swirling Archives - Page 14 of 26

How To Change Your Life – And End Up On a National Television Show!

May 20, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 3 Comments

Good grief! We’ve been on pins and needles – sitting on this news for about a month now and biting our nails in anticipation of sharing it:

Guess what???

Our man Mike In Australia (Michael Miocevich) was on a national television show – talking about SWIRLING!!!

*Jumping up and down*

We were certainly excited that Mike – OUR Mike – received this national coverage and attention.

Seems the producer planned to do a show on Swirling In Australia (later entitled “Dating Race”). She conducted some online searches to find men in Australia who preferred Black women.

Well, we’ve been doing “Monday’s With Mike” for some months now, so guess who she found???

Yeppers!

Out of ALL the men in Australia, she found OUR Mike.

OUR. Mike!

Woot Woot!

One of the things we strive to do in The Swirl World is build relationships. We practice good blogging netiquette and we believe in crediting our sources, both here and on our Facebook page.

We don’t bash –preferring instead to uplift and support.

Particularly special to us is the fact that in some small way, we are making a difference and changing lives – one person at a time.

But enough of the self-congratulations. We’ll let Mike tell you about his experience.

This excerpt is Part 1 – we have more to come!

Mike says:

“So, about a month ago I get a message from Elise Potaka, producer for SBS TV Australia (one of two public national broadcasters, which is bigger than you might think here in Oz), to talk to her about interracial dating, my history of it, ideas and opinions, etc.

Not a problem, I thought; I am more than happy to help anyone who is interested.

Turns out they were looking to do a TV show about it, and got all kinds of information from me about the Swirling community and my life as a Swirler.

Then came the hard question: They wanted to fly me out to the show to be in the audience!

Now this is the part that shocked me. I’ve never been given any kind of opportunity like this before.

To be flown across the country and put up at a hotel and then be on a national TV show?

Unimaginable. So I was nervous. And very hesitant.

You see, for a lot of my life I’ve felt like an outsider – to friends, family, people I meet.

I often don’t feel comfortable around them. I was very much worried about how I might come across for the show.

But then I had to follow the logic of the situation.

I had been invited on because I have been making steps towards a better life. I had taken the chance when I first contacted The Swirl World via Facebook.

I’d done so again when they got me to do a bit of a write-up about myself. Then again when they had me do “Monday’s with Mike,” and again when encouraging me to start my own writing blog.

After that much love and encouragement, I couldn’t let them down.

I couldn’t let myself down.

So I took the chance. And I am so thankful I did! I now feel more comfortable about who I am in my life than I ever have. I stood up for who I am and what I believe – and I felt stronger for it.

I have a lot of big plans I want to make happen, and a lot of changes I want to make in my life before I get to where I want to be, Taking this step has brought a lot of that closer.

So if I have one piece of advice to offer it’s this – If you see an opportunity and you’re hesitant because you worry what others might think or say, don’t be.

Take the leap of faith and go for it, because the rewards in confidence and self-esteem will likely outweigh any physical things you get from it.

Each step you take in the right direction will open new doors and new opportunities. Trust in yourself and step through them. When you look back, you’ll be amazed at the difference it has made!

Cheers,

Mike

To watch the show (and gain an interesting perspective on interracial dating in Australia – plus some delicious accents) – click here.

Mike networked with some of the people on the show and we hope to have some future posts featuring the other guests.

Whew! We can’t wait to see what happens with Mike’s continuing metamorphosis.

Stay tuned for more!

Got a question for Michael Miocevich? Send it to us via inbox on The Swirl World’s Facebook page or by email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Follow Mike on Twitter @500and50 and read his blog at 500and50.com, or message him on his 500and50 Facebook page.

What KKK Can Teach Us About Love

May 5, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 2 Comments

No, we’re not talking about that KKK – we’re talking about Kyler and Katia Kline!

Kylar and Katia hiking on Cheyenne Mountain in Colorado

Despite the naysayers and despite the ugliness and ignorance surrounding a recent highly publicized, highly dysfunctional interracial “relationship” that has dominated the news, interracial relationships – devoid of the cray-cray – are thriving.

Black women are living well and more and more of them are enjoying their lives, thumbing their collective noses at the nonsense and the madness and demonstrating to the world what real love is all about.

These Black women are dating, marrying and building families. Many are married to men we call “warriors” – our military men who are on the front lines protecting our freedoms.

(And many of them are “warriors” themselves!)

This week we take a refreshing break from the dysfunction and the madness and bring you a wonderful couple who, despite the deployments that are the norm of military life, are happy and whole – loving each other and living life to the fullest.

Ladies and Gentlemen, meet Kyler and Katia Kline.

