The Swirl World

Celebrating and Elevating Black Women - mind, body, soul and spirit!


What I’m Passing On This Weekend

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My nemesis, The Frog

About a month ago I had a very disconcerting experience: A little green frog hopped in my car!

I’ll spare you all the gory details of my immediate dismay (I called 911 – not really, but I wanted to!) and the subsequent angst that lasted literally all week. I found it extremely hard to drive that week because I was on edge, worrying that The Frog would jump on my foot, or worse yet, somewhere on my person.

I also won’t tell you how many times I searched my car for The Frog (very gingerly, of course), or how many times I had my Dad and other male family members search; with flashlights and without. The weather was quite warm, so I had the added concern of opening my car door to a malodorous odor (which, I must admit, I would have been happy to smell, because it would have meant The Frog was dead). #dontjudgeme

My Facebook friends found this all quite amusing, and some of the guys even suggested that I should try to find The Frog instead of running away from him, because maybe he was actually Prince Charming waiting for a kiss.

Ha. Ha. (face palm) 

The Frog was never discovered, and my Dad swore to me that the pesky little rascal had more than likely hopped out. If he did, I suppose he joined his other family members, who this week are the stars of the show at the Frog Festival in Rayne, Louisiana. The Frog Festival is underway this weekend, with festivities concluding tomorrow night.

Normally, when somebody says “Festival!” my response is “When? Where?”

This time, I’m saying “Nah – I’ll pass” – I’ve already paid my respects.

Join in the Fray: What have you decided to say “Nah, I pass” to this week?

Copyright © 2012 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, All rights reserved.

I’m blogging every day in the month of November as a participant in NaBloPoMo. Thanks for reading and feel free to comment!

 

How to Be a Rock Star in 5 Easy Steps

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So, you wanna be a Rock Star?

You don’t have to sing like the Beatles or rock out like Steven Tyler – all ya gotta do is learn the 5 basic massage strokes!

Last night I had the privilege of teaching a continuing education class entitled “Couple’s Massage for Fun & Relaxation.” In this class, couples learn the 5 foundation strokes of Swedish massage. I spent two hours filled with laughter (and some hilarious double entendres) as couples tried the strokes on each other.

They don’t lie on tables for this class. Instead, they straddle chairs and work on each other’s backs and necks. I even throw in some scalp and face massage for good measure, and each couple leaves with a “starter bottle” of massage oil.   

These are the 5 basic strokes:

  1. Effleurage
  2. Petrissage
  3. Friction
  4. Vibration
  5. Tapotment

I won’t bore you with the gory details of what these terms mean. Instead, you can check out this video for a visual demonstration and some ideas:

Couples come away from the class with a decent introductory knowledge of how to use the 5 strokes to add a little fun, some relaxation, and a lot of spice to their relationship.

Mark my words, if you learn how to do these 5 steps and do them well, I can pretty much guarantee you that you’ll be a rock star.

What are you waiting for??? Get ta strokin’ – and rock it out!

 

 

Join in the Fray: Which of the strokes in the video do you think you’d like the most? The least?

Copyright © 2012 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, All rights reserved.

I’m blogging every day in the month of November as a participant in NaBloPoMo. Thanks for reading and feel free to comment!

How to Successfully Navigate Change

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Ever had things not go your way? I think it’s safe to say that today a large number of people would nod their heads and say, “Heck yeah!”

Well, as much as politics is on everyone’s mind, I’m really not speaking of politics. I’m simply speaking of this thing called life – where fortunes can be made and lost overnight, love can wax and wane, and a person can be here today and gone tomorrow.

Life – and time – brings about changes, and depending on the hand we are dealt in any given situation, we will view these changes as positive or negative. Lord knows I’ve experienced some exhilarating highs and crushing lows in my life. Despite the lows, I’m a firm believer in the importance of maintaining a positive outlook.

Wanna navigate change positively and effectively? Take note of what you’re building.

 

Join in the Fray: How do you respond when change hits your life?

Copyright © 2012 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, All rights reserved.

I’m blogging every day in the month of November as a participant in NaBloPoMo. Thanks for reading and feel free to comment!

 

The Secret I Can Finally Tell You

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Me (whispering):

Pssst! Hey you! Come here . . . . closer . . . . closer. 

I don’t know about you, but I for one am glad that November 6, 2012 is finally here.

Thankfully, Election Day voting will be in full swing by the time you receive notification of this post. Because the election is now underway and whatever will be, will be, I can finally tell you my secret.

My typing fingers – the fingers that have been itching to reach out and respond to all the hateful, bigoted, inane, stupid, inflammatory, and idiotic Facebook posts and Tweets I’ve had the unfortunate experience of seeing in my feeds – the fingers that want to come back with retorts and matching jabs – those fingers have been tied for about the past two months.

Oh, I admit that every once in a while, I slipped up and wasn’t able to resist responding to something here and there. (A Huffington Post thread exchange comes to mind . . . .as well as a Facebook discussion with an old friend regarding “legitimate rape” . . . . ~Le sigh).

Yet, for the most part, I have forced my fingers to back away from engaging in politically themed arguments with people and used all the self-control I could muster to make ASwirlGirl just. shut. up.  

