• Home
  • About The Swirl World
  • Meet The Contributors
  • Shop
  • Contact Us
  • Disclosure Policy
  • Privacy Policy

The Swirl World

Celebrating and Elevating Black Women - mind, body, soul and spirit!


Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy

He Says, She Says: Attraction

July 15, 2016 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway Leave a Comment

Attraction

Attraction.

Either you feel it for someone, or you don’t.

Known as “The Southern Swirlers,” Millennials Angelique “Angel” Long and Jonathan Gamel are back with another installment of our new series, He Says, She Says.

For each installment, we’re posing the same question to Angel and Jon.

Our purpose is to glean some insight not only into the male and female perspective on the same question but more important, from the perspective of a Black woman and a White man involved in an interracial relationship.

A Question Of Attraction

Today, Angel and Jon respond to the question:

What attracts you at first glance?

Jon He Says: Jonathan

At first glance, a woman’s body language is what attracts or deters me. She has to carry herself like a “Lady.” Not so much prim and proper, because I am in no way a model for manners.

I believe at first glance, based solely on body language, most people can form a fairly accurate opinion of a person’s character. It may sound crazy, but I believe “Body Language” can transcend just physical interaction.

Most of the time we meet people for the first time these days over social media. So, your “Body Language” on social media is in what you post, what you share, and how you interact with your “Friends.”

Other factors that can increase (or decrease) attraction? Things like the way she speaks to waiters and waitresses; how she handles a small mishap at the cash register; if she holds the door for someone behind her.

Does she post pictures with her family or friends in the club? The “Body Language” will tell it all!

Angel She Says: Angel

What attracts me to a man at first glance are his eyes. I truly do believe that the eyes are a “window to the soul.” If you have a warm soul, most likely it will be evident through your eyes. Of course, that is only based on my personal experiences and opinion.

The next thing would be his smile. For some reason, I have an obsession with a gorgeous smile. However, just because a man has a nice smile and loving eyes, it doesn’t make him a candidate for dating me. He has to possess so much more: good character, respect, manners, ambition, intelligence, and confidence.

Never date someone SOLELY based on their physical appearance because good looks can change, but a good man will always be a good man.

Join in the Fray: What features/factors attract you at first glance?


Got a question for Angel and Jonathan? Send it c/o ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorl.com.

To connect with Jonathan and Angel, “Like” their Facebook page by clicking here.

 

Copyright ©2016 Michelle Matthews Calloway, The Swirl World™ LLC, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, The Swirl World Podcast™, The Swirl World Inspiration Daily™, Swirl Nation™, All rights reserved. Photos used with permission.

Be sure to “Like” The Swirl World on Facebook and request to join our private Facebook Group!

 

 

Be Sociable! Share this:

  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr
  • Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window) Reddit
  • Click to share on Pocket (Opens in new window) Pocket
  • Click to print (Opens in new window) Print

Like this:

Like Loading...

Filed Under: 2016, 2016 Posts, Black Women Living Well, BW/WM, Fantastic Fans, He Says, She Says Tagged With: Black women, interracial couple, interracial relationships, interracial romance, life, living well, love, White men

He Says, She Says: Boundaries

June 24, 2016 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 1 Comment

He Says, She Says

Millennials Angelique Evette Long and Jonathan Gamel are back with another installment of and our new series, He Says, She Says.

Each week, we’re posing the same question to Angel and Jon.

Our purpose is to glean some insight not only into the male and female perspective on the same question but more important, from the perspective of a Black woman and a White man involved in an interracial relationship.

Today’s Question: Let’s Talk Boundaries

This week, Angel and Jonathan respond to the question:

Give a general explanation of boundaries.  How do you define boundaries? Why do Black women specifically, and women in general, need them?

He Says, She SaysHe Says: Jonathan

If you are intending to date as a means of finding a partner, you must have boundaries. If you do not know exactly what you are willing to accept then how will you ever find someone who is compatible for the long-term?

I believe women in general are almost forced to set strict, more defined boundaries than men. If allowed, men will push the limits that a woman has set, and might not necessarily be comfortable with. She has to be confident enough within herself to uphold the boundaries that she has previously set, and be willing to move on if the man doesn’t want to comply.

He Says, She SaysShe Says: Angel

Establishing boundaries is very important when it comes to dating. When you set boundaries it means that you have a strong sense of self and stand firmly on your beliefs and standards. In doing so, you will not tolerate anyone who cannot respect any boundary you set.