In most instances the wife fills out our interview questionnaire. But in the case of Kyler and Katia, Kyler wanted to be the one to share their very special story – and in so doing proclaim his love of Katia to the world!

Enjoy their beautiful pictures – and enjoy their love!

Where do you live?

We live in Clarksville, Tennessee, in the greatest nation in the world.

How long you have been together?

We have been together for four years, three of which we have been happily married.

What are the names and ages of your children and/or grandchildren?

We currently do not have any children, but have already picked out some names for when the time comes.

How/where did you meet?
We first meet in the 10th grade and became friends and stayed friends throughout the years.

She shared an apartment with a good friend of mine and while home on leave we started talking and spending time together, and with my irresistible charm and good looks we decided to keep talking long distance.

After 6 months we decided to make it serious, and 6 months after that she sacrificed her current life to marry and eventually come live with me in Colorado – something I will forever be grateful for.

What was your defining moment – that moment when you each knew you were in love?

We were at her apartment watching a movie together and we started holding hands. It was at this time I finally knew I was falling in love with her.

Then, when I was deployed to Afghanistan she sang, “You Are My Sunshine” to me. It was at this time I KNEW I loved her.

Our coming home kiss when my unit arrived home from Afghanistan – our first kiss in a year!

How did you families and friends respond to the news of your relationship?

My sisters were worried for their little brother as always and provided me with advice, yet they loved Katia and were happy and supportive of us.

My father was supportive of our relationship, but on hearing news that we wanted to get married expressed strongly that we at the age of 21 were too young to get married. He was extremely upset after hearing that we did get married but later approved of it after hearing words of wisdom from my Step-Mom. He then even offered Katia a room at his house while I was deployed.

My biological mom was of a different side and became slightly prejudiced. She did not expect to have her son dating a beautiful young Black lady; furthermore upon hearing of our engagement she expressed she wanted white grandkids. This was deeply upsetting to us.

But after getting to know Katia she began to love her and they are now close loving friends as mother and daughter in law, and even call each other regularly. My Mom also can’t wait for the cutest mixed babies the world will have ever seen!

Katia and I before we got married. She is holding my niece Elizabeth.

The majority of our friends were very happy and supportive, but some of my male friends had the suspicion that she may be a “Tag Chaser,” which is a person who wants to date a soldier for the benefits or nostalgia of it. Most people don’t realize how poorly soldiers get paid till they marry one. But after meeting her they realized she was a benevolent young lady who loved me for me, and were then supportive.

The Army’s birthday ball at Fort Carson

How did you handle it?

I followed my heart, and could not be happier that I did.

This is my favorite picture of Katia, which I kept on me at all times while deployed in Afghanistan

What do you like most about your mate?

Everything not to sound corny, but I love how kind and loving she is, her smile, how she can sometimes be a handful, that she’s out going and fun, her body. And most of all that she chose to spend the rest of her life loving me.

This photo was our honeymoon night. Unfortunately we couldn’t go on a real vacation because I was only home for two weeks and had to go back to Afghanistan.

What advice would you give to others who are interested in dating/marrying interracially?

I don’t see races, I only see many Americans of different cultures all of which I love. Unfortunately not everyone in America feels this way, so be ready for constant glares and judgment from others in public. This more so happens to my wife when I’m with her we only get glares and looks, most likely because of my size I tend to be intimidating.

She has even been attacked on face book before, being called many names. But we still publicly display how proud we are to be together and to be in love with one another.

Our first baseball game together at the Denver Colorado Rockies stadium. We found that baseball was to boring for us.

Anything else you believe is pertinent or just want to add?

We love your page and what it stands for!

THIS, Ladies and Gentleman, is what love is supposed to be like: Pure, proud and real. Thanks to Kyler for the service he provides to our country and thanks to Katia for being the wind beneath his wings!

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com.

How Do You Mend A Broken Heart? The Love Story Of Brad And Jamaica Miller – The Conclusion

April 30, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 3 Comments

For the past two weeks we have shared Part 1 and Part 2 of the story of Jamaica and Brad Miller, a military couple currently stationed in Louisiana.

Jamaica poured out her heart and shared her story with us – the good, the bad and the ugly. Some of her story we deemed too intimate and too personal to share via this medium, yet we’re honored and humbled Jamaica trusted us with her story and felt comfortable enough to let us peek into her experiences.

Jamaica left no stone unturned and hopes her story serves as an inspiration to other women.

Jamaica’s story is one of blood, sweat and a bucket load of tears. In many ways Jamaica is – no, was – a classic representation of a woman who stays in an abusive, dead-end relationship for far too long – and to her own detriment.

