interracial Archives - Page 11 of 27

Lorraine Spencer – “Interracial Blogger Pioneer”

June 11, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 1 Comment

Adrienne and I hold the utmost respect and admiration for Lorraine Spencer, an interracial blogger and pioneer in the IR blogging space.

We think so highly of Lorraine that we wholeheartedly agreed that she would be given the honor of serving as the very first guest on our podcast.

We simply can’t say enough good things about her: Lorraine is a wife, mother, blogger, author and mentor.

She doesn’t brag on her connections or accomplishments, but she’s worked with the imitable IR blogging pioneer Evia Moore, publisher of Black Female Interracial Marriage (considered one of the “Mother Ships” of Black women’s interracial blogs).

Lorraine has also worked with Karyn Langhone-Folan, best-selling author of “Don’t Bring Home A White Boy” fame.

Lorraine is the author of two children’s books:

The Spider In My Mommy’s Car!

and

I Like Polka Dots On My Pizza!

Lorraine also has a book for adults scheduled for release on June 17 entitled When Family Does You Wrong.

Her Facebook page “Swirling and Marriage” has hundreds of fans, as does her Pinterest page.

For inspirational photos and stories of interracially married couples, read Lorraine’s blog at Swirling And Marriage.

For well-researched, informative and entertaining posts, read Lorraine’s blogs under the pen name “Swirl Queen” over at Beyond Black And White. You can also chat with her on Twitter @ForensicMommy.

Lorraine drops knowledge in our podcast with her. What an honor and privilege to have her as our first guest!

Podcast Episode 002: Lorraine Spencer – “Interracial Blogging Pioneer”

BIG, HUGE ANNOUNCEMENT: The Swirl World Podcast Is LIVE!

June 9, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway Leave a Comment

Woot Woot!

The Podcast is here! The podcast is here!

That’s right:

The FIRST iTunes podcast based in the United States devoted strictly and completely to Black women involved in interracial and intercultural relationships!!!

And before we proceed, we want to give a major shout out to interracial married couple Clove and Sherley aka CHO & NILLA of Montreal, Quebec. They’ve been blogging and podcasting from Canada for years, and to our knowledge THEY are the FIRST EVER to do an interracial podcast anywhere, and The Swirl World is the first in the United States. Be sure to go check them out and subscribe to their podcast. We plan to contact them to try to get them on our show. Woot! Woot!

Whew . . . !

OK, let me calm down and fill you in on the launch of The Swirl World Podcast:

The Back Story

Adrienne and I talked about in early 2013, and then decided to make launching a podcast one of our goals for 2014.

Adrienne, Patrick and I have been busy little beavers behind the scenes: Trying to figure podcasting out, inviting guests, recording shows, learning how to edit – you name it, we worked it.

After lots of Skype calls, dropped calls, technical snafus, learning how to work equipment, scheduling issues and changing of our launch dates, we finally got it together.

Whew! *Wipes brow*

The Purpose Of The Podcast

So, why a podcast? We’re glad you asked!

The Swirl World is extremely blessed to have legions of fans on Facebook, Twitter and here on the blog. We’re passionate about everyone – and Black women in particular – living their best life and achieving the happiness and security in relationships they desire. We believe that in order to do this, Black women must expand their dating and marriage options and open their lives up to quality men of all races and ethnicities.

And because we’re so passionate about our cause, we believe a podcast can serve well as an extension of the mediums we already use to promote our message. We want you to hear the passion in our voices and we want to develop deeper relationships with our audience.

With the podcast, our goal is to entertain, inform, educate and inspire you to live your best life. Why? Because Swirling Rocks, that’s why!

Who’s Going To Be On The Show?

We’re going to bring you a broad range of guests – both men and women – to discuss topics of interest to Swirlers. Through interesting, exciting (and often hilarious) conversations, we’re going to engage our guests in subjects concerning:

Dating
Vetting
Marriage
Parenting
Careers
Education
Entrepreneurship
Beauty and Fashion
Lifestyle interests
Physical Health and Wellness
Mental Health

Upcoming guests include Swirl couples, authors, business owners, counselors, well-known interracial bloggers, and educators.

As an added bonus: We’re also going to bring you conversations with Swirling couples who are in the military.

How Do I Access The Podcast?

Run, don’t walk, over to iTunes and SUBSCRIBE!

Here are the steps from Apple on how to find and subscribe to a podcast:

Open iTunes. If you do not have iTunes, download the latest version of iTunes, free.
In the upper-right corner of iTunes, click iTunes Store in the navigation bar.
Click Podcasts in the navigation bar.
In the “Search Store” field, enter “The Swirl World Podcast.” We should pop right up.
When you find us, you can:
- Stream the FREE podcast directly from the store by double-clicking an episode.
- Download a specific episode to your iTunes library by clicking the Free button next to an individual episode.
- Subscribe to the podcast by selecting Subscribe below the cover art on the left of the podcast page. We want you to subscribe because we don’t want you to miss an episode!

To listen to episodes you have downloaded to your iTunes library:

Navigate to Library on the right side of the navigation bar in iTunes.
Select Podcasts from the Library pop-up menu.
Click The Swirl World to see all the episodes.
Double-click an episode to play it.

If you’d prefer to watch a video outlining the steps, here’s one from Hubspot. Just make sure to insert The Swirl World Podcast in your searches.

A link to the podcast on iTunes will also be available in every post and in the sidebar.

