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The Swirl World

Celebrating and Elevating Black Women - mind, body, soul and spirit!


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What Do Australian Men Think Of Black Women And Beauty?

February 10, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 3 Comments

cropped black woman faceThis week’s question on Monday’s With Mike addresses the opinion of Australian men concerning the beauty of Black Women.

“Black Women are constantly bombarded with preset definitions of “beauty” and in many cases criticized for their looks by men of the same ethnicity. What makes a Black Woman attractive/appealing to you in particular, and to Australian men in general?”

Mike’s response:

It’s kind of hard to describe why you feel the attraction to a particular person or people, or describe why you have a type you prefer.

I guess for me it’s something I feel in the marrow of my bones, just an attraction I have always had. If you wanted to go into specifics I think it is likely to do with how whenever I see Black Women, it seems like there is an inner light radiating out of them. I see it come through their eyes and skin, and it’s just beautiful.

It’s also the way they hold themselves; their style and grace. Also, they know how to hold a great conversation I’ve found, and have some excellent perspectives on life different to my own – which is great as it helps me see things in a different light.

For Australian men I think those who want to date BW usually would feel similar; love a BW’s special style of beauty and grace, as well as the fact that you’re different, stand out, and are exotic and mysterious. Men love that, they love to follow and find out things about people from different places, especially Australians as we’re all stuck down here on this massive island with no way to get out except via boat or plane! If you come to us, we’re just that much happier!

Cheers!

MIKE M - THIS ONEGot a question for Mike? Send it to us via inbox on The Swirl World’s Facebook page or by email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Follow Mike on Twitter @500and50 and read his blog at 500and50.com, or message him on his 500and50 Facebook page.

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

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Filed Under: Mondays With Mike, Uncategorized Tagged With: appeal, appealing, attractive, attractiveness, Australia, Australian men, beautiful, beauty, Black women, Black. White, dating, exotic, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, interracial romance, love, Marriage, mysterious, swirl, swirling, white

How To Fall In Love And Get Married – Even After A Bad First Date!

January 24, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 2 Comments

We currently have almost 6900 fans on The Swirl World’s Facebook page. The conversations are lively and fans are generous with their “Likes” of our posts.

Because our fans are so terrific – we have the BEST Facebook fans, bar none – today we are launching a new feature:

Fantastic Fans!

Each Friday we’ll share a mini profile, funny story or experience highlighting one of our fans.

For our inaugural launch, we introduce to you Karla and her husband Don.

Karla and Don

Karla and Don are an amazing retired military couple (Navy) who met on active duty. They recount the story of their first date – each from their own point of view!

Our First Date Story:

Karla: My husband and I had been working together for about a month. Our conversations had been wonderful, humorous, educational and witty. Unlike most Naval aviators, he didn’t have the arrogance nor was he pompous. The zipper on his flight jacket had broken so he asked if I could repair it. He knew I could sew and had a sewing machine that could work leather. When I gave it back, he asked if he could repay me by taking me to dinner. I said yes.

Don: I knew how I felt about her when I met her but she kept talking about arrogant Naval aviators. I had to figure out a way to get her out to dinner without making it sound like a date (even though it was!). She agreed to repair my jacket and I, in the meantime, asked around to find out where the best restaurant was located. We were at a Naval base out in the boonies of Dahlgren, Virginia; not exactly a dating paradise. Someone told me about a seafood restaurant in Stafford, VA so I made a reservation there. I knew Karla loved seafood.

Karla: I was impressed with his manners. He opened my car door for me and we set off. I was living in Fredericksburg, at the time so Stafford was about ten minutes down the interstate. We finally found the place and, needless to say, I wasn’t impressed. It was out in the middle of nowhere, dark, and the “parking lot” was a dirt space covered with gravel and one naked light bulb hanging over it. The place was basically a roadhouse; the country-western music was so loud, it went beyond the walls of the place. I turned to Don and said, “If I don’t see any other Black people in here, we’re leaving.” It just looked like the stereotypical hangout for something really bad.

Don: As soon as I pulled into the “parking lot”, I wanted to kick myself; I knew I shouldn’t have listened to the guys at work. It looked like the headquarters for the KKK. I thought because it was near Quantico Marine Corps base, it would be fine but it was a “joint”. I felt like an idiot, taking her there on our first date but didn’t know what else to do. When she gave me fair warning, I felt even worse. I wanted to turn around, right there, but she said we had to chance it. She was trying to cheer me up!

Karla: We walked into the place and, yeah, it looked like a honky-tonk. We were about to turn and leave when the server came out and said, “Hi, y’all! Come on in! Two for dinner?” She was very friendly and welcoming. When we got to the dining room, both of us were relieved to see a diverse group eating and drinking in the place, chatting with each other and looking happy. It wasn’t a seafood place but the food they had was pretty good. Don was a complete gentleman, pulling out my chair, ordering for me off the menu, very solicitous. After dinner, we decided to go and see a movie. I wanted to stay in his company a while longer.

Don: I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw the restaurant wasn’t complete disaster. Like Karla said, the food was good and her company was so amazing, I wanted to be with her as long as possible. When we arrived at the Cinema DeLuxe, the only movie that had just started was “Home Alone’. Strike two. I couldn’t believe my bad luck. How was I supposed to impress her sitting in a kid’s movie? I had been hoping for something romantic. When I asked her if it was okay, she said yes! Woot-woot!

