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The Swirl World

Celebrating and Elevating Black Women - mind, body, soul and spirit!


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How Do You Mend A Broken Heart? The Love Story Of Brad And Jamaica Miller – The Conclusion

April 30, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 3 Comments

For the past two weeks we have shared Part 1 and Part 2 of the story of Jamaica and Brad Miller, a military couple currently stationed in Louisiana.

Jamaica poured out her heart and shared her story with us – the good, the bad and the ugly. Some of her story we deemed too intimate and too personal to share via this medium, yet we’re honored and humbled Jamaica trusted us with her story and felt comfortable enough to let us peek into her experiences.

Jamaica left no stone unturned and hopes her story serves as an inspiration to other women.

Jamaica and Brad Miller_Wedding photo 2

Jamaica’s story is one of blood, sweat and a bucket load of tears. In many ways Jamaica is – no, was – a classic representation of a woman who stays in an abusive, dead-end relationship for far too long – and to her own detriment.

Thankfully, Jamaica was able to file for divorce and not only make a new start, but find a true and lasting love. Sadly, many women who flee physical, mental and emotionally abusive relationships are not as fortunate: Almost 1-million domestic violence incidents are reported each year (and if this is the number of reported incidents, can you imagine what the number would be if all incidents were reported???) [Source]

On average, 3 women and 1 man are murdered by their partner each day.

Each. Day.

 Ponder that fact as you read the concluding installment of Jamaica Miller’s story:

I filed for divorce again and moved out to my sister’s house. June came and I saw on Facebook that Brad would be returning to the states. I thought he would return to Kentucky and wondered how I would handle it, but he was sent to Louisiana.

I was happy for him and glad that he was back from his deployment safe and sound. I watched him on Facebook and noticed how women paid him compliments and obviously tried to get to know him. I had to admit that jealousy and other feelings were taking over me.

I prayed, Lord what is happening to me? I kept my distance but I knew in my heart this time I clearly wanted more.

The divorce was in process. I had signed my papers and was just waiting on my ex to sign his. Months passed by and still nothing. After much begging and pleading, he finally signed.

I didn’t immediately run to Brad. I talked to him from time to time but I kept my feelings hidden. Months passed and I heard nothing other than he was just enjoying his leave.

I continued to see pictures of him living, dating and enjoying life. Feeling unhappy, I finally expressed to him that I didn’t like it. He reminded me we were just friends. I thought, Oh ok, Jamaica – that’s all you wanted from day one, right? For him to be a friend?

Jamaica and Brad Miller_Brad

I kept praying, and asked the Lord if Brad was the man for me. I prayed that if there was anything ungodly in him that God would remove it from him, if he was the man He had for me.

By this time me and Brad’s conversations had only been on Facebook. I wanted to hear his voice but wasn’t ready to express I wanted more.

So you know the info tab that’s on Facebook? Well, it had his phone number so I saved it to my phone. It took me two weeks to actually use it! LOL!

I took a deep breath and texted, “Hello friend it’s Jamaica. I’m so glad you made it back safe. Be good, don’t break hearts.”

He texted me back and said, “I wouldn’t if you’ll just be my girl already! Stop telling me no – there’s nothing stopping you now.”

I laughed and said, Ok. We conversed and sent messages and acknowledged we had feelings – and now that we’d said it, long distance was in our way now.

At the end of August I got a message from Brad saying, “I’m coming to see you. I can’t take it anymore.” I said, “You’re kidding, right?”

He said, “Nope!”

I was nervous, not knowing if he’d be the same man behind the messages and conversations. On August 31 he texted me and said, “I’m outside.”

I froze a good 10 minutes before making it to the door. I went outside to his truck and we hugged, our smiles big as ever. The first thing he said was, “Do you have a bag I can use for my shoes? I kinda just through them in my truck – I was just ready to get to you!”

I laughed and said sure. We headed to my sister’s house. All I remember is him holding my hand the whole ride telling me I’m beautiful. I felt like a princess.

Jamaica and Brad Miller_Evening Wear

I knew this was my sunshine after the storm!!!!

He could only stay four days and by October we knew we wanted our relationship to go further. He asked me to move to Louisiana. He continued to say there wasn’t much there, but that he’d make it worth it for his family.

On Jan 29th he asked me to marry him! I started planning a small wedding. On February 2 he got baptized. We got married on February 14!

Jamaica and Brad Miller_Wedding photo - License

We asked, What was your defining moment – that moment when you each knew you were in love?

Jamaica’s response: The defining moment I knew I was in love was our first kiss. It lasted forever with him just holding me tight!!

