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The Swirl World

Celebrating and Elevating Black Women - mind, body, soul and spirit!


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What Can Mixed-Race People Teach Us About Love?

November 20, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 1 Comment

 

Terra Ann and Ben 6So often when many people think of “interracial” couples, they think predominantly in terms of a combination of two races.

They think: Black and White, Asian and White, Latino and Black and any other combination of two you can think of.

An interracial pairing can be so much MORE than simply a combination of two races or ethnicities!

Today, we’re happy we get to highlight Benjamin and Terra Ann – two mixed-race people who, together compose a truly “Mixed Race” couple.

Terra Ann says, “A lot of people say “mixed” when they are only describing two races. And I, being true to myself, am really more than three-dimensional when it comes to having to check only “Caucasian” or “African American” in the boxes on a form. But I’m proud of my multi-racial ethnicity. It’s unique.”

Benjamin’s ethnicity is Scott-Irish, Cherokee Indian and German. Terra Ann’s Dad is African American, and her Mother is a combination of French, German, Black Dutch, Cherokee Indian and Irish.

How’s that for “Mixed??”

Terra Ann continues, “I may not have been around to see or speak with my great-great grandparents to know their history and stories. But it is shown through my blood. And that is great history that no one can take or make up.”

Benjamin and Terra Ann – two “Mixed Ordinary People Who Found Mixed Extraordinary Love!

Terra Ann and Ben

A Blended Family

We both live in Oklahoma. Ben is from Midwest City, Oklahoma and I grew up in Del City, Oklahoma. Both cities are literally 10 minutes apart, which makes it a little bizarre that we had never met until last October.

As of November 19th our relationship marks a year, even though at times it can seem longer. (I say that with a sweet smile.)

We both had children before we met. I have two full of energy and very sharp children; a daughter, Samera who is 6 and a son, Jre’Lyn who is 5 (his name is pronounced (Dre Lin).

Ben and Jre'Lyn at the couple's first family dinner at a restaurant

Ben and Jre’Lyn at the couple’s first family dinner at a restaurant

Ben has a very beautiful daughter that is the same age as my son. Both of my children adore Ben and he as well is in love with my children, and I love his daughter.

 Ben and Samera at a friend's pool party

Ben and Samera at a friend’s pool party

How They Met

Ben and I met at a local dance bar in Midwest City. A mutual friend we had at the time asked me to go and stand in on her behalf at a bachelor/ bachelorette party she was hosting for a couple she knew. She was running late, so she called and asked me to play hostess until she got there. I obviously agreed. I’m very glad I did!

When I first saw Ben, yes, I could see he was a very attractive man; very fit. He was also a very boisterous individual. At first, that is where it stopped. I didn’t think twice about him and me ever becoming a couple. Plus I had no idea he was interested in me. A couple of weeks later he told me he liked me and was very interested in me. He was also very honest concerning where he wanted the relationship to go. I liked him, too – so we soon made it official and became a couple.

Ben and Terra Ann at their first date as a couple

Ben and Terra Ann at their first date as a couple

Defining Moments

My defining moment I knew I was in love with Ben was after we’d been together for five months. As we dated, I realized we are completely different in almost every way – which to me was a good thing, because I may not have been able to stay with him if he was too much like me in personality.

Despite our many differences our morals, goals, family values and beliefs are the same. We were hit with obstacles almost every step of the way, but really it has only brought us closer together.

Ben says the defining moment he knew he was in love with me came when he knew I was here for him and would not give up on him. Or judge him. I’m one of his biggest fans.

"Ben says the defining moment he knew he was in love with me came when he knew I was here for him and would not give up on him. Or judge him. I'm one of his biggest fans."

“Ben says the defining moment he knew he was in love with me came when he knew I was here for him and would not give up on him. Or judge him. I’m one of his biggest fans.”

What We Like About Each Other

What I absolutely like about Ben is his blunt honesty. Maybe it’s due from his experience from being in the military.  If you ever want to have the most accurate and honest opinion of something, Ben would be your guy. He is so diverse in conversation that his being honest makes it so refreshing to me. Our conversations are entertaining nonetheless. Of course there are other likable characteristics about him; that’s just the number one thing for me.

