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The Swirl World

Celebrating and Elevating Black Women - mind, body, soul and spirit!


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How Do You Mend A Broken Heart? The Love Story Of Brad And Jamaica Miller – The Conclusion

April 30, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 3 Comments

For the past two weeks we have shared Part 1 and Part 2 of the story of Jamaica and Brad Miller, a military couple currently stationed in Louisiana.

Jamaica poured out her heart and shared her story with us – the good, the bad and the ugly. Some of her story we deemed too intimate and too personal to share via this medium, yet we’re honored and humbled Jamaica trusted us with her story and felt comfortable enough to let us peek into her experiences.

Jamaica left no stone unturned and hopes her story serves as an inspiration to other women.

Jamaica and Brad Miller_Wedding photo 2

Jamaica’s story is one of blood, sweat and a bucket load of tears. In many ways Jamaica is – no, was – a classic representation of a woman who stays in an abusive, dead-end relationship for far too long – and to her own detriment.

Thankfully, Jamaica was able to file for divorce and not only make a new start, but find a true and lasting love. Sadly, many women who flee physical, mental and emotionally abusive relationships are not as fortunate: Almost 1-million domestic violence incidents are reported each year (and if this is the number of reported incidents, can you imagine what the number would be if all incidents were reported???) [Source]

On average, 3 women and 1 man are murdered by their partner each day.

Each. Day.

 Ponder that fact as you read the concluding installment of Jamaica Miller’s story:

I filed for divorce again and moved out to my sister’s house. June came and I saw on Facebook that Brad would be returning to the states. I thought he would return to Kentucky and wondered how I would handle it, but he was sent to Louisiana.

I was happy for him and glad that he was back from his deployment safe and sound. I watched him on Facebook and noticed how women paid him compliments and obviously tried to get to know him. I had to admit that jealousy and other feelings were taking over me.

I prayed, Lord what is happening to me? I kept my distance but I knew in my heart this time I clearly wanted more.

The divorce was in process. I had signed my papers and was just waiting on my ex to sign his. Months passed by and still nothing. After much begging and pleading, he finally signed.

I didn’t immediately run to Brad. I talked to him from time to time but I kept my feelings hidden. Months passed and I heard nothing other than he was just enjoying his leave.

I continued to see pictures of him living, dating and enjoying life. Feeling unhappy, I finally expressed to him that I didn’t like it. He reminded me we were just friends. I thought, Oh ok, Jamaica – that’s all you wanted from day one, right? For him to be a friend?

Jamaica and Brad Miller_Brad

I kept praying, and asked the Lord if Brad was the man for me. I prayed that if there was anything ungodly in him that God would remove it from him, if he was the man He had for me.

By this time me and Brad’s conversations had only been on Facebook. I wanted to hear his voice but wasn’t ready to express I wanted more.

So you know the info tab that’s on Facebook? Well, it had his phone number so I saved it to my phone. It took me two weeks to actually use it! LOL!

I took a deep breath and texted, “Hello friend it’s Jamaica. I’m so glad you made it back safe. Be good, don’t break hearts.”

He texted me back and said, “I wouldn’t if you’ll just be my girl already! Stop telling me no – there’s nothing stopping you now.”

I laughed and said, Ok. We conversed and sent messages and acknowledged we had feelings – and now that we’d said it, long distance was in our way now.

At the end of August I got a message from Brad saying, “I’m coming to see you. I can’t take it anymore.” I said, “You’re kidding, right?”

He said, “Nope!”

I was nervous, not knowing if he’d be the same man behind the messages and conversations. On August 31 he texted me and said, “I’m outside.”

I froze a good 10 minutes before making it to the door. I went outside to his truck and we hugged, our smiles big as ever. The first thing he said was, “Do you have a bag I can use for my shoes? I kinda just through them in my truck – I was just ready to get to you!”

I laughed and said sure. We headed to my sister’s house. All I remember is him holding my hand the whole ride telling me I’m beautiful. I felt like a princess.

Jamaica and Brad Miller_Evening Wear

I knew this was my sunshine after the storm!!!!

He could only stay four days and by October we knew we wanted our relationship to go further. He asked me to move to Louisiana. He continued to say there wasn’t much there, but that he’d make it worth it for his family.

On Jan 29th he asked me to marry him! I started planning a small wedding. On February 2 he got baptized. We got married on February 14!

Jamaica and Brad Miller_Wedding photo - License

We asked, What was your defining moment – that moment when you each knew you were in love?

Jamaica’s response: The defining moment I knew I was in love was our first kiss. It lasted forever with him just holding me tight!!

Brad’s response: My defining moment was making two back-to-back trips to see Jamaica. I would never travel to see a woman – but she was worth it!

How did you families and friends respond to the news of your relationship? How did you handle it?

I’ve attached a picture of  a text message showing his Mom and Dad’s responses:Jamaica and Brad Miller - Parents Test Message

After we got married, Brad called his aunt. They all congratulated us.