Hey! I Wanna Be On The Show – Or I Know Somebody Who Should!

We’re always on the lookout for great people to feature on the podcast. If you have a product, business, skill or a good story to tell, contact us at Podcast@TheSwirlWorld.com. We read and respond to every email.

Put A Face With A Voice

Many of you already know us from Facebook, but just in case you don’t have Facebook, let me introduce The Swirl World Team so you can put a face with the voices you’ll be hearing.

Michelle Matthews Calloway – Lafayette, LA & Dallas, TX

I’m all over the place. If you see a woman with her fingers in a lot of pies, that would be me. Check out the About page to learn more.

Adrienne London Leach – Bridgeport, West Virginia

Adrienne is co-host of the podcast, manager of The Swirl World’s Facebook page and my partner in crime!

Patrick J. Browne – Dublin, Ireland

You’ll hear Patrick’s voice introducing each podcast episode. Patrick is our audio editing guru and technology master. He’s a sweetheart and we love him to pieces.

Mark Custard – Buffalo, NY

Mark will soon launch a new column on the blog entitled, “And On Another Note.” His column (and occasional videos!) will reflect his thoughts, musings and advice on dating Black women gleaned from his personal experiences. A father of two, he’ll also share his thoughts on parenting.

Jeff Lyons – Oxnard, CA

Jeff is also launching a new column on The Swirl World. His column, “Just Ask Jeff,” is designed to answer Black women’s questions about dating, mating and relating to White men. Inbox your questions to us on Facebook or send an email to aswirlgirl@theswirlworld.com.

Michael Miocevich – Perth, Australia

Mike holds the distinction of being the most tenured of the guys on the team. His “Mondays With Mike” column garners LOTS of readers and attention both here and in Australia, his homeland – so much so that he appeared as a guest on a national television show! Mike is extremely prolific and publishes an amazing literary website, 500and50.com.

Follow Mike on Twitter @500and50 and read his blog at 500and50.com, or message him on his 500and50 Facebook page.

Click here to view Mike’s recent appearance on an Australian national television show.

Be Social – Subscribe, Subscribe, Subscribe!

To go to the iTunes podcast, view episodes and subscribe, click here.

Here’s The First Episode – Head Over To iTunes For More!

If you prefer, you can also catch the podcast on Sound Cloud!

Thanks so much for your continued support. We can’t do this without YOU!
Keep Swirling, and remember: Life Is Better – In The Swirl World!™

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To “Like” us on Facebook, click here

To follow Michelle on Twitter, click here

To follow Michelle on Instagram, click here

To network with Michelle on LinkedIn, click here

How To Change Your Life – Part 2

June 5, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway Leave a Comment

Stagnant? Afraid? In a rut?

In this week’s post, Mike shares the “How To” steps he used and is using to change his life.

Mike says:

Step One

First, ask for help if you need it. Here at the Swirl World we are more than happy to help you out. Michelle and Adrienne have done as much for me, and I will try my best to help anyone who asks for it.

It’s easier for a person standing on solid ground to help someone out of a swamp than you pulling yourself up by your will alone. Often the people helping you up are people just like you – they know what being trapped feels like. They know the way to get out, and accepting their help is no weakness.

Step Two

Secondly, we’ve got to be open to forgiveness. Forgiveness, not only just for those who have hurt us in the past or who may even be hurting us in the present, but also forgiveness for ourselves.

You are a human being, so you’ve made mistakes. We all do. But let’s not let the mistakes of our past crush our futures. If you keep carrying that burden, when you hit hard trials the burden is likely to pull you down further than if you had left it behind.

Focusing constantly on what you think you have done wrong and how it has brought you to your present state isn’t going to do anything to help you do things right in the future. Instead, you’ll remain stuck in the swamp.

Step Three

Make a conscious decision to move past any shame. The shame we feel because of our previous choices can even make us believe that we deserve to be stuck where we are.

It’s a vicious cycle: Shame makes you feel you deserve to be where you are, this crippling belief renders you unlikely to call out for help, and you wind up staying where you are, even when help is available – the help that will be freely given and enable you to get back on solid ground.

Do This For Me

I’d like to get you to do something real quick. Imagine all your troubles as being that same burden. All those life decisions you made, missed opportunities, fear that you’ve missed your chance, or that you’ll never be able to get where you want to be in life.

Put them all in a big, heavy pack in your mind and feel its weight on your shoulders. Pretty heavy, huh? Makes it kind of hard to move and change your direction doesn’t it?

Now imagine a hole opening up behind you, and the pack suddenly falling from your back and being swallowed up and sealed, never to hold you down again.

All your worries, troubles and misapprehension for the future has now been taken off you. That’s forgiveness.

It means we get to begin again, at any stage, and take the opportunities given to us.

Choose To Move Forward

Swirling is going to be daunting to a lot of people, and lots will feel weighed down by the things that have happened previously. Don’t let it. Take this moment to stop, consider where you are, and drop all the negativity that impedes you.

It is never too late to make a change, and you are always better off leaving it behind and choosing a better path in life. I know I have, and I invite you to join me.

Cheers,

Mike

—————————-

In Case You Missed It

Click here to view Mike’s recent appearance on an Australian national television show.

Click here to read Part One.

Got a question for Mike? Send it to us via inbox on The Swirl World’s Facebook page or by email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Follow Mike on Twitter @500and50 and read his blog at 500and50.com, or message him on his 500and50 Facebook page.

