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The Swirl World

Celebrating and Elevating Black Women - mind, body, soul and spirit!


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It’s OK To Be Zany – Zany Is Good!

April 18, 2016 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway Leave a Comment

 Zany Is Good

zany – za-ne

adjective
  1. amusingly unconventional and idiosyncratic.
    “zany humor”

A former coworker and professional associate of mine died recently. Nick was not a close friend but was a good guy and a talented meteorologist.

His life was cut short in a tragic way – I’ll spare the details. But suffice to say there were rivers of tears at his memorial service. Several family members spoke, and you could tell that they were just shattered.

But there was also laughter. A fellow meteorologist and close friend of the deceased delivered a short eulogy, the theme of which that Nick was “the proper amount of zany.”

But what did that mean, exactly?

The Proper Amount Of Zany

As his friend recounted, “Nick and I and Scott (another friend) got into the habit of playing cribbage on Sunday afternoon at a picnic table on the Decatur, Georgia courthouse grounds. All the while, we’d talk about the ups and downs of life.”

“Nick became very passionate about cribbage. One day he told us he’d started a blog on the game, because he’d done some checking and as far as he could tell, none existed. And there just NEEDED to be a cribbage blog.”

The Off-Kilter Approach

That slightly off-kilter approach extended to his professional life as well.

Right after a significant earthquake in Japan, his coworkers were trying to get information from the Japanese meteorological and science agencies. The trouble was, in the very early going, everything on their websites was in Japanese.

Suddenly, said his workmate, an email popped up from Nick. He was supposed to be enjoying a day off, but here he was on the computer at home. (Mind you, this was very early in the morning.)

Unprompted by anyone, he’d translated the bulletins into English and was passing them along. That was how his colleagues learned of his ability to speak several languages.

When I worked with Nick in our radio department, our morning shifts started at 3:30 a.m. The rest of us would stumble in, groggy, attend a meteorologist briefing and then head upstairs. We’d flee into our radio booths and close the doors, starting our day hermit-like while quietly and desperately slugging coffee.

Not Nick. His coffee substitute was 90s alternative rock. You could hear it trickle out of the closed door of his booth.  Suddenly, it would momentarily blast full-volume as he’d open his door, run down the hall to ask if we needed help on a busy morning with answering a forecast question, or just simply grin and say “What’s up?”

Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Swirling

So how does this apply to life, liberty and the pursuit of swirling?

I think we all need to consider incorporating a little more zany into our lives, and I think that done right, it’s a real conversation-starter and people-attractor.

I’m not suggesting anyone take up cribbage, but I think it’s worth exploring some new activity as a way of giving oneself a mental jolt.

Maybe it’s time to take that finger-painting class. Or to decorate your work cubicle with Mardi Gras beads and Star Wars figurines. Or take some bacon-flavored cupcakes across the street to meet that new neighbor you’ve only waved to in passing. The possibilities are endless.

It’s OK To Be Zany

Zany is good. Zany is interesting. And you never know, you might meet someone that’s “half a bubble off plumb” (as my blue-collar friends used to say) in the exact same way you are.

 

Mark WoolseyMark Woolsey is a veteran broadcaster, freelance writer and aspiring blogger. He enjoys writing for The Swirl World, so expect regular contributions in 2016!

 Essay Copyright ©2016 Mark Woolsey.   Photo of Mark Woolsey used with permission.

 

Copyright ©2016 Michelle Matthews Calloway, The Swirl World LLC , ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, The Swirl World Podcast™, The Swirl World Inspiration Daily™, Swirl Nation™, All rights reserved. Photo property of The Swirl World™.

 

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Filed Under: 2016, 2016 Posts, Black Women Living Well, BW/WM, Fantastic Fans, Fun & Games, Mark Woolsey Tagged With: Black women, fun, fun-loving, interracial couple, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, liberty, life, living well, love, Mark Woolsey, quirky, swirling, White men, zany

The One List Everyone Needs To Make

October 5, 2015 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 6 Comments

shareasimageWRITING_MW

I couldn’t find the quote online, but I thought I read somewhere, at some point, the notion that “gratitude is just disguised envy.”

Say What??

If indeed that statement was ever made (and I didn’t just manufacture it in my brain), nothing could be further from the truth.

The Gratitude List

Michelle’s recent post on gratitude led to be a bit of online research, some mulling over of things and an urge to talk about what’s come to be a valuable tool for me-The Gratitude List (capitalization intended).

I saw one online post that referred to enumerating things to be grateful for as a “gratitude adjustment” and that’s a term that really resonates with me. Each time I do it, I feel at least a tiny bit better about life.

Full disclosure here: I struggle with depression.

It’s chronic and I think it’s chemical in nature. I’ve had periods of feeling low since before I could put a name to what I am feeling. As I have progressed through adulthood, I’ve developed a toolbox of techniques that have helped me beat back the demons, including meditation, cognitive behavior exercises, working out, maintaining and growing my support system, being spiritual and yes, taking meds.

One of the weapons in the arsenal that has come along relatively recently is the gratitude list. The concept turned up in some self-help literature I was reading, and it was reinforced in a discussion with a buddy of mine over pizza. He has struggled with his own issues, by the way.

Making The List

So here’s what I do, and here’s my suggestion for the one list everyone needs to make. (Full disclosure: I don’t make my list nearly as much I should, or want to. Some days are insanely busy).

