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The Swirl World

Celebrating and Elevating Black Women - mind, body, soul and spirit!


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When Failure Becomes the Sweetest Success

April 16, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 4 Comments

Like Father Like Daughter

The saying “Everybody loves a winner” probably couldn’t be more true when we are speaking of ourselves. Sure, winning and being successful is more important to some of us than others, yet I don’t believe anyone  just enjoys losing or failing.

With that being said, tonight I learned how failure can turn into a sweet success.

Those of you who are my Facebook friends may remember that a few months or so ago (I checked; it was actually October 28, 2012. Wow, how time flies! o_O) my Dad attempted to make praline candy in the microwave. I got sucked into trying to “help” him, and three times in one night, this was the result:

BURNT PECANS

Whelp, when I came in tonight, Daddy was at it again. This time, he was making candy the old-fashioned way – on top of the stove in a cast iron skillet.

He was just a’ stirrin’ and a’ stirrin’, and of course I got sucked in again and joined him. Daddy couldn’t find the new recipe he was using, and he had put in his ingredients from memory. Even though he and I have seen homemade candy being made a least a jillion times, neither of us could remember what to do next.

We had a good time trying to think of all the steps; laughing and cracking jokes about how my cheap Aunt Mary took shortcuts and her candy always came out too thin, thinking fondly of the fact that my S-I-L infused her candy with peanut butter (delicious!) and how when I was growing up I loved the bowl and spoon almost more than the candy and would have to beat back my two brothers in order to get it. 

I did remember that at some point in the process you’re supposed to drop some of the candy “juice” in cold water;  if it formed a ball, then the candy was ready to spread.

Ahem.

What I didn’t remember is that you do that when the pecans are already in the hot candy mix, because you have a very small window of time in which to spread the pralines before the candy starts seizing (learned that term from the show Chopped).

Cough.

What we would up with was this:

PRALINES 04 16 2013

Candied pecans!

If I say so myself, they are delicious. Even though we didn’t get the “pralines” we were after, Daddy and I had a wonderful time in the kitchen. I spread out the parchment paper and brushed it with butter, and took the skillet from him when I saw it was getting too heavy for him to hold. 

We’d done a lot of laughing and talking, and when the time came to spread the candy, we worked wordlessly, but with a rhythm that was instinctive.

The more time I spend with my Dad, the more I’m learning how very much I have his temperament and outlook. We didn’t view our candied-pecans-not-pralines as a failure – no, quite the contrary!

I deliberately left some in the skillet and went to work on scraping the pot and loudly licking the spoon; my Dad smacked his lips as he put the very warm candied pecans in his mouth.

It was a moment of sheer joy.

Daddy turned to me and said, “Well, we would have had the same result if they were whole and we broke them up, right?”   

Being the Father’s Daughter that I am, I said gleefully, “You betcha!”

For Daddy and I, the glass is never half empty. He’s the eternal optimist, and I thankfully revel in this trait I received from him. Have I been hurt? Of course. Has life sometimes looked very bleak and dark, without a ray of sunshine in sight? You betcha!

The secret lies in learning how to properly view those events and circumstances that appear to be failures; to salvage whatever remains and use it to carry you to the victories that will eventually come.  Understanding, ultimately, that failures serve to sweeten your success. 

And you know what? Candy coated pecans taste just as good – if not better – than whole pralines!

Join in the Fray: When has your “failure” turned into sweet success?

I’m blogging every day in the month of April in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

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Filed Under: NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: baking, Black, Black women, Black. White, BlogHer, candy, cast iron, cooking, Daddy, dating, daughter, Father, interracial, interracial relationships, NaBloPoMo, pecan candy, pecan pralines, pecans, pralines, skillet, swirling

For the Good Times

April 15, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 3 Comments

FOR THE GOOD TIMES

Like me, I’m sure you were shocked and saddened to hear of the tragic turn of events at today’s Boston Marathon.

I’d planned to tell you all about the “VIPink Party” I attended Saturday night (I have the post all loaded in and ready to go).

Needless to say, all of that seems pretty frivolous now, when some of the Marathon runners and attendees are hanging on to life by a thread. Others made it out intact, but I’m sure the lives of those in attendance are now turned upside down.

I can’t help but think of the joy and laughter I experienced at Saturday’s event. I enjoyed the company I was with, and I loved being out and about. There’s something about events like the Marathon, concerts, festivals, shows, sporting events, movies and even fundraising dinners that make us happy.

We put on the glitz – or good walking shoes! – and set out to have a good time with friends and family. We don’t approach these events with fear; no, it’s the exact opposite. Many of the people who ran the Marathon had trained for months. Being there was a milestone for many; for some, an event to cross off on their bucket lists.

We don’t expect our events to end in tragedy. No, we expect to Facebook it, Tweet it, commemorate it with pictures, or even blog about it. We plan to place these events in our categories of “good times,” and never expect them to become remembrances of unspeakable horror and fear.

