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The Swirl World

Celebrating and Elevating Black Women - mind, body, soul and spirit!


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How To Fall In Love And Get Married – Even After A Bad First Date!

January 24, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 2 Comments

We currently have almost 6900 fans on The Swirl World’s Facebook page. The conversations are lively and fans are generous with their “Likes” of our posts.

Because our fans are so terrific – we have the BEST Facebook fans, bar none – today we are launching a new feature:

Fantastic Fans!

Each Friday we’ll share a mini profile, funny story or experience highlighting one of our fans.

For our inaugural launch, we introduce to you Karla and her husband Don.

Karla and Don

Karla and Don are an amazing retired military couple (Navy) who met on active duty. They recount the story of their first date – each from their own point of view!

Our First Date Story:

Karla: My husband and I had been working together for about a month. Our conversations had been wonderful, humorous, educational and witty. Unlike most Naval aviators, he didn’t have the arrogance nor was he pompous. The zipper on his flight jacket had broken so he asked if I could repair it. He knew I could sew and had a sewing machine that could work leather. When I gave it back, he asked if he could repay me by taking me to dinner. I said yes.

Don: I knew how I felt about her when I met her but she kept talking about arrogant Naval aviators. I had to figure out a way to get her out to dinner without making it sound like a date (even though it was!). She agreed to repair my jacket and I, in the meantime, asked around to find out where the best restaurant was located. We were at a Naval base out in the boonies of Dahlgren, Virginia; not exactly a dating paradise. Someone told me about a seafood restaurant in Stafford, VA so I made a reservation there. I knew Karla loved seafood.

Karla: I was impressed with his manners. He opened my car door for me and we set off. I was living in Fredericksburg, at the time so Stafford was about ten minutes down the interstate. We finally found the place and, needless to say, I wasn’t impressed. It was out in the middle of nowhere, dark, and the “parking lot” was a dirt space covered with gravel and one naked light bulb hanging over it. The place was basically a roadhouse; the country-western music was so loud, it went beyond the walls of the place. I turned to Don and said, “If I don’t see any other Black people in here, we’re leaving.” It just looked like the stereotypical hangout for something really bad.

Don: As soon as I pulled into the “parking lot”, I wanted to kick myself; I knew I shouldn’t have listened to the guys at work. It looked like the headquarters for the KKK. I thought because it was near Quantico Marine Corps base, it would be fine but it was a “joint”. I felt like an idiot, taking her there on our first date but didn’t know what else to do. When she gave me fair warning, I felt even worse. I wanted to turn around, right there, but she said we had to chance it. She was trying to cheer me up!

Karla: We walked into the place and, yeah, it looked like a honky-tonk. We were about to turn and leave when the server came out and said, “Hi, y’all! Come on in! Two for dinner?” She was very friendly and welcoming. When we got to the dining room, both of us were relieved to see a diverse group eating and drinking in the place, chatting with each other and looking happy. It wasn’t a seafood place but the food they had was pretty good. Don was a complete gentleman, pulling out my chair, ordering for me off the menu, very solicitous. After dinner, we decided to go and see a movie. I wanted to stay in his company a while longer.

Don: I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw the restaurant wasn’t complete disaster. Like Karla said, the food was good and her company was so amazing, I wanted to be with her as long as possible. When we arrived at the Cinema DeLuxe, the only movie that had just started was “Home Alone’. Strike two. I couldn’t believe my bad luck. How was I supposed to impress her sitting in a kid’s movie? I had been hoping for something romantic. When I asked her if it was okay, she said yes! Woot-woot!

Karla and Don: So, we saw the movie and we laughed until we cried. It was fun. Despite everything, our first date was a blast. We dated for three years and then married. We’ve been married for almost 21 years now and every anniversary, we eat at the restaurant of our dreams (definitely not the “joint”!) and we watch “Home Alone”. We can laugh about it now.

 

 Karla and Don, we’ll take a “bad” first date every time – especially when it leads to a marriage of 20+ years!  😉

Join in the Fray: Have you ever had a “bad” date that turned out to be good?

 

ASG 191 x 200 ASwirlGirlWant to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

All rights reserved. Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, Dallas, TX, USA. Story and photo used with permission.

 

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Filed Under: BW/WM, Fantastic Fans, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black women, Black. White, Don, Facebook, fantastic fans, first date, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, interracial romance, Karla, military, Navy, swirl, swirling

Ever Really Loved A Black Woman?

January 13, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 1 Comment

 

Remember the song “Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman?” by Bryan Adams?

Oh, that song was so deep – the lyrics accurately detailed what it takes to really LOVE a woman.

If you have never heard the song, you may want to give it a listen.

