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The Swirl World

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Guest Post: Living Life In Turkey

February 18, 2016 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 3 Comments

It’s Travel Thursday!

Today’s guest post hails from our girl Rachel Robinson, an HR executive who Swirls and travels the world.

In this post, Rachel gives the back story on her early days of living in Turkey.

 Sometimes . . . Life Changes

I was living in Sacramento, CA with my now ex-husband and our two toddler-aged daughters. I remember my husband coming home from work and telling me that he had some bad news. When you’re married to a member of the military you learn rather quickly that those words translate to “your life as you know it is about to change.”

The Bad News . . . Became Good News!

I had only heard every other word as he spoke but when he had finished talking I gathered that “we” were moving to Turkey in 90 days. The thought of moving to a foreign country was exciting. Traveling abroad had always been a childhood dream of mine and that dream was about to come true.

Accompanied with my excitement there was a bit of sadness. It hit me that I would have to say goodbye to friends and family as we set out on a 3-year long assignment.

The next 90 days were very stressful and filled with very detailed tasks each having a specific deadline. The tasks include filling out passport applications, scheduling vaccinations, preparing for household items and the vehicle to be packed and shipped, among other things.

I fulfilled these sudden obligations, all while reading everything I could get my hands on that pertained to Izmir, Turkey. The more I learned about the country the more excited I became. I was ready to experience all Turkey had to offer!

Arriving In Turkey

I remember our flight landing and all of the passengers started applauding and cheering. (I would later learn that this happened on all flights landing in Turkey). Walking through the airport was overwhelming because I couldn’t understand a word that was being spoken and it seemed as if everyone was yelling.

Once we retrieved our luggage we located the driver assigned to drive us to our hotel where we would be staying until we found a place to live.

Although this was a military assignment there was no designated military housing for service members and their families. As a result, we lived among Turkish nationals – which had proved to be challenging for some.

Living In Turkey

Within weeks of arriving in Izmir we moved into an apartment that provided the most amazing view to the Aegean Sea. The view was beautiful! Our neighbor and landlord Seçil was a very friendly woman with the gift of gab, a retired physician who had adult children living in the States.

Seçil spoke English fluently and she was very instrumental in helping me and my family settling in. it was like having our very own tour guide every step of the way.

After we settled into our apartment we hired a nanny to take care of our daughters during the day.  My husband reported to his duty assignment and I immediately started my job search.

I soon learned that there weren’t many job opportunities available to military spouses. I enrolled in a Turkish language class and insisted on learning the language. I wanted to be able to do more than just order dinner or say “Good morning” and “My name is.” I had a desire to speak the language fluently and eventually, I did!

Making Friends

During my search for employment, I became friends another African American woman named Marilyn. Her husband was also an active duty military member and their family had recently moved to Turkey from Germany.

I learned a lot from Marilyn. She had been living abroad for 10 years so she was a wealth of knowledge.  Marilyn and I were both hired as part time English teachers for an all-boys military school.

Feeling The Love

It didn’t take long for us to realize that Turkish men are very attracted to Black women. And they’re very vocal about it but never disrespectful.  When Marilyn and I weren’t working we would venture out into the city during the day while our husbands were working and kids were with nannies and in school.

There was never a dull moment and I relished in every experience anticipating the next. Every day was truly an adventure! We would often catch a ferry to the Greek island of Chios for lunch and shopping.

Follow Me, Please!

One evening Marilyn and I decided to check out the nightlife and we went to a popular club on the Marina. Just like any popular spot in the United States, there was a line to get in.

There we were standing in line talking and laughing when a tall gentleman dressed in all black walked over to us and in English says “Follow me please.”

Marilyn and I exchanged glances with one another and followed him to the entrance of the club.  Before the gentleman opened the door he informed us that the owner wanted us to be his special guests for the evening and that he had a table for us.

Totally shocked, we were escorted to a table near the dance floor, where there was a bottle of red wine and two wine glasses waiting for us. After pulling out our chairs, the gentleman opened the bottle of wine and filled our glasses.

