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The Swirl World

Celebrating and Elevating Black Women - mind, body, soul and spirit!


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5 Steps To Take If You’re Feeling Lonely

December 28, 2015 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway Leave a Comment

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Are you feeling lonely or know someone who is?

In an audio excerpt derived from a Periscope recorded on Christmas Eve, I asked the question, “What do the lonely do at Christmas?”

I answered the question by sharing 5 steps that can make a difference in dealing with loneliness – whether from the lack of a relationship or the loss of a loved one.

(So, are you following me on Periscope yet? If not, what are you waiting for?)
shareasimagePeriscope

I refer to Christmas in the audio, but these tips are good basically all year round.

If you’re feeling lonely, I encourage you to implement some of the tips.

Swirl With Confidence

I also want to take the opportunity to invite you to our upcoming FREE webinar, “Three Steps To Swirling With Confidence.”

The webinar is Sunday, January 3, 2016 at 5 pm EST. Click here to sign up!

Feel free to email me and let me know what you think of this podcast episode.

If you can’t see the podcast player, click here or here.

If you can’t see the Sound Cloud player, click here. You can also head over and listen to the show on iTunes, Stitcher Radio, Spreaker or PlayerFM.

Shout Out!

Jackie ONappyThe Shout Out! for Podcast Episode 95 goes to Jacqueline M. Dawson. We’ve featured Jackie before, and plan to continue to do so whenever we present posts concerning mental health and emotional well-being.

Jackie is a Substance Abuse & Mental Health Therapist/Coach with more than 16 years of experience. In addition to coaching, counseling and Consulting, she’s also a popular blogger and advice columnist.

Jackie (affectionately known as “Jackie O’Nappy” around the web) is well-connected in the mental health field. If she can’t personally help you because logistics won’t permit, she promises to connect you to someone who can.

We want you to enjoy complete wholeness of mind, body, soul and spirit.

We want you to know help is only a mouse-click or an email away.

To connect with Jackie on Facebook, click here. To connect with Jackie via email, send an email to hello@jackieonappy.com.

 

Want to be a guest on The Swirl World Podcast, or know someone who should?

Send an email to Podcast@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Be sure to “Like” The Swirl World on Facebook and subscribe to the podcast on iTunes.

You can also follow us on Sound Cloud and listen to the show on Stitcher Radio. You can also hear us on PlayerFM!

Copyright © 2015 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, The Swirl World Podcast™, Swirl Nation™, All rights reserved. Photo property of The Swirl World™. Photo of Jacqueline Dawson used with permission.

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Filed Under: Black Women Living Well, Holiday Observances, Mental Health, Podcast Tagged With: Christmas, depression, Happy Holidays, Holidays, Jacqueline M. Dawson, loneliness, lonely, Mental Health, Periscope, podcast

#355| Practice Compassion

December 21, 2015 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway Leave a Comment

shareasimagePracticeCompassion

Well, we are in the thick of the holiday season.

Many shoppers are running to and fro in an attempt to make last-minute Christmas purchases.

As a result, stress levels are high, tempers are short and patience is in short supply.

In addition to experiencing an increase in feelings of frustration, many are also contending with a sense of gloominess, and even the onset of depression.

As you are out and about in these remaining days of 2015 you will encounter people who are in different states of mind.

I encourage considering not only your own well-being, but also the well-being of others.

Instead of flaring up, responding angrily, criticizing and judging, try extending compassion.

Go ahead; practice compassion.

A little compassion will go a long, long way. And who knows? You just may make someone’s holiday.

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.
Click To Tweet

 Need Someone To Talk To?

Jackie ONappyIf you feel like you need someone to talk to and don’t know who to contact, I’d like to refer you to Jacqueline M. Dawson.

Jackie is a Substance Abuse & Mental Health Therapist/Coach with more than 16 years of experience. In addition to coaching, counseling and Consulting, she’s also a popular blogger and advice columnist.

Jackie (affectionately known as “Jackie O’Nappy” around the web) is well-connected in the mental health field. If she can’t personally help you because logistics won’t permit, she promises to connect you to someone who can.

We want you to enjoy complete wholeness – mind body, soul and spirit.

