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The Swirl World

Celebrating and Elevating Black Women - mind, body, soul and spirit!


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New Month – New Goals!

July 31, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 4 Comments

keep-calm-and-set-new-goals

Why? Because August is coming in with a bang.

A New Month = New Goals and new activities the entire month.

  1. I’m taking Rosetta Thurman’s Powerful Goal Setting class.
  2. I’m starting a new eating plan in earnest – at least 1 green smoothie a day; meals that are 80%  vegan/vegetarian and 20% “regular.”
  3. I’m attending a festival every weekend!

There’s no time like the present to enjoy life.

Woot Woot!

Girls at Party

Join in the Fray: What are your goals for August?

I blogged every day in the month of July in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading – Whew!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

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Filed Under: NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: August, Black women, Black. White, BlogHer, dating, goal setting, goals, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, July, month, NaBloPoMo, new, swirling

What Kind Of Friend Are You?

July 29, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway Leave a Comment

Pretty woman portrait

I subscribe to a Goins Writer, a blog written and hosted by Jeff Goins.

This inspirational blog targets writers, and I’m happy to report that I’ve learned a great deal in the 1.5 years I’ve subscribed.

If you’re a writer, I highly recommend that you subscribe to Jeff’s blog – he’s friendly, approachable and shares worthwhile content and resources that will enrich your life.

Today Jeff posted a guest blog written by Jer Monson of Next Twelve.

I was so profoundly moved by Monson’s guest post on Jeff’s blog that I just had to share it with you.

The post is entitled:

“Friends Let Friends Dream Big Dreams”

To read the post, click here.

After you read the post, ask yourself the question: What kind of friend am I?

 

Join in the Fray: So, what kind of friend are you?

I’m blogging every day in the month of July in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

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Filed Under: NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black women, Black. White, Blog, BlogHer, Dream, Dream Sharing, friend, Goins Writer, guest blog, guest post, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, Jeff Goins, Jer Monson, NaBloPoMo, Next Twelve, positive change, positive energy, positivity, swirling

Why It’s Important To Make The Most Of EVERY Day

July 28, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway Leave a Comment

deadline

Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

Psalm 90:12 NIV

If you’re a fan of the radio show Kidd Kraddick in the Morning, by now you’ve probably heard he passed away suddenly at a golf tournament in New Orleans yesterday.

KIDD KRADDICK NOTICE

To say I’m stunned is an understatement – I’m heartbroken.

I started listening to Kidd’s show at a very tender time in my life; about a year after my husband’s death. I was at a very low point for a number of reasons. I came across Kidd’s show when I was radio surfing one morning after a sleepless night. I laughed until I cried – good tears, not sorrowful ones. I’ve been hooked ever since.

Kidd’s sudden and untimely death is a sobering reminder of why it’s so important to make the most of EVERY day. No, every day is not going to be filled with sunshine and we don’t sleep on the proverbial bed of roses.

Yet, each day we’re presented with 24 glorious hours.

This is a time that we can maximize; use to our advantage. We can elect to be positive instead of negative; see and walk through the open doors instead of whining and complaining as we stand motionless in front of the ones we view as shut.

We can allow ourselves to become paralyzed with fear or drown in a sea of excuses. We can fritter our time away with laziness, engulfing ourselves in pointless, time-wasting pursuits that add little or no value to our lives (Candy Crush Saga, anyone? IJS).

It’s important to make the most of EVERY day because we don’t know how many we have.

I’m sure no one would have made Kidd Kraddick, his family or we his fans believe that his total number of days would fall less than a month shy of his 54th birthday, which would have been August 22. Yet, he’s gone – and his days are up.

Thankfully, Kidd elected to make good use of his time, energy and resources, and leaves behind a legacy that now speaks for him.

I’m more determined than ever to make the most of my days. How about you?

Join in the Fray: What are you doing to make the most of each day?