How To Change Your Life – And End Up On a National Television Show!

May 20, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 3 Comments

Good grief! We’ve been on pins and needles – sitting on this news for about a month now and biting our nails in anticipation of sharing it:

Guess what???

Our man Mike In Australia (Michael Miocevich) was on a national television show – talking about SWIRLING!!!

*Jumping up and down*

We were certainly excited that Mike – OUR Mike – received this national coverage and attention.

Seems the producer planned to do a show on Swirling In Australia (later entitled “Dating Race”). She conducted some online searches to find men in Australia who preferred Black women.

Well, we’ve been doing “Monday’s With Mike” for some months now, so guess who she found???

Yeppers!

Out of ALL the men in Australia, she found OUR Mike.

OUR. Mike!

Woot Woot!

One of the things we strive to do in The Swirl World is build relationships. We practice good blogging netiquette and we believe in crediting our sources, both here and on our Facebook page.

We don’t bash –preferring instead to uplift and support.

Particularly special to us is the fact that in some small way, we are making a difference and changing lives – one person at a time.

But enough of the self-congratulations. We’ll let Mike tell you about his experience.

This excerpt is Part 1 – we have more to come!

Mike says:

“So, about a month ago I get a message from Elise Potaka, producer for SBS TV Australia (one of two public national broadcasters, which is bigger than you might think here in Oz), to talk to her about interracial dating, my history of it, ideas and opinions, etc.

Not a problem, I thought; I am more than happy to help anyone who is interested.

Turns out they were looking to do a TV show about it, and got all kinds of information from me about the Swirling community and my life as a Swirler.

Then came the hard question: They wanted to fly me out to the show to be in the audience!

Now this is the part that shocked me. I’ve never been given any kind of opportunity like this before.

To be flown across the country and put up at a hotel and then be on a national TV show?

Unimaginable. So I was nervous. And very hesitant.

You see, for a lot of my life I’ve felt like an outsider – to friends, family, people I meet.

I often don’t feel comfortable around them. I was very much worried about how I might come across for the show.

But then I had to follow the logic of the situation.

I had been invited on because I have been making steps towards a better life. I had taken the chance when I first contacted The Swirl World via Facebook.

I’d done so again when they got me to do a bit of a write-up about myself. Then again when they had me do “Monday’s with Mike,” and again when encouraging me to start my own writing blog.

After that much love and encouragement, I couldn’t let them down.

I couldn’t let myself down.

So I took the chance. And I am so thankful I did! I now feel more comfortable about who I am in my life than I ever have. I stood up for who I am and what I believe – and I felt stronger for it.

I have a lot of big plans I want to make happen, and a lot of changes I want to make in my life before I get to where I want to be, Taking this step has brought a lot of that closer.

So if I have one piece of advice to offer it’s this – If you see an opportunity and you’re hesitant because you worry what others might think or say, don’t be.

Take the leap of faith and go for it, because the rewards in confidence and self-esteem will likely outweigh any physical things you get from it.

Each step you take in the right direction will open new doors and new opportunities. Trust in yourself and step through them. When you look back, you’ll be amazed at the difference it has made!

Cheers,

Mike

To watch the show (and gain an interesting perspective on interracial dating in Australia – plus some delicious accents) – click here.

Mike networked with some of the people on the show and we hope to have some future posts featuring the other guests.

Whew! We can’t wait to see what happens with Mike’s continuing metamorphosis.

Stay tuned for more!

Got a question for Michael Miocevich? Send it to us via inbox on The Swirl World’s Facebook page or by email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Follow Mike on Twitter @500and50 and read his blog at 500and50.com, or message him on his 500and50 Facebook page.

What KKK Can Teach Us About Love

May 5, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 2 Comments

No, we’re not talking about that KKK – we’re talking about Kyler and Katia Kline!

Kylar and Katia hiking on Cheyenne Mountain in Colorado

Despite the naysayers and despite the ugliness and ignorance surrounding a recent highly publicized, highly dysfunctional interracial “relationship” that has dominated the news, interracial relationships – devoid of the cray-cray – are thriving.

Black women are living well and more and more of them are enjoying their lives, thumbing their collective noses at the nonsense and the madness and demonstrating to the world what real love is all about.

These Black women are dating, marrying and building families. Many are married to men we call “warriors” – our military men who are on the front lines protecting our freedoms.

(And many of them are “warriors” themselves!)

This week we take a refreshing break from the dysfunction and the madness and bring you a wonderful couple who, despite the deployments that are the norm of military life, are happy and whole – loving each other and living life to the fullest.

Ladies and Gentlemen, meet Kyler and Katia Kline.

In most instances the wife fills out our interview questionnaire. But in the case of Kyler and Katia, Kyler wanted to be the one to share their very special story – and in so doing proclaim his love of Katia to the world!

Enjoy their beautiful pictures – and enjoy their love!

Where do you live?

We live in Clarksville, Tennessee, in the greatest nation in the world.

How long you have been together?

We have been together for four years, three of which we have been happily married.

What are the names and ages of your children and/or grandchildren?

We currently do not have any children, but have already picked out some names for when the time comes.

How/where did you meet?
We first meet in the 10th grade and became friends and stayed friends throughout the years.

She shared an apartment with a good friend of mine and while home on leave we started talking and spending time together, and with my irresistible charm and good looks we decided to keep talking long distance.

