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The Swirl World

Celebrating and Elevating Black Women - mind, body, soul and spirit!


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Date Smarter – Not Harder!

January 16, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 2 Comments

Woman given roses

Yesterday our Admin ~all posted an interesting question over on The Swirl World’s Facebook page.

(By the way, if you haven’t visited or “Liked” our page, you’re missing out on a treat: Lots of lively discussions, informative posts celebrating people of color, and spotlights on the fans. What? You’re not over there yet? What are you waiting for???)

This is the question that ~all posed:

Hi Swirlers,
Would like your insight. Some of you have tried or met through on-line dating sites. Some of you have been successful and some have not, so without naming any names of sites, give some helpful pointers? ~all

A number of people – guys and gals – weighed in on the question by sharing their views and relaying what they had encountered. Some of the accounts were positive; others, not so much. Reading the thread made me think not only of my own dating experiences, but also the practical advice I give to those who decide to try online dating:

Just remember that he (or she) should be very willing to come out from behind the computer and MEET YOU IN PERSON. Ladies, if he lives in another city, let him come to visit YOU FIRST. A man should be willing to make an effort to meet/get to know you – HE should be the pursuer, NOT you. Don’t act/be thirsty and desperate! Meet at a neutral place; no way should you go to someone’s home or they to yours until you are thoroughly comfortable and some guidelines/boundaries have been established (as well as a relationship). He/she should not meet your children until you have an established RELATIONSHIP and you have vetted, vetted, and VETTED SOME MORE. Be observant and listen to your instincts; if something feels “off” or “not quite right,” it probably isn’t.

I know this advice may seem “old-fashioned” to some of you in this modern age, but this is my advice and I’m sticking to it. I’ve seen far too many people (especially women) make foolish mistakes and sometimes suffer HEARTBREAKING consequences when they didn’t. I wish everybody well and want all of us to be successful in relationships and love. Peace and blessings! ~ASwirlGirl

Call me old-fashioned if you like, but I’ve heard far too many horror stories from women who were too accommodating, or failed to use plain common sense. I can’t stress enough how important it is to vet a potential suitor. Bohemian blogger Dee Dee Russell, creator of the Black Women With Other Brothers Facebook page and blog, makes a very strong case for the importance of vetting in her post Black Women With Other Brothers: The Five Basic Swirling Rules I’ve Learned. YouTube vlogger Eugenia Berg, who also blogs at Married Girl in a Weird World, extensively discusses online dating and vetting, part one and part two.

Information abounds for the smart, savvy woman (or man) who wants to successfully navigate online (and offline line) dating. What every woman – and Black women in particular – needs to remember is that no prospect should be exempt from a good, thorough vetting. Regardless of ethnicity, men are men (and women are women), and nobody should get an automatic pass based on something as superficial as race.

Be wary of “Catfish” and what Dee Dee Russell calls “Keyboard Romeos.” I can’t say it enough: Vet, vet, vet and then vet again.

The choice is always yours – you can date smarter, or date harder.

Join in the Fray: What dating smarter or vetting tips can you share?

I’m blogging every day in the month of January in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl, All rights reserved.

 

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Filed Under: NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black, Black women, Black. White, date, dating, dating pointers, dating tips, interracial, interracial dating, interracial dating options, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, NaBloPoMo, smart, swirling, vetting

“All My Babies’ Mamas” – NOT!

January 15, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 2 Comments

GARBAGE 2

Garbage in, garbage out.

Words can’t express how PLEASED I am  to read that an upcoming reality show “All My Babies’ Mamas” will not be aired.

I’m sure you’re already heard the premise for this beyond disgusting “show” (and “show” is an understatement!). The “show” intended to cover the life of crapper rapper Shawty Lo, his 11 children, and their 10 mothers.

o_O

That’s all the space I’m going to give to describing that garbage.

Any who, thank goodness the public outcry, coupled with a petition holding approximately 40,000 signatures (mine included), was enough to slay this beast.

Allison Samuels of The Daily Beast provides the details here.

 

Join in the Fray: Do you watch “reality TV” shows?

I’m blogging every day in the month of January in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl, All rights reserved.

