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The Swirl World

Celebrating and Elevating Black Women - mind, body, soul and spirit!


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Mondays With Mike: The Providence Of Love

March 31, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway Leave a Comment

Though we are not a dating site by any means, here at The Swirl World we pride ourselves on the quality of connections we make.

violin rose and music booksOur man Mike in Australia is no exception. We love him to pieces, Adrienne and I, and he feels the same way about us.

We met providentially – and then lo and behold, Cupid got in the mix!

Remember the movie Eat, Pray, Love starring Julia Roberts?

 

For many of us, love is a process. Sometimes Love finds us – or better yet, we find it – in the strangest of ways.

Cue the roses, wine and violins, because this one is a doozy! We’ll let Mike tell you:

MIKE M - THIS ONEThe Fear Factor
We’re often convinced that things are either going to plan, coasting in neutral, or falling apart completely.

While we do have a great deal of control over our lives, sometimes we can be too afraid of what we think is a loss of control, and embrace the certainty that comes with fear of the unknown, and stick to what we know.

This isn’t something unnatural, as everyone needs to have a strong foundation from which they can start from, and rely upon to be unchanging in their lives. But that’s what it just is – a foundation.

You need to be able to build up and branch out from those places, and not just rely on the solitary comforts they provide. Otherwise you wake up one day thinking to yourself that your time has passed you by, and you had a chance before but now it’s gone and there is no bringing it back.

You could use that as a justification to sticking with what you know, resigning yourself to the fact that this is as good as it gets, and that’s that.

Fate Versus Destiny – The Power Of A Moment
Or, you could do something else. I believe a moment acted upon is a moment that is never lost, and can often bring great rewards and opportunities.

It’s the question of fate versus destiny. You could say they mean essentially the same thing, but that’s never rung true for me. It seems that fate is something which happens if you believe that things can’t ever change, that the time you had to be adventurous and excited has gone, and you’re stuck where you are.

Destiny, I believe, is what happens when you take action, no matter what it is, and strike out into the unknown. You never know where it’s going to take you. It looks dangerous, you might get hurt, and you’ll definitely have your setbacks.

But it’s also thrilling. And it’s also life affirming. It makes you feel something strong to the core of your marrow, and often rewards you well for taking the first step.

What Happened When I Stopped Falling For The Okey-Doke

So, what does this have to do with Swirling? Well I’ll tell you. For a long while I thought that black women weren’t interested in white men. I was caught by that lie hook, line and sinker. Then I randomly searched on YouTube one day and found I was completely mistaken. One video led to the next and then to the next, which led me to a YouTube channel.  I thought I would send a message to via their Facebook page, saying how much I loved what they did and thanked them for encouraging swirling.

Providence

Turns out I sent the message to the wrong page, but struck up a great conversation with Michelle and Adrienne, Admins of The Swirl World. They were fantastically warm and inviting, great with a conversation (which we’ve held for a long time now), and really encouraging.

Serendipity

It’s from there I told them about my writing, which they encouraged again, to poetry, to saying I should post poetry for women on #blackgirlsunday on twitter, to me doing so and having a great reception and lots of fun, to finding a girl on there who was really great to talk to, and ending up finding her as my muse for a lot of my creativity, and developing an ongoing relationship with her!

The Power Of One Small Step

If I had not made that first small step, which led me to message the wrong page (which in the end turned out to be the right one!), I’d still be back where I was 6 months ago.

I can tell you that in the last 6 months I have fallen in love with my life once again. I live for feeling my heart flutter, the closeness, the love, the passion and inspiration. And even if this were to end in heartbreak (which I am quite intent on making sure does not happen), I would have to be glad and thankful for this opportunity to show love and have this happiness.

So my main thought today is this – Put yourself out there. Take the chance; you never know where you’ll be taken by the simplest of actions!

You’ll grow stronger than you had ever thought and be richer for it, guaranteed. That’s why I am so glad to see the Swirl World getting people to open up, put themselves out there, and find what they want in life.

Go for it people, you have nothing to lose.

Cheers!

Mike

Editor’s Note: Stay tuned for updates in this unfolding love story!
___________

Join in the Fray: What small step do YOU need to make?

Got a question for Mike? Send it to us via inbox on The Swirl World’s Facebook page or by email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Follow Mike on Twitter @500and50 read his blog at 500and50.com, or message him on his 500and50 Facebook page.

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com. 