If you have heard the song and love it as much as I do, let’s take a little break and bask in its splendor:

http://youtu.be/hq2KgzKETBw

Whelp, it’s time for another edition of Mondays With Mike, and this one is particularly special.

One of the things we enjoy about Mike is his unabashed admiration for Black Women.

When we began corresponding with him on the Facebook page, he told us,

“I am a white guy from Western Australia, and I have always been attracted to black girls/women. At my first school social I danced with a girl from South Africa, and I never forgot it, or her. I have met and dated a lot of girls, but I never fall as hard as I do for Black women.”

(Smart man, that Mike!)

We recently learned that every Sunday, Mike faithfully – and avidly – participates in a Twitter chat that uses the hash tag #BlackGirlSunday.

During that chat, Black Women and the men who love them share Instagram photos, blog links, YouTube videos, shout outs and everything else in between – and all to the admiration, respect and love of Black Women.

Not only does Mike participate in this worldwide conversation, he also writes poetry to the women on the chat!

That’s right – poetry.

Beautiful, inspired, delightful poetry – all within Twitter’s 140-character limit!

Mike told us that one of his favorite muses is @MissLJay20.

She graciously agreed to let us share a few of her photos.

MISSLJAY20 4

Now, she and Mike aren’t dating or anything like that; he simply appreciates the beauty she represents as a Black Woman.

(And she appreciates the poetry!)

Here are a couple of examples:

Fierce mane & flashing eyes, wicked clothes & savage guise, fiery heat, frenzied fire, burning dark desire

Winsome wary watching eyes, speckled as starry skies, so radiant and clear, to make so bright seem so near

 MISSLJAY20 1

And this one, of which he says,

Poem Before Sleep

If I were to be a thing, named as any other I should be a cup, to hold as much I could before running over

MISSLJAY20 6

Here are a few other poems written for Ladies participating in #BlackGirlSunday:

Hair cascades before the light,

A smile edifies a joyous heart,

But beautiful eyes hold the measure of the soul

—

Picture playful for us to see

Sets you with cherubic smile

But eyes light so wickedly

—

Heartstruck in one motion

Senses reeling from the blow

Blessed by naiad vision

Thy heart holds more to know

—

Has anyone ever penned a poem for you?

As a special treat to our Facebook fans and blog subscribers, Mike will write a poem just for you!

To receive a poem, follow Mike on Twitter @500and50 and send him a Tweet saying you read this post. You can also post a message right here on the blog, and he’ll reply with a poem. Woot Woot!

Keep Swirling.

Join in the Fray: What does it take for someone to really love YOU?

MIKE MIOCEVICHFollow Mike on Twitter @500and50, read his blog at 500and50.com, or message him on his 500and50 Facebook page.

Got questions for Mike? Send them to us via inbox on Facebook or email them to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

All rights reserved. Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, Dallas, TX, USA. Photos used with permission.

 

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Filed Under: Mondays With Mike, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black Girl Sunday, Black women, Black. White, dating, Facebook, hash tag, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, interracial romance, MissLJay20, poem, poetry, swirling, Twitter

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

December 25, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 3 Comments

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Merry Christmas to you and yours!

Adrienne and I are on hiatus from the blog and The Swirl World on Facebook until January 6, 2014.

We’ll be back next year with more couples, more stories and more news from our pal Mike in Australia.

We have more foreign connections in the works – more gentlemen who will give us Swirling news from far-flung places including Scotland and New Zealand.

Expect a potpourri of posts designed to inspire, entertain, educate and inform you concerning all things Swirling.

Look for us in 2014 – we’re going to be bigger and better than ever!

Till next year, Swirl on.

Join in the Fray: What are you doing to get your Swirl on during the holidays?

All rights reserved. Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, Dallas, TX, USA.

 

 

 

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Filed Under: Announcements, Special Tagged With: Australia, Black women, Black. White, Christmas, dating, Facebook, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, love, Merry Christmas, Mondays With Mike, New Zeland, Scotland, swirling

We’re Spending Christmas In Australia With Mike!

December 23, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway Leave a Comment

big camera hides mans face

Um, virtually, that is.

Members of The Swirl World can’t be there in person, but that doesn’t mean we can’t have a first-hand view of what Christmas is like in Australia.

In his last post for 2013, Mike answers the question: “What it’s like to spend Christmas in Australia?”

City of Perth Christmas Tree

City of Perth Christmas Tree

Ahh, Christmas, there’s nothing quite like it. Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, yule log burning in the hearth, snowball fights and hearty roasted meals. A time for slogging through cold weather to reach loved ones, and snuggling up together before a warm fire; sleighs and reindeer, and all that wonderful nonsense.

Well put paid to those ideas because in the Southern Hemisphere it’s Summer time, so that means shorts, t-shirts, BBQ’s, beer and sports for Christmas!