Thankfully, Jamaica was able to file for divorce and not only make a new start, but find a true and lasting love. Sadly, many women who flee physical, mental and emotionally abusive relationships are not as fortunate: Almost 1-million domestic violence incidents are reported each year (and if this is the number of reported incidents, can you imagine what the number would be if all incidents were reported???) [Source]

On average, 3 women and 1 man are murdered by their partner each day.

Each. Day.

Ponder that fact as you read the concluding installment of Jamaica Miller’s story:

I filed for divorce again and moved out to my sister’s house. June came and I saw on Facebook that Brad would be returning to the states. I thought he would return to Kentucky and wondered how I would handle it, but he was sent to Louisiana.

I was happy for him and glad that he was back from his deployment safe and sound. I watched him on Facebook and noticed how women paid him compliments and obviously tried to get to know him. I had to admit that jealousy and other feelings were taking over me.

I prayed, Lord what is happening to me? I kept my distance but I knew in my heart this time I clearly wanted more.

The divorce was in process. I had signed my papers and was just waiting on my ex to sign his. Months passed by and still nothing. After much begging and pleading, he finally signed.

I didn’t immediately run to Brad. I talked to him from time to time but I kept my feelings hidden. Months passed and I heard nothing other than he was just enjoying his leave.

I continued to see pictures of him living, dating and enjoying life. Feeling unhappy, I finally expressed to him that I didn’t like it. He reminded me we were just friends. I thought, Oh ok, Jamaica – that’s all you wanted from day one, right? For him to be a friend?

I kept praying, and asked the Lord if Brad was the man for me. I prayed that if there was anything ungodly in him that God would remove it from him, if he was the man He had for me.

By this time me and Brad’s conversations had only been on Facebook. I wanted to hear his voice but wasn’t ready to express I wanted more.

So you know the info tab that’s on Facebook? Well, it had his phone number so I saved it to my phone. It took me two weeks to actually use it! LOL!

I took a deep breath and texted, “Hello friend it’s Jamaica. I’m so glad you made it back safe. Be good, don’t break hearts.”

He texted me back and said, “I wouldn’t if you’ll just be my girl already! Stop telling me no – there’s nothing stopping you now.”

I laughed and said, Ok. We conversed and sent messages and acknowledged we had feelings – and now that we’d said it, long distance was in our way now.

At the end of August I got a message from Brad saying, “I’m coming to see you. I can’t take it anymore.” I said, “You’re kidding, right?”

He said, “Nope!”

I was nervous, not knowing if he’d be the same man behind the messages and conversations. On August 31 he texted me and said, “I’m outside.”

I froze a good 10 minutes before making it to the door. I went outside to his truck and we hugged, our smiles big as ever. The first thing he said was, “Do you have a bag I can use for my shoes? I kinda just through them in my truck – I was just ready to get to you!”

I laughed and said sure. We headed to my sister’s house. All I remember is him holding my hand the whole ride telling me I’m beautiful. I felt like a princess.

I knew this was my sunshine after the storm!!!!

He could only stay four days and by October we knew we wanted our relationship to go further. He asked me to move to Louisiana. He continued to say there wasn’t much there, but that he’d make it worth it for his family.

On Jan 29th he asked me to marry him! I started planning a small wedding. On February 2 he got baptized. We got married on February 14!

We asked, What was your defining moment – that moment when you each knew you were in love?

Jamaica’s response: The defining moment I knew I was in love was our first kiss. It lasted forever with him just holding me tight!!

Brad’s response: My defining moment was making two back-to-back trips to see Jamaica. I would never travel to see a woman – but she was worth it!

How did you families and friends respond to the news of your relationship? How did you handle it?

I’ve attached a picture of a text message showing his Mom and Dad’s responses:

After we got married, Brad called his aunt. They all congratulated us.

When Brad came to town to see me that first time, we went to my sister’s house. My nieces and nephew ran to the door to meet him. My oldest sister just kept giving me that look and whispered, “He’s the one – keep him!” Lol! For my sister to say that, I knew I was on the right path.

Later my little sister came in town from Lexington. We sat up and chatted for a while. She said, “I can tell you like him. I know he’s the one so take your time and I can’t wait to be in your wedding!” LOL

My Mom and Dad gave their seal of approval and welcomed Brad to the family. They asked him if his parents were ok with him dating outside his race and he replied, “Yes – from the time I was born!” LOL

What do you like most about your mate?

Jamaica’s response: What I like most about my husband is his drive to go above and beyond for his family. Our daughter wanted to change the color of her dresser and put her new initial “M” on it – and he did just that.

