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The Swirl World

Celebrating and Elevating Black Women - mind, body, soul and spirit!


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Wedding Bells Are Ringing!

April 17, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway Leave a Comment

Kozzi-Wedding 1

I have occasion to drive by St. Genevieve’s Catholic Church in Lafayette, LA on a regular basis. On most days, nothing special is going on. Today was different.

As me and the other 1.5 million poor schmucks  were inching along in 5:00 p.m. traffic, we were treated to the sight of a girl in a gorgeous wedding gown. The sunlight hit the crystals and pearls on her dress just so, and she was a dazzling vision of beauty. 

She was standing on the stoop with a gentleman in a tuxedo who I’m guessing was her Father. St. Genevieve’s doesn’t appear to have a vestibule, because the Bride and her escort were standing outside the huge front door. Everyone else had evidently marched in, and there she was, clutching the man’s hands. In just those brief moments, I could tell that the young woman was giddy with anticipation of her entrance into the church. 

Seeing her immediately brought a smile to my face, and I was smitten with curiosity about the people inside. How many girls were in her wedding party? What colors had she selected? Who was serving as her Maid of Honor – was it her sister, a favorite cousin, or maybe her best friend?  

And, more important, what about the Groom, her soon-to-be husband? Was he short or tall, handsome or average? How long had they dated? Did they share the same ethnicity, or was she swirling? Did the gentleman standing with her, waiting to walk her down the aisle, approve of the man who would be waiting for her at the other end???   

The traffic picked up, and we chugged forward. I didn’t get to see her enter the doors, and I’ll never know what awaited her inside. Wedding bells were ringing for her, and a new chapter in her life was waiting to begin.

How many other people got married today? I wondered. Despite the turmoil that composes our world, life moves on. Steps are taken and decisions made. This Bride got married; somewhere in the world, today marked an engagement, a promise of marriage, for hundreds, maybe even thousands of other couples.

There’s a flip side to that, of course: Somewhere in the world, others decided to end their marriages or relationships and call it quits. Somebody opted to stop trying, or felt it was better to walk away.  Today was a day of supreme joy for some, and a day of bitter, disappointing sadness for others. And yes, life will go on.

I said a prayer for that unknown couple as I traversed down Evangeline Thruway. No one, me least of all, knows what challenges they will face or what heights they will reach. I sincerely wish them well, and hope their wedding bells will ring cheerily for the rest of their lives.

Join in the Fray: What “bells” are ringing for you ?

I’m blogging every day in the month of April in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

 

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Filed Under: Festivals and Events, NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: bells, Black, Black women, Black. White, BlogHer, break ups, bride, Catholic, Catholic church, church, couples, dating, engagement, Evangeline Thruway, Father of the Bride, groom, interracial, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, LA, Lafayette, NaBloPoMo, St. Genevieve, swirling, wedding, wedding bells, weddings

When Failure Becomes the Sweetest Success

April 16, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 4 Comments

Like Father Like Daughter

The saying “Everybody loves a winner” probably couldn’t be more true when we are speaking of ourselves. Sure, winning and being successful is more important to some of us than others, yet I don’t believe anyone  just enjoys losing or failing.

With that being said, tonight I learned how failure can turn into a sweet success.

Those of you who are my Facebook friends may remember that a few months or so ago (I checked; it was actually October 28, 2012. Wow, how time flies! o_O) my Dad attempted to make praline candy in the microwave. I got sucked into trying to “help” him, and three times in one night, this was the result:

BURNT PECANS

Whelp, when I came in tonight, Daddy was at it again. This time, he was making candy the old-fashioned way – on top of the stove in a cast iron skillet.

He was just a’ stirrin’ and a’ stirrin’, and of course I got sucked in again and joined him. Daddy couldn’t find the new recipe he was using, and he had put in his ingredients from memory. Even though he and I have seen homemade candy being made a least a jillion times, neither of us could remember what to do next.