When Brad came to town to see me that first time, we went to my sister’s house. My nieces and nephew ran to the door to meet him. My oldest sister just kept giving me that look and whispered, “He’s the one – keep him!” Lol! For my sister to say that, I knew I was on the right path.

Later my little sister came in town from Lexington.  We sat up and chatted for a while. She said, “I can tell you like him. I know he’s the one so take your time and I can’t wait to be in your wedding!” LOL

My Mom and Dad gave their seal of approval and welcomed Brad to the family. They asked him if his parents were ok with him dating outside his race  and he replied, “Yes – from the time I was born!” LOL

What do you like most about your mate?

Jamaica’s response: What I like most about my husband is his drive to go above and beyond for his family. Our daughter wanted to change the color of her dresser and put her new initial “M” on it – and he did just that.

Jamaica and Brad Miller_Selfie with Daughter

Brad’s response: What I like most about my wife is that she loves me no matter the trail of clothes I leave from the shower to the closet after pt! At first she fussed but now I just leave a note saying, Sorry, Hun I had to rush back to work to bring home the bacon. I LOVE YOU !!!

What advice would you give to others who are interested in dating/marrying interracially?

Our advice would be, Go for it! Love comes in all shades. Don’t be afraid and don’t worry about the dirty looks you get. The only thing that matters is the love you have for each other and how happy you are.

Most important don’t try to change each other, but enjoy the things that make you different. For the first time ever, I rode a horse for my husband. I was scared out my mind at first but I had fun! LOL

Jamaica and Brad Miller_Swim

For us, we know God doesn’t make mistakes. Make God the center In all you do!!!

So that’s us, the Millers. I hope our story touches others’ hearts, knowing that anything is possible!!!

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, call the National Domestic HOTLINE at 1-800-799-7233 | 1-800-787-3224 (TTY) or visit TheHotline.org.

 Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com.

 Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved. Photos used with permission.

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Filed Under: BW/WM, OPEL, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black, Black women, Black. White, Brad, conversations, Facebook, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, interracial romance, Jamaica, Kentucky, leave, long distance, long distance relationship, long distance romance, Louisiana, love, Marriage, military, Miller, proposal, swirl, swirling, testing, text messages, texted, wedding, white

How Do You Mend A Broken Heart? The Love Story Of Brad And Jamaica Miller – Part 2

April 23, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 4 Comments

Jamaica and Brad Miller_Civilian clothesLast week we gave you Part 1 of the story of Brad and Jamaica Miller, an interracial couple who shared their photos with The Swirl World Facebook page.

We enjoy sharing beautiful photos of couples, yet we’re always aware there is a story behind the photo – what were the circumstances bringing this couple get together? Where did they meet? How did they manage to fall in love?

One thing about life and love: Sometimes it doesn’t come wrapped in a pretty package, all neatly tied with a bow.

Sometimes life is convoluted and conflicting, yet somehow it all seems to work out in the end.

Try to remain judgment free.

Jamaica continues: 

Who was on the line? My now-husband Brad trying get his Mack on!

He’d seen me at the mall and gotten my number from one of my friends. He proceeded to say, “Hey, didn’t I just see you at the mall?”

Not knowing who the man was, I replied, “No, I’m sure of it. There’s no way.”

He says, “Are you sure?”

When I said yes, he said, “You must have a twin as beautiful as you – she walked right past me in the mall!”

He sent me a friend request on Facebook and was honest about the fact that he was interested in me but my guard was up wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy high from all the hurt and pain I’d been through. I knew he was interested in more, but I told him that I was going through a divorce and could not move forward with anyone until and unless it was final.

Of course in the back of my head I wished I was completely free but I detached myself from Brad and told him we could never be anything more. Right after that, Brad was deployed to Korea.

During the midst of it all I prayed to God and asked, what is this??? Here’s this man who seems really nice and could be all a girl could ever want for a man and husband.

I said this can’t be your work because I’m still married and I know you forbid this behavior. I was seeing all of what Brad was and I prayed that my husband could be that type of man too.

So, even though I was confused as ever, I became even more determined to try to work things out with my husband. 

Three months pass by, and then I looked up and a more than a year had passed. In that time my marriage hadn’t gotten any better and my husband was still just going from woman to woman. I was still one foot out the door seeing no nope.

Orders come up that my husband is getting stationed back in Kentucky. I was sad to leave my church home, friends and my sisters. I wanted to stay right there, which I could have done, but my heart I believed God was saying, “Go; just trust me.”

It was then early December 2012, and we were back on the road to Kentucky. We stopped off to visit family in South Carolina.

On December 25 I was in bed crying about how unhappy I was. All I wanted was for my husband to love me – this was the story of my life. It was Christmas and all he had done was leave me behind at the house – again.

Suddenly there was a loud knock at the door. Someone rushed in to tell us my husband had been in a car accident. My heart was racing with mixed feelings – Lord . . . ?