Karla and Don: So, we saw the movie and we laughed until we cried. It was fun. Despite everything, our first date was a blast. We dated for three years and then married. We’ve been married for almost 21 years now and every anniversary, we eat at the restaurant of our dreams (definitely not the “joint”!) and we watch “Home Alone”. We can laugh about it now.

 

 Karla and Don, we’ll take a “bad” first date every time – especially when it leads to a marriage of 20+ years!  😉

Join in the Fray: Have you ever had a “bad” date that turned out to be good?

 

ASG 191 x 200 ASwirlGirlWant to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

All rights reserved. Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, Dallas, TX, USA. Story and photo used with permission.

 

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Filed Under: BW/WM, Fantastic Fans, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black women, Black. White, Don, Facebook, fantastic fans, first date, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, interracial romance, Karla, military, Navy, swirl, swirling

“I’m The Product of a Persian Swirl!”

January 15, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 4 Comments

This week at The Swirl World on Facebook we received an in-box from Merieta Bayati, one of our new fans.

Turns out Merieta is the product of a Persian Swirl!

She says, “My mom is Black and my father is Persian. They met in college in Jackson, MS where I was born and raised. Here’s a photo of my entire family.”

Merieta Bayati - Family

Woot Woot!

I know we keep saying this, but it bears repeating:

Here in The Swirl World, our goal is to highlight Swirl couples and share their STORIES. So much of what we read and see in the media concerning Black Women is negative. We intend to dispel the myths and negate the stereotypes by showcasing Women of Color in loving relationships who are loved, respected and appreciated.

When you come to The Swirl World, you won’t be bombarded with drama and negativity because in our world, we celebrate and lift up “Ordinary People . . .  Extraordinary Love.” 

We’re going to feature Mr. and Mrs. Bayati in an upcoming post, but today we want to feature their daughter Merieta.

Merieta Bayati - 1

Tell us a little of yourself, background. Besides being quite beautiful and talented, tell us a little about your education, what you are doing now, do you currently have a boyfriend, hubby and is it a swirl situation?

I was born and raised in Jackson, MS, but I currently reside in Hamden, CT. I hold a BS in Business Management and in addition to working in Human Resources at Yale University; I am a Motivational Speaker and Singer.

My days are usually spent planning events; speaking to young girls about self-esteem, business, and helping them realize their full potential.

As a single mother of an 8-year-old son, I do lots of juggling and multi-tasking to keep my life balanced. By choice, I am currently single, but I absolutely do not discriminate when it comes to love. I have no idea if it will be a swirling situation or not when I meet Mr. Right J. My parents have definitely taught me that anyone can fall in love.

What was it like growing up in a Persian/Black American home? Were you the only Swirl family in your community/neighborhood? How was it for you in school? How did your brothers and sisters adjust or did any of you even notice?

Growing up in the Bayati household was definitely interesting. We were that crazy “mixed” family that everyone knew, but also loved to be around. The boys all knew not to come near me because my strict father had them terrified. The Persian culture is very different from the Americans so that was a little tough in my pre-teen and teen years. I didn’t understand what made me so different from the rest.

For the most part, school was fine and people accepted me and my siblings for who we were. But there were those moments when people would ask, “What are you?”, “Is your daddy white?”, “Are y’all Spanish?”, “Why is your hair like that?”, “Is that Black lady your nanny?”

Mind you; we grew up in a very racist state and interracial dating was not common. After years of hearing the same things, it just became a normal part of life. I would often wonder what makes me so special and why did people make such a big deal about what my race was. I only knew that I was “different” because my peers pointed that out.

It wasn’t until my late teens that I finally became confident enough and accepted myself for who God created me as. We all are human beings regardless of race. When it comes to love, I see no borders whatsoever. My mom always taught me to be proud of both cultures and never let people categorize me as just “Black” or just “Persian,” but to know that I am BOTH.

What are your long-term goals and ambitions?

*I plan to release my first book in Spring or early Summer of 2014, “The Godlie Girl’s Guide to Living a Fabulous Fulfilled Life.” There are so many perceptions that because you become Christian and now love God, that your life has to be boring….WRONG! I’m having the time of my life!

*As the founder for Camp Girlie Girl, A Place for Girls and Their Moms ™, I would like to someday offer the camp to others throughout the country…but I’m taking one step at a time for now.

Merieta and participants from Camp Girlie Girl

Merieta and participants from Camp Girlie Girl

*I am looking forward to advancing my education by soon pursuing a Master’s in Business Administration and growing my personal brand as a Speaker, Singer and Social Media Consultant. To learn more about me and what I do, you can visit my website at MerietaBayati.com.

Xoxo and so much love!

Merieta Bayati - 3If you’d like to learn more about Merieta and connect with her, visit her on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Instagram or her blog Single Saved and Searching.

Stay tuned for a full profile on the Bayati Family!

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

All rights reserved. Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, Dallas, TX, USA. Photos used with permission.

 

 

 

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Filed Under: Mixed Race, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black women, Black. White, dating, Girlie Girl, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, interracial romance, Marriage, Merieta Bayati, Persian, swirl, swirling

How Do You Define The Reality Of Love?