PERTH BEACH BOYS

Beach boys: Paul O’Connell, Tommy Bowe and Jonathan Davies strut their stuff at City Beach in Perth. Picture: PA Photo [Source]

There was once a time when Australia felt closest to England, where we tried as hard as we could to emulate their Christmas traditions. So a goose for Christmas, chestnuts, a Yule log (if you were particularly crazy) and a hell of a lot of roast meals. Poor Mums across Australia would have been fainting in the kitchen from all of that heat!

Then as our cultural mix changed, so did our habits. We stopped putting on all the pomp and ceremony, dropped the heavy clobber (clothes) for more utility wear of shorts or jeans and short sleeve shirts, and started eating things more in tune with the season.

Santa still is around in the shopping centres for the kids, but wearing a more loose-fitting lighter red suit. The beard and the hat stays though, so I am sure they’re glad that they’re inside in air-conditioned stores while they work.

Baby, It’s Hot Outside!

This year’s Christmas Day in Perth is going to be 30ºC (86ºF), so you can appreciate why we don’t get as formally dressed up. One year it was 44ºC  (111.2ºF), which was hot enough to kill the spiders which used to hide up on the transparent verandah (patio) roof. Thankfully it was too hot to go outside, but we absolutely baked in the heat. I think the East Coasters are going to cop it this year, according to the forecast, which will be interesting as they are nowhere near as acclimatised to the heat as us West Coasters are.

Mike’s Family Traditions

So Christmas foods for us and traditions have to revolve around things more appropriate for summer. This means BBQ’s and seafood for lunch, cold salads and other dishes, and perhaps a small roast meal in there as well (though not as often as before).

My family’s traditions have changed over the years. Mostly it’s the same as anywhere – We all piled into a car to go visiting relatives, eat far too much food, laugh way too loud before piling back into the car to visit another relative’s house.

Families across Australia usually have people over for lunches and dinner, blokes standing around cooking a BBQ and telling tall tales, the kids playing sports or running around with far too much sugar in them, and the ladies sitting and chatting amongst themselves with a nice glass of wine. We’re often very relaxed as to how it all goes.

No Cash? No Problem!

Often people don’t have a lot of cash to spend on holidays away, and to be honest we don’t really need to go that far. 90% of us live on or near the coast, and that means a ton of parks, beaches and other great free locations to go to for the day.

For those who go to a park or the beach (which often happens as it’s a great time to be out amongst other people), several families who might not know each other will get together to play cricket, kick a football around or go swimming. It becomes a communal event, and a great place to meet new people or just have fun outdoors.

The Yugoslavian traditions we used to have meant that in the year a massive gathering was organised, you could count on the most succulent lamb, and pig slow cooked on a spit that you’ve ever had in your life.

This was when a lot of the extended group used to live out in the Swan Valley area, with massive farm blocks the kids could run wild on, and everyone have a great time just catching up with one another. Unfortunately, due to the war back in the 90’s fracturing the Yugoslavian community (everyone is now Croatian, Serbian, Bosnian, etc.) and the moving away of family members, it’s not really happened as much since. If there is one thing I would like to resurrect, it’s definitely this style of gathering.

A White Christmas? Not!

I’ve always wanted to experience a white Christmas, but I have to say, being able to get around easily, not deal with inclement weather, and to go outside to enjoy the outdoors or have a swim at the beach or play cricket in the park is an absolute joy at Christmas.

There are definitely times when you wish you had a snowball ready to cool yourself or someone else down with, but for the most part it’s a really wonderful time of year to be having a celebration. The closest analogy I can make is our Christmas celebrations would be much akin to the 4th of July celebrations in the USA. Perfect time of year to be getting out and visiting people, eating way too much and generally having a great time.

See You Next Year

I’d just like to say thanks to everyone here at the Swirl World, especially the hosts Michelle and Adrienne, for the wonderful opportunity of being an Ambassador for Australia to you all. You inspire me greatly and have made me feel very warm and welcomed. Wishing the best for all of you and your family’s this year, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you one and all! I’ll be sending warm thoughts out to you from Down Under to keep those winter chills away! Have a great one and I look forward to talking to you all again in the New Year!

Cheers!

Mike

MIKE MIOCEVICHGot questions for Mike? Send them to us via inbox on Facebook or email them to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

We’ll be back January 6, 2014 with more Mondays With Mike!

Follow Mike on Twitter @500and50 and read his blog at 500and50.com, or message him on his 500and50 Facebook page.

 

Join in the Fray: Where are you spending Christmas this year?

All rights reserved. Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, Dallas, TX, USA. 