Whew.

Now come closer, so I can go ahead and tell you my secret:

The reason why I had to tie my fingers is because reading those comments pretty much led me to the same level of intensity – and results – shown in this video (thanks for the link, Toni_M!).

Watch and learn, people; watch and learn. 

Join in the Fray: What topics push your buttons enough to make you go from David Banner – to The Incredible Hulk?

Copyright © 2012 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, All rights reserved.

I’m participating in NaBloPoMo, which means I’ll be blogging every day during the month of November. Feel free to read and make comments! 

How to Fall for the Okey-Doke in One Quick Step

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It’s easy! Them = Lucy . . . You = Charlie Brown!

~Le sigh. Unfortunately, I’m more like Charlie Brown than even I thought possible. Just when you believe “Lucy” is going to hold the football . . . .

(Ever the optimist. Silly me.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GsSXMT0NrB4

Join in the Fray: Which one are you: Charlie Brown – or Lucy? What makes you “fall for the okey-doke?”

Copyright © 2012 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, All rights reserved.

How to Bite Off More Than You Can Chew

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My goals for the month of November . . . and me.

During the month of November:

1. Contemplate participating in NaNoWriMo – you were successful in 2011, so why not attempt a repeat in 2012?

2. Determine that you will participate in NaBloPoMo.

3. Keep relentlessly begging bugging everyone you know to help you find participants for your research study. And beg bug them some more. And then beg bug them some more. And then, beg bug. them. some. more.

4. Work on Chapters 4 and 5 of said dissertation.

5. Complete freelance writing  and editing projects.

6. Fulfill the million-and-one obligations you have already committed to.

7. Find the perfect birthday gift for your Dad.

8. Participate in Dad’s birthday festivities and Thanksgiving festivities, both of which are in the same week.

9. Find time to celebrate your own birthday, which is also in the above-mentioned same week.

10. Bite off more than you can chew – and then chew it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Join in the Fray: How is November looking for you? Have you – like me – bitten off more than you can chew???

Copyright © 2012 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, All rights reserved.

 

Fried Alligator and Boudin Balls, Anyone???

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This past weekend I had the distinct pleasure of attending the 76th International Rice Festival in Crowley, LA. For those of you who may be unfamiliar with Louisiana culture, the state’s Department of Tourism reports that Louisiana holds over 400 festivals every year – and is “often called the Festival Capital of America.” The New Orleans Times Picayune  puts it this way:  “If you can eat it, drink it, play it, dance to it or ogle it, there’s a festival for it in south Louisiana. Probably this week.”

With that being said, the Rice Festival provided a delightful expression of diversity in two forms that really matter: People and food! These festivals seem to be the time that everyone pretty much put aside any race-centered or ethnic differences and instead become Louisianans who want to have a good time.

Yep, there was plenty of Swirling going on:

 

Where else in the world can large crowds of Blacks and Whites (with good sprinklings of Asians and Latinos mixed in) listen to and enjoy music like this:

And not only that, DANCE to it: 

AND, in addition to the fried alligator and spicy boudin balls, enjoy a good serving of pig feet or tripe?

This gentleman proudly told me I couldn’t take a photo unless he was in it!

(I purchased some wonderful homemade pralines. My cousin bought a bowl of pig feet – they were seasoned to perfection and delish! Yes, I eat pig feet – don’t judge me).

The truly adventuresome were able to help themselves to good ole helpings of squirrel, rabbit, or shark. Gotta try that shark next time . . . . .

 Join in the fray: What’s the most exotic food you’ve ever eaten? Would you be willing to try fried alligator, boudin balls, squirrel, or shark?

Copyright © 2012 Michelle Matthews Calloway, A Swirl Girl™, All rights reserved.

Oh HAPPY Day!!!

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I just found out that my dissertation proposal is approved by the IRB (Institutional Review Board)!!!! Woot to the Woot Woot WOOT! This means that I can now start contacting people to participate in my research study. My study is entitled A Qualitative Phenomenological Study of the Tenure Pursuit of Interracially Married Faculty Women of Color. Participants must be a female minority, interracially married, and on the tenure track at an accredited, four-year bachelors, masters, or doctoral college or university  in the United States. (Know anybody like that??? Ask them to contact me for more info). Sooo excited and so ready to GET THIS DONE!!!!

I told my friends on Facebook that when I received the news I started the fire, made the pizza, and twirled the Q-tip like Albert in the movie Hitch.

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

Join in the fray: What are you happy about? Do you have any good news that you’d like to share?

Copyright © 2012 Michelle Matthews Calloway, All rights reserved.

This = Love

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It’s in the eyes of the children

As they leave for the very first time

And it’s in the heart of a soldier

As he takes a bullet on the frontline . . .

Last week I had the privilege of driving my Dad to an appointment at the VA Medical Center in Alexandria, LA. The hospital is located a little less than 110 miles from my parents’ house, so this trek to the VA qualified as a mini road trip.

Traveling with my Dad is fun; he’s a sporadic talker so we enjoyed periods of comfortable silence and engaging conversations. This time our conversation on the way to Alexandria was spotty at best; I drove to the hospital in what amounted to a deluge yet made it there safely (all courtesy of my Dad’s back-seat driving ability, of course).