We get to the scene and it was a sight to see: I had been crying about my husband leaving me at home, but if he’d taken me with him, that would’ve been me in the passenger seat – lifeless.

His best friend died on impact. My husband, who was driving, had broken ribs and head trauma. His cousin, who was in the back seat on the right side, had his face cut open.

We were now stuck in South Carolina and traveling back and forth to Fort Jackson. I’m praying, Lord why??? What are you telling me??? All I could hear was “Just trust me.” I instantly thought, ‘Till death do us part,’ and soldiered on.

I nursed my husband back to health, listening to his many cries to the doctors of “Where’s my wife? I need her here!” He was in ICU and the times were limited when I could visit.

One trying month passed. I thought the accident was a sign to keep working at my marriage, but nope. As soon as the doctor cleared him to take it slow and get back to living, he left me at his Mom’s house and took a flight back to Colorado to be with another woman – three days before my 26th birthday.

The texts and lies continued until finally a video of him in the act confirmed it all. I said, “Lord you told me to trust in you, but this can’t be it right?

March came and I couldn’t wait to get home to family. My sisters could tell something was wrong. They know Kentucky isn’t home for me. Even so, I kept saying I was fine.

April came and my husband was seeing yet another woman. I called my sisters in Christ and let them know nothing had changed; they reminded me of the Lord’s vision of marriage. I got what was to be my last phone call from one of my husband’s women and told that woman, “You can have him.” I filed for divorce again, and this time I meant it. 

Stay tuned for the final installment in Part 3.

 

Join In The Fray: Have you ever stayed too long in a dead-end relationship? What finally made you call it quits?

 Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com. 

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved. Photos used with permission.

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Filed Under: BW/WM, OPEL, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: abuse, accident, affairs, Birthday, Black women, Black. White, car accident, Christ, Christmas, Colorado, December 25, deployed, deployment, divorce, Facebook, fatal, fatality, God, husband, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, interracial romance, Jamaica, Kentucky, mall, Marriage, pray, prayed, praying, sisters, South Carolina, swirl, swirling, wife

Meet Our Youngest Swirlers (They Started Dating At 16!)

March 24, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 3 Comments

One of the things we love most about The Swirl World is the fact that our Swirlers come in all shapes, sizes, ethnicities – and ages.

Some people start Swirling later in life, others claim they’ve been Swirling from the cradle (well, almost).

Today in our continuing series on “Extraordinary People . . . Extraordinary Love” we’re excited to introduce you to the youngest Swirlers we’ve profiled.

Meet Erika Ragans and Jeanpaul Font-ayala!

Erika and Jean 6

Where do you live?

We live in our home town of Jacksonville, Florida. Florida is my birthplace while Jean’s is Puerto Rico. We both go to school but I’m part time because of my full-time job. Jean is a fulltime student.

How long you have been together?

Jean and I are both 20. We’ve been dating 4 years.

Erika and Jean 1

How/where did you meet?

Jeanpaul and I met in high school.  He says he always had a crush on me but didn’t make a move until my boyfriend moved to Texas.

I love telling people about our first date because it was also the first time my Mother meet him. When she first saw Jean, she actually refused to let me go with him because he looked about 30 to her – we were both 15 at the time!

Erika and Jean 2

What was your defining moment – that moment when you each knew you were in love?

Erika: I knew I was in love with Jean when on vacation I wanted to go down to the pool for a quick swim. Jean agreed and we went, but after we got out of the water I realized Jean was covered in red bumps. Turns out his skin is really sensitive to changes in temperature so first the water, and then the cold air made him break out. He knew it would all along – he went swimming just because he knows I love to swim!

Erika and Jean 3

Jeanpaul: I fell in love when we were both standing in front of a mirror. I looked at her and thought, I want to be with her for a very long time.

How did you families and friends respond to the news of your relationship? How did you handle it?

Jean’s family had no real feeling about our relationship but later on when his mother saw how serious we were getting she got a little worried. My family wasn’t that shocked since I’ve never really dated someone my race.

What do you like most about your mate?

Jean: I love Erika’s personality and the fact that she’s willing to work through any of our problems.

Erika: The thing I love most about Jean is that he will always do his best to make me happy.

What advice would you give to others who are interested in dating/marrying interracially?

Our advice for people who want to date or marry someone who is a different race is this: forget skin color – just be with whoever makes you happy!

Erika and Jean 7

Erika and Jeanpaul – we’re happy you made that discovery at such a young age!

Swirl on.

 

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com.

 Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved. Photos used with permission.

 

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Filed Under: BW/WM, OPEL, Series, Special Tagged With: 15, 16, Black women, Black. White, dating, Florida, high school, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, Jacksonville, love, Mother, Puerto Rico, swirl, swirling, teenage, teenagers, teens, white, young

How To Meet Your Prince/Princess Without Kissing A Lot Of Frogs

March 19, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway Leave a Comment

We’ve all heard the saying: “You have to kiss a lot of frogs in order to find your Prince/Princess.”