At this point, I’m thinking the owner has us confused with someone else. I wanted to speak but Marilyn was giving me this look as to say “Don’t mess this up!” So we made a toast and took a drink.

Not long after that, we were approached by another gentleman who introduced himself as Tarik, the owner of the club. He told us that we had an open invitation to come to his club anytime we wanted.

We did revisit Tarik’s establishment and each visit was better than the last.

This treatment became pretty common but never expected.

Historical Sites . . . And More Travel

Aside from the flattering hospitality I received, I thoroughly enjoyed learning the history of Turkey. We visited historical sites such as the beautiful city of Ephesus where the Temple of Artemis (one of the Seven Wonders of the World) is found. We also toured the House of Virgin Mary and visited the hot springs in Pamukkale that are believed to have healing powers as well as the Sardis Synagogue that dates back to the 3rd century A.D.

While living in Turkey, we traveled quite a bit as a family. On our first vacation, we visited Germany for Christmas because our daughters had never seen snow.

We visited Paris in the Spring and London during the Summer months. In addition, there was so much for use to see and do locally without having to venture out too far from our home. In the summer, we would spend weekends at a local resort surrounded by black sand beaches.

Here are some photos of  the ruins in Ephesus, one of the 7 churches mentioned in the bible in Revelation. The other photos are of the House of the Virgin Mary in Ephesus.

Living Life In Turkey


 Living Life In Turkey

Immersed In The Culture

Every weekend I set out to create new memories with my family. We were fully immersed in the Turkish culture; so much, in fact, my 3-year-old daughter refused to speak English and only communicated in Turkish!

Those three years of living abroad was a time in my life that I will always cherish. It reminded me that dreams do come true no matter how old the dream is.

 

Join in the Fray: When has “bad news” turned into good news – or a blessing in disguise?

 

Living Life In TurkeyRachel Robinson is a Human Resources executive whose job requires extensive travel.

She will be featured in an upcoming podcast.

This is Rachel’s second travel blog for The Swirl World – stay tuned for more! To read Rachel’s first post, “I Dream Of Traveling,” click here.

Copyright ©2016 Michelle Matthews Calloway, The Swirl World™, LLC , ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, The Swirl World Podcast™, The Swirl World Inspiration Daily™, Swirl Nation™, All rights reserved. Photos courtesy of Rachel Robinson. Used with permission.

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Filed Under: 2016 Posts, Black Women Living Well, BW/WM, Fantastic Fans, Interracial Families, Military Couples, Travel Tagged With: culture, Ephesus, Germany, Izmir, Pamukkale, Rachel Robinson, Sardis Synagogue, Temple of Artemis, turkey, Turkish

Learn The Secrets Of Australian Men

November 25, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 3 Comments

Simon Baker.

Simon Baker

Eric Bana.

Eric Bana 2

Hugh Jackman.

Hugh Jackman Face

Keith Urban.

Keith Urban

Chris Hemsworth.

Chris Hemsworth

Liam Hemsworth.

Liam Hemsworth

I could go on, but lest we all go into major sensory overload I’ll stop right there.

So, what do all these men have in common – besides pure, HOTT, hunky gorgeousness?

Hugh Jackman Body 1

(What? I have to prove my point! And just a FYI, if you want to see some AWESOME eye candy, check out Eugenia Berg’s Pinterest Boards, Lawd Have Mercy. When you do, just make sure you have a cool drink handy. IJS!)

*Refocusing*

What these men have in common is that they’re Australian.

Yes, Australian.

Not only them, but thousands of other men who vary in looks, height, weight, temperament, personality – a veritable smorgasbord,  if you will.

And you know what? Many of them are open to Swirling!

How do we know this, you might ask?

Well, over at The Swirl World on Facebook we’ve been fortunate to make an “Australian Connection.”