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

 

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Filed Under: BW/WM, Mondays With Mike, Uncategorized Tagged With: Aussie, Australia, Black women, Black. White, destiny, Eat, fate, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, interracial romance, love, movie, muse, poem, pray, providence, serendipity, Twitter

Mondays With Mike: Why I Celebrate Black Women In Poetry (Part 2)

March 17, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 2 Comments

So last week on Mondays With Mike, our favorite Aussie shared a beautiful poem penned to (and for) his muse, @MissLJay20.

Mike's Muse

Today, Mike gives us the details on why he celebrates Black Women in poetry (and is inspired by his Muse):

Why I Celebrate Black Women In Poetry

All artists need a Muse, a source of inspiration, something which sets their spirits aflame, ignites their senses. Something to make them feel that if they don’t attempt to honour that beauty and majesty their soul will burst from trying to keep it all in.

It may seem strange but it’s just the way my Muse works. I don’t think I am alone in feeling like this. I think it’s the soul of all creativity.

Why Black Women In Particular?

So what is it that makes me filled with inspiration to write poetry for Black Women? Why Black Women in particular? Because my Muse moves when I see Black Women, when I hear them, when I appreciate them on all levels, I am always entranced.

I have to celebrate Black Women; my Muse guides my hands in doing so, and I love being able to communicate what I feel in what I write. If I wish to write and write well, I need my source of inspiration, and my Muse requires her due, which I am more than willing to give.

MissLJay20 7

Luckily this has been easy of late. My Muse is beautiful, gives me so much inspiration to write, so much passion and energy that sometimes I don’t know if I will ever be able to pay it back in kind. I try my best and I am forever grateful for the gifts bestowed.

MISSLJAY20 4

And Now, My Heart Is Open

I once thought that I should guard myself closely, be closed off and wary, worried of possible heartaches and troubles, but I am now looking more and more towards being open-hearted and looking for the possible in all things, to be thankful in finding it, and rejoicing in the happiness of it.

I won’t question why I should be so lucky so I don’t spoil it, but instead be gracious, thankful and appreciative in having received it, and trying my best to honour the gift I have been given.

And that is what has inspired my latest poem, and I hope it conveys that as best as can be said.

Cheers!

 

We have to say, @MissLJay20 is a beautiful Black Woman – and Mike is blessed to have her as his Muse!

Join in the Fray: Who or what inspires YOU?

MIKE M - THIS ONEGot a question for Mike? Send it to us via inbox on The Swirl World’s Facebook page or by email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Follow Mike on Twitter @500and50 read his blog at 500and50.com, or message him on his 500and50 Facebook page.

 

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

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Filed Under: BW/WM, Mondays With Mike, Series, Uncategorized Tagged With: Aussie, Australian, Black women, Black. White, creative, creativity, dating, inspiration, inspire, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, love, Mike, Mondays With Mike, muse, poem, poetry, swirl, swirling, Twitter, white

Ever Really Loved A Black Woman?

January 13, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 1 Comment

 

Remember the song “Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman?” by Bryan Adams?

Oh, that song was so deep – the lyrics accurately detailed what it takes to really LOVE a woman.

If you have never heard the song, you may want to give it a listen.

If you have heard the song and love it as much as I do, let’s take a little break and bask in its splendor:

http://youtu.be/hq2KgzKETBw

Whelp, it’s time for another edition of Mondays With Mike, and this one is particularly special.

One of the things we enjoy about Mike is his unabashed admiration for Black Women.

When we began corresponding with him on the Facebook page, he told us,

“I am a white guy from Western Australia, and I have always been attracted to black girls/women. At my first school social I danced with a girl from South Africa, and I never forgot it, or her. I have met and dated a lot of girls, but I never fall as hard as I do for Black women.”

(Smart man, that Mike!)

We recently learned that every Sunday, Mike faithfully – and avidly – participates in a Twitter chat that uses the hash tag #BlackGirlSunday.

During that chat, Black Women and the men who love them share Instagram photos, blog links, YouTube videos, shout outs and everything else in between – and all to the admiration, respect and love of Black Women.

Not only does Mike participate in this worldwide conversation, he also writes poetry to the women on the chat!

That’s right – poetry.

Beautiful, inspired, delightful poetry – all within Twitter’s 140-character limit!

Mike told us that one of his favorite muses is @MissLJay20.

She graciously agreed to let us share a few of her photos.

MISSLJAY20 4

Now, she and Mike aren’t dating or anything like that; he simply appreciates the beauty she represents as a Black Woman.

(And she appreciates the poetry!)

