Writing Archives - The Swirl World

#349| Are You Ready To Get Started?

December 17, 2015 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway Leave a Comment

The New Year is fast approaching and many of you have decided you want to get started on a new venture.

Well, if you’re really ready to get started on that book or blog, amp up your social media presence, and just GET GOING, here’s some good news:

I’m going to be conducting a FREE WEBINAR to help you get on track.

Head on over to Successful Social Strategies and sign up to receive a notice concerning the date and time of the webinar.

You don’t want to miss it!

The Swirl World Team is committed to sharing 365 days of inspiration in 2015. Our goal is to help you stay motivated and inspired by bringing you positive, uplifting images and corresponding thoughts.

We’d love to FEATURE YOU in one of our Inspiration Daily posts! If you’d like to be featured, please send a nice, high-resolution photo to InspirationDaily@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Copyright ©2015 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, The Swirl World Podcast™, The Swirl World Inspiration Daily™, Swirl Nation™, All rights reserved. Photo property of The Swirl World™.

#300| Proud Of Every Step

October 27, 2015 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 5 Comments

The years 2013 and 2014 were tough years for Adrienne and me.

They weren’t tough for us personally, mind you. What was tough about those years was the seemingly constant bombardment of negative press concerning Black women.

Seemingly everywhere we looked a disparaging new article, video, photo or meme referencing Black women had popped up.

These negative images were front and center on Facebook, YouTube, Twitter – every notable digital space.

Fighting Back

We decided to fight back.

If you can’t beat them, don’t join them – beat them at their own game.

We decided to be the difference for Black women that we wanted to see in the digital space.

We decided to push back against the influx of negative images concerning Black women by flooding the digital space with positive and uplifting images of Black women.

Images of real Black women.

Black women living well and enjoying their lives.

Black women in stable, committed relationships with men who love them, appreciate their beauty and who want to be with them.

Black women embracing their natural hair; loving and enjoying their unique textures and coils.

Black women setting and pursuing goals concerning entrepreneurship, academics, travel and fitness.

In other words, images of normal, everyday Black women.

Black women who were just like us.

Proud Of Every Step

We decided to publish these images every day in 2015.

Today is Day 300 of that goal, and we only have 65 left to go before we say goodbye to 2015.

So today, on Day 300, we figured now is as good a time as any to pause and take pride in every step we’ve taken toward this goal.

Despite occasionally getting off in my count, missing a day here or there and doubling up the next day, and fending off crashing computers, I’m proud to say we’ve been consistent in pursuing our goal.

And the benefits have been, well, spectacular.

Talk Back To Us

We’ll share more about our results when we do the end of the year wrap up.

For now, we’d like you to talk back to us and share your thoughts on the Daily Inspiration posts.

Soon, we’ll be sending you a survey giving you the opportunity to give us some feedback.

You don’t have to wait for the survey – feel free to hit the “Reply” button and communicate with us now.

We appreciate every reader – many of them who are non-Black. Thanks so much for your support and encouragement.

Stay tuned and keep reading, because we have so much more to come!

Join in the Fray: What are your thoughts about the Inspiration Daily feature? Talk back to us!

We’d love to FEATURE YOU in one of our Inspiration Daily posts! If you’d like to be featured, please send a nice, clear photo to InspirationDaily@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Guest Post: I Dream Of Traveling

October 8, 2015 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway Leave a Comment

I Had A Dream

For as long as I can remember I’ve also wanted to know what the world looked like outside my Chicago neighborhood. I recall thumbing through the set of encyclopedias (that I had begged my mother to buy) and collecting old National Geographic magazines that the librarian had trashed. To me these items were priceless. They provided me an escape, a glimpse into places that until then I had only heard mentioned on TV or in school. Places that I wanted to visit and experience.

It never dawned on me that the people who were sharing their stories of traveling to these foreign lands didn’t look like me I was too wrapped in the words they used to describe their experiences to notice. I just wanted to be there, somewhere, anywhere besides where I was.

The Dream Resurfaces . . . And Is Deferred

As the years went by my childhood dream of traveling to see the world never faded but they dropped down on my bucket list until 1997, when my then-husband who was serving in the United States Air Force was assigned to Izmir, Turkey. It was then that the opportunity to fulfill that childhood dream had presented itself. While living in Turkey for three years I traveled to the following countries; Germany, Switzerland, Greece, France, UK and Belgium.