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Filed Under: Mondays With Mike, Uncategorized Tagged With: Australia, Black women, Black. White, Christmas, Christmas celebration, Christmas dinner, dating, Facebook, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, Mike, Monday, Mondays With Mike

The Shocking Truth About The Plenty Of Fish Dating Site

December 18, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 31 Comments

Of all the online dating websites out there, I’d say Plenty Of Fish – POF – gets the worst rap.

Women complain about the jerks, scumbags and sleaze balls that troll around on that site looking for fresh meat like jackals in the wild.

Time would not allow me to tell you of the horror stories I’ve heard and read – guys posting “birthday suit” profile photos, obscene pickup lines and other gross, classless foolery.

So much foolery that POF is often referred to as POS.

(IJS).

???????

Despite these discouraging tales, the shocking truth about the Plenty Of Fish dating site is that people are actually finding love.

Yep – people. are. finding. love. on. Plenty. Of. Fish.

Not just love – interracial love.

Swirl love.

SHOCKED FACE

A few weeks ago we were treated to a video of David Mazur and Andrea Ellis, a Swirl couple who met on POF and won a $100,000 grand prize toward their dream wedding.

We’d be happy for any couple who won, but we have to admit that we were especially happy that a Swirl couple won that huge prize. They represented – not only for POF, but for Swirl couples worldwide.

Not Convinced? We’ll Make A Believer Out Of You

We posted a question on The Swirl World’s Facebook page and asked our fans if they used POF.

In light of POF’s bad reputation, the results were surprising.

Meet Chassitie and Josh Thornton.

Chassitie and Josh Photo 1

They met on Plenty Of Fish. 

Here’s their story in Chassitie’s own words:

My husband and I currently live in Fairbanks, Alaska – his current duty station. In Fall of 2014 we will be moving to Yelm, Washington (his home town) for our next duty station – Fort Lewis.

Chassitie and Josh Photo 4

We have been together for 13 months. We officially met the day after my birthday.

We currently have no children at all but would like to start our family when he returns from his current deployment. We want at least 3 children (I want five though! lol).

How They Met

It was a few days after I moved to Fairbanks, with my best friend, from my hometown in California. We met through a message on POF.com. It was a social website for people trying to find friends or a date. My overall goal was friends. I grew up in a small town in northern California and was a tomboy who always hung out with the guys. So having just moved I wanted to make some friends.

I wrote him telling him about having just moved and that I was looking for friends to hang out with and hike, play video games or watch movies with. He wrote back. We talked for a day or two about our hobbies and interests and then I gave him my number. We made plans to hang out, but never got around to an actual day. Then for some reason I can’t remember I just stopped talking.

Then came my birthday. I was out getting my hair done when he texted me to wish me a happy birthday. It was then that I asked him if he wanted to hang out – I wanted to look at outdoor gear and camping stuff.

So the next day he came and picked me up. We went to the Sportsmans’ Warehouse and walked around for a bit talking about outdoor stuff and camping trips and things we wanted to do.

Chassitie and Josh Photo 5

I don’t know when exactly it happened but sometime within the next 24 hours I knew we couldn’t be “just friends.”

So we started dating.

Chassitie and Josh Photo 7

Their Defining Moment (When They Knew They Were In Love)

Chassitie and Josh Photo Kiss

Chassitie: I knew I loved him a little over a week after we first met. We spent every moment that he wasn’t at work together. I knew I had feelings for him before then but later I was certain I loved him when we took our first shower together. We just held onto one another. I felt so comfortable and so safe and so secure. And I’ve never felt like that with anyone before.

Chassitie and Josh Photo 8

Josh: My wife and I have this thing we do where we reminisce on the moments of our relationship, and one of the questions that comes up is when I knew I loved her. The answer is always the same. I knew I loved her the moment we met. But she was the first to say it.

Chassitie and Josh Photo 10

What They Like Most About Each Other

Chassitie: I love his sensitivity, his softness, his strength, his understanding and his patience. But above all, I love that he is family oriented. Family is the biggest priority in my life.

Josh: Her strength. Our first year of marriage was hard because we faced – I faced – a few personal hardships. But she was always there for me, she was my rock. She always knew exactly what to do or what to say to make me feel better and put a smile on my face.

Chassitie and Josh Photo 11

The Advice They Would Give To Others

Chassitie: My biggest piece of advice would be, Don’t be afraid to take chances or step outside your comfort zone.

Josh: Just be yourself. I never tried to impress my wife. When we first met I was wearing Wranglers and a t-shirt.

Chassitie and Josh Photo 6

More To Come

For those of you who are still skeptical, we have something for you: More couples.

Stay tuned; the next three couples we’re featuring have something in common besides their Swirl status:

They all met on Plenty Of Fish.

We’ll share some of their vetting tips, and they’ll tell you how they managed to navigate the shark-infested waters of POS POF and find the love of their lives.