I’m blogging every day in the month of July in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

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Filed Under: NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black women, Black. White, BlogHer, dating, death, diverse, dying, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, Kidd Kraddick, love, morning show, NaBloPoMo, radio, sudden death, swirling, untimely death

You Know You’ve Had A Good Time When . . . .

July 26, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 1 Comment

keep-calm-and-try-to-recuperate

You know you’ve had a good time when afterward, you need to r.e.c.u.p.e.r.a.t.e!

Last night’s soiree was off the chain! I had a blast at the Meet & Greet two weeks ago, so the actual event was the Meet & Greet on steroids.

Stars of Style Invite

Glitz and glamour everywhere – the women were gorgeous and the men even more so. (Tee hee hee!)

I can’t scoop my magazine and provide a lot of pictures, so I’ll be sure to follow-up with links next Friday when the issue hits the stands.

I’m HAPPY to report that I saw FOUR Swirl Couples last night.

Side Note: The event had over 450 people so that’s a relatively small ratio, but still. That’s far better than saying I saw ZERO Swirl Couples, right? Right.

I’m even HAPPIER to report that two of the couples were BW/WM Swirls – one older couple, and one younger. The other two were BM/WW couples.

Any who, I now need to recover from all that fun.

WHY am I still awake????

Young Girl Asleep on Pillow

Join in the Fray: What good times have you had this month?

I’m blogging every day in the month of July in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

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Filed Under: NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black women, Black. White, BlogHer, dating, event, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, interracial romance, Louisiana, NaBloPoMo, party, special occasion, swirling

How Interracial Dating/Marriage Has Evolved Over The Past Decade (Guest Blog)

July 25, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 1 Comment

Howdy!

My big event is tonight so I have a guest filling in for me today.

I’ll be back tomorrow to fill you in on all the deets. 

In the meantime, please give a Swirl World welcome to Swirler Marcela De Vivo!

Views on race relations in America have dramatically improved over the last several decades, and those improvements have been significant enough to change the way that we look at interracial marriage in our country.

In fact, interracial marriage has gone from being illegal (up until as late as 2000 in some states), to being culturally accepted and encouraged in our society. This is certainly a positive shift as these marriages are producing children that are blurring the lines between race, and causing it to be seen for what it is– little more than a societal construct.

But even up into the 1980’s and 1990’s, biracial marriage, though mostly legalized (it’s amazing that it wasn’t completely legalized by then), was considered in some to be places taboo, and in most places, strange and unusual at best.

couple

The bottom line is that few people would have considered it a “good thing”, which is a major difference between how our culture looked at interracial marriage then, and how we look at it now. Today, 15-percent of new marriages are between spouses of different ethnicity, which is a dramatic increase from the 6-percent in 1980.

This is a visible testament to the shift of public opinion we’ve seen over the past few decades, and suggests that we’ll see interracial marriage continue to evolve and expand in the decades to come.

Becoming Culturally “Normal”

While the legislative process took decades, the process of eliminating the cultural stigmas associated with interracial marriage is just now coming to a completion.

For example, despite the fact that interracial marriage was legal in 1987, it enjoyed a much poorer verdict in the court of public opinion, where only 48-percent supported dating between African Americans and Caucasians. That kind of number sounds crazy in our day, where 83-percent would now say they support interracial dating and marriage.

The major reason for that is because there was still a high percentage of the population who grew up in the 50’s and 60’s, when segregation was still a major part of American society. By the 80’s and 90’s, although those individuals were older, they were still able to shape our society. Those who were born in the 80’s and 90’s only see segregation in the history books, and almost universally view it as unacceptable and a stain on our country’s history.

Generational Gap

For example, when 18 to 29 years olds were asked if they thought interracial marriage was “a change for the better for society”, 61-percent of them said yes. When the same question was posed to those 65 and older, only 28-percent said yes.

These statistics show a distinct generational gap in the way younger people view race relations compared to how older people view them.

