Series Archives - Page 8 of 20

How Do You Mend A Broken Heart? The Love Story Of Brad And Jamaica Miller – The Conclusion

April 30, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 3 Comments

For the past two weeks we have shared Part 1 and Part 2 of the story of Jamaica and Brad Miller, a military couple currently stationed in Louisiana.

Jamaica poured out her heart and shared her story with us – the good, the bad and the ugly. Some of her story we deemed too intimate and too personal to share via this medium, yet we’re honored and humbled Jamaica trusted us with her story and felt comfortable enough to let us peek into her experiences.

Jamaica left no stone unturned and hopes her story serves as an inspiration to other women.

Jamaica’s story is one of blood, sweat and a bucket load of tears. In many ways Jamaica is – no, was – a classic representation of a woman who stays in an abusive, dead-end relationship for far too long – and to her own detriment.

Thankfully, Jamaica was able to file for divorce and not only make a new start, but find a true and lasting love. Sadly, many women who flee physical, mental and emotionally abusive relationships are not as fortunate: Almost 1-million domestic violence incidents are reported each year (and if this is the number of reported incidents, can you imagine what the number would be if all incidents were reported???) [Source]

On average, 3 women and 1 man are murdered by their partner each day.

Each. Day.

Ponder that fact as you read the concluding installment of Jamaica Miller’s story:

I filed for divorce again and moved out to my sister’s house. June came and I saw on Facebook that Brad would be returning to the states. I thought he would return to Kentucky and wondered how I would handle it, but he was sent to Louisiana.

I was happy for him and glad that he was back from his deployment safe and sound. I watched him on Facebook and noticed how women paid him compliments and obviously tried to get to know him. I had to admit that jealousy and other feelings were taking over me.

I prayed, Lord what is happening to me? I kept my distance but I knew in my heart this time I clearly wanted more.

The divorce was in process. I had signed my papers and was just waiting on my ex to sign his. Months passed by and still nothing. After much begging and pleading, he finally signed.

I didn’t immediately run to Brad. I talked to him from time to time but I kept my feelings hidden. Months passed and I heard nothing other than he was just enjoying his leave.

I continued to see pictures of him living, dating and enjoying life. Feeling unhappy, I finally expressed to him that I didn’t like it. He reminded me we were just friends. I thought, Oh ok, Jamaica – that’s all you wanted from day one, right? For him to be a friend?

I kept praying, and asked the Lord if Brad was the man for me. I prayed that if there was anything ungodly in him that God would remove it from him, if he was the man He had for me.

By this time me and Brad’s conversations had only been on Facebook. I wanted to hear his voice but wasn’t ready to express I wanted more.

So you know the info tab that’s on Facebook? Well, it had his phone number so I saved it to my phone. It took me two weeks to actually use it! LOL!

I took a deep breath and texted, “Hello friend it’s Jamaica. I’m so glad you made it back safe. Be good, don’t break hearts.”

He texted me back and said, “I wouldn’t if you’ll just be my girl already! Stop telling me no – there’s nothing stopping you now.”

I laughed and said, Ok. We conversed and sent messages and acknowledged we had feelings – and now that we’d said it, long distance was in our way now.

At the end of August I got a message from Brad saying, “I’m coming to see you. I can’t take it anymore.” I said, “You’re kidding, right?”

He said, “Nope!”

I was nervous, not knowing if he’d be the same man behind the messages and conversations. On August 31 he texted me and said, “I’m outside.”

I froze a good 10 minutes before making it to the door. I went outside to his truck and we hugged, our smiles big as ever. The first thing he said was, “Do you have a bag I can use for my shoes? I kinda just through them in my truck – I was just ready to get to you!”

I laughed and said sure. We headed to my sister’s house. All I remember is him holding my hand the whole ride telling me I’m beautiful. I felt like a princess.

I knew this was my sunshine after the storm!!!!

He could only stay four days and by October we knew we wanted our relationship to go further. He asked me to move to Louisiana. He continued to say there wasn’t much there, but that he’d make it worth it for his family.

On Jan 29th he asked me to marry him! I started planning a small wedding. On February 2 he got baptized. We got married on February 14!

We asked, What was your defining moment – that moment when you each knew you were in love?

Jamaica’s response: The defining moment I knew I was in love was our first kiss. It lasted forever with him just holding me tight!!