You feel comfortable telling a man “no” when he attempts to cross that line, without you feeling unsure or guilty. Remember, no matter how good a man may seem to you, if he is having trouble respecting your boundaries, then he is not the man for you.

Establishing healthy boundaries for your life in general is a good thing. It keeps you from over-working, over-giving, and over-doing yourself.

 


Join In The Fray: Got a question for Angel and Jonathan? Send it c/o ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorl.com.

To connect with Jonathan and Angel, “Like” their Facebook page by clicking here.

See you next time!

Copyright ©2016 Michelle Matthews Calloway, The Swirl World™ LLC, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, The Swirl World Podcast™, The Swirl World Inspiration Daily™, Swirl Nation™, All rights reserved. Photos used with permission.

Be sure to “Like” The Swirl World on Facebook and request to join our private Facebook Group!

Be Sociable! Share this:

  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr
  • Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window) Reddit
  • Click to share on Pocket (Opens in new window) Pocket
  • Click to print (Opens in new window) Print

Like this:

Like Loading...

Filed Under: 2016, 2016 Posts, BW/WM, Fantastic Fans, He Says, She Says Tagged With: Black women, boundaries, dating, interracial dating, interracial relationships, love, White men

He Says, She Says: Installment 1

June 16, 2016 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway Leave a Comment

He Says, She Says

So, last week we introduced you to millennials Angelique Evette Long and Jonathan Gamel and our new, He Says, She Says feature.

Each week, we’re going to pose the same question to this couple.

Our purpose is to glean some insight not only into the male and female perspective on the same question but more important, from the perspective of a Black woman and a White man involved in an interracial relationship.

Keep reading – you’ll see they’re not shy about giving their opinion!

Today’s Question

Today, Angel and Jonathan respond to the question:

Black women get a LOT of flak from seemingly all sides in relation to their dating practices. What are they doing right when it comes to dating?

He Says, She SaysHe Says: Jonathan 

I really don’t believe that there is a quintessential “right” or “wrong” way to go about dating in general. Each individual has a background that is just as unique as they are. So I believe that putting a “right” or “wrong” label on someone’s approach at dating would be unfair. Instead, I would prefer to use “misguided” rather than “wrong.”

Society today puts so much pressure on young women to be the perfect shape, size, and color. For example, in a lot of ways society praises the half-naked, slim physique, lighter skinned woman; while also not shunning, but not fully accepting a professionally dressed, full-figured, darker skinned woman as equally attractive in most cases.

So many beautiful young women are being broken by society’s standards. If a woman does not feel confident and worthy within herself, how can she possibly approach dating in a healthy manner, with a positive outlook? In my opinion, this is what leads to extreme promiscuity, self-exploitation via social media, and self-harm.

The lack of confidence and self-worth caused by not fitting into what society calls “attractive” is, in my opinion, the reason why there are so many
females that feel like they’re doing it “wrong.”

On the other side of the equation, we have the women that society praises for their looks. I believe this causes an overly confident belief system. Society, in general, is teaching this set of women something totally different from what they are teaching the others.

For example, they are taught that they are “better” because of their body shape, skin color, or the way they dress themselves (or the lack thereof). Although these women are being praised, they are still being broken by the same system.

Each set of women is being played against the other for various reasons. On one hand, you have a broken young woman who has always been told
she wasn’t “good enough.” She will almost always lack the skills necessary to approach dating in a positive, confident manner. This can cause her to do things out of her character in hopes of attracting a man.

Unknowingly, the same things catching the attention of potential temporary suitors are also the exact things that may deter a potential long-term partner.

Meanwhile, on the other hand, you have an equally broken young woman because she was always told that she was “better.” She will almost always lack the skills necessary to approach dating in a realistic, humble manner. This can cause her to be overly confident, and have an exaggerated self-appraisal. This exaggerated sense of self-appraisal will deter potential long-term partners because she believes that nothing is ever good enough for her, in various aspects of life.

Both sets of women are equally broken by the same system!  They have been “misguided” from adolescence. The actions that they take are not
“wrong” because that is what they have been taught by society. Yet, they are extremely misguided.

This doesn’t just work for different physical appearances; it can be attributed to many other aspects of a young woman’s life. I don’t believe a person can be considered “wrong” for doing what the world around them has taught them to do.

Ultimately, you have to be yourself and do what is right for you. Keep your head held high and remember; love yourself first!

