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The Swirl World

Celebrating and Elevating Black Women - mind, body, soul and spirit!


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Drop It Like It’s Squat!

April 8, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 2 Comments

30 DAY SQUAT CHALLENGE

I’ve met few challenges I didn’t like, and this one is no exception. The fit folks over at Inspired Fitness posted this photo on their Facebook page.

The challenge started on April 4, so I’m a few days late. No worries; I can start today and work it into May.

Who’s in with me???

 

Join in the Fray: How do you “Drop it like it’s hot?”

I’m blogging every day in the month of April in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

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Filed Under: NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: 30-day, April, Black, Black women, Black. White, Blog, BlogHer, challenge, dating, exercise, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, month, NaBloPoMo, squats, swirling

Do You Know Where You’re Going To?

April 7, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 2 Comments

vector image of a confused businesswoman

Do you know where you’re going to?

Do you like the things that life is showing you?

Where are you going to?

Do you know?

~From The Theme from Mahogany, written by Michael Masser & Gerald Goffin

We’re bombarded with a multitude of things in any given day, you and I. World news, state and local news, job-related interactions with coworkers, the needs of friends and family. There’s the constant deluge from social media; Facebook and Twitter updates, blog posts; information received via radio, television, and the telephone.

Yes, all of that is a lot. An awful lot. We have to sift through it, use some and discard the rest. If you’re like me, you try to take the good and leave the bad alone. I don’t like clogging up my mind or my spirit with a lot of negativity or otherwise soul crushing things. Quite enough of that coming from life itself, without me deliberately ingesting it.

My plan is to become much more diligent about what I allow my eyes to see, and what I bother to read. I have a natural curiosity, and I love reading and learning new things, yet it’s time to become much more discriminating. Time is precious, and I want to spend it soaking up the good stuff – those things that will encourage, uplift and inspire me not tick me off. 

As I move into this next week, I’m determined to focus on where I’m going and what I’m doing. I like what life is showing me – those things that I’m able to accomplish with the help of God and by His grace. I know where I’m going, yet I’m open to the surprises that I know will pop up along the way.

I know where I’m going to – and I’m enjoying the trip.

http://youtu.be/Uf4P6rGMxWs

Join in the Fray: Do you know where you’re going to?

I’m blogging every day in the month of April in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

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Filed Under: NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black, Black women, Black. White, BlogHer, direction, Facebook, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, life, media, NaBloPoMo, news, Purpose, reading, swirling

15 Things to Give Up

April 6, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway Leave a Comment

vector image of a checklist

I saw this list and was inspired. I’ve given up many of these things, and still working on others. How about you?

  1. Doubting yourself
  2. Negative thinking
  3. Fear of failure
  4. Destructive relationships
  5. Gossiping
  6. Criticizing yourself and others
  7. Excessive anger
  8. Comfort eating
  9. Laziness
  10. Negative talk
  11. Procrastination
  12. Fear of success
  13. Anything excessive
  14. People pleasing
  15. Putting others’ needs before your own

Join in the Fray: Which ones have you given up? Which ones do you still need to work on?

I’m blogging every day in the month of April in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

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Filed Under: NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black, Black women, Black. White, BlogHer, dating, empowerment, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, NaBloPoMo, self-empowerment, swirling

The Reason Why I’m Wearing ONE Catcher’s Mitt

April 5, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway Leave a Comment

CATCHERS MITT“I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back.”

~Dr. Maya Angelou

 

Join in the Fray: Do you have a free hand that is open to GIVE?

I’m blogging every day in the month of April in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

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Filed Under: Announcements, NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black, Black women, Black. White, BlogHer, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, NaBloPoMo, swirling

What Would Jesus Do? I’ll Tell You! (A Rant)

April 4, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 18 Comments

http://www.dreamstime.com/stock-image-ancient-man-throwing-stone-image4028031

This week a firestorm erupted on the Facebook page of an up-and-coming Christian comedienne who also happens to be a Black woman.

Here’s The Back Story:

She posted the photo of a Pastor and his spouse taking part in special services the church had given to honor the couple (in the Black church, this type of special service is commonly known as “the Pastor & Wife’s Appreciation” or “the Pastor & Wife’s Anniversary.” This service commemorates each year of service by the couple, and is an annual tradition on the church’s calendar of services).

(Just as a FYI, there is also another service in a similar vein that is referred to as “the Church Appreciation” or “the Church Anniversary”).

While I’m at it, let me also inform the uninformed that in many Black churches, the Pastor’s wife is often referred to as “the First Lady.” (Yes, the same term given to the wife of the President of the United States. I’m not throwing any shade on the term, I’m just filling out The Back story).