Brad’s response: My defining moment was making two back-to-back trips to see Jamaica. I would never travel to see a woman – but she was worth it!

How did you families and friends respond to the news of your relationship? How did you handle it?

I’ve attached a picture of  a text message showing his Mom and Dad’s responses:Jamaica and Brad Miller - Parents Test Message

After we got married, Brad called his aunt. They all congratulated us.

When Brad came to town to see me that first time, we went to my sister’s house. My nieces and nephew ran to the door to meet him. My oldest sister just kept giving me that look and whispered, “He’s the one – keep him!” Lol! For my sister to say that, I knew I was on the right path.

Later my little sister came in town from Lexington.  We sat up and chatted for a while. She said, “I can tell you like him. I know he’s the one so take your time and I can’t wait to be in your wedding!” LOL

My Mom and Dad gave their seal of approval and welcomed Brad to the family. They asked him if his parents were ok with him dating outside his race  and he replied, “Yes – from the time I was born!” LOL

What do you like most about your mate?

Jamaica’s response: What I like most about my husband is his drive to go above and beyond for his family. Our daughter wanted to change the color of her dresser and put her new initial “M” on it – and he did just that.

Jamaica and Brad Miller_Selfie with Daughter

Brad’s response: What I like most about my wife is that she loves me no matter the trail of clothes I leave from the shower to the closet after pt! At first she fussed but now I just leave a note saying, Sorry, Hun I had to rush back to work to bring home the bacon. I LOVE YOU !!!

What advice would you give to others who are interested in dating/marrying interracially?

Our advice would be, Go for it! Love comes in all shades. Don’t be afraid and don’t worry about the dirty looks you get. The only thing that matters is the love you have for each other and how happy you are.

Most important don’t try to change each other, but enjoy the things that make you different. For the first time ever, I rode a horse for my husband. I was scared out my mind at first but I had fun! LOL

Jamaica and Brad Miller_Swim

For us, we know God doesn’t make mistakes. Make God the center In all you do!!!

So that’s us, the Millers. I hope our story touches others’ hearts, knowing that anything is possible!!!

If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, call the National Domestic HOTLINE at 1-800-799-7233 | 1-800-787-3224 (TTY) or visit TheHotline.org.

 Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com.

 Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved. Photos used with permission.

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Filed Under: BW/WM, OPEL, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black, Black women, Black. White, Brad, conversations, Facebook, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, interracial romance, Jamaica, Kentucky, leave, long distance, long distance relationship, long distance romance, Louisiana, love, Marriage, military, Miller, proposal, swirl, swirling, testing, text messages, texted, wedding, white

Meet Our Youngest Swirlers (They Started Dating At 16!)

March 24, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 3 Comments

One of the things we love most about The Swirl World is the fact that our Swirlers come in all shapes, sizes, ethnicities – and ages.

Some people start Swirling later in life, others claim they’ve been Swirling from the cradle (well, almost).

Today in our continuing series on “Extraordinary People . . . Extraordinary Love” we’re excited to introduce you to the youngest Swirlers we’ve profiled.

Meet Erika Ragans and Jeanpaul Font-ayala!

Erika and Jean 6

Where do you live?

We live in our home town of Jacksonville, Florida. Florida is my birthplace while Jean’s is Puerto Rico. We both go to school but I’m part time because of my full-time job. Jean is a fulltime student.

How long you have been together?

Jean and I are both 20. We’ve been dating 4 years.

Erika and Jean 1

How/where did you meet?

Jeanpaul and I met in high school.  He says he always had a crush on me but didn’t make a move until my boyfriend moved to Texas.

I love telling people about our first date because it was also the first time my Mother meet him. When she first saw Jean, she actually refused to let me go with him because he looked about 30 to her – we were both 15 at the time!

Erika and Jean 2

What was your defining moment – that moment when you each knew you were in love?

Erika: I knew I was in love with Jean when on vacation I wanted to go down to the pool for a quick swim. Jean agreed and we went, but after we got out of the water I realized Jean was covered in red bumps. Turns out his skin is really sensitive to changes in temperature so first the water, and then the cold air made him break out. He knew it would all along – he went swimming just because he knows I love to swim!

Erika and Jean 3

Jeanpaul: I fell in love when we were both standing in front of a mirror. I looked at her and thought, I want to be with her for a very long time.

How did you families and friends respond to the news of your relationship? How did you handle it?

Jean’s family had no real feeling about our relationship but later on when his mother saw how serious we were getting she got a little worried. My family wasn’t that shocked since I’ve never really dated someone my race.

