The Swirl World

Celebrating and Elevating Black Women - mind, body, soul and spirit!


For This, I Am Thankful

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Though this saying is not an absolute (I believe things can “go good” and stay good), it still provides food for thought: 

If anything, I believe we should strive to enjoy and fully maximize the good times in our life. We need to practice the art of appreciation, and cultivate an “attitude of gratitude.”

Any old body can point out areas of lack and bemoan how certain things in their life should be “better.”  Yet, it takes wisdom – and a certain amount of maturity – to relish the goodness that already exists. We can’t go wrong if we continue to build from these good places.

Sure, at times my cares and problems seem to close in on me. Clouds of negativity overshadow me and try to obstruct my view. When those times come, I make it a point to tell myself that somewhere in the world, there’s a woman who would love to have my life.

Instead of focusing on what I believe is wrong, I remind myself of the important things that are right with my life.

For this, I am thankful:

  • A vibrant faith
  • Good health
  • A sound mind and strong intellect
  • Loving family
  • Great friends
  • A grounded sense of self
  • A promising new career

Escapism? No, not at all. Situations are to be handled, and problems are to be fixed. When I use that mindset, the “bad” things really don’t last forever.

Onward and up! 

I’m thankful for the ebb and flow.

Life is good.  

 

Join in the Fray: What are you thankful for? 

I’m blogging every day in the month of January in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl, All rights reserved.

Show Me the Money!

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A very popular photo is currently circulating on Facebook.

It’s called “The 52 Money Challenge,” and a lot of people (including me) are intrigued.

The premise is very simple: Save the corresponding amount of dollars for each week of the year, and at the end of the year you’ll have saved the tidy sum of $1378.00.

 

 

I’m up to the challenge – how about you???

Join in the Fray: Do you have any concrete plans to save money in 2013? If so, please share!

I’m blogging every day in the month of January in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment.

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl, All rights reserved.

Who Says White Men Can’t Dance???

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One of the things I want to learn this year is Zydeco dancing.

This, my friends, is why:

I won’t tell y’all how many times I’ve watched this video. Yes, Home Girl has some great moves – no shade on her.

However.

I am not watching her moves.

(I’m just saying).

Coughs.

Sips some cold water.

Fans.

Clicks video again . . . .

(Hey! Don’t judge me!)

In Southwest Louisiana (also known as Cajun Country), MOST of the men – regardless of race or ethnicity) can dance like this.

This guy has some great moves he just needs a stylist.

So, who says White men can’t dance???

I rest my case. 

Join in the Fray: Can you  . . .  . dance?

I’m blogging every day in the month of January in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl, All rights reserved.

 

Bringing it to Life – Part II

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Living in the moment brings you

a sense of reverence for all of life’s blessings.

~Oprah Winfrey

So yesterday I shared with you that I used one of Rosetta Thurman’s  blog posts as a reflective exercise to plan my goals and strategies for 2013.

(By the way, if you haven’t subscribed to Rosetta’s blog, The Happy Black Woman,  stop now and go subscribe. In addition to her blog, you can join The Happy Black Woman Facebook Community, and follow Rosetta on Twitter. I enjoy her words of wisdom and inspiration, and I know you will, too. So get over there and subscribe. Right now.)

Questions 1-5 of Rosetta’s post centered on “What I Want to Bring Into My Life in 2013.” In questions 5-10, we were to hone in on how we want our life to look in 2013.

Here goes:

What I Want My Life to Look Like in 2013

  • What part of your life do you want to pay more attention to in 2013? 

Even though I have academic and professional pursuits, the part of my life that I want to “pay more attention to in 2013” is the way I eat. Yes, I believe in eating healthy, but for years I’ve toyed with converting to a vegetarian/vegan lifestyle. 

I don’t think I can do it 100%. (Honestly, I don’t want to. I love seafood, rice, and my Daddy’s cooking way too much).