After leaving Turkey and returning to the U.S., I hadn’t completely satisfied my appetite for traveling and living abroad. Once again I had to let they dream slide down the priority list while adjusting to life as a single parent and raising my daughters.

Living The Dream

Flash forward 15 years to 2013 and I’m 40 years old, an empty nester, both daughters in college and living on their own, and I’m climbing the corporate ladder in a career that I love. I had been with my current employer for 11 months when I was promoted to a management position in Athens, Greece. After discussing the opportunity with my daughters I graciously accepted and packed my bags for my new home in Athens, Greece.

And what a beautiful home it was!

I rented a penthouse apartment in a beach community called Porto Rafti, just steps away from the beach and about a 20-minute drive outside of Athens where I worked.

I would sit out on my patio with a glass of wine and take in the most amazing views of the Aegean Sea and breathtaking sunrises.

I shopped at the local farmers market and grocery store that was just a 10-minute drive from my apartment. Next door to the market was a flower shop owned by an older gentleman. Every time he saw me at the market he would bring me a bouquet of flowers and talk to me in Greek (which I hadn’t yet mastered).

Immersed In Greek Culture

The locals were very welcoming. My neighbors living in the apartment downstairs were both retired educators who spoke 11 languages between the two of them. When the wife (Mina) would hear me come home from work in the evenings, she would call out to me as I was getting off the elevator to let me know that she had cooked dinner and that there was plenty for me.

When they insisted I joined them they made me feel like I was a member of their family. We would talk for hours – and just let me say that the Greeks know how to entertain!

What would start as a quiet dinner for 3 at 8 o’clock would easily turn into a neighborhood gathering by 10 o’clock. I can still hear the joyous conversations with music and laughter in the background.

Interactive History Lessons

Touring the city was more than just taking in the sights, it was an interactive history lesson that I couldn’t get enough of. Events in history that up until then I had only read about, became real, and I found myself standing at the Temple of Olympian Zeus, at Syntagma Square or the temple of Parthenon and so much more.

I’m Not Done!

I have what I call two tours under my belt and I’m not even close to being done. Living abroad has presented me with so many life experiences that I will never forget. I’ve met some of the kindest people, forged some amazing lifelong friendships and learned some of life’s most valuable lessons.

I recommend stepping outside of your corner of the world – you just might like it!

Rachel Robinson is a Human Resources executive whose job requires extensive travel.

She will be featured in an upcoming podcast.

This is Rachel’s first travel blog for The Swirl World – stay tuned for more!

The One List Everyone Needs To Make

October 5, 2015 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 6 Comments

I couldn’t find the quote online, but I thought I read somewhere, at some point, the notion that “gratitude is just disguised envy.”

Say What??

If indeed that statement was ever made (and I didn’t just manufacture it in my brain), nothing could be further from the truth.

The Gratitude List

Michelle’s recent post on gratitude led to be a bit of online research, some mulling over of things and an urge to talk about what’s come to be a valuable tool for me-The Gratitude List (capitalization intended).

I saw one online post that referred to enumerating things to be grateful for as a “gratitude adjustment” and that’s a term that really resonates with me. Each time I do it, I feel at least a tiny bit better about life.

Full disclosure here: I struggle with depression.

It’s chronic and I think it’s chemical in nature. I’ve had periods of feeling low since before I could put a name to what I am feeling. As I have progressed through adulthood, I’ve developed a toolbox of techniques that have helped me beat back the demons, including meditation, cognitive behavior exercises, working out, maintaining and growing my support system, being spiritual and yes, taking meds.

One of the weapons in the arsenal that has come along relatively recently is the gratitude list. The concept turned up in some self-help literature I was reading, and it was reinforced in a discussion with a buddy of mine over pizza. He has struggled with his own issues, by the way.

Making The List

So here’s what I do, and here’s my suggestion for the one list everyone needs to make. (Full disclosure: I don’t make my list nearly as much I should, or want to. Some days are insanely busy).

(1) Whenever time allows, I hand-write my list. It seems to engrave the message more firmly onto my brain

(2) I begin each point with: “I am so happy and grateful for”…as opposed to stating it once and then listing a bunch of bullet points. Mentioning happiness and gratitude anew each time I list a point links the concept of happiness/gratitude and what I am specifying more firmly.

(3) I really try hard for specifics, so that I’m not stating the same generalities over and over. Instead of “I am so happy and grateful for a loving and supportive partner,” how about “I am happy and grateful for a partner so loving that she made me stuffed green peppers (one of my favorites) for dinner after hearing that I had a lousy day at work.”