Here are a couple of examples:

Fierce mane & flashing eyes, wicked clothes & savage guise, fiery heat, frenzied fire, burning dark desire

Winsome wary watching eyes, speckled as starry skies, so radiant and clear, to make so bright seem so near

 MISSLJAY20 1

And this one, of which he says,

Poem Before Sleep

If I were to be a thing, named as any other I should be a cup, to hold as much I could before running over

MISSLJAY20 6

Here are a few other poems written for Ladies participating in #BlackGirlSunday:

Hair cascades before the light,

A smile edifies a joyous heart,

But beautiful eyes hold the measure of the soul

—

Picture playful for us to see

Sets you with cherubic smile

But eyes light so wickedly

—

Heartstruck in one motion

Senses reeling from the blow

Blessed by naiad vision

Thy heart holds more to know

—

Has anyone ever penned a poem for you?

As a special treat to our Facebook fans and blog subscribers, Mike will write a poem just for you!

To receive a poem, follow Mike on Twitter @500and50 and send him a Tweet saying you read this post. You can also post a message right here on the blog, and he’ll reply with a poem. Woot Woot!

Keep Swirling.

Join in the Fray: What does it take for someone to really love YOU?

MIKE MIOCEVICHFollow Mike on Twitter @500and50, read his blog at 500and50.com, or message him on his 500and50 Facebook page.

Got questions for Mike? Send them to us via inbox on Facebook or email them to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

All rights reserved. Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, Dallas, TX, USA. Photos used with permission.

 

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Filed Under: Mondays With Mike, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black Girl Sunday, Black women, Black. White, dating, Facebook, hash tag, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, interracial romance, MissLJay20, poem, poetry, swirling, Twitter

Where You At?

January 24, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway Leave a Comment

TWITTER BIRD 1

(I know – you’re right behind that preposition!)

If you recognize this little guy, I believe you have some familiarity with Twitter.

We’re on most of the social media outlets, so feel free to reach out and touch us.

Here’s where you can find me (Michelle Matthews-Calloway): 

TWITTER BIRD RED

  • ASwirlGirl on LinkedIn (Journalists’ Premium Membership)
  • ASwirlGirl on Twitter
  • ASwirlGirl on Facebook
  • ASwirlGirl via (The Swirl World) on Facebook

Holla at ya Girl – I’ll holla back!

Join in the Fray: Where you at in the social media world? Sound off . . . . . 

I’m blogging every day in the month of January in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl, All rights reserved.

 

 

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Filed Under: NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black, Black women, Black. White, BlogHer, Facebook, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, LinkedIn, NaBloPoMo, profile, social media, Social Networking, status, swirling, Tweet, Twitter, update

The Secret I Can Finally Tell You

November 6, 2012 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 6 Comments

Me (whispering):

Pssst! Hey you! Come here . . . . closer . . . . closer. 

I don’t know about you, but I for one am glad that November 6, 2012 is finally here.

Thankfully, Election Day voting will be in full swing by the time you receive notification of this post. Because the election is now underway and whatever will be, will be, I can finally tell you my secret.

My typing fingers – the fingers that have been itching to reach out and respond to all the hateful, bigoted, inane, stupid, inflammatory, and idiotic Facebook posts and Tweets I’ve had the unfortunate experience of seeing in my feeds – the fingers that want to come back with retorts and matching jabs – those fingers have been tied for about the past two months.

Oh, I admit that every once in a while, I slipped up and wasn’t able to resist responding to something here and there. (A Huffington Post thread exchange comes to mind . . . .as well as a Facebook discussion with an old friend regarding “legitimate rape” . . . . ~Le sigh).

Yet, for the most part, I have forced my fingers to back away from engaging in politically themed arguments with people and used all the self-control I could muster to make ASwirlGirl just. shut. up.  

Whew.

Now come closer, so I can go ahead and tell you my secret:

The reason why I had to tie my fingers is because reading those comments pretty much led me to the same level of intensity – and results – shown in this video (thanks for the link, Toni_M!).

Watch and learn, people; watch and learn. 

Join in the Fray: What topics push your buttons enough to make you go from David Banner – to The Incredible Hulk?

Copyright © 2012 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, All rights reserved.

I’m participating in NaBloPoMo, which means I’ll be blogging every day during the month of November. Feel free to read and make comments! 

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Filed Under: Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: anger, Election Day, Facebook, ferocity, Finger, Fray, Michelle Matthews Calloway, political, politics, Pssst, rage, The Incredible Hulk, Twitter

What Works for Me

June 9, 2012 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 9 Comments

Seen on Twitter:

I want a relationship that works, or I don’t want one at all. The alternative is much too painful.

 A tiny Tweet, yet it speaks volumes. I’m pretty sure most of us not only concur, we can relate. It’s a simple concept; after all, who doesn’t want a relationship that works? Unfortunately, problems creep into our relationships because oftentimes we hold different ideas regarding what “works.”  A happy medium can be hard to achieve if one party in the relationship doesn’t understand that the best way to receive is to give. Having a relationship that “works” also doesn’t mean that we get to have our way at our partner’s expense. The goal of any compromise should be win-win, not win at all costs.

