What KKK Can Teach Us About Love

May 5, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 2 Comments

No, we’re not talking about that KKK – we’re talking about Kyler and Katia Kline!

Kylar and Katia hiking on Cheyenne Mountain in Colorado

Despite the naysayers and despite the ugliness and ignorance surrounding a recent highly publicized, highly dysfunctional interracial “relationship” that has dominated the news, interracial relationships – devoid of the cray-cray – are thriving.

Black women are living well and more and more of them are enjoying their lives, thumbing their collective noses at the nonsense and the madness and demonstrating to the world what real love is all about.

These Black women are dating, marrying and building families. Many are married to men we call “warriors” – our military men who are on the front lines protecting our freedoms.

(And many of them are “warriors” themselves!)

This week we take a refreshing break from the dysfunction and the madness and bring you a wonderful couple who, despite the deployments that are the norm of military life, are happy and whole – loving each other and living life to the fullest.

Ladies and Gentlemen, meet Kyler and Katia Kline.

In most instances the wife fills out our interview questionnaire. But in the case of Kyler and Katia, Kyler wanted to be the one to share their very special story – and in so doing proclaim his love of Katia to the world!

Enjoy their beautiful pictures – and enjoy their love!

Where do you live?

We live in Clarksville, Tennessee, in the greatest nation in the world.

How long you have been together?

We have been together for four years, three of which we have been happily married.

What are the names and ages of your children and/or grandchildren?

We currently do not have any children, but have already picked out some names for when the time comes.

How/where did you meet?
We first meet in the 10th grade and became friends and stayed friends throughout the years.

She shared an apartment with a good friend of mine and while home on leave we started talking and spending time together, and with my irresistible charm and good looks we decided to keep talking long distance.

After 6 months we decided to make it serious, and 6 months after that she sacrificed her current life to marry and eventually come live with me in Colorado – something I will forever be grateful for.

What was your defining moment – that moment when you each knew you were in love?

We were at her apartment watching a movie together and we started holding hands. It was at this time I finally knew I was falling in love with her.

Then, when I was deployed to Afghanistan she sang, “You Are My Sunshine” to me. It was at this time I KNEW I loved her.

Our coming home kiss when my unit arrived home from Afghanistan – our first kiss in a year!

How did you families and friends respond to the news of your relationship?

My sisters were worried for their little brother as always and provided me with advice, yet they loved Katia and were happy and supportive of us.

My father was supportive of our relationship, but on hearing news that we wanted to get married expressed strongly that we at the age of 21 were too young to get married. He was extremely upset after hearing that we did get married but later approved of it after hearing words of wisdom from my Step-Mom. He then even offered Katia a room at his house while I was deployed.

My biological mom was of a different side and became slightly prejudiced. She did not expect to have her son dating a beautiful young Black lady; furthermore upon hearing of our engagement she expressed she wanted white grandkids. This was deeply upsetting to us.

But after getting to know Katia she began to love her and they are now close loving friends as mother and daughter in law, and even call each other regularly. My Mom also can’t wait for the cutest mixed babies the world will have ever seen!

Katia and I before we got married. She is holding my niece Elizabeth.

The majority of our friends were very happy and supportive, but some of my male friends had the suspicion that she may be a “Tag Chaser,” which is a person who wants to date a soldier for the benefits or nostalgia of it. Most people don’t realize how poorly soldiers get paid till they marry one. But after meeting her they realized she was a benevolent young lady who loved me for me, and were then supportive.

The Army’s birthday ball at Fort Carson

How did you handle it?

I followed my heart, and could not be happier that I did.

This is my favorite picture of Katia, which I kept on me at all times while deployed in Afghanistan

What do you like most about your mate?

Everything not to sound corny, but I love how kind and loving she is, her smile, how she can sometimes be a handful, that she’s out going and fun, her body. And most of all that she chose to spend the rest of her life loving me.

This photo was our honeymoon night. Unfortunately we couldn’t go on a real vacation because I was only home for two weeks and had to go back to Afghanistan.

What advice would you give to others who are interested in dating/marrying interracially?

I don’t see races, I only see many Americans of different cultures all of which I love. Unfortunately not everyone in America feels this way, so be ready for constant glares and judgment from others in public. This more so happens to my wife when I’m with her we only get glares and looks, most likely because of my size I tend to be intimidating.

She has even been attacked on face book before, being called many names. But we still publicly display how proud we are to be together and to be in love with one another.

Our first baseball game together at the Denver Colorado Rockies stadium. We found that baseball was to boring for us.

Anything else you believe is pertinent or just want to add?

We love your page and what it stands for!