In the meantime, for some “Come to Jesus vetting tips” we wholeheartedly suggest that you check out Eugenia Berg’s Married Girl In A Weird World blog.

Eugenia did an awesome series entitled “Dating In The Age of Dumba$$es – Online Dating” Vetting Redux.” Click here for Part 1 and here for Part 2.

Swirl on.

Join in the Fray: Are you currently on an online dating site? Which one(s)? What have been your experiences?

All rights reserved. Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, Dallas, TX, USA. Photos used with permission.

 

 

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Filed Under: BW/WM, OPEL, Uncategorized Tagged With: Alaska, Black women, Black. White, California, Chassitie, dating, deployed, deployment, Facebook, interracial, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, Josh, military, online dating, online dating sites, Plenty of Fish, POF, POS, swirling, Thornton

Is A Baby In Mike’s Future??

December 9, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 4 Comments

big camera hides mans faceLast week we kicked off our Mondays With Mike series and introduced you to writer and blogger Michael Miocevich (My-oh-see-vitch), a native of Western Australia who is now our guide to Swirling in Australia.

(Mike also lends us his brain and lets us pick it at will).

In his first post Mike received three questions, one of which was to tell his idea of a fun date.

Whelp, Mike’s response generated this follow-up question from a fan on our Facebook page:

“I wonder how Mike feels about women with children?  Is that deal breaker? It seemed like his perfect date would be for a women with no children and free time to spend a whole day (not knocking it but I have two boys who come first). I just wonder if this isn’t even considered when looking for a mate . . .  Sorry I’m soap boxing :: steps down::”

This is quite a legitimate question, particularly because dating with children is a reality for millions of singles. I forwarded the question to Mike as fast as my little fingers could type it.

So, hmm . . . . Is a baby in Mike’s future?? What followed is Part 1 of his very thoughtful response:

CRYING BABY BOY 1

“This can be an interesting but also sometimes a hard topic to talk about. Some men can be rather apprehensive, as often while they can relate to the woman they are dating, they might feel a gulf between them and her children. This is more a psychological barrier than anything. The man doesn’t know exactly what role he should play, and also might worry about the notion that he might be seen as someone who is supplanting the child’s biological father. This can be rather conflicting, and I have seen marriages being broken up early due to the intervention of kids vs their parents new husband/wife. I have seen this both in relationships of divorced men and divorced women, so there is no finger of blame being pointed here. If this is noticed early on, with the children not getting along with the new partner, it really does need to be addressed as soon as possible.

Other times it can be the wrong thought for men that if they were to date a woman who has children from another relationship, that immediately they would be expected to provide for those children as well, when what they want is freedom and fun to develop a relationship with someone who is unattached or has no children. This is a rather selfish way to go through things in life, always wondering what people are trying to get from you. Often the women who these men could date and have children already are quite used to providing for their children, and aren’t expecting their new beau to walk in and be immediately put on the spot for financial help. It would be my hope that if a person did date and fall in love with someone who has children, that they would offer to help out as a gesture of love. It says he cares for you and your children, even though they aren’t his biologically. A man is going to have to face up to this eventually, so if he doesn’t think he can manage it, he’s better off not stringing someone along, thinking that he’ll eventually come around to it.

So where do I stand in all of this? I’m 38, so I am kind of on the fence in regards to starting a family with someone I meet. On the one hand I might have left it too long, as I’d like to be the kind of guy who spends times with his children and is active with them, rather than being too tired after working to do so, and leave them to be raised by the TV. On the other hand, who says that this should be the case? If I were to meet the right person, why couldn’t my life be structured to have a decent job, but time available to spend with my wife and children? These are questions that can really only be properly sorted out once I have met that special person who is right for me. It’s got to be a joint decision. Trying to plan out things exactly how you want them to happen is an exercise in futility. Better to have broad plans that move you forward and are able to accommodate any curve balls thrown your way.

As for dating women who already have children, I don’t see why not! If we are lucky enough to make a connection with someone who excites us, challenges us, is great to be with and who you don’t know if you could be without, I don’t see why them having children would be such a barrier to having a relationship with them. The above preconception is something a lot of people automatically make as they have no experience of such situations. I would be prone to them myself as I have only dated women who were previously single and without children. To be honest perhaps I was too limited in my view of what a fun date would be because of it. Another limitation is that my place isn’t that huge, so dating a woman who has children and is looking to emigrate to Australia might be a touch difficult as I don’t have a lot of space for more than one other person. This is likely to be something which changes in the future, but at the moment it is likely to be a factor. However, as with all things, any problems will have a solution.