However, it also highlights a big reason for how and why things are changing in our society. Those older generations, as they begin to not have such a great impact on our society, are making up less and less of the population, and those who grew up without any racial bias are beginning to take the reigns of public opinion.

As that happens, multiracial marriage has increased both statistically, as well as in terms of popularity, and will continue to do so until mixed-race children make up most of the country’s demographic– some say as early as 2050. At that point, as more and more biracial children are being born, the racial makeup of our country will essentially be “reset”, where the line between white and black won’t matter nearly as much as it does today.

Human Beings Instead of Societal Constructs

While certain aspects of a race-based society have their place (ethnic backgrounds, heritage, music, culture, preferences etc.), categorizing people solely by race, which is ultimately not their only source of identity, marginalizes them as human beings, regardless of what race they actually are.

A society should view individuals, first and foremost, as human beings and citizens of the country they live in. Racially constructed societal barriers, whether they’ve been by way of the law, culture or popular opinion, at best have hindered, and at worst done significant damage to the relationships between individuals and different groups of people in America.

 

Marcela De Vivo Marcela De Vivo is a freelance writer, mother of three and business owner in Southern California. Over the past decade, she has noticed how much more accepting society is of interracial dating and marriage. She is even in an interracial relationship herself. Follow her on Facebook and Twitter today!

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Filed Under: Guest Blog, NaBloPoMo Challenge, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black women, Black. White, BlogHer, dating, History, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, NaBloPoMo, swirling

Keep Calm And Try On . . . .

July 23, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 8 Comments

keep-calm-and-try-on-55

 . . . .clothes, that is!

I’m attending a swanky event Thursday night so I’m making like Cinderella and trying on different outfits and jewelry.

Technically I’ll be working behind the scenes covering this event, but hey! Girls just wanna look nice while they work.

fashion show woman

Let’s see:

Outfit: Check!

Shoes: Check!

Jewelry: Check!

Makeup: Check!

Mani & pedi: Check!

Sense of anticipation: Check!

Readiness to get my Swirl on: CHECK!

Join in the Fray: What rituals do you follow in preparation for a social event?

I’m blogging every day in the month of July in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

 

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Filed Under: NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black women, Black. White, BlogHer, clothes, dating, event, Facebook, fashion, glamorous, glamour, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, NaBloPoMo, party, social, swirling

Try A Little Aggressiveness

July 22, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 10 Comments

upset woman

Came home after work today and was more than a bit annoyed to see that someone had taken the liberty of parking in my numbered space . . . again.

I’m one of the most laid back people I know. Still, I’m what my Grandmother described as “A real go-getter.”

My Mother says that I’m “a Matthews through and through.”

I’ve said it before: My Dad’s side is “loud and liberal” and my Mother’s side is “quiet and conservative.”

I believe I’m a good mixture of both. I’d further say that:

Live and Let Live + As Long As You Don’t Start Nothing Won’t Be Nothing = Me.

With that being said, after seeing that same car parked in my numbered spot again today – which made me have to park all the way on the end of the row instead of right in front of my nice new place . . . .

. . . .and the last time it happened (2 days ago) I had to walk to my unit with packages while it was raining . . . .

Let’s just say I’m not here for that.

Quick as a wink, I pulled a Post-It note from the dispenser on my desk and jotted this little note:

Post It 1

 

(the Unit number is edited, of course)

I was about to go affix it to the driver’s side window when I paused and asked myself:

  • Was I being too aggressive?
  • Was it going too far to put a Post-It on his window?
  • Should I be concerned about coming across as a “pain-in-the-neck” neighbor (even though he was being a “pain-in-the-neck” for me?
  • Should I forget this was now the 4th or 5th time this has happened (and I haven’t even been here three weeks yet)?
  • Should I just overlook the fact that we live in a very small “neighborhood” so everyone knows my car by now?
  • Should I disregard the fact that we all received the same parking rules (park in your numbered space + you have 1 extra space)
  • Should I just ignore the fact that this person knows he is parking in my space?
  • Should I be concerned about being viewed as a typical “Angry Black Woman” (even though 1-that’s what I was at the moment, and 2-I was pretty sure the guy in my parking space had no clue what that was)?