(4). Have a little fun with it, be silly. “I am so happy and grateful that for once, the guy in the next cubicle who smacks his lips while eating went to the break room instead of eating lunch at his desk. Peace and quiet and no feeling like I am next door to a pig feeding at a trough! (Hint: don’t show this to your co-worker).

It Works!

And it works. Last week I had one of those “worst days ever.” Hellish commute, forgot my lunch, mini-confrontation with a supervisor (no punches were thrown) and didn’t have time to make it to the gym. Time to make a gratitude list! And it really helped, along with a mini-meditation as I sat in my car before pulling out of the parking garage.

Join in the Fray: How do you express your gratitude? I’d love to hear some feedback.

Mark Woolsey is a veteran broadcaster, freelance writer and aspiring blogger. This is his second piece for The Swirl World – stay tuned for more!

#202| Never Too Much

July 21, 2015 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway Leave a Comment

“No black woman writer in this culture can write “too much.” Indeed, no woman writer can write ‘too much’…No woman has ever written enough.”

~bell hooks

I love bell hooks’ writing, and because I’m a writer, this statement of hers deeply resonates with me.

Her statement raises a question: Are you sharing your story? Are you even chronicling your story?

Do you verbally share with others the stories of your life? We all have them, you know.

Do you have a journal – or should I ask, do you write in a journal, ensuring you chronicle your story, your thoughts and feelings?

As a woman in this world, you have a story to tell; a story people need to hear.

Don’t allow your stories – the times of your life – die within you.

Write and write and write, and get those words out of your head and heart.

Get them into the world where others can read them and benefit from them, just as we are benefitting today from today’s quote – this mere sentence bell hooks wrote.

Take that all important step, and write.

Remember, what you have to say and to share can never be too much.

We’d love to FEATURE YOU in one of our Inspiration Daily posts! If you’d like to be featured, please send a nice, clear photo to InspirationDaily@TheSwirlWorld.com.

#84| Write It Yourself!

March 25, 2015 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway Leave a Comment

Reading is one of my absolute favorite things to do, and writing is a close second.

I can think of few places I’d rather be than in a library or bookstore.

I’m especially proud of the fact that here in The Swirl World, we feature a number of authors who have decided to take Toni Morrison’s advice:

If there is a book that you want to read, but it hasn’t been written yet, you must be the one to write it.

Mechal Renée Roe grew up as a child from a mixed shade family. She looked for a book that addressed some of the things she experienced with her hair – a book that celebrated the uniqueness of Black women’s hair in all its glory.

She couldn’t find the book she was looking for – and today, she’s the author and illustrator of Happy Hair!

To listen to her story and learn more about her book, click here.

So, what about you? What do you want to read? Have you been able to find it?

If not, why not write it yourself?

We’d love to FEATURE YOU in one of our Inspiration Daily posts! If you’d like to be featured, please send a nice, clear photo to InspirationDaily@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Mondays (And Dates) With Mike

December 2, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 6 Comments

Last Monday we enjoyed a veritable feast for the eyes with the “Men From Down Under” – Australian men who make our hearts skip a beat and send us ladies on mental trips to Fantasy Island.

We introduced you to our own Michael Miocevich (pronounced My-oh-see-vitch). Mike lives in Western Australia and cheerfully agreed to serve as our guide to Swirling in Australia.

(He also agreed to give us a first-hand view into the male mind. Think about it: Who better than a man to tell us how a man thinks??)

In addition to being an all-around good sport Mike is a writer and blogger. If you love delightful prose and poetry (yes, he writes poetry!) check out his blog here.

We put the call out for questions and started receiving immediate responses.

This week’s questions are from Chongo, one of our fans in The Swirl World on Facebook.

NOTE: Chongo’s questions (in red) and Mike’s responses (in blue) are unedited.

Hi TSW!

Happy Thanksgiving.

My name’s Chongo (Chit) and I’ve been reading your blog and FB page for months (about a year). I’ve been interested in interracial dating & relationships since primary school when my first crush was a cute soft-spoken white boy called Michael. I like men of all races and nationalities and your page is a great space for eye candy, articles and normalising love across colour lines. So thank you for this amazing space – it is serious, fun and everything in between and outside.

I read about your ‘Mondays with Mike’ from the blog and I’m sending in my questions.

Hello Mike, thanks for enabling this form of interaction. Here are my questions:

1. Do your family and friends know about your attraction to black women? If affirmative, what was their reaction? Does their reaction (positive or negative) matter to you?

