The Swirl World

Celebrating and Elevating Black Women - mind, body, soul and spirit!


BIG, HUGE ANNOUNCEMENT: The Swirl World Podcast Is LIVE!

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Woot Woot!

The Podcast is here! The podcast is here!

That’s right:

The FIRST iTunes podcast based in the United States devoted strictly and completely to Black women involved in interracial and intercultural relationships!!!

And before we proceed, we want to give a major shout out to interracial married couple Clove and Sherley aka CHO & NILLA of Montreal, Quebec. They’ve been blogging and podcasting  from Canada for years, and to our knowledge THEY are the FIRST EVER to do an interracial podcast anywhere, and The Swirl World is the first in the United States. Be sure to go check them out and subscribe to their podcast. We plan to contact them to try to get them on our show. Woot! Woot!

Whew . . . !

OK, let me calm down and fill you in on the launch of The Swirl World Podcast:

The Back Story

Adrienne and I talked about in early 2013, and then decided to make launching a podcast one of our goals for 2014.

Adrienne, Patrick and I have been busy little beavers behind the scenes: Trying to figure podcasting out, inviting guests, recording shows, learning how to edit – you name it, we worked it.

After lots of Skype calls, dropped calls, technical snafus, learning how to work equipment, scheduling issues and changing of our launch dates, we finally got it together.

Whew! *Wipes brow*

The Purpose Of The Podcast

So, why a podcast? We’re glad you asked!

The Swirl World is extremely blessed to have legions of fans on Facebook, Twitter and here on the blog. We’re passionate about everyone – and Black women in particular – living their best life and achieving the happiness and security in relationships they desire. We believe that in order to do this, Black women must expand their dating and marriage options and open their lives up to quality men of all races and ethnicities.

And because we’re so passionate about our cause, we believe a podcast can serve well as an extension of the mediums we already use to promote our message. We want you to hear the passion in our voices and we want to develop deeper relationships with our audience.

With the podcast, our goal is to entertain, inform, educate and inspire you to live your best life. Why? Because Swirling Rocks, that’s why!

Who’s Going To Be On The Show?

We’re going to bring you a broad range of guests – both men and women – to discuss topics of interest to Swirlers.  Through interesting, exciting (and often hilarious) conversations, we’re going to engage our guests in subjects concerning:

  • Dating
  • Vetting
  • Marriage
  • Parenting
  • Careers
  • Education
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Beauty and Fashion
  • Lifestyle interests
  • Physical Health and Wellness
  • Mental Health

Upcoming guests include Swirl couples, authors, business owners, counselors, well-known interracial bloggers, and educators.

As an added bonus: We’re also going to bring you conversations with Swirling couples who are  in the military.

How Do I Access The Podcast?

Run, don’t walk, over to iTunes and SUBSCRIBE!

Here are the steps from Apple on how to find and subscribe to a podcast:

  1. Open iTunes. If you do not have iTunes, download the latest version of iTunes, free.
  2. In the upper-right corner of iTunes, click iTunes Store in the navigation bar.
  3. Click Podcasts in the navigation bar.
  4. In the “Search Store” field, enter “The Swirl World Podcast.” We should pop right up.
  5. When you find us, you can:
    • Stream the FREE podcast directly from the store by double-clicking an episode.
    • Download a specific episode to your iTunes library by clicking the Free button next to an individual episode.
    • Subscribe to the podcast by selecting Subscribe below the cover art on the left of the podcast page. We want you to subscribe because we don’t want you to miss an episode!

To listen to episodes you have downloaded to your iTunes library:

  1. Navigate to Library on the right side of the navigation bar in iTunes.
  2. Select Podcasts from the Library pop-up menu.
  3. Click The Swirl World to see all the episodes.
  4. Double-click an episode to play it.

If you’d prefer to watch a video outlining the steps, here’s one from Hubspot. Just make sure to insert The Swirl World Podcast in your searches.

A link to the podcast on iTunes will also be available in every post and in the sidebar.

Hey! I Wanna Be On The Show – Or I Know Somebody Who Should!

We’re always on the lookout for great people to feature on the podcast. If you have a product, business, skill or a good story to tell, contact us at Podcast@TheSwirlWorld.com.  We read and respond to every email.

Put A Face With A Voice

Many of you already know us from Facebook, but just in case you don’t have Facebook, let me introduce The Swirl World Team so you can put a face with the voices you’ll be hearing.

MMC TLK

 

Michelle Matthews Calloway – Lafayette, LA & Dallas, TX

I’m all over the place. If you see a woman with her fingers in a lot of pies, that would be me. Check out the About page to learn more.

 

 

Adrienne L LAdrienne London Leach – Bridgeport, West Virginia

Adrienne is co-host of the podcast, manager of The Swirl World’s Facebook page and my partner in crime!

 

 

 

 

Patrick iMix Studio 2Patrick J. Browne – Dublin, Ireland

You’ll hear Patrick’s voice introducing each podcast episode. Patrick is our audio editing guru and technology master. He’s a sweetheart and we love him to pieces.

 

 

 

Mark Custard 2

 

Mark Custard – Buffalo, NY

Mark will soon launch a new column on the blog entitled, “And On Another Note.” His column (and occasional videos!) will reflect his thoughts, musings and advice on dating Black women gleaned from his personal experiences. A father of two, he’ll also share his thoughts on parenting.

 

 

Jeff Lyons 2

 

Jeff Lyons – Oxnard, CA

Jeff is also launching a new column on The Swirl World. His column, “Just Ask Jeff,” is designed to answer Black women’s questions about dating, mating and relating to White men. Inbox your questions to us on Facebook or send an email to aswirlgirl@theswirlworld.com.

 

 

MIKE M - TOMichael Miocevich – Perth, Australia

Mike holds the distinction of being the most tenured of the guys on the team. His “Mondays With Mike” column garners LOTS of readers and attention both here and in Australia, his homeland – so much so that he appeared as a guest on a national television show! Mike is extremely prolific and publishes an amazing literary website, 500and50.com.