December 4, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 1 Comment

If you were asked to describe “The Reality Of Love,” what would be your response?

This week’s couple, Valentai and Justin Cook reflect the reality of love – but not for the reason you might expect.

I’m especially excited about this installment of “Ordinary People – Extraordinary Love” for several reasons.

First, Valentai and Justin Cook are a military family (Justin is a Marine). Valentai is Black and Justin is Irish-German.

Needless to say, we at The Swirl World love and appreciate our men and women in uniform. Not only that, as a former Army brat I know what military life is like and I’m acutely aware of the sacrifices required of every member of the family. Kudos to all who serve their country!

Second, Justin and Valentai are together because her brother (1) loved her, (2) wanted to see her happy and (3) was open-minded enough to realize that love comes in more than one color.

That’s right: Valentai’s brother brought them together.

The Cook’s Sweet Story 

Valentai says:

“We live on Camp Pendleton in California. We’ve been together for 2 1/2 years. We have two children, both boys. Their ages are 7-years old (Albert) and 2-months old (Dylan). 

Valentai Cook 1

We met through my brother who is also in the Marines. 

I knew I was in love with Justin when I saw how wonderful he was with my son. I knew he’d make an amazing husband and father. 

What I like most about him is his kindness and determination to always make the best out of whatever life throws us.” 

Valentai’s Advice

“My advice I would give to anyone in or seeking an interracial relationship would be to know what you want 100% and don’t let anyone tell you they you don’t deserve happiness. People will always be judgmental, but as long as you and that special someone are happy, then nothing can break that love. “

The Reality Of Love

When someone – be it family member, friend, neighbor, coworker, whomever – genuinely loves you, he or she will want the best for you.

They won’t begrudge your happiness – and they won’t try to dictate it, either.

Valentai’s brother recognized that Justin, his fellow Marine was a quality man.

So much so, he introduced him to his sister.

There was no haterade flowing or blocking going on – just a loving brother who wanted to see his sister happy.

The reality of love is that it always seeks the good of its object – no matter what.

Does this depiction of love reflect your reality? If not, what are you going to do about it?

NOTE: Valentai informed me that Justin just left for deployment, so let’s be sure to send lots of prayers and love to the Cook family. We look forward to hearing more from this couple and wish them and their sons all the best.

2-month old Dylan Cook

2-month old Dylan Cook

 

Join in the Fray: How’s your “love” life?

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved. Photos used with permission.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Filed Under: BW/WM, OPEL, Series Tagged With: Army, Army brat, Black women, Black. White, brother, brothers, couples, extraordinary love, Family, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, love, Marine, military, military family, OPEL, ordinary people, reality, sons, swirl, swirling, white

Why You Need To Buckle Up

July 7, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 1 Comment

MP900321084 (1)

You need to buckle up because this week I will literally be on the move – I’m moving!

Yeppers, A Swirl Girl has some new digs in a new town. I’ll tell you more about the move, and this week you’ll also learn about my new “social experiment,” and how you can participate.

Lots of good stuff on the way.

Put your seat belt on, already!

Join in the Fray: In what way(s) are you “on the move?”

I’m blogging every day in the month of July in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

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Filed Under: NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black women, Black. White, BlogHer, buckle, buckle up, dating, experiment, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, move, move forward, move out, moving, NaBloPoMo, socal experiment, social, swirl, swirling

Roundup Report!

July 6, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 2 Comments

keep-calm-and-visit-a-food-truck-1

Whelp, I’m back from the Food Truck Roundup, and once again, I had a BLAST!

The skies were extremely overcast, and a cool breeze was blowing – a marked difference from the hot, pizza oven weather we experienced in June.

I was there to cover the event for the magazine. Once I went off the clock, it was time to bring out the Swirl Cam and survey the crowd for Swirlers.

Alas, the pickings were slim. I was hoping to see a BW/non-BM combination, yet true to form I only saw one Swirl couple – a BM/WW pair.

Ah, well.

Fortunately, I have lots of events to attend as the late summer-into-fall festival season gets underway so the Swirl Cam will be in full force.

Meanwhile, here are a couple of the sights and sounds that I can share from the Roundups I’ve attended so far:

An interesting – and energetic – band:

FOOD TRUCK BAND CROP

From the June Round Up:

Splash Fountain for the kids

Splash Fountain for the kids

Viva La Waffle! Everything they serve – from sweet to savory – is encased in a waffle.

VIVA LA WAFFLE

Stay tuned for the full story coming later in the August issue of Acadiana Lifestyle magazine!

Join in the Fray: How’s the Food Truck scene in your area?

I’m blogging every day in the month of July in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

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Filed Under: Festivals and Events, NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black, Black women, Black. White, BlogHer, food, food truck, food truck roundup, interracial, interracial relationships, NaBloPoMo, swirl, swirling, white

Headed To The Food Truck Round Up!

July 5, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 2 Comments

Hibachi Hero

If you’re a Facebook friend or follow me on Twitter or Instagram you know this time last month I was out and about attending the Food Truck Round Up at Parc Lafayette.

Whelp, tomorrow I’m headed back for more food and fun! Last month the sun was blazing and though it was hot. as. Hades out there we managed to snag some delicious food and had a great time.