We want you to know help is only a mouse-click or an email away.

To connect with Jackie on Facebook, click here. To connect with Jackie via email, send an email to hello@jackieonappy.com.

 

The Swirl World Team is committed to sharing 365 days of inspiration in 2015. Our goal is to help you stay motivated and inspired by bringing you positive, uplifting images and corresponding thoughts.

We’d love to FEATURE YOU in one of our Inspiration Daily posts! If you’d like to be featured, please send a nice, high-resolution photo to InspirationDaily@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Copyright ©2015 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, The Swirl World Podcast™, The Swirl World Inspiration Daily™, Swirl Nation™, All rights reserved. Quotation photo property of The Swirl World™. Photo of Jacqueline Dawson used with permission.

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Filed Under: Holiday Observances, Inspiration Daily 2015, Mental Health Tagged With: choose happiness, Christmas, Christmas celebration, compassion, happiness, happy, Holidays, Mental Health, well-being

#354| Now That’s Authenticity!

December 20, 2015 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway Leave a Comment

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Deciding where your boundaries lie and honoring them – now that’s authenticity!

 

The Swirl World Team is committed to sharing 365 days of inspiration in 2015. Our goal is to help you stay motivated and inspired by bringing you positive, uplifting images and corresponding thoughts.

We’d love to FEATURE YOU in one of our Inspiration Daily posts! If you’d like to be featured, please send a nice, high-resolution photo to InspirationDaily@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Copyright ©2015 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, The Swirl World Podcast™, The Swirl World Inspiration Daily™, Swirl Nation™, All rights reserved. Photo property of The Swirl World™.

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Filed Under: Black Women Living Well, Goal Setting, Inspiration Daily 2015, Mental Health, Soulful Sunday Tagged With: Black women, life, living well, love, Mental Health, Relationships

#294| Our Secret Sorrows

October 21, 2015 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 3 Comments

shareasimageSecretSorrows

“Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and often times we call a man cold when he is only sad.”

~Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Certain posts often go viral on Facebook; making the rounds from individual to individual.

Many of the posts are silly practical jokes. We read, chuckle and blow them off.

However, some of these posts carry serious messages everyone should pay attention to.

This is one such post. (I don’t know who originated the words, so I can’t give them credit):

Many people think that a suicide attempt is a selfish move because the person just does not care about the people left behind. I can tell you that when a person gets to that point, they truly believe that their loved ones will be much better off with them gone. This is mental illness not selfishness. TRUTH: Depression is a terrible disease and seems relentless. A lot of us have been close to that edge, or dealt with family members in a crisis, and some have lost friends and loved ones.

Let’s look out for each other and stop sweeping mental illness under the rug. If I don’t see your name, I’ll understand. May I ask my family and friends wherever you might be, to kindly copy and paste this status for one hour to give a moment of support to all those who have family problems, health struggles, job issues, worries of any kind and just need to know that someone cares. Do it for all of us, for nobody is immune.

Hope to see this on the walls of all my family and friends just for moral support. I know some will!!! I did it for a friend and you can too. You have to copy and paste this one, no sharing. Thank you!

We usually address physical health on Wellness Wednesday, but today we want to focus on mental health.

So, How Are You?

How are you? Are you feeling all right?

From an emotional and mental standpoint, do you feel connected – and are you enjoying a good sense of well-being?

If you don’t, will you please pick up the phone and make a call or send a text and ask for help? Of if you prefer, will you please click your mouse – and send an email?

Meet My Friend Jackie

Jackie ONappyIf you feel like you need someone to talk to and don’t know who to contact, I’d like to introduce you to Jacqueline M. Dawson.

Jackie is a Substance Abuse & Mental Health Therapist/Coach with more than 16 years of experience. In addition to coaching, counseling and Consulting, she’s also a popular blogger and advice columnist.

Jackie (affectionately known as “Jackie O’Nappy” around the web) is well-connected in the mental health field. If she can’t personally help you because logistics, she promises to connect you to someone who can.

Enjoy Complete Wholeness

We want the members of Swirl Nation to enjoy complete wholeness – mind body, soul and spirit.