He Says, She SaysShe Says: Angel

Answer to Question 1:

When it comes to what Black women and women in general, are doing “right” in the sense of dating, I believe it’s definitely being confident; knowing who you are and owning it.

You have to know your worth so you won’t keep dating the wrong men.

Also, do some serious introspection. If there are characteristics that you feel are unhealthy for yourself and other people, then change those things in order to be a better YOU; not just because you want to be liked and accepted by someone else.

Men love a confident woman; they see it like this: “If a woman can love herself this much, I can imagine the love she has to offer me!”

Question 1 – Part 2

As far as what women are doing “wrong” when it comes to dating, I would have to say not loving yourself. I say this because when you truly love yourself, you value your mind, body, and soul. Therefore, you do what is necessary to keep those things healthy. When you do that, you will naturally be attractive to men.

Think about what most men want from a woman: intelligence, well-kept, confident, and classy. Not to offend anyone at all, but I don’t believe a good man is looking to date a woman who shows off her body inappropriately on social media and to the public, or a woman who is giving her body to multiple men at one time.

So reverting back to what I said, when you love yourself you value yourself.

I know many women may be thinking, “Well, I am very confident and I always carry myself like a lady, yet I still cannot find a man!”

I want to let these women know that they should not be discouraged; and by all means, never degrade yourself to catch the attention of a man. When the time is right, your Prince Charming will come and sweep you off of your feet! Just be patient; it will be worth the wait, trust me.

 


Join In The Fray: Got a question for Angel and Jonathan? Send it c/o ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorl.com.

See you next time!

Copyright ©2016 Michelle Matthews Calloway, The Swirl World™ LLC, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, The Swirl World Podcast™, The Swirl World Inspiration Daily™, Swirl Nation™, All rights reserved. Photos used with permission.

Be sure to “Like” The Swirl World on Facebook and request to join our private Facebook Group!

Be Sociable! Share this:

  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr
  • Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window) Reddit
  • Click to share on Pocket (Opens in new window) Pocket
  • Click to print (Opens in new window) Print

Like this:

Like Loading...

Filed Under: 2016, 2016 Posts, Black Women Living Well, BW/WM, Fantastic Fans, He Says, She Says Tagged With: beauty, Black women, dating, dating advice, interracial couple, interracial relationships, interracial romance, life, living well, love, self image

Introducing A New Feature: He Says, She Says!

June 9, 2016 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway Leave a Comment

Depending how long you’ve been hearing about or reading self-help books of the “relationship” genre, you may or may not be familiar with the iconic NY Times bestseller, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: A Practical Guide for Improving Communication & Getting What You Want in Your Relationships, by John Gray, PhD.

In his book, “Dr. John Gray provides a practical and proven way for men and women to improve their communication by acknowledging the differences between their needs, desires, and behaviors.”

The short version?

The premise of the book is simple. Men and women are different.

(Duh!)

We Have A New Feature

Yeah, men and women are different. Throw in the added twist of an interracial relationship and well, things can get very interesting.

Today, we take great pleasure in introducing a new feature here on the blog: He Says, She Says!

Enter millennials Angelique Evette Long and Jonathan Gamel. As we progress with this series, we’re going to pose the same question to this couple.

Our purpose is to glean some insight not only into the male and female perspective on the same question, but more important, from the perspective of a Black woman and a White man involved in an interracial relationship.

Meet Angelique and Jonathan!

She Says: Angelique Evette Long

He Says, She SaysMy name is Angelique Evette Long, but I go by the nickname Angel. I’m a 26-year-old with an “old soul.” In other words, I’m a bit old-fashioned.

I was born and raised in a small country town called Belle Mina, Alabama. I’m a mother of 3 amazing children; ages 8, 6, and 3. I’m a full-time college student at Athens State University majoring in Psychology, and where I am an executive officer and co-founder of SGA Online.

My passion is to help people who have a mental illness cope with life.

After I complete undergrad and grad school, I plan on using my Master’s Degree to start my own practice; while also working on my PhD.

I’ve always been a helper; whether it be through giving advice or volunteering. I believe that God placed us on Earth to be a light for others, so with each day my heart is open and willing.

He Says: Jonathan Gamel

He Says, She SaysWell, my name is Jonathan Gamel. I’m 24 years old, and I come from a small home in a small town in Alabama.

Right out of high school I started a job working construction because college just didn’t make sense to me.