FROG

While that saying may hold true for some and may even be the story of your life to this point, we in The Swirl World want you to take heart and ponder these questions:

What if finding true love didn’t have to be so hard?? What if there really ARE some good men and women out there who would make wonderful mate – and how in the world can I meet him/her?

Our Facebook page is On Fire with lots of great single men and women who have heard the same tired proverb, and are asking themselves the very same questions.

They’re attractive, smart, well-adjusted and possess many good character traits.

They’re not loony and they’re not cray-cray.

Insane man in a straitjacket

Stalking? They’re not about that life.

They’re also not lazy, trifling, good-for-nothing or looking for a free ride.

Their intent is to “do no harm” and give 100% to a relationship.

They want to do someone good, and not evil, all the days of his/her life.

They want to be in a relationship for the long haul. 

If you’re interested in a booty call, cat-fishing or a fly-by-night relationship, YOU’VE GOT THE WRONG ONE, BABY.

attractive caucasian man shot in studio

 

They simply want a chance to love – and be loved.

If this sounds like you, then The Swirl World is where you need to be.

Starting tomorrow, we’re going to present some Swirling “Princes and Princesses” who may just be the person who qualifies as “Your Last First Kiss.” 

***************************DISCLAIMER*****************************

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If we profile someone you take a fancy to and you connect with them, will you still have to vet him/her??

OF. COURSE. YOU. WILL!

OF. COURSE. YOU. WILL!

OF. COURSE. YOU. WILL!

(And just in case you didn’t know it, OF. COURSE. YOU. WILL!)

This is Adrienne and Me - giving you major side eye.

This is Adrienne and Me – giving you major side eye.

Yes, YOU will still have to get to know a person, Yes, YOU will still have to vet, vet, vet – and VET AGAIN.

Presenting people is on us – VETTING IS  ON YOU.

This bears repeating:

Yes, YOU will still have to get to know a person, Yes, YOU will still have to vet, vet, vet – and VET AGAIN.

Presenting people is on us – VETTING IS ON YOU. 

And just in case you need a crash course on vetting, we very happily refer you to the Queen of Vetting herself, Mrs. Eugenia Berg, a.k.a. “Married Girl In A Weird World.” 

(We’re happy to report that Mrs. Berg and her loving hubby are now expecting TWINS! Woot Woot!)  

Mrs. Berg was kind enough to supply free coaching information on vetting on her blog.

Whether you believe you know how to properly vet or not, If you have any brains at all, you will thank the good Lord for Eugenia’s free advice and give a listen here, here and here.   

So now, on the subject of vetting: Have we made ourselves perfectly clear?

Ok; by the look on your face, we have made ourselves PERFECTLY clear.

Ok; by the look on your face, we have made ourselves PERFECTLY clear.

 If we have, stay tuned. Our first “Swirling Single” will be presented tomorrow!

Till then, Swirl On.

Join in the Fray: Are you a Prince/Princess – or a Frog?

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com.

 Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

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Filed Under: Announcements, Series, Special, Swirling Singles Tagged With: Black women, Black. White, cray-cray, crazy, date, dating, Eugenia Berg, Frog, interracial, interracial dating, interracial relationships, interracial romance, Kiss, Married Girl in a Weird World, prince, Prince Charming, princess, Relationships, side eye, stalk, stalker, stalking, swirl, vet, vetted, vetting, white

Mondays With Mike: Why I Celebrate Black Women In Poetry (Part 2)

March 17, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 2 Comments

So last week on Mondays With Mike, our favorite Aussie shared a beautiful poem penned to (and for) his muse, @MissLJay20.

Mike's Muse

Today, Mike gives us the details on why he celebrates Black Women in poetry (and is inspired by his Muse):

Why I Celebrate Black Women In Poetry

All artists need a Muse, a source of inspiration, something which sets their spirits aflame, ignites their senses. Something to make them feel that if they don’t attempt to honour that beauty and majesty their soul will burst from trying to keep it all in.

It may seem strange but it’s just the way my Muse works. I don’t think I am alone in feeling like this. I think it’s the soul of all creativity.

Why Black Women In Particular?

So what is it that makes me filled with inspiration to write poetry for Black Women? Why Black Women in particular? Because my Muse moves when I see Black Women, when I hear them, when I appreciate them on all levels, I am always entranced.

I have to celebrate Black Women; my Muse guides my hands in doing so, and I love being able to communicate what I feel in what I write. If I wish to write and write well, I need my source of inspiration, and my Muse requires her due, which I am more than willing to give.

MissLJay20 7

Luckily this has been easy of late. My Muse is beautiful, gives me so much inspiration to write, so much passion and energy that sometimes I don’t know if I will ever be able to pay it back in kind. I try my best and I am forever grateful for the gifts bestowed.

MISSLJAY20 4

And Now, My Heart Is Open

I once thought that I should guard myself closely, be closed off and wary, worried of possible heartaches and troubles, but I am now looking more and more towards being open-hearted and looking for the possible in all things, to be thankful in finding it, and rejoicing in the happiness of it.