After 6 months we decided to make it serious, and 6 months after that she sacrificed her current life to marry and eventually come live with me in Colorado – something I will forever be grateful for.

What was your defining moment – that moment when you each knew you were in love?

We were at her apartment watching a movie together and we started holding hands. It was at this time I finally knew I was falling in love with her.

Then, when I was deployed to Afghanistan she sang, “You Are My Sunshine” to me. It was at this time I KNEW I loved her.

Our coming home kiss when my unit arrived home from Afghanistan – our first kiss in a year!

How did you families and friends respond to the news of your relationship?

My sisters were worried for their little brother as always and provided me with advice, yet they loved Katia and were happy and supportive of us.

My father was supportive of our relationship, but on hearing news that we wanted to get married expressed strongly that we at the age of 21 were too young to get married. He was extremely upset after hearing that we did get married but later approved of it after hearing words of wisdom from my Step-Mom. He then even offered Katia a room at his house while I was deployed.

My biological mom was of a different side and became slightly prejudiced. She did not expect to have her son dating a beautiful young Black lady; furthermore upon hearing of our engagement she expressed she wanted white grandkids. This was deeply upsetting to us.

But after getting to know Katia she began to love her and they are now close loving friends as mother and daughter in law, and even call each other regularly. My Mom also can’t wait for the cutest mixed babies the world will have ever seen!

Katia and I before we got married. She is holding my niece Elizabeth.

The majority of our friends were very happy and supportive, but some of my male friends had the suspicion that she may be a “Tag Chaser,” which is a person who wants to date a soldier for the benefits or nostalgia of it. Most people don’t realize how poorly soldiers get paid till they marry one. But after meeting her they realized she was a benevolent young lady who loved me for me, and were then supportive.

The Army’s birthday ball at Fort Carson

How did you handle it?

I followed my heart, and could not be happier that I did.

This is my favorite picture of Katia, which I kept on me at all times while deployed in Afghanistan

What do you like most about your mate?

Everything not to sound corny, but I love how kind and loving she is, her smile, how she can sometimes be a handful, that she’s out going and fun, her body. And most of all that she chose to spend the rest of her life loving me.

This photo was our honeymoon night. Unfortunately we couldn’t go on a real vacation because I was only home for two weeks and had to go back to Afghanistan.

What advice would you give to others who are interested in dating/marrying interracially?

I don’t see races, I only see many Americans of different cultures all of which I love. Unfortunately not everyone in America feels this way, so be ready for constant glares and judgment from others in public. This more so happens to my wife when I’m with her we only get glares and looks, most likely because of my size I tend to be intimidating.

She has even been attacked on face book before, being called many names. But we still publicly display how proud we are to be together and to be in love with one another.

Our first baseball game together at the Denver Colorado Rockies stadium. We found that baseball was to boring for us.

Anything else you believe is pertinent or just want to add?

We love your page and what it stands for!

THIS, Ladies and Gentleman, is what love is supposed to be like: Pure, proud and real. Thanks to Kyler for the service he provides to our country and thanks to Katia for being the wind beneath his wings!

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com.

How Do You Mend A Broken Heart? The Love Story Of Brad And Jamaica Miller – The Conclusion

April 30, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 3 Comments

For the past two weeks we have shared Part 1 and Part 2 of the story of Jamaica and Brad Miller, a military couple currently stationed in Louisiana.

Jamaica poured out her heart and shared her story with us – the good, the bad and the ugly. Some of her story we deemed too intimate and too personal to share via this medium, yet we’re honored and humbled Jamaica trusted us with her story and felt comfortable enough to let us peek into her experiences.

Jamaica left no stone unturned and hopes her story serves as an inspiration to other women.

Jamaica’s story is one of blood, sweat and a bucket load of tears. In many ways Jamaica is – no, was – a classic representation of a woman who stays in an abusive, dead-end relationship for far too long – and to her own detriment.

Thankfully, Jamaica was able to file for divorce and not only make a new start, but find a true and lasting love. Sadly, many women who flee physical, mental and emotionally abusive relationships are not as fortunate: Almost 1-million domestic violence incidents are reported each year (and if this is the number of reported incidents, can you imagine what the number would be if all incidents were reported???) [Source]

On average, 3 women and 1 man are murdered by their partner each day.

Each. Day.

Ponder that fact as you read the concluding installment of Jamaica Miller’s story:

I filed for divorce again and moved out to my sister’s house. June came and I saw on Facebook that Brad would be returning to the states. I thought he would return to Kentucky and wondered how I would handle it, but he was sent to Louisiana.

I was happy for him and glad that he was back from his deployment safe and sound. I watched him on Facebook and noticed how women paid him compliments and obviously tried to get to know him. I had to admit that jealousy and other feelings were taking over me.

I prayed, Lord what is happening to me? I kept my distance but I knew in my heart this time I clearly wanted more.

The divorce was in process. I had signed my papers and was just waiting on my ex to sign his. Months passed by and still nothing. After much begging and pleading, he finally signed.

I didn’t immediately run to Brad. I talked to him from time to time but I kept my feelings hidden. Months passed and I heard nothing other than he was just enjoying his leave.

I continued to see pictures of him living, dating and enjoying life. Feeling unhappy, I finally expressed to him that I didn’t like it. He reminded me we were just friends. I thought, Oh ok, Jamaica – that’s all you wanted from day one, right? For him to be a friend?