In addition to sampling the fare I’ll be on the lookout with my Swirl Cam in hand to see how many Swirlers are taking part in the good eats available on 15 or more Food Trucks.

One thing I’ve noticed since being back in Louisiana is the fact that Swirling in Acadiana seems to overwhelmingly consist of BM/WW couples. That’s all well and good – Hooray for them!

My focus, however is BW/non-BM couples so my eyes will be peeled to see if I spot any couples of that variation.

*Crosses fingers*

Stay tuned for the full report!

Join in the Fray: What’s the Swirl couple ratio in your area?

I’m blogging every day in the month of July in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

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Filed Under: Festivals and Events, NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black women, BlogHer, couples, dating, Facebook, food, food truck, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, Louisiana, NaBloPoMo, Parc Lafayette, round up, swirl, swirling

Get Ready for HOT LATIN MEN!

May 10, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 5 Comments

Book Cover_Fight for Love

Last week’s guest post from Miranda Santiago on Swirling with Latin men struck a chord of interest that is still reverberating.

Because a lot of you want to know more about Swirling with Hot Latin Men – (and for Pete’s sake, who can blame you???) – this week I’m presenting yet another guest post, this time from best-selling author Delaney Diamond. Delaney specializes in romance novels featuring between Black women and – you guessed it:

Hot. Latin. Men.

Yum.

Delaney is kind enough to share Chapters 1 & 2 from Fight for Love, book 2 in her Hot Latin Men series. These are stand alone books, so it’s totally ok to read the second book first.

Here’s the premise for the novel:

A former pro wrestler fights to hold on to the woman he lost, but still loves, and the son he never knew existed.

 Science teacher Rebekah Jamison lives a quiet life in the suburbs of Atlanta. Devastated by a tabloid scandal nine years ago, she ended her marriage to the man her parents never approved of.

 Rafael Lopez, former professional wrestler and “Sexiest Athlete Alive,” regrets the lapse in judgment that caused him to lose his wife. He shows up unannounced one day with some startling news, but he gets a surprise of his own. He finds out he’s a father. To get to know his son, he whisks him and Rebekah off to his home in the Hollywood Hills for the summer.

Settle down for an intriguing read – and be sure to give Delaney a shout out in the comments!

 

Chapter One

Rebekah Jamison wiped sweat from her cheeks with the back of her forearm so she wouldn’t scratch her face with the rough, dirty gloves she wore. The edges of her headscarf were damp. The cut-off denim shorts and loose-fitting tank top had seen better days, but they were comfortable, and she preferred to wear as little clothing as possible when she worked in the yard. The vegetable garden was a treat, but it could also be quite taxing in the Georgia heat.

“Mom, look!” her eight-year-old called from a few feet away. He was grinning broadly, holding a worm in his palm for her to see.

“Sweetie, put that down,” Rebekah scolded from her position on her knees.

She had encouraged him to help her plant the fall vegetables, but he was turning out to be a distraction she didn’t need. Every so often he would wander away from the task, digging in the dirt where she didn’t tell him to dig and chasing after wasps and butterflies that flitted around the small, privacy-fenced yard.

She probably would have been farther along if he weren’t “working” with her, but she enjoyed their moments together. Nine months out of the year she taught middle school kids about conservation, alternative energy, and green living as a science teacher in metro Atlanta. The biggest perk of working for the school system was that she could spend the summers with the favorite man in her life.

Rebekah rose to her feet and dusted off her knee pads. “Maybe it’s time for a break,” she announced. She removed the large straw hat providing protection from the scorching sun.

“Can I have some sweet tea?” His brown face looked up at her expectantly. He was overdue for a haircut. The loose, dark curls on his head were thick and unruly. With his cute, angelic face and big gray eyes staring up at her, she couldn’t refuse him the indulgence this time.

“Yes, but only if you drink a glass of water right after.”

“I will, I will,” Ricardo promised, racing past her toward the back door of the kitchen.

She would make sure he drank water the rest of the day. He had developed a sweet tooth of late, and she wanted to break him from the habit of sugary drinks. Besides, he needed to stay hydrated since he spent so much time outdoors.

Rebekah removed her knee pads and gloves and circled the small area where this year’s crop of summer vegetables was planted. She smiled. Last year she’d had enough squash, tomatoes, cucumbers, and green peppers to share with her parents and a couple of neighbors. This year’s crop appeared just as healthy and bountiful.

The ringing of the doorbell brought her head up.

“I got it!”

“Ricky, don’t open the door unless you know who it is first.”

He knew better, but it didn’t hurt to remind him. She hoped it was the delivery she was expecting from her sister, Samirah. They were souvenirs for the family from her latest jaunt overseas. She often sent them nice gifts from her travels. Rebekah sometimes envied her younger sister’s carefree lifestyle. Samirah had a culinary degree from Le Cordon Bleu, and she traveled the world, earning her keep as a cook in restaurants or private residences.

“Mom, come quick!”

Rebekah dropped everything in her hands and raced into the kitchen, uncertain if Ricardo’s tone expressed excitement or anxiety.

He stood in front of the open front door, staring at someone outside. As she came closer, he caught sight of her and began to hop up and down excitedly, pointing with his hand to the still-invisible person on the other side of the threshold.

“Look! Look! It’s La Sombra, Mom! It’s La Sombra!” he screamed excitedly.