Hi Chongo, great to make your acquaintance!

Here are the answers to your questions; as good as I can make them.

1 – A few of my friends know, as I have told them, but my family I haven’t. This is not because I am afraid nor ashamed of liking who I like, it’s just that my parents and siblings made things incredibly awkward for me when I was growing up. Any hint of liking a girl meant that they couldn’t help but blurt it out to her while I was standing there, making me go bright red and both of us feel awkward. Another reason is that my siblings have had complicated relationships with the people they went out with (and married) over the years, and a lot of that drama that happened was played out in front of the family. I prefer to keep my relationships close to my heart. In the end it’s myself and the person I am with who matter, not the opinions of anyone else.

These days I think my relatives would likely say “about time!” if I showed up to a family gathering with a girl, and I very much doubt they would care what ethnicity she was. If they had a negative reaction I would be upset, because they wouldn’t be the people I thought they were. However, I don’t think this will be a problem. I’d also let my family know to mind their P’s and Q’s if I were to bring anyone along, regardless of where she was from. I am sure my siblings would give me those kind of knowing looks about the fact I had introduced someone to them, and possibly pull dumb faces and go ‘ooooo-oooh!” when I was near them, but I think they’d get over it I suspect they’ve been waiting a long time to hassle me about such things and are going to take every opportunity to make me uncomfortable about having a girlfriend there as much as possible, but that’s the price the youngest in the family usually has to pay.

2. What’s your greatest curiosity about black women (bearing in mind we are not a monolith) or what is the one thing you are most curious about vis-a-vis black women?

2 – An interesting question, and I hope my answer doesn’t come off as pandering or trite. I wonder why some men from different ethnic groups don’t appreciate black women for the wonderful jewels they are. I can’t fathom it myself. I’ve been talking to Michelle, and she has linked me to the song by the Doors called “Hello”, which Jim Morrison wrote after seeing an incredibly gorgeous black woman, but not having the confidence to talk to her. He says as much in the lines “Do you hope to make her see, you fool? Do you hope to pluck this dusky jewel?” I have lived far too long in that mindset, thinking that black women did not want anything to do with white guys (mostly misinformed by TV, movies and music I have to say), but broke the habit some time ago. I guess perhaps a lot of the guys have the same hang-ups I had, in as much as they think they’ll be rebuffed instantly. A lot of the time guys are shy in approaching anyone, but I do hope in the future men of all groups will take the chance and be accepted in return. I’d love to see more of that.

3. What is your idea of a fun date?

3 – I’d love to spend an day in a place where lots of art and creativity is on display, with all kinds of artists showcasing their talents. Take brunch or lunch at a nice restaurant and discuss what has been seen, and the general small talk about anything which is so fun to have. In the afternoon watch a live band, take in a play or an enjoyable movie, or be content to wander amongst trees and nature in a park. As the sun goes down find a spot for a picnic and toast the last rays of the sun as they disappear over the horizon, and be graced with a wonderful display of colour with the sunset. At night a moonlit walk along the beach holding hands, combined with acting the fool in the low surf as it hits the shore, and a dreamy kiss under the stars. That would be a good day. A very good day.

And there you have it, folks – straight from the mouth of our man Mike in Australia. Special thanks to TSW fan Chonogo for submitting those questions.

Got questions for Mike? Send them to us via inbox on Facebook or email them to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Tune in next Monday for more Mondays With Mike!

You can follow Mike on Twitter @500and50 and read his blog at 500and50.com.

Join in the Fray: What do you think of Mike’s description of a “fun date?”

How Acute Is Your Pain? – Part 1

July 1, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 1 Comment

So here we are in July! I’m ready to tackle this Blogher NaBloPoMo challenge so let’s get to it!

One of the things we’re discussing in my Business Ignition Boot Camp is the concept of needs.

Chronic Need

What do people need? Is the need a chronic one – something they know they should get/have/do. It’s that nagging thing in the back of their mind; the thing they need to address if they want that need met. The fact that the need is “ever-present” makes it chronic. (You know – the classic “dripping faucet.”)

Acute Pain

At what point does the need become acute? It becomes acute when it causes them pain – when they can no longer ignore it. The pain can be emotional, physical, financial – you tell me. The need has to be addressed, resolved, solved. (Think: The dripping faucet is now a steady stream that is adding a couple of hundred dollars per month to the water bill. Oh yes – that’s painful).