That’s right – we have become cyber-friends with Mike, a native of Western Australian who reached out to us to let us know how much he enjoyed the page:

Hi guys, just want to thank you for making this page . . .  I am a white guy from Western Australia, and I have always been attracted to Black girls/women. At my first school social I danced with a girl from South Africa, and I never forgot it, or her. I have met and dated a lot of girls, but I never fall as hard as I do for black women.

(Smart guy, that Mike!)

Our guy Mike is willingly allowing us to ask him a million questions pick his brain in a new feature on The Swirl World that we’re calling Mondays With Mike.

Mike is going to give us insight into the mind of Australian men – dating practices, preferences, likes, dislikes and cultural norms.

He will give us a bird’s-eye view of Australia – up close, and personal.

Who knows? Keep an open mind, you never know where “something new” will take you . . . . .

Something New 01

If you have a question for Mike, inbox us on our Facebook page, send us an email at ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com or post it here in the comments section.

Mondays With Mike. 

From Australia, to you – with love.

Keep Swirling.

 

Join in the Fray: Are you open to dating someone who lives in another country? Why or why not?

All rights reserved. All work is the copyright of the respective owner, otherwise copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, Dallas, TX, USA.

 

 

 

 

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Filed Under: Announcements, Mondays With Mike, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: Australia, Australian, Australian men, Black women, Black. White, culture, customs, dating, Facebook, insight, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, interracial romance, secrets, swirling

Fried Alligator and Boudin Balls, Anyone???

October 24, 2012 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 7 Comments

This past weekend I had the distinct pleasure of attending the 76th International Rice Festival in Crowley, LA. For those of you who may be unfamiliar with Louisiana culture, the state’s Department of Tourism reports that Louisiana holds over 400 festivals every year – and is “often called the Festival Capital of America.” The New Orleans Times Picayune  puts it this way:  “If you can eat it, drink it, play it, dance to it or ogle it, there’s a festival for it in south Louisiana. Probably this week.”

With that being said, the Rice Festival provided a delightful expression of diversity in two forms that really matter: People and food! These festivals seem to be the time that everyone pretty much put aside any race-centered or ethnic differences and instead become Louisianans who want to have a good time.

Yep, there was plenty of Swirling going on:

 

Where else in the world can large crowds of Blacks and Whites (with good sprinklings of Asians and Latinos mixed in) listen to and enjoy music like this:

And not only that, DANCE to it: 

AND, in addition to the fried alligator and spicy boudin balls, enjoy a good serving of pig feet or tripe?

This gentleman proudly told me I couldn’t take a photo unless he was in it!

(I purchased some wonderful homemade pralines. My cousin bought a bowl of pig feet – they were seasoned to perfection and delish! Yes, I eat pig feet – don’t judge me).

The truly adventuresome were able to help themselves to good ole helpings of squirrel, rabbit, or shark. Gotta try that shark next time . . . . .

 Join in the fray: What’s the most exotic food you’ve ever eaten? Would you be willing to try fried alligator, boudin balls, squirrel, or shark?

Copyright © 2012 Michelle Matthews Calloway, A Swirl Girl™, All rights reserved.

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Filed Under: Festivals and Events, Uncategorized Tagged With: Alligator, Arts, Arts and Entertainment, Cajun, Creole, culture, dancing, entertainment, International Rice Festival, Louisiana, New Orleans, New Orleans Times Picayune, swirling, Times-Picayune, United States, zydeco

The Hair Thing (Part 2)

April 8, 2011 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 2 Comments

So in my last blog I discussed the cultural differences in men’s preferences in sporting facial hair. In American Men and Identity: Contemporary African-American and Latino Style López-Gydosh and Hancock (2009) stress the importance of hair, beards, and mustaches to men in both African American and Latino cultures. SM was willing to grow a mustache and beard to let me see what he looked like (GOR-GEOUS!!!!). He didn’t mind growing it, but beards and mustaches are not conducive to his professional environment. Even though I totally understood, I was a little bummed that he’d have to cut his beard at a moment’s notice.