What do you like most about your mate?

Jean: I love Erika’s personality and the fact that she’s willing to work through any of our problems.

Erika: The thing I love most about Jean is that he will always do his best to make me happy.

What advice would you give to others who are interested in dating/marrying interracially?

Our advice for people who want to date or marry someone who is a different race is this: forget skin color – just be with whoever makes you happy!

Erika and Jean 7

Erika and Jeanpaul – we’re happy you made that discovery at such a young age!

Swirl on.

 

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com.

 Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved. Photos used with permission.

 

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Filed Under: BW/WM, OPEL, Series, Special Tagged With: 15, 16, Black women, Black. White, dating, Florida, high school, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, Jacksonville, love, Mother, Puerto Rico, swirl, swirling, teenage, teenagers, teens, white, young

How To Meet Your Prince/Princess Without Kissing A Lot Of Frogs

March 19, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway Leave a Comment

We’ve all heard the saying: “You have to kiss a lot of frogs in order to find your Prince/Princess.”

FROG

While that saying may hold true for some and may even be the story of your life to this point, we in The Swirl World want you to take heart and ponder these questions:

What if finding true love didn’t have to be so hard?? What if there really ARE some good men and women out there who would make wonderful mate – and how in the world can I meet him/her?

Our Facebook page is On Fire with lots of great single men and women who have heard the same tired proverb, and are asking themselves the very same questions.

They’re attractive, smart, well-adjusted and possess many good character traits.

They’re not loony and they’re not cray-cray.

Insane man in a straitjacket

Stalking? They’re not about that life.

They’re also not lazy, trifling, good-for-nothing or looking for a free ride.

Their intent is to “do no harm” and give 100% to a relationship.

They want to do someone good, and not evil, all the days of his/her life.

They want to be in a relationship for the long haul. 

If you’re interested in a booty call, cat-fishing or a fly-by-night relationship, YOU’VE GOT THE WRONG ONE, BABY.

attractive caucasian man shot in studio

 

They simply want a chance to love – and be loved.

If this sounds like you, then The Swirl World is where you need to be.

Starting tomorrow, we’re going to present some Swirling “Princes and Princesses” who may just be the person who qualifies as “Your Last First Kiss.” 

***************************DISCLAIMER*****************************

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If we profile someone you take a fancy to and you connect with them, will you still have to vet him/her??

OF. COURSE. YOU. WILL!

OF. COURSE. YOU. WILL!

OF. COURSE. YOU. WILL!

(And just in case you didn’t know it, OF. COURSE. YOU. WILL!)

This is Adrienne and Me - giving you major side eye.

This is Adrienne and Me – giving you major side eye.

Yes, YOU will still have to get to know a person, Yes, YOU will still have to vet, vet, vet – and VET AGAIN.

Presenting people is on us – VETTING IS  ON YOU.

This bears repeating:

Yes, YOU will still have to get to know a person, Yes, YOU will still have to vet, vet, vet – and VET AGAIN.

Presenting people is on us – VETTING IS ON YOU. 

And just in case you need a crash course on vetting, we very happily refer you to the Queen of Vetting herself, Mrs. Eugenia Berg, a.k.a. “Married Girl In A Weird World.” 

(We’re happy to report that Mrs. Berg and her loving hubby are now expecting TWINS! Woot Woot!)  

Mrs. Berg was kind enough to supply free coaching information on vetting on her blog.

Whether you believe you know how to properly vet or not, If you have any brains at all, you will thank the good Lord for Eugenia’s free advice and give a listen here, here and here.   

So now, on the subject of vetting: Have we made ourselves perfectly clear?

Ok; by the look on your face, we have made ourselves PERFECTLY clear.

Ok; by the look on your face, we have made ourselves PERFECTLY clear.

 If we have, stay tuned. Our first “Swirling Single” will be presented tomorrow!

Till then, Swirl On.

Join in the Fray: Are you a Prince/Princess – or a Frog?

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com.

 Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

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Filed Under: Announcements, Series, Special, Swirling Singles Tagged With: Black women, Black. White, cray-cray, crazy, date, dating, Eugenia Berg, Frog, interracial, interracial dating, interracial relationships, interracial romance, Kiss, Married Girl in a Weird World, prince, Prince Charming, princess, Relationships, side eye, stalk, stalker, stalking, swirl, vet, vetted, vetting, white

Mondays With Mike: Why I Celebrate Black Women In Poetry (Part 2)

March 17, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 2 Comments

So last week on Mondays With Mike, our favorite Aussie shared a beautiful poem penned to (and for) his muse, @MissLJay20.