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Filed Under: Announcements, NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black, Black. White, BlogHer, children, exploit, exploitation, garbage, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, kids, NaBloPoMo, Oxygen, reality television, reality tv, Shawty Lo, swirling, trash, unwed, wedlock

Meet Interracial/Paranormal Romance Writer, Cora Blu!

January 14, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 2 Comments

Romance author Cora Blu

Cora Blu lives in the beautiful state of Michigan with her husband, three girls and German Shepard. She married the man who promised to marry her when he was five; she now lives with her romantic hero everyday.

Cora says:

I enjoy writing interracial and multi-cultural romance. My Paranormal Fantasy Series is for those who like a little water with their romance.

When not writing which is next to never, I garden, cook and try to keep up with my family.

My Midnight Moaning Collection is a selection of Interracial Contemporary Romance stories. My Brothers of Element Series is based under water. Being fascinated with Jacque Cousteau as a little girl, I’ve always wanted to live below the ocean – and what’s sexier than a tiger shark as the hero?

These are the journeys of six tiger-shark shifter brothers covering the five main bodies of water around the world. Faced with the responsibility of keeping their source of shifting alive, the brothers  also keep the ocean from walking on land and the land from swimming beneath the currents. Tsunamis and Earthquakes don’t just happen! The series incorporates sensual romance with a bit of underwater life thrown in the mix. The six brothers are saving the oceans – one woman at a time.

NOTE: Both the Series and the Collection are for an adult audience.

Cora’s most recent Contemporary novel, The Man He’ll Never Be, is a family saga filled with drama and available for purchase on Amazon.

 From The Man He’ll Never Be:

In every family there are three relatives that show up unannounced. Secret, who gave birth to Lie. Lie, whose memory changes with the time of day. And Truth, whom you never leave alone with Secret. 

~~~Seven thirty am~~~

“Marlena Aishling Morgan–go home–my personal life is none of your concern. And Connor‘s death was twenty years ago–time to let it go,” Patrick groaned, snatching up the lacy bra and duffle bag, then pounded up the back stairs. Lena stood, lipstick case clutched to her chest, the wood stairs creaking under Patrick’s muscled physique. Scrubbing his red whiskers, he relaxed his body, then turned to look his daughter.

The gold case hit the kitchen table, then rolled off the backside. “Daddy…if this woman is okay being your dirty little secret then fine, stick her in the closest for all I care, but I have a right to know who killed my father,” Lena blurted out and watched pain redden his rugged features. The hurt look on Patrick’s face drew her up the stairs, into his embrace, his little girl all over again. “Daddy…I love you…I care what happens to you.” She tilted her face to look at him. “If she makes you happy don’t do to her what Richard did to me. True love comes around once and it looks like you get a second chance. My true love left before I even knew how much I loved him.”

Cora Blu is a member of The Swirl World on Facebook.

Join in the Fray: Do you read interracial romances? Paranormal fiction?

I’m blogging every day in the month of January in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl, All rights reserved.

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Filed Under: Guest Blog, NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black, Black women, Black. White, BlogHer, contemporary romance, Cora Blu, German Shepherd, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, interracial romance, NaBloPoMo, paranormal, paranormal fiction, shape shifter, swirling, The Swirl World, tiger shark

It’s Our Anniversary!

January 13, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 4 Comments

100 years ago today, 22 women at Howard University founded the Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc.

Photo courtesy of Centennial Treasures

I’m proud and happy to say that I am a member of this illustrious sorority.

Along with 16 other young women, I pledged at the Beta Alpha Chapter, on the campus of Florida A & M University (go Rattlers!). Because of the influence of two of my teachers, I left for college fully intending to pledge a different sorority – the pink and green one. 

However, when I arrived at FAMU, the Deltas were holding voter registration drives, health fairs, visiting orphanages and nursing homes, painting the houses of senior citizens, volunteering as drivers for Meals on Wheels, and a multitude of other community service projects. These young women were engaged in the activities that spoke to my heart. They were involved in their community, and more important, they were making a difference. They were bold and fearless. 

In contrast, the pink and green sorority’s level of community engagement was negligible.

Little did I know at the time, the very things that attracted me to Delta Sigma Theta (and turned me off from  the pink and green one) reflect the basis of why the sorority was founded:

The genesis of Delta, and the root of the AKA-Delta rivalry, was on Oct. 11, 1912, when 22 women were initiated into AKA, then the only black women’s sorority. Of those 22, seven were elected officers, including Myra Davis Hemmings, who became chapter president. Almost immediately after taking office, the newcomers voiced their displeasure with the direction the organization was heading.

They thought AKA was too focused on social activities instead of social activism. They voted to reconstruct AKA from within — the name, colors, symbols, everything had to go, they said. AKA incorporator Nellie Quander rejected this notion and gave the women a deadline to end their plans. Instead, the 22 decided to separate and formed Delta Sigma Theta. (Source: The Washington Post)

Don’t get me wrong; I have respect for all sororities and their members. Delta Sigma Theta is the sorority that had a mission that spoke to me – and I’ve been wearing crimson and cream ever since.   

Today’s Founder’s Day festivities included ecumenical services at churches across the country. I was especially blessed today because my Alumane Chapter held its services at the Greater Mt. Zion Baptist church, pastored by none other than my brother. 

Some of the highlights from the church service:

Crowley Alumnae Chapter President Soror Cynthia Dominick addresses the congregation

Delta Sigma Theta Crowley Alumnae Chapter President Cynthia Dominick and Rev. Keith Matthews, Pastor of Greater Mt. Zion Baptist Church

 

First Lady Annie L. Matthews, Soror Dominick, and Rev. Keith Matthews

After church, it was time to have some fun:

Some of the Crowley Alumnae Chapter Sorors gather at Fezzo’s Seafood and Steakhouse Restaurant

All in all, today was a wonderful day. I look forward to attending the 51st National Convention in Washington, DC, in July.

(Pssst! Wanna see a vintage photo from when I pledged?)

Join in the Fray: Are you in a sorority or fraternity? If so, give it a shout out!

I’m blogging every day in the month of January in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl, All rights reserved.

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Filed Under: Announcements, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: AKA, Black, Black. White, BlogHer, community, community service, crimson and cream, dating, Delta Sigma Theta, DST, fraternity, health fair, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, NaBloPoMo, nursing home, orphanage, pledge, sorority, swirling

How I’m Doing (Random)