I kept praying, and asked the Lord if Brad was the man for me. I prayed that if there was anything ungodly in him that God would remove it from him, if he was the man He had for me.

By this time me and Brad’s conversations had only been on Facebook. I wanted to hear his voice but wasn’t ready to express I wanted more.

So you know the info tab that’s on Facebook? Well, it had his phone number so I saved it to my phone. It took me two weeks to actually use it! LOL!

I took a deep breath and texted, “Hello friend it’s Jamaica. I’m so glad you made it back safe. Be good, don’t break hearts.”

He texted me back and said, “I wouldn’t if you’ll just be my girl already! Stop telling me no – there’s nothing stopping you now.”

I laughed and said, Ok. We conversed and sent messages and acknowledged we had feelings – and now that we’d said it, long distance was in our way now.

At the end of August I got a message from Brad saying, “I’m coming to see you. I can’t take it anymore.” I said, “You’re kidding, right?”

He said, “Nope!”

I was nervous, not knowing if he’d be the same man behind the messages and conversations. On August 31 he texted me and said, “I’m outside.”

I froze a good 10 minutes before making it to the door. I went outside to his truck and we hugged, our smiles big as ever. The first thing he said was, “Do you have a bag I can use for my shoes? I kinda just through them in my truck – I was just ready to get to you!”

I laughed and said sure. We headed to my sister’s house. All I remember is him holding my hand the whole ride telling me I’m beautiful. I felt like a princess.

I knew this was my sunshine after the storm!!!!

He could only stay four days and by October we knew we wanted our relationship to go further. He asked me to move to Louisiana. He continued to say there wasn’t much there, but that he’d make it worth it for his family.

On Jan 29th he asked me to marry him! I started planning a small wedding. On February 2 he got baptized. We got married on February 14!

We asked, What was your defining moment – that moment when you each knew you were in love?

Jamaica’s response: The defining moment I knew I was in love was our first kiss. It lasted forever with him just holding me tight!!

Brad’s response: My defining moment was making two back-to-back trips to see Jamaica. I would never travel to see a woman – but she was worth it!

How did you families and friends respond to the news of your relationship? How did you handle it?

I’ve attached a picture of a text message showing his Mom and Dad’s responses:

After we got married, Brad called his aunt. They all congratulated us.

When Brad came to town to see me that first time, we went to my sister’s house. My nieces and nephew ran to the door to meet him. My oldest sister just kept giving me that look and whispered, “He’s the one – keep him!” Lol! For my sister to say that, I knew I was on the right path.

Later my little sister came in town from Lexington. We sat up and chatted for a while. She said, “I can tell you like him. I know he’s the one so take your time and I can’t wait to be in your wedding!” LOL

My Mom and Dad gave their seal of approval and welcomed Brad to the family. They asked him if his parents were ok with him dating outside his race and he replied, “Yes – from the time I was born!” LOL

What do you like most about your mate?

Jamaica’s response: What I like most about my husband is his drive to go above and beyond for his family. Our daughter wanted to change the color of her dresser and put her new initial “M” on it – and he did just that.

Brad’s response: What I like most about my wife is that she loves me no matter the trail of clothes I leave from the shower to the closet after pt! At first she fussed but now I just leave a note saying, Sorry, Hun I had to rush back to work to bring home the bacon. I LOVE YOU !!!

What advice would you give to others who are interested in dating/marrying interracially?

Our advice would be, Go for it! Love comes in all shades. Don’t be afraid and don’t worry about the dirty looks you get. The only thing that matters is the love you have for each other and how happy you are.

Most important don’t try to change each other, but enjoy the things that make you different. For the first time ever, I rode a horse for my husband. I was scared out my mind at first but I had fun! LOL

For us, we know God doesn’t make mistakes. Make God the center In all you do!!!

So that’s us, the Millers. I hope our story touches others’ hearts, knowing that anything is possible!!!

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, call the National Domestic HOTLINE at 1-800-799-7233 | 1-800-787-3224 (TTY) or visit TheHotline.org.

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com.

How Do You Mend A Broken Heart? The Love Story Of Brad And Jamaica Miller – Part 2

April 23, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 4 Comments

Last week we gave you Part 1 of the story of Brad and Jamaica Miller, an interracial couple who shared their photos with The Swirl World Facebook page.

We enjoy sharing beautiful photos of couples, yet we’re always aware there is a story behind the photo – what were the circumstances bringing this couple get together? Where did they meet? How did they manage to fall in love?

One thing about life and love: Sometimes it doesn’t come wrapped in a pretty package, all neatly tied with a bow.

Sometimes life is convoluted and conflicting, yet somehow it all seems to work out in the end.

Try to remain judgment free.

Jamaica continues:

Who was on the line? My now-husband Brad trying get his Mack on!

He’d seen me at the mall and gotten my number from one of my friends. He proceeded to say, “Hey, didn’t I just see you at the mall?”

Not knowing who the man was, I replied, “No, I’m sure of it. There’s no way.”

He says, “Are you sure?”

When I said yes, he said, “You must have a twin as beautiful as you – she walked right past me in the mall!”

He sent me a friend request on Facebook and was honest about the fact that he was interested in me but my guard was up wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy high from all the hurt and pain I’d been through. I knew he was interested in more, but I told him that I was going through a divorce and could not move forward with anyone until and unless it was final.

Of course in the back of my head I wished I was completely free but I detached myself from Brad and told him we could never be anything more. Right after that, Brad was deployed to Korea.