In which case a date with a women who has children might involve a day at the museum (the American Museum of Natural History is absolutely fantastic and I could have spent days there when I was in NYC) or a visit to a park for a picnic. If we go to a park I am going to have to pack a cricket bat and ball so we can have a hit before lunch (yes, I am going to hold on to my Australian sporting identity darnit!). A nice lunch and a walk around the park while the kids go roughhousing nearby. Pack it all up and head to the movies (at a cinema or at home) for something light-hearted and pants-wettingly funny, or even do so at home on the couch. If I have been dating the woman for some time, then reading the kids a story before bedtime, or even make up one of my own for them would be really cool. Then the rest of the evening can be spent talking and being together on the couch, conversations of everything and nothing, and sweet kisses before parting.”

Stay tuned for Part 2, where Mike gives us insight into what a man thinks when he considers dating a woman with children.

MIKE MIOCEVICHGot questions for Mike? Send them to us via inbox on Facebook or email them to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Follow Mike on Twitter @500and50, read his blog at 500and50.com, or message him on Facebook.

Join in the Fray: What are your thoughts on dating someone with children?

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

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Filed Under: Mondays With Mike, Special Tagged With: Australia, babies, baby, Black women, Black. White, Blog, blogger, child, children, dating, deal breaker, Facebook, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, love, Michael, Michael Miocevich, Mondays With Mike, swirling, Western Australia, white

Mondays (And Dates) With Mike

December 2, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 6 Comments

big camera hides mans faceLast Monday we enjoyed a veritable feast for the eyes with the “Men From Down Under” – Australian men who make our hearts skip a beat and send us ladies on mental trips to Fantasy Island.

We introduced you to our own Michael Miocevich (pronounced My-oh-see-vitch). Mike lives in Western Australia and cheerfully agreed to serve as our guide to Swirling in Australia.

(He also agreed to give us a first-hand view into the male mind. Think about it: Who better than a man to tell us how a man thinks??)

In addition to being an all-around good sport Mike is a writer and blogger. If you love delightful prose and poetry (yes, he writes poetry!) check out his blog here.

We put the call out for questions and started receiving immediate responses.

This week’s questions are from Chongo, one of our fans in The Swirl World on Facebook.

NOTE: Chongo’s questions (in red) and Mike’s responses (in blue) are unedited.

Hi TSW!

Happy Thanksgiving. 

My name’s Chongo (Chit) and I’ve been reading your blog and FB page for months (about a year). I’ve been interested in interracial dating & relationships since primary school when my first crush was a cute soft-spoken white boy called Michael. I like men of all races and nationalities and your page is a great space for eye candy, articles and normalising love across colour lines. So thank you for this amazing space – it is serious, fun and everything in between and outside.

 I read about your ‘Mondays with Mike’ from the blog and I’m sending in my questions.

Hello Mike, thanks for enabling this form of interaction. Here are my questions: 

1. Do your family and friends know about your attraction to black women? If affirmative, what was their reaction? Does their reaction (positive or negative) matter to you?

Pretty woman portrait

Hi Chongo, great to make your acquaintance!

Here are the answers to your questions; as good as I can make them.

1 – A few of my friends know, as I have told them, but my family I haven’t. This is not because I am afraid nor ashamed of liking who I like, it’s just that my parents and siblings made things incredibly awkward for me when I was growing up. Any hint of liking a girl meant that they couldn’t help but blurt it out to her while I was standing there, making me go bright red and both of us feel awkward. Another reason is that my siblings have had complicated relationships with the people they went out with (and married) over the years, and a lot of that drama that happened was played out in front of the family. I prefer to keep my relationships close to my heart. In the end it’s myself and the person I am with who matter, not the opinions of anyone else.

These days I think my relatives would likely say “about time!” if I showed up to a family gathering with a girl, and I very much doubt they would care what ethnicity she was. If they had a negative reaction I would be upset, because they wouldn’t be the people I thought they were. However, I don’t think this will be a problem. I’d also let my family know to mind their P’s and Q’s if I were to bring anyone along, regardless of where she was from. I am sure my siblings would give me those kind of knowing looks about the fact I had introduced someone to them, and possibly pull dumb faces and go ‘ooooo-oooh!” when I was near them, but I think they’d get over it  I suspect they’ve been waiting a long time to hassle me about such things and are going to take every opportunity to make me uncomfortable about having a girlfriend there as much as possible, but that’s the price the youngest in the family usually has to pay.

2. What’s your greatest curiosity about black women (bearing in mind we are not a monolith) or what is the one thing you are most curious about vis-a-vis black women? 