Any who, Pastoral appreciations are standard fare for most Black churches. Except for one small detail.

The Pastor’s “wife” (spouse) in the photo was another man.

Raised herself as a “P.K.” or “Preacher’s Kid,” the Comedienne  was tickled pink by the fact that the spouse of the Pastor in the photo was referred to as “The First Gentleman.”

She’d never heard of the term. She remembered how the term “First Lady” had applied to her Mother, so she thought the whole thing was hilarious. Hence the reason she posted the photo.

Whelp, before waiting to see what she would say about the photo or read her reason for posting it, the “Christians” came out in full force to comment on what they saw in the photo.

When I say “a firestorm erupted,” I’m not exaggerating: She received over 80 comments in about 5 – 6 minutes.

And what kinds of comments did the “Christians” post, you may ask?

Did the Christians post comments that reflected the love of Christ – comments that reflected a concern for the souls of the two men? Did the comments express thoughts of prayer, or even of reflection?

Did the comments demonstrate loving kindness – the same loving kindness God used when He supposedly drew them?

I dare say that you don’t even have to ask those questions – you probably already know the answers.

And that, my friends, is the sad part: You probably already know that the vast majority of the “Christians” who posted the comments evidently could not spell “Love,” much less show Love.

May I tell you that I’m. sick. and. tired. of. “Christians” who. only. seem. to. be. able. to. tell. you. who. and. what. they. HATE. instead. of. who. and. what. they. LOVE?

May I tell you that I’m disgusted by their bigotry and intolerance? May I tell you that I’m sickened and dismayed at the way they throw away – and trample under their feet – prime opportunities to be the light and love they sing and testify to each other about on Sunday mornings?

When I wasn’t busy being disgusted and angry, I was interested to see that the very people these “Christians” were trying to point the finger at and condemn (yeah, gays and lesbians – the people “Christians” seem to love to hate) – these very individuals were able to point out passages of scripture – in the same Bible these “Christians” say they read – and remind them of what the Word says about Love.

You know – LOVE – what that same Bible (in 1 John 4:8) says GOD is.

And for all of you who stand poised to swoop down on me and quote scriptures about homosexuality, don’t bother. I’m well versed in the Bible, and I don’t need you to tell me what it says on the subject of homosexuality.

What I DO need you to do – for starters – is look up all the verses that describe YOUR spiritual state.

Go ahead and start with the Gospels, somewhere around Matthew 7:3 (where the words are in red) where Jesus asks, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?”

And before you try to tell me that homosexuality is not “sawdust,” go ahead and read 1 John 5:17. (I’ll save you the time and tell you what it says: “All unrighteousness is sin.”)

ALL. unrighteousness. is. sin.

As in, the unrighteous, ungodly, and wicked things YOU do.

Guess what? Those things YOU do that oppose the word of God – those things are SIN.

(And, mind you, “unrighteousness” includes talking to people as if they were trash. Or talking about them as if they were trash. Or neglecting to remember that those persons you despise are made in the image and likeness of God – just like you are).

How ’bout you remember that Christ died for the ungodly – and “THEY” are included in that number (just as YOU are)?

The “Christians” who that night tried to pummel gays and lesbians with comments of “You’re going to hell” and “You’re an abomination” need to consider a little incident that is found in John 8:

The “teachers of the law and the Pharisees” (you know; people who prided themselves on how well THEY kept the law  – yes; kinda like many of these modern-day “Christians”) brought to Jesus a woman who had been caught in. the. very. act. of. ADULTERY.

(Chile, YES! CAUGHT IN THE ACT of CHEATING on her husband!)

*Clutching my pearls*

“They made her stand before the group” (yep; sounds like some “Christians” I know) and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery.  In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?”

(See how they thumped the Bible at Jesus? They told Him what the law of Moses said to do to people who engaged in such sinful and dastardly behavior – as if He didn’t already know).

So, What Did Jesus Do?

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger.  When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.”  

So, you wanna know “What Would Jesus Do?”

Wanna know what I believe He’s doing to these “Christians” who show contempt instead of concern, a lack of love instead of loving kindness?

I’ll tell you.

He’d say,  “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone.”

He’ll wait.

And so will I.

 

Join in the Fray: Do you have a stone to throw?

I’m blogging every day in the month of April in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

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Filed Under: NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black. White, Blog, BlogHer, dating, gay, homosexual, homosexuality, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, lesbian, rant, rave, vent

Announcement: This is a No Censorship Zone

April 3, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 7 Comments

With that being said, please know that a rant is coming tomorrow.

You have been warned.

NO CENSORING

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Join in the Fray: What pushes your buttons?