January 12, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 2 Comments

Ever get to a place in certain situations and you realize that what happened is no longer important?

A random thought crossed my mind last night. When the thought hit, I paused, then mentally said, “Huh!”

I realized that the thought was random, and what made it random was the fact that it referenced a situation that was no longer uppermost in my mind.

Not only that, the situation had not been on the forefront of my thoughts for a very long time.

And now, something that was once sooooo important – was random.

Huh!

How ’bout that?

No, what happened to me was NOT ok.

However, by the grace of God I am ok – and that’s all that matters!

 

Join in the Fray: How you doing? (Grammatically incorrect, yet so appropriate!) 🙂

I’m blogging every day in the month of January in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl, All rights reserved.

 

 

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Filed Under: NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black, Black. White, BlogHer, equilibrium, feeling, good thoughts, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, NaBloPoMo, ok, positive thinking, random, situation, swirling

All We Need is Love – And a Little Open Heart Surgery

January 11, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway Leave a Comment

I was touched by this story I read regarding Marilyn Monroe and Ella Fitzgerald (courtesy of Lattes and Lipstick):

Apparently in the 1950s, a popular nightclub, Mocambo would not book Ella Fitzgerald because she was Black. Fortunately for Ella, she had a powerful and unlikely benefactor:  Marilyn Monroe.

“I owe Marilyn Monroe a real debt…it was because of her that I played the Mocambo, a very popular nightclub in the ’50s. She personally called the owner of the Mocambo, and told him she wanted me booked immediately, and if he would do it, she promised she would take a front table every night. She told him –and it was true, due to Marilyn’s superstar status – that the press would go wild. The owner said yes, and Marilyn was there, front table, every night. The press went overboard. After that, I never had to play a small jazz club again. She was an unusual woman – and ahead of her time and she didn’t know it.”

~Ella Fitzgerald

In light of the myriad of racially motivated controversies confronting our society, the message in this story really hit home. One of the lessons I take from this story is that in this day and age, so many of us – regardless of our race/ethnicity – go out in the world expecting to encounter racism or discrimination. Yes, we all have sense enough to know that these terrible feelings exist, and people DO engage in this type of negative action. Yet we have to believe and know that everyone we meet is not automatically going to display those unkind sentiments.

Some people really enjoy people and appreciate what others – despite their race or ethnicity – have to offer. Why? Because they’re open minded, and an open mind usually reflects an open heart.

As open-minded as I am, I’m always up for a little heart surgery. How about you?

Join in the Fray: In what areas of life could you stand to be more “open-minded?”

I’m blogging every day in the month of January in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl, All rights reserved.

(A modified version of this post appeared in The Daily Advertiser, April 10, 2012)

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Filed Under: NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black, Black. White, discrimination, Ella Fitzgerald, heart, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, love, Marilyn Monroe, NaBloPoMo, nightclub, open heart surgery, open mind, open mindedness, race, racial discromination, singer, singers, surgery, swirling

Raindrops Keep Falling on Our Heads . . .

January 10, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 4 Comments

Natives of Southwest Louisiana (also known as Acadiana and Cajun Country) are currently experiencing a deluge of rain. Our local weatherman is calling it a “flood event.”

We’re considered a large part of “hurricane country,” so we’re accustomed to torrential rains. The current weather pattern is a bit different in that it’s not accompanied by high winds and other typical hurricane activity.

No high winds – just . . . rain. For days. Almost without ceasing.

The latest round of rain yielded 9 to 12 inches worth – all within a period of 12 hours.

To give you an idea of the effects of these monsoons, here are some photos, taken from my parents’ home:

What’s supposed to be part of the front yard . . .

This is the view from the front porch:

I wonder if my Dad’s newspaper is in there???

Under normal circumstances, you’d see a ditch, two walkways leading to the road . . .  .

Yikes! Where are the concrete walkways?

Thankfully, the rain has finally stopped. My parents are blessed; their house is on high enough ground that they experienced no indoor flooding. Others were not so fortunate.

The waters are expected to recede – just in time for more rain next week . . . .

Join in the Fray: How’s the weather in your area?

I’m blogging every day in the month of January in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl, All rights reserved.

 

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Filed Under: NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Uncategorized Tagged With: Acadiana, Black, BlogHer, Cajun, Cajun Country, flood, flooding, interracial, NaBloPoMo, rain, swirling, weather, white

Reaching the Goal

January 9, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 4 Comments

“Patience is not passive waiting.

Patience is active acceptance of the process required to attain your goals and dreams.”

~Ray Davis

