“I don’t discuss politics or religion” is a common saying and practice observed by many.
Unfortunately, these two subjects tend to be very polarizing for a vast majority of people.
Christians are often jeered at and ridiculed when they state they are “praying and asking God for a mate.”
In particular, Black Women are derided and called “passive,” “sheeple” and even “brainwashed” when they state they are “believing God” for a mate.
While we certainly believe everyone should be an active participant in his/her life and not sit idly by expecting the Lord to drop a husband or wife in their lap, we applaud people of faith who make God an integral part of their marital quest.
We especially appreciate the fact that in this story of “Ordinary People . . . Extraordinary Love,” the man shares the details of how he prayed for a wife.
Regardless of your religious persuasion (or lack thereof), today we share the story of Frank and Sandra “San” Robinson, a couple who are not ashamed to say that they prayed and asked God for a mate, and believe their marriage is the direct result of answers to faith-filled prayers.
An interesting side note: Frank is the author of Letters To a Mixed Race Son (available on Amazon).
He and his wife San were kind enough to respond to our interview questions and share their sweet story:
Where do you live?
How long have you been together?
We will be together 30 years in May.
Do you have any children or grandchildren?
Yes, we do. We have 4 children; 2 boys and 2 girls. Three of our children are in their 20s and one is still a teen.
We have one granddaughter. Ember is 2 years old. Ember has a younger (we think) brother on the way.
Update: Since the interview, we asked Frank if Ember’s little brother had arrived. He tells us: Oh yes, 2 weeks ago yesterday (February 17). We just got back from going to meet Coda Zecheriah Robinson. He is beautiful, calm and very alert.
How did you meet?
I had sincerely decided to become a Christian at age 20 and I spent almost all of my 20s single. I studied, worked and had gone into ministry. When I prayed for a wife I asked for someone who loved God first and would love me second. I waited for years alone.
We met when I went to Alabama to minister at a church there. The pastor asked me to come back and work with him. When I returned, I got to see San as she would go to prayer before she went to work and on her lunch break. So I got to talk with her and started to find out what a humble, lovely and sincere person she is.
One day, like people say, the Lord said, “That is your wife.” As a minister, with much to be considered, I prayed about this because I did not want to make a mistake.
In one of the places where we had an outreach, a man who was involved in an interracial relationship had been decapitated, mutilated and hanged. There were other atrocities merely in the reputation of the South.
Then also, as a minister, I didn’t want to make a wrong move, too much was at stake. I was almost 30 and didn’t want to damage my ministry, or get a reputation as a womanizer, so I prayed, prayed and prayed.
Two different times I asked San if I could ask a question. But I did not know what to say, had to go pray some more. One morning I was painting the church when we spoke before she left. What I did not know was that she had just prayed, “Let something happen today, or take this out of my heart.” I had absolutely no clue.
This was now the third time I asked if I could ask a question. There was a long pause. Finally I asked, “Do you like me?” She responded, “Whoa!” Not knowing what “Whoa!” meant, I thought maybe I was in trouble. So I began to tell San what the Lord put in my heart. She began to tell me about how the Lord had been dealing with her. It was so clear to us that it was more of a question of; When shall we do this? I never had to ask San to marry me, and she did not ask me.
How did family members respond?
“If anyone in this family marries someone who’s black, it’s going to be YOU. And I don’t want to be babysitting any kids who are going to call me ‘Momma.’”
So my relative told me. But maybe 8 or 9 years later, I married San, so it turns out she was right.
We have been married almost 30 years. She never, ever had to babysit any of them at any time. When one of my kids was small, he’d see her and start screaming. Loudly. She thought we taught him to do that. But no, he did that all on his own. We are always nice to her, and over the years, she may have come around some.
On the other side, San’s father did not come to our wedding, but it was not long before he warmed up to me. I think he thinks I’m all right.
Of course some, even with all the kindness and time they are given, will not change. But others come around; their paradigms and prejudices are challenged, they figure out some things in themselves and they change and grow.
What do you like most about your mate?
Frank: I love that San is who she says she is, unpretentious, humble. San is real. She has a great sense of humor and good mother sense. She has always been in my corner, supportive, willing to go through good times and hard times. She’s a great wife and a great mother; a beautiful, gentle and kind person. I hit the jackpot!
May I add something I should have said that I like about San? She has these beautiful, gentle, kind, huge doe eyes. She cast those beautiful eyes on me and I think I was done.
Sandra: How protective Frank is of our family, and how after almost 30 years of marriage, he still finds me beautiful.
What advice would you give to others?
Find someone who loves God first and loves you second.
Time changes all of us, physical features change, and circumstances change. But the right person will always honor, love you and be faithful to the end. That person is absolutely worth the wait.
And all the praying people say, “Amen!”
Till next time, Keep Swirling.
Join in the Fray: Are you praying for a mate? Why or why not?
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