We enjoy sharing beautiful photos of couples, yet we’re always aware there is a story behind the photo – what were the circumstances bringing this couple get together? Where did they meet? How did they manage to fall in love?
One thing about life and love: Sometimes it doesn’t come wrapped in a pretty package, all neatly tied with a bow.
Sometimes life is convoluted and conflicting, yet somehow it all seems to work out in the end.
Try to remain judgment free.
Who was on the line? My now-husband Brad trying get his Mack on!
He’d seen me at the mall and gotten my number from one of my friends. He proceeded to say, “Hey, didn’t I just see you at the mall?”
Not knowing who the man was, I replied, “No, I’m sure of it. There’s no way.”
He says, “Are you sure?”
When I said yes, he said, “You must have a twin as beautiful as you – she walked right past me in the mall!”
He sent me a friend request on Facebook and was honest about the fact that he was interested in me but my guard was up wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy high from all the hurt and pain I’d been through. I knew he was interested in more, but I told him that I was going through a divorce and could not move forward with anyone until and unless it was final.
Of course in the back of my head I wished I was completely free but I detached myself from Brad and told him we could never be anything more. Right after that, Brad was deployed to Korea.
During the midst of it all I prayed to God and asked, what is this??? Here’s this man who seems really nice and could be all a girl could ever want for a man and husband.
I said this can’t be your work because I’m still married and I know you forbid this behavior. I was seeing all of what Brad was and I prayed that my husband could be that type of man too.
So, even though I was confused as ever, I became even more determined to try to work things out with my husband.
Three months pass by, and then I looked up and a more than a year had passed. In that time my marriage hadn’t gotten any better and my husband was still just going from woman to woman. I was still one foot out the door seeing no nope.
Orders come up that my husband is getting stationed back in Kentucky. I was sad to leave my church home, friends and my sisters. I wanted to stay right there, which I could have done, but my heart I believed God was saying, “Go; just trust me.”
It was then early December 2012, and we were back on the road to Kentucky. We stopped off to visit family in South Carolina.
On December 25 I was in bed crying about how unhappy I was. All I wanted was for my husband to love me – this was the story of my life. It was Christmas and all he had done was leave me behind at the house – again.
Suddenly there was a loud knock at the door. Someone rushed in to tell us my husband had been in a car accident. My heart was racing with mixed feelings – Lord . . . ?
We get to the scene and it was a sight to see: I had been crying about my husband leaving me at home, but if he’d taken me with him, that would’ve been me in the passenger seat – lifeless.
His best friend died on impact. My husband, who was driving, had broken ribs and head trauma. His cousin, who was in the back seat on the right side, had his face cut open.
We were now stuck in South Carolina and traveling back and forth to Fort Jackson. I’m praying, Lord why??? What are you telling me??? All I could hear was “Just trust me.” I instantly thought, ‘Till death do us part,’ and soldiered on.
I nursed my husband back to health, listening to his many cries to the doctors of “Where’s my wife? I need her here!” He was in ICU and the times were limited when I could visit.
One trying month passed. I thought the accident was a sign to keep working at my marriage, but nope. As soon as the doctor cleared him to take it slow and get back to living, he left me at his Mom’s house and took a flight back to Colorado to be with another woman – three days before my 26th birthday.
The texts and lies continued until finally a video of him in the act confirmed it all. I said, “Lord you told me to trust in you, but this can’t be it right?
March came and I couldn’t wait to get home to family. My sisters could tell something was wrong. They know Kentucky isn’t home for me. Even so, I kept saying I was fine.
April came and my husband was seeing yet another woman. I called my sisters in Christ and let them know nothing had changed; they reminded me of the Lord’s vision of marriage. I got what was to be my last phone call from one of my husband’s women and told that woman, “You can have him.” I filed for divorce again, and this time I meant it.
Stay tuned for the final installment in Part 3.
Join In The Fray: Have you ever stayed too long in a dead-end relationship? What finally made you call it quits?
Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved. Photos used with permission.