Passion

There’s also the concept of passion, where the need is neither chronic nor acutely painful. Passion occurs when you tip toe through the tulips with no stress – you basically do whatever it is you’re doing because you want to and because you love to do it. (This is Nirvana, if you will; the ideal state. We’ll get to that later in the month).

For the next several days – maybe the rest of the week – we’re going to talk about needs and pain.

I want you to consider what your need is.

What do you need?

What do you want?

Is your need chronic – or is your need acute and causing you pain? How acute is your pain?

Think about these questions and identify your need. Settle on an answer. Check in with me tomorrow, and we’ll talk about it.

***Side Note***

(I know it’s “late,” yet if you’re a regular reader of the blog you know how I roll. I’m a Certified Night Owl, so oftentimes my posts will come at what may seem like an obscenely late hour – sometimes at 11:59 p.m. CST, just to make sure I make that day’s deadline). If you’re a Newbie, just go along and we’ll get along!

***2nd Side Note***

(I can’t put it all on being a Night Owl – a lot of times my posts come late because I’m a glutton for punishment and I juggle a lot of writing assignments. Just work with me, people!)

Join in the Fray: Chronic, or acute?

This Right Here . . . .

April 22, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 1 Comment

. . . . is what I’m doing.

The fainting spells are done, deep breaths taken, and all is right with the world. I’ve had a chance to read through the suggested edits for my dissertation, and most of it consists of subjective, nit-picky things that are relatively easy fixes. Painstaking fixes, some of them, but relatively easy nevertheless.

Special thanks to each of you for your love, encouragement and support. An extra special shout out and thanks to Karla Fears, who hit the nail on the head in her Facebook post to me. She confirmed everything I was thinking, and having that witness from her gave me the jolt that I needed.

I am truly blessed with a wonderful support system; women and men who wish me well and want me to succeed. My wonderful parents and brothers, of course, who are the wind beneath my wings.

I’m so close to being done I can taste it, and I have to say that I’m ready to move on to other projects. Until I’m done with this particular project, I’m going to Keep Calm and Write On. Thanks for the boost!

Note: The “Keep Calm and Write On” photo was obtained from the KEEP-CALM-O-MATIC website. I’m getting this one done in a poster, t-shirt, coffee mug, mouse pad . . . .

Join in the Fray: Please tell me what projects YOU are working on. What can I do to encourage you?

I’m blogging every day in the month of April in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

From the Mailbag – I Want to Know How to Date Out!

February 22, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 4 Comments

I receive emails from people around the globe.

Fans write to express how much they enjoy the blog; foes, not so much.

Whether you love it or you hate it, I enjoy hearing from you.

Today’s post (edited to protect the writer’s anonymity) features a question I often receive:

Hey Michelle, how are you?….I’m writing because I recently broke up with my on & off again boyfriend of 8 yrs (long story..lol) I love your site because I have recently become open minded to dating outside of my race but I’m nervous and not really sure what to do since I’ve been kinda off the market for some time. I was looking thru the pics on your Facebook page and even liking some of them. Now my friends are asking me why! I guess I’m just looking for some advise or words to get me out there to explore. I know I’m probably rambling & not making sense but I guess I just need to talk to someone like minded….hope to hear from ya soon.

This was my response:

Hi there, and thanks for writing!

The first thing I would recommend is that you get yourself a copy of the book Swirling by Christelyn D. Karazin and Janice Roshalle Littlejohn (it’s on Amazon and at Barnes & Noble). The book contains tons of GREAT tips and covers the main tenets of IR dating from start to finish – it even lists the parts of the country that are the most open.

I have to tell you to be prepared for the backlash. One of the things I’ve observed in my studies is that for some strange reason, Black Women have been saddled with “maintaining the race,” and labeled as being a “race traitor” when they decide to date out – yet Black men date/marry out at a rate that is over 2 to 1 of the rate of Black women! It seems to be ok for THEM to do it but not us – go figure. Statistics also show that Black women have the lowest rates of interracial marriage. You have to really decide in your mind that this is YOUR life and YOUR choice, and ultimately your FIRST loyalties are to God and yourself.

