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How Do You Mend A Broken Heart?

April 16, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway Leave a Comment

We’ve all seen it: Pictures of a storybook wedding complete with a dreamy guy and girl whose story seems to come straight out of a fairy tale.

Even though in our little girl hearts many of us would love to be that girl in the photos, if we’re honest life experiences have taught our “big girl” hearts that sometimes the road to love is not characterized by a smoothly sailing ship – no, sometimes the road to love is filled with bumps and bruises – real ones.

Mrs. Jamaica Miller, wife of Brad Miller reached out to us on our Facebook page. She shared her storybook photos – and was also very honest and transparent in telling the not so pretty story that preceded it.

Jamaica and Brad Miller_Wedding photo

Over the next few posts we’ll share Jamaica’s story with you as she shared it with us.

Where do you live?

Fort Polk, Louisiana

How long you have been married?

Six amazing months!

What are the names and ages of your children and/or grandchildren?

We have the most beautiful little girl! Her name is Raionna. She’s 9, and she’s from a past relationship.

For my daughter, this is all she ever wanted and even for myself as a mother living the “single mom” life. My husband instantly took to her and asked me if he could adopt her. As a mother I couldn’t want anything more but for my daughter to have two parents who love her. I asked for her approval and said, “Do you want Brad to be your father?” She said, “YES!”

If you were to ask my husband today what he lives for, his reply would be to be an amazing father to provide all the things he never had, and the most admirable one of all, to serve his country. He’s the most dedicated soldier I know!!! We’re currently “ttc” (trying to conceive).

Jamaica and Brad Miller_daughter dance

How/where did you meet?

Are you ready? This is so funny. So by 2009 I had moved away from Kentucky, which is my childhood home. Now to Colorado Springs, CO – in this time frame my now husband had joined the army and arrived to his first duty station in Kentucky. We didn’t cross paths at all. This is just a little history so you can understand better.

I was previously married, and I was in an abusive marriage. I married a man when all the signs were pointing not too. You see, I grew up with the image “this is love.” Ugh! I’m all teary-eyed! Lol.

So, I’d arrived in Colorado with the drive, and the thought, “This (my previous marriage) will work. God is with me; He can change this man.”

Oh boy was I wrong! I was thinking, ‘New place; new people.’ Nope!  My ex-husband had women lined up to meet – I never saw a phone bill so long. Try not to cry as I continue, but I know my testimony will change lives.

So that first year my life was hell. Picture that little girl at the door begging her Daddy not to go. That was me – that wife begging her husband not to go, knowing he’s running to another woman – and with a push and a punch for me to stay put.

Long story short, after six months in he left me for another woman, with no food, no money, not knowing where to start. Calls from other women – their pregnant calls asking me who I was, as if I was the other woman and was not his wife; like I’m just his crazy baby mom, etc.

You can only imagine how many times the police were called, how many bruises I had hiding under my clothes.

I cried, I cried; I prayed and I cried. The more I cried, the more he left and the closer me and God got. I was on my knees praying, “Lord, I know, I know this isn’t what You have planned for me. That little girl in the other room – I need to get up for her.

I prayed, “Lord, what is Your purpose for me? I know it’s greater than my own understanding. Lord, please find me a church home so I can start on this walk with you.”

Fast forward two years. Same troubles; same tears. I sit on the porch and I see a woman crossing the street toward me. I said in my head, “Please don’t!” She approaches and says, “Hi! My name is Kenyatta. I make jewelry; you should come check it out.”

Me, though I’m a shy soul, I said yes. Her home was so welcoming! She continued to tell me about her wonderful church, which was Open Bible Baptist Church. From that day forward I attended church and car-pooled with her.

My husband only came home for clothes. Days went by with the sun coming up and I still hadn’t seen him. It seemed the closer to God I got, the further he was into the world.

A year later I gave my life to The Lord I was saved and baptized. I separated and filed for divorce after my husband’s last attack landed me in the hospital with a hand cast because I was fighting for dear life trying to get away.

I enrolled in school to become a pharmacy tech, left high and dry and started living on my own. I landed a job in a pharmacy through my church two months into school. My life began to blossom and I couldn’t be more happy. My birthday was February 15 birthday is here and 24 never felt so good.

Two days later I received a Facebook message – yes, FACEBOOK. Guess who it was?

————–

Stay tuned for Part II of “How Do You Mend A Broken Heart!”

Join In The Fray: Do you believe love comes in neat little packages? Why or why not?

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com. 

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved. Photos used with permission.

 

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Filed Under: BW/WM, OPEL, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: abuse, abusive, affairs, Black women, Black. White, Brad, cheating, daughter, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, interracial romance, Jamaica, love, Marriage, military, Miller, photos, pictures, storybook, unfaithful, wedding

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Welcome!

I’m Michelle Matthews-Calloway, and I’m A Swirl Girl! Greetings to you from The Swirl World. We encourage Black women to expand their relationship options by dating and marrying interracially. Our overarching mission is to see Black Women live their best life. Come Swirl with us in The Swirl World™, where we celebrate Black women and the diverse men who love us!™

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