THIS Is What Happens When A Man Loves A Woman

January 8, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 2 Comments

What happens when a man loves a woman?

I believe we’ve found a good example in our first couple of 2014.

Meet Stephen and Raquel Davidson. We’re delighted to present their profile for a couple of reasons.

First, we’re delighted because it’s an honor and privilege to spotlight a couple in the armed forces. Stephen and Raquel are both in the Army. Woot Woot!

We’re also especially delighted to feature this couple because their profile was filled out by Stephen.

Don’t you just LOVE it when a man loves his woman and wants to share his story??

Stephen says:

“We are currently long distance because I am deployed to Afghanistan and she lives in MN. We have been together for 7 months but have known each other for almost 3 years and never dated because of the distance and the nature of our jobs in both being in the Army. We don’t have any kids, but they are in the future.

First time we met was in 2011 during a Military training class. I came up to her and said: “Hi” and asked for her number, not thinking much of it as well as her. I had always liked her and always talked to her every chance I got whether I was thousands of miles away overseas or a few states away.

Finally this summer we decided to give it a try and it has been the best thing, and I kick myself in the head for waiting such a long time.

What I like most about her is her brown eyes, her curly long hair, how she understands the lifestyle and how she brings me down to earth when I am way up there in space. Also her butt. LOL!”

Stephen continues:

“My advice to others; communication is key, Don’t do long distance unless both of you are in the same path working towards one goal.

You can love whoever you want; never let anyone tell you different and if they do, whether they are friends or family, even if it hurts, stay away from them. Your happiness is first.”

Raquel’s advice?

“My advice is that you should love whomever, whenever! At first I was iffy because dating a white man can be intimidating especially with the other person’s family and they don’t understand the struggle (combing curly hair, tanning easily, etc.) so finding someone understanding of those things as well as the family is heaven! Happiness is what matters; no one should dictate who you love!”

Stephen and Raquel, we couldn’t agree with you more!

A special thanks to Stephen, Raquel and all our men and women who serve around the world. Let’s send lots of love and prayers Stephen’s way as he serves during his deployment in Afghanistan.

Join in the Fray: How do you know when a man loves a woman?

Want to be profiled here? Inbox us on Facebook or send an email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

The Shocking Truth About The Plenty Of Fish Dating Site

December 18, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 31 Comments

Of all the online dating websites out there, I’d say Plenty Of Fish – POF – gets the worst rap.

Women complain about the jerks, scumbags and sleaze balls that troll around on that site looking for fresh meat like jackals in the wild.

Time would not allow me to tell you of the horror stories I’ve heard and read – guys posting “birthday suit” profile photos, obscene pickup lines and other gross, classless foolery.

So much foolery that POF is often referred to as POS.

(IJS).

Despite these discouraging tales, the shocking truth about the Plenty Of Fish dating site is that people are actually finding love.

Yep – people. are. finding. love. on. Plenty. Of. Fish.

Not just love – interracial love.

Swirl love.

A few weeks ago we were treated to a video of David Mazur and Andrea Ellis, a Swirl couple who met on POF and won a $100,000 grand prize toward their dream wedding.

We’d be happy for any couple who won, but we have to admit that we were especially happy that a Swirl couple won that huge prize. They represented – not only for POF, but for Swirl couples worldwide.

Not Convinced? We’ll Make A Believer Out Of You

We posted a question on The Swirl World’s Facebook page and asked our fans if they used POF.

In light of POF’s bad reputation, the results were surprising.

Meet Chassitie and Josh Thornton.

They met on Plenty Of Fish.

Here’s their story in Chassitie’s own words:

My husband and I currently live in Fairbanks, Alaska – his current duty station. In Fall of 2014 we will be moving to Yelm, Washington (his home town) for our next duty station – Fort Lewis.

We have been together for 13 months. We officially met the day after my birthday.

We currently have no children at all but would like to start our family when he returns from his current deployment. We want at least 3 children (I want five though! lol).

How They Met

It was a few days after I moved to Fairbanks, with my best friend, from my hometown in California. We met through a message on POF.com. It was a social website for people trying to find friends or a date. My overall goal was friends. I grew up in a small town in northern California and was a tomboy who always hung out with the guys. So having just moved I wanted to make some friends.

I wrote him telling him about having just moved and that I was looking for friends to hang out with and hike, play video games or watch movies with. He wrote back. We talked for a day or two about our hobbies and interests and then I gave him my number. We made plans to hang out, but never got around to an actual day. Then for some reason I can’t remember I just stopped talking.