If you have secret sorrows, the first step to eradicating them is to pull them out of the shadows and stop keeping them a secret.

Help is only a mouse-click or an email away.

To connect with Jackie on Facebook, click here. To connect with Jackie via email, send an email to hello@jackieonappy.com.

 

Join in the Fray: What steps are you actively taking to confront your secret sorrows?

 

The Swirl World Team is committed to sharing 365 days of inspiration in 2015. Our goal is to help you stay motivated and inspired by bringing you positive, uplifting images and corresponding thoughts.

We’d love to FEATURE YOU in one of our Inspiration Daily posts! If you’d like to be featured, please send a nice, clear photo to InspirationDaily@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Copyright ©2015 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, The Swirl World Podcast™, The Swirl World Inspiration Daily™, Swirl Nation™, All rights reserved. Quotation photo property of The Swirl World™. Photo of Jacqueline M. Dawson used with permission.

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Filed Under: Black Women Living Well, Health & Exercise, Inspiration Daily 2015, Mental Health, Natural Hair, Shout Outs Tagged With: Black women, Jackie O'Nappy, Jacqueline M. Dawson, life, living well, Mental Health, mental illness, suicide, suicide prevention

Young, Gifted and Black: Meet Shelby Birch

October 12, 2015 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway Leave a Comment

shareasimageShelbyBirch2

Here in The Swirl World, our overarching mission is to provide the tools, inspiration and conversations to help Black women live their best life.

Today, I’m pleased as Punch to introduce you to a woman who is living her life to the fullest – and exemplifies being Young, Gifted and Black.

Meet Shelby Birch

“I have an obligation to tell my story for those who couldn’t do it themselves. I write for them.” -Shelby Birch. 

Years ago, Shelby was depressed and complemented suicide.

Instead, she turned to writing and poetry and that has helped heal her. Now a Spoken Word Artist/Poet, Shelby wants to show the world that poetry can mend the broken.

Honors and Accolades

At 13, Shelby won 1st place in her middle school talent show. Since then, she has competed in local, national and international poetry slams as a youth poet and adult.

Shelby is now a 2x Diverse Word Slam Champion and Fringe Poetry Smackdown 2015 Slam Champion.

In March 2015, Shelby’s collegiate slam team competed in the College Unions Poetry Slam Invitational (CUPSI 2015) and ranked 5th in the U.S. and Canada – and this was their first time attending!

In August 2015, Shelby opened as a featured poet for internationally touring poet, author and public speaker Michael “Just Mike the Poet” Reid on his Love and Poetry Tour in New York City. Shelby has featured in Detroit and Grand Rapids Michigan, New York City and across Florida.

Ready To Share Her Story

Through 8+ years of experience, Shelby has acquired the skill-sets to teach, mentor, and impact a diverse group of people. Looking for a dynamic speaker for your next event? Visit ShelbyBirch.com for booking details.

Shelby is also working on her first newsletter, so if you want more behind the scene information for Shelby’s upcoming poetry book, events, shirt releases, and projects send an email to ShelbyBirch12@gmail.com. Be sure to place “Sign Me Up” in the subject line!

Watch Shelby Perform Her Poetry

Shelby Birch– Women are the Backbone of the World (awesome poem)

– Used (viewer discretion: this poem contains strong language)

– Earth (viewer discretion: this poem contains strong language)

To visit Shelby’s website, click here. Connect with Shelby on Twitter @ShelbyBirch12.

On Instagram, visit @ShelbyBirch.

Copyright ©2015 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, The Swirl World Podcast™, The Swirl World Inspiration Daily™, Swirl Nation™, All rights reserved. Photos used with permission.

 

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Filed Under: Black Girls, Black Women Living Well, Fantastic Fans, Mental Health, Natural Hair, Shout Outs Tagged With: Black girls, Black women, life, living well, Mental Health, overcoming, poet, poetry, Shelby Birch, spoken word

The One List Everyone Needs To Make

October 5, 2015 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 6 Comments

shareasimageWRITING_MW

I couldn’t find the quote online, but I thought I read somewhere, at some point, the notion that “gratitude is just disguised envy.”

Say What??

If indeed that statement was ever made (and I didn’t just manufacture it in my brain), nothing could be further from the truth.