Brad’s response: What I like most about my wife is that she loves me no matter the trail of clothes I leave from the shower to the closet after pt! At first she fussed but now I just leave a note saying, Sorry, Hun I had to rush back to work to bring home the bacon. I LOVE YOU !!!

What advice would you give to others who are interested in dating/marrying interracially?

Our advice would be, Go for it! Love comes in all shades. Don’t be afraid and don’t worry about the dirty looks you get. The only thing that matters is the love you have for each other and how happy you are.

Most important don’t try to change each other, but enjoy the things that make you different. For the first time ever, I rode a horse for my husband. I was scared out my mind at first but I had fun! LOL

For us, we know God doesn’t make mistakes. Make God the center In all you do!!!

So that’s us, the Millers. I hope our story touches others’ hearts, knowing that anything is possible!!!

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, call the National Domestic HOTLINE at 1-800-799-7233 | 1-800-787-3224 (TTY) or visit TheHotline.org.

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com.

How Do You Mend A Broken Heart? The Love Story Of Brad And Jamaica Miller – Part 2

April 23, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 4 Comments

Last week we gave you Part 1 of the story of Brad and Jamaica Miller, an interracial couple who shared their photos with The Swirl World Facebook page.

We enjoy sharing beautiful photos of couples, yet we’re always aware there is a story behind the photo – what were the circumstances bringing this couple get together? Where did they meet? How did they manage to fall in love?

One thing about life and love: Sometimes it doesn’t come wrapped in a pretty package, all neatly tied with a bow.

Sometimes life is convoluted and conflicting, yet somehow it all seems to work out in the end.

Try to remain judgment free.

Jamaica continues:

Who was on the line? My now-husband Brad trying get his Mack on!

He’d seen me at the mall and gotten my number from one of my friends. He proceeded to say, “Hey, didn’t I just see you at the mall?”

Not knowing who the man was, I replied, “No, I’m sure of it. There’s no way.”

He says, “Are you sure?”

When I said yes, he said, “You must have a twin as beautiful as you – she walked right past me in the mall!”

He sent me a friend request on Facebook and was honest about the fact that he was interested in me but my guard was up wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy high from all the hurt and pain I’d been through. I knew he was interested in more, but I told him that I was going through a divorce and could not move forward with anyone until and unless it was final.

Of course in the back of my head I wished I was completely free but I detached myself from Brad and told him we could never be anything more. Right after that, Brad was deployed to Korea.

During the midst of it all I prayed to God and asked, what is this??? Here’s this man who seems really nice and could be all a girl could ever want for a man and husband.

I said this can’t be your work because I’m still married and I know you forbid this behavior. I was seeing all of what Brad was and I prayed that my husband could be that type of man too.

So, even though I was confused as ever, I became even more determined to try to work things out with my husband.

Three months pass by, and then I looked up and a more than a year had passed. In that time my marriage hadn’t gotten any better and my husband was still just going from woman to woman. I was still one foot out the door seeing no nope.

Orders come up that my husband is getting stationed back in Kentucky. I was sad to leave my church home, friends and my sisters. I wanted to stay right there, which I could have done, but my heart I believed God was saying, “Go; just trust me.”

It was then early December 2012, and we were back on the road to Kentucky. We stopped off to visit family in South Carolina.

On December 25 I was in bed crying about how unhappy I was. All I wanted was for my husband to love me – this was the story of my life. It was Christmas and all he had done was leave me behind at the house – again.

Suddenly there was a loud knock at the door. Someone rushed in to tell us my husband had been in a car accident. My heart was racing with mixed feelings – Lord . . . ?

We get to the scene and it was a sight to see: I had been crying about my husband leaving me at home, but if he’d taken me with him, that would’ve been me in the passenger seat – lifeless.

His best friend died on impact. My husband, who was driving, had broken ribs and head trauma. His cousin, who was in the back seat on the right side, had his face cut open.

We were now stuck in South Carolina and traveling back and forth to Fort Jackson. I’m praying, Lord why??? What are you telling me??? All I could hear was “Just trust me.” I instantly thought, ‘Till death do us part,’ and soldiered on.

I nursed my husband back to health, listening to his many cries to the doctors of “Where’s my wife? I need her here!” He was in ICU and the times were limited when I could visit.

One trying month passed. I thought the accident was a sign to keep working at my marriage, but nope. As soon as the doctor cleared him to take it slow and get back to living, he left me at his Mom’s house and took a flight back to Colorado to be with another woman – three days before my 26th birthday.

The texts and lies continued until finally a video of him in the act confirmed it all. I said, “Lord you told me to trust in you, but this can’t be it right?