During the midst of it all I prayed to God and asked, what is this??? Here’s this man who seems really nice and could be all a girl could ever want for a man and husband.

I said this can’t be your work because I’m still married and I know you forbid this behavior. I was seeing all of what Brad was and I prayed that my husband could be that type of man too.

So, even though I was confused as ever, I became even more determined to try to work things out with my husband.

Three months pass by, and then I looked up and a more than a year had passed. In that time my marriage hadn’t gotten any better and my husband was still just going from woman to woman. I was still one foot out the door seeing no nope.

Orders come up that my husband is getting stationed back in Kentucky. I was sad to leave my church home, friends and my sisters. I wanted to stay right there, which I could have done, but my heart I believed God was saying, “Go; just trust me.”

It was then early December 2012, and we were back on the road to Kentucky. We stopped off to visit family in South Carolina.

On December 25 I was in bed crying about how unhappy I was. All I wanted was for my husband to love me – this was the story of my life. It was Christmas and all he had done was leave me behind at the house – again.

Suddenly there was a loud knock at the door. Someone rushed in to tell us my husband had been in a car accident. My heart was racing with mixed feelings – Lord . . . ?

We get to the scene and it was a sight to see: I had been crying about my husband leaving me at home, but if he’d taken me with him, that would’ve been me in the passenger seat – lifeless.

His best friend died on impact. My husband, who was driving, had broken ribs and head trauma. His cousin, who was in the back seat on the right side, had his face cut open.

We were now stuck in South Carolina and traveling back and forth to Fort Jackson. I’m praying, Lord why??? What are you telling me??? All I could hear was “Just trust me.” I instantly thought, ‘Till death do us part,’ and soldiered on.

I nursed my husband back to health, listening to his many cries to the doctors of “Where’s my wife? I need her here!” He was in ICU and the times were limited when I could visit.

One trying month passed. I thought the accident was a sign to keep working at my marriage, but nope. As soon as the doctor cleared him to take it slow and get back to living, he left me at his Mom’s house and took a flight back to Colorado to be with another woman – three days before my 26th birthday.

The texts and lies continued until finally a video of him in the act confirmed it all. I said, “Lord you told me to trust in you, but this can’t be it right?

March came and I couldn’t wait to get home to family. My sisters could tell something was wrong. They know Kentucky isn’t home for me. Even so, I kept saying I was fine.

April came and my husband was seeing yet another woman. I called my sisters in Christ and let them know nothing had changed; they reminded me of the Lord’s vision of marriage. I got what was to be my last phone call from one of my husband’s women and told that woman, “You can have him.” I filed for divorce again, and this time I meant it.

Stay tuned for the final installment in Part 3.

Join In The Fray: Have you ever stayed too long in a dead-end relationship? What finally made you call it quits?

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com.

How Do You Mend A Broken Heart?

April 16, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway Leave a Comment

We’ve all seen it: Pictures of a storybook wedding complete with a dreamy guy and girl whose story seems to come straight out of a fairy tale.

Even though in our little girl hearts many of us would love to be that girl in the photos, if we’re honest life experiences have taught our “big girl” hearts that sometimes the road to love is not characterized by a smoothly sailing ship – no, sometimes the road to love is filled with bumps and bruises – real ones.

Mrs. Jamaica Miller, wife of Brad Miller reached out to us on our Facebook page. She shared her storybook photos – and was also very honest and transparent in telling the not so pretty story that preceded it.

Over the next few posts we’ll share Jamaica’s story with you as she shared it with us.

Where do you live?

Fort Polk, Louisiana

How long you have been married?

Six amazing months!

What are the names and ages of your children and/or grandchildren?

We have the most beautiful little girl! Her name is Raionna. She’s 9, and she’s from a past relationship.

For my daughter, this is all she ever wanted and even for myself as a mother living the “single mom” life. My husband instantly took to her and asked me if he could adopt her. As a mother I couldn’t want anything more but for my daughter to have two parents who love her. I asked for her approval and said, “Do you want Brad to be your father?” She said, “YES!”

If you were to ask my husband today what he lives for, his reply would be to be an amazing father to provide all the things he never had, and the most admirable one of all, to serve his country. He’s the most dedicated soldier I know!!! We’re currently “ttc” (trying to conceive).

How/where did you meet?

Are you ready? This is so funny. So by 2009 I had moved away from Kentucky, which is my childhood home. Now to Colorado Springs, CO – in this time frame my now husband had joined the army and arrived to his first duty station in Kentucky. We didn’t cross paths at all. This is just a little history so you can understand better.

I was previously married, and I was in an abusive marriage. I married a man when all the signs were pointing not too. You see, I grew up with the image “this is love.” Ugh! I’m all teary-eyed! Lol.

So, I’d arrived in Colorado with the drive, and the thought, “This (my previous marriage) will work. God is with me; He can change this man.”

Oh boy was I wrong! I was thinking, ‘New place; new people.’ Nope! My ex-husband had women lined up to meet – I never saw a phone bill so long. Try not to cry as I continue, but I know my testimony will change lives.

So that first year my life was hell. Picture that little girl at the door begging her Daddy not to go. That was me – that wife begging her husband not to go, knowing he’s running to another woman – and with a push and a punch for me to stay put.

Long story short, after six months in he left me for another woman, with no food, no money, not knowing where to start. Calls from other women – their pregnant calls asking me who I was, as if I was the other woman and was not his wife; like I’m just his crazy baby mom, etc.