Ben says what he likes most about me is I’m altruistic for anyone and anything.

Through The Good Times – And The Bad 

Ben and I have been through a great deal of hardship, trials and tribulations, since being together. There have been people that have tried to come between us. Tear us apart. And have been jealous of our relationship.

Even when odds were against us we have stuck it out. Even though it was getting repetitive and tiresome we always have seen the “great’ in the two of us. Believed in each other. And we always have great communication. We make sure we are both on the same page.

It helps when you have family that sees you’re happy, and supports your love as well. We both had different backgrounds growing up. And for some reason what the two of us share is an exponential love. No matter what comes our way. We both value the love.

"Ben and I at a favorite bar we used to go too. It's special because it was our first photo together."

“Ben and I at a favorite bar we used to go too. It’s special because it was our first photo together.”

What A Mixed Race Couple Can Teach Us About Love

So, what can a mixed race couple teach us about love?

In Terra Ann’s words, “Love will fight. Love holds on, despite your background and history.”

A mixed-race couple can teach us that regardless of the simplicity or complexity of the mix, love is always a beautiful thing.

They teach us that with the proliferation of Swirling, soon, many couples will look and be composed of multiple ethnicities – just like Ben and Terra Ann.

They teach us that you can’t advocate Swirling and then turn around and make disparaging remarks about the mixed offspring that is produced.

Mixed Race people teach us if you love to Swirl, you have to love the mix, too.

Benjamin and Terra Ann Archer . . . Ordinary People . . . . Extraordinary Love.

Swirl on.

 

Join in the Fray: What’s your family history?

All rights reserved. All work is the copyright of the respective owner, otherwise copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, Dallas, TX, USA. Photos used with permission.

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Filed Under: Mixed Race, OPEL Tagged With: African American, biracial, Black, Black Dutch, Black women, Black. White, Cherokee Indian, dating, Del City, French, German, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, interracial romance, Irish, love, Marriage, Midwest City, mixed, mixed race, monoracial, multi-racial, multiracial, Oklahoma, Scott-Irish, swirling

Roundup Report!

July 6, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 2 Comments

keep-calm-and-visit-a-food-truck-1

Whelp, I’m back from the Food Truck Roundup, and once again, I had a BLAST!

The skies were extremely overcast, and a cool breeze was blowing – a marked difference from the hot, pizza oven weather we experienced in June.

I was there to cover the event for the magazine. Once I went off the clock, it was time to bring out the Swirl Cam and survey the crowd for Swirlers.

Alas, the pickings were slim. I was hoping to see a BW/non-BM combination, yet true to form I only saw one Swirl couple – a BM/WW pair.

Ah, well.

Fortunately, I have lots of events to attend as the late summer-into-fall festival season gets underway so the Swirl Cam will be in full force.

Meanwhile, here are a couple of the sights and sounds that I can share from the Roundups I’ve attended so far:

An interesting – and energetic – band:

FOOD TRUCK BAND CROP

From the June Round Up:

Splash Fountain for the kids

Splash Fountain for the kids

Viva La Waffle! Everything they serve – from sweet to savory – is encased in a waffle.

VIVA LA WAFFLE

Stay tuned for the full story coming later in the August issue of Acadiana Lifestyle magazine!

Join in the Fray: How’s the Food Truck scene in your area?

I’m blogging every day in the month of July in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

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Filed Under: Festivals and Events, NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black, Black women, Black. White, BlogHer, food, food truck, food truck roundup, interracial, interracial relationships, NaBloPoMo, swirl, swirling, white

I Hope You Dance . . . .

April 19, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 2 Comments

Kozzi-krump-style-dancer-1183 X 1774

. . .  ‘cuz I sure do!

This has been a long week. Sometimes you just have to dance it out.

This video is giving me life.

http://youtu.be/9hWAU-lJFaM

Join in the Fray: Do you dance when no one is watching? What’s your song of choice?

I’m blogging every day in the month of April in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

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Filed Under: NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: Abba, Black, Black women, Black. White, BlogHer, bus stop, dance, dancing, disco, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, Music, NaBloPoMo, woman

The Purpose of a Problem

April 18, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway Leave a Comment

EVERY PROBLEMI’m so glad I reached the point of maturity that I can now recognize the gifts!