My heartfelt condolences, prayers, and sympathy go out to the families of all who were affected. My hope is that one day; someday, they may again experience good times.

Join in the Fray: When was the last occasion you had a “good time?”

I’m blogging every day in the month of April in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

 

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Filed Under: NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black, Black women, Black. White, BlogHer, bomb, Boston Marathon, dating, explosion, interracial, interracial dating, interracial relationships, NaBloPoMo, runners, running, swirling, tragedy

By The Time You Read This . . . .

April 14, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 2 Comments

BY THE TIME YOU READ THIS

Chat later, ok? Allergies are giving me the BLUES!

Sniffle . . . sniffle . . . SNEEZE!

Join in the Fray: What’s the pollen count in YOUR city?

I’m blogging every day in the month of April in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

 

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Filed Under: NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: asleep. allergies, Black, Black women, Black. White, BlogHer, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, NaBloPoMo, read, sick, sneeze, sniffles, swirling

Who’s The Best Ride or Die Chick?

April 13, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 5 Comments

JJRJ PHOTOMy Bestie, Jacqueline Jillene Robbins Jackson! 

We met at a church convention 22 years ago and have been best friends ever since.

Happy Birthday to the bestest Best Friend and Soror in the whole wide world.

And many more . . . . .

Join in the Fray: Who’s your Bestie?

I’m blogging every day in the month of April for BlogHer’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading and do leave a comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

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Filed Under: NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: best friend, bestie, Birthday, Black, Black women, Black. White, BlogHer, Happy Birthday, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, NaBloPoMo, swirling

Things You CAN’T Do When You’re NOT a Dog

April 12, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 3 Comments

nibbles-225x300

So ok; today this video had me laughing so hard I just had to share it!

I’m also sending a shout out to Nibbles, who by far is the best little dog in the whole wide world.

Dogs rule!

 

Join in the Fray: Are you on #TeamDog or #TeamCat?

 

I’m blogging every day in the month of April in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

 

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

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Filed Under: NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black, Black women, Black. White, BlogHer, Cat, dating, dog, funny, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, joke, NaBloPoMo, swirling, video

The Best Way to Keep Calm

April 11, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 4 Comments

KEEP CALM AND BUY SHOES

Lots of things go on in our immediate and extended circles. Many of these things serve as distractions to keep us off-center and unfocused.

Sometimes we immediately see and recognize these things for what they are. Other times we don’t realize that something (or someone) has slipped us the okey-doke until we’ve fallen for it: We’ve invested a lot of time and energy in something that is not serving us.

The good news is that when we come to ourselves, there’s always something we can do – be it a ritual or an activity – that gets us back on track.

So, what do I to “Keep Calm?”

I “Keep Calm and Read a Book,” or “Keep Calm and Drink Coffee” (or better yet, “Keep Calm and Buy Jewelry!”).

And of course, the best thing I can do is “Keep Calm and Pray.”

Join in the Fray: What’s the best way for you to “Keep Calm?”

I’m blogging every day in the month of April in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

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Filed Under: NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black, Black women, Black. White, BlogHer, calm, calmness, dating, distractions, focus, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, NaBloPoMo, swirling, unfocused

Happy National Sibling’s Day!

April 10, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 2 Comments

MOM AND SISTERSWho knew??? I certainly did not.

*Hangs head in shame*

Whelp, Happy National Sibling’s Day to the Two Bestest Brothers In The Whole Wide World!

(It would be even nicer if I had my brothers’ photos, but for some reason I can’t locate them on my computer. That’s why you see a photo of my Mother and her sisters. Can you guess which one is my Mom?).

*Tries to wipe egg off face but can’t*

Join in the Fray: Give your siblings a shout-out!

I’m blogging every day in the month of April for BlogHer’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading and do leave a comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

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Filed Under: NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black women, Black. White, BlogHer, brother, brothers, dating, Fray, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, NaBloPoMo, National Sibling's Day, siblings, swirling

What Would Jesus Do? (The Remix)

April 9, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 4 Comments

http://www.dreamstime.com/stock-image-ancient-man-throwing-stone-image4028031

My time has been stretched thin for the past two weeks, so I’m a bit behind on the news.

I’m not so behind, however, that I missed the tragic news that Matthew Warren, the 27-year old son of Pastor Rick Warren, took his own life.  Rick Warren is Pastor of the Saddleback Church and author of the prodigious bestseller The Purpose Driven Life.

My heart goes out to Pastor Warren and his family. Enduring the death of a loved one is never easy regardless of the circumstances. Unfortunately, the pain brought on by an occurrence like this is exacerbated when you live your life in the proverbial fishbowl – first cousin to a glass house.