Brad’s response: My defining moment was making two back-to-back trips to see Jamaica. I would never travel to see a woman – but she was worth it!

How did you families and friends respond to the news of your relationship? How did you handle it?

I’ve attached a picture of a text message showing his Mom and Dad’s responses:

After we got married, Brad called his aunt. They all congratulated us.

When Brad came to town to see me that first time, we went to my sister’s house. My nieces and nephew ran to the door to meet him. My oldest sister just kept giving me that look and whispered, “He’s the one – keep him!” Lol! For my sister to say that, I knew I was on the right path.

Later my little sister came in town from Lexington. We sat up and chatted for a while. She said, “I can tell you like him. I know he’s the one so take your time and I can’t wait to be in your wedding!” LOL

My Mom and Dad gave their seal of approval and welcomed Brad to the family. They asked him if his parents were ok with him dating outside his race and he replied, “Yes – from the time I was born!” LOL

What do you like most about your mate?

Jamaica’s response: What I like most about my husband is his drive to go above and beyond for his family. Our daughter wanted to change the color of her dresser and put her new initial “M” on it – and he did just that.

Brad’s response: What I like most about my wife is that she loves me no matter the trail of clothes I leave from the shower to the closet after pt! At first she fussed but now I just leave a note saying, Sorry, Hun I had to rush back to work to bring home the bacon. I LOVE YOU !!!

What advice would you give to others who are interested in dating/marrying interracially?

Our advice would be, Go for it! Love comes in all shades. Don’t be afraid and don’t worry about the dirty looks you get. The only thing that matters is the love you have for each other and how happy you are.

Most important don’t try to change each other, but enjoy the things that make you different. For the first time ever, I rode a horse for my husband. I was scared out my mind at first but I had fun! LOL

For us, we know God doesn’t make mistakes. Make God the center In all you do!!!

So that’s us, the Millers. I hope our story touches others’ hearts, knowing that anything is possible!!!

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, call the National Domestic HOTLINE at 1-800-799-7233 | 1-800-787-3224 (TTY) or visit TheHotline.org.

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com.

How Do You Mend A Broken Heart? The Love Story Of Brad And Jamaica Miller – Part 2

April 23, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 4 Comments

Last week we gave you Part 1 of the story of Brad and Jamaica Miller, an interracial couple who shared their photos with The Swirl World Facebook page.

We enjoy sharing beautiful photos of couples, yet we’re always aware there is a story behind the photo – what were the circumstances bringing this couple get together? Where did they meet? How did they manage to fall in love?

One thing about life and love: Sometimes it doesn’t come wrapped in a pretty package, all neatly tied with a bow.

Sometimes life is convoluted and conflicting, yet somehow it all seems to work out in the end.

Try to remain judgment free.

Jamaica continues:

Who was on the line? My now-husband Brad trying get his Mack on!

He’d seen me at the mall and gotten my number from one of my friends. He proceeded to say, “Hey, didn’t I just see you at the mall?”

Not knowing who the man was, I replied, “No, I’m sure of it. There’s no way.”

He says, “Are you sure?”

When I said yes, he said, “You must have a twin as beautiful as you – she walked right past me in the mall!”

He sent me a friend request on Facebook and was honest about the fact that he was interested in me but my guard was up wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy high from all the hurt and pain I’d been through. I knew he was interested in more, but I told him that I was going through a divorce and could not move forward with anyone until and unless it was final.

Of course in the back of my head I wished I was completely free but I detached myself from Brad and told him we could never be anything more. Right after that, Brad was deployed to Korea.

During the midst of it all I prayed to God and asked, what is this??? Here’s this man who seems really nice and could be all a girl could ever want for a man and husband.

I said this can’t be your work because I’m still married and I know you forbid this behavior. I was seeing all of what Brad was and I prayed that my husband could be that type of man too.

So, even though I was confused as ever, I became even more determined to try to work things out with my husband.

Three months pass by, and then I looked up and a more than a year had passed. In that time my marriage hadn’t gotten any better and my husband was still just going from woman to woman. I was still one foot out the door seeing no nope.

Orders come up that my husband is getting stationed back in Kentucky. I was sad to leave my church home, friends and my sisters. I wanted to stay right there, which I could have done, but my heart I believed God was saying, “Go; just trust me.”