Side note: Seems to me that every week I’m encountering instances where Reading (or Counting) is Fundamental – and people are totally ignoring that fact.

That settled it – the answer to all of the questions above was a simple, “No.”

I went out the door and very politely placed the note on the window.

I’m not sure if he had an errand to run, or if he saw me (his blinds were open), but within 15 minutes, the vehicle was parked in the proper space.

When I left a couple of hours later to make a Starbucks run, this was affixed to my window:

Post it 2

Sometimes you just have to try a little aggressiveness.

Join in the Fray: When have you had to try a little aggressiveness?

I’m blogging every day in the month of July in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

 

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Filed Under: NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Uncategorized Tagged With: aggressive, aggressiveness, Black women, Black. White, BlogHer, conservative, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, liberal, loud, NaBloPoMo, park, parking space, quiet, swirling, unit, unit number

Asian Men / Black Women Persuasion

July 21, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 2 Comments

A shot of an asian student working on his laptop at the campus

Say what you will about Facebook, it’s home to some of the greatest groups and pages catering to people desiring to date interracially.

(It’s also home to some of the sleaziest interracial groups and pages . . .  I guess there’s something for everyone).

One of the good pages is Asian Men and Black Women Persuasion.

The Group’s “About” page has this to say:

We Are Showing The World The Beauty Of 
♥ Honey & Chocolate ♥

Once under the influence you are addicted !!!

AMBWP♥ is for:
Asian men that love some Black women
Black women that love some Asian men
Black and Yellow connection

Diversity is Learning!!! 

Wow!

I especially love the line “We are showing the world the beauty of Honey & Chocolate!”

Gotta love it!

AMBWP also has an Etsy shop where you can purchase merchandise catering to Blasian love.

ASIAN MEN BLACK WOMEN

Honey and Chocolate – sounds like a winning combination to me!

Join in the Fray: What’s your favorite “Swirl” combination?

I’m blogging every day in the month of July in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

 

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Filed Under: NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: Asian, Asian men, Black women, Black. White, Blasian, BlogHer, chocolate, dating, Facebook, honey, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, NaBloPoMo, swirling

To Meat Or Not To Meat?

July 20, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 4 Comments

knife about to cut the chicken burger

. . . that is the question!

Photo courtesy of Martha Stewart Living

Photo courtesy of Martha Stewart Living

I saw the killer photo of this sandwich from Martha Stewart Living on Facebook an hour or so ago and of course I clicked the website link they provided.

I was treated to recipes galore – all presenting food options that don’t require meat.

I’m all gung-ho about the vegan and vegetarian lifestyle, yet I’m keeping in mind that I have a ton of upcoming festivals to attend:

  • Delcambre Seafood Festival
  • Gueydan Duck Festival
  • Shrimp & Petroleum Festival
  • Pepper Festival

And that’s just in the month of August through the first weekend in September!

~Le Sigh.

I believe what I’ll have to do is a modified version of the vegan and vegetarian lifestyle; something like Vegan Before 6.

We’ll see.

Join in the Fray: To meat or not to meat? Any suggestions?

I’m blogging every day in the month of July in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

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Filed Under: NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Special, Uncategorized, Vegan & Vegetarian Tagged With: Black women, Black. White, BlogHer, dating, Facebook, fruit, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, lifestyle, lifestyle change, meat, NaBloPoMo, swirling, vegan, vegetables, vegetarian

Have You Tried This Yet?

July 19, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 7 Comments

Kozzi-cropped-image-of-african-woman-eating-ice-cream--883 X 588

Have you tried gluten-free pancakes???

My co-worker Barbara has been raving about gluten-free pancakes. Since I’m embracing a vegan/vegetarian lifestyle (I’m not all in yet; more on that near the end of the month), I decided to try them for myself.