We had a good time trying to think of all the steps; laughing and cracking jokes about how my cheap Aunt Mary took shortcuts and her candy always came out too thin, thinking fondly of the fact that my S-I-L infused her candy with peanut butter (delicious!) and how when I was growing up I loved the bowl and spoon almost more than the candy and would have to beat back my two brothers in order to get it. 

I did remember that at some point in the process you’re supposed to drop some of the candy “juice” in cold water;  if it formed a ball, then the candy was ready to spread.

Ahem.

What I didn’t remember is that you do that when the pecans are already in the hot candy mix, because you have a very small window of time in which to spread the pralines before the candy starts seizing (learned that term from the show Chopped).

Cough.

What we would up with was this:

PRALINES 04 16 2013

Candied pecans!

If I say so myself, they are delicious. Even though we didn’t get the “pralines” we were after, Daddy and I had a wonderful time in the kitchen. I spread out the parchment paper and brushed it with butter, and took the skillet from him when I saw it was getting too heavy for him to hold. 

We’d done a lot of laughing and talking, and when the time came to spread the candy, we worked wordlessly, but with a rhythm that was instinctive.

The more time I spend with my Dad, the more I’m learning how very much I have his temperament and outlook. We didn’t view our candied-pecans-not-pralines as a failure – no, quite the contrary!

I deliberately left some in the skillet and went to work on scraping the pot and loudly licking the spoon; my Dad smacked his lips as he put the very warm candied pecans in his mouth.

It was a moment of sheer joy.

Daddy turned to me and said, “Well, we would have had the same result if they were whole and we broke them up, right?”   

Being the Father’s Daughter that I am, I said gleefully, “You betcha!”

For Daddy and I, the glass is never half empty. He’s the eternal optimist, and I thankfully revel in this trait I received from him. Have I been hurt? Of course. Has life sometimes looked very bleak and dark, without a ray of sunshine in sight? You betcha!

The secret lies in learning how to properly view those events and circumstances that appear to be failures; to salvage whatever remains and use it to carry you to the victories that will eventually come.  Understanding, ultimately, that failures serve to sweeten your success. 

And you know what? Candy coated pecans taste just as good – if not better – than whole pralines!

Join in the Fray: When has your “failure” turned into sweet success?

I’m blogging every day in the month of April in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

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Filed Under: NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: baking, Black, Black women, Black. White, BlogHer, candy, cast iron, cooking, Daddy, dating, daughter, Father, interracial, interracial relationships, NaBloPoMo, pecan candy, pecan pralines, pecans, pralines, skillet, swirling

For the Good Times

April 15, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 3 Comments

FOR THE GOOD TIMES

Like me, I’m sure you were shocked and saddened to hear of the tragic turn of events at today’s Boston Marathon.

I’d planned to tell you all about the “VIPink Party” I attended Saturday night (I have the post all loaded in and ready to go).

Needless to say, all of that seems pretty frivolous now, when some of the Marathon runners and attendees are hanging on to life by a thread. Others made it out intact, but I’m sure the lives of those in attendance are now turned upside down.

I can’t help but think of the joy and laughter I experienced at Saturday’s event. I enjoyed the company I was with, and I loved being out and about. There’s something about events like the Marathon, concerts, festivals, shows, sporting events, movies and even fundraising dinners that make us happy.

We put on the glitz – or good walking shoes! – and set out to have a good time with friends and family. We don’t approach these events with fear; no, it’s the exact opposite. Many of the people who ran the Marathon had trained for months. Being there was a milestone for many; for some, an event to cross off on their bucket lists.

We don’t expect our events to end in tragedy. No, we expect to Facebook it, Tweet it, commemorate it with pictures, or even blog about it. We plan to place these events in our categories of “good times,” and never expect them to become remembrances of unspeakable horror and fear.

My heartfelt condolences, prayers, and sympathy go out to the families of all who were affected. My hope is that one day; someday, they may again experience good times.

Join in the Fray: When was the last occasion you had a “good time?”

I’m blogging every day in the month of April in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

 

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Filed Under: NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black, Black women, Black. White, BlogHer, bomb, Boston Marathon, dating, explosion, interracial, interracial dating, interracial relationships, NaBloPoMo, runners, running, swirling, tragedy

Things You CAN’T Do When You’re NOT a Dog

April 12, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 3 Comments

nibbles-225x300

So ok; today this video had me laughing so hard I just had to share it!