I’m too weary to be angered by the onslaught that Pastor Warren is receiving from people I’ll simply call “The Judgmental.” They sit on both sides of the aisle; Christian and non-Christian, yet their message is the same. In some ways, the criticisms Pastor Warren is receiving reminds me of similar words hurled at Jesus when He was on the cross – pretty much the most crucial time in His life:

“He saved others,” they said, “but he can’t save himself! He’s the king of Israel! Let him come down now from the cross, and we will believe in him.” Matthew 27:42, NIV

Really?

Is the loss of a son through the heart-piercing means of suicide something else that we judge people about?

Blogger Jenny Bolt Price had this to say on her Facebook page:

“Why would anyone kill themselves?”
“Why would she have an abortion?”
“__________ is just sick! I don’t know how you could do/be that!”
“Drug addicts want to be stuck. They want to be hooked on drugs so they don’t have to grow up.”

Have you heard “well meaning” people say these things? Or statements like this?

Sin is sin. I won’t deny that. Not at all. Wrong is wrong. What God says stands.
And Grace is Grace. 
It too is undeniable. 

Think about what you say, and who might be around you as you say it. 

They will know we are Christians by our LOVE – not our judgment. 

(this comes in the wake of many strong voices saying awful things to/about Rick Warren and family in the loss of their son to suicide) 

I’ve been the victim of horrific judgment and even slander, so I know what it feels like to receive blame instead of a blessing, criticism instead of caring, and loathing instead of love.

My love and prayers are not only with Pastor Warren, but with anyone else who bears the brunt of someone else’s judgment, unkind words, and uncharitable attitude.

What Would Jesus Do?  Well, examine your own actions and thoughts. Would His mirror yours?

I’ll wait.

Join in the Fray: What’s your first, true response when you hear of a tragedy?

I’m blogging every day in the month of April in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

 

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Filed Under: NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black women, BlogHer, criticism, criticize, death, Facebook, finger pointing, hate, hateful, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, judge, judgment, NaBloPoMo, Purpose Driven Life, Rick Warren, suicide, unkind

Drop It Like It’s Squat!

April 8, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 2 Comments

30 DAY SQUAT CHALLENGE

I’ve met few challenges I didn’t like, and this one is no exception. The fit folks over at Inspired Fitness posted this photo on their Facebook page.

The challenge started on April 4, so I’m a few days late. No worries; I can start today and work it into May.

Who’s in with me???

 

Join in the Fray: How do you “Drop it like it’s hot?”

I’m blogging every day in the month of April in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

 

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Filed Under: NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: 30-day, April, Black, Black women, Black. White, Blog, BlogHer, challenge, dating, exercise, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, month, NaBloPoMo, squats, swirling

Do You Know Where You’re Going To?

April 7, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 2 Comments

vector image of a confused businesswoman

Do you know where you’re going to?

Do you like the things that life is showing you?

Where are you going to?

Do you know?

~From The Theme from Mahogany, written by Michael Masser & Gerald Goffin

We’re bombarded with a multitude of things in any given day, you and I. World news, state and local news, job-related interactions with coworkers, the needs of friends and family. There’s the constant deluge from social media; Facebook and Twitter updates, blog posts; information received via radio, television, and the telephone.

Yes, all of that is a lot. An awful lot. We have to sift through it, use some and discard the rest. If you’re like me, you try to take the good and leave the bad alone. I don’t like clogging up my mind or my spirit with a lot of negativity or otherwise soul crushing things. Quite enough of that coming from life itself, without me deliberately ingesting it.

My plan is to become much more diligent about what I allow my eyes to see, and what I bother to read. I have a natural curiosity, and I love reading and learning new things, yet it’s time to become much more discriminating. Time is precious, and I want to spend it soaking up the good stuff – those things that will encourage, uplift and inspire me not tick me off. 

As I move into this next week, I’m determined to focus on where I’m going and what I’m doing. I like what life is showing me – those things that I’m able to accomplish with the help of God and by His grace. I know where I’m going, yet I’m open to the surprises that I know will pop up along the way.

I know where I’m going to – and I’m enjoying the trip.

http://youtu.be/Uf4P6rGMxWs

Join in the Fray: Do you know where you’re going to?

I’m blogging every day in the month of April in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.

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Filed Under: NaBloPoMo Challenge, Series, Special, Uncategorized Tagged With: Black, Black women, Black. White, BlogHer, direction, Facebook, interracial, interracial dating, interracial marriage, interracial relationships, life, media, NaBloPoMo, news, Purpose, reading, swirling

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Welcome!

I’m Michelle Matthews-Calloway, and I’m A Swirl Girl! Greetings to you from The Swirl World. We encourage Black women to expand their relationship options by dating and marrying interracially. Our overarching mission is to see Black Women live their best life. Come Swirl with us in The Swirl World™, where we celebrate Black women and the diverse men who love us!™

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