Mike's Muse

Today, Mike gives us the details on why he celebrates Black Women in poetry (and is inspired by his Muse):

Why I Celebrate Black Women In Poetry

All artists need a Muse, a source of inspiration, something which sets their spirits aflame, ignites their senses. Something to make them feel that if they don’t attempt to honour that beauty and majesty their soul will burst from trying to keep it all in.

It may seem strange but it’s just the way my Muse works. I don’t think I am alone in feeling like this. I think it’s the soul of all creativity.

Why Black Women In Particular?

So what is it that makes me filled with inspiration to write poetry for Black Women? Why Black Women in particular? Because my Muse moves when I see Black Women, when I hear them, when I appreciate them on all levels, I am always entranced.

I have to celebrate Black Women; my Muse guides my hands in doing so, and I love being able to communicate what I feel in what I write. If I wish to write and write well, I need my source of inspiration, and my Muse requires her due, which I am more than willing to give.

MissLJay20 7

Luckily this has been easy of late. My Muse is beautiful, gives me so much inspiration to write, so much passion and energy that sometimes I don’t know if I will ever be able to pay it back in kind. I try my best and I am forever grateful for the gifts bestowed.

MISSLJAY20 4

And Now, My Heart Is Open

I once thought that I should guard myself closely, be closed off and wary, worried of possible heartaches and troubles, but I am now looking more and more towards being open-hearted and looking for the possible in all things, to be thankful in finding it, and rejoicing in the happiness of it.

I won’t question why I should be so lucky so I don’t spoil it, but instead be gracious, thankful and appreciative in having received it, and trying my best to honour the gift I have been given.

And that is what has inspired my latest poem, and I hope it conveys that as best as can be said.

Cheers!

 

We have to say, @MissLJay20 is a beautiful Black Woman – and Mike is blessed to have her as his Muse!

Join in the Fray: Who or what inspires YOU?

MIKE M - THIS ONEGot a question for Mike? Send it to us via inbox on The Swirl World’s Facebook page or by email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Follow Mike on Twitter @500and50 read his blog at 500and50.com, or message him on his 500and50 Facebook page.

 

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

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Filed Under: BW/WM, Mondays With Mike, Series, Uncategorized Tagged With: Aussie, Australian, Black women, Black. White, creative, creativity, dating, inspiration, inspire, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, love, Mike, Mondays With Mike, muse, poem, poetry, swirl, swirling, Twitter, white

Mondays With Mike: “Why I Celebrate Black Women In Poetry “

March 10, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway Leave a Comment

Mondays With Mike is BACK!

Our guy Mike in Australia has been on a bit of a hiatus since he took a new job. He’s a sensitive soul, Mike is, and he’s a poet.

His muse is a beautiful Black Woman whose Twitter handle is @MissLJay20.

Mike's Muse

Mike wrote a poem for her and shared it with us:

Just one word and I’m over the edge,
Falling from the walls of isolation,
Into the abyss so open and inviting,
Calling your name on the spiral down.

I once held on for dear life to it,
Clutching my fears with bloodied fingers,
Bruised and scraped my way to a higher loft,
And saw to lock myself away in a gilded cage.

But the merest whispers of your words sang,
And the locks and chains broke away,
So easily the walls did fall,
Did they even exist?

So now I descend freely into the space,
And a song of a thousand voices bear me aloft,
To fall with the weight of a feather,
Burning heart into the arms of an Angel.

We love it!

Stay tuned; next week in Part 2, Mike goes into detail about why he celebrates Black Women in his poetry.

MIKE M - THIS ONEGot a question for Mike? Send it to us via inbox on The Swirl World’s Facebook page or by email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Follow Mike on Twitter @500and50 read his blog at 500and50.com, or message him on his 500and50 Facebook page.

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

 

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Filed Under: Mondays With Mike, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: @MissLJ20, Australia, Australian men, Black women, Black. White, celebrate, celebration, dating, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, interracial romance, Mondays With Mike, muse, Perth, poem, poetry, swirl, swirling, white

What Do Australian Men Think Of Black Women And Beauty?

February 10, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 3 Comments

cropped black woman faceThis week’s question on Monday’s With Mike addresses the opinion of Australian men concerning the beauty of Black Women.

“Black Women are constantly bombarded with preset definitions of “beauty” and in many cases criticized for their looks by men of the same ethnicity. What makes a Black Woman attractive/appealing to you in particular, and to Australian men in general?”