Then came my birthday. I was out getting my hair done when he texted me to wish me a happy birthday. It was then that I asked him if he wanted to hang out – I wanted to look at outdoor gear and camping stuff.

So the next day he came and picked me up. We went to the Sportsmans’ Warehouse and walked around for a bit talking about outdoor stuff and camping trips and things we wanted to do.

I don’t know when exactly it happened but sometime within the next 24 hours I knew we couldn’t be “just friends.”

So we started dating.

Their Defining Moment (When They Knew They Were In Love)

Chassitie: I knew I loved him a little over a week after we first met. We spent every moment that he wasn’t at work together. I knew I had feelings for him before then but later I was certain I loved him when we took our first shower together. We just held onto one another. I felt so comfortable and so safe and so secure. And I’ve never felt like that with anyone before.

Josh: My wife and I have this thing we do where we reminisce on the moments of our relationship, and one of the questions that comes up is when I knew I loved her. The answer is always the same. I knew I loved her the moment we met. But she was the first to say it.

What They Like Most About Each Other

Chassitie: I love his sensitivity, his softness, his strength, his understanding and his patience. But above all, I love that he is family oriented. Family is the biggest priority in my life.

Josh: Her strength. Our first year of marriage was hard because we faced – I faced – a few personal hardships. But she was always there for me, she was my rock. She always knew exactly what to do or what to say to make me feel better and put a smile on my face.

The Advice They Would Give To Others

Chassitie: My biggest piece of advice would be, Don’t be afraid to take chances or step outside your comfort zone.

Josh: Just be yourself. I never tried to impress my wife. When we first met I was wearing Wranglers and a t-shirt.

More To Come

For those of you who are still skeptical, we have something for you: More couples.

Stay tuned; the next three couples we’re featuring have something in common besides their Swirl status:

They all met on Plenty Of Fish.

We’ll share some of their vetting tips, and they’ll tell you how they managed to navigate the shark-infested waters of ~~POS~~ POF and find the love of their lives.

In the meantime, for some “Come to Jesus vetting tips” we wholeheartedly suggest that you check out Eugenia Berg’s Married Girl In A Weird World blog.

Eugenia did an awesome series entitled “Dating In The Age of Dumba$$es – Online Dating” Vetting Redux.” Click here for Part 1 and here for Part 2.

Swirl on.

Join in the Fray: Are you currently on an online dating site? Which one(s)? What have been your experiences?

How Do You Define The Reality Of Love?

December 4, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 1 Comment

If you were asked to describe “The Reality Of Love,” what would be your response?

This week’s couple, Valentai and Justin Cook reflect the reality of love – but not for the reason you might expect.

I’m especially excited about this installment of “Ordinary People – Extraordinary Love” for several reasons.

First, Valentai and Justin Cook are a military family (Justin is a Marine). Valentai is Black and Justin is Irish-German.

Needless to say, we at The Swirl World love and appreciate our men and women in uniform. Not only that, as a former Army brat I know what military life is like and I’m acutely aware of the sacrifices required of every member of the family. Kudos to all who serve their country!

Second, Justin and Valentai are together because her brother (1) loved her, (2) wanted to see her happy and (3) was open-minded enough to realize that love comes in more than one color.

That’s right: Valentai’s brother brought them together.

The Cook’s Sweet Story

Valentai says:

“We live on Camp Pendleton in California. We’ve been together for 2 1/2 years. We have two children, both boys. Their ages are 7-years old (Albert) and 2-months old (Dylan).

We met through my brother who is also in the Marines.

I knew I was in love with Justin when I saw how wonderful he was with my son. I knew he’d make an amazing husband and father.

What I like most about him is his kindness and determination to always make the best out of whatever life throws us.”

Valentai’s Advice

“My advice I would give to anyone in or seeking an interracial relationship would be to know what you want 100% and don’t let anyone tell you they you don’t deserve happiness. People will always be judgmental, but as long as you and that special someone are happy, then nothing can break that love. “

The Reality Of Love

When someone – be it family member, friend, neighbor, coworker, whomever – genuinely loves you, he or she will want the best for you.

They won’t begrudge your happiness – and they won’t try to dictate it, either.

Valentai’s brother recognized that Justin, his fellow Marine was a quality man.

So much so, he introduced him to his sister.

There was no haterade flowing or blocking going on – just a loving brother who wanted to see his sister happy.

The reality of love is that it always seeks the good of its object – no matter what.

Does this depiction of love reflect your reality? If not, what are you going to do about it?

NOTE: Valentai informed me that Justin just left for deployment, so let’s be sure to send lots of prayers and love to the Cook family. We look forward to hearing more from this couple and wish them and their sons all the best.