I won’t question why I should be so lucky so I don’t spoil it, but instead be gracious, thankful and appreciative in having received it, and trying my best to honour the gift I have been given.

And that is what has inspired my latest poem, and I hope it conveys that as best as can be said.

Cheers!

 

We have to say, @MissLJay20 is a beautiful Black Woman – and Mike is blessed to have her as his Muse!

Join in the Fray: Who or what inspires YOU?

MIKE M - THIS ONEGot a question for Mike? Send it to us via inbox on The Swirl World’s Facebook page or by email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Follow Mike on Twitter @500and50 read his blog at 500and50.com, or message him on his 500and50 Facebook page.

 

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

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Filed Under: BW/WM, Mondays With Mike, Series, Uncategorized Tagged With: Aussie, Australian, Black women, Black. White, creative, creativity, dating, inspiration, inspire, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, love, Mike, Mondays With Mike, muse, poem, poetry, swirl, swirling, Twitter, white

Mondays With Mike: “Why I Celebrate Black Women In Poetry “

March 10, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway Leave a Comment

Mondays With Mike is BACK!

Our guy Mike in Australia has been on a bit of a hiatus since he took a new job. He’s a sensitive soul, Mike is, and he’s a poet.

His muse is a beautiful Black Woman whose Twitter handle is @MissLJay20.

Mike's Muse

Mike wrote a poem for her and shared it with us:

Just one word and I’m over the edge,
Falling from the walls of isolation,
Into the abyss so open and inviting,
Calling your name on the spiral down.

I once held on for dear life to it,
Clutching my fears with bloodied fingers,
Bruised and scraped my way to a higher loft,
And saw to lock myself away in a gilded cage.

But the merest whispers of your words sang,
And the locks and chains broke away,
So easily the walls did fall,
Did they even exist?

So now I descend freely into the space,
And a song of a thousand voices bear me aloft,
To fall with the weight of a feather,
Burning heart into the arms of an Angel.

We love it!

Stay tuned; next week in Part 2, Mike goes into detail about why he celebrates Black Women in his poetry.

MIKE M - THIS ONEGot a question for Mike? Send it to us via inbox on The Swirl World’s Facebook page or by email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Follow Mike on Twitter @500and50 read his blog at 500and50.com, or message him on his 500and50 Facebook page.

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

 

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Filed Under: Mondays With Mike, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: @MissLJ20, Australia, Australian men, Black women, Black. White, celebrate, celebration, dating, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, interracial romance, Mondays With Mike, muse, Perth, poem, poetry, swirl, swirling, white

What Making The First Move Can Teach Us About Finding Love

March 5, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 6 Comments

Ladies, if you were at a party and saw a cute guy you found interesting, what would you do?

I’m directing my questions to ladies because it’s not surprising for men to make the first move – in fact, it’s usually expected.

But what about a woman? Is there ever a time when a woman should make the first move?

Different schools of thought and theories exist on whether a woman should make any moves. Some believe a nice smile, lingering glance or simply saying hello should be enough for a woman to indicate interest.

Others advocate women doing absolutely nothing other than letting a man make all the moves – if he’s interested, they reason, then he’ll make a move in the woman’s direction.

Still others believe nothing is wrong with a woman being open about her interest – and going after what she wants.

Meet Lela and Mark.

Lela and Mark - 2

When Lela saw Mark, she – well, read their story and find out!

Where do you live? 

We live in Loganville, GA

How long have you been together?

We’ll be together two years come May.

Do you have any children?

We have a five-month-old named Maleah and one on the way, that’ll be here come this August.

Lela and Mark - Baby

How/where did you meet?

We met at a night lounge. We were not looking for each other but we found each other. I saw him and went to him and asked if he wanted to dance, he said, “Yes of course!” (Lol!)

But we talked and danced all night together. At the end of the night he walked me to my car and we exchanged numbers. He tried to kiss me but I wasn’t having it. Lol!

We started hanging out; I mean every weekend he was coming to my house to pick me up. Rain or whatever he was there. Things progressed as we spent more time with each other. Just finding out how much we had in common was so nice.

Well one day at his house relaxing on the porch, he asked to make our friendship official into a relationship. I couldn’t deny it. He was all that I wanted in a man. Very sweet, funny, smart and truly cared for me.

How did your families respond to your relationship?

Our families were very supportive. My family loved that I found someone who I could spend my time with, enjoy life and possibly grow old together. His family was happy he found someone cool, calm and collected to help keep him grounded.

What do you like most about each other?

Lela: What I like most about him is that he’s such a hardworking man. He truly loves me, and he’s an amazing father.

Mark: What I like most about her is her personality and her sense of humor. She’s beautiful, and we have so much in common.

What advice would you give to others who are interested in dating/marrying interracially?

Our advice is to go for it! You never know what you could be missing out on if you’re not open to different possibilities.