Follow Mike on Twitter @500and50 and read his blog at 500and50.com, or message him on his 500and50 Facebook page.

Click here to view Mike’s recent appearance on an Australian national television show.

Be Social – Subscribe, Subscribe, Subscribe!

To go to the iTunes podcast, view episodes and subscribe, click here.

Here’s The First Episode – Head Over To iTunes For More!

If you prefer, you can also catch the podcast on Sound Cloud!

Thanks so much for your continued support. We can’t do this without YOU!
Keep Swirling, and remember: Life Is Better – In The Swirl World!™

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Copyright © 2014 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, The Swirl World Podcast™, All rights reserved. Photos used with permission.

 

What KKK Can Teach Us About Love

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No, we’re not talking about that KKK – we’re talking about Kyler and Katia Kline!

Kylar and Katia hiking on Cheyenne Mountain in Colorado

Kylar and Katia hiking on Cheyenne Mountain in Colorado

Despite the naysayers and despite the ugliness and ignorance surrounding a recent highly publicized, highly dysfunctional interracial “relationship” that has dominated the news, interracial relationships – devoid of the cray-cray – are thriving.

Black women are living well and more and more of them are enjoying their lives, thumbing their collective noses at the nonsense and the madness and demonstrating to the world what real love is all about.

These Black women are dating, marrying and building families. Many are married to men we call “warriors” – our military men who are on the front lines protecting our freedoms.

(And many of them are “warriors” themselves!)

This week we take a refreshing break from the dysfunction and the madness and bring you a wonderful couple who, despite the deployments that are the norm of military life, are happy and whole – loving each other and living life to the fullest.

Ladies and Gentlemen, meet Kyler and Katia Kline.

In most instances the wife fills out our interview questionnaire. But in the case of Kyler and Katia, Kyler wanted to be the one to share their very special story – and in so doing proclaim his love of Katia to the world!

Enjoy their beautiful pictures – and enjoy their love!

Where do you live?

We live in Clarksville, Tennessee, in the greatest nation in the world.

How long you have been together?

We have been together for four years, three of which we have been happily married.

What are the names and ages of your children and/or grandchildren?

We currently do not have any children, but have already picked out some names for when the time comes.

How/where did you meet?
We first meet in the 10th grade and became friends and stayed friends throughout the years.

She shared an apartment with a good friend of mine and while home on leave we started talking and spending time together, and with my irresistible charm and good looks we decided to keep talking long distance.

After 6 months we decided to make it serious, and 6 months after that she sacrificed her current life to marry and eventually come live with me in Colorado – something I will forever be grateful for.

What was your defining moment – that moment when you each knew you were in love?

Kylar and Katia Kline - RNIR 1

We were at her apartment watching a movie together and we started holding hands. It was at this time I finally knew I was falling in love with her.

Then, when I was deployed to Afghanistan she sang, “You Are My Sunshine” to me. It was at this time I KNEW I loved her.

Our coming home kiss when my unit arrived home from Afghanistan – our first kiss in a year!

Our coming home kiss when my unit arrived home from Afghanistan – our first kiss in a year!

How did you families and friends respond to the news of your relationship?

My sisters were worried for their little brother as always and provided me with advice, yet they loved Katia and were happy and supportive of us.

My father was supportive of our relationship, but on hearing news that we wanted to get married expressed strongly that we at the age of 21 were too young to get married. He was extremely upset after hearing that we did get married but later approved of it after hearing words of wisdom from my Step-Mom. He then even offered Katia a room at his house while I was deployed.

My biological mom was of a different side and became slightly prejudiced. She did not expect to have her son dating a beautiful young Black lady; furthermore upon hearing of our engagement she expressed she wanted white grandkids. This was deeply upsetting to us.

But after getting to know Katia she began to love her and they are now close loving friends as mother and daughter in law, and even call each other regularly. My Mom also can’t wait for the cutest mixed babies the world will have ever seen!

Katia and I before we got married. She is holding my niece Elizabeth.

Katia and I before we got married. She is holding my niece Elizabeth.

The majority of our friends were very happy and supportive, but some of my male friends had the suspicion that she may be a “Tag Chaser,” which is a person who wants to date a soldier for the benefits or nostalgia of it. Most people don’t realize how poorly soldiers get paid till they marry one. But after meeting her they realized she was a benevolent young lady who loved me for me, and were then supportive.

The Army’s birthday ball at Fort Carson

The Army’s birthday ball at Fort Carson

How did you handle it?

I followed my heart, and could not be happier that I did.

This is my favorite picture of Katia, which I kept on me at all times while deployed in Afghanistan

This is my favorite picture of Katia, which I kept on me at all times while deployed in Afghanistan

What do you like most about your mate?

Everything not to sound corny, but I love how kind and loving she is, her smile, how she can sometimes be a handful, that she’s out going and fun,  her body. And most of all that she chose to spend the rest of her life loving me.

This photo was our honeymoon night. Unfortunately we couldn't go on a real vacation because I was only home for two weeks and had to go back to Afghanistan.

This photo was our honeymoon night. Unfortunately we couldn’t go on a real vacation because I was only home for two weeks and had to go back to Afghanistan.

What advice would you give to others who are interested in dating/marrying interracially?

I don’t see races, I only see many Americans of different cultures all of which I love. Unfortunately not everyone in America feels this way, so be ready for constant glares and judgment from others in public. This more so happens to my wife when I’m with her we only get glares and looks, most likely because of my size I tend to be intimidating.

Kylar and Katia Kline - Home Ball

She has even been attacked on face book before, being called many names. But we still publicly display how proud we are to be together and to be in love with one another.  

Our first baseball game together at the Denver Colorado Rockies stadium. We found that baseball was to boring for us.

Our first baseball game together at the Denver Colorado Rockies stadium. We found that baseball was to boring for us.

Anything else you believe is pertinent or just want to add?

We love your page and what it stands for!

