I asked for someone who loved God first and would love me second. I waited for years alone.

We met when I went to Alabama to minister at a church there. The pastor asked me to come back and work with him. When I returned, I got to see San as she would go to prayer before she went to work and on her lunch break. So I got to talk with her and started to find out what a humble, lovely and sincere person she is.

One day, like people say, the Lord said, “That is your wife.” As a minister, with much to be considered, I prayed about this because I did not want to make a mistake.

In one of the places where we had an outreach, a man who was involved in an interracial relationship had been decapitated, mutilated and hanged. There were other atrocities merely in the reputation of the South.

Then also, as a minister, I didn’t want to make a wrong move, too much was at stake. I was almost 30 and didn’t want to damage my ministry, or get a reputation as a womanizer, so I prayed, prayed and prayed.

Two different times I asked San if I could ask a question. But I did not know what to say, had to go pray some more. One morning I was painting the church when we spoke before she left. What I did not know was that she had just prayed, “Let something happen today, or take this out of my heart.” I had absolutely no clue.

This was now the third time I asked if I could ask a question. There was a long pause. Finally I asked, “Do you like me?” She responded, “Whoa!” Not knowing what “Whoa!” meant, I thought maybe I was in trouble. So I began to tell San what the Lord put in my heart. She began to tell me about how the Lord had been dealing with her. It was so clear to us that it was more of a question of; When shall we do this? I never had to ask San to marry me, and she did not ask me.

Frank and Sandra Robinson on their wedding day.

Frank and Sandra Robinson on their wedding day.

How did family members respond?

“If anyone in this family marries someone who’s black, it’s going to be YOU. And I don’t want to be babysitting any kids who are going to call me ‘Momma.’”

So my relative told me. But maybe 8 or 9 years later, I married San, so it turns out she was right.

We have been married almost 30 years. She never, ever had to babysit any of them at any time. When one of my kids was small, he’d see her and start screaming. Loudly. She thought we taught him to do that. But no, he did that all on his own. We are always nice to her, and over the years, she may have come around some.

Frank and Sandra almost 30 years later.

Frank and Sandra almost 30 years later.

On the other side, San’s father did not come to our wedding, but it was not long before he warmed up to me. I think he thinks I’m all right.

Of course some, even with all the kindness and time they are given, will not change. But others come around; their paradigms and prejudices are challenged, they figure out some things in themselves and they change and grow.

Frank and San Robinson - Girls

What do you like most about your mate?

Frank:  I love that San is who she says she is, unpretentious, humble. San is real. She has a great sense of humor and good mother sense. She has always been in my corner, supportive, willing to go through good times and hard times. She’s a great wife and a great mother; a beautiful, gentle and kind person. I hit the jackpot!

May I add something I should have said that I like about San? She has these beautiful, gentle, kind, huge doe eyes. She cast those beautiful eyes on me and I think I was done.

Sandra: How protective Frank is of our family, and how after almost 30 years of marriage, he still finds me beautiful.

What advice would you give to others?

San’s advice: 
Find someone who loves God first and loves you second.

Frank’s advice:
Time changes all of us, physical features change, and circumstances change. But the right person will always honor, love you and be faithful to the end. That person is absolutely worth the wait.

Frank and San Robinson - Family Photo

And all the praying people say, “Amen!”

Till next time, Keep Swirling.

Join in the Fray: Are you praying for a mate? Why or why not?

All rights reserved. All work is the copyright of the respective owner, otherwise copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, Dallas, TX, USA. Photos used with permission. Post may contain affiliate links.

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

 

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Filed Under: BW/WM, Mixed Race, OPEL, Uncategorized Tagged With: author, believe, believing, Black women, Black. White, book, dating, Frank Robinson, God, husband, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, interracial romance, Jesus, love, mixed race, pray, Prayer, praying, Sandra Robinson, swirl, swirling, wife

Will You Be Their Valentine? Meet Brandon And Brooklynn!

February 14, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 13 Comments

Here in The Swirl World we’ve been fortunate to have a number of men reach out to us. We receive nice emails and in boxes on our Facebook page from “Rainbeaus” and “Other Brothers” who kindly share their appreciation for our page and for lovely Black Women.

Navy man Brandon Welch, a divorced Dad who’s raising his little girl, is one of those gentlemen.

The Back Story

We first heard from Brandon in November 2012 when he shared a photo of him and his little daughter Brooklynn.

Brandon and Brooklynn 1

Now, Brooklynn is the bees-knees and puts the “A” in ADORABLE and the “C” in CUTENESS, and needless to say everyone fell in love with her at first sight.

(Her Dad is pretty gorgeous too, we might add. Just sayin’.)

Pictures of Brandon and Brooklynn quickly went viral on our Facebook page and other Swirl pages, and they became recurring favorites.

Brandon and Brooklynn 2

We’re so happy that Brandon, who gets deployed from time to time, checks in with us when he’s in port.

He’s extremely patient and very kindly answers our numerous questions.

He’s also a good sport, because he agreed to let us profile him on the blog and on our Facebook page – just in time for Valentine’s Day!

Some Info On Brandon:

Age: 24

Height: 6’1”

Military Branch: Navy

Marital status: Divorced

Brooklynn’s age: 2

Brandon’s parents take care of Brooklynn when he is away.

November 2013 Update

When we heard back from him in late November 2013, he said,

“I have been busy for the most part. We went on deployment a couple of months ago and I’m still not home as of yet. I’m still single and live in Florida. Brooklynn (my daughter) is two now and has been getting spoiled by her grandparents since I have been gone. Not too much has changed for me besides seeing the other side of the world, but it was definitely one for the books. Hope all is well!”

Brandon sent us these photographs of his return and reunion with his daughter. They rank as some of the most popular we’ve ever shared!

Brandon and Brooklynn 5

Oh, The Cuteness and The Sweetness!

Brandon and Brooklynn 6

January 2014 Update 

In January we asked Brandon to give us an update. He said:

“My past year has been full of ups and downs. Getting adjusted to raising my daughter with the help of my parents was something I had to get used to. Brooklynn stayed with them while I was on deployment, and I knew she would be taken care of without worry.

In 2014 I’m planning on spending mostly with Brooklynn since most of 2013 was spent with me being away. I missed seeing her personality and mind develop while I was gone. She’s very opinionated and working on becoming independent even though I tell her she’s not allowed to grow up anymore. Lol!”

Movie Night with Brandon & Brooklynn

Movie Night with Brandon & Brooklynn

Valentine’s Day Update

I’m still single. I would like to date; I’ve always wanted a family . . . .

So this year I definitely want to keep my daughter close and possibly find someone to start a relationship with. Brooklynn is my heart and the only thing I am scared of in this world is something happening to her. She’s my angel . . . .”

Stop The Presses!

Ladies, not only is Brandon single – he’s ready to start dating!

Brandon and Brooklynn 8

Woot Woot!

Of course, you have to know that we stepped up and told Brandon that we’d be happy to help him with his search because, well, we’re just good like that.

Cough, cough.

And of course, you have to know that we’re going to be his big sisters and try to screen the women who show an interest because, well, we’re just super protective like that.

Just sayin’.

We’re excited at the prospect of Brandon finding love and we’re going to do whatever we can to assist him in any way.

Which leads us to . . . .

A Big Announcement!

Remember we told you that we were going to start pod-casting? Well, Brandon has agreed to join us on the podcast!

He’ll be giving us updates on Brooklynn raising him raising Brooklynn, military life and life as a Swirler who is trying to find love.

Woot to the woot, woot, WOOT!

We haven’t hammered out all the details and logistics, so stay tuned.

If you haven’t subscribed to the blog, make sure you do so you don’t miss any updates or announcements concerning the start of the podcast.

*Whispering . . . Just so you know, Brandon has a deep, baritone voice . . . .*

Brandon and Brooklynn 4

Join in the Fray: So, will you be Brandon – and Brooklynn’s – Valentine?

All rights reserved. Copyright © 2014 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, Dallas, TX, USA. Photos used with permission.

ASG 191 x 200 ASwirlGirlWant to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

 

 

 

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Filed Under: Announcements, Brandon and Brooklynn, BW/WM Tagged With: Black women, Black. White, Brandon, Brandon Welch, Brooklynn, dating, divorce, divorced, Florida, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, interracial romance, love, Marriage, military, military family, Navy, parents, podcast, single dad, swirl, swirling, Valentine, Valentine's Day

What Do Australian Men Think Of Black Women And Beauty?

February 10, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 3 Comments

cropped black woman faceThis week’s question on Monday’s With Mike addresses the opinion of Australian men concerning the beauty of Black Women.

“Black Women are constantly bombarded with preset definitions of “beauty” and in many cases criticized for their looks by men of the same ethnicity. What makes a Black Woman attractive/appealing to you in particular, and to Australian men in general?”

Mike’s response:

It’s kind of hard to describe why you feel the attraction to a particular person or people, or describe why you have a type you prefer.

I guess for me it’s something I feel in the marrow of my bones, just an attraction I have always had. If you wanted to go into specifics I think it is likely to do with how whenever I see Black Women, it seems like there is an inner light radiating out of them. I see it come through their eyes and skin, and it’s just beautiful.

It’s also the way they hold themselves; their style and grace. Also, they know how to hold a great conversation I’ve found, and have some excellent perspectives on life different to my own – which is great as it helps me see things in a different light.

For Australian men I think those who want to date BW usually would feel similar; love a BW’s special style of beauty and grace, as well as the fact that you’re different, stand out, and are exotic and mysterious. Men love that, they love to follow and find out things about people from different places, especially Australians as we’re all stuck down here on this massive island with no way to get out except via boat or plane! If you come to us, we’re just that much happier!

Cheers!

MIKE M - THIS ONEGot a question for Mike? Send it to us via inbox on The Swirl World’s Facebook page or by email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Follow Mike on Twitter @500and50 and read his blog at 500and50.com, or message him on his 500and50 Facebook page.

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

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Filed Under: Mondays With Mike, Uncategorized Tagged With: appeal, appealing, attractive, attractiveness, Australia, Australian men, beautiful, beauty, Black women, Black. White, dating, exotic, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, interracial romance, love, Marriage, mysterious, swirl, swirling, white

Can A Black Woman Find A HUSBAND In Australia?

February 3, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 2 Comments

Mondays With Mike has been on a brief hiatus while our long-haired Aussie battled a combination of sinus, allergies and the blazing Australian heat.

(Yes, with the U.S. grappling with a Polar Vortex, Mike and other Australians have been baking in a heat wave. Go figure!)

We received this question in our inbox and forwarded it to Mike: 

coupleWhat would be your opinion on how an American Black Woman would fare in your country? Our ladies want to get married, they do not want just a boyfriend, they want a husband. They want children with the father’s last name and a man who wants to love and protect them. They want the traditional provider, with the caveat that she will move heaven and earth to assist and love the man she is with.

 

Mike’s response:

How would an American Black Woman fare in Australia?

This is a difficult one to answer. It comes down to a variety of reasons. First of all it’s not a cheap place to visit, especially at the moment. That can hamper things quite a bit, as a lot of guys really do want to meet people before they commit to someone.

On the other hand, that shouldn’t stop people. Meeting and chatting via the internet can be a good meeting method, and lead to people traveling to meet in other countries.

Coming over here not having made contact with any Australians beforehand and looking for love is a much riskier prospect, as it would be both expensive, and not always guaranteed to end up in a relationship that leads to marriage.

I’d recommend the former – to make contact via website and go from there. Skype is free, email is cheap, so it’s not hard to go from there.

A Husband – Not Just A Boyfriend

As for wanting husbands instead of just boyfriends, that can be a whole different kettle of fish.

I think it’s likely to be the same everywhere. Some people just want a relationship; others are ready, right now, to commit. I would like to think that Aussie men will do people right, and be forthright with their intentions, but this is not always the case.

I’d say if you do the groundwork and find someone you can connect with, and feelings develop, take the leap. If you’re genuine and want someone to spend your life with, and think you have found that, it’s very reassuring for men.

I think Australian men like women from the U.S. a lot as they’re less ‘flakey’ than Aussie girls can be sometimes. And from what I have heard is that Black Women are very loyal to their men, and that is always something which is good to know as well, as a lot of guys over here worry about how long a term their marriage will be.

Men In Australia

There are a lot of guys who see themselves as the provider type, but as the economies change, it’s often that both partners in the relationship will work.

Urban professionals would likely be the more likely target, as they are more likely to have a well-paying job, regular working hours, and be home most nights of the week and weekends.

This means most major cities, with more of focus on eastern coast cities of Melbourne and Sydney, or if he works for the government, Canberra.

In Perth most of the work focus is towards the mining and gas industry which is located in the state.

Of course every man is different, and there is a host of different jobs that need to be done, so I can’t exactly predict who the best person to go for is.

There are plenty of blokes who love sports, love going out to pubs and clubs to hang out and talk with friends (taking their wives and girlfriends with them), and enjoy a lot of outdoor activities.

We’re all different, so I can’t really pin point a guy down. It’s usually pretty easy to determine who is insincere and who isn’t. Talk about marriage and you find out pretty quickly I find!

Cheers!

Join in the Fray: How far are you willing to travel for love?

Mike MFollow Mike on Twitter @500and50 and read his blog at 500and50.com, or message him on his 500and50 Facebook page.

Got a question for Mike? Send it to us via inbox on The Swirl World’s Facebook page or by email  to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

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Filed Under: Mondays With Mike, Uncategorized Tagged With: Australia, Black women, Black. White, dating, heat, heat wave, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, interracial romance, Mike, Mondays With Mike, Perth, Polar Vortex, swirling, Sydney, white

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Welcome!

I’m Michelle Matthews-Calloway, and I’m A Swirl Girl! Greetings to you from The Swirl World. We encourage Black women to expand their relationship options by dating and marrying interracially. Our overarching mission is to see Black Women live their best life. Come Swirl with us in The Swirl World™, where we celebrate Black women and the diverse men who love us!™

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