It was then early December 2012, and we were back on the road to Kentucky. We stopped off to visit family in South Carolina.

On December 25 I was in bed crying about how unhappy I was. All I wanted was for my husband to love me – this was the story of my life. It was Christmas and all he had done was leave me behind at the house – again.

Suddenly there was a loud knock at the door. Someone rushed in to tell us my husband had been in a car accident. My heart was racing with mixed feelings – Lord . . . ?

We get to the scene and it was a sight to see: I had been crying about my husband leaving me at home, but if he’d taken me with him, that would’ve been me in the passenger seat – lifeless.

His best friend died on impact. My husband, who was driving, had broken ribs and head trauma. His cousin, who was in the back seat on the right side, had his face cut open.

We were now stuck in South Carolina and traveling back and forth to Fort Jackson. I’m praying, Lord why??? What are you telling me??? All I could hear was “Just trust me.” I instantly thought, ‘Till death do us part,’ and soldiered on.

I nursed my husband back to health, listening to his many cries to the doctors of “Where’s my wife? I need her here!” He was in ICU and the times were limited when I could visit.

One trying month passed. I thought the accident was a sign to keep working at my marriage, but nope. As soon as the doctor cleared him to take it slow and get back to living, he left me at his Mom’s house and took a flight back to Colorado to be with another woman – three days before my 26th birthday.

The texts and lies continued until finally a video of him in the act confirmed it all. I said, “Lord you told me to trust in you, but this can’t be it right?

March came and I couldn’t wait to get home to family. My sisters could tell something was wrong. They know Kentucky isn’t home for me. Even so, I kept saying I was fine.

April came and my husband was seeing yet another woman. I called my sisters in Christ and let them know nothing had changed; they reminded me of the Lord’s vision of marriage. I got what was to be my last phone call from one of my husband’s women and told that woman, “You can have him.” I filed for divorce again, and this time I meant it.

Stay tuned for the final installment in Part 3.

Join In The Fray: Have you ever stayed too long in a dead-end relationship? What finally made you call it quits?

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com.

How Do You Mend A Broken Heart?

April 16, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway Leave a Comment

We’ve all seen it: Pictures of a storybook wedding complete with a dreamy guy and girl whose story seems to come straight out of a fairy tale.

Even though in our little girl hearts many of us would love to be that girl in the photos, if we’re honest life experiences have taught our “big girl” hearts that sometimes the road to love is not characterized by a smoothly sailing ship – no, sometimes the road to love is filled with bumps and bruises – real ones.

Mrs. Jamaica Miller, wife of Brad Miller reached out to us on our Facebook page. She shared her storybook photos – and was also very honest and transparent in telling the not so pretty story that preceded it.

Over the next few posts we’ll share Jamaica’s story with you as she shared it with us.

Where do you live?

Fort Polk, Louisiana

How long you have been married?

Six amazing months!

What are the names and ages of your children and/or grandchildren?

We have the most beautiful little girl! Her name is Raionna. She’s 9, and she’s from a past relationship.

For my daughter, this is all she ever wanted and even for myself as a mother living the “single mom” life. My husband instantly took to her and asked me if he could adopt her. As a mother I couldn’t want anything more but for my daughter to have two parents who love her. I asked for her approval and said, “Do you want Brad to be your father?” She said, “YES!”

If you were to ask my husband today what he lives for, his reply would be to be an amazing father to provide all the things he never had, and the most admirable one of all, to serve his country. He’s the most dedicated soldier I know!!! We’re currently “ttc” (trying to conceive).

How/where did you meet?

Are you ready? This is so funny. So by 2009 I had moved away from Kentucky, which is my childhood home. Now to Colorado Springs, CO – in this time frame my now husband had joined the army and arrived to his first duty station in Kentucky. We didn’t cross paths at all. This is just a little history so you can understand better.

I was previously married, and I was in an abusive marriage. I married a man when all the signs were pointing not too. You see, I grew up with the image “this is love.” Ugh! I’m all teary-eyed! Lol.

So, I’d arrived in Colorado with the drive, and the thought, “This (my previous marriage) will work. God is with me; He can change this man.”