March came and I couldn’t wait to get home to family. My sisters could tell something was wrong. They know Kentucky isn’t home for me. Even so, I kept saying I was fine.

April came and my husband was seeing yet another woman. I called my sisters in Christ and let them know nothing had changed; they reminded me of the Lord’s vision of marriage. I got what was to be my last phone call from one of my husband’s women and told that woman, “You can have him.” I filed for divorce again, and this time I meant it.

Stay tuned for the final installment in Part 3.

Join In The Fray: Have you ever stayed too long in a dead-end relationship? What finally made you call it quits?

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com.

How To Say Hi To A Guy And Wind Up Married to Him For 20 Years

April 7, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 3 Comments

We’ve run a post or two on women who made “the first move” and wound up with the man of their dreams.

And yes, we know a big debate exists on whether women should be first to make a move.

Our position on the subject? Suffice it to say that we believe there’s a HUGE difference between being “Thirsty” and being “Friendly” – and a smart woman (and man) is able to tell the difference.

With that out-of-the-way, meet another couple who exemplifies our theme of Ordinary People . . . Extraordinary Love:

Niecy and Jeff Aldrich!

Niecy and Jeff Aldrich’s wedding photo

Niecy shared this beautiful photo below of her and Jeff on our Facebook page and it generated tons of comments and likes. We just had to get their story – and get ready to be surprised, because what Niecy did was . . . well, read on and find out!

Where do you live?

We live in Suffolk, VA

How long you have been together?

Almost half my life! We’ve been together 22 years and married almost 20 of those years.

What are the names and ages of your children and/or grandchildren?

Oh Wow! I was divorced with 3 children when we met and yet . . . Are you getting why I love this man so much???

Any who, our children’s names are Connis (who is now 29), Zavier (now 28), Letia (26 now) and Jovani, now 13.

We also have 5 grandchildren; Elijah 8, Kamiyah 6, Kylie 5, Dexter 4 and Cayden is 18 months:

Whew! Seems like a lot when you spell it out but I love them all as one. They make me crazy and happy all at once.

13-year old Javoni

How/where did you meet?

We met in Florida, my home state at the Mayport Naval Station … I can see it in my head, me walking around with my girls trying to look cute (lol!)

I remember passing this group of guys that was trying to get my attention. I kept walking of course, but on the way back he (Jeff) caught my eye.

I thought it would probably annoy his friends if I stopped to talk to him (the only White guy in the group), so I did (smile).

I was going to annoy them all and then move on but when I stepped up to him and said “Hello,” he gave me this quizzical look as if to say, “Me?”

It was his eyes . . . they grabbed me. I said something really lame like, “I’m going to marry you and have a daughter with those eyes…. 1 out of 3 ain’t bad – I’ll take it! Lol!

What was your defining moment – that moment when you each knew you were in love?

The moment he met my children and didn’t bat an eye, I knew he was sent to me for my soul mate.

How did you families and friends respond to the news of your relationship? How did you handle it?

My family is literally a melting pot and I grew up around interracial couples, so my family was fine with us.

Some of my friends – or ex-friends, I should say – were a different story. I was called a “sellout” among other things. I had one so-called friend ask me, “How can you sleep with a white man?”

I had a big fight with one that said “White people smell like wet dogs.” Needless to say I showed her the door face first … I know violence was not the right response but it felt good at the time.

Despite all the negativity we encountered at the beginning we held hands, kept our heads up and ignored the looks and comments. To make a very long story short . . . . Love truly is blind, deaf and dumb, too.

What do you like most about your mate?

The thing I’ve always loved the most about Jeff is the way he loves me! When he says he loves me I can feel it. I see it when he looks at me. He has never wavered in his love for me.

What advice would you give to others who are interested in dating/marrying interracially?

The only advice I could give is to love yourself first. That way, when love comes in whatever way, shape or form you will recognize it.

Any parting words?

All I have left is, “I Love You Jeff, more today than yesterday. I’m so grateful that God blessed me with you!”

Jeff Aldrich, who is currently deployed

One more thing, Ladies don’t be shy – take a chance. Walk over; say hi to a guy you like . . . This could be you 22 years from today!

All we have to say is, being friendly certainly worked for Niecy!

Join in the Fray: How do YOU define “Thirsty” and “Friendly?”

All rights reserved. All work is the copyright of the respective owner, otherwise copyright © 2014 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, Dallas, TX, USA. Photos used with permission.

Want to be profiled here on the blog and/or on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Swirling Single Of The Week: Danyell Huffman!

March 26, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 1 Comment

We experienced a wonderful response to our first Swirling Single Of The Week, Traci Milam.