Mike’s response:

It’s kind of hard to describe why you feel the attraction to a particular person or people, or describe why you have a type you prefer.

I guess for me it’s something I feel in the marrow of my bones, just an attraction I have always had. If you wanted to go into specifics I think it is likely to do with how whenever I see Black Women, it seems like there is an inner light radiating out of them. I see it come through their eyes and skin, and it’s just beautiful.

It’s also the way they hold themselves; their style and grace. Also, they know how to hold a great conversation I’ve found, and have some excellent perspectives on life different to my own – which is great as it helps me see things in a different light.

For Australian men I think those who want to date BW usually would feel similar; love a BW’s special style of beauty and grace, as well as the fact that you’re different, stand out, and are exotic and mysterious. Men love that, they love to follow and find out things about people from different places, especially Australians as we’re all stuck down here on this massive island with no way to get out except via boat or plane! If you come to us, we’re just that much happier!

Cheers!

MIKE M - THIS ONEGot a question for Mike? Send it to us via inbox on The Swirl World’s Facebook page or by email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Follow Mike on Twitter @500and50 and read his blog at 500and50.com, or message him on his 500and50 Facebook page.

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

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Filed Under: Mondays With Mike, Uncategorized Tagged With: appeal, appealing, attractive, attractiveness, Australia, Australian men, beautiful, beauty, Black women, Black. White, dating, exotic, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, interracial romance, love, Marriage, mysterious, swirl, swirling, white

Can A Black Woman Find A HUSBAND In Australia?

February 3, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 2 Comments

Mondays With Mike has been on a brief hiatus while our long-haired Aussie battled a combination of sinus, allergies and the blazing Australian heat.

(Yes, with the U.S. grappling with a Polar Vortex, Mike and other Australians have been baking in a heat wave. Go figure!)

We received this question in our inbox and forwarded it to Mike: 

coupleWhat would be your opinion on how an American Black Woman would fare in your country? Our ladies want to get married, they do not want just a boyfriend, they want a husband. They want children with the father’s last name and a man who wants to love and protect them. They want the traditional provider, with the caveat that she will move heaven and earth to assist and love the man she is with.

 

Mike’s response:

How would an American Black Woman fare in Australia?

This is a difficult one to answer. It comes down to a variety of reasons. First of all it’s not a cheap place to visit, especially at the moment. That can hamper things quite a bit, as a lot of guys really do want to meet people before they commit to someone.

On the other hand, that shouldn’t stop people. Meeting and chatting via the internet can be a good meeting method, and lead to people traveling to meet in other countries.

Coming over here not having made contact with any Australians beforehand and looking for love is a much riskier prospect, as it would be both expensive, and not always guaranteed to end up in a relationship that leads to marriage.

I’d recommend the former – to make contact via website and go from there. Skype is free, email is cheap, so it’s not hard to go from there.

A Husband – Not Just A Boyfriend

As for wanting husbands instead of just boyfriends, that can be a whole different kettle of fish.

I think it’s likely to be the same everywhere. Some people just want a relationship; others are ready, right now, to commit. I would like to think that Aussie men will do people right, and be forthright with their intentions, but this is not always the case.

I’d say if you do the groundwork and find someone you can connect with, and feelings develop, take the leap. If you’re genuine and want someone to spend your life with, and think you have found that, it’s very reassuring for men.

I think Australian men like women from the U.S. a lot as they’re less ‘flakey’ than Aussie girls can be sometimes. And from what I have heard is that Black Women are very loyal to their men, and that is always something which is good to know as well, as a lot of guys over here worry about how long a term their marriage will be.

Men In Australia

There are a lot of guys who see themselves as the provider type, but as the economies change, it’s often that both partners in the relationship will work.

Urban professionals would likely be the more likely target, as they are more likely to have a well-paying job, regular working hours, and be home most nights of the week and weekends.

This means most major cities, with more of focus on eastern coast cities of Melbourne and Sydney, or if he works for the government, Canberra.

In Perth most of the work focus is towards the mining and gas industry which is located in the state.

Of course every man is different, and there is a host of different jobs that need to be done, so I can’t exactly predict who the best person to go for is.

There are plenty of blokes who love sports, love going out to pubs and clubs to hang out and talk with friends (taking their wives and girlfriends with them), and enjoy a lot of outdoor activities.

We’re all different, so I can’t really pin point a guy down. It’s usually pretty easy to determine who is insincere and who isn’t. Talk about marriage and you find out pretty quickly I find!

Cheers!

Join in the Fray: How far are you willing to travel for love?