 

THIS, Ladies and Gentleman, is what love is supposed to be like: Pure, proud and real. Thanks to Kyler for the service he provides to our country and thanks to Katia for being the wind beneath his wings!

 Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com.

 Copyright © 2014 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, Lafayette, LA. All rights reserved. Photos used with permission.

 

How Do You Mend A Broken Heart? The Love Story Of Brad And Jamaica Miller – The Conclusion

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For the past two weeks we have shared Part 1 and Part 2 of the story of Jamaica and Brad Miller, a military couple currently stationed in Louisiana.

Jamaica poured out her heart and shared her story with us – the good, the bad and the ugly. Some of her story we deemed too intimate and too personal to share via this medium, yet we’re honored and humbled Jamaica trusted us with her story and felt comfortable enough to let us peek into her experiences.

Jamaica left no stone unturned and hopes her story serves as an inspiration to other women.

Jamaica and Brad Miller_Wedding photo 2

Jamaica’s story is one of blood, sweat and a bucket load of tears. In many ways Jamaica is – no, was – a classic representation of a woman who stays in an abusive, dead-end relationship for far too long – and to her own detriment.

Thankfully, Jamaica was able to file for divorce and not only make a new start, but find a true and lasting love. Sadly, many women who flee physical, mental and emotionally abusive relationships are not as fortunate: Almost 1-million domestic violence incidents are reported each year (and if this is the number of reported incidents, can you imagine what the number would be if all incidents were reported???) [Source]

On average, 3 women and 1 man are murdered by their partner each day.

Each. Day.

 Ponder that fact as you read the concluding installment of Jamaica Miller’s story:

I filed for divorce again and moved out to my sister’s house. June came and I saw on Facebook that Brad would be returning to the states. I thought he would return to Kentucky and wondered how I would handle it, but he was sent to Louisiana.

I was happy for him and glad that he was back from his deployment safe and sound. I watched him on Facebook and noticed how women paid him compliments and obviously tried to get to know him. I had to admit that jealousy and other feelings were taking over me.

I prayed, Lord what is happening to me? I kept my distance but I knew in my heart this time I clearly wanted more.

The divorce was in process. I had signed my papers and was just waiting on my ex to sign his. Months passed by and still nothing. After much begging and pleading, he finally signed.

I didn’t immediately run to Brad. I talked to him from time to time but I kept my feelings hidden. Months passed and I heard nothing other than he was just enjoying his leave.

I continued to see pictures of him living, dating and enjoying life. Feeling unhappy, I finally expressed to him that I didn’t like it. He reminded me we were just friends. I thought, Oh ok, Jamaica – that’s all you wanted from day one, right? For him to be a friend?

Jamaica and Brad Miller_Brad

I kept praying, and asked the Lord if Brad was the man for me. I prayed that if there was anything ungodly in him that God would remove it from him, if he was the man He had for me.

By this time me and Brad’s conversations had only been on Facebook. I wanted to hear his voice but wasn’t ready to express I wanted more.

So you know the info tab that’s on Facebook? Well, it had his phone number so I saved it to my phone. It took me two weeks to actually use it! LOL!

I took a deep breath and texted, “Hello friend it’s Jamaica. I’m so glad you made it back safe. Be good, don’t break hearts.”

He texted me back and said, “I wouldn’t if you’ll just be my girl already! Stop telling me no – there’s nothing stopping you now.”

I laughed and said, Ok. We conversed and sent messages and acknowledged we had feelings – and now that we’d said it, long distance was in our way now.

At the end of August I got a message from Brad saying, “I’m coming to see you. I can’t take it anymore.” I said, “You’re kidding, right?”

He said, “Nope!”

I was nervous, not knowing if he’d be the same man behind the messages and conversations. On August 31 he texted me and said, “I’m outside.”

I froze a good 10 minutes before making it to the door. I went outside to his truck and we hugged, our smiles big as ever. The first thing he said was, “Do you have a bag I can use for my shoes? I kinda just through them in my truck – I was just ready to get to you!”

I laughed and said sure. We headed to my sister’s house. All I remember is him holding my hand the whole ride telling me I’m beautiful. I felt like a princess.

Jamaica and Brad Miller_Evening Wear

I knew this was my sunshine after the storm!!!!

He could only stay four days and by October we knew we wanted our relationship to go further. He asked me to move to Louisiana. He continued to say there wasn’t much there, but that he’d make it worth it for his family.

On Jan 29th he asked me to marry him! I started planning a small wedding. On February 2 he got baptized. We got married on February 14!

Jamaica and Brad Miller_Wedding photo - License

We asked, What was your defining moment – that moment when you each knew you were in love?

Jamaica’s response: The defining moment I knew I was in love was our first kiss. It lasted forever with him just holding me tight!!

Brad’s response: My defining moment was making two back-to-back trips to see Jamaica. I would never travel to see a woman – but she was worth it!

How did you families and friends respond to the news of your relationship? How did you handle it?

I’ve attached a picture of  a text message showing his Mom and Dad’s responses:Jamaica and Brad Miller - Parents Test Message

After we got married, Brad called his aunt. They all congratulated us.

When Brad came to town to see me that first time, we went to my sister’s house. My nieces and nephew ran to the door to meet him. My oldest sister just kept giving me that look and whispered, “He’s the one – keep him!” Lol! For my sister to say that, I knew I was on the right path.

Later my little sister came in town from Lexington.  We sat up and chatted for a while. She said, “I can tell you like him. I know he’s the one so take your time and I can’t wait to be in your wedding!” LOL

My Mom and Dad gave their seal of approval and welcomed Brad to the family. They asked him if his parents were ok with him dating outside his race  and he replied, “Yes – from the time I was born!” LOL

What do you like most about your mate?

Jamaica’s response: What I like most about my husband is his drive to go above and beyond for his family. Our daughter wanted to change the color of her dresser and put her new initial “M” on it – and he did just that.