Rebekah skidded to a halt, her feet no longer sure what to do since her brain temporarily ceased to function. Heavy knots piled up in her stomach, and her broken breath shivered past her suddenly parched lips.

It couldn’t be him.

Ricardo’s face was alight with glee, and his uncontrolled excitement was a comical contrast to the heavy dread pressing down on her. She moved slowly toward the door, closing her hands into tight fists to calm their shaking.

When the person came into view, her stomach muscles clenched into even tighter, more painful knots.

There was no doubt who the man was at the door. It had been nine years since she’d last seen him in person, but his image appeared on the occasional magazine, and she’d read articles about him online. Even if he weren’t a public figure and she had wanted to forget him, it would have been impossible because of the pint-sized, darker version of him bouncing up and down like a rubber ball just a few feet away.

La Sombra had been the alias he used when he was a professional wrestler. The nickname, which meant “the Shadow” in Spanish, had stuck because of his dark complexion. His real name was Rafael Lopez, and he was her ex-husband.

His gaze lifted from the small boy before him and settled on her. From the firming of his sculpted mouth and the hard glint that came into his gray eyes, she knew he’d already deduced the obvious.

The young boy whose excited reception he had just received was the son he had never known existed.

Chapter Two

Rebekah placed her hand on Ricardo’s shoulder. “Ricky, go upstairs, sweetie,” she said. “I need to have a word with…” She didn’t even know what to call him “…with Mr. Sombra.”

“But Mom…”

She gave him her stern face that meant she wasn’t playing around. “Now.”

With a heavy pout, Ricardo stomped toward the staircase.

“Ricardo Lopez,” Rebekah said, “do you want me to follow you and give you something to stomp about?”

He froze with his hand on the wooden stair rail and peered over his shoulder at Rebekah with a hurt expression on his face. “Sorry, Mom,” he said quietly. Twisting his head further without turning completely around, he looked at Rafael, who hadn’t made a move during the short tantrum. “Please excuse my behavior, Mr. Sombra. My mother raised me better than that.”

Rebekah almost smiled as he repeated almost verbatim words she’d said to him on other occasions. His pitiful expression almost undid her, but she kept her face in an unhappy scowl.

“Will I be able to get his autograph?” her son asked.

“Yes,” Rafael interjected. He stepped into the house, and the expansive width of his broad frame blocked most of the outdoor light. “Just as soon as your mother and I have a little chat.”

Ricardo’s face broke out into a happy grin, and he scampered up the stairs.

Rebekah’s heart kick-started with a thump, the matter-of-fact tone doing nothing to allay the frisson of fear that trickled down her spine. Even more disconcerting was her reaction to the deep, seductive sound of his accented voice. It scrambled her brain and sent unwelcome vibrations running through her.

She didn’t dare look at him, worried he’d see every emotion she felt. Shame. Excitement. Anxiety. She needed time to gather her thoughts so she could have a coherent conversation. The shock of his unannounced arrival sharply tipped the balance of her normally ordered day toward disorder.

Deafening silence descended between them, and Rafael was the first to break it. “We need to talk.”

As he shut the door on the outside world, Rebekah finally ventured a look at him. His thick black hair was closely shorn to his head. At five-feet-seven, she wasn’t a small woman, but Rafael dwarfed her at six-foot-three. He had an incredible physique, with muscles so densely packed the linen button-down shirt couldn’t conceal them. His muscles were tightly honed from years of weight lifting and hours of exercise, creating a fighting machine of flesh-covered steel. Each meaty bicep was the size of one of her thighs, and his lean fingers looked long enough to span the width of a basketball.

“Sexiest Athlete Alive,” headlines had proclaimed two years in a row. More recently, his rugged good looks could be seen smiling into the camera endorsing agave nectar, an all-natural sweetener exported from Mexico.

When his dark gaze rested on her, the last remnants of rational thought disappeared like a puff of smoke in a blast of wind. For a few seconds, her breath caught in her chest, and she was once again the seventeen-year-old girl who had anxiously awaited her eighteenth birthday so she could run away and marry the man of her dreams. He became the twenty-year-old rough neck from south of the border who had captured her heart and convinced her not to judge a book by its cover. His coarse exterior had disguised a tender heart and loving disposition—or so she’d thought. Her disapproving parents had been correct in their initial assessment of him. Rafael had changed once they were married, and not for the better.

“What are you doing here?” Rebekah asked.

The cold stare of his eyes lanced through her. “Is that any way to greet a man you haven’t seen in almost ten years?”

Of course not. If her beating heart had anything to say about it, he would have received a much warmer greeting. “You came here unannounced, uninvited to my house. Something tells me this isn’t a social call.”

“I came because I had something I needed to tell you—in person,” he said. “I didn’t want to tell you over the phone. I’m on my way to New York and decided to stop over in Atlanta to see you.”

“You could’ve called first, instead of popping up unannounced. As you pointed out, it has been almost ten years.”

His lips thinned in irritation. “For the record, once I tracked you down, I did call, but you don’t have voicemail, so I couldn’t leave a message. Since I couldn’t get in touch with you, I figured it was easier to show up.”

Rebekah could have kicked herself. She had ordered the VOIP phone service over a week ago, but since she was a technophobe, she had delayed setting up the voicemail.