Mike MFollow Mike on Twitter @500and50 and read his blog at 500and50.com, or message him on his 500and50 Facebook page.

Got a question for Mike? Send it to us via inbox on The Swirl World’s Facebook page or by email  to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

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Filed Under: Mondays With Mike, Uncategorized Tagged With: Australia, Black women, Black. White, dating, heat, heat wave, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, interracial romance, Mike, Mondays With Mike, Perth, Polar Vortex, swirling, Sydney, white

Swirling, Persian Style – In Mississippi!

January 22, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 5 Comments

Last week we brought you the lovely Merieta Bayati, the product of a “Persian Swirl.”

Her father Masoud is Persian and her mother Sylvia is Black. Merieta shared with us what life was like growing up as the mixed race daughter of a Persian father and a Black mother – in Jackson, Mississippi.

We first met the Bayati’s in The Swirl World on Facebook after Merieta was kind enough to share a gorgeous family photo. The Bayati’s are beyond beautiful, not only in appearance but especially because they represent a loving and cohesive family unit.

Of course we were beyond excited at the prospect of obtaining the back story on a “Persian Swirl,” so we asked Merieta if her parents would agree to an interview.  Thankfully,  they said yes and Mr. and Mrs. Bayati were gracious enough to consent to answering our many questions about what Swirling, Persian Style – is like.

(Make sure you read their complete profile – we have a surprise at the end!)

With great joy and pride, The Swirl World presents Mr. Masoud and Mrs. Sylvia Bayati!

 Masoud and Sylvia Bayati

Where do you live? 

We live on ten beautiful acres where deer roam occasionally; squirrels are in motion constantly throughout the yard and a variety of birds singing to their own tune in Jackson, Mississippi.

How long you have been together?

We are blessed to be together thirty-five years as of September 1, 2013.

What are the names and ages of your children and grandchildren?

We have three daughters and one son: Merieta-30, Myron-27, Milan-25 and Mitra-24.

Masoud and Sylvia Bayati - Kids

Two granddaughters include: Mariah-4, Malayah-11 months and two grandsons:  Trenton-7 and Damian-5 years old.

Merieta Bayati - Family

How did you meet?

Sylvia says, “Our first encounter was on the first floor of the library at the university that we attended and future encounters were made in the building where Masoud had engineering classes. I was a business major.”

What was your defining moment – that moment when you each knew you were in love?

Sylvia: After three months of a whirlwind summer romance, I prayed and talked to God about him. Mesmerized by him, my heart knew I wanted to spend my golden years with my now husband, Masoud.

Masoud: The thought of her not being with me when she had to go home and being excited to see her every day and evening was my sign of committing to her forever. In later years, engraving the words: My heart belongs only to Sylvia. 

How did you families and friends respond to the news of your relationship? 

Sylvia: My mother was not pleased about me marrying outside my race in the beginning but, my father would say, “Go ahead and let them marry.” Eventually, my mom grew to love him! There were lots of stares from all races in the beginning years. Remarks such as “A white man marrying a black woman?? We’ll see how long that will last.” The Caucasian judge who performed our wedding stated, “Come and see me if he acts up.”

Masoud: My parents hated the fact that I married a Black woman. It was unacceptable to them, but I married the woman I knew would make me happy forever. Even as years went by, they were still very bitter over our relationship. I loved my parents to death, but I had to do what would make me happy and I never looked back. 

What do you like most about your mate? 

Sylvia: What I like most about my mate is that he is a “can-do” and a “take-charge” type man. God has blessed his hands and he can fix mostly anything he puts his hands to. I can travel from the east coast to the west coast by car, plane or whatever and feel safe. The car can break down in the desert or snow and he takes charge in fixing it.

Masoud: My wife’s patience and not nagging even when it was warranted due to long working hours. Her writing a relationship book to bring balance in not only our marriage, but other marriages and relationships as well.  Her unselfishness and caring and faith to bring positivity in the lives of others are what I like most about my wife. We talk things through and listen to each other; appreciate, validate and respect one another.

What advice would you give to others? 

Because finances play a big role in breakups, stay out of debt as much as possible and don’t live above your means. Become great friends. If you can remember that you’re a team and during the difficult times, recollect what drew you to your precious mate in the first place, that certainly helps.

Pray, keep the faith and things will work out for your good. Nothing is more important than family, great friends when you find them, and good health.

My husband still tells our children a funny story about our relationship to this day: “Your mom could not walk straight without running her hands along the fence and she thought she was doing it to be cute, but I thought she was retarded! Somehow I still loved her and eventually we got married!”