Jamaica and Brad Miller_Selfie with Daughter

Brad’s response: What I like most about my wife is that she loves me no matter the trail of clothes I leave from the shower to the closet after pt! At first she fussed but now I just leave a note saying, Sorry, Hun I had to rush back to work to bring home the bacon. I LOVE YOU !!!

What advice would you give to others who are interested in dating/marrying interracially?

Our advice would be, Go for it! Love comes in all shades. Don’t be afraid and don’t worry about the dirty looks you get. The only thing that matters is the love you have for each other and how happy you are.

Most important don’t try to change each other, but enjoy the things that make you different. For the first time ever, I rode a horse for my husband. I was scared out my mind at first but I had fun! LOL

Jamaica and Brad Miller_Swim

For us, we know God doesn’t make mistakes. Make God the center In all you do!!!

So that’s us, the Millers. I hope our story touches others’ hearts, knowing that anything is possible!!!

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, call the National Domestic HOTLINE at 1-800-799-7233 | 1-800-787-3224 (TTY) or visit TheHotline.org.

 Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com.

 Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved. Photos used with permission.

How Do You Mend A Broken Heart? The Love Story Of Brad And Jamaica Miller – Part 2

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Jamaica and Brad Miller_Civilian clothesLast week we gave you Part 1 of the story of Brad and Jamaica Miller, an interracial couple who shared their photos with The Swirl World Facebook page.

We enjoy sharing beautiful photos of couples, yet we’re always aware there is a story behind the photo – what were the circumstances bringing this couple get together? Where did they meet? How did they manage to fall in love?

One thing about life and love: Sometimes it doesn’t come wrapped in a pretty package, all neatly tied with a bow.

Sometimes life is convoluted and conflicting, yet somehow it all seems to work out in the end.

Try to remain judgment free.

Jamaica continues: 

Who was on the line? My now-husband Brad trying get his Mack on!

He’d seen me at the mall and gotten my number from one of my friends. He proceeded to say, “Hey, didn’t I just see you at the mall?”

Not knowing who the man was, I replied, “No, I’m sure of it. There’s no way.”

He says, “Are you sure?”

When I said yes, he said, “You must have a twin as beautiful as you – she walked right past me in the mall!”

He sent me a friend request on Facebook and was honest about the fact that he was interested in me but my guard was up wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy high from all the hurt and pain I’d been through. I knew he was interested in more, but I told him that I was going through a divorce and could not move forward with anyone until and unless it was final.

Of course in the back of my head I wished I was completely free but I detached myself from Brad and told him we could never be anything more. Right after that, Brad was deployed to Korea.

During the midst of it all I prayed to God and asked, what is this??? Here’s this man who seems really nice and could be all a girl could ever want for a man and husband.

I said this can’t be your work because I’m still married and I know you forbid this behavior. I was seeing all of what Brad was and I prayed that my husband could be that type of man too.

So, even though I was confused as ever, I became even more determined to try to work things out with my husband. 

Three months pass by, and then I looked up and a more than a year had passed. In that time my marriage hadn’t gotten any better and my husband was still just going from woman to woman. I was still one foot out the door seeing no nope.

Orders come up that my husband is getting stationed back in Kentucky. I was sad to leave my church home, friends and my sisters. I wanted to stay right there, which I could have done, but my heart I believed God was saying, “Go; just trust me.”

It was then early December 2012, and we were back on the road to Kentucky. We stopped off to visit family in South Carolina.

On December 25 I was in bed crying about how unhappy I was. All I wanted was for my husband to love me – this was the story of my life. It was Christmas and all he had done was leave me behind at the house – again.

Suddenly there was a loud knock at the door. Someone rushed in to tell us my husband had been in a car accident. My heart was racing with mixed feelings – Lord . . . ?

We get to the scene and it was a sight to see: I had been crying about my husband leaving me at home, but if he’d taken me with him, that would’ve been me in the passenger seat – lifeless.

His best friend died on impact. My husband, who was driving, had broken ribs and head trauma. His cousin, who was in the back seat on the right side, had his face cut open.

We were now stuck in South Carolina and traveling back and forth to Fort Jackson. I’m praying, Lord why??? What are you telling me??? All I could hear was “Just trust me.” I instantly thought, ‘Till death do us part,’ and soldiered on.

I nursed my husband back to health, listening to his many cries to the doctors of “Where’s my wife? I need her here!” He was in ICU and the times were limited when I could visit.

One trying month passed. I thought the accident was a sign to keep working at my marriage, but nope. As soon as the doctor cleared him to take it slow and get back to living, he left me at his Mom’s house and took a flight back to Colorado to be with another woman – three days before my 26th birthday.

The texts and lies continued until finally a video of him in the act confirmed it all. I said, “Lord you told me to trust in you, but this can’t be it right?

March came and I couldn’t wait to get home to family. My sisters could tell something was wrong. They know Kentucky isn’t home for me. Even so, I kept saying I was fine.

April came and my husband was seeing yet another woman. I called my sisters in Christ and let them know nothing had changed; they reminded me of the Lord’s vision of marriage. I got what was to be my last phone call from one of my husband’s women and told that woman, “You can have him.” I filed for divorce again, and this time I meant it. 

Stay tuned for the final installment in Part 3.

 

Join In The Fray: Have you ever stayed too long in a dead-end relationship? What finally made you call it quits?

 Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com. 

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved. Photos used with permission.

How Do You Mend A Broken Heart?

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We’ve all seen it: Pictures of a storybook wedding complete with a dreamy guy and girl whose story seems to come straight out of a fairy tale.

Even though in our little girl hearts many of us would love to be that girl in the photos, if we’re honest life experiences have taught our “big girl” hearts that sometimes the road to love is not characterized by a smoothly sailing ship – no, sometimes the road to love is filled with bumps and bruises – real ones.

Mrs. Jamaica Miller, wife of Brad Miller reached out to us on our Facebook page. She shared her storybook photos – and was also very honest and transparent in telling the not so pretty story that preceded it.

Jamaica and Brad Miller_Wedding photo

Over the next few posts we’ll share Jamaica’s story with you as she shared it with us.