What I’d like to do is arrive at what for me is a happy medium: 75% fruits and veggies, and 25% seafood and chicken. Correspondingly, I want to pay more attention to my physical body. I want to focus on and tighten up my abs. 

To hold myself accountable, I’ve taken a January 2, 2013 photo and will use it to compare on January 2, 2014. 

  • Who do you want to spend more time with in 2013? Who do you want to spend less time with in 2013? 

I’d like to spend more time with my bestie, Jacque, who lives in Ohio, and with friends in Dallas. Who do I want to spend less time with? This question is easily answered for me, because I won’t (and don’t) give my time to people who don’t deserve or warrant it. If I’m spending time with someone, it’s because I want to. Believe that. 

  • Which activities, habits or behaviors, if any, do you want to stop doing in 2013 because they no longer serve you?

As I said yesterday, I want to stop trying to understand situations/things/people (especially people) so much, and just go with the flow. For me, a huge aspect of trying to “understand” involves time spent trying to analyze these situations/things/people (especially people). For the most part, this type of analysis is fruitless a waste of time unproductive particularly if you’re trying to analyze people. This behavior does not serve me, so I’m going to do my best to just. stop. it.already. 

  • Which activities do you want to start and/or continue doing in 2013? 

I want to start teaching online, learning Adobe Photoshop, working on a book, and taking Zydeco dance classes. I want to continue blogging, working out, eating healthy and enhancing my time management skills.

  •   What will your ideal day look like next year?

My ideal day will start with a workout at the gym, and then on to the library or Starbucks for a productive day of work writing and/or engaging in one of the activities I listed above. Insert a nice lunch and dinner in this scenario, and include hanging out with my Mom and Dad. Whether anything/anybody else goes in this picture remains to be seen.

So there you have it, folks. Part of the beauty of life is that everything is not graven in stone. We do get to add or delete some things along the way. This exercise provided a great framework to start with. The fun – and the challenge – will be in seeing how much of this I actually do. Wish me luck!

Join in the Fray: What do you want your life to look like in 2013?

I’m blogging every day in the month of January in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl, All rights reserved.

Bringing it to Life – Part 1

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shareasimageLIFE

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.

Live the life you have imagined.

~Henry David Thoreau

Like millions of others, I’ve been in a reflective mood. Rosetta Thurman, blog mistress of The Happy Black Woman, put out an excellent blog post entitled “Preview 2013: Ten Journaling Questions to Help You Envision Your Ideal Life Next Year.” 

In the post Rosetta asks a series of questions designed to cause her readers to reflect on and examine their lives and goals. Responding to the questions gives readers clarity regarding what they want in their lives, which in turn should help them move their lives in desired directions.

These were the first five questions in Rosetta’s post (accompanied by my answers):

What I Want to Bring Into My Life in 2013

  • What do you deserve more of next year? What do you deserve less of next year?

I believe I deserve more of the ability to “go with the flow,” and less of “trying to figure everything out.” I have a tendency to operate under the belief that “If I don’t understand it, how is it helping?” I already know that holding that belief can be somewhat limiting – sometimes you just have to figure things out as you go along. Not only that, I have to accept the fact that there are some things I’ll never understand – and that it’s okay if I don’t. The important thing is to keep my life moving.

  • What personal milestone(s) do you most want to reach in your relationships, health, family, finances, education and/or lifestyle?

I’m on track with making healthier food choices and working out, so I have few difficulties in that area. My Mom and Dad enjoyed a much healthier year in 2012 than in 2011, and I pray that trend will continue. The personal milestone I want to reach for my finances is to work 100% from home. I’ve been able to do that for the most part. In 2012 I engaged in a good bit of pro bono social media consulting and editing work, yet I don’t plan to hand out any more free lunches in 2013. (Don’t judge me – business is business). If everything continues to go according to my academic plan (and, so far, so good) I will reach the personal milestone of earning a PhD in higher education administration. Chapters 1-3 are written and done. I’m in the interviewing stage now and preparing to synthesize my data.