I knew we were headed to the VA hospital, yet I have to admit I was still taken aback by the sights and sounds that greeted me on our arrival: Military personnel, the vast majority of them male, in various states of mental and physical health. So many of the men were in wheelchairs or on crutches; I even spotted a blind soldier making his way down the hallway with his white cane, his wife’s hand resting gently on his arm.

Glancing at my Dad, I fought an overwhelming urge to break down and weep as he and I walked that narrow hallway. I’d already noticed last year that his steps were slower, and the stoop that seemed slight to me before we arrived at the facility was now glaringly obvious. I took some deep breaths to keep myself from tearing up, and instead elected to deliberately make eye-contact with each serviceman who glanced our way. I gave them a small nod of appreciation that silently said, “Thank you. I appreciate you.”

This is why we do it

This is worth the pain

This is why we fall down

And get back up again

This is where the heart lies

This is from above

Love is this, this is love . . . 

My Dad fought in two wars during the course of his Army career; the Korean Conflict and Vietnam. I’m ashamed to admit that it wasn’t until a couple of years ago that I genuinely recognized the magnitude of this, even though I knew that he had sustained service-related disabilities. The enormity of my Dad’s service finally hit me when a friend, whose father had also fought in Vietnam, described to me how his gregarious, jokester of a father went off to fight, only to return as another man; this one paranoid, drug-addicted, abusive, and suicidal. His father eventually took his life.

It’s in the soul of a city

What it does after it crumbles and burns

And it’s in the blood of a hero

To know where he goes he may never return 

The words to Love = This by The Script played constantly in my mind the entire day. I looked at those men and women; so many of them now in their senior years, broken and bruised, and all in the name of serving their country. I thought about the photos I’ve seen of the young version of my Dad, proud and stalwart in his crisp Army uniform, and tried to picture the same younger versions of the persons who shared the hallway and waiting room with him.    

My Dad, Columbus Matthews

Love is why we do it

Love is worth the pain

Love is why we fall down

And get back up again . . . 

I sat there, and when my Dad went in to see the doctor I silently thanked God for bringing him home those many years ago, alive and whole. I asked God to forgive me for my self-centeredness and ingratitude, my failure to recognize what a precious gift my Mother, brothers, and I were given in getting my Dad back. Just the thought of that gift moved me to ask Him to bless and strengthen the families of those who were not as fortunate as my family was. I prayed for my friend who had lost his father, and for other fatherless and motherless sons and daughters whose names I would never know. I prayed for the thousands of servicemen and women all around the globe, separated from their families yet willing to serve the country they love.  

Love is where the heart lies

Love is from above

Love is this, this is love . . .

 

Join in the fray:

What says “love” to you? What sacrifices have you made for love?

Copyright © 2012 Michelle Matthews Calloway, All rights reserved.

Hitting the Reset Button . . . . .

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So on July I started the 31-Day Reset Challenge with Rosetta Thurman, creator of The Happy Black Woman. I’m a Woman, I’m Black, and I’m all about the Happy so I’m excited to do this challenge! According to Thurman’s website, the challenge is designed for “Anyone who wants to manifest a change in their life, design a more fulfilling existence, make room for new possibilities or simply gain more clarity about their path to happiness and success. This challenge will especially be of benefit to you if you’ve felt stuck or in a rut during the last year.”

Needless to say, 2011 didn’t rank as one of my Top Ten best years because I was definitely stuck. Sometimes, whether you like it or not, life decides to smack you all upside the head (I believe the politically correct term is “blind side.” Same difference – and definitely the same effect. I’m just saying.).

The event that blindsided me left me stuck, yet I’m happy to say that I’ve recovered and I’m no longer reeling and rocking. Now, instead of being in a rut as a result of being blindsided by Life, I’m agreeing with the assertion that Life Goes On. I’m on a mission to keep it moving and this 31-Day Reset is just the ticket to propel me forward.

Day 1 of the challenge required us to pick a journal to write in, decide on a mantra,  and select a personal theme song. Because I’m now navigating some very pivotal areas of my life (more on that in later posts), my mantra for the 31-Day Reset is this:

“I am not afraid. I was born to do this!”

~Joan of Arc

My personal “theme song” is “I’m Every Woman” by the imitable Chaka Kahn. This song has run in the background of my head from the first time I heard it. It’s so much of part of me that when I find myself in difficult situations, I often say to myself, “I’m every woman; it’s all in me” to give myself an extra boost of courage.

This reset could not have come at a better time, because I’m afforded some much-needed down time as I wait for my dissertation proposal to undergo review. Each day I’ll try to post some tidbit from the 31-Day Reset Challenge. If you’re interested in jumping in on the fun, sign up here while there’s still time to take the challenge for free.

Want to do the 31-Day Reset Challenge vicariously through me? Then stay tuned for updates! Follow me on Twitter on @ASwirlGirl or on Facebook at The Swirl World.

Join in the fray: What areas of your life need a “reset?” What practical steps are you taking to “reset” your life?