Where do you live?

Fort Polk, Louisiana

How long you have been married?

Six amazing months!

What are the names and ages of your children and/or grandchildren?

We have the most beautiful little girl! Her name is Raionna. She’s 9, and she’s from a past relationship.

For my daughter, this is all she ever wanted and even for myself as a mother living the “single mom” life. My husband instantly took to her and asked me if he could adopt her. As a mother I couldn’t want anything more but for my daughter to have two parents who love her. I asked for her approval and said, “Do you want Brad to be your father?” She said, “YES!”

If you were to ask my husband today what he lives for, his reply would be to be an amazing father to provide all the things he never had, and the most admirable one of all, to serve his country. He’s the most dedicated soldier I know!!! We’re currently “ttc” (trying to conceive).

Jamaica and Brad Miller_daughter dance

How/where did you meet?

Are you ready? This is so funny. So by 2009 I had moved away from Kentucky, which is my childhood home. Now to Colorado Springs, CO – in this time frame my now husband had joined the army and arrived to his first duty station in Kentucky. We didn’t cross paths at all. This is just a little history so you can understand better.

I was previously married, and I was in an abusive marriage. I married a man when all the signs were pointing not too. You see, I grew up with the image “this is love.” Ugh! I’m all teary-eyed! Lol.

So, I’d arrived in Colorado with the drive, and the thought, “This (my previous marriage) will work. God is with me; He can change this man.”

Oh boy was I wrong! I was thinking, ‘New place; new people.’ Nope!  My ex-husband had women lined up to meet – I never saw a phone bill so long. Try not to cry as I continue, but I know my testimony will change lives.

So that first year my life was hell. Picture that little girl at the door begging her Daddy not to go. That was me – that wife begging her husband not to go, knowing he’s running to another woman – and with a push and a punch for me to stay put.

Long story short, after six months in he left me for another woman, with no food, no money, not knowing where to start. Calls from other women – their pregnant calls asking me who I was, as if I was the other woman and was not his wife; like I’m just his crazy baby mom, etc.

You can only imagine how many times the police were called, how many bruises I had hiding under my clothes.

I cried, I cried; I prayed and I cried. The more I cried, the more he left and the closer me and God got. I was on my knees praying, “Lord, I know, I know this isn’t what You have planned for me. That little girl in the other room – I need to get up for her.

I prayed, “Lord, what is Your purpose for me? I know it’s greater than my own understanding. Lord, please find me a church home so I can start on this walk with you.”

Fast forward two years. Same troubles; same tears. I sit on the porch and I see a woman crossing the street toward me. I said in my head, “Please don’t!” She approaches and says, “Hi! My name is Kenyatta. I make jewelry; you should come check it out.”

Me, though I’m a shy soul, I said yes. Her home was so welcoming! She continued to tell me about her wonderful church, which was Open Bible Baptist Church. From that day forward I attended church and car-pooled with her.

My husband only came home for clothes. Days went by with the sun coming up and I still hadn’t seen him. It seemed the closer to God I got, the further he was into the world.

A year later I gave my life to The Lord I was saved and baptized. I separated and filed for divorce after my husband’s last attack landed me in the hospital with a hand cast because I was fighting for dear life trying to get away.

I enrolled in school to become a pharmacy tech, left high and dry and started living on my own. I landed a job in a pharmacy through my church two months into school. My life began to blossom and I couldn’t be more happy. My birthday was February 15 birthday is here and 24 never felt so good.

Two days later I received a Facebook message – yes, FACEBOOK. Guess who it was?

————–

Stay tuned for Part II of “How Do You Mend A Broken Heart!”

Join In The Fray: Do you believe love comes in neat little packages? Why or why not?

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com. 

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved. Photos used with permission.

 

Will You Be Their Valentine? Meet Brandon And Brooklynn!

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Here in The Swirl World we’ve been fortunate to have a number of men reach out to us. We receive nice emails and in boxes on our Facebook page from “Rainbeaus” and “Other Brothers” who kindly share their appreciation for our page and for lovely Black Women.

Navy man Brandon Welch, a divorced Dad who’s raising his little girl, is one of those gentlemen.

The Back Story

We first heard from Brandon in November 2012 when he shared a photo of him and his little daughter Brooklynn.

Brandon and Brooklynn 1

Now, Brooklynn is the bees-knees and puts the “A” in ADORABLE and the “C” in CUTENESS, and needless to say everyone fell in love with her at first sight.

(Her Dad is pretty gorgeous too, we might add. Just sayin’.)

Pictures of Brandon and Brooklynn quickly went viral on our Facebook page and other Swirl pages, and they became recurring favorites.

Brandon and Brooklynn 2

We’re so happy that Brandon, who gets deployed from time to time, checks in with us when he’s in port.

He’s extremely patient and very kindly answers our numerous questions.

He’s also a good sport, because he agreed to let us profile him on the blog and on our Facebook page – just in time for Valentine’s Day!

Some Info On Brandon:

Age: 24

Height: 6’1”

Military Branch: Navy

Marital status: Divorced

Brooklynn’s age: 2

Brandon’s parents take care of Brooklynn when he is away.

November 2013 Update

When we heard back from him in late November 2013, he said,

“I have been busy for the most part. We went on deployment a couple of months ago and I’m still not home as of yet. I’m still single and live in Florida. Brooklynn (my daughter) is two now and has been getting spoiled by her grandparents since I have been gone. Not too much has changed for me besides seeing the other side of the world, but it was definitely one for the books. Hope all is well!”

Brandon sent us these photographs of his return and reunion with his daughter. They rank as some of the most popular we’ve ever shared!

Brandon and Brooklynn 5

Oh, The Cuteness and The Sweetness!

Brandon and Brooklynn 6

January 2014 Update 

In January we asked Brandon to give us an update. He said:

“My past year has been full of ups and downs. Getting adjusted to raising my daughter with the help of my parents was something I had to get used to. Brooklynn stayed with them while I was on deployment, and I knew she would be taken care of without worry.