Kudos to Traci for being bold enough to step on out there and represent as our first Swirling Single profile. Woot Woot!

[Sidebar: Just so you know, all our Swirling Singles have to complete a profile sheet. We also converse personally with each one. And yes, we engage in some other vetting steps – but ultimately, all vetting is on you.]

This is Adrienne and Me – giving you major side eye if you don’t know how to vet.

With that bit of housekeeping out-of-the-way, say hello to our next Swirling Single Of The Week: Danyell Huffman!

TSW Admin. Adrienne Leach had the opportunity to converse with Danyell and ask her some questions:

Danyell, how long have you been single?

I’ve been single for almost a year or so.

Tell me about yourself.

I’m definitely a lover. If you asked others about me they’d usually say that I’m a giver with a big heart. When people say “I’d give the shirt off my back”…I really mean it. I feel that I was put on earth to help others and I’ve been fortunate enough to be able to do that in my personal life and in my career.

I was raised with strong morals and values and always treat others how I would want to be treated. I’m severely loyal almost to a fault sometimes but I’m a believer in Karma so things always work themselves out if others try to take advantage of your kindness.

I’m a divorced mother of two and I love my children more than anything in the world; they are my greatest gifts. Everything I do and work towards has been for them . . . . oddly enough they’ve helped me to become a better person.

I’m very ambitious and it is the reason I’ve gotten so far in my career at a younger age. My career has always been a big part of my life. I’m passionate about my work and see my work as a reflection of myself so I always give 110%.

I’m always going to strive for greatness and will never be content with settling. That can really throw some people off because once I accomplish one goal it’s on to the next, but that’s just the way that I am.

I want to be able to change the world. Even though I’m only one person I feel like I can make a difference. My all-time favorite quote is “You must be the change that you wish to see in the world.” ~Gandhi.

I love the beach (I am a water child). Anything having to do with the beach is very relaxing to me. I have a laid-back personality and it’s pretty difficult to make me angry but when and if you ever do . . . watch out!

I’m definitely a girly girl but I don’t mind getting down and dirty either. I’m a very affectionate person and a hopeless romantic.

A couple of goals I have in this life are to write a book or books and have them published and sell well of course!

How long were you married?

I was married for 6 years. I didn’t get married thinking it would end in divorce, but unfortunately it did.

What are the qualities that you are looking for in a man and what type of relationship do you want your dating to lead to?

I am not getting any younger. At this point in my life I don’t want a ton of men in and out of my life and potentially my children’s, so I am looking for something serious (not right away of course), but something that would eventually lead to a long-term relationship. I’m not looking for a fling or casual dating but someone who is serious about having a family down the line.

It’s important that the man who I end up with understand that he doesn’t have to be a father to my children but I would expect him to eventually love my children like they were his own. Honesty and loyalty are at the top of my list.

I want someone who I can talk to for hours on end and it never gets old, someone who isn’t closed-minded and sees the bigger picture in life and in our relationship. I need someone who will not only tell me he loves me but more importantly, show me. Quality time is big on my list and it’s actually my love language.

I also want someone who isn’t afraid to take risks, ruffle a couple of feathers, and be spontaneous every once in a while. I believe in keeping things interesting and for me spontaneity is a way to accomplish that.

I need a man who can stand up for himself and not let people walk all over him. I need a man with great morals and values. I’m open to men with and without children but they have to be okay with me having children. I’m open to men from all walks of life. I’d like to keep my options open, think outside of the box. Who knows? Maybe I’ll find someone phenomenal!

All right, now! If Danyell seems like a lady you’d love to meet, send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com and we’ll make an introduction.

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Meet Our Youngest Swirlers (They Started Dating At 16!)

March 24, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 3 Comments

One of the things we love most about The Swirl World is the fact that our Swirlers come in all shapes, sizes, ethnicities – and ages.

Some people start Swirling later in life, others claim they’ve been Swirling from the cradle (well, almost).

Today in our continuing series on “Extraordinary People . . . Extraordinary Love” we’re excited to introduce you to the youngest Swirlers we’ve profiled.

Meet Erika Ragans and Jeanpaul Font-ayala!

Where do you live?

We live in our home town of Jacksonville, Florida. Florida is my birthplace while Jean’s is Puerto Rico. We both go to school but I’m part time because of my full-time job. Jean is a fulltime student.

How long you have been together?

Jean and I are both 20. We’ve been dating 4 years.

How/where did you meet?

Jeanpaul and I met in high school. He says he always had a crush on me but didn’t make a move until my boyfriend moved to Texas.

I love telling people about our first date because it was also the first time my Mother meet him. When she first saw Jean, she actually refused to let me go with him because he looked about 30 to her – we were both 15 at the time!