Join in the Fray: When has one of your problems turned into a gift? 

I’m blogging every day in the month of April for BlogHer’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading and do leave a comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

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Filed Under: NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black, Black women, Black. White, BlogHer, dating, gift, interracial, interracial dating, interracial relationships, NaBloPoMo, problem, Purpose, swirling

Wedding Bells Are Ringing!

April 17, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway Leave a Comment

Kozzi-Wedding 1

I have occasion to drive by St. Genevieve’s Catholic Church in Lafayette, LA on a regular basis. On most days, nothing special is going on. Today was different.

As me and the other 1.5 million poor schmucks  were inching along in 5:00 p.m. traffic, we were treated to the sight of a girl in a gorgeous wedding gown. The sunlight hit the crystals and pearls on her dress just so, and she was a dazzling vision of beauty. 

She was standing on the stoop with a gentleman in a tuxedo who I’m guessing was her Father. St. Genevieve’s doesn’t appear to have a vestibule, because the Bride and her escort were standing outside the huge front door. Everyone else had evidently marched in, and there she was, clutching the man’s hands. In just those brief moments, I could tell that the young woman was giddy with anticipation of her entrance into the church. 

Seeing her immediately brought a smile to my face, and I was smitten with curiosity about the people inside. How many girls were in her wedding party? What colors had she selected? Who was serving as her Maid of Honor – was it her sister, a favorite cousin, or maybe her best friend?  

And, more important, what about the Groom, her soon-to-be husband? Was he short or tall, handsome or average? How long had they dated? Did they share the same ethnicity, or was she swirling? Did the gentleman standing with her, waiting to walk her down the aisle, approve of the man who would be waiting for her at the other end???   

The traffic picked up, and we chugged forward. I didn’t get to see her enter the doors, and I’ll never know what awaited her inside. Wedding bells were ringing for her, and a new chapter in her life was waiting to begin.

How many other people got married today? I wondered. Despite the turmoil that composes our world, life moves on. Steps are taken and decisions made. This Bride got married; somewhere in the world, today marked an engagement, a promise of marriage, for hundreds, maybe even thousands of other couples.

There’s a flip side to that, of course: Somewhere in the world, others decided to end their marriages or relationships and call it quits. Somebody opted to stop trying, or felt it was better to walk away.  Today was a day of supreme joy for some, and a day of bitter, disappointing sadness for others. And yes, life will go on.

I said a prayer for that unknown couple as I traversed down Evangeline Thruway. No one, me least of all, knows what challenges they will face or what heights they will reach. I sincerely wish them well, and hope their wedding bells will ring cheerily for the rest of their lives.

Join in the Fray: What “bells” are ringing for you ?

I’m blogging every day in the month of April in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

 

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Filed Under: Festivals and Events, NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: bells, Black, Black women, Black. White, BlogHer, break ups, bride, Catholic, Catholic church, church, couples, dating, engagement, Evangeline Thruway, Father of the Bride, groom, interracial, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, LA, Lafayette, NaBloPoMo, St. Genevieve, swirling, wedding, wedding bells, weddings

When Failure Becomes the Sweetest Success

April 16, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 4 Comments

Like Father Like Daughter

The saying “Everybody loves a winner” probably couldn’t be more true when we are speaking of ourselves. Sure, winning and being successful is more important to some of us than others, yet I don’t believe anyone  just enjoys losing or failing.

With that being said, tonight I learned how failure can turn into a sweet success.

Those of you who are my Facebook friends may remember that a few months or so ago (I checked; it was actually October 28, 2012. Wow, how time flies! o_O) my Dad attempted to make praline candy in the microwave. I got sucked into trying to “help” him, and three times in one night, this was the result:

BURNT PECANS

Whelp, when I came in tonight, Daddy was at it again. This time, he was making candy the old-fashioned way – on top of the stove in a cast iron skillet.

He was just a’ stirrin’ and a’ stirrin’, and of course I got sucked in again and joined him. Daddy couldn’t find the new recipe he was using, and he had put in his ingredients from memory. Even though he and I have seen homemade candy being made a least a jillion times, neither of us could remember what to do next.