The Gratitude List

Michelle’s recent post on gratitude led to be a bit of online research, some mulling over of things and an urge to talk about what’s come to be a valuable tool for me-The Gratitude List (capitalization intended).

I saw one online post that referred to enumerating things to be grateful for as a “gratitude adjustment” and that’s a term that really resonates with me. Each time I do it, I feel at least a tiny bit better about life.

Full disclosure here: I struggle with depression.

It’s chronic and I think it’s chemical in nature. I’ve had periods of feeling low since before I could put a name to what I am feeling. As I have progressed through adulthood, I’ve developed a toolbox of techniques that have helped me beat back the demons, including meditation, cognitive behavior exercises, working out, maintaining and growing my support system, being spiritual and yes, taking meds.

One of the weapons in the arsenal that has come along relatively recently is the gratitude list. The concept turned up in some self-help literature I was reading, and it was reinforced in a discussion with a buddy of mine over pizza. He has struggled with his own issues, by the way.

Making The List

So here’s what I do, and here’s my suggestion for the one list everyone needs to make. (Full disclosure: I don’t make my list nearly as much I should, or want to. Some days are insanely busy).

(1) Whenever time allows, I hand-write my list. It seems to engrave the message more firmly onto my brain

(2) I begin each point with: “I am so happy and grateful for”…as opposed to stating it once and then listing a bunch of bullet points. Mentioning happiness and gratitude anew each time I list a point links the concept of happiness/gratitude and what I am specifying more firmly.

(3) I really try hard for specifics, so that I’m not stating the same generalities over and over. Instead of “I am so happy and grateful for a loving and supportive partner,” how about “I am happy and grateful for a partner so loving that she made me stuffed green peppers (one of my favorites) for dinner after hearing that I had a lousy day at work.”

(4). Have a little fun with it, be silly. “I am so happy and grateful that for once, the guy in the next cubicle who smacks his lips while eating went to the break room instead of eating lunch at his desk. Peace and quiet and no feeling like I am next door to a pig feeding at a trough! (Hint: don’t show this to your co-worker).

It Works!

And it works. Last week I had one of those “worst days ever.” Hellish commute, forgot my lunch, mini-confrontation with a supervisor (no punches were thrown) and didn’t have time to make it to the gym. Time to make a gratitude list! And it really helped, along with a mini-meditation as I sat in my car before pulling out of the parking garage.

Join in the Fray: How do you express your gratitude? I’d love to hear some feedback.

 

Mark Woolsey is a veteran broadcaster, freelance writer and aspiring blogger. This is his second piece for The Swirl World – stay tuned for more!

 

Copyright ©2015 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, The Swirl World Podcast™, The Swirl World Inspiration Daily™, Swirl Nation™, All rights reserved. Photo property of The Swirl World™.

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Filed Under: Fantastic Fans, Guest Blog, Mental Health, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: depression, gratitude, Gratitude List, life, lists, living well, Mark Woolsey, Mental Health, Writing

What Works for Me

June 9, 2012 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 9 Comments

Seen on Twitter:

I want a relationship that works, or I don’t want one at all. The alternative is much too painful.

 A tiny Tweet, yet it speaks volumes. I’m pretty sure most of us not only concur, we can relate. It’s a simple concept; after all, who doesn’t want a relationship that works? Unfortunately, problems creep into our relationships because oftentimes we hold different ideas regarding what “works.”  A happy medium can be hard to achieve if one party in the relationship doesn’t understand that the best way to receive is to give. Having a relationship that “works” also doesn’t mean that we get to have our way at our partner’s expense. The goal of any compromise should be win-win, not win at all costs.

I’ve also found out the hard way that developing a relationship that works isn’t achieved simply because each person defined their boundaries and limitations, or established must-haves. It also isn’t achieved because we drew lines in the sand regarding those behaviors and situations we designated as deal breakers. For instance, what if one person decides (for whatever reason) to totally disregard everything you both spent time and energy to carefully create? It’s like using “time out” as a disciplinary tactic in child rearing: What happens if your kid decides he won’t go in time out?

Time out? Make me . . . .