Oh boy was I wrong! I was thinking, ‘New place; new people.’ Nope! My ex-husband had women lined up to meet – I never saw a phone bill so long. Try not to cry as I continue, but I know my testimony will change lives.

So that first year my life was hell. Picture that little girl at the door begging her Daddy not to go. That was me – that wife begging her husband not to go, knowing he’s running to another woman – and with a push and a punch for me to stay put.

Long story short, after six months in he left me for another woman, with no food, no money, not knowing where to start. Calls from other women – their pregnant calls asking me who I was, as if I was the other woman and was not his wife; like I’m just his crazy baby mom, etc.

You can only imagine how many times the police were called, how many bruises I had hiding under my clothes.

I cried, I cried; I prayed and I cried. The more I cried, the more he left and the closer me and God got. I was on my knees praying, “Lord, I know, I know this isn’t what You have planned for me. That little girl in the other room – I need to get up for her.

I prayed, “Lord, what is Your purpose for me? I know it’s greater than my own understanding. Lord, please find me a church home so I can start on this walk with you.”

Fast forward two years. Same troubles; same tears. I sit on the porch and I see a woman crossing the street toward me. I said in my head, “Please don’t!” She approaches and says, “Hi! My name is Kenyatta. I make jewelry; you should come check it out.”

Me, though I’m a shy soul, I said yes. Her home was so welcoming! She continued to tell me about her wonderful church, which was Open Bible Baptist Church. From that day forward I attended church and car-pooled with her.

My husband only came home for clothes. Days went by with the sun coming up and I still hadn’t seen him. It seemed the closer to God I got, the further he was into the world.

A year later I gave my life to The Lord I was saved and baptized. I separated and filed for divorce after my husband’s last attack landed me in the hospital with a hand cast because I was fighting for dear life trying to get away.

I enrolled in school to become a pharmacy tech, left high and dry and started living on my own. I landed a job in a pharmacy through my church two months into school. My life began to blossom and I couldn’t be more happy. My birthday was February 15 birthday is here and 24 never felt so good.

Two days later I received a Facebook message – yes, FACEBOOK. Guess who it was?

————–

Stay tuned for Part II of “How Do You Mend A Broken Heart!”

Join In The Fray: Do you believe love comes in neat little packages? Why or why not?

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Meet Our Youngest Swirlers (They Started Dating At 16!)

March 24, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 3 Comments

One of the things we love most about The Swirl World is the fact that our Swirlers come in all shapes, sizes, ethnicities – and ages.

Some people start Swirling later in life, others claim they’ve been Swirling from the cradle (well, almost).

Today in our continuing series on “Extraordinary People . . . Extraordinary Love” we’re excited to introduce you to the youngest Swirlers we’ve profiled.

Meet Erika Ragans and Jeanpaul Font-ayala!

Where do you live?

We live in our home town of Jacksonville, Florida. Florida is my birthplace while Jean’s is Puerto Rico. We both go to school but I’m part time because of my full-time job. Jean is a fulltime student.

How long you have been together?

Jean and I are both 20. We’ve been dating 4 years.

How/where did you meet?

Jeanpaul and I met in high school. He says he always had a crush on me but didn’t make a move until my boyfriend moved to Texas.

I love telling people about our first date because it was also the first time my Mother meet him. When she first saw Jean, she actually refused to let me go with him because he looked about 30 to her – we were both 15 at the time!

What was your defining moment – that moment when you each knew you were in love?

Erika: I knew I was in love with Jean when on vacation I wanted to go down to the pool for a quick swim. Jean agreed and we went, but after we got out of the water I realized Jean was covered in red bumps. Turns out his skin is really sensitive to changes in temperature so first the water, and then the cold air made him break out. He knew it would all along – he went swimming just because he knows I love to swim!

Jeanpaul: I fell in love when we were both standing in front of a mirror. I looked at her and thought, I want to be with her for a very long time.

How did you families and friends respond to the news of your relationship? How did you handle it?

Jean’s family had no real feeling about our relationship but later on when his mother saw how serious we were getting she got a little worried. My family wasn’t that shocked since I’ve never really dated someone my race.

What do you like most about your mate?

Jean: I love Erika’s personality and the fact that she’s willing to work through any of our problems.

Erika: The thing I love most about Jean is that he will always do his best to make me happy.

What advice would you give to others who are interested in dating/marrying interracially?