You can only imagine how many times the police were called, how many bruises I had hiding under my clothes.

I cried, I cried; I prayed and I cried. The more I cried, the more he left and the closer me and God got. I was on my knees praying, “Lord, I know, I know this isn’t what You have planned for me. That little girl in the other room – I need to get up for her.

I prayed, “Lord, what is Your purpose for me? I know it’s greater than my own understanding. Lord, please find me a church home so I can start on this walk with you.”

Fast forward two years. Same troubles; same tears. I sit on the porch and I see a woman crossing the street toward me. I said in my head, “Please don’t!” She approaches and says, “Hi! My name is Kenyatta. I make jewelry; you should come check it out.”

Me, though I’m a shy soul, I said yes. Her home was so welcoming! She continued to tell me about her wonderful church, which was Open Bible Baptist Church. From that day forward I attended church and car-pooled with her.

My husband only came home for clothes. Days went by with the sun coming up and I still hadn’t seen him. It seemed the closer to God I got, the further he was into the world.

A year later I gave my life to The Lord I was saved and baptized. I separated and filed for divorce after my husband’s last attack landed me in the hospital with a hand cast because I was fighting for dear life trying to get away.

I enrolled in school to become a pharmacy tech, left high and dry and started living on my own. I landed a job in a pharmacy through my church two months into school. My life began to blossom and I couldn’t be more happy. My birthday was February 15 birthday is here and 24 never felt so good.

Two days later I received a Facebook message – yes, FACEBOOK. Guess who it was?

————–

Stay tuned for Part II of “How Do You Mend A Broken Heart!”

Join In The Fray: Do you believe love comes in neat little packages? Why or why not?

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com.

How To Say Hi To A Guy And Wind Up Married to Him For 20 Years

April 7, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 3 Comments

We’ve run a post or two on women who made “the first move” and wound up with the man of their dreams.

And yes, we know a big debate exists on whether women should be first to make a move.

Our position on the subject? Suffice it to say that we believe there’s a HUGE difference between being “Thirsty” and being “Friendly” – and a smart woman (and man) is able to tell the difference.

With that out-of-the-way, meet another couple who exemplifies our theme of Ordinary People . . . Extraordinary Love:

Niecy and Jeff Aldrich!

Niecy and Jeff Aldrich’s wedding photo

Niecy shared this beautiful photo below of her and Jeff on our Facebook page and it generated tons of comments and likes. We just had to get their story – and get ready to be surprised, because what Niecy did was . . . well, read on and find out!

Where do you live?

We live in Suffolk, VA

How long you have been together?

Almost half my life! We’ve been together 22 years and married almost 20 of those years.

What are the names and ages of your children and/or grandchildren?

Oh Wow! I was divorced with 3 children when we met and yet . . . Are you getting why I love this man so much???

Any who, our children’s names are Connis (who is now 29), Zavier (now 28), Letia (26 now) and Jovani, now 13.

We also have 5 grandchildren; Elijah 8, Kamiyah 6, Kylie 5, Dexter 4 and Cayden is 18 months:

Whew! Seems like a lot when you spell it out but I love them all as one. They make me crazy and happy all at once.

13-year old Javoni

How/where did you meet?

We met in Florida, my home state at the Mayport Naval Station … I can see it in my head, me walking around with my girls trying to look cute (lol!)

I remember passing this group of guys that was trying to get my attention. I kept walking of course, but on the way back he (Jeff) caught my eye.

I thought it would probably annoy his friends if I stopped to talk to him (the only White guy in the group), so I did (smile).

I was going to annoy them all and then move on but when I stepped up to him and said “Hello,” he gave me this quizzical look as if to say, “Me?”

It was his eyes . . . they grabbed me. I said something really lame like, “I’m going to marry you and have a daughter with those eyes…. 1 out of 3 ain’t bad – I’ll take it! Lol!

What was your defining moment – that moment when you each knew you were in love?

The moment he met my children and didn’t bat an eye, I knew he was sent to me for my soul mate.

How did you families and friends respond to the news of your relationship? How did you handle it?

My family is literally a melting pot and I grew up around interracial couples, so my family was fine with us.

Some of my friends – or ex-friends, I should say – were a different story. I was called a “sellout” among other things. I had one so-called friend ask me, “How can you sleep with a white man?”

I had a big fight with one that said “White people smell like wet dogs.” Needless to say I showed her the door face first … I know violence was not the right response but it felt good at the time.

Despite all the negativity we encountered at the beginning we held hands, kept our heads up and ignored the looks and comments. To make a very long story short . . . . Love truly is blind, deaf and dumb, too.

What do you like most about your mate?

The thing I’ve always loved the most about Jeff is the way he loves me! When he says he loves me I can feel it. I see it when he looks at me. He has never wavered in his love for me.

What advice would you give to others who are interested in dating/marrying interracially?

The only advice I could give is to love yourself first. That way, when love comes in whatever way, shape or form you will recognize it.

Any parting words?

All I have left is, “I Love You Jeff, more today than yesterday. I’m so grateful that God blessed me with you!”

Jeff Aldrich, who is currently deployed

One more thing, Ladies don’t be shy – take a chance. Walk over; say hi to a guy you like . . . This could be you 22 years from today!

All we have to say is, being friendly certainly worked for Niecy!

Join in the Fray: How do YOU define “Thirsty” and “Friendly?”