Lela and Mark - Baby 2

And there you have it! Lela wasn’t too shy or afraid to ask Mark to dance, and the rest is history. Sometimes making the first move can lead to lasting love – and that goes both ways!

Join in the Fray: Who should make the first move – a man or a woman?

All rights reserved. All work is the copyright of the respective owner, otherwise copyright © 2014 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, Dallas, TX, USA. Photos used with permission.

 

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

 

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Filed Under: BW/WM, OPEL, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black women, Black. White, club, dance, dancing, date, dating, GA, Georgia, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, Lela, lounge, love, make a move, Mark, move, move forward, night club, night lounge, swirl, swirling

How To Find A Wife At Church – Even When People Say You Can’t

February 26, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 4 Comments

Despite the seemingly endless barrage of news stories concerning “Church Leaders Gone Wild” (and that shameless, God-forsaken monstrosity of a reality show called “Preachers of LA”), many of us still believe in God.

Not only that, many of us go to churches that make sense and have Pastors who don’t make us ashamed.

Yes, despite the bad rap many individuals receive for going to or actively participating in church, many people still attend and enjoy a vibrant expression of their faith.

And you know what? Many people still DO meet their spouses at church!

In this week’s profile of “Ordinary People  . . . Extraordinary Love,” we’d like you to meet Ian and Evoni Hochstrasser.

Ian and Evoni Hochstrasser enjoyed dating

Ian and Evoni Hochstrasser enjoyed dating

They met – you guessed it – at church!

The Hochstrasser’s took a few minutes to respond to our questions, and share their beautiful story – and family – with us.

Where do you live?

We currently live in Idaho but are both from Oregon and hope to return there!

How long have you been together?

We’ve been together for over 6 1/2 years; married over 5 ½.

When did you know he/she was “The One?”

We knew we were in love when we had some time apart (not broken up; Evoni was away visiting family) and we realized just how much we missed each other and didn’t want to be apart again.

Ian and Evoni Hochstrasser's engagement photo

Ian and Evoni Hochstrasser’s engagement photo

Do you have any children?

We have two children (4 years & 4 months-both girls).

Where did you meet?

We met at a church activity (game night).

What do you like best about your mate?

Evoni: What I like best about my husband is he lets me be me and doesn’t try to change who I am (I’m kinda quirky) but tries to uplift me. He reminds me constantly how much he loves me and how beautiful I am to him (inside and out)!

Ian: What I like best about my wife is she the perfect combination of smart, funny and beautiful.

What advice would you give to others who want to date interracially?

Just love each other and ignore the naysayers (and yes there are still naysayers). Also, never stop laughing together–find the funny in every situation! (Ian and Evoni had the same advice).

An additional question, if you don’t mind: What made your husband approach you as a potential date, and how did he go about it? Was he shy and you let him know you were interested – or was he bold?

Evoni: Initially, we were just instant friends – we enjoyed a lot of the same things and found ourselves spending all our extra time with one another. One night he kissed me (pretty bold for him considering how shy he is!) and the rest is history.

Before the kiss he had said things about how much I meant to him. We had gotten really close fast-he was my best friend.

Ian and Evoni Hochstrasser met at church

Ian and Evoni Hochstrasser met at church

So, how do you find a wife or a husband at church – even when people say you can’t?

Ian and Evoni already told you: “Ignore the naysayers!” 

Till next time, Keep Swirling.

Join in the Fray: Do you believe church is a good place to meet a mate? Why or why not?

All rights reserved. Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, Dallas, TX, USA. Photos used with permission.


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Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox at The Swirl World on Facebook or send an email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

 

 

 

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Filed Under: BW/WM, OPEL, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black women, Black. White, children, church, churches, dating advice, engaged, girls, Idaho, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, interracial romance, love, loving, naysayer, Oregon, preachers, swirl, swirling

“I Prayed For A Wife – And God Answered My Prayer!”

February 19, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 6 Comments

“I don’t discuss politics or religion” is a common saying and practice observed by many.

Unfortunately, these two subjects tend to be very polarizing for a vast majority of people.

Christians are often jeered at and ridiculed when they state they are “praying and asking God for a mate.”

In particular, Black Women are derided and called “passive,” “sheeple” and even “brainwashed” when they state they are “believing God” for a mate.

While we certainly believe everyone should be an active participant in his/her life and not sit idly by expecting the Lord to drop a husband or wife in their lap, we applaud people of faith who make God an integral part of their marital quest.

We especially appreciate the fact that in this story of “Ordinary People . . . Extraordinary Love,” the man shares the details of how he prayed for a wife.

Frank and Sandra built their relationship - and their marriage - on prayer

Frank and Sandra built their relationship – and their marriage – on prayer

Regardless of your religious persuasion (or lack thereof), today we share the story of Frank and Sandra “San” Robinson, a couple who are not ashamed to say that they prayed and asked God for a mate, and believe their marriage is the direct result of answers to faith-filled prayers.

Frank and San Robinson - 2013

An interesting side note:  Frank is the author of Letters To a Mixed Race Son (available on Amazon).