In 2014 I’m planning on spending mostly with Brooklynn since most of 2013 was spent with me being away. I missed seeing her personality and mind develop while I was gone. She’s very opinionated and working on becoming independent even though I tell her she’s not allowed to grow up anymore. Lol!”

Movie Night with Brandon & Brooklynn

Movie Night with Brandon & Brooklynn

Valentine’s Day Update

I’m still single. I would like to date; I’ve always wanted a family . . . .

So this year I definitely want to keep my daughter close and possibly find someone to start a relationship with. Brooklynn is my heart and the only thing I am scared of in this world is something happening to her. She’s my angel . . . .”

Stop The Presses!

Ladies, not only is Brandon single – he’s ready to start dating!

Brandon and Brooklynn 8

Woot Woot!

Of course, you have to know that we stepped up and told Brandon that we’d be happy to help him with his search because, well, we’re just good like that.

Cough, cough.

And of course, you have to know that we’re going to be his big sisters and try to screen the women who show an interest because, well, we’re just super protective like that.

Just sayin’.

We’re excited at the prospect of Brandon finding love and we’re going to do whatever we can to assist him in any way.

Which leads us to . . . .

A Big Announcement!

Remember we told you that we were going to start pod-casting? Well, Brandon has agreed to join us on the podcast!

He’ll be giving us updates on Brooklynn raising him raising Brooklynn, military life and life as a Swirler who is trying to find love.

Woot to the woot, woot, WOOT!

We haven’t hammered out all the details and logistics, so stay tuned.

If you haven’t subscribed to the blog, make sure you do so you don’t miss any updates or announcements concerning the start of the podcast.

*Whispering . . . Just so you know, Brandon has a deep, baritone voice . . . .*

Brandon and Brooklynn 4

Join in the Fray: So, will you be Brandon – and Brooklynn’s – Valentine?

All rights reserved. Copyright © 2014 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, Dallas, TX, USA. Photos used with permission.

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What Do Australian Men Think Of Black Women And Beauty?

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cropped black woman faceThis week’s question on Monday’s With Mike addresses the opinion of Australian men concerning the beauty of Black Women.

“Black Women are constantly bombarded with preset definitions of “beauty” and in many cases criticized for their looks by men of the same ethnicity. What makes a Black Woman attractive/appealing to you in particular, and to Australian men in general?”

Mike’s response:

It’s kind of hard to describe why you feel the attraction to a particular person or people, or describe why you have a type you prefer.

I guess for me it’s something I feel in the marrow of my bones, just an attraction I have always had. If you wanted to go into specifics I think it is likely to do with how whenever I see Black Women, it seems like there is an inner light radiating out of them. I see it come through their eyes and skin, and it’s just beautiful.

It’s also the way they hold themselves; their style and grace. Also, they know how to hold a great conversation I’ve found, and have some excellent perspectives on life different to my own – which is great as it helps me see things in a different light.

For Australian men I think those who want to date BW usually would feel similar; love a BW’s special style of beauty and grace, as well as the fact that you’re different, stand out, and are exotic and mysterious. Men love that, they love to follow and find out things about people from different places, especially Australians as we’re all stuck down here on this massive island with no way to get out except via boat or plane! If you come to us, we’re just that much happier!

Cheers!

MIKE M - THIS ONEGot a question for Mike? Send it to us via inbox on The Swirl World’s Facebook page or by email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Follow Mike on Twitter @500and50 and read his blog at 500and50.com, or message him on his 500and50 Facebook page.

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

Swirling, Persian Style – In Mississippi!

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Last week we brought you the lovely Merieta Bayati, the product of a “Persian Swirl.”

Her father Masoud is Persian and her mother Sylvia is Black. Merieta shared with us what life was like growing up as the mixed race daughter of a Persian father and a Black mother – in Jackson, Mississippi.

We first met the Bayati’s in The Swirl World on Facebook after Merieta was kind enough to share a gorgeous family photo. The Bayati’s are beyond beautiful, not only in appearance but especially because they represent a loving and cohesive family unit.

Of course we were beyond excited at the prospect of obtaining the back story on a “Persian Swirl,” so we asked Merieta if her parents would agree to an interview.  Thankfully,  they said yes and Mr. and Mrs. Bayati were gracious enough to consent to answering our many questions about what Swirling, Persian Style – is like.

(Make sure you read their complete profile – we have a surprise at the end!)

With great joy and pride, The Swirl World presents Mr. Masoud and Mrs. Sylvia Bayati!

 Masoud and Sylvia Bayati

Where do you live? 

We live on ten beautiful acres where deer roam occasionally; squirrels are in motion constantly throughout the yard and a variety of birds singing to their own tune in Jackson, Mississippi.

How long you have been together?

We are blessed to be together thirty-five years as of September 1, 2013.

What are the names and ages of your children and grandchildren?

We have three daughters and one son: Merieta-30, Myron-27, Milan-25 and Mitra-24.

Masoud and Sylvia Bayati - Kids

Two granddaughters include: Mariah-4, Malayah-11 months and two grandsons:  Trenton-7 and Damian-5 years old.

Merieta Bayati - Family

How did you meet?

Sylvia says, “Our first encounter was on the first floor of the library at the university that we attended and future encounters were made in the building where Masoud had engineering classes. I was a business major.”

What was your defining moment – that moment when you each knew you were in love?

Sylvia: After three months of a whirlwind summer romance, I prayed and talked to God about him. Mesmerized by him, my heart knew I wanted to spend my golden years with my now husband, Masoud.

Masoud: The thought of her not being with me when she had to go home and being excited to see her every day and evening was my sign of committing to her forever. In later years, engraving the words: My heart belongs only to Sylvia. 

How did you families and friends respond to the news of your relationship? 

Sylvia: My mother was not pleased about me marrying outside my race in the beginning but, my father would say, “Go ahead and let them marry.” Eventually, my mom grew to love him! There were lots of stares from all races in the beginning years. Remarks such as “A white man marrying a black woman?? We’ll see how long that will last.” The Caucasian judge who performed our wedding stated, “Come and see me if he acts up.”