2 – An interesting question, and I hope my answer doesn’t come off as pandering or trite. I wonder why some men from different ethnic groups don’t appreciate black women for the wonderful jewels they are. I can’t fathom it myself. I’ve been talking to Michelle, and she has linked me to the song by the Doors called “Hello”, which Jim Morrison wrote after seeing an incredibly gorgeous black woman, but not having the confidence to talk to her. He says as much in the lines “Do you hope to make her see, you fool? Do you hope to pluck this dusky jewel?” I have lived far too long in that mindset, thinking that black women did not want anything to do with white guys (mostly misinformed by TV, movies and music I have to say), but broke the habit some time ago. I guess perhaps a lot of the guys have the same hang-ups I had, in as much as they think they’ll be rebuffed instantly. A lot of the time guys are shy in approaching anyone, but I do hope in the future men of all groups will take the chance and be accepted in return. I’d love to see more of that.

3. What is your idea of a fun date? 

3 – I’d love to spend an day in a place where lots of art and creativity is on display, with all kinds of artists showcasing their talents. Take brunch or lunch at a nice restaurant and discuss what has been seen, and the general small talk about anything which is so fun to have. In the afternoon watch a live band, take in a play or an enjoyable movie, or be content to wander amongst trees and nature in a park. As the sun goes down find a spot for a picnic and toast the last rays of the sun as they disappear over the horizon, and be graced with a wonderful display of colour with the sunset. At night a moonlit walk along the beach holding hands, combined with acting the fool in the low surf as it hits the shore, and a dreamy kiss under the stars. That would be a good day. A very good day.

 

And there you have it, folks – straight from the mouth of our man Mike in Australia. Special thanks to TSW fan Chonogo for submitting those questions.

MIKE MIOCEVICHGot questions for Mike? Send them to us via inbox on Facebook or email them to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Tune in next Monday for more Mondays With Mike!

You can follow Mike on Twitter @500and50 and read his blog at 500and50.com.

 

Join in the Fray: What do you think of Mike’s description of a “fun date?”

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

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Filed Under: Mondays With Mike, Uncategorized Tagged With: 500and50, Australia, Australian, Australian men, Black women, Black. White, blogging, Chongo, dating, Facebook, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, interracial romance, love, Mike, Mondays, poetry, questions, swirling, United States, Western Australia, Writing

Learn The Secrets Of Australian Men

November 25, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 3 Comments

Simon Baker.

Simon Baker

Eric Bana.

Eric Bana 2

Hugh Jackman.

Hugh Jackman Face

Keith Urban.

Keith Urban

Chris Hemsworth.

Chris Hemsworth

Liam Hemsworth.

Liam Hemsworth

I could go on, but lest we all go into major sensory overload I’ll stop right there.

So, what do all these men have in common – besides pure, HOTT, hunky gorgeousness?

Hugh Jackman Body 1

(What? I have to prove my point! And just a FYI, if you want to see some AWESOME eye candy, check out Eugenia Berg’s Pinterest Boards, Lawd Have Mercy. When you do, just make sure you have a cool drink handy. IJS!)

*Refocusing*

What these men have in common is that they’re Australian.

Yes, Australian.

Not only them, but thousands of other men who vary in looks, height, weight, temperament, personality – a veritable smorgasbord,  if you will.

And you know what? Many of them are open to Swirling!

How do we know this, you might ask?

Well, over at The Swirl World on Facebook we’ve been fortunate to make an “Australian Connection.”

That’s right – we have become cyber-friends with Mike, a native of Western Australian who reached out to us to let us know how much he enjoyed the page:

Hi guys, just want to thank you for making this page . . .  I am a white guy from Western Australia, and I have always been attracted to Black girls/women. At my first school social I danced with a girl from South Africa, and I never forgot it, or her. I have met and dated a lot of girls, but I never fall as hard as I do for black women.

(Smart guy, that Mike!)

Our guy Mike is willingly allowing us to ask him a million questions pick his brain in a new feature on The Swirl World that we’re calling Mondays With Mike.

Mike is going to give us insight into the mind of Australian men – dating practices, preferences, likes, dislikes and cultural norms.

He will give us a bird’s-eye view of Australia – up close, and personal.

Who knows? Keep an open mind, you never know where “something new” will take you . . . . .

Something New 01

If you have a question for Mike, inbox us on our Facebook page, send us an email at ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com or post it here in the comments section.

Mondays With Mike. 

From Australia, to you – with love.

Keep Swirling.

 

Join in the Fray: Are you open to dating someone who lives in another country? Why or why not?

All rights reserved. All work is the copyright of the respective owner, otherwise copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, Dallas, TX, USA.

 

 

 

 

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Filed Under: Announcements, Mondays With Mike, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: Australia, Australian, Australian men, Black women, Black. White, culture, customs, dating, Facebook, insight, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, interracial romance, secrets, swirling

I’m Ph.inisheD! (Among Other Things)

September 7, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 6 Comments

PHD

Whew!

If you’re my Facebook friend you’ve already heard the news.

I promised I had an announcement to make, and here it is:

I can now sign my name a:s

Michelle Matthews-Calloway, Ph.D.