I went out and purchased the ingredients. She always mentioned the gluten-free Bisquick mix and an egg, so that’s all I purchased the first go round.

It wasn’t till I got home and looked at the recipe on the box that I noticed I was missing some very key ingredients:

  • Milk
  • Cooking oil

NOTE: Check the recipe before you leave the store to make sure you have all the ingredients!

SIDENOTE: Can you tell it’s been a minute since I’ve cooked pancakes or waffles? How did I not remember I needed to add milk and oil?

Making this very bad mistake led to an even worse mistake: Going to Wal-Mart at 10:30 p.m. to pick up the two items, only to realize to my sad dismay that the world of Wal-Mart turns into an even stranger world after dark.

It was comforting, however, to learn that some things never change: Even after dark people still get in the “Speedy-Checkout-20-Items-Line” with 500 items.

I’m just saying.

Any who, after procrastinating all week I decided to take the plunge into gluten-free cooking and make these pancakes.

Let me add that Barb puts white chocolate chips in hers; I opted this time to put semi-sweet miniature dark chips in mine.

I also decided to be really brave and do unsweetened Silk Almond Milk (for the vegan in me) and some Eggland’s Best organic eggs (you know; for the vegetarian in me).

Another SIDE NOTE: I also purchased some vegan peanut butter for my peanut-butter-and-jelly-morning-breakfast-sandwich. Let’s just say that the “top note” of the peanut butter was some kind of oil that I later found out was flaxseed.

I’ve been going down Memory Lane this week – that “top note” brought me ALL THE WAY BACK to mornings in Germany when my Mother forced  a big heaping tablespoonful of cod liver oil down our throats. When we got older and threatened to run away from home if we had to take one more spoonful of that stuff, she exchanged the cod liver oil for Scott’s Emulsion – same difference, except instead of a clear oil, we were treated to a thick, white chalky liquid).

(Gagging)

(Throwing up in my mouth just thinking about it).

Ugh.

On a happier note, here are my ingredients, all together in one happy family:

PANCAKE INGREDIENTS

The ingredients were easy to mix, and after heating my oil (I suppose I should have used some Pam cooking spraybut hey! #dontjudgeme)

My first pancake came out looking like this:

PANCAKE 1

The second one was a little darker because my oil and pan were hotter (it was also a bit bigger). I tend to favor light pancakes; this is about as dark as I’ll go with them:

PANCAKE 2

They were actually quite good: Crispy edges; a light, fluffy texture and a little cakey. I didn’t miss the gluten (?) and I couldn’t tell I’d used Almond Milk instead of cow’s milk.

The semi-sweet chips added just the right touch of sweetness without being overpowering. I prefer butter or jelly on pancakes (I only resort to syrup if pancakes get cold). A little pat of organic butter finished them off:

PANCAKE FINISHED

All in all, this gluten-free-organic-vegan-vegetarian dish wasn’t too bad. I’m thinking next time I may add some Cajun seasoning, chopped spinach and broccoli for a savory version.

I’m going to visit The Parents tomorrow, so I plan to try these out on my partner in crime Dad.

Gotta get my skills sharpened back up for my Great Social Experiment, yanno?

Join in the Fray: Have you tried any gluten-free recipes yet?

I’m blogging every day in the month of July in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

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Filed Under: NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: Bisquick, Black women, Black. White, BlogHer, Eggland's Eggs, gluten, gluten free, gluten free pancakes, healthy, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, jelly, NaBloPoMo, Pam Cooking Spray, pancakes, peanut butter, swirling, vegan, vegetarian

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I’m Michelle Matthews-Calloway, and I’m A Swirl Girl! Greetings to you from The Swirl World. We encourage Black women to expand their relationship options by dating and marrying interracially. Our overarching mission is to see Black Women live their best life. Come Swirl with us in The Swirl World™, where we celebrate Black women and the diverse men who love us!™

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