(1) Whenever time allows, I hand-write my list. It seems to engrave the message more firmly onto my brain

(2) I begin each point with: “I am so happy and grateful for”…as opposed to stating it once and then listing a bunch of bullet points. Mentioning happiness and gratitude anew each time I list a point links the concept of happiness/gratitude and what I am specifying more firmly.

(3) I really try hard for specifics, so that I’m not stating the same generalities over and over. Instead of “I am so happy and grateful for a loving and supportive partner,” how about “I am happy and grateful for a partner so loving that she made me stuffed green peppers (one of my favorites) for dinner after hearing that I had a lousy day at work.”

(4). Have a little fun with it, be silly. “I am so happy and grateful that for once, the guy in the next cubicle who smacks his lips while eating went to the break room instead of eating lunch at his desk. Peace and quiet and no feeling like I am next door to a pig feeding at a trough! (Hint: don’t show this to your co-worker).

It Works!

And it works. Last week I had one of those “worst days ever.” Hellish commute, forgot my lunch, mini-confrontation with a supervisor (no punches were thrown) and didn’t have time to make it to the gym. Time to make a gratitude list! And it really helped, along with a mini-meditation as I sat in my car before pulling out of the parking garage.

Join in the Fray: How do you express your gratitude? I’d love to hear some feedback.

 

Mark Woolsey is a veteran broadcaster, freelance writer and aspiring blogger. This is his second piece for The Swirl World – stay tuned for more!

 

Copyright ©2015 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, The Swirl World Podcast™, The Swirl World Inspiration Daily™, Swirl Nation™, All rights reserved. Photo property of The Swirl World™.

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Filed Under: Fantastic Fans, Guest Blog, Mental Health, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: depression, gratitude, Gratitude List, life, lists, living well, Mark Woolsey, Mental Health, Writing

Julian Bond, Barney Fife and Gomer Pyle, USMC

August 28, 2015 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 5 Comments

shareasimageJulianBond

How’s that for an unlikely juxtaposition? An iconic civil rights leader, a bumpkin and a blow hard.

Let me explain.

Midwestern Mindset

I was raised in the Midwest, in a small town near St. Louis. Our community was insular and lily-white. Outsiders weren’t especially welcome, particularly people of color, I am sorry to say. My family and a lot of kids in my school also bought into the whole notion that southerners were backward hayseeds who plowed with mules, walked around barefoot and didn’t have indoor plumbing. I remember Ed Wilson, the new kid in fifth grade, from someplace in Tennessee. Boy, did we ride him hard about his molasses-like drawl.

Our Opinion Of The South

And further re-enforcing that notion was Jim Nabors, AKA Gomer, a wide-eyed slack-jawed simpleton who eventually turned into a good Marine, but was a constant source of irritation to his hard-nosed drill instructor. The show was spun off from the Andy Griffith Show, which of course featured Don Knotts as Barney Fife, a clueless blowhard with delusions of grandeur. I watched both programs every week and bought into the stereotypes.

And yes, although I was not particularly politically aware up to that point, there were the George Wallaces and Lester Maddoxes of the world, with their mantras of hate. All that contributed to what I now realize was a prejudiced, skewed view of southerners as a whole.

Then along came Julian Bond.

A “New South”

I’m pretty sure the first time I became aware of him was when he was nominated for Vice President at the 1968 Democratic National Convention. He was smart, urbane and magnetic. Okay, and handsome, too. Watching him speak on the black-and-white TV in my bedroom made me realize that there was indeed a “new South” (a term just starting to come into vogue) and that people of color were to have a place at the table. Somewhat revolutionary notions for a sheltered kid barely into his teens.

Bond’s Impact

That look-see on TV – and all the other events of that momentous convention – spurred me to start reading about the civil rights movement, which hadn’t been on my radar much up to that point. The King and Kennedy assassinations earlier that year had already started the process, but from that point on, I became a political and current-events junkie.

And that helped start me down the road toward becoming a radio, TV and print journalist, a vocation that I still pursue today.

The Power Of A Lasting Legacy

I never got to meet or interview Mr. Bond, although I have been lucky enough to talk with other civil rights luminaries along the way. As an Atlanta reporter, I have interviewed his son Michael Julian Bond (an Atlanta city council member) several times, and worked with the younger Bond’s wife in a radio newsroom. Good people, both of them.

The memorial tributes for Bond have certainly made the main points of his life clear, from his days with the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee to serving in the Georgia House and Senate, his failed Congressional bid, his co-founding of the Southern Poverty Law Center and his longtime presidency of the NAACP. That track record makes clear his work ethic, commitment to the movement and ability to get things done.

But on occasion, what is “history” to most of us becomes “personal” to one of us. And sometimes that helps to change thinking and perspective. And for that, Mr. Bond, I thank you.

 

Mark Woolsey is a veteran broadcaster, freelance writer and aspiring blogger. This is his first piece for The Swirl World – stay tuned for more!

 

Copyright ©2015 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, The Swirl World Podcast™, The Swirl World Inspiration Daily™, Swirl Nation™, All rights reserved. Photo of Julian Bond licensed to The Swirl World™.

 

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Filed Under: Fantastic Fans, Guest Blog, Special, Special Guests, Uncategorized Tagged With: Barney Fife, Black. White, Gomer Pyle, guest blog, guest post, Julian Bond, Mark Woolsey

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I’m Michelle Matthews-Calloway, and I’m A Swirl Girl! Greetings to you from The Swirl World. We encourage Black women to expand their relationship options by dating and marrying interracially. Our overarching mission is to see Black Women live their best life. Come Swirl with us in The Swirl World™, where we celebrate Black women and the diverse men who love us!™

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