Our advice for people who want to date or marry someone who is a different race is this: forget skin color – just be with whoever makes you happy!

Erika and Jeanpaul – we’re happy you made that discovery at such a young age!

Swirl on.

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Swirling Single Of The Week: Traci Milam!

March 20, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 1 Comment

So yesterday we discussed the fact that having to “kiss a lot of frogs” seemed to be par for the course in the quest to find true love.

We said we believe that frogs don’t have to get in the way – The Swirl World is home to some pretty amazing people who simply need to meet each other.

We also put up a ton of DISCLAIMERS and gave you some good links to expert advice on vetting from Mrs. Eugenia Berg of “Married Girl In A Weird World.”

Now that we’ve gotten all the housekeeping done and all the disclaimers out-of-the-way, we’re happy to introduce our first Swirling Single Of The Week: Ms. Traci Milam!

Woot Woot!

Traci, tell us about yourself.

I am 35 years old, and I live in Memphis, TN. I currently teach History in my local public school system. I am open-minded; I love studying and learning about different cultures.

I am an honest, genuine woman. If I give you a smile and a compliment I truly mean it. I will appreciate the right guy for who he is. I want my feminine power to compliment his masculine power.

How do you approach relationships?

For me, doing little things are important; leaving notes for him just let him know that he’s in my thoughts. Speaking his “love language,” and willing to learn what makes him feel loved – making sure there is a balance of partnership to the relationship.

I am compassionate and a great listener. I think that this is a major part of maintaining a healthy relationship. I will support my partner, keeping the lines of communication open so that we can have those important conversations. I want to be able to read his moods, understand his concerns, and NOT make fun of his insecurities. Sometimes showing empathy is all that’s needed.

I want to disagree in a respectful manner and remember that differences of opinions don’t have to crush the relationship.

I love to laugh am constantly finding the humor in life. Laughter is at times the best medicine for what ails you.

Tell us about your family.

I am close to my family. We see one another at least once a week. We have a lot of fun together sharing…laughter can often be heard throughout my parent’s house when everyone visits.

I love going out with my two older sisters or just spending time sitting around shooting the breeze. My nieces and nephews are a joy to spend time with. I regularly attend their sports events, spelling bees, etc.

My parents are a true blessing in all of our lives. They are also hilarious. I often, tell my friends that my family should have their own reality show LOL! 😉

What do you like to do for fun?

I love traveling, visiting museums, going to live concerts and shopping. I’m a real FASHIONISTA! 😉

I also love to dance – I was a competitive pom-pom dancer in high school. I danced for my college team and for an NFL team.

What are your tastes in television and music?

One of my favorite TV channels is the History Channel. I’m historian after all! I also love Modern Family and Big Bang Theory.

Musicians that I like: Prince, Lauryn Hill, Beyoncé, Gwen Stefani, Lady GaGa, Maroon 5, Stevie Wonder, Marvin Gaye, Erykah Badu, Kelis, Pink, Outkast and The Roots.

Would you like to have children?

Children: I would like maybe to have one child.

Are you willing to relocate?

If the right person comes along I would, of course, discuss relocation as an option.

So Traci, what are you looking for in a mate?

Someone who is genuine: A man who is honest with his partner and willingly shares how his day went and asks about mine in return. A man who gives a woman a genuine compliment to her face rather than wolf whistling. One who says “Please” and “Thank you,” and means it.

A man who is just kind to others and not just for his own self-interest.

A man who is Good-Hearted: Kind and generous; romantic and family oriented.

Getting to know her parents and actually taking the time to earn their trust and approval. (Some people think that asking them for permission before proposing is outdated, but I still believe in it.)

Someone who won’t mind sending a little message to make sure I got home alright, and actually mean it, or bring flowers, just because – no need to wait for a special occasion.

Possesses emotional Intelligence and is very supportive – He leaves the lines of communication open so that we can have meaningful conversations. He tries to understand my concerns, and does NOT make fun of my insecurities.

A man who argues in a respectful manner and remembers that differences of opinions don’t have to crush the relationship.

Intelligent and supportive: Knowledgeable of general world events and able to converse in a socially acceptable manner. College educated would be great but I also absolutely love a man in uniform – military man, police officer, firefighter, etc. 😉

And, of course, I am willing to support his dreams as long as the risk is viable. We will be a team, partners – us against the world! 😉

So there you have it! If Traci seems like a lady you’d love to meet, send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com.