Get Rid of Your Negativity

Don’t allow anyone’s negativity to hold you back. What a lot of Black women don’t realize is that while they are waiting/looking/checking for “Nothing But a Black Man” (NBABM), so are THOUSANDS of OTHER Black women – realistically speaking, how many Black men do you think there are to go around??? And not only that, many of the “good” Black men are not checking for Black women – they’re interested in women of other races. This reduces the pool of available Black men even further. If you’re in that NBABM mindset, the numerical odds are that you will either (1) wind up alone, or (2) wind up sharing a man. Men of other races outnumber Black men, which gives you ample more men to choose from if you just OPEN your mind and EXPAND your options. You don’t need EVERY quality non-Black man to like/want you – guess what? You only need ONE.

Shake Everyone Else’s Negativity

Don’t allow the negative feelings friends/relatives to hold you back, either. Women really do tend to sometimes have that “crab in a bucket” mentality. They’re alone, and (1) afraid to reach out to other races, or (2) either trying to “sister soldier” for Black men who are paying them no attention. Many of them will take a “How dare you” approach, because in reality you are leaving them behind. Why should ALL of you be alone??? Let them call you a sell out if they want to. When you think about it, what do you really want? You want a good man who shares many of your values, and will love you for you. Well, men like that come in more than one color. And for the women who say, “I want a Black man because he can understand/share my struggle,” my response is this: Are you SO shallow that a man of only ONE ethnicity can relate to you??? Really?? If a non-Black man doesn’t know your struggle, how ‘bout you educate him – and be educated by him in return? What’s wrong with that?

The Opportunity Has Probably Already Presented Itself!

With that being said, I’ll bet if you think about it, you’ve already been “hit on” by men of other races. Please know that they often tend to be much more subtle in their approach than Black men. Many White men are a bit hesitant/reluctant to step to a Black woman, not because they’re not interested, but rather because they’re not sure how she will receive their advances. Unfortunately, because of some of the reasons I listed above, many Black women react in strongly negative ways to White men’s advances, so it makes non-Black men somewhat timid. Plus, they tend to not be as aggressive and “in your face” as Black men are (think about it; a lot of Black men tend to think they have a RIGHT to approach you, and also think that you should automatically be responsive. SMH).

Why You Need to Make it a Great Experience – For Both of You

If a White man (or other non-Black man) compliments you, attempts to strike up a conversation with you, etc., most of the time it’s because he’s interested. Even if you’re not interested (for whatever reason), please still be nice, because you don’t want to spoil it for the next Black woman he wants to approach. Leave him with the thought and impression that Black women are friendly and approachable, not hateful and mean. Not only will it help him, it will also help to crush the negative Black women stereotypes out there. Let me also say that unless you have a VERY good reason for not being interested, give the man a chance – you really never know!

Some Practical Tips

I suggest you examine your hobbies and interests, and start from there. Go online and check out Meet Up groups in your area. It’s a quick, easy, and usually free way to meet new people and expand your circle. Change some of the places you frequent – go to museums, libraries, etc., where people interested in the arts and culture usually frequent. I even suggest you investigate the events at your local Whole Foods Market!

Smile, Smile, SMILE!

I cannot stress enough how important it is to SMILE, be open, be FRIENDLY and APPROACHABLE. Be observant; it’s easy to start conversations over the simplest of things. Of course you still have to vet ANY man, regardless of race. Keep your standards high and don’t take any crap – the same way you would not from a Black man. Confidence is attractive, period – and men love confident women. I’m sure you maintain a neat and attractive appearance; that’s a given for a man of ANY race. (Interestingly, what you’ll find is that Black men are often FAR more critical of our looks than non-Black men are. We’re exotic to them, and the things that Black men tend to rag on – natural hair, skin tone, etc., non-Black men are DRAWN to and LOVE. Again, go figure!)

I have much more I can say – all of that is just for starters. Feel free to ask away, and bounce things off me!

Join in the Fray: What advice can you share?

#300| Proud Of Every Step

Fighting Back

Proud Of Every Step

Talk Back To Us

Like this:

Guest Post: I Dream Of Traveling

I Had A Dream

The Dream Resurfaces . . . And Is Deferred

Living The Dream

Immersed In Greek Culture

Interactive History Lessons

Like this:

The One List Everyone Needs To Make

The Gratitude List

Making The List

Like this:

#84| Write It Yourself!

Like this:

Mondays (And Dates) With Mike

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How Acute Is Your Pain? – Part 1

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This Right Here . . . .

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From the Mailbag – I Want to Know How to Date Out!

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Fighting Back

Proud Of Every Step

Talk Back To Us

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I Had A Dream

The Dream Resurfaces . . . And Is Deferred

Living The Dream

Immersed In Greek Culture

Interactive History Lessons

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The Gratitude List

Making The List

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