After 6 years at that job I decided that I was finally tired of using my body, and I was ready to start using my brain. I came up with the idea for an amazing mobile app that is expected to revolutionize the way event marketing is done.

The name of the app is EventPro. It’s in the early stages at the moment but it is coming along nicely. EventPro is a year in the making and I must say that it hasn’t been easy, but it was absolutely worth the risk.

Now I am here interacting with you guys; thanks to Angel. I really appreciate the opportunity that The Swirl World is affording me.

Most people dream of being able to tell their heartfelt opinions about important lifestyle topics to an audience of captivated listeners or readers, and here we are! I really hope that everyone enjoys reading the articles that will follow.

How They Met

He Says, She Says

Angel says,

“We met via social media; Snapchat to be exact. It had been a year since my previous relationship and I was still a little bitter, so one day I just decided to make a snap saying, “I’m convinced that no man can handle me!”

Jonathan saw my post and private messaged asking, “Is it possible that you create situations where no man can “handle” you?”

His response was so intriguing; I didn’t know whether to feel impressed or insulted!

I became slightly interested, so I messaged him back and we hit it off quite well. This month would make it one year ago since that initial conversation; we’ve been going strong ever since.

Jonathan and I want to reach out to those who may be struggling to find a partner, and/or to interracial couples that may need advice on the everyday issues that mixed relationships face.

It’s not easy being in an interracial relationship, especially when you’re from a place where dating outside of your race is not approved. Because we live in the South, we get the whispers and the rude stares whenever we go out in public.

It used to get to me at first because Jonathan is the first white guy I’ve ever dated, so I wasn’t used to that. Eventually, I told myself, ‘Stop being bothered by anyone who doesn’t approve of your relationship; they contribute nothing to your love life. What’s important is that I love Jonathan and he loves me. That’s all that will ever matter.’

So now when I notice the negative reactions from people, I just smile at them and keep going.

Our reasons for wanting to reach out to the singles looking to date outside of their race is that we understand that for some people, it takes little or no effort to find the mate they are looking for, but for others it isn’t so easy. We want to address these issues, and give advice based on our own personal experiences.

Next Week: Let The Questions Begin!

Stay tuned for the next edition of He Says, She Says, when Angel and Jonathan respond to the question:

Black women get a LOT of flak from seemingly all sides in relation to their dating practices. What are they doing right when it comes to dating?

Join In The Fray: Got a question for Angel and Jonathan?

Send it c/o ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorl.com.

See you next week for the inaugural edition of He Says, She Says!


Copyright ©2016 Michelle Matthews Calloway, The Swirl World™ LLC, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, The Swirl World Podcast™, The Swirl World Inspiration Daily™, Swirl Nation™, All rights reserved. Photos used with permission.

Be sure to “Like” The Swirl World on Facebook and request to join our private Facebook Group!

Be Sociable! Share this:

  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr
  • Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window) Reddit
  • Click to share on Pocket (Opens in new window) Pocket
  • Click to print (Opens in new window) Print

Like this:

Like Loading...

Filed Under: 2016, 2016 Posts, Announcements, Black Women Living Well, BW/WM, Fantastic Fans, She Says Tagged With: Black women, dating, interracial couple, interracial dating, interracial relationships, love, swirling, White men

The Swirl World Mug
The Swirl World Mug
by TheSwirlWorld

Join The Swirl Nation and Receive Updates Via Email!

Are You In?

Provide your email address if you'd like to hear from us from time to time. We promise we won't spam you!

Thank you!

You have successfully joined our subscriber list.

Looking for something? Search here!

Welcome!

I’m Michelle Matthews-Calloway, and I’m A Swirl Girl! Greetings to you from The Swirl World. We encourage Black women to expand their relationship options by dating and marrying interracially. Our overarching mission is to see Black Women live their best life. Come Swirl with us in The Swirl World™, where we celebrate Black women and the diverse men who love us!™

Join The Swirl World on Facebook

Join The Swirl World on Facebook

Listen to the Podcast on Sound Cloud

Join A Swirl Girl On Instagram

Instagram

Connect With Michelle On LinkedIn

View Michelle Matthews Calloway's profile on LinkedIn

Check Out Interracial Match!

InterracialMatch.com - the best interracial dating site!
InterracialMatch.com - the best interracial dating site!
The Swirl World Logo Flow Tee
The Swirl World Logo Flow Tee
by TheSwirