praying Archives - The Swirl World

Last week we gave you Part 1 of the story of Brad and Jamaica Miller, an interracial couple who shared their photos with The Swirl World Facebook page.

We enjoy sharing beautiful photos of couples, yet we’re always aware there is a story behind the photo – what were the circumstances bringing this couple get together? Where did they meet? How did they manage to fall in love?

One thing about life and love: Sometimes it doesn’t come wrapped in a pretty package, all neatly tied with a bow.

Sometimes life is convoluted and conflicting, yet somehow it all seems to work out in the end.

Try to remain judgment free.

Jamaica continues:

Who was on the line? My now-husband Brad trying get his Mack on!

He’d seen me at the mall and gotten my number from one of my friends. He proceeded to say, “Hey, didn’t I just see you at the mall?”

Not knowing who the man was, I replied, “No, I’m sure of it. There’s no way.”

He says, “Are you sure?”

When I said yes, he said, “You must have a twin as beautiful as you – she walked right past me in the mall!”

He sent me a friend request on Facebook and was honest about the fact that he was interested in me but my guard was up wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy high from all the hurt and pain I’d been through. I knew he was interested in more, but I told him that I was going through a divorce and could not move forward with anyone until and unless it was final.

Of course in the back of my head I wished I was completely free but I detached myself from Brad and told him we could never be anything more. Right after that, Brad was deployed to Korea.

During the midst of it all I prayed to God and asked, what is this??? Here’s this man who seems really nice and could be all a girl could ever want for a man and husband.

I said this can’t be your work because I’m still married and I know you forbid this behavior. I was seeing all of what Brad was and I prayed that my husband could be that type of man too.

So, even though I was confused as ever, I became even more determined to try to work things out with my husband.

Three months pass by, and then I looked up and a more than a year had passed. In that time my marriage hadn’t gotten any better and my husband was still just going from woman to woman. I was still one foot out the door seeing no nope.

Orders come up that my husband is getting stationed back in Kentucky. I was sad to leave my church home, friends and my sisters. I wanted to stay right there, which I could have done, but my heart I believed God was saying, “Go; just trust me.”

It was then early December 2012, and we were back on the road to Kentucky. We stopped off to visit family in South Carolina.

On December 25 I was in bed crying about how unhappy I was. All I wanted was for my husband to love me – this was the story of my life. It was Christmas and all he had done was leave me behind at the house – again.

Suddenly there was a loud knock at the door. Someone rushed in to tell us my husband had been in a car accident. My heart was racing with mixed feelings – Lord . . . ?

We get to the scene and it was a sight to see: I had been crying about my husband leaving me at home, but if he’d taken me with him, that would’ve been me in the passenger seat – lifeless.

His best friend died on impact. My husband, who was driving, had broken ribs and head trauma. His cousin, who was in the back seat on the right side, had his face cut open.

We were now stuck in South Carolina and traveling back and forth to Fort Jackson. I’m praying, Lord why??? What are you telling me??? All I could hear was “Just trust me.” I instantly thought, ‘Till death do us part,’ and soldiered on.

I nursed my husband back to health, listening to his many cries to the doctors of “Where’s my wife? I need her here!” He was in ICU and the times were limited when I could visit.

One trying month passed. I thought the accident was a sign to keep working at my marriage, but nope. As soon as the doctor cleared him to take it slow and get back to living, he left me at his Mom’s house and took a flight back to Colorado to be with another woman – three days before my 26th birthday.

The texts and lies continued until finally a video of him in the act confirmed it all. I said, “Lord you told me to trust in you, but this can’t be it right?

March came and I couldn’t wait to get home to family. My sisters could tell something was wrong. They know Kentucky isn’t home for me. Even so, I kept saying I was fine.

April came and my husband was seeing yet another woman. I called my sisters in Christ and let them know nothing had changed; they reminded me of the Lord’s vision of marriage. I got what was to be my last phone call from one of my husband’s women and told that woman, “You can have him.” I filed for divorce again, and this time I meant it.

Stay tuned for the final installment in Part 3.

Join In The Fray: Have you ever stayed too long in a dead-end relationship? What finally made you call it quits?

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com.

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“I don’t discuss politics or religion” is a common saying and practice observed by many.

Unfortunately, these two subjects tend to be very polarizing for a vast majority of people.

Christians are often jeered at and ridiculed when they state they are “praying and asking God for a mate.”

In particular, Black Women are derided and called “passive,” “sheeple” and even “brainwashed” when they state they are “believing God” for a mate.

While we certainly believe everyone should be an active participant in his/her life and not sit idly by expecting the Lord to drop a husband or wife in their lap, we applaud people of faith who make God an integral part of their marital quest.

We especially appreciate the fact that in this story of “Ordinary People . . . Extraordinary Love,” the man shares the details of how he prayed for a wife.

Frank and Sandra built their relationship – and their marriage – on prayer

Regardless of your religious persuasion (or lack thereof), today we share the story of Frank and Sandra “San” Robinson, a couple who are not ashamed to say that they prayed and asked God for a mate, and believe their marriage is the direct result of answers to faith-filled prayers.

Frank and San Robinson - 2013

An interesting side note: Frank is the author of Letters To a Mixed Race Son (available on Amazon).

He and his wife San were kind enough to respond to our interview questions and share their sweet story:

Where do you live?

In California.

How long have you been together?

We will be together 30 years in May.

Do you have any children or grandchildren?

Yes, we do. We have 4 children; 2 boys and 2 girls. Three of our children are in their 20s and one is still a teen.
We have one granddaughter. Ember is 2 years old. Ember has a younger (we think) brother on the way.

Update: Since the interview, we asked Frank if Ember’s little brother had arrived. He tells us: Oh yes, 2 weeks ago yesterday (February 17). We just got back from going to meet Coda Zecheriah Robinson. He is beautiful, calm and very alert.

Coda Zecheriah Robinson

Frank with his two grandchildren, Ember and Coda

How did you meet?
Frank says:

I had sincerely decided to become a Christian at age 20 and I spent almost all of my 20s single. I studied, worked and had gone into ministry. When I prayed for a wife I asked for someone who loved God first and would love me second. I waited for years alone.

We met when I went to Alabama to minister at a church there. The pastor asked me to come back and work with him. When I returned, I got to see San as she would go to prayer before she went to work and on her lunch break. So I got to talk with her and started to find out what a humble, lovely and sincere person she is.

One day, like people say, the Lord said, “That is your wife.” As a minister, with much to be considered, I prayed about this because I did not want to make a mistake.

In one of the places where we had an outreach, a man who was involved in an interracial relationship had been decapitated, mutilated and hanged. There were other atrocities merely in the reputation of the South.

Then also, as a minister, I didn’t want to make a wrong move, too much was at stake. I was almost 30 and didn’t want to damage my ministry, or get a reputation as a womanizer, so I prayed, prayed and prayed.

Two different times I asked San if I could ask a question. But I did not know what to say, had to go pray some more. One morning I was painting the church when we spoke before she left. What I did not know was that she had just prayed, “Let something happen today, or take this out of my heart.” I had absolutely no clue.

This was now the third time I asked if I could ask a question. There was a long pause. Finally I asked, “Do you like me?” She responded, “Whoa!” Not knowing what “Whoa!” meant, I thought maybe I was in trouble. So I began to tell San what the Lord put in my heart. She began to tell me about how the Lord had been dealing with her. It was so clear to us that it was more of a question of; When shall we do this? I never had to ask San to marry me, and she did not ask me.

Frank and Sandra Robinson on their wedding day.

How did family members respond?

“If anyone in this family marries someone who’s black, it’s going to be YOU. And I don’t want to be babysitting any kids who are going to call me ‘Momma.’”

So my relative told me. But maybe 8 or 9 years later, I married San, so it turns out she was right.

We have been married almost 30 years. She never, ever had to babysit any of them at any time. When one of my kids was small, he’d see her and start screaming. Loudly. She thought we taught him to do that. But no, he did that all on his own. We are always nice to her, and over the years, she may have come around some.

Frank and Sandra almost 30 years later.

On the other side, San’s father did not come to our wedding, but it was not long before he warmed up to me. I think he thinks I’m all right.

Of course some, even with all the kindness and time they are given, will not change. But others come around; their paradigms and prejudices are challenged, they figure out some things in themselves and they change and grow.

Frank and San Robinson - Girls

What do you like most about your mate?

Frank: I love that San is who she says she is, unpretentious, humble. San is real. She has a great sense of humor and good mother sense. She has always been in my corner, supportive, willing to go through good times and hard times. She’s a great wife and a great mother; a beautiful, gentle and kind person. I hit the jackpot!

May I add something I should have said that I like about San? She has these beautiful, gentle, kind, huge doe eyes. She cast those beautiful eyes on me and I think I was done.

Sandra: How protective Frank is of our family, and how after almost 30 years of marriage, he still finds me beautiful.

What advice would you give to others?

San’s advice:
Find someone who loves God first and loves you second.

Frank’s advice:
Time changes all of us, physical features change, and circumstances change. But the right person will always honor, love you and be faithful to the end. That person is absolutely worth the wait.

Frank and San Robinson - Family Photo

And all the praying people say, “Amen!”

Till next time, Keep Swirling.

Join in the Fray: Are you praying for a mate? Why or why not?

All rights reserved. All work is the copyright of the respective owner, otherwise copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, Dallas, TX, USA. Photos used with permission. Post may contain affiliate links.

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.