“I have caller I.D. I never saw—”

“My number is private. You wouldn’t see anything.”

Rebekah swallowed. Since he’d seen Ricardo, she could understand his antagonism, but she had reasons of her own to feel antagonistic toward him. “What’s so important you had to tell me in person?”

“Are we going to have this conversation in the middle of your foyer? Is your southern hospitality only reserved for people you’re expecting?”

Without waiting for a response, he brushed past her toward the kitchen, and she caught a whiff of an unfamiliar cologne. She followed him on unsteady legs, conscious of the fact she looked as bad as he did good. While he was dressed comfortably in a fine linen shirt and crisply pressed dark slacks, she was self-conscious about her unattractive gardening attire and pink cotton headscarf. She wasn’t wearing a stitch of makeup, and she was certain she must smell sweaty after working in the yard.

In the kitchen, Rafael leaned against the counter, staring at her as she leaned against the counter across the room. His arms hung loosely at his sides, but she could sense the leashed tension in him.

“Well?” she said to break the uneasy silence.

She was never good at remaining quiet, and he was the complete opposite. He was the quintessential strong, silent type.

“Is he mine?”

She hadn’t expected him to ask that question first, but it was inevitable. “Yes.”

Rafael’s hands clenched into fists, and he pushed away from the counter and took two long strides toward her. Rebekah brought her hands up in a defensive motion, drawing in a sharp breath. His steps came to an abrupt halt.

“I wasn’t going to hit you,” he rasped.

“You’re not exactly known for your long fuse.” Her rapid heartbeat began to slow down.

“I would never hit a woman, no matter how much she infuriates me.” His cold, angry eyes stared into hers. “How could you do that?” he demanded in a rough voice. “How could you keep him a secret from me?”

Now came the hard part—the inadequate explanation she couldn’t even justify to herself. “I did try to contact you, but you were always traveling. It was impossible to get in touch with you.”

“You didn’t try hard enough.” He found her guilty and delivered a cutting indictment. His eyes were filled with accusation. He swiveled on his heel and stalked over to the door. He stared out the window at the backyard, his shoulders rigid and his neck muscles taut. “Dios, Rebekah, how could you not tell me?”

The beseeching sound of his voice tore at her conscience. There was nothing she could say to make what she had done acceptable. She had tried to contact him, but he was right. She hadn’t tried hard enough. They were separated and on their way to divorce when she’d found out about her pregnancy.

She had been back in Atlanta at her parents’ house, and he had already moved to California with Marty Luger. Marty had managed Rafael’s career from the time he discovered him at a local fight club in Las Vegas. They had moved there after she graduated from high school, and they got married in a small chapel off the strip.

At first, it seemed the best decision was to remain quiet. His life on the road had concerned her, and his career was taking off. With her youthful dreams crushed under reality’s ruthless boot, she had felt like an extra appendage. She was certain the last thing he wanted was to be saddled with a child, and she certainly hadn’t wanted him to think she was using their son to make claims on his impending fortune.

“I was protecting him.”

“From his own father?” Rafael grated.

“Yes! I didn’t want him exposed to your lifestyle—the drugs, the women, the drinking, and the brutality of that thing you call a sport.”

“It doesn’t excuse what you did.” His eyes lowered to her belly. “You robbed me of the chance of watching your body swell with my child and robbed me of the first years of his life.”

His bitter words were like lashes across her conscience. “I was nineteen. I didn’t know what to do at the time. It was the wrong decision, I know, but I did what I thought was best.”

“Is that all you can come up with?”

“It’s the truth, Rafe.”

His gaze swept her face. “What about later? What about when you turned twenty-one? Or twenty-two? Or even now, at twenty-eight? When exactly did you decide it was the wrong decision? When I walked through the door just now and saw him standing there, looking so much like me it’s a wonder he didn’t figure it out himself?”

“Fine!” She pushed away from the counter to face him squarely, trying to quell the trembling in her stomach. “What I did was wrong. But let’s get one thing straight, if you had been the husband you were supposed to be—if you hadn’t done what you did—I wouldn’t have hesitated to tell you about Ricardo, and you would have been by my side the entire time, instead of out in California”—she waved her hand in a sweeping gesture—“sleeping with every woman who tossed a smile your way.”

Sickening thoughts of him with other women raced through her mind. How many had warmed his bed over the years? Had they willingly done the things she wouldn’t?

His face hardened and angry color tinged the light caramel of his cheeks. “It didn’t take you long to bring that up. You couldn’t wait to throw it in my face, could you?”

Rebekah knew her comment was a low blow, but she couldn’t stop herself. Before the flash of anger, she saw the hurt in his eyes. She pushed aside the pang of guilt. She was right to feel angry, and she wouldn’t feel guilty about it.

“You know what you did.” The painful burning in her throat indicated the hurt from his betrayal hadn’t disappeared. It had only lain dormant, and seeing him again brought it back to life—almost as fresh and new as the day he’d broken her heart and rendered their marriage vows void and useless.

“Yes, I know what I did,” he agreed tersely, “and now I know what you did.”

The air was thick with the animosity that flared between them. Rebekah took a deep, shaky breath. “Throwing accusations around isn’t going to get us anywhere.”

“No, it isn’t,” Rafael conceded. He eyed her with a frown. “We need to decide what we’re going to do about Ricardo.”