I’m also sending a shout out to Nibbles, who by far is the best little dog in the whole wide world.

Dogs rule!

 

Join in the Fray: Are you on #TeamDog or #TeamCat?

 

I’m blogging every day in the month of April in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

 

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

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Filed Under: NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black, Black women, Black. White, BlogHer, Cat, dating, dog, funny, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, joke, NaBloPoMo, swirling, video

The Best Way to Keep Calm

April 11, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 4 Comments

KEEP CALM AND BUY SHOES

Lots of things go on in our immediate and extended circles. Many of these things serve as distractions to keep us off-center and unfocused.

Sometimes we immediately see and recognize these things for what they are. Other times we don’t realize that something (or someone) has slipped us the okey-doke until we’ve fallen for it: We’ve invested a lot of time and energy in something that is not serving us.

The good news is that when we come to ourselves, there’s always something we can do – be it a ritual or an activity – that gets us back on track.

So, what do I to “Keep Calm?”

I “Keep Calm and Read a Book,” or “Keep Calm and Drink Coffee” (or better yet, “Keep Calm and Buy Jewelry!”).

And of course, the best thing I can do is “Keep Calm and Pray.”

Join in the Fray: What’s the best way for you to “Keep Calm?”

I’m blogging every day in the month of April in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

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Filed Under: NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black, Black women, Black. White, BlogHer, calm, calmness, dating, distractions, focus, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, NaBloPoMo, swirling, unfocused

Happy National Sibling’s Day!

April 10, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 2 Comments

MOM AND SISTERSWho knew??? I certainly did not.

*Hangs head in shame*

Whelp, Happy National Sibling’s Day to the Two Bestest Brothers In The Whole Wide World!

(It would be even nicer if I had my brothers’ photos, but for some reason I can’t locate them on my computer. That’s why you see a photo of my Mother and her sisters. Can you guess which one is my Mom?).

*Tries to wipe egg off face but can’t*

Join in the Fray: Give your siblings a shout-out!

I’m blogging every day in the month of April for BlogHer’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading and do leave a comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

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Filed Under: NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black women, Black. White, BlogHer, brother, brothers, dating, Fray, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, NaBloPoMo, National Sibling's Day, siblings, swirling

Drop It Like It’s Squat!

April 8, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 2 Comments

30 DAY SQUAT CHALLENGE

I’ve met few challenges I didn’t like, and this one is no exception. The fit folks over at Inspired Fitness posted this photo on their Facebook page.

The challenge started on April 4, so I’m a few days late. No worries; I can start today and work it into May.

Who’s in with me???

 

Join in the Fray: How do you “Drop it like it’s hot?”

I’m blogging every day in the month of April in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

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Filed Under: NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: 30-day, April, Black, Black women, Black. White, Blog, BlogHer, challenge, dating, exercise, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, month, NaBloPoMo, squats, swirling

15 Things to Give Up

April 6, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway Leave a Comment

vector image of a checklist

I saw this list and was inspired. I’ve given up many of these things, and still working on others. How about you?

  1. Doubting yourself
  2. Negative thinking
  3. Fear of failure
  4. Destructive relationships
  5. Gossiping
  6. Criticizing yourself and others
  7. Excessive anger
  8. Comfort eating
  9. Laziness
  10. Negative talk
  11. Procrastination
  12. Fear of success
  13. Anything excessive
  14. People pleasing
  15. Putting others’ needs before your own

Join in the Fray: Which ones have you given up? Which ones do you still need to work on?

I’m blogging every day in the month of April in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

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Filed Under: NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black, Black women, Black. White, BlogHer, dating, empowerment, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, NaBloPoMo, self-empowerment, swirling

What Would Jesus Do? I’ll Tell You! (A Rant)

April 4, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 18 Comments

http://www.dreamstime.com/stock-image-ancient-man-throwing-stone-image4028031

This week a firestorm erupted on the Facebook page of an up-and-coming Christian comedienne who also happens to be a Black woman.

Here’s The Back Story:

She posted the photo of a Pastor and his spouse taking part in special services the church had given to honor the couple (in the Black church, this type of special service is commonly known as “the Pastor & Wife’s Appreciation” or “the Pastor & Wife’s Anniversary.” This service commemorates each year of service by the couple, and is an annual tradition on the church’s calendar of services).

(Just as a FYI, there is also another service in a similar vein that is referred to as “the Church Appreciation” or “the Church Anniversary”).

While I’m at it, let me also inform the uninformed that in many Black churches, the Pastor’s wife is often referred to as “the First Lady.” (Yes, the same term given to the wife of the President of the United States. I’m not throwing any shade on the term, I’m just filling out The Back story).

Any who, Pastoral appreciations are standard fare for most Black churches. Except for one small detail.

The Pastor’s “wife” (spouse) in the photo was another man.

Raised herself as a “P.K.” or “Preacher’s Kid,” the Comedienne  was tickled pink by the fact that the spouse of the Pastor in the photo was referred to as “The First Gentleman.”

She’d never heard of the term. She remembered how the term “First Lady” had applied to her Mother, so she thought the whole thing was hilarious. Hence the reason she posted the photo.

Whelp, before waiting to see what she would say about the photo or read her reason for posting it, the “Christians” came out in full force to comment on what they saw in the photo.

When I say “a firestorm erupted,” I’m not exaggerating: She received over 80 comments in about 5 – 6 minutes.

And what kinds of comments did the “Christians” post, you may ask?

Did the Christians post comments that reflected the love of Christ – comments that reflected a concern for the souls of the two men? Did the comments express thoughts of prayer, or even of reflection?

Did the comments demonstrate loving kindness – the same loving kindness God used when He supposedly drew them?

I dare say that you don’t even have to ask those questions – you probably already know the answers.

And that, my friends, is the sad part: You probably already know that the vast majority of the “Christians” who posted the comments evidently could not spell “Love,” much less show Love.

May I tell you that I’m. sick. and. tired. of. “Christians” who. only. seem. to. be. able. to. tell. you. who. and. what. they. HATE. instead. of. who. and. what. they. LOVE?

May I tell you that I’m disgusted by their bigotry and intolerance? May I tell you that I’m sickened and dismayed at the way they throw away – and trample under their feet – prime opportunities to be the light and love they sing and testify to each other about on Sunday mornings?

When I wasn’t busy being disgusted and angry, I was interested to see that the very people these “Christians” were trying to point the finger at and condemn (yeah, gays and lesbians – the people “Christians” seem to love to hate) – these very individuals were able to point out passages of scripture – in the same Bible these “Christians” say they read – and remind them of what the Word says about Love.

You know – LOVE – what that same Bible (in 1 John 4:8) says GOD is.

And for all of you who stand poised to swoop down on me and quote scriptures about homosexuality, don’t bother. I’m well versed in the Bible, and I don’t need you to tell me what it says on the subject of homosexuality.

What I DO need you to do – for starters – is look up all the verses that describe YOUR spiritual state.

Go ahead and start with the Gospels, somewhere around Matthew 7:3 (where the words are in red) where Jesus asks, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?”

And before you try to tell me that homosexuality is not “sawdust,” go ahead and read 1 John 5:17. (I’ll save you the time and tell you what it says: “All unrighteousness is sin.”)

ALL. unrighteousness. is. sin.

As in, the unrighteous, ungodly, and wicked things YOU do.

Guess what? Those things YOU do that oppose the word of God – those things are SIN.

(And, mind you, “unrighteousness” includes talking to people as if they were trash. Or talking about them as if they were trash. Or neglecting to remember that those persons you despise are made in the image and likeness of God – just like you are).

How ’bout you remember that Christ died for the ungodly – and “THEY” are included in that number (just as YOU are)?