What was your defining moment – that moment when you each knew you were in love?

Erika: I knew I was in love with Jean when on vacation I wanted to go down to the pool for a quick swim. Jean agreed and we went, but after we got out of the water I realized Jean was covered in red bumps. Turns out his skin is really sensitive to changes in temperature so first the water, and then the cold air made him break out. He knew it would all along – he went swimming just because he knows I love to swim!

Jeanpaul: I fell in love when we were both standing in front of a mirror. I looked at her and thought, I want to be with her for a very long time.

How did you families and friends respond to the news of your relationship? How did you handle it?

Jean’s family had no real feeling about our relationship but later on when his mother saw how serious we were getting she got a little worried. My family wasn’t that shocked since I’ve never really dated someone my race.

What do you like most about your mate?

Jean: I love Erika’s personality and the fact that she’s willing to work through any of our problems.

Erika: The thing I love most about Jean is that he will always do his best to make me happy.

What advice would you give to others who are interested in dating/marrying interracially?

Our advice for people who want to date or marry someone who is a different race is this: forget skin color – just be with whoever makes you happy!

Erika and Jeanpaul – we’re happy you made that discovery at such a young age!

Swirl on.

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Swirling Single Of The Week: Traci Milam!

March 20, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 1 Comment

So yesterday we discussed the fact that having to “kiss a lot of frogs” seemed to be par for the course in the quest to find true love.

We said we believe that frogs don’t have to get in the way – The Swirl World is home to some pretty amazing people who simply need to meet each other.

We also put up a ton of DISCLAIMERS and gave you some good links to expert advice on vetting from Mrs. Eugenia Berg of “Married Girl In A Weird World.”

Now that we’ve gotten all the housekeeping done and all the disclaimers out-of-the-way, we’re happy to introduce our first Swirling Single Of The Week: Ms. Traci Milam!

Woot Woot!

Traci, tell us about yourself.

I am 35 years old, and I live in Memphis, TN. I currently teach History in my local public school system. I am open-minded; I love studying and learning about different cultures.

I am an honest, genuine woman. If I give you a smile and a compliment I truly mean it. I will appreciate the right guy for who he is. I want my feminine power to compliment his masculine power.

How do you approach relationships?

For me, doing little things are important; leaving notes for him just let him know that he’s in my thoughts. Speaking his “love language,” and willing to learn what makes him feel loved – making sure there is a balance of partnership to the relationship.

I am compassionate and a great listener. I think that this is a major part of maintaining a healthy relationship. I will support my partner, keeping the lines of communication open so that we can have those important conversations. I want to be able to read his moods, understand his concerns, and NOT make fun of his insecurities. Sometimes showing empathy is all that’s needed.

I want to disagree in a respectful manner and remember that differences of opinions don’t have to crush the relationship.

I love to laugh am constantly finding the humor in life. Laughter is at times the best medicine for what ails you.

Tell us about your family.

I am close to my family. We see one another at least once a week. We have a lot of fun together sharing…laughter can often be heard throughout my parent’s house when everyone visits.

I love going out with my two older sisters or just spending time sitting around shooting the breeze. My nieces and nephews are a joy to spend time with. I regularly attend their sports events, spelling bees, etc.

My parents are a true blessing in all of our lives. They are also hilarious. I often, tell my friends that my family should have their own reality show LOL! 😉

What do you like to do for fun?

I love traveling, visiting museums, going to live concerts and shopping. I’m a real FASHIONISTA! 😉

I also love to dance – I was a competitive pom-pom dancer in high school. I danced for my college team and for an NFL team.

What are your tastes in television and music?

One of my favorite TV channels is the History Channel. I’m historian after all! I also love Modern Family and Big Bang Theory.

Musicians that I like: Prince, Lauryn Hill, Beyoncé, Gwen Stefani, Lady GaGa, Maroon 5, Stevie Wonder, Marvin Gaye, Erykah Badu, Kelis, Pink, Outkast and The Roots.

Would you like to have children?

Children: I would like maybe to have one child.

Are you willing to relocate?

If the right person comes along I would, of course, discuss relocation as an option.

So Traci, what are you looking for in a mate?

Someone who is genuine: A man who is honest with his partner and willingly shares how his day went and asks about mine in return. A man who gives a woman a genuine compliment to her face rather than wolf whistling. One who says “Please” and “Thank you,” and means it.

A man who is just kind to others and not just for his own self-interest.

A man who is Good-Hearted: Kind and generous; romantic and family oriented.

Getting to know her parents and actually taking the time to earn their trust and approval. (Some people think that asking them for permission before proposing is outdated, but I still believe in it.)

Someone who won’t mind sending a little message to make sure I got home alright, and actually mean it, or bring flowers, just because – no need to wait for a special occasion.

Possesses emotional Intelligence and is very supportive – He leaves the lines of communication open so that we can have meaningful conversations. He tries to understand my concerns, and does NOT make fun of my insecurities.

A man who argues in a respectful manner and remembers that differences of opinions don’t have to crush the relationship.

Intelligent and supportive: Knowledgeable of general world events and able to converse in a socially acceptable manner. College educated would be great but I also absolutely love a man in uniform – military man, police officer, firefighter, etc. 😉

And, of course, I am willing to support his dreams as long as the risk is viable. We will be a team, partners – us against the world! 😉

So there you have it! If Traci seems like a lady you’d love to meet, send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Mondays With Mike: Why I Celebrate Black Women In Poetry (Part 2)

March 17, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 2 Comments

So last week on Mondays With Mike, our favorite Aussie shared a beautiful poem penned to (and for) his muse, @MissLJay20.

Today, Mike gives us the details on why he celebrates Black Women in poetry (and is inspired by his Muse):

Why I Celebrate Black Women In Poetry

All artists need a Muse, a source of inspiration, something which sets their spirits aflame, ignites their senses. Something to make them feel that if they don’t attempt to honour that beauty and majesty their soul will burst from trying to keep it all in.

It may seem strange but it’s just the way my Muse works. I don’t think I am alone in feeling like this. I think it’s the soul of all creativity.

Why Black Women In Particular?

So what is it that makes me filled with inspiration to write poetry for Black Women? Why Black Women in particular? Because my Muse moves when I see Black Women, when I hear them, when I appreciate them on all levels, I am always entranced.

I have to celebrate Black Women; my Muse guides my hands in doing so, and I love being able to communicate what I feel in what I write. If I wish to write and write well, I need my source of inspiration, and my Muse requires her due, which I am more than willing to give.

Luckily this has been easy of late. My Muse is beautiful, gives me so much inspiration to write, so much passion and energy that sometimes I don’t know if I will ever be able to pay it back in kind. I try my best and I am forever grateful for the gifts bestowed.

And Now, My Heart Is Open

I once thought that I should guard myself closely, be closed off and wary, worried of possible heartaches and troubles, but I am now looking more and more towards being open-hearted and looking for the possible in all things, to be thankful in finding it, and rejoicing in the happiness of it.

I won’t question why I should be so lucky so I don’t spoil it, but instead be gracious, thankful and appreciative in having received it, and trying my best to honour the gift I have been given.

And that is what has inspired my latest poem, and I hope it conveys that as best as can be said.

Cheers!

We have to say, @MissLJay20 is a beautiful Black Woman – and Mike is blessed to have her as his Muse!

Join in the Fray: Who or what inspires YOU?

Got a question for Mike? Send it to us via inbox on The Swirl World’s Facebook page or by email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Follow Mike on Twitter @500and50 read his blog at 500and50.com, or message him on his 500and50 Facebook page.

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Mondays With Mike: “Why I Celebrate Black Women In Poetry “

March 10, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway Leave a Comment

Mondays With Mike is BACK!

Our guy Mike in Australia has been on a bit of a hiatus since he took a new job. He’s a sensitive soul, Mike is, and he’s a poet.

His muse is a beautiful Black Woman whose Twitter handle is @MissLJay20.

Mike wrote a poem for her and shared it with us:

Just one word and I’m over the edge,
Falling from the walls of isolation,
Into the abyss so open and inviting,
Calling your name on the spiral down.

I once held on for dear life to it,
Clutching my fears with bloodied fingers,
Bruised and scraped my way to a higher loft,
And saw to lock myself away in a gilded cage.

But the merest whispers of your words sang,
And the locks and chains broke away,
So easily the walls did fall,
Did they even exist?

So now I descend freely into the space,
And a song of a thousand voices bear me aloft,
To fall with the weight of a feather,
Burning heart into the arms of an Angel.

We love it!

Stay tuned; next week in Part 2, Mike goes into detail about why he celebrates Black Women in his poetry.

Got a question for Mike? Send it to us via inbox on The Swirl World’s Facebook page or by email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Follow Mike on Twitter @500and50 read his blog at 500and50.com, or message him on his 500and50 Facebook page.

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

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Meet Our Youngest Swirlers (They Started Dating At 16!)

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Swirling Single Of The Week: Traci Milam!

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Mondays With Mike: Why I Celebrate Black Women In Poetry (Part 2)

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Mondays With Mike: “Why I Celebrate Black Women In Poetry “

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