I’ve also found out the hard way that developing a relationship that works isn’t achieved simply because each person defined their boundaries and limitations, or established must-haves. It also isn’t achieved because we drew lines in the sand regarding those behaviors and situations we designated as deal breakers. For instance, what if one person decides (for whatever reason) to totally disregard everything you both spent time and energy to carefully create? It’s like using “time out” as a disciplinary tactic in child rearing: What happens if your kid decides he won’t go in time out?

Time out? Make me . . . .

I’ve come to the conclusion that in order to have a relationship that works, both persons have to be what they want in the relationship. Here’s a primer:

  • Be honest. That means be truthful – not only in what you say, but in who you are. My personal philosophy for entering a relationship is “what you see is what you get.” No pretending, no sugarcoating – I am who I am and it is what it is. I do this to assure you that you’re not meeting Dr. Jekyll, only to have Mr. Hyde show up later.
  • Be smart. In this instance, I’m not saying you have to be a Rhodes Scholar (though having a brain – and knowing how to use it – really helps. Just being honest). Being smart also means that even though you recognize and accept you imperfections, you’re smart enough to not use them as excuses for dumb behavior.
  • Be a team player. Even though that expression is tired and worn, the concept isn’t. Team players have enough sense to know what to do to get along with someone, namely, me. You + Me = Team Us. That means we both do what it takes to sink the basket, score the touchdown, make the goal, make the birdie or an eagle, roll a strike, and land a 20 pound bass. A striped one.
  • Be a lover. Wait, I’m not talking about that kind of lover  . . . (well, on second thought, I am; it’s just that I’m not talking about that right now. This page is rated PG-13, and I have to keep it on the level that my Mother can read it. Stop trying to confuse me. Ahem. Cough).
  • Be a lover. Be willing to love me the way I want to be loved. Please speak my love language,  because I promise I’ll speak yours. There’s no need to complain about our differences; instead, let’s make it a point to celebrate them. You being from Mars and me hailing from Venus is a good thing.     
  • Be fair. Don’t take my kindness for weakness, or try to use it to your advantage. I don’t know how to give less than 100%, so when I’m in, I’m in. Don’t allow me to keep giving 100% when you know you intend to only give 30%, or when you know my 100% is no longer what you want.                                                                                   Insert —–>Just man up and tell me<—— here.
  • Be a promise keeper. I cannot stress this one enough. If this seems like a no brainer, then let me introduce you to the scores of people who have found themselves on the receiving end of broken promises (sadly, ASwirlGirl would be included in that score). One of the best ways you can ensure you keep your promises is to be very judicious in making them. Don’t allow yourself to be pushed, strong armed, cajoled, or otherwise persuaded into making promises, and in like manner, don’t use these tactics to extract them. If you happen to learn that you will have to break a promise you made, then be big enough to say so. Articulate. Communicate. Talk, for goodness sakes.  In other words, Just man up and tell me.  Trust me, any disappointment you think I will feel will certainly be offset by your honesty.  

I’ve taken a lighthearted approach to this relationship business, but I dare not overlook the seriousness of the portion of the statement that said “the alternative is much too painful.” Yes. Being lied to is painful. Trying to deal with someone who refuses to push himself creatively or intellectually is painful.  Sustaining a relationship with someone who believes there is an “I” in TEAM is painful. Enduring willful, deliberate acts of unfairness is painful. Recovering from the hurt stemming from broken promises with no reason why IS. PAINFUL.   

I believe life is meant to be shared with family and friends. Being in a relationship with a special someone as you make life’s journey is even better. Most of us want to be with someone who agrees on, lives up to, and shares in the physical, spiritual, and emotional investment required for the journey. Someone who knows and understands that we each need to be that person to the best of our ability. Someone who doesn’t expect us to get it right every time yet appreciates the fact that we’re going to try. Someone who will give what they want to get. That’s what works for me.     

 

Join in the fray: Tell me, what “works” for you?   

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Black. White, Health, interracial, interracial relationships, Intimate relationship, love, men, Mental Health, Pain, Person, relationship, Tweet, Twitter, women

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Welcome!

I’m Michelle Matthews-Calloway, and I’m A Swirl Girl! Greetings to you from The Swirl World. We encourage Black women to expand their relationship options by dating and marrying interracially. Our overarching mission is to see Black Women live their best life. Come Swirl with us in The Swirl World™, where we celebrate Black women and the diverse men who love us!™

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