• Home
  • About The Swirl World
  • Meet The Contributors
  • Shop
  • Contact Us
  • Disclosure Policy
  • Privacy Policy

The Swirl World

Celebrating and Elevating Black Women - mind, body, soul and spirit!


Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy

Have You Ever Been Profiled? The Conclusion

July 17, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 8 Comments

life  challenges 3

Turns out Jessica’s Mother was able to take a good look at me in our class photo. Me, with my hair neatly combed in a pony tail and tied with a beautiful red satin bow. Me, in my dark navy sailor dress with red trim that matched the bow just so, new saddle shoes and red socks. My dress, I might add, came from the local department store – and cost more than the clothes Jessica wore in an entire week.

You see, Jessica’s family was poor. Jessica didn’t live in my nice neighborhood; she, her two older sisters and her younger brother and her parents lived in a trailer. Her Mother had to work – Jessica said she was a waitress at a pancake house. Her Dad wasn’t in the Army like mine was – he’d never been in the service. He worked in a Western Auto store and did handyman work on the side to make extra money.

Jessica told me that her Mother asked a lot of questions about me after she saw my picture. She wanted to know where we lived and asked if Jessica knew anything about what my parents did for a living. She said her Mother even showed the picture to her Daddy when he came home, and that they said, “Look at how clean she is.”

“Mama said your dress cost a lot of money,” Jessica said. “She wanted to know if you dressed like that all the time. When I told her you did, she didn’t say anything. I told her you were the smartest person in our class, too. This morning before I we went to school, she told me that I could sit with you.”

I didn’t know what to say. I thought about all the things Mama and Daddy said to my brother and me that night. How they made sure we always looked nice when we went to school, and why it was important that we be on our p’s and q’s at all times, to never give the teacher any trouble and to always make good grades.

They told us how some White people didn’t expect Black people to look and act the way we did. How when some people looked at Black people they always expected the worst. They even told us some Black people thought the same way! The important thing was for us to always remember who we were and what we had been taught.

“Be true to yourself,” my Mama said.

“Remember, you’re a Matthews,” said Daddy.

Mama and Daddy were right. I didn’t look the way Jessica’s Mother expected me to look, so once she saw me, then I became “all right” in her eyes. I understood what happened because my Mama and Daddy had explained it, but it still didn’t make sense.

And it still wasn’t right.

And, worse than that, based on what Mama and Daddy had told me, it wouldn’t be the last time.

I’m an adult now. I came into my own; proud, self-assured and fully competent.

mmc photo 4

I can certainly attest that the profiling I experienced at the hands of Jessica’s Mother wasn’t the last time. As a young Black girl . . . teenager . . . young adult . . . woman, I have faced multiple instances of profiling, prejudice and discrimination.

I have learned how to manage it, and I have learned how to navigate in varied academic, professional and social situations.

I have learned that people are individuals. No ethnic or racial group is a monolith; each person must be assessed and accepted or rejected in my life based on personal merit.

I have also learned – painfully so – that life’s not fair, and everyone won’t respond to me with the same level of fairness, respect and acceptance I extend to them. I have learned that my skin color would cause some people to prejudge me without bothering to get to know me. I have learned that others would hate me on sight because my skin color differs from theirs.

 

I have learned that prejudgment, discrimination, profiling and injustice can come from a person of any race or ethnicity.

Yet, despite the profiling, the negative experiences, and even the hate, I am thankful that I have learned to appreciate the diversity that encompasses the human race – so much so that I freely welcome and desire a life partner whose race or ethnicity is different from mine.

I have learned that profiling doesn’t define me – the only person who can define me – is me. And you know what? I. love. me!

MMC CURLY

Jessica and I remained friends for the remainder of the school year. We moved to another state at the beginning of the summer, and I never saw her again.

And yes, I won our book competition. I read every book in our school library – and finished three weeks before she did.

Join in the Fray: Who or what defines you?

I’m blogging every day in the month of July in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

Be Sociable! Share this:

  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr
  • Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window) Reddit
  • Click to share on Pocket (Opens in new window) Pocket
  • Click to print (Opens in new window) Print

Like this:

Like Loading...

Filed Under: NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: assurance, Black women, Black. White, BlogHer, competence, competent, discriminate, discrimination, hate, hatred, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, NaBloPoMo, prejudice, prejudiced, profiled, profiling, self-assured, self-empowerment

15 Things to Give Up

April 6, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway Leave a Comment

vector image of a checklist

I saw this list and was inspired. I’ve given up many of these things, and still working on others. How about you?

  1. Doubting yourself
  2. Negative thinking
  3. Fear of failure
  4. Destructive relationships
  5. Gossiping
  6. Criticizing yourself and others
  7. Excessive anger
  8. Comfort eating
  9. Laziness
  10. Negative talk
  11. Procrastination
  12. Fear of success
  13. Anything excessive
  14. People pleasing
  15. Putting others’ needs before your own

Join in the Fray: Which ones have you given up? Which ones do you still need to work on?

I’m blogging every day in the month of April in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

Be Sociable! Share this:

  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr
  • Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window) Reddit
  • Click to share on Pocket (Opens in new window) Pocket
  • Click to print (Opens in new window) Print

Like this:

Like Loading...

Filed Under: NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black, Black women, Black. White, BlogHer, dating, empowerment, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, NaBloPoMo, self-empowerment, swirling

The Swirl World Mug
The Swirl World Mug
by TheSwirlWorld

Join The Swirl Nation and Receive Updates Via Email!