I’m blogging every day in the month of April in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

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Filed Under: Announcements, NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: anger, angry, Black, Black women, Black. White, blogging, BlogHer, dating, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, rant, rave, swirling

Don’t Say I Didn’t Tell You . . . .

April 1, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 4 Comments

road passing through field . . . . to buckle up!

March was so phenomenal that I’m still working on my March reflection post. In the meantime, stay tuned for a jam-packed month of blog posts filled with all things diversity, positivity, and empowerment. 

Several guest posters have reached out to me, along with some lovely Swirl couples who are willing to share their stories of life and love with us.

One of our readers is going to give us a blow-by-blow account of a “first” Swirl date (hilarious!).

I also have a very special announcement coming up at the end of the month. You don’t want to miss out, so if you haven’t already subscribed, I invite you to do it now.

Let’s ease on down the road! Woot Woot! 

Join in the Fray: What’s the month of April looking like for you?

I’m blogging every day in the month of April in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to subscribe and comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

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Filed Under: Announcements, NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: April, Black, Black women, Black. White, Blog, blogging, BlogHer, couples, dating, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, interracial romance, March, NaBloPoMo, Spring, swirling

How to Have a Quiet Moment

March 30, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway Leave a Comment

 

How To Have A Quiet Moment

When we were little kids, my Mother developed a little practice that she still uses to this day. Whenever she felt the need to have some space (in hindsight, I kinda think she’d do this whenever she just wanted a nap), she would go to her bedroom and close the door. Just before she closed the door, she’d tell us: “Ok; I’m having my quiet moment.”

My two brothers and I knew and understood exactly what “I’m having my quiet moment” meant. Unless the house was burning down or one of us was bleeding, Mother was not to be disturbed. It also meant that we needed to keep our voices down – or better yet, go find a book to read.

March has been a very eventful month – in a good way – so today, I’m having a quiet moment. I’m sitting outside soaking up the sunshine, enjoying the Spring breeze, and relishing the stillness. My mind is clear; my body and spirit are refreshed.

So, you wanna know how to have a Quiet Moment?

  • Retreat to your “peaceful place.” That place can be your bedroom, front porch, deck – any place where you can enjoy some uninterrupted time.
  • Take some deep breaths, refocus, and re-center. Shut down any clamorous thoughts, and shut out any “duty oriented” thoughts that try to creep in. The goal is to clear your mind – the same way you would take a broom and sweep away leaves.
  • If you’re outside, enjoy the elements: The feel of the warm sun against your skin, the delightfulness of the cool air, the sounds of nature. Remember, you’re having a Quiet Moment – so luxuriate and enjoy those things you normally wouldn’t even notice.
  • If you’re inside, turn off the television or radio. Refuse to allow yourself to be distracted. Get in tune with you, and release everything else.

Today I’m fortunate enough to have the time off and on all day to enjoy some quiet moments, and I’m taking full advantage of them.

On April 1, I’m planning to post a recap of the events that made March such an awesome month. Rosetta Thurman, blog mistress over at Happy Black Woman, inspired me with her advocacy and example of engaging in a reflection of each month of a year. At the end of the year, you’re able to look back and reflect on the entire year

Even though January and February were a bit of a blur, I captured January because I blogged every day. I blogged every week in February (and made sure to keep up with my  journal) so I have that month as well. March is going to mark my “official” start of reflecting on my months, so stay tuned for that post on Monday morning.

I believe I’m going to take BlogHer’s April NaBloPoMo challenge for April, which means I’ll be blogging every day (obviously I’m a glutton for punishment).

I’m so excited and grateful for the things happening in my life – I can’t wait to see what April holds!

Join in the Fray: How do you have a Quiet Moment?

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

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Filed Under: Black Women Living Well, Health & Exercise Tagged With: Black, Black women, Black. White, blogging, dating, interracial, interracial dating, interracial relationships, March, quiet moment, reflection, relaxation, rest, Spring, swirling

Why You Need L.C. Johnson’s Red Lipstick Manifesta in Your Life!

March 15, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway Leave a Comment

RED LIPSTICK

I’m a huge fan of L.C. Coleman Johnson’s Colored Girl Confidential blog and read it regularly.

This week, fresh after marrying the love of her life and getting back into blogging, LC launched a YouTube video entitled The Red Lipstick Manifesta.

When describing the Manifesta, LC says,

 “The Red Lipstick Manifesta is a love note to every woman who has ever felt overwhelmed or discouraged or just plain not good enough; a love note to every woman has been told not to speak until she is spoken to… and then is never spoken to; a love note to every woman who, despite all odds, refuses to believe that she is less than or somehow undeserving of love, success, and happiness. It is my gift to myself and to you.”