Frank and San Robinson - Book Cover

He and his wife San were kind enough to respond to our interview questions and share their sweet story:

Where do you live?

In California.

How long have you been together?

We will be together 30 years in May.

Do you have any children or grandchildren?

Yes, we do. We have 4 children; 2 boys and 2 girls. Three of our children are in their 20s and one is still a teen.
We have one granddaughter. Ember is 2 years old. Ember has a younger (we think) brother on the way.

Update: Since the interview, we asked Frank if Ember’s little brother had arrived. He tells us: Oh yes, 2 weeks ago yesterday (February 17). We just got back from going to meet Coda Zecheriah Robinson. He is beautiful, calm and very alert.

Coda Zecheriah Robinson

Coda Zecheriah Robinson

 

Frank with his two grandchildren, Ember and Coda

Frank with his two grandchildren, Ember and Coda

How did you meet?
Frank says:

I had sincerely decided to become a Christian at age 20 and I spent almost all of my 20s single. I studied, worked and had gone into ministry. When I prayed for a wife I asked for someone who loved God first and would love me second. I waited for years alone.

We met when I went to Alabama to minister at a church there. The pastor asked me to come back and work with him. When I returned, I got to see San as she would go to prayer before she went to work and on her lunch break. So I got to talk with her and started to find out what a humble, lovely and sincere person she is.

One day, like people say, the Lord said, “That is your wife.” As a minister, with much to be considered, I prayed about this because I did not want to make a mistake.

In one of the places where we had an outreach, a man who was involved in an interracial relationship had been decapitated, mutilated and hanged. There were other atrocities merely in the reputation of the South.

Then also, as a minister, I didn’t want to make a wrong move, too much was at stake. I was almost 30 and didn’t want to damage my ministry, or get a reputation as a womanizer, so I prayed, prayed and prayed.

Two different times I asked San if I could ask a question. But I did not know what to say, had to go pray some more. One morning I was painting the church when we spoke before she left. What I did not know was that she had just prayed, “Let something happen today, or take this out of my heart.” I had absolutely no clue.

This was now the third time I asked if I could ask a question. There was a long pause. Finally I asked, “Do you like me?” She responded, “Whoa!” Not knowing what “Whoa!” meant, I thought maybe I was in trouble. So I began to tell San what the Lord put in my heart. She began to tell me about how the Lord had been dealing with her. It was so clear to us that it was more of a question of; When shall we do this? I never had to ask San to marry me, and she did not ask me.

Frank and Sandra Robinson on their wedding day.

Frank and Sandra Robinson on their wedding day.

How did family members respond?

“If anyone in this family marries someone who’s black, it’s going to be YOU. And I don’t want to be babysitting any kids who are going to call me ‘Momma.’”

So my relative told me. But maybe 8 or 9 years later, I married San, so it turns out she was right.

We have been married almost 30 years. She never, ever had to babysit any of them at any time. When one of my kids was small, he’d see her and start screaming. Loudly. She thought we taught him to do that. But no, he did that all on his own. We are always nice to her, and over the years, she may have come around some.

Frank and Sandra almost 30 years later.

Frank and Sandra almost 30 years later.

On the other side, San’s father did not come to our wedding, but it was not long before he warmed up to me. I think he thinks I’m all right.

Of course some, even with all the kindness and time they are given, will not change. But others come around; their paradigms and prejudices are challenged, they figure out some things in themselves and they change and grow.

Frank and San Robinson - Girls

What do you like most about your mate?

Frank:  I love that San is who she says she is, unpretentious, humble. San is real. She has a great sense of humor and good mother sense. She has always been in my corner, supportive, willing to go through good times and hard times. She’s a great wife and a great mother; a beautiful, gentle and kind person. I hit the jackpot!

May I add something I should have said that I like about San? She has these beautiful, gentle, kind, huge doe eyes. She cast those beautiful eyes on me and I think I was done.

Sandra: How protective Frank is of our family, and how after almost 30 years of marriage, he still finds me beautiful.

What advice would you give to others?

San’s advice: 
Find someone who loves God first and loves you second.

Frank’s advice:
Time changes all of us, physical features change, and circumstances change. But the right person will always honor, love you and be faithful to the end. That person is absolutely worth the wait.

Frank and San Robinson - Family Photo

And all the praying people say, “Amen!”

Till next time, Keep Swirling.

Join in the Fray: Are you praying for a mate? Why or why not?

All rights reserved. All work is the copyright of the respective owner, otherwise copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, Dallas, TX, USA. Photos used with permission. Post may contain affiliate links.

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

 

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Filed Under: BW/WM, Mixed Race, OPEL, Uncategorized Tagged With: author, believe, believing, Black women, Black. White, book, dating, Frank Robinson, God, husband, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, interracial romance, Jesus, love, mixed race, pray, Prayer, praying, Sandra Robinson, swirl, swirling, wife

Will You Be Their Valentine? Meet Brandon And Brooklynn!