Her ears perked up. “What do you mean ‘what we’re going to do about Ricardo?’”

“What do you think I mean? He’s mine.”

“He isn’t a possession, Rafe, like one of your fancy cars or your championship belt. He’s a person.”

His dark eyes flashed angrily down at her. “You think I don’t know that? But he is my son, and I intend to be a part of his life from now on. First, we need to tell him right away that I’m his father. Then, I want him to come spend time with me in California. I have no idea what he believes, but you’ll make sure he understands I did not desert him all these years.”

His dictatorial tone rubbed Rebekah the wrong way, but she bit back her angry retort. Under the circumstances, it would be an overreaction, but she wasn’t far from giving him a piece of her mind.

“All right,” she said. “I’ll have a talk with him later.”

A muscle in his jaw tightened. “You’ll have a talk with him now, while I’m here. You’re no longer a single parent. We’ll do this together. ”

“Do you have to talk to me like that?” she snapped.

“Only if you fight me on this. Is that what you intend to do?”

“No. Of course not. I’m worried about how this will affect him. We’re about to dump a lot on a kid who, for eight years, has never had a father. Now, all of a sudden, here you are, bigger than life. I don’t even know how he knows who you are. You retired almost two years ago, and I certainly never allowed him to watch wrestling.”

It was possible Ricardo had seen the replayed matches on television without her permission. It could even be from the occasional commercials Rafael shot. Since retiring from wrestling, he endorsed a variety of products. In addition, he’d licensed his name on a chain of gyms on the west coast.

“He’s a boy,” Rafael said. “When I was his age, I was curious about fighting. He could have found out about me—my persona—from one of his friends at school. It’s natural for boys to be into that kind of thing.”

Rebekah knew he was right, but she had no interest in fighting and tried to limit her young son’s exposure to violence. The idea of co-parenting with Rafael was daunting, and she had no idea what kind of parent he would be. He deserved the opportunity to play that role, but she’d had Ricardo to herself for eight years. She would have to relinquish any hard feelings she harbored toward Rafael and allow him to participate in all aspects of his son’s life. Her only fear was that their parenting styles would be so different he would undo everything she’d taught their son.

“About California,” she began, “what did you have in mind?”

“He could come spend the summer with me in L.A.”

“I don’t know, Rafe. The entire summer is a bit much. Let’s take it one step at a time, okay? We’ll see how he handles finding out you’re his father, and then we’ll go from there.”

“Rebekah, I’m asking for one summer.” The underlying accusation being she had robbed him of eight years.

A tug of war for Ricardo’s time had already begun. He didn’t even consider they may already have plans. “I understand, but I was thinking about taking him to St. Kitts to see relatives this summer. I think it would be better if we put off this conversation until later.”

St. Kitts was a small island nation in the Caribbean where her mother was from. As children, she, Samirah, and their older brother, Adam, spent their summers there. As the years passed, they visited less frequently, but she wanted her son to be aware of his Caribbean roots. The last time he visited was at the age of five, and he hardly remembered his time there.

“All right,” Rafael agreed. Rebekah eyed him suspiciously. That was almost too easy. “Are you ready?”

Nodding, Rebekah resigned herself to what was to take place. There was no point in a delay. That didn’t keep the bundle of knots in her stomach from reappearing, and she wondered how she would make it through the difficult explanation without looking like a villain.

As they neared the staircase, she turned to Rafael. “Wasn’t there something you said you needed to tell me?” she asked.

Rafael looked intently at her, as if trying to gauge how to say what he was holding. “As a matter of fact, there is.”

“Well, what is it?”

“I came here to tell you when we signed the divorce papers nine years ago, there was a problem at the courthouse. Our papers were never filed. Legally, you’re still my wife.”

———————-

Delaney Diamond is the bestselling author of sweet and sensual romance novels with multicultural characters. Originally from the U.S. Virgin Islands, she now lives in Atlanta, Georgia. In her spare time she reads romance novels, mysteries, thrillers, and a fair amount of non-fiction. When she’s not busy reading or writing, she’s in the kitchen trying out new recipes, dining at one of her favorite restaurants, or traveling to an interesting locale.  

She never had thoughts of being a writer growing up, but now that she’s started, it’s turned out to be a great creative outlet and the ideas won’t stop coming. 

Interesting facts:

Her favorite color is yellow.

Her favorite season is spring.

Her favorite type of hero: Alpha male!

She’s an ice cream addict. Her favorite flavors are Haagen-Dazs’s pineapple-coconut and rum raisin; Breyer’s rocky road; Blue Bell’s pistachio almond. 

You can enjoy free reads and the first chapter of all her novels on her website.

Book Cover_The Arrangement

Connect with Delaney here:

Amazon book list

Barnes & Noble book list

Facebook fan page 

iTunes book list 

Book Cover_Private ActsTwitter 

Website and blog

Join in the Fray: What’s your definition of “Hot?”

All rights reserved. All work is the copyright of the respective owner, otherwise copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews-Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, Dallas, TX, USA.

 

 

 

 

 

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Filed Under: Guest Blog, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black women, Black. White, Delaney Diamond, fiction, guest post, Hispanic, hot, hot Latin men, hot men, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, Latin men, Latino, love, Miranda Santiago, novel, Romance, swirl, swirling

I’m Every Woman (Whelp, Most of the Time!)