Masoud: My parents hated the fact that I married a Black woman. It was unacceptable to them, but I married the woman I knew would make me happy forever. Even as years went by, they were still very bitter over our relationship. I loved my parents to death, but I had to do what would make me happy and I never looked back. 

What do you like most about your mate? 

Sylvia: What I like most about my mate is that he is a “can-do” and a “take-charge” type man. God has blessed his hands and he can fix mostly anything he puts his hands to. I can travel from the east coast to the west coast by car, plane or whatever and feel safe. The car can break down in the desert or snow and he takes charge in fixing it.

Masoud: My wife’s patience and not nagging even when it was warranted due to long working hours. Her writing a relationship book to bring balance in not only our marriage, but other marriages and relationships as well.  Her unselfishness and caring and faith to bring positivity in the lives of others are what I like most about my wife. We talk things through and listen to each other; appreciate, validate and respect one another.

What advice would you give to others? 

Because finances play a big role in breakups, stay out of debt as much as possible and don’t live above your means. Become great friends. If you can remember that you’re a team and during the difficult times, recollect what drew you to your precious mate in the first place, that certainly helps.

Pray, keep the faith and things will work out for your good. Nothing is more important than family, great friends when you find them, and good health.

My husband still tells our children a funny story about our relationship to this day: “Your mom could not walk straight without running her hands along the fence and she thought she was doing it to be cute, but I thought she was retarded! Somehow I still loved her and eventually we got married!”

Our children fall on floor laughing. These are the small things in our family that become priceless.

Thank you for taking the time to get to know us and our family.

Many Blessings,

Masoud & Sylvia Bayati

Editor’s Note: Sylvia Bayati is also an author! If your relationship has gotten into a rut, maybe Sylvia’s new book, The Sexless Marriage: A Relationship Guide can help you get back on track! It’s available for purchase on Amazon.

—–>Join in the Fray: As a special treat to our readers: Post a comment or question below to enter a random drawing for a free copy of Sylvia’s book!<—–

 

 

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Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

All rights reserved. Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, Dallas, TX, USA. Photos used with permission.

“I’m The Product of a Persian Swirl!”

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This week at The Swirl World on Facebook we received an in-box from Merieta Bayati, one of our new fans.

Turns out Merieta is the product of a Persian Swirl!

She says, “My mom is Black and my father is Persian. They met in college in Jackson, MS where I was born and raised. Here’s a photo of my entire family.”

Merieta Bayati - Family

Woot Woot!

I know we keep saying this, but it bears repeating:

Here in The Swirl World, our goal is to highlight Swirl couples and share their STORIES. So much of what we read and see in the media concerning Black Women is negative. We intend to dispel the myths and negate the stereotypes by showcasing Women of Color in loving relationships who are loved, respected and appreciated.

When you come to The Swirl World, you won’t be bombarded with drama and negativity because in our world, we celebrate and lift up “Ordinary People . . .  Extraordinary Love.” 

We’re going to feature Mr. and Mrs. Bayati in an upcoming post, but today we want to feature their daughter Merieta.

Merieta Bayati - 1

Tell us a little of yourself, background. Besides being quite beautiful and talented, tell us a little about your education, what you are doing now, do you currently have a boyfriend, hubby and is it a swirl situation?

I was born and raised in Jackson, MS, but I currently reside in Hamden, CT. I hold a BS in Business Management and in addition to working in Human Resources at Yale University; I am a Motivational Speaker and Singer.

My days are usually spent planning events; speaking to young girls about self-esteem, business, and helping them realize their full potential.

As a single mother of an 8-year-old son, I do lots of juggling and multi-tasking to keep my life balanced. By choice, I am currently single, but I absolutely do not discriminate when it comes to love. I have no idea if it will be a swirling situation or not when I meet Mr. Right J. My parents have definitely taught me that anyone can fall in love.

What was it like growing up in a Persian/Black American home? Were you the only Swirl family in your community/neighborhood? How was it for you in school? How did your brothers and sisters adjust or did any of you even notice?

Growing up in the Bayati household was definitely interesting. We were that crazy “mixed” family that everyone knew, but also loved to be around. The boys all knew not to come near me because my strict father had them terrified. The Persian culture is very different from the Americans so that was a little tough in my pre-teen and teen years. I didn’t understand what made me so different from the rest.

For the most part, school was fine and people accepted me and my siblings for who we were. But there were those moments when people would ask, “What are you?”, “Is your daddy white?”, “Are y’all Spanish?”, “Why is your hair like that?”, “Is that Black lady your nanny?”

Mind you; we grew up in a very racist state and interracial dating was not common. After years of hearing the same things, it just became a normal part of life. I would often wonder what makes me so special and why did people make such a big deal about what my race was. I only knew that I was “different” because my peers pointed that out.

It wasn’t until my late teens that I finally became confident enough and accepted myself for who God created me as. We all are human beings regardless of race. When it comes to love, I see no borders whatsoever. My mom always taught me to be proud of both cultures and never let people categorize me as just “Black” or just “Persian,” but to know that I am BOTH.

What are your long-term goals and ambitions?

*I plan to release my first book in Spring or early Summer of 2014, “The Godlie Girl’s Guide to Living a Fabulous Fulfilled Life.” There are so many perceptions that because you become Christian and now love God, that your life has to be boring….WRONG! I’m having the time of my life!

*As the founder for Camp Girlie Girl, A Place for Girls and Their Moms ™, I would like to someday offer the camp to others throughout the country…but I’m taking one step at a time for now.

Merieta and participants from Camp Girlie Girl

Merieta and participants from Camp Girlie Girl

*I am looking forward to advancing my education by soon pursuing a Master’s in Business Administration and growing my personal brand as a Speaker, Singer and Social Media Consultant. To learn more about me and what I do, you can visit my website at MerietaBayati.com.

Xoxo and so much love!