I’ve come to the conclusion that in order to have a relationship that works, both persons have to be what they want in the relationship. Here’s a primer:

  • Be honest. That means be truthful – not only in what you say, but in who you are. My personal philosophy for entering a relationship is “what you see is what you get.” No pretending, no sugarcoating – I am who I am and it is what it is. I do this to assure you that you’re not meeting Dr. Jekyll, only to have Mr. Hyde show up later.
  • Be smart. In this instance, I’m not saying you have to be a Rhodes Scholar (though having a brain – and knowing how to use it – really helps. Just being honest). Being smart also means that even though you recognize and accept you imperfections, you’re smart enough to not use them as excuses for dumb behavior.
  • Be a team player. Even though that expression is tired and worn, the concept isn’t. Team players have enough sense to know what to do to get along with someone, namely, me. You + Me = Team Us. That means we both do what it takes to sink the basket, score the touchdown, make the goal, make the birdie or an eagle, roll a strike, and land a 20 pound bass. A striped one.
  • Be a lover. Wait, I’m not talking about that kind of lover  . . . (well, on second thought, I am; it’s just that I’m not talking about that right now. This page is rated PG-13, and I have to keep it on the level that my Mother can read it. Stop trying to confuse me. Ahem. Cough).
  • Be a lover. Be willing to love me the way I want to be loved. Please speak my love language,  because I promise I’ll speak yours. There’s no need to complain about our differences; instead, let’s make it a point to celebrate them. You being from Mars and me hailing from Venus is a good thing.     
  • Be fair. Don’t take my kindness for weakness, or try to use it to your advantage. I don’t know how to give less than 100%, so when I’m in, I’m in. Don’t allow me to keep giving 100% when you know you intend to only give 30%, or when you know my 100% is no longer what you want.                                                                                   Insert —–>Just man up and tell me<—— here.
  • Be a promise keeper. I cannot stress this one enough. If this seems like a no brainer, then let me introduce you to the scores of people who have found themselves on the receiving end of broken promises (sadly, ASwirlGirl would be included in that score). One of the best ways you can ensure you keep your promises is to be very judicious in making them. Don’t allow yourself to be pushed, strong armed, cajoled, or otherwise persuaded into making promises, and in like manner, don’t use these tactics to extract them. If you happen to learn that you will have to break a promise you made, then be big enough to say so. Articulate. Communicate. Talk, for goodness sakes.  In other words, Just man up and tell me.  Trust me, any disappointment you think I will feel will certainly be offset by your honesty.  

I’ve taken a lighthearted approach to this relationship business, but I dare not overlook the seriousness of the portion of the statement that said “the alternative is much too painful.” Yes. Being lied to is painful. Trying to deal with someone who refuses to push himself creatively or intellectually is painful.  Sustaining a relationship with someone who believes there is an “I” in TEAM is painful. Enduring willful, deliberate acts of unfairness is painful. Recovering from the hurt stemming from broken promises with no reason why IS. PAINFUL.   

I believe life is meant to be shared with family and friends. Being in a relationship with a special someone as you make life’s journey is even better. Most of us want to be with someone who agrees on, lives up to, and shares in the physical, spiritual, and emotional investment required for the journey. Someone who knows and understands that we each need to be that person to the best of our ability. Someone who doesn’t expect us to get it right every time yet appreciates the fact that we’re going to try. Someone who will give what they want to get. That’s what works for me.     

 

Join in the fray: Tell me, what “works” for you?   

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Black. White, Health, interracial, interracial relationships, Intimate relationship, love, men, Mental Health, Pain, Person, relationship, Tweet, Twitter, women

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Welcome!

I’m Michelle Matthews-Calloway, and I’m A Swirl Girl! Greetings to you from The Swirl World. We encourage Black women to expand their relationship options by dating and marrying interracially. Our overarching mission is to see Black Women live their best life. Come Swirl with us in The Swirl World™, where we celebrate Black women and the diverse men who love us!™

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All rights reserved. All work is the copyright of the respective owner, otherwise copyright ©2015 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, The Swirl World Podcast™, The Swirl World Inspiration Daily™, Swirl Nation™, all rights reserved, Dallas, TX, USA.
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