How To Meet Your Prince/Princess Without Kissing A Lot Of Frogs

March 19, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway Leave a Comment

We’ve all heard the saying: “You have to kiss a lot of frogs in order to find your Prince/Princess.”

While that saying may hold true for some and may even be the story of your life to this point, we in The Swirl World want you to take heart and ponder these questions:

What if finding true love didn’t have to be so hard?? What if there really ARE some good men and women out there who would make wonderful mate – and how in the world can I meet him/her?

Our Facebook page is On Fire with lots of great single men and women who have heard the same tired proverb, and are asking themselves the very same questions.

They’re attractive, smart, well-adjusted and possess many good character traits.

They’re not loony and they’re not cray-cray.

Stalking? They’re not about that life.

They’re also not lazy, trifling, good-for-nothing or looking for a free ride.

Their intent is to “do no harm” and give 100% to a relationship.

They want to do someone good, and not evil, all the days of his/her life.

They want to be in a relationship for the long haul.

If you’re interested in a booty call, cat-fishing or a fly-by-night relationship, YOU’VE GOT THE WRONG ONE, BABY.

They simply want a chance to love – and be loved.

If this sounds like you, then The Swirl World is where you need to be.

Starting tomorrow, we’re going to present some Swirling “Princes and Princesses” who may just be the person who qualifies as “Your Last First Kiss.”

***************************DISCLAIMER*****************************

If we profile someone you take a fancy to and you connect with them, will you still have to vet him/her??

OF. COURSE. YOU. WILL!

(And just in case you didn’t know it, OF. COURSE. YOU. WILL!)

This is Adrienne and Me – giving you major side eye.

Yes, YOU will still have to get to know a person, Yes, YOU will still have to vet, vet, vet – and VET AGAIN.

Presenting people is on us – VETTING IS ON YOU.

This bears repeating:

Yes, YOU will still have to get to know a person, Yes, YOU will still have to vet, vet, vet – and VET AGAIN.

Presenting people is on us – VETTING IS ON YOU.

And just in case you need a crash course on vetting, we very happily refer you to the Queen of Vetting herself, Mrs. Eugenia Berg, a.k.a. “Married Girl In A Weird World.”

(We’re happy to report that Mrs. Berg and her loving hubby are now expecting TWINS! Woot Woot!)

Mrs. Berg was kind enough to supply free coaching information on vetting on her blog.

Whether you believe you know how to properly vet or not, If you have any brains at all, you will thank the good Lord for Eugenia’s free advice and give a listen here, here and here.

So now, on the subject of vetting: Have we made ourselves perfectly clear?

Ok; by the look on your face, we have made ourselves PERFECTLY clear.

If we have, stay tuned. Our first “Swirling Single” will be presented tomorrow!

Till then, Swirl On.

Join in the Fray: Are you a Prince/Princess – or a Frog?

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Mondays With Mike: Why I Celebrate Black Women In Poetry (Part 2)

March 17, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 2 Comments

So last week on Mondays With Mike, our favorite Aussie shared a beautiful poem penned to (and for) his muse, @MissLJay20.

Today, Mike gives us the details on why he celebrates Black Women in poetry (and is inspired by his Muse):

Why I Celebrate Black Women In Poetry

All artists need a Muse, a source of inspiration, something which sets their spirits aflame, ignites their senses. Something to make them feel that if they don’t attempt to honour that beauty and majesty their soul will burst from trying to keep it all in.

It may seem strange but it’s just the way my Muse works. I don’t think I am alone in feeling like this. I think it’s the soul of all creativity.

Why Black Women In Particular?

So what is it that makes me filled with inspiration to write poetry for Black Women? Why Black Women in particular? Because my Muse moves when I see Black Women, when I hear them, when I appreciate them on all levels, I am always entranced.

I have to celebrate Black Women; my Muse guides my hands in doing so, and I love being able to communicate what I feel in what I write. If I wish to write and write well, I need my source of inspiration, and my Muse requires her due, which I am more than willing to give.

Luckily this has been easy of late. My Muse is beautiful, gives me so much inspiration to write, so much passion and energy that sometimes I don’t know if I will ever be able to pay it back in kind. I try my best and I am forever grateful for the gifts bestowed.