Merieta Bayati - 3If you’d like to learn more about Merieta and connect with her, visit her on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Instagram or her blog Single Saved and Searching.

Stay tuned for a full profile on the Bayati Family!

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

All rights reserved. Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, Dallas, TX, USA. Photos used with permission.

 

 

 

What Can Mixed-Race People Teach Us About Love?

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Terra Ann and Ben 6So often when many people think of “interracial” couples, they think predominantly in terms of a combination of two races.

They think: Black and White, Asian and White, Latino and Black and any other combination of two you can think of.

An interracial pairing can be so much MORE than simply a combination of two races or ethnicities!

Today, we’re happy we get to highlight Benjamin and Terra Ann – two mixed-race people who, together compose a truly “Mixed Race” couple.

Terra Ann says, “A lot of people say “mixed” when they are only describing two races. And I, being true to myself, am really more than three-dimensional when it comes to having to check only “Caucasian” or “African American” in the boxes on a form. But I’m proud of my multi-racial ethnicity. It’s unique.”

Benjamin’s ethnicity is Scott-Irish, Cherokee Indian and German. Terra Ann’s Dad is African American, and her Mother is a combination of French, German, Black Dutch, Cherokee Indian and Irish.

How’s that for “Mixed??”

Terra Ann continues, “I may not have been around to see or speak with my great-great grandparents to know their history and stories. But it is shown through my blood. And that is great history that no one can take or make up.”

Benjamin and Terra Ann – two “Mixed Ordinary People Who Found Mixed Extraordinary Love!

Terra Ann and Ben

A Blended Family

We both live in Oklahoma. Ben is from Midwest City, Oklahoma and I grew up in Del City, Oklahoma. Both cities are literally 10 minutes apart, which makes it a little bizarre that we had never met until last October.

As of November 19th our relationship marks a year, even though at times it can seem longer. (I say that with a sweet smile.)

We both had children before we met. I have two full of energy and very sharp children; a daughter, Samera who is 6 and a son, Jre’Lyn who is 5 (his name is pronounced (Dre Lin).

Ben and Jre'Lyn at the couple's first family dinner at a restaurant

Ben and Jre’Lyn at the couple’s first family dinner at a restaurant

Ben has a very beautiful daughter that is the same age as my son. Both of my children adore Ben and he as well is in love with my children, and I love his daughter.

Ben and Samera at a friend's pool party

Ben and Samera at a friend’s pool party

How They Met

Ben and I met at a local dance bar in Midwest City. A mutual friend we had at the time asked me to go and stand in on her behalf at a bachelor/ bachelorette party she was hosting for a couple she knew. She was running late, so she called and asked me to play hostess until she got there. I obviously agreed. I’m very glad I did!

When I first saw Ben, yes, I could see he was a very attractive man; very fit. He was also a very boisterous individual. At first, that is where it stopped. I didn’t think twice about him and me ever becoming a couple. Plus I had no idea he was interested in me. A couple of weeks later he told me he liked me and was very interested in me. He was also very honest concerning where he wanted the relationship to go. I liked him, too – so we soon made it official and became a couple.

Ben and Terra Ann at their first date as a couple

Ben and Terra Ann at their first date as a couple

Defining Moments

My defining moment I knew I was in love with Ben was after we’d been together for five months. As we dated, I realized we are completely different in almost every way – which to me was a good thing, because I may not have been able to stay with him if he was too much like me in personality.

Despite our many differences our morals, goals, family values and beliefs are the same. We were hit with obstacles almost every step of the way, but really it has only brought us closer together.

Ben says the defining moment he knew he was in love with me came when he knew I was here for him and would not give up on him. Or judge him. I’m one of his biggest fans.

"Ben says the defining moment he knew he was in love with me came when he knew I was here for him and would not give up on him. Or judge him. I'm one of his biggest fans."

“Ben says the defining moment he knew he was in love with me came when he knew I was here for him and would not give up on him. Or judge him. I’m one of his biggest fans.”

What We Like About Each Other

What I absolutely like about Ben is his blunt honesty. Maybe it’s due from his experience from being in the military.  If you ever want to have the most accurate and honest opinion of something, Ben would be your guy. He is so diverse in conversation that his being honest makes it so refreshing to me. Our conversations are entertaining nonetheless. Of course there are other likable characteristics about him; that’s just the number one thing for me.

Ben says what he likes most about me is I’m altruistic for anyone and anything.

Through The Good Times – And The Bad 

Ben and I have been through a great deal of hardship, trials and tribulations, since being together. There have been people that have tried to come between us. Tear us apart. And have been jealous of our relationship.

Even when odds were against us we have stuck it out. Even though it was getting repetitive and tiresome we always have seen the “great’ in the two of us. Believed in each other. And we always have great communication. We make sure we are both on the same page.

It helps when you have family that sees you’re happy, and supports your love as well. We both had different backgrounds growing up. And for some reason what the two of us share is an exponential love. No matter what comes our way. We both value the love.

"Ben and I at a favorite bar we used to go too. It's special because it was our first photo together."

“Ben and I at a favorite bar we used to go too. It’s special because it was our first photo together.”

What A Mixed Race Couple Can Teach Us About Love

So, what can a mixed race couple teach us about love?

In Terra Ann’s words, “Love will fight. Love holds on, despite your background and history.”

A mixed-race couple can teach us that regardless of the simplicity or complexity of the mix, love is always a beautiful thing.

They teach us that with the proliferation of Swirling, soon, many couples will look and be composed of multiple ethnicities – just like Ben and Terra Ann.

They teach us that you can’t advocate Swirling and then turn around and make disparaging remarks about the mixed offspring that is produced.

Mixed Race people teach us if you love to Swirl, you have to love the mix, too.

Benjamin and Terra Ann Archer . . . Ordinary People . . . . Extraordinary Love.

Swirl on.

 

Join in the Fray: What’s your family history?

All rights reserved. All work is the copyright of the respective owner, otherwise copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, Dallas, TX, USA. Photos used with permission.