Our children fall on floor laughing. These are the small things in our family that become priceless.

Thank you for taking the time to get to know us and our family.

Many Blessings,

Masoud & Sylvia Bayati

Editor’s Note: Sylvia Bayati is also an author! If your relationship has gotten into a rut, maybe Sylvia’s new book, The Sexless Marriage: A Relationship Guide can help you get back on track! It’s available for purchase on Amazon.

—–>Join in the Fray: As a special treat to our readers: Post a comment or question below to enter a random drawing for a free copy of Sylvia’s book!<—–

 

 

ASG 191 x 200 ASwirlGirl

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

All rights reserved. Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, Dallas, TX, USA. Photos used with permission.

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Filed Under: Mixed Race, OPEL, Prizes & Giveaways, Special Tagged With: Amazon, author, Bayati, Black women, Black. White, book, couples, dating, Family, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, interracial romance, Jackson, Marriage, Merieta, Mississippi, mixed race, Persian, Relationships, sexless, swirling, white

THIS Is What Happens When A Man Loves A Woman

January 8, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 2 Comments

What happens when a man loves a woman?

I believe we’ve found a good example in our first couple of 2014.

Meet Stephen and Raquel Davidson. We’re delighted to present their profile for a couple of reasons.

First, we’re delighted because it’s an honor and privilege to spotlight a couple in the armed forces. Stephen and Raquel are both in the Army. Woot Woot!

STEVEN AND RAQUEL 2 - Military

We’re also especially delighted to feature this couple because their profile was filled out by Stephen.

Don’t you just LOVE it when a man loves his woman and wants to share his story??

Stephen says:

“We are currently long distance because I am deployed to Afghanistan and she lives in MN. We have been together for 7 months but have known each other for almost 3 years and never dated because of the distance and the nature of our jobs in both being in the Army. We don’t have any kids, but they are in the future.

First time we met was in 2011 during a Military training class. I came up to her and said: “Hi” and asked for her number, not thinking much of it as well as her. I had always liked her and always talked to her every chance I got whether I was thousands of miles away overseas or a few states away.

Finally this summer we decided to give it a try and it has been the best thing, and I kick myself in the head for waiting such a long time.

What I like most about her is her brown eyes, her curly long hair, how she understands the lifestyle and how she brings me down to earth when I am way up there in space. Also her butt. LOL!”

STEVEN AND RAQUEL 1 - Poolside

Stephen continues:

“My advice to others; communication is key, Don’t do long distance unless both of you are in the same path working towards one goal.

You can love whoever you want; never let anyone tell you different and if they do, whether they are friends or family, even if it hurts, stay away from them. Your happiness is first.”

Raquel’s advice?

“My advice is that you should love whomever, whenever! At first I was iffy because dating a white man can be intimidating especially with the other person’s family and they don’t understand the struggle (combing curly hair, tanning easily, etc.) so finding someone understanding of those things as well as the family is heaven! Happiness is what matters; no one should dictate who you love!”

STEPHEN AND RAQUEL - Poolside 2

Stephen and Raquel, we couldn’t agree with you more!

A special thanks to Stephen, Raquel and all our men and women who serve around the world. Let’s send lots of love and prayers Stephen’s way as he serves during his deployment in Afghanistan.

STEVEN AND RAQUEL - Military 2

Join in the Fray: How do you know when a man loves a woman?

All rights reserved. Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, Dallas, TX, USA. Photos used with permission. 

Want to be profiled here? Inbox us on Facebook or send an email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

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Filed Under: BW/WM, OPEL Tagged With: active duty, Army, Black women, Black. White, dating, deployed, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, interracial romance, military, swirling, white

Is A Baby In Mike’s Future??

December 9, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 4 Comments

big camera hides mans faceLast week we kicked off our Mondays With Mike series and introduced you to writer and blogger Michael Miocevich (My-oh-see-vitch), a native of Western Australia who is now our guide to Swirling in Australia.

(Mike also lends us his brain and lets us pick it at will).

In his first post Mike received three questions, one of which was to tell his idea of a fun date.

Whelp, Mike’s response generated this follow-up question from a fan on our Facebook page:

“I wonder how Mike feels about women with children?  Is that deal breaker? It seemed like his perfect date would be for a women with no children and free time to spend a whole day (not knocking it but I have two boys who come first). I just wonder if this isn’t even considered when looking for a mate . . .  Sorry I’m soap boxing :: steps down::”

This is quite a legitimate question, particularly because dating with children is a reality for millions of singles. I forwarded the question to Mike as fast as my little fingers could type it.