And Now, My Heart Is Open

I once thought that I should guard myself closely, be closed off and wary, worried of possible heartaches and troubles, but I am now looking more and more towards being open-hearted and looking for the possible in all things, to be thankful in finding it, and rejoicing in the happiness of it.

I won’t question why I should be so lucky so I don’t spoil it, but instead be gracious, thankful and appreciative in having received it, and trying my best to honour the gift I have been given.

And that is what has inspired my latest poem, and I hope it conveys that as best as can be said.

Cheers!

We have to say, @MissLJay20 is a beautiful Black Woman – and Mike is blessed to have her as his Muse!

Join in the Fray: Who or what inspires YOU?

Got a question for Mike? Send it to us via inbox on The Swirl World’s Facebook page or by email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Follow Mike on Twitter @500and50 read his blog at 500and50.com, or message him on his 500and50 Facebook page.

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

How Do You Define The Reality Of Love?

December 4, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 1 Comment

If you were asked to describe “The Reality Of Love,” what would be your response?

This week’s couple, Valentai and Justin Cook reflect the reality of love – but not for the reason you might expect.

I’m especially excited about this installment of “Ordinary People – Extraordinary Love” for several reasons.

First, Valentai and Justin Cook are a military family (Justin is a Marine). Valentai is Black and Justin is Irish-German.

Needless to say, we at The Swirl World love and appreciate our men and women in uniform. Not only that, as a former Army brat I know what military life is like and I’m acutely aware of the sacrifices required of every member of the family. Kudos to all who serve their country!

Second, Justin and Valentai are together because her brother (1) loved her, (2) wanted to see her happy and (3) was open-minded enough to realize that love comes in more than one color.

That’s right: Valentai’s brother brought them together.

The Cook’s Sweet Story

Valentai says:

“We live on Camp Pendleton in California. We’ve been together for 2 1/2 years. We have two children, both boys. Their ages are 7-years old (Albert) and 2-months old (Dylan).

We met through my brother who is also in the Marines.

I knew I was in love with Justin when I saw how wonderful he was with my son. I knew he’d make an amazing husband and father.

What I like most about him is his kindness and determination to always make the best out of whatever life throws us.”

Valentai’s Advice

“My advice I would give to anyone in or seeking an interracial relationship would be to know what you want 100% and don’t let anyone tell you they you don’t deserve happiness. People will always be judgmental, but as long as you and that special someone are happy, then nothing can break that love. “

The Reality Of Love

When someone – be it family member, friend, neighbor, coworker, whomever – genuinely loves you, he or she will want the best for you.

They won’t begrudge your happiness – and they won’t try to dictate it, either.

Valentai’s brother recognized that Justin, his fellow Marine was a quality man.

So much so, he introduced him to his sister.

There was no haterade flowing or blocking going on – just a loving brother who wanted to see his sister happy.

The reality of love is that it always seeks the good of its object – no matter what.

Does this depiction of love reflect your reality? If not, what are you going to do about it?

NOTE: Valentai informed me that Justin just left for deployment, so let’s be sure to send lots of prayers and love to the Cook family. We look forward to hearing more from this couple and wish them and their sons all the best.

2-month old Dylan Cook

Join in the Fray: How’s your “love” life?

Jeff Goins’ “Slow Down” Challenge – Day 5 (Final Day)

August 19, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 1 Comment

Image courtesy of Stuart Miles – Free Digital Photos

Friday was the last day of Jeff Goins’ “Slow Down” Challenge. I finished the challenge as scheduled, but after a weekend of dinners out and attending the Delcambre Shrimp Festival (more details on that later this week) I’m just getting around to posting the final installment.

This was Friday’s Challenge:

Challenge: Say “thanks” (for everything)

Today, try saying “thank you” for everything.

Say it to your spouse who makes you wait for dinner. Say it to the cashier who moves too slow. Say it to your late lunch appointment or the call center operator who keeps putting you on hold. Say it to God for every inconvenience that causes you to grow.

Say “thank you.” Don’t just think it or tell it to yourself. Actually speak the words — and mean them.

Be grateful for the moments that slow you down, the ones that cause you to take your time. Use these opportunities to appreciate what you already have and tend to miss. As you do, see how much better life looks, and actually is, when you approach it with gratitude.