Personal milestone I want to reach in relationships? Whelp, that’s another post for another day. Stay tuned.

  • What professional accomplishments (at work or in your business) do you want to see for yourself next year?

(See responses to Bullet 2).

  • What do you want to learn in 2013?

I’d like to learn more about the business aspect of freelance writing. I’d also like to become proficient in Adobe Photoshop.

  • What do you want to cross off your bucket list in 2013?

A trip to South Africa. South Africa is on my “International Travel” bucket list, and I’m planning to travel there in November.

Tomorrow, I’ll present Part II: What I Want My Life to Look Like in 2013. 

Join in the Fray: What do you want to bring into your life in 2013?

 

Copyright ©2015 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, Swirl Nation™. All rights reserved. Photo property of The Swirl World™.

I’m blogging every day in January to meet the NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading and feel free to comment!

Turning the Page

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“[Today], is the first blank page of a 365 page book. Write a good one.”

~Brad Paisley

Happy New Year to everyone!

Today is January 1, 2013. Whether we like it or not, we’ve turned the book on 2012 and forever closed the book. Sure, some of the choices and decisions we made in 2012 may affect us this year and in the years to come, but the book is closed because we can never go back. The rest of our life is ahead of us, and we have new pages to write in our Book of Life.

I’ve decided to kick off my 2013 blogging efforts by participating in Blogher’s January NaBloPoMo challenge. Those of you who follow the blog know that I participated in the November 2012 challenge with great success.

“Energy” is the theme for the January NaBloPoMo Challenge. How appropriate! I’m facing 2013 with a great deal of energy –and delight. I have some wonderful plans for the blog – shucks, for my life – and participating in the challenge is a built-in way to keep the momentum going.

What better way to start writing in my new 365 page book than by blogging?  I’m ready to “Write a good one” in 2013. How ‘bout you?

Join in the Fray: What plans have you made to “Write a good one” in 2013?

I’m blogging every day in the month of January as a participant in NaBloPoMo. Thanks for reading and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2012 Michelle Matthews Calloway, All rights reserved.

Why I Refuse to Give Up

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I don’t wanna be someone who walks away so easily
I’m here to stay and make the difference that I can make

~from I Won’t Give Up by Jason Mraz

Have you ever had anyone do something mean, malicious, or spiteful to you – all with the express purpose of sabotage? What about suffering at the hands of people who know they’re engaging in hurtful behaviors – those lovely people who are so selfish and self-centered that other people’s feelings obviously don’t matter? And by all means, let’s not forget what President Franklin D. Roosevelt termed “the vicissitudes of life;” you know, the hardships, bad breaks, and unfortunate circumstances that arise just as a result of being a member of the human race.

Things happen. I get that. Crappy, disgusting, and even heartbreaking things happen. I totally get that.

Some of these things are so crappy, disgusting, and heartbreaking that it seems the sole purpose for the events even occurring is to make you wash your hands of people/life, say “To heck with it!” and go live somewhere on a deserted island far, far away.

Well, guess what? It’s at those times, my friend, that I’m even more determined to keep swimming against the tide and moving forward.

When I was much younger, my personal mantra was, “I’d rather die than cry.” Many of you know about my background as a military brat. As a child, my life was always in flux, and it was nothing to change three schools in one year. I was forever the new kid on the block and constantly had to prove myself to both students and teachers. I encountered racism at a very early age, and my Dad drilled in my brothers and me to never let anyone intimidate us.

That “refuse to be intimidated” mindset carried over into my adulthood, and I can safely say that this mentality is as much a part of me as my name.

So, want me to shine and really show you what I know or what I can do? Want to make me try harder, excel in my endeavors, and otherwise bring life to the saying “Living well is the best revenge?”

Then try to intimidate me.

Want me to dig my heels in the sand, refuse to be dissuaded or moved, and day “Pffft!” to your face?

Then by all means, attempt to bully me.