So, hmm . . . . Is a baby in Mike’s future?? What followed is Part 1 of his very thoughtful response:

CRYING BABY BOY 1

“This can be an interesting but also sometimes a hard topic to talk about. Some men can be rather apprehensive, as often while they can relate to the woman they are dating, they might feel a gulf between them and her children. This is more a psychological barrier than anything. The man doesn’t know exactly what role he should play, and also might worry about the notion that he might be seen as someone who is supplanting the child’s biological father. This can be rather conflicting, and I have seen marriages being broken up early due to the intervention of kids vs their parents new husband/wife. I have seen this both in relationships of divorced men and divorced women, so there is no finger of blame being pointed here. If this is noticed early on, with the children not getting along with the new partner, it really does need to be addressed as soon as possible.

Other times it can be the wrong thought for men that if they were to date a woman who has children from another relationship, that immediately they would be expected to provide for those children as well, when what they want is freedom and fun to develop a relationship with someone who is unattached or has no children. This is a rather selfish way to go through things in life, always wondering what people are trying to get from you. Often the women who these men could date and have children already are quite used to providing for their children, and aren’t expecting their new beau to walk in and be immediately put on the spot for financial help. It would be my hope that if a person did date and fall in love with someone who has children, that they would offer to help out as a gesture of love. It says he cares for you and your children, even though they aren’t his biologically. A man is going to have to face up to this eventually, so if he doesn’t think he can manage it, he’s better off not stringing someone along, thinking that he’ll eventually come around to it.

So where do I stand in all of this? I’m 38, so I am kind of on the fence in regards to starting a family with someone I meet. On the one hand I might have left it too long, as I’d like to be the kind of guy who spends times with his children and is active with them, rather than being too tired after working to do so, and leave them to be raised by the TV. On the other hand, who says that this should be the case? If I were to meet the right person, why couldn’t my life be structured to have a decent job, but time available to spend with my wife and children? These are questions that can really only be properly sorted out once I have met that special person who is right for me. It’s got to be a joint decision. Trying to plan out things exactly how you want them to happen is an exercise in futility. Better to have broad plans that move you forward and are able to accommodate any curve balls thrown your way.

As for dating women who already have children, I don’t see why not! If we are lucky enough to make a connection with someone who excites us, challenges us, is great to be with and who you don’t know if you could be without, I don’t see why them having children would be such a barrier to having a relationship with them. The above preconception is something a lot of people automatically make as they have no experience of such situations. I would be prone to them myself as I have only dated women who were previously single and without children. To be honest perhaps I was too limited in my view of what a fun date would be because of it. Another limitation is that my place isn’t that huge, so dating a woman who has children and is looking to emigrate to Australia might be a touch difficult as I don’t have a lot of space for more than one other person. This is likely to be something which changes in the future, but at the moment it is likely to be a factor. However, as with all things, any problems will have a solution.

In which case a date with a women who has children might involve a day at the museum (the American Museum of Natural History is absolutely fantastic and I could have spent days there when I was in NYC) or a visit to a park for a picnic. If we go to a park I am going to have to pack a cricket bat and ball so we can have a hit before lunch (yes, I am going to hold on to my Australian sporting identity darnit!). A nice lunch and a walk around the park while the kids go roughhousing nearby. Pack it all up and head to the movies (at a cinema or at home) for something light-hearted and pants-wettingly funny, or even do so at home on the couch. If I have been dating the woman for some time, then reading the kids a story before bedtime, or even make up one of my own for them would be really cool. Then the rest of the evening can be spent talking and being together on the couch, conversations of everything and nothing, and sweet kisses before parting.”

Stay tuned for Part 2, where Mike gives us insight into what a man thinks when he considers dating a woman with children.

MIKE MIOCEVICHGot questions for Mike? Send them to us via inbox on Facebook or email them to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Follow Mike on Twitter @500and50, read his blog at 500and50.com, or message him on Facebook.

Join in the Fray: What are your thoughts on dating someone with children?

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

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Filed Under: Mondays With Mike, Special Tagged With: Australia, babies, baby, Black women, Black. White, Blog, blogger, child, children, dating, deal breaker, Facebook, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, love, Michael, Michael Miocevich, Mondays With Mike, swirling, Western Australia, white

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I’m Michelle Matthews-Calloway, and I’m A Swirl Girl! Greetings to you from The Swirl World. We encourage Black women to expand their relationship options by dating and marrying interracially. Our overarching mission is to see Black Women live their best life. Come Swirl with us in The Swirl World™, where we celebrate Black women and the diverse men who love us!™

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