I’m happy to say this Challenge was particularly easy for me because I long ago began cultivating the habit of saying “Thank you” for just about everything. I do it so often it has become second nature – and I sometimes even feel self-conscious for saying it because some people seem so surprised when they hear those words.

I do my best to maintain “an attitude of gratitude,” although I’ll be the first to admit it isn’t always easy. Nevertheless, I make a conscious effort to push back feelings of self-pity because I don’t want to be that person:

The “Debbie Downer” who always sees the glass half empty – and tries to make everyone else see it that way, too
The person you hate to ask “How are you doing” because they’ll probably tell you – and it won’t be anything good
The Perpetual Complainer who never seems to be satisfied
The Total Ingrate

One has to simply flip on the news or check a Twitter or Facebook feed to realize things could always be worse. There are a million-and-one places we could be (dodging bullets and explosions resulting from civil unrest; on the starving end of a famine, in a country where clean – much less running – water is rare, just to name a few).

For the myriad of things that could be wrong with my life, so much of it is right. For all the things that could be better, so much of it is good.

For this, I am grateful.

And I’m happy to say, “Thank you.”

Join in the Fray: What are you grateful for? To whom do you need to say, “Thank you?”

I participated in and blogged about Jeff Goins’ “Slow Down” Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Jeff Goins’ “Slow Down” Challenge – Day 4

August 15, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 7 Comments

Ah, interruptions.

Those pesky little things that happen to probably everyone – and of course they happen whether you want them to or not.

Today Jeff talked about interruptions, and asked us to look at them from a different perspective:

Instead of calling interruptions “pesky” (the way I just did!) look at them as opportunities for growth.

This was today’s challenge:

Challenge: Let go

When we try to control everything, when we plan every last minute of the day, we get mad when life throws a wrench into the plans. When the hotwater heater breaks. When your kid gets the flu. When your boss has an unexpected “favor” to ask.

But what if we expected these interruptions? What if we counted on them and decided ahead of time who we were going to be in these instances?

Here’s your challenge:

Decide ahead of time what you will do WHEN you get interrupted today. You don’t have to let everyone steal your time, but choose your response before it happens.
Block out some time to spend with a person who usually interrupts you. Call her just to chat; if this person is local, ask her to lunch.
When an interruption occurs, welcome it. Look for what you can learn from the experience, and don’t get annoyed. Instead, embrace this as a chance to grow.

I decided ahead of time that I was going to smile and try to be as pleasant as I could whenever an interruption came.

A by-product of that decision was being secretly amused by the knowledge that I was, in fact, welcoming interruptions and not viewing them as “pesky.”

It worked great! I had more conversations today, and I believe I laughed even more than I normally do.

“Pesky” is good!

Join in the Fray: How do you handle interruptions?

I’m blogging every day this week in Jeff Goins’ “Slow Down” Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

« Previous Page

How Do You Mend A Broken Heart? The Love Story Of Brad And Jamaica Miller – The Conclusion

Like this:

How Do You Mend A Broken Heart? The Love Story Of Brad And Jamaica Miller – Part 2

Like this:

How Do You Mend A Broken Heart?

Like this:

Meet Our Youngest Swirlers (They Started Dating At 16!)

Like this:

Swirling Single Of The Week: Traci Milam!

Like this:

How To Meet Your Prince/Princess Without Kissing A Lot Of Frogs

Like this:

Mondays With Mike: Why I Celebrate Black Women In Poetry (Part 2)

Like this:

How Do You Define The Reality Of Love?

Like this:

Jeff Goins’ “Slow Down” Challenge – Day 5 (Final Day)

Like this:

Jeff Goins’ “Slow Down” Challenge – Day 4

Challenge: Let go

Like this:

Be Sociable! Share this:

Like this:

Be Sociable! Share this:

Like this:

Be Sociable! Share this:

Like this:

Be Sociable! Share this:

Like this:

Be Sociable! Share this:

Like this:

Be Sociable! Share this:

Like this:

Be Sociable! Share this:

Like this:

Be Sociable! Share this:

Like this:

Be Sociable! Share this:

Like this:

Challenge: Let go

Be Sociable! Share this:

Like this:

Are You In?

Thank you!