I learned this week that I face very strong opposition to my advocacy of diversity. Not just strong opposition, but hateful opposition to my message regarding what I believe is the the necessity of Black women opening their minds and hearts to interracial dating, interracial relationships, and interracial marriage.

I’m not speaking of the opposition that comes from some paternalistic, misogynistic, “Power to the People” idiot spouting his hatred for “the man” in a Facebook thread. No; it goes deeper than that brand of petty, juvenile foolishness. I’m speaking of the kind of opposition that attempts to shut down my platform, and thus ultimately silence my voice.

Whelp, it ain’t gonna work.

You see, I don’t just believe in my message of diversity in relationship options, I live my message, and I want other Black women to do the same.    

I don’t want Black women to wither on the vine while waiting for a mate of a particular color or ethnicity – one who may never show up. Instead, I want Black women to come to the realization that they can thrive in the garden of love because in that garden, there’s an entire array of offerings they can select from.

And there you have it.

I refuse to give up, because the message of the viability of interracial dating and marriage options for Black women is much too important.

I refuse to give up, because I know my cause is greater than any jack-leg who wants me to stop.

I refuse to give up, because how can you truly believe in something (or someone) that you’re not willing to fight for?

I refuse to give up – because I’m just getting started.

Join in the Fray: What do you refuse to give up on?

Copyright © 2012 Michelle Matthews Calloway, All rights reserved.

What I Want You to Do

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I want you to enjoy this thing we call the holidays.

Regardless of your form of celebration, please do get some rest. Spend some quality time with the people you love the most – and spend some quality time with you.

Enjoy your meal(s), and try to not over-indulge.  (I know, right? I did say try.) Since we had such a huge meal for Thanksgiving, the Christmas Dinner Planners (a committee consisting of my cousin Janelle, my aunt Doe, and me) decided to scale back on the offerings for Christmas dinner. This year we’re dining on Creole jambalaya, Southern fried chicken, green bean casserole. various salads, and multiple desserts.

I’m doing something special: I’m making Cajun crackers! 

 

It’s too late for you to try them in time for Christmas (this photo is from Day 1), but here’s the recipe so you can have them with your New Year’s meal:

Recipe:

1 large pickle jar (or other wide-mouth jar. You can also use an extra-large Ziplock bag if you don’t have a jar).

1 box Saltine crackers

1 cup canola oil

1 package ranch dressing mix

2 heaping tablespoons red pepper flakes

Place the 4 packs of Saltines in the jar or Ziplock bag.

Mix the wet/dry ingredients together and stir well.

Pour the mixture over the crackers and seal the jar.

For the next three days, occasionally roll the jar (or carefully flip the Ziplock bag).

Open the jar on the third day and serve. These taste great plain, with cream cheese, or with pepper jelly.

Merry Christmas, people. Have fun today!

Join in the Fray: How are you celebrating today?

 Copyright © 2012 Michelle Matthews Calloway, All rights reserved.

Gone Too Soon

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Like a shooting star

Flyin’ across the room

So fast so far

You were gone too soon

You’re part of me

And I’ll never be

The same here without you

You were gone too soon

 

Shine on! Shine on!

You were gone too soon

Shine on! Shine on!

You were gone too soon

Shine on! Shine on!

You were gone too soon

 

~From Gone Too Soon by Simple Plan

*The Bible tells us that “love is of God,” and even goes on to tell us that “God is love.”

Because I believe the Bible, I’ll acquiesce to those descriptors and definitions of love and do my best to lay my personal thoughts aside.

You see, based on my personal thoughts, there are times when I think love is a beastly thing, and best to be avoided, because on a good day, love, though sweet, is yet wrapped up in risk. On a bad, bad, bad day, love hurts. Love, particularly when it is wrenched away from you by force, can cripple you; bring you to your knees; devastate you – and even break you.

Friday, December 14, 2012 is indelibly stamped in our collective memory as one of those bad, bad, bad days. Since Thanksgiving I’ve been working as a contract 4th grade teacher at a rural elementary school. The ages of 4th graders generally range from 9-10; occasionally a kid will turn 11 during the school year, depending on the age the child started school.