Once I began investigating and recognizing the intrinsic influence culture wields on an individual’s thinking and preferences, I better understood why I thought a man’s facial hair made him more desirable or even sexy. Lesson learned. SM and I are now more attuned to what we call “culturalisms.” We’re having fun learning even more about each other (and ourselves) as we discover and identify the culturalisms that influence our thinking.

So, on to the million-dollar question:

What does SM think of my hair???

Well, fortunately for SM (and me) I have no facial hair!

[Sidebar: I am FDLOL! Come on, you should have known that was coming! Corny? Of course!]

For those readers who may be unaware, natural hair is undergoing a renaissance among Black women. A Black woman’s hair is considered “natural” when she adds no chemicals to change the texture. In other words, she leaves it the way it grows out of her scalp  – be it fine, thick, kinky, coiled, curly, dense – you name it. Generally speaking, White women use a “perm” to make their straight hair curly. Conversely, Black women use a “perm” to make their curly or kinky hair straight.

Now, when it comes to a Black woman, wearing your hair natural doesn’t necessarily mean you have to sport an afro. Au contraire! Those same fine, thick, kinky, coiled, curly, dense textures provide us a vast range of hair styles we can wear based on an equally vast range of styling techniques. Braid-outs, twist-outs, knot-outs, puffs, coils, curls, and locs abound – and those are just a FEW of the available styles!

In other words, I can wear my fine, naturally curly, shoulder length hair blown out and flat-ironed one day, and in a curly twist-out the next day. When I asked SM what he liked and even preferred, he said,

“Oh, I like your hair straight, but I really like your hair curly.”

[Sidebar: Yes, he put special emphasis on the “really.”]

SM smirking

SM not only likes the way it looks, more important, he says he likes the way I act and seem to feel when I wear my hair in its natural, curly state. He says that I seem more relaxed and carefree. He says he also notices changes in my clothes, jewelry, and makeup.

[Really???]

According to SM, when I wear my hair curly I also use very minimal makeup (except for bright lipstick) and wear brighter colored clothing coupled with bolder, funkier pieces of jewelry.

“When your hair is curly you have more ‘swag,’” he says. “And I LOVE it!”

[More “swag?” Really????]

I thought about what he said, and came to the conclusion that he’s right. I know I have a more “take me as I am” attitude when I’m in my natural, curly glory. (And it helps that I don’t have to worry about the humidity level or whether it’s raining outside – the more moisture in the air, the curlier I get).  Wearing my hair curly also makes me feel a bit more “Afrocentirc,” if you will, hence the bolder, funkier jewelry and brighter colors. Is this a result of cultural influences? Perhaps. I think mainly it’s more a sense of feeling freer to be myself and express my personality.

I also believe when I say “more Afrocentric” what I really mean is more “me-centric.” Hence, what I learned from the whole Part 1/Part 2 hair thing is that SM and I each enjoy each other’s looks in surprising ways and for different reasons. Ultimately, we support each other in the expression of our cultures and who we are individually, whether we’re mustached or clean-shaven, straight or curly. Our hair thing works in our favor – and that’s what counts.

Reference

López-Gydosh, D., & Hancock, J. (2009). American men and identity: Contemporary African-American and Latino style. The Journal of American Culture, 32(1), 16+. Retrieved from Questia database: http://www.questia.com/PM.qst?a=o&d=5035416077

Join in the fray:

Curly or straight? Tell me about your hairy situation!

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: afro, afro puffs, Black. White, braid out, coils, culture, curly, ethnic, interracial, kinky, knot out, knots, men, mustache, natural hair, twist out, women

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Welcome!

I’m Michelle Matthews-Calloway, and I’m A Swirl Girl! Greetings to you from The Swirl World. We encourage Black women to expand their relationship options by dating and marrying interracially. Our overarching mission is to see Black Women live their best life. Come Swirl with us in The Swirl World™, where we celebrate Black women and the diverse men who love us!™

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