THIS, Ladies and Gentleman, is what love is supposed to be like: Pure, proud and real. Thanks to Kyler for the service he provides to our country and thanks to Katia for being the wind beneath his wings!

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com.

How Do You Mend A Broken Heart? The Love Story Of Brad And Jamaica Miller – Part 2

April 23, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 4 Comments

Last week we gave you Part 1 of the story of Brad and Jamaica Miller, an interracial couple who shared their photos with The Swirl World Facebook page.

We enjoy sharing beautiful photos of couples, yet we’re always aware there is a story behind the photo – what were the circumstances bringing this couple get together? Where did they meet? How did they manage to fall in love?

One thing about life and love: Sometimes it doesn’t come wrapped in a pretty package, all neatly tied with a bow.

Sometimes life is convoluted and conflicting, yet somehow it all seems to work out in the end.

Try to remain judgment free.

Jamaica continues:

Who was on the line? My now-husband Brad trying get his Mack on!

He’d seen me at the mall and gotten my number from one of my friends. He proceeded to say, “Hey, didn’t I just see you at the mall?”

Not knowing who the man was, I replied, “No, I’m sure of it. There’s no way.”

He says, “Are you sure?”

When I said yes, he said, “You must have a twin as beautiful as you – she walked right past me in the mall!”

He sent me a friend request on Facebook and was honest about the fact that he was interested in me but my guard was up wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy high from all the hurt and pain I’d been through. I knew he was interested in more, but I told him that I was going through a divorce and could not move forward with anyone until and unless it was final.

Of course in the back of my head I wished I was completely free but I detached myself from Brad and told him we could never be anything more. Right after that, Brad was deployed to Korea.

During the midst of it all I prayed to God and asked, what is this??? Here’s this man who seems really nice and could be all a girl could ever want for a man and husband.

I said this can’t be your work because I’m still married and I know you forbid this behavior. I was seeing all of what Brad was and I prayed that my husband could be that type of man too.

So, even though I was confused as ever, I became even more determined to try to work things out with my husband.

Three months pass by, and then I looked up and a more than a year had passed. In that time my marriage hadn’t gotten any better and my husband was still just going from woman to woman. I was still one foot out the door seeing no nope.

Orders come up that my husband is getting stationed back in Kentucky. I was sad to leave my church home, friends and my sisters. I wanted to stay right there, which I could have done, but my heart I believed God was saying, “Go; just trust me.”

It was then early December 2012, and we were back on the road to Kentucky. We stopped off to visit family in South Carolina.

On December 25 I was in bed crying about how unhappy I was. All I wanted was for my husband to love me – this was the story of my life. It was Christmas and all he had done was leave me behind at the house – again.

Suddenly there was a loud knock at the door. Someone rushed in to tell us my husband had been in a car accident. My heart was racing with mixed feelings – Lord . . . ?

We get to the scene and it was a sight to see: I had been crying about my husband leaving me at home, but if he’d taken me with him, that would’ve been me in the passenger seat – lifeless.

His best friend died on impact. My husband, who was driving, had broken ribs and head trauma. His cousin, who was in the back seat on the right side, had his face cut open.

We were now stuck in South Carolina and traveling back and forth to Fort Jackson. I’m praying, Lord why??? What are you telling me??? All I could hear was “Just trust me.” I instantly thought, ‘Till death do us part,’ and soldiered on.

I nursed my husband back to health, listening to his many cries to the doctors of “Where’s my wife? I need her here!” He was in ICU and the times were limited when I could visit.

One trying month passed. I thought the accident was a sign to keep working at my marriage, but nope. As soon as the doctor cleared him to take it slow and get back to living, he left me at his Mom’s house and took a flight back to Colorado to be with another woman – three days before my 26th birthday.

The texts and lies continued until finally a video of him in the act confirmed it all. I said, “Lord you told me to trust in you, but this can’t be it right?

March came and I couldn’t wait to get home to family. My sisters could tell something was wrong. They know Kentucky isn’t home for me. Even so, I kept saying I was fine.

April came and my husband was seeing yet another woman. I called my sisters in Christ and let them know nothing had changed; they reminded me of the Lord’s vision of marriage. I got what was to be my last phone call from one of my husband’s women and told that woman, “You can have him.” I filed for divorce again, and this time I meant it.

Stay tuned for the final installment in Part 3.

Join In The Fray: Have you ever stayed too long in a dead-end relationship? What finally made you call it quits?

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com.

The Shocking Truth About The Plenty Of Fish Dating Site

December 18, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 31 Comments

Of all the online dating websites out there, I’d say Plenty Of Fish – POF – gets the worst rap.

Women complain about the jerks, scumbags and sleaze balls that troll around on that site looking for fresh meat like jackals in the wild.