We had a good time trying to think of all the steps; laughing and cracking jokes about how my cheap Aunt Mary took shortcuts and her candy always came out too thin, thinking fondly of the fact that my S-I-L infused her candy with peanut butter (delicious!) and how when I was growing up I loved the bowl and spoon almost more than the candy and would have to beat back my two brothers in order to get it. 

I did remember that at some point in the process you’re supposed to drop some of the candy “juice” in cold water;  if it formed a ball, then the candy was ready to spread.

Ahem.

What I didn’t remember is that you do that when the pecans are already in the hot candy mix, because you have a very small window of time in which to spread the pralines before the candy starts seizing (learned that term from the show Chopped).

Cough.

What we would up with was this:

PRALINES 04 16 2013

Candied pecans!

If I say so myself, they are delicious. Even though we didn’t get the “pralines” we were after, Daddy and I had a wonderful time in the kitchen. I spread out the parchment paper and brushed it with butter, and took the skillet from him when I saw it was getting too heavy for him to hold. 

We’d done a lot of laughing and talking, and when the time came to spread the candy, we worked wordlessly, but with a rhythm that was instinctive.

The more time I spend with my Dad, the more I’m learning how very much I have his temperament and outlook. We didn’t view our candied-pecans-not-pralines as a failure – no, quite the contrary!

I deliberately left some in the skillet and went to work on scraping the pot and loudly licking the spoon; my Dad smacked his lips as he put the very warm candied pecans in his mouth.

It was a moment of sheer joy.

Daddy turned to me and said, “Well, we would have had the same result if they were whole and we broke them up, right?”   

Being the Father’s Daughter that I am, I said gleefully, “You betcha!”

For Daddy and I, the glass is never half empty. He’s the eternal optimist, and I thankfully revel in this trait I received from him. Have I been hurt? Of course. Has life sometimes looked very bleak and dark, without a ray of sunshine in sight? You betcha!

The secret lies in learning how to properly view those events and circumstances that appear to be failures; to salvage whatever remains and use it to carry you to the victories that will eventually come.  Understanding, ultimately, that failures serve to sweeten your success. 

And you know what? Candy coated pecans taste just as good – if not better – than whole pralines!

Join in the Fray: When has your “failure” turned into sweet success?

I’m blogging every day in the month of April in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

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Filed Under: NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: baking, Black, Black women, Black. White, BlogHer, candy, cast iron, cooking, Daddy, dating, daughter, Father, interracial, interracial relationships, NaBloPoMo, pecan candy, pecan pralines, pecans, pralines, skillet, swirling

For the Good Times

April 15, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 3 Comments

FOR THE GOOD TIMES

Like me, I’m sure you were shocked and saddened to hear of the tragic turn of events at today’s Boston Marathon.

I’d planned to tell you all about the “VIPink Party” I attended Saturday night (I have the post all loaded in and ready to go).

Needless to say, all of that seems pretty frivolous now, when some of the Marathon runners and attendees are hanging on to life by a thread. Others made it out intact, but I’m sure the lives of those in attendance are now turned upside down.

I can’t help but think of the joy and laughter I experienced at Saturday’s event. I enjoyed the company I was with, and I loved being out and about. There’s something about events like the Marathon, concerts, festivals, shows, sporting events, movies and even fundraising dinners that make us happy.

We put on the glitz – or good walking shoes! – and set out to have a good time with friends and family. We don’t approach these events with fear; no, it’s the exact opposite. Many of the people who ran the Marathon had trained for months. Being there was a milestone for many; for some, an event to cross off on their bucket lists.

We don’t expect our events to end in tragedy. No, we expect to Facebook it, Tweet it, commemorate it with pictures, or even blog about it. We plan to place these events in our categories of “good times,” and never expect them to become remembrances of unspeakable horror and fear.

My heartfelt condolences, prayers, and sympathy go out to the families of all who were affected. My hope is that one day; someday, they may again experience good times.

Join in the Fray: When was the last occasion you had a “good time?”

I’m blogging every day in the month of April in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

 

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Filed Under: NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black, Black women, Black. White, BlogHer, bomb, Boston Marathon, dating, explosion, interracial, interracial dating, interracial relationships, NaBloPoMo, runners, running, swirling, tragedy

By The Time You Read This . . . .