THIS is why I believe you need The Red Lipstick Manifesta in your life!

LC continues,

“If you believe, like I believe, that women – smart, sassy, determined, ambitious, perfectly imperfect colored women – have the power to change the world, to do work that they love, to dream a bigger dream than the one that has been handed to them,
then The Red Lipstick Manifesta was written and produced with you in mind.

I may have written the manifesta, but it will always be OUR message.”

I LOVE the Manifesta, and I believe you will, too.

Please check out the video, give it a Like, and pass it on!

Join in the Fray: What’s YOUR mantra for life?

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

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Filed Under: Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black, Black women, Black. White, couples, dating, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, lipstick, manifesta, manifesto, red lipstick

The Best Way to Fly Solo

February 26, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 3 Comments

MASSAGE 2

Some of you may not know it, but I’m a licensed massage therapist.

(Pauses to listen to the sound of my personal stock going up; pats self on back).

I’m a licensed massage therapist and I have the great fortune to teach continuing education classes at the University of Louisiana. My class is called “Couples Massage for Fun and Relaxation.”

This past Thursday I had the pleasure of teaching my class. I had been informed a week prior by the class administrators that, per my approval, my class was going to have an odd number.

Hold up . . . an odd number of attendees???

That meant someone who signed up for the class was Flying Solo. 

Flying Solo? In a Couples Massage class??? Who was this brave soul???

FLYING SOLO 2

Needless to say, I was intrigued. I gave my approval, and informed the class administrator that the Soloist just needed to agree to be my partner. 

Fast forward to class night and, lo and behold, I didn’t just have one Soloist, I had two.

And both of them were men.

(Go ahead and faint from the shock. I’ll wait).

Yes, indeed. These two guys had signed up for the class, sans a female (or male) partner. They were taking a Couples Massage, and they were flying solo.

Turns out Jack and Robert* had decided that even though they weren’t currently attached, they wanted to be prepared for when they did have a significant other. 

So, along with the six other couples in the class, Jack (the younger, very cute White dude) and Robert (the older, very handsome White dude) learned the five basic massage strokes and had a blast. They also enjoyed the pleasure of serving as the class guinea pigs – and treated to two hours of constant back, shoulder, neck, scalp, and face massages by Yours Truly.

The moral of the story?

The best way to fly solo is to go in, be fearless, and exceed your objectives!

Here’s how Jack and Robert accomplished it:

  • They refused to allow the “Couples” designation stop them from signing up
  • They refused to give in to the fear of the unknown
  •  They refused to be embarrassed by arriving solo
  • They focused on what they had (a desire to enhance their skills) instead of on what they didn’t have (a girlfriend)
  • They maintained a healthy, optimistic perspective on their future relationships
  • They took proactive steps to be prepared
  • They were determined to have fun

FLYING SOLO

Yes, I know that single women have been encouraged to venture out Solo. We’re encouraged to dine out alone, go to the movies alone, travel, etc. We’re told, Live your best life now! Don’t wait for a partner! 

I cosign and practice all of that, and thankfully I enjoy my own company. What’s refreshing to me is the fact that Jack and Robert held such an optimistic view of their dating lives, and demonstrated fearlessness when it came to preparing.

And you know what? The other members of the class didn’t make fun of Jack and Rob – they applauded them. The husbands gave them knowing looks and shout outs of approval, and the ladies made sure to give them compliments and encouragement.

Jack (the younger guy) paid close attention to everything I said, to make sure he was doing everything correctly. Rob (the older guy) asked lots of questions and wanted to know all the variations of each of the strokes. 

(Cough, cough. Anybody catch what I just said? Moving right along . . . . )

I’ve been talking about taking a Zydeco dancing class. I’m so inspired by Jack and Rob, I’ve decided to just do what they did: Sign up, partner or not. 

I even mentioned my intentions in class, and guess what? Jack was already signed up – again, Flying Solo! He immediately offered to be my partner (tee hee hee!) and used his iPhone to look up the class on the spot. 

Alas, Jack’s class was already full (darn it!).

But guess who asked for my number – and guess who’s signed up for the next one? 

Join in the Fray: How well do you Fly Solo?

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl, All rights reserved.

 

 

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Black, Black women, Black. White, class, continuing ed, continuing education, couples, couples massage, fun, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, Massage, massage classes, massage strokes, relaxation, swirl, swirling

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Welcome!

I’m Michelle Matthews-Calloway, and I’m A Swirl Girl! Greetings to you from The Swirl World. We encourage Black women to expand their relationship options by dating and marrying interracially. Our overarching mission is to see Black Women live their best life. Come Swirl with us in The Swirl World™, where we celebrate Black women and the diverse men who love us!™

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