Time would not allow me to tell you of the horror stories I’ve heard and read – guys posting “birthday suit” profile photos, obscene pickup lines and other gross, classless foolery.

So much foolery that POF is often referred to as POS.

(IJS).

Despite these discouraging tales, the shocking truth about the Plenty Of Fish dating site is that people are actually finding love.

Yep – people. are. finding. love. on. Plenty. Of. Fish.

Not just love – interracial love.

Swirl love.

A few weeks ago we were treated to a video of David Mazur and Andrea Ellis, a Swirl couple who met on POF and won a $100,000 grand prize toward their dream wedding.

We’d be happy for any couple who won, but we have to admit that we were especially happy that a Swirl couple won that huge prize. They represented – not only for POF, but for Swirl couples worldwide.

Not Convinced? We’ll Make A Believer Out Of You

We posted a question on The Swirl World’s Facebook page and asked our fans if they used POF.

In light of POF’s bad reputation, the results were surprising.

Meet Chassitie and Josh Thornton.

They met on Plenty Of Fish.

Here’s their story in Chassitie’s own words:

My husband and I currently live in Fairbanks, Alaska – his current duty station. In Fall of 2014 we will be moving to Yelm, Washington (his home town) for our next duty station – Fort Lewis.

We have been together for 13 months. We officially met the day after my birthday.

We currently have no children at all but would like to start our family when he returns from his current deployment. We want at least 3 children (I want five though! lol).

How They Met

It was a few days after I moved to Fairbanks, with my best friend, from my hometown in California. We met through a message on POF.com. It was a social website for people trying to find friends or a date. My overall goal was friends. I grew up in a small town in northern California and was a tomboy who always hung out with the guys. So having just moved I wanted to make some friends.

I wrote him telling him about having just moved and that I was looking for friends to hang out with and hike, play video games or watch movies with. He wrote back. We talked for a day or two about our hobbies and interests and then I gave him my number. We made plans to hang out, but never got around to an actual day. Then for some reason I can’t remember I just stopped talking.

Then came my birthday. I was out getting my hair done when he texted me to wish me a happy birthday. It was then that I asked him if he wanted to hang out – I wanted to look at outdoor gear and camping stuff.

So the next day he came and picked me up. We went to the Sportsmans’ Warehouse and walked around for a bit talking about outdoor stuff and camping trips and things we wanted to do.

I don’t know when exactly it happened but sometime within the next 24 hours I knew we couldn’t be “just friends.”

So we started dating.

Their Defining Moment (When They Knew They Were In Love)

Chassitie: I knew I loved him a little over a week after we first met. We spent every moment that he wasn’t at work together. I knew I had feelings for him before then but later I was certain I loved him when we took our first shower together. We just held onto one another. I felt so comfortable and so safe and so secure. And I’ve never felt like that with anyone before.

Josh: My wife and I have this thing we do where we reminisce on the moments of our relationship, and one of the questions that comes up is when I knew I loved her. The answer is always the same. I knew I loved her the moment we met. But she was the first to say it.

What They Like Most About Each Other

Chassitie: I love his sensitivity, his softness, his strength, his understanding and his patience. But above all, I love that he is family oriented. Family is the biggest priority in my life.

Josh: Her strength. Our first year of marriage was hard because we faced – I faced – a few personal hardships. But she was always there for me, she was my rock. She always knew exactly what to do or what to say to make me feel better and put a smile on my face.

The Advice They Would Give To Others

Chassitie: My biggest piece of advice would be, Don’t be afraid to take chances or step outside your comfort zone.

Josh: Just be yourself. I never tried to impress my wife. When we first met I was wearing Wranglers and a t-shirt.

More To Come

For those of you who are still skeptical, we have something for you: More couples.

Stay tuned; the next three couples we’re featuring have something in common besides their Swirl status:

They all met on Plenty Of Fish.

We’ll share some of their vetting tips, and they’ll tell you how they managed to navigate the shark-infested waters of ~~POS~~ POF and find the love of their lives.

In the meantime, for some “Come to Jesus vetting tips” we wholeheartedly suggest that you check out Eugenia Berg’s Married Girl In A Weird World blog.

Eugenia did an awesome series entitled “Dating In The Age of Dumba$$es – Online Dating” Vetting Redux.” Click here for Part 1 and here for Part 2.

Swirl on.

Join in the Fray: Are you currently on an online dating site? Which one(s)? What have been your experiences?

What KKK Can Teach Us About Love

Like this:

How Do You Mend A Broken Heart? The Love Story Of Brad And Jamaica Miller – Part 2

Like this:

The Shocking Truth About The Plenty Of Fish Dating Site

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