Or, Dr. Michelle Matthews-Calloway

Or, Dr. Michelle

Or, Dr. Matthews-Calloway

Or – whelp, you get the picture.

I’m FINISHED!!!!!!

Woot to the Woot, Woot, WOOT!!!!

Thanks to everyone for all the emails, text messages, Facebook posts/in boxes, and phone calls.

Special thanks to my parents and my brothers, Mr. Art, Barbara G., Michelle M. (a.k.a. “Elle Veg“), Mitzie and everyone at Acadiana LifeStyle for the well wishes and encouragement when it was time to leave for my oral defense.

I have Dedication and Acknowledgment pages in the dissertation, and when it’s all filed and published, I’ll be sure to post the pages so you can see the  names of the people who were the “wind beneath my wings.”

If it takes a village to raise a child, it takes an entire state to help someone who’s journeying to a Ph.D! (in my case, several states)

Whatever your role, large or small, I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

So, What’s Next?

I’m now contemplating and praying about the next steps. Needless to say, after being in graduate school for the past seven years – since 2006; can you believe it??? – not having textbooks to read, research to conduct or papers to write feels STRANGE.

I need to make some decisions about this blog. I was listening to a vlog entitled “The Guilt of the Black Housewife” from my good cyber buddy, Eugenia Berg of Married Girl in a Weird World. She expressed the sentiment that she was planning to eventually retire her MGIAWW blog and focus on her new blog, Married Girl Takes on the Pacific Northwest, a regional travel blog.

I totally get that, and applaud her for following her interests and passions.

I’m not planning to retire the blog per se, yet I do plan to expand the focus somewhat. Shucks, when I look back on past posts I see that the focus has been expanding for probably the past 6 – 8 months; indicative of my evolving interests.

One thing I’ve decided that I’m not going to fight it; I’m just going to roll with it and see where I land.

The Swirl World on Facebook heavily covers concepts of diversity, interracial dating and interracial marriage (shout out to Adrienne L.L., the best fellow Admin. a Facebook page manager could ask for)! We have an awesome community that is growing by leaps and bounds, so a part of me is wondering if the Facebook page should primarily suffice as the “interracial” outlet.

(Feel free to weigh in with your thoughts. Yes, I know ultimately it’s my decision, yet a little well-intentioned feedback or input never hurt anyone. IJS).

My thoughts also turn to the For Church Girls blog. I’m really passionate about the concept behind FCG and want to make it work – can I build that blog and do the other things I want to do??? The A Swirl Girl blog is in a really good place – should I simply now focus on building the For Church Girls blog?

Not only that: I have two book ideas; one fiction, one non-fiction: Which one to pursue???

And,

Two of my professors want me to publish my dissertation in academic journals, and they want to publish with me (so stoked about that!) They also say that my research and academic publishing journey is just beginning, and I need to conduct more research on my chosen demographic (interracially married women of color).

Decisions, decisions.

~Le sigh.

I must say that Rosetta Thurman of the Happy Black Woman is putting out some stellar posts on decision-making and pursuing your dreams. I plan to review her blog posts and just meditate on them, in addition to engaging in some old-fashioned prayer.

black-woman-praying-300x199

Stay tuned . . . . .

Join in the Fray: What decisions/next steps are you contemplating right now? Any advice?

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

 

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Filed Under: Announcements, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: advice, Blog, blog post, blogging, blogs, direction, doctoral, doctorate, Education, Eugenia Berg, Facebook, Happy Black Woman, higher education, Married Girl in a Weird World, PhD, Rosetta Thurman, steps, The Swirl World

Keep Calm And Try On . . . .

July 23, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 8 Comments

keep-calm-and-try-on-55

 . . . .clothes, that is!

I’m attending a swanky event Thursday night so I’m making like Cinderella and trying on different outfits and jewelry.

Technically I’ll be working behind the scenes covering this event, but hey! Girls just wanna look nice while they work.

fashion show woman

Let’s see:

Outfit: Check!

Shoes: Check!

Jewelry: Check!

Makeup: Check!

Mani & pedi: Check!

Sense of anticipation: Check!

Readiness to get my Swirl on: CHECK!

Join in the Fray: What rituals do you follow in preparation for a social event?

I’m blogging every day in the month of July in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

 

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Filed Under: NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black women, Black. White, BlogHer, clothes, dating, event, Facebook, fashion, glamorous, glamour, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, NaBloPoMo, party, social, swirling

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I’m Michelle Matthews-Calloway, and I’m A Swirl Girl! Greetings to you from The Swirl World. We encourage Black women to expand their relationship options by dating and marrying interracially. Our overarching mission is to see Black Women live their best life. Come Swirl with us in The Swirl World™, where we celebrate Black women and the diverse men who love us!™

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