February 14, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 13 Comments

Here in The Swirl World we’ve been fortunate to have a number of men reach out to us. We receive nice emails and in boxes on our Facebook page from “Rainbeaus” and “Other Brothers” who kindly share their appreciation for our page and for lovely Black Women.

Navy man Brandon Welch, a divorced Dad who’s raising his little girl, is one of those gentlemen.

The Back Story

We first heard from Brandon in November 2012 when he shared a photo of him and his little daughter Brooklynn.

Brandon and Brooklynn 1

Now, Brooklynn is the bees-knees and puts the “A” in ADORABLE and the “C” in CUTENESS, and needless to say everyone fell in love with her at first sight.

(Her Dad is pretty gorgeous too, we might add. Just sayin’.)

Pictures of Brandon and Brooklynn quickly went viral on our Facebook page and other Swirl pages, and they became recurring favorites.

Brandon and Brooklynn 2

We’re so happy that Brandon, who gets deployed from time to time, checks in with us when he’s in port.

He’s extremely patient and very kindly answers our numerous questions.

He’s also a good sport, because he agreed to let us profile him on the blog and on our Facebook page – just in time for Valentine’s Day!

Some Info On Brandon:

Age: 24

Height: 6’1”

Military Branch: Navy

Marital status: Divorced

Brooklynn’s age: 2

Brandon’s parents take care of Brooklynn when he is away.

November 2013 Update

When we heard back from him in late November 2013, he said,

“I have been busy for the most part. We went on deployment a couple of months ago and I’m still not home as of yet. I’m still single and live in Florida. Brooklynn (my daughter) is two now and has been getting spoiled by her grandparents since I have been gone. Not too much has changed for me besides seeing the other side of the world, but it was definitely one for the books. Hope all is well!”

Brandon sent us these photographs of his return and reunion with his daughter. They rank as some of the most popular we’ve ever shared!

Brandon and Brooklynn 5

Oh, The Cuteness and The Sweetness!

Brandon and Brooklynn 6

January 2014 Update 

In January we asked Brandon to give us an update. He said:

“My past year has been full of ups and downs. Getting adjusted to raising my daughter with the help of my parents was something I had to get used to. Brooklynn stayed with them while I was on deployment, and I knew she would be taken care of without worry.

In 2014 I’m planning on spending mostly with Brooklynn since most of 2013 was spent with me being away. I missed seeing her personality and mind develop while I was gone. She’s very opinionated and working on becoming independent even though I tell her she’s not allowed to grow up anymore. Lol!”

Movie Night with Brandon & Brooklynn

Movie Night with Brandon & Brooklynn

Valentine’s Day Update

I’m still single. I would like to date; I’ve always wanted a family . . . .

So this year I definitely want to keep my daughter close and possibly find someone to start a relationship with. Brooklynn is my heart and the only thing I am scared of in this world is something happening to her. She’s my angel . . . .”

Stop The Presses!

Ladies, not only is Brandon single – he’s ready to start dating!

Brandon and Brooklynn 8

Woot Woot!

Of course, you have to know that we stepped up and told Brandon that we’d be happy to help him with his search because, well, we’re just good like that.

Cough, cough.

And of course, you have to know that we’re going to be his big sisters and try to screen the women who show an interest because, well, we’re just super protective like that.

Just sayin’.

We’re excited at the prospect of Brandon finding love and we’re going to do whatever we can to assist him in any way.

Which leads us to . . . .

A Big Announcement!

Remember we told you that we were going to start pod-casting? Well, Brandon has agreed to join us on the podcast!

He’ll be giving us updates on Brooklynn raising him raising Brooklynn, military life and life as a Swirler who is trying to find love.

Woot to the woot, woot, WOOT!

We haven’t hammered out all the details and logistics, so stay tuned.

If you haven’t subscribed to the blog, make sure you do so you don’t miss any updates or announcements concerning the start of the podcast.

*Whispering . . . Just so you know, Brandon has a deep, baritone voice . . . .*

Brandon and Brooklynn 4

Join in the Fray: So, will you be Brandon – and Brooklynn’s – Valentine?

All rights reserved. Copyright © 2014 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, Dallas, TX, USA. Photos used with permission.

ASG 191 x 200 ASwirlGirlWant to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

 

 

 

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Filed Under: Announcements, Brandon and Brooklynn, BW/WM Tagged With: Black women, Black. White, Brandon, Brandon Welch, Brooklynn, dating, divorce, divorced, Florida, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, interracial romance, love, Marriage, military, military family, Navy, parents, podcast, single dad, swirl, swirling, Valentine, Valentine's Day

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Welcome!

I’m Michelle Matthews-Calloway, and I’m A Swirl Girl! Greetings to you from The Swirl World. We encourage Black women to expand their relationship options by dating and marrying interracially. Our overarching mission is to see Black Women live their best life. Come Swirl with us in The Swirl World™, where we celebrate Black women and the diverse men who love us!™

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