April 14, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 2 Comments

BY THE TIME YOU READ THIS

Chat later, ok? Allergies are giving me the BLUES!

Sniffle . . . sniffle . . . SNEEZE!

Join in the Fray: What’s the pollen count in YOUR city?

I’m blogging every day in the month of April in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

 

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Filed Under: NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: asleep. allergies, Black, Black women, Black. White, BlogHer, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, NaBloPoMo, read, sick, sneeze, sniffles, swirling

Who’s The Best Ride or Die Chick?

April 13, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 5 Comments

JJRJ PHOTOMy Bestie, Jacqueline Jillene Robbins Jackson! 

We met at a church convention 22 years ago and have been best friends ever since.

Happy Birthday to the bestest Best Friend and Soror in the whole wide world.

And many more . . . . .

Join in the Fray: Who’s your Bestie?

I’m blogging every day in the month of April for BlogHer’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading and do leave a comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

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Filed Under: NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: best friend, bestie, Birthday, Black, Black women, Black. White, BlogHer, Happy Birthday, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, NaBloPoMo, swirling

Things You CAN’T Do When You’re NOT a Dog

April 12, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 3 Comments

nibbles-225x300

So ok; today this video had me laughing so hard I just had to share it!

I’m also sending a shout out to Nibbles, who by far is the best little dog in the whole wide world.

Dogs rule!

 

Join in the Fray: Are you on #TeamDog or #TeamCat?

 

I’m blogging every day in the month of April in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

 

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

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Filed Under: NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black, Black women, Black. White, BlogHer, Cat, dating, dog, funny, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, joke, NaBloPoMo, swirling, video

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I’m Michelle Matthews-Calloway, and I’m A Swirl Girl! Greetings to you from The Swirl World. We encourage Black women to expand their relationship options by dating and marrying interracially. Our overarching mission is to see Black Women live their best life. Come Swirl with us in The Swirl World™, where we celebrate Black women and the diverse men who love us!™

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Podcasts We Love

  • #SmartBrownVoices
  • Back2Us Radio Network
  • Behind The Brilliance
  • Black Girl Nerds
  • Design The Life You Want
  • Her Power Hustle
  • Interracial Jawn
  • Just Thinkin' Out Loud Media
  • Live By Design Inspiration Radio
  • Nerdy Black Chicks
  • The Freedom Biz
  • The Productive Woman
  • This Week In Blackness

Blogroll

  • 500and50
  • A Black Girl's Guide to Weight Loss
  • African American 101
  • Afrobella
  • Alaia Williams
  • Alphanista
  • Awesomely Luvvie
  • Baggage Reclaim
  • Beyond Black & White
  • Black Female Interracial Marriage
  • Black Girl Nerds
  • Black Girls Blogging
  • Black Women Deserve Better™
  • Black Women with Other Brothers
  • Black Women’s Interracial Relationship Circle
  • Bougie Black Girl
  • Chonilla
  • Courtney Herring
  • Elle Veg- All Things Vegetarian
  • For Harriet
  • Happy Black Woman
  • Interracial Dating Coach
  • Joyce L. Rodgers
  • Just Ask Kaye
  • Kaywanda Lamb
  • Littlefoot's Journey
  • LorMarie's Place
  • Married Girl in a Weird World
  • Mom's 'N Charge
  • MONETIZE THYSELF with Nicole Walters
  • Neecy's Nest
  • Oneika the Traveller
  • Petals
  • Socialite Dreams
  • Surviving Dating
  • Talk To Amber
  • The New Elegant Black Woman
  • The Social Graces & Savoir Faire Institute of Etiquette
  • The Sojourner’s Passport
  • The Style and Beauty Doctor
  • The Trendy Socialite
  • The Working Home Keeper
  • The World of Miss Glamtastic
  • Tia Delano
  • Water Cooler Convos

Copyright Terms:

All rights reserved. All work is the copyright of the respective owner, otherwise copyright ©2015 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, The Swirl World Podcast™, The Swirl World Inspiration Daily™, Swirl Nation™, all rights reserved, Dallas, TX, USA.
Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

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