All rights reserved. All work is the copyright of the respective owner, otherwise copyright © 2014 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, Dallas, TX, USA. Photos used with permission.

Want to be profiled here on the blog and/or on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Mondays With Mike: The Providence Of Love

March 31, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway Leave a Comment

Though we are not a dating site by any means, here at The Swirl World we pride ourselves on the quality of connections we make.

Our man Mike in Australia is no exception. We love him to pieces, Adrienne and I, and he feels the same way about us.

We met providentially – and then lo and behold, Cupid got in the mix!

Remember the movie Eat, Pray, Love starring Julia Roberts?

For many of us, love is a process. Sometimes Love finds us – or better yet, we find it – in the strangest of ways.

Cue the roses, wine and violins, because this one is a doozy! We’ll let Mike tell you:

The Fear Factor
We’re often convinced that things are either going to plan, coasting in neutral, or falling apart completely.

While we do have a great deal of control over our lives, sometimes we can be too afraid of what we think is a loss of control, and embrace the certainty that comes with fear of the unknown, and stick to what we know.

This isn’t something unnatural, as everyone needs to have a strong foundation from which they can start from, and rely upon to be unchanging in their lives. But that’s what it just is – a foundation.

You need to be able to build up and branch out from those places, and not just rely on the solitary comforts they provide. Otherwise you wake up one day thinking to yourself that your time has passed you by, and you had a chance before but now it’s gone and there is no bringing it back.

You could use that as a justification to sticking with what you know, resigning yourself to the fact that this is as good as it gets, and that’s that.

Fate Versus Destiny – The Power Of A Moment
Or, you could do something else. I believe a moment acted upon is a moment that is never lost, and can often bring great rewards and opportunities.

It’s the question of fate versus destiny. You could say they mean essentially the same thing, but that’s never rung true for me. It seems that fate is something which happens if you believe that things can’t ever change, that the time you had to be adventurous and excited has gone, and you’re stuck where you are.

Destiny, I believe, is what happens when you take action, no matter what it is, and strike out into the unknown. You never know where it’s going to take you. It looks dangerous, you might get hurt, and you’ll definitely have your setbacks.

But it’s also thrilling. And it’s also life affirming. It makes you feel something strong to the core of your marrow, and often rewards you well for taking the first step.

What Happened When I Stopped Falling For The Okey-Doke

So, what does this have to do with Swirling? Well I’ll tell you. For a long while I thought that black women weren’t interested in white men. I was caught by that lie hook, line and sinker. Then I randomly searched on YouTube one day and found I was completely mistaken. One video led to the next and then to the next, which led me to a YouTube channel. I thought I would send a message to via their Facebook page, saying how much I loved what they did and thanked them for encouraging swirling.

Providence

Turns out I sent the message to the wrong page, but struck up a great conversation with Michelle and Adrienne, Admins of The Swirl World. They were fantastically warm and inviting, great with a conversation (which we’ve held for a long time now), and really encouraging.

Serendipity

It’s from there I told them about my writing, which they encouraged again, to poetry, to saying I should post poetry for women on #blackgirlsunday on twitter, to me doing so and having a great reception and lots of fun, to finding a girl on there who was really great to talk to, and ending up finding her as my muse for a lot of my creativity, and developing an ongoing relationship with her!

The Power Of One Small Step

If I had not made that first small step, which led me to message the wrong page (which in the end turned out to be the right one!), I’d still be back where I was 6 months ago.

I can tell you that in the last 6 months I have fallen in love with my life once again. I live for feeling my heart flutter, the closeness, the love, the passion and inspiration. And even if this were to end in heartbreak (which I am quite intent on making sure does not happen), I would have to be glad and thankful for this opportunity to show love and have this happiness.

So my main thought today is this – Put yourself out there. Take the chance; you never know where you’ll be taken by the simplest of actions!

You’ll grow stronger than you had ever thought and be richer for it, guaranteed. That’s why I am so glad to see the Swirl World getting people to open up, put themselves out there, and find what they want in life.

Go for it people, you have nothing to lose.

Cheers!

Mike

Editor’s Note: Stay tuned for updates in this unfolding love story!
___________

Join in the Fray: What small step do YOU need to make?

Got a question for Mike? Send it to us via inbox on The Swirl World’s Facebook page or by email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Follow Mike on Twitter @500and50 read his blog at 500and50.com, or message him on his 500and50 Facebook page.

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com.

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Lorraine Spencer – “Interracial Blogger Pioneer”

The Spider In My Mommy’s Car!

I Like Polka Dots On My Pizza!

Podcast Episode 002: Lorraine Spencer – “Interracial Blogging Pioneer”

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How To Change Your Life – Part 2

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How To Change Your Life – And End Up On a National Television Show!

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What KKK Can Teach Us About Love

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How Do You Mend A Broken Heart? The Love Story Of Brad And Jamaica Miller – The Conclusion

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How Do You Mend A Broken Heart? The Love Story Of Brad And Jamaica Miller – Part 2

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How Do You Mend A Broken Heart?

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How To Say Hi To A Guy And Wind Up Married to Him For 20 Years

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Mondays With Mike: The Providence Of Love

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The Spider In My Mommy’s Car!

I Like Polka Dots On My Pizza!

Podcast Episode 002: Lorraine Spencer – “Interracial Blogging Pioneer”

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Step One

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Choose To Move Forward

In Case You Missed It

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