Teaching 4th graders is an extreme stretch for me. I currently teach continuing education classes at the University of Louisiana, and I’m a certified executive trainer. I’ve served as a Dean of Women’s Education for a faith-based organization and taught non-traditional adult learners in a variety of subjects. I’m now interviewing participants for the research portion of my doctoral dissertation working on a PhD in higher education administration. Needless to say, working with 4th graders is a huge s-t-r-e-t-c-h.

When driving home, I thought, “Good Lord! One more week – this assignment can’t end soon enough!”

Needless to say, I was shocked and dismayed when I made it to my parents’ house. My school is in a rural area and internet access is limited (never mind the fact that there’s no way you even think about getting on the internet when you’re trying to manage 21 kids).

My Dad was in his usual spot in front of the television. I remember wondering why my Dad’s expression was so pained when he turned to look at me; he’s usual very jovial and ready to hear about my adventures with the students.

My Dad tersely told me what happened in Newtown, Connecticut; I dropped into a chair. I stared mutely at the screen as CNN replayed President Obama’s initial words.

And then I lost it.

I thought about the 21 students I’ve come to know. As much as they get on my last nerves at times, I know that I love them. I may or may not see any of them again after December 21, yet I know that I care about their future; I’m concerned about what will happen to them. Who will they grow up to be? What will their lives be like?

And now, for a reason that only God truly knows, in addition to six adults and himself, a gunman had ruthlessly murdered 20 children who were even younger than the ones in my class.

Do I have some psychological theory to offer, or some religious babble? No, I don’t. The same love that carried with it so much joy is the same love that now brings grief and pain. Along with the rest of the country, my heartfelt condolences and prayers go out to all the families touched by this tragedy.

This week, as I returned to my 4th graders for  my final week, I took pains to be a bit more patient, and gentle. I was more generous with comments of “Great job!” and “There you go!” and “You’re a Rock Star!”

And when I leave today, one week after the tragedy, I’ll be sure to ruffle their hair, pull their pig tails, and hug them very, very, tightly; each and every one.

http://youtu.be/3jDHw4wxuE0

 Join in the fray: Feel free to share your thoughts and feelings regarding this tragedy. If there’s a small child who you love and appreciate, tell me about him/her.

Copyright © 2012 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, All rights reserved.

We’ve Got a New Attitude – Here’s A Sneak Peek!

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Take a look around at our new digs!

I hope you like what you see. Though it was hectic trying to keep up, the November NaBloPoMo Challenge provided an excellent and much-needed opportunity to focus on the blog. As a result, I was motivated to move forward with making some cosmetic changes and pulling up stakes to a new web home. Of course we still have some changes to make to spruce up the place to its fullest potential, some painting to do, and some furniture to move around . . . but hopefully you get the idea of where we’re going. 

Other changes are already underway. A Swirl Girl is coming at you bold and brassy in 2013 with discussions about men, women, relationships, and Swirling (which, for you Newbies, is a term used to describe interracial dating/marriage).  We plan to cross all the racial divides that try to stand in the way of finding – and maintaining – true love. We’ve got a new attitude on life and interracial love, so expect more transparency as well.

We’re also going to take closer looks at the hot topics and hot-button issues of the day, with posts on empowerment, make-up, fashion, and sports (gasp!) sprinkled in for good measure. You can also expect guest posts from some of the most interesting people in the interracial blogosphere.  

Our Twitter and Facebook family is constantly growing, and in 2013 we want to take Pinterest and Instagram by storm (that translates into “Expect more photos!”).

We’re in this thing together, you and me. Thanks for your faithful readership. I look forward to continued learning – and growing – with you. 

Our “go live” date is Tuesday, January 2013 (which, amazingly, is only a few weeks away).

I’m ready – are you??? Leggo!

Join in the Fray: In what area(s) do you have a “new attitude?”

Copyright © 2012 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, All rights reserved.