For as long as I can remember, setting goals has been my way of life.

Some of my earliest remembrances of setting goals centered on learning the alphabet, my numbers, my time tables, states of the Union – you name it. I set goals concerning not only by what day of the week I would finish a book, but of how many books I would read in a week or a month. Though my goals for growing so many inches in a year never seemed to materialize (I’m 5’2″ on my tip toes), I did manage to teach all the other goals I set.   

Today I’m happy to report that my goal of completing a PhD in higher education administration is well within sight.

I’ve more than exceeded my goal of 13 participants, (but I’m happy to interview more – the women’s stories are fascinating!).

 I’m now setting the goal of analyzing my data and writing Chapters 4 & 5 – all within the next seven weeks.

Ambitious? Quite. But it’s only a goal – and goals are made to be reached – no, exceeded, right?

Wish me luck! Thanks in advance for your support.

Join in the Fray: What goals have you recently reached?

I’m blogging every day in the month of January in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl, All rights reserved.

 

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Filed Under: Announcements, NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black, Black. White, goal, goal setting, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, NaBloPoMo, swirling

My Blogroll

January 8, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 2 Comments

The internet is a virtual reading buffet. Whatever your interest, somebody is probably blogging about it. 

Because there’s so much out there, sometimes it’s hard to know where to start. May I make some suggestions?

Kind Reader, meet my Blogroll: This is a list of the blogs I regularly read.

I invite you to check these out for information on pop culture, health, beauty, faith, fashion, interracial dating and marriage, homemaking, and pure comedy.

My Blogroll

  • A Black Girl’s Guide to Weight Loss
  • Afrobella
  • Alphanista
  • Awesomely Luvvie
  • Baggage Reclaim
  • Beyond Black & White
  • Black Female Interracial Marriage
  • Black Girl Nerds
  • Black Women Deserve Better™
  • Black Women with Other Brothers
  • Black Women’s Interracial Relationship Circle
  • Bougie Black Girl
  • Happy Black Woman
  • Integrated Memoirs
  • Interracial Dating Coach
  • Joyce L. Rodgers
  • Just Ask Kaye
  • LorMarie’s Place
  • Married Girl in a Weird World
  • Matlock61
  • Petals
  • Socialite Dreams
  • Surviving Dating
  • The Sojourner’s Passport
  • The Style and Beauty Doctor
  • The Working Home Keeper

Join in the Fray: What blogs do you read regularly?

I’m blogging every day in the month of January in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment.

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl, All rights reserved.

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Filed Under: NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black, Black women, Black. White, Blog, blog roll, bloggers, blogging, BlogHer, dating, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, NaBloPoMo, swirling

Italian Delights

January 7, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 15 Comments

Thursday I mentioned that I want to start working on a book.

I’m toying with the idea of expanding the story line and featuring the characters I used last year in a writing prompt. The prompt was posted by the moderator of an online writing group I’m a member of.

These were the guidelines:

SHORT STORY – 1000-2000 words

Deadline – July 3rd, 2011

TOPIC: July 4th

RULES:

1. NO FIRST PERSON (example I, me, my)

2. Do not go over 2000 words

3. Do have a PLOT

4. Do leave it hanging

5. Nothing sexually explicit. We aren’t doing porn, thanks

6. FINALLY: You must use these ten words at least once somewhere in your story:

BOY, DODGE, INTRINSIC, INEVITABLE, VALUABLE, ORANGE, SPACESHIP, CHEESECLOTH, FIREWORKS, ANIMAL

This is the story I submitted. Please give me your opinion.

Italian Delights

Alexa looked nervously around the room and compared her attire to that of the other ladies.

She’d worn dressy jeans with a bright orange linen tunic. Originally she’d planned to wear an animal print blouse, but later decided against it because she thought it would look too busy. Even though it was the 4th of July, she definitely didn’t want to go with a red-white-and blue color scheme – that was way too cheesy. Stilettos were normally her shoe of choice, yet this time she’d opted for low-heeled, caramel-colored leather mules. The brochure for the three-hour cooking class cautioned attendees to wear comfortable shoes. Be stylish – not stupid, Alexa had said to herself when she pushed past boxes of high heels and settled on the mules. Besides, she didn’t want to look like she was trying too hard. She’d completed her outfit with large hoop earrings in yellow gold. Alexa hoped the outfit looked as good on her as it had on the store mannequin.

After scanning the other women’s outfits, Alexa was satisfied that she’d been able to dodge the “overdressed” bullet and achieved the look she desired. “Less is more!” Mama always said, and this time Mama was right.

Alexa sighed inwardly. Mama never said there’d be days like this, she thought. She was 32 and still single. Born and raised in Pensacola, Florida, Alexa had graduated from Florida A & M University with a bachelor’s of science in marketing. She’d landed a job with Texas Instruments and moved to Dallas right after graduation.  Five years later she’d marched across the stage at Texas Women’s University, MBA in hand. That degree had afforded her a valuable and enviable amount of leverage, and she’d used that leverage to climb the ranks of her company.  Alexa loved learning; for her it was an intrinsic quality. Setting her sights on a PhD was inevitable. With her fast-paced work environment, enrolling in online classes at the University of Phoenix seemed like the perfect solution.

What good is it to have a wonderful career, a ton of education, and no man? Alexa thought ruefully.

Well, that’s why you’re here, Alexa Renee’ Patterson, she said to perk herself up.  Alexa received e-mail updates from five popular dating blogs and read them religiously. She’d learned that she had allowed her career and educational pursuits to consume the majority of her time and attention, leaving her little to no room for a social life or dating.

“Ladies, you have to get out to where the men are! A good man won’t drop down out of the sky in a spaceship,” the bloggers admonished.

One blogger whom Alexa greatly admired swore that she met her dream man at a cooking class. When the Whole Foods Market Alexa frequented started offering Monday night cooking classes, she viewed it as a sign and paid for a month of classes. The first Monday in July was the 4th, but the store held to the schedule, so here she was. Alexa thought it was an interesting way to spend the holiday. Tonight’s theme: Italian Delights.

Alexa scanned the room again, this time to see if any men were present. Three men were in attendance; two White and one Asian. One of the White men was with a woman who was obviously either his wife or girlfriend; ditto for the Asian man. The other White guy’s back was turned to her so Alexa couldn’t see his face. She definitely couldn’t miss his blonde hair or his height, though.  He was at least five or six inches taller than the other two men. Eyes narrowing slightly, Alexa looked around at the other people in the class. Suddenly, she realized that she was the only Black person in the entire room.

Oh boy! so much for meeting a man, she thought.

“Everybody partner up,” the stout, bearded chef with “Bob” printed on his name tag said cheerfully.

OH. NO! Alexa thought. She’d tried to get one of her three home girls to come with her, but each had refused.

“Cooking classes? You’re taking cooking classes – for a month??!” Carmen had exclaimed.

“They’re only from 6:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m., so come on,” Alexa wheedled.

“Um, I think I’ll be b-busy,” Carmen stammered.

“Alexa, are you sure that’s a good way to meet real men?” Robin had said doubtfully. “What kind of men take cooking classes???”

“Girl, I’m not tying up my Monday nights taking some freakin’ cooking classes,” Valerie, Alexa’s bestie, had snorted. “I already know how to cook. But you knock yourself out, though!”

So here she was, in a cooking class without another brown face in the place – and no partner. Great, Alexa thought. She could hear Carmen, Robin, and Jackie hooting now!

She squared her shoulders and looked around bravely. The classes were limited to 10 and excluding the instructor, 10 people were present. She would be paired with somebody.

Bob peered at her name tag. “Um, Alexa? Gary here doesn’t have a partner. Why don’t you two partner up?”

“Gary” turned out to be the tall blonde. Alexa looked up and stared into a pair of deep blue eyes. Gary’s face reminded her of Harrison Ford in the first Raiders movie. He was even built like Harrison Ford. Goodness! Why was her heart pounding?

“I’d love to be your partner,” Gary said, his eyes twinkling. “Do you mind?”

“Why, not at all,” Alexa heard herself saying. Gary towered over her petite, five feet, one-inch frame, but she didn’t care. A little dazed (and more than a little breathless) she forced herself to listen to the instructor.

“Tonight’s theme is ‘Italian Delights,’” Bob boomed. “We’re going to make rigatoni with sausage, peas, and fresh ricotta. Now, ricotta is a delicious, creamy cheese. We’re going to make this dish just the way they do in Italy, which means we’ll strain the ricotta cheese through something called cheesecloth. . . . “

The rest of the class was a blur. Alexa and Gary laughed, talked, and cooked together like they’d known each other for years. The highlight of the class was sitting down to eat the meal, complete with a wine paring, after everything was prepared.

Gary lifted his glass of wine and turned to Alexa for a toast. “To a wonderful cooking class, with the best partner a guy could hope for,” he said, looking Alexa directly in the eyes. She nodded happily, and raised her glass in return.

Gary’s eyes didn’t leave her face. “I hope you don’t think I’m being presumptuous, but I really don’t want this evening to end. Class is over in about 15 minutes; would you like to go for coffee? The Starbucks on McKinney Boulevard stays open until midnight.”

Wow! Alexa thought. She felt the same way Gary did; she also didn’t want the evening to end.  She had never imagined that she’d ever feel attracted to a man who wasn’t Black, but the chemistry between she and Gary was undeniable. She could follow her head and hold on to old patterns of thinking, or she could follow her heart and launch out into the deep. Alexa already knew the answer.

Inwardly, Alexa took a deep breath, and jumped.  “Of course,” she said, smiling warmly. “I’d love to.”

Three hours later, Alexa was quite assured that she hadn’t jumped alone.

“When I saw you, it was like real fireworks went off,” Gary said. “I tried to see if you were there with someone. You didn’t notice, but I maneuvered my way around the room so I could be your partner.”

They talked, and laughed, and talked some more. This would be the first interracial relationship for each of them. They decided to take things slow, enjoy their time together, and see where things led.

Gary walked Alexa to her car and made her promise to call and let him know she’d arrived home safely. Once on the freeway, out of his sight, Alexa shivered. What would her home girls say???

~~~~~~~

Incredulous that Alexa followed through and went to the cooking class – and actually met a “real” man – her posse of three made sure to get every little detail before weighing in on the prospect of her dating interracially. Their responses ranged from yes, to maybe, and hell no.

“Girl, does he have a brother???” Carmen squealed.  “ I’ve wanted to swirl for the longest. Tell Mr. Gary to hook a sista UP!”

“ Hmm . . . Alexa, I don’t know about this,” Robin said reluctantly. “I guess I’m happy for you, but I’m worried at the same time. Are you sure this is what you want to do???”

Telling Carmen and Robin was a piece of cake compared to telling Valerie.

“Aw hell, Alexa, this is what I get for letting you go to some lily-white cooking class by yourself!” Valerie exclaimed. “You met some White dude and came back crazy. It will never work!”

WHOA, Alexa thought. She could definitely understand Carmen’s desire to hop on the interracial dating bandwagon. Why not be willing to try a different dating option? She could even understand Robin’s reluctance; she wanted Alexa to exercise caution because she didn’t want her to get hurt. Those responses made sense.

But Alexa was stymied by Val’s reaction. Why did Valerie say Alexa had to be “crazy?” And why did Val automatically think it wouldn’t work?

Valerie had a laundry list of reasons why: Too many cultural differences. His family and friends wouldn’t accept her. It would be too uncomfortable for Alexa to fit into “his” world, and him in “hers.” White boys can’t get-it-on like brothers can.

And the clincher?

“Who the hell do you think you are, anyway?”Valerie said.

‘Who the hell do I think am?’ Alexa thought.

What???!!!

“Val, who do YOU think I think I am???” Alexa asked angrily.

They stood there facing each other, hands clenched into fists. Alexa was amazed at the incredible amount of negative energy in the room. She was also amazed at the depth of the feelings she was experiencing. Alexa wanted what Val and any other woman wanted – a good, solid relationship with a wonderful man. If Gary fit the bill, then why should his being White present a problem to Val or anyone else?

“Alexa, the hell if I know who I think you think you are,” Valerie said, exasperated. “That’s why I asked you!”

They glared at each other; breathing heavily, faces full of fury. Suddenly, inexplicably, the foundation of their friendship, which had been rocky mere moments prior, carried them into a safe, familiar place.

They both burst out laughing.

“Girl, you’re always doing something – you make me SICK!” Valerie exclaimed as the tension left the room. “How can you DO this???” she asked. “I’m telling you now – I’m not going to go off into the deep White waters – but you – Girl, you have to tell me how YOU can!”

Slowly, quietly, and with a lot of laughter sprinkled in, Alexa told her best friend that she was terrified – but determined. She and Gary had clicked all during the class, and even more so as they later drank coffee together in Starbucks, undistracted. They shared similar values; each possessed definitive goals, and wanted the same things from life. Of course Alexa had met men with goals and values. Yet, she and Gary experienced a connection that even in those first hours seemed to transcend their ethnicities. Alexa was willing to explore the connection further, and so was Gary.

“So Girl, THIS is what I want to know,” Val said slyly. “You sure you’re gonna be able to ‘do that thang’ with him???”

Alexa’s jaw dropped, and then she shook with laughter. Leave it to Valerie!

Before Alexa could muster up a response, her cell phone rang. It was Gary, and his voice sounded strained. Alexa’s heart plummeted. There was something about the tone of his voice that made her very uneasy . . . .

 

Join in the Fray: What do you think of this story? What do you think happened to Gary?

I’m blogging every day in the month of January in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and please leave some feedback!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl, All rights reserved.

 

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Filed Under: NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black, Black women, Black. White, BlogHer, book idea, cheese, cooking, cooking classes, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, Italian, NaBloPoMo, novel, plot, romantic comedy, short story, swirling, syspense, Whole Foods Market, Writing, writing challenge

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I’m Michelle Matthews-Calloway, and I’m A Swirl Girl! Greetings to you from The Swirl World. We encourage Black women to expand their relationship options by dating and marrying interracially. Our overarching mission is to see Black Women live their best life. Come Swirl with us in The Swirl World™, where we celebrate Black women and the diverse men who love us!™

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