April 2, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 4 Comments

Kozzi-sleeping-asian-woman-1591 X 2387

Do you have a “Theme Song?” You know, the song you believe personifies your philosophy of life, contains your mantra, and gives you an immediate lift every time you sing it?

Since the day I heard it, the song “I’m Every Woman” by Chaka Kahn has given me life. I can do it all, be it all, have it all, _______________ it all – you name it, I’m it. 

Whelp, sometimes I have to sing that song to myself when I feel down, or tired, or not-quite-as-invincible as I’d like. Tonight is one of those times – not because life sucks right now, but more so because I’m extremely sleep deprived. 🙂

 I’m going to let the imitable Chaka Kahn speak for me tonight, and I’ll hit you guys up tomorrow. 

http://youtu.be/Q8xuUdI1an0

(Whitney’s version is pretty sweet, too!)

http://youtu.be/jpGmuhBhR7w

Join in the Fray: What’s your Theme Song?

I’m blogging every day in the month of April in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

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Filed Under: NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black, Black Woman, Black women, Chaka Kahn, couple, couples, interracial, interracial couples, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, mantra, Marriage, married, swirl, swirling, Theme Song, white, Whitney Houston, woman

The Best Way to Fly Solo

February 26, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 3 Comments

MASSAGE 2

Some of you may not know it, but I’m a licensed massage therapist.

(Pauses to listen to the sound of my personal stock going up; pats self on back).

I’m a licensed massage therapist and I have the great fortune to teach continuing education classes at the University of Louisiana. My class is called “Couples Massage for Fun and Relaxation.”

This past Thursday I had the pleasure of teaching my class. I had been informed a week prior by the class administrators that, per my approval, my class was going to have an odd number.

Hold up . . . an odd number of attendees???

That meant someone who signed up for the class was Flying Solo. 

Flying Solo? In a Couples Massage class??? Who was this brave soul???

FLYING SOLO 2

Needless to say, I was intrigued. I gave my approval, and informed the class administrator that the Soloist just needed to agree to be my partner. 

Fast forward to class night and, lo and behold, I didn’t just have one Soloist, I had two.

And both of them were men.

(Go ahead and faint from the shock. I’ll wait).

Yes, indeed. These two guys had signed up for the class, sans a female (or male) partner. They were taking a Couples Massage, and they were flying solo.

Turns out Jack and Robert* had decided that even though they weren’t currently attached, they wanted to be prepared for when they did have a significant other. 

So, along with the six other couples in the class, Jack (the younger, very cute White dude) and Robert (the older, very handsome White dude) learned the five basic massage strokes and had a blast. They also enjoyed the pleasure of serving as the class guinea pigs – and treated to two hours of constant back, shoulder, neck, scalp, and face massages by Yours Truly.

The moral of the story?

The best way to fly solo is to go in, be fearless, and exceed your objectives!

Here’s how Jack and Robert accomplished it:

  • They refused to allow the “Couples” designation stop them from signing up
  • They refused to give in to the fear of the unknown
  •  They refused to be embarrassed by arriving solo
  • They focused on what they had (a desire to enhance their skills) instead of on what they didn’t have (a girlfriend)
  • They maintained a healthy, optimistic perspective on their future relationships
  • They took proactive steps to be prepared
  • They were determined to have fun

FLYING SOLO

Yes, I know that single women have been encouraged to venture out Solo. We’re encouraged to dine out alone, go to the movies alone, travel, etc. We’re told, Live your best life now! Don’t wait for a partner! 

I cosign and practice all of that, and thankfully I enjoy my own company. What’s refreshing to me is the fact that Jack and Robert held such an optimistic view of their dating lives, and demonstrated fearlessness when it came to preparing.

And you know what? The other members of the class didn’t make fun of Jack and Rob – they applauded them. The husbands gave them knowing looks and shout outs of approval, and the ladies made sure to give them compliments and encouragement.

Jack (the younger guy) paid close attention to everything I said, to make sure he was doing everything correctly. Rob (the older guy) asked lots of questions and wanted to know all the variations of each of the strokes. 

(Cough, cough. Anybody catch what I just said? Moving right along . . . . )

I’ve been talking about taking a Zydeco dancing class. I’m so inspired by Jack and Rob, I’ve decided to just do what they did: Sign up, partner or not. 

I even mentioned my intentions in class, and guess what? Jack was already signed up – again, Flying Solo! He immediately offered to be my partner (tee hee hee!) and used his iPhone to look up the class on the spot. 

Alas, Jack’s class was already full (darn it!).

But guess who asked for my number – and guess who’s signed up for the next one? 

Join in the Fray: How well do you Fly Solo?

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl, All rights reserved.

 

 

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Black, Black women, Black. White, class, continuing ed, continuing education, couples, couples massage, fun, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, Massage, massage classes, massage strokes, relaxation, swirl, swirling

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I’m Michelle Matthews-Calloway, and I’m A Swirl Girl! Greetings to you from The Swirl World. We encourage Black women to expand their relationship options by dating and marrying interracially. Our overarching mission is to see Black Women live their best life. Come Swirl with us in The Swirl World™, where we celebrate Black women and the diverse men who love us!™

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