Are You In?

Provide your email address if you'd like to hear from us from time to time. We promise we won't spam you!

Thank you!

You have successfully joined our subscriber list.

Looking for something? Search here!

Welcome!

I’m Michelle Matthews-Calloway, and I’m A Swirl Girl! Greetings to you from The Swirl World. We encourage Black women to expand their relationship options by dating and marrying interracially. Our overarching mission is to see Black Women live their best life. Come Swirl with us in The Swirl World™, where we celebrate Black women and the diverse men who love us!™

Join The Swirl World on Facebook

Join The Swirl World on Facebook

Listen to the Podcast on Sound Cloud

Join A Swirl Girl On Instagram

Instagram

Connect With Michelle On LinkedIn

View Michelle Matthews Calloway's profile on LinkedIn

Check Out Interracial Match!

InterracialMatch.com - the best interracial dating site!
InterracialMatch.com - the best interracial dating site!
The Swirl World Logo Flow Tee
The Swirl World Logo Flow Tee
by TheSwirlWorld
The Swirl World Logo Sticker
The Swirl World Logo Sticker
by TheSwirlWorld

Podcasts We Love

  • #SmartBrownVoices
  • Back2Us Radio Network
  • Behind The Brilliance
  • Black Girl Nerds
  • Design The Life You Want
  • Her Power Hustle
  • Interracial Jawn
  • Just Thinkin' Out Loud Media
  • Live By Design Inspiration Radio
  • Nerdy Black Chicks
  • The Freedom Biz
  • The Productive Woman
  • This Week In Blackness

Blogroll

  • 500and50
  • A Black Girl's Guide to Weight Loss
  • African American 101
  • Afrobella
  • Alaia Williams
  • Alphanista
  • Awesomely Luvvie
  • Baggage Reclaim
  • Beyond Black & White
  • Black Female Interracial Marriage
  • Black Girl Nerds
  • Black Girls Blogging
  • Black Women Deserve Better™
  • Black Women with Other Brothers
  • Black Women’s Interracial Relationship Circle
  • Bougie Black Girl
  • Chonilla
  • Courtney Herring
  • Elle Veg- All Things Vegetarian
  • For Harriet
  • Happy Black Woman
  • Interracial Dating Coach
  • Joyce L. Rodgers
  • Just Ask Kaye
  • Kaywanda Lamb
  • Littlefoot's Journey
  • LorMarie's Place
  • Married Girl in a Weird World
  • Mom's 'N Charge
  • MONETIZE THYSELF with Nicole Walters
  • Neecy's Nest
  • Oneika the Traveller
  • Petals
  • Socialite Dreams
  • Surviving Dating
  • Talk To Amber
  • The New Elegant Black Woman
  • The Social Graces & Savoir Faire Institute of Etiquette
  • The Sojourner’s Passport
  • The Style and Beauty Doctor
  • The Trendy Socialite
  • The Working Home Keeper
  • The World of Miss Glamtastic
  • Tia Delano
  • Water Cooler Convos

Copyright Terms:

All rights reserved. All work is the copyright of the respective owner, otherwise copyright ©2015 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, The Swirl World Podcast™, The Swirl World Inspiration Daily™, Swirl Nation™, all rights reserved, Dallas, TX, USA.
Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

Archives

  • October 2018 (1)
  • August 2018 (1)
  • May 2018 (1)
  • March 2018 (1)
  • February 2018 (1)
  • January 2018 (2)
  • December 2017 (1)
  • November 2017 (1)
  • October 2017 (1)
  • August 2017 (2)
  • July 2017 (2)
  • June 2017 (2)
  • May 2017 (2)
  • April 2017 (2)
  • March 2017 (1)
  • February 2017 (1)
  • January 2017 (2)
  • December 2016 (14)
  • November 2016 (3)
  • October 2016 (2)
  • September 2016 (1)
  • August 2016 (4)
  • July 2016 (9)
  • June 2016 (9)
  • May 2016 (11)
  • April 2016 (5)
  • March 2016 (11)
  • February 2016 (13)
  • January 2016 (7)
  • December 2015 (34)
  • November 2015 (32)
  • October 2015 (35)
  • September 2015 (34)
  • August 2015 (34)
  • July 2015 (32)
  • June 2015 (38)
  • May 2015 (40)
  • April 2015 (37)
  • March 2015 (37)
  • February 2015 (33)
  • January 2015 (37)
  • December 2014 (18)
  • November 2014 (7)
  • October 2014 (5)
  • September 2014 (8)
  • August 2014 (7)
  • July 2014 (12)
  • June 2014 (9)
  • May 2014 (3)
  • April 2014 (4)
  • March 2014 (8)
  • February 2014 (5)
  • January 2014 (7)
  • December 2013 (8)
  • November 2013 (2)
  • October 2013 (2)
  • September 2013 (4)
  • August 2013 (6)
  • July 2013 (30)
  • June 2013 (4)
  • May 2013 (5)
  • April 2013 (29)
  • March 2013 (5)
  • February 2013 (5)
  • January 2013 (31)
  • December 2012 (4)
  • November 2012 (29)
  • October 2012 (2)
  • August 2012 (1)
  • July 2012 (1)
  • June 2012 (3)
  • May 2012 (1)
  • April 2012 (1)
  • May 2011 (4)
  • April 2011 (5)
  • March 2011 (4)
  • February 2011 (4)
  • January 2011 (4)

Copyright © 2025 · The Swirl World™ LLC. All Rights Reserved. · Log in

%d