The “Christians” who that night tried to pummel gays and lesbians with comments of “You’re going to hell” and “You’re an abomination” need to consider a little incident that is found in John 8:

The “teachers of the law and the Pharisees” (you know; people who prided themselves on how well THEY kept the law  – yes; kinda like many of these modern-day “Christians”) brought to Jesus a woman who had been caught in. the. very. act. of. ADULTERY.

(Chile, YES! CAUGHT IN THE ACT of CHEATING on her husband!)

*Clutching my pearls*

“They made her stand before the group” (yep; sounds like some “Christians” I know) and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery.  In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?”

(See how they thumped the Bible at Jesus? They told Him what the law of Moses said to do to people who engaged in such sinful and dastardly behavior – as if He didn’t already know).

So, What Did Jesus Do?

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger.  When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.”  

So, you wanna know “What Would Jesus Do?”

Wanna know what I believe He’s doing to these “Christians” who show contempt instead of concern, a lack of love instead of loving kindness?

I’ll tell you.

He’d say,  “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone.”

He’ll wait.

And so will I.

 

Join in the Fray: Do you have a stone to throw?

I’m blogging every day in the month of April in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

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Filed Under: NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black. White, Blog, BlogHer, dating, gay, homosexual, homosexuality, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, lesbian, rant, rave, vent

Announcement: This is a No Censorship Zone

April 3, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 7 Comments

With that being said, please know that a rant is coming tomorrow.

You have been warned.

NO CENSORING

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Join in the Fray: What pushes your buttons?

I’m blogging every day in the month of April in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

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Filed Under: Announcements, NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: anger, angry, Black, Black women, Black. White, blogging, BlogHer, dating, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, rant, rave, swirling

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Welcome!

I’m Michelle Matthews-Calloway, and I’m A Swirl Girl! Greetings to you from The Swirl World. We encourage Black women to expand their relationship options by dating and marrying interracially. Our overarching mission is to see Black Women live their best life. Come Swirl with us in The Swirl World™, where we celebrate Black women and the diverse men who love us!™

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by TheSwirlWorld
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Podcasts We Love

  • #SmartBrownVoices
  • Back2Us Radio Network
  • Behind The Brilliance
  • Black Girl Nerds
  • Design The Life You Want
  • Her Power Hustle
  • Interracial Jawn
  • Just Thinkin' Out Loud Media
  • Live By Design Inspiration Radio
  • Nerdy Black Chicks
  • The Freedom Biz
  • The Productive Woman
  • This Week In Blackness

Blogroll

  • 500and50
  • A Black Girl's Guide to Weight Loss
  • African American 101
  • Afrobella
  • Alaia Williams
  • Alphanista
  • Awesomely Luvvie
  • Baggage Reclaim
  • Beyond Black & White
  • Black Female Interracial Marriage
  • Black Girl Nerds
  • Black Girls Blogging
  • Black Women Deserve Better™
  • Black Women with Other Brothers
  • Black Women’s Interracial Relationship Circle
  • Bougie Black Girl
  • Chonilla
  • Courtney Herring
  • Elle Veg- All Things Vegetarian
  • For Harriet
  • Happy Black Woman
  • Interracial Dating Coach
  • Joyce L. Rodgers
  • Just Ask Kaye
  • Kaywanda Lamb
  • Littlefoot's Journey
  • LorMarie's Place
  • Married Girl in a Weird World
  • Mom's 'N Charge
  • MONETIZE THYSELF with Nicole Walters
  • Neecy's Nest
  • Oneika the Traveller
  • Petals
  • Socialite Dreams
  • Surviving Dating
  • Talk To Amber
  • The New Elegant Black Woman
  • The Social Graces & Savoir Faire Institute of Etiquette
  • The Sojourner’s Passport
  • The Style and Beauty Doctor
  • The Trendy Socialite
  • The Working Home Keeper
  • The World of Miss Glamtastic
  • Tia Delano
  • Water Cooler Convos

Copyright Terms:

All rights reserved. All work is the copyright of the respective owner, otherwise copyright ©2015 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, The Swirl World Podcast™, The Swirl World Inspiration Daily™, Swirl Nation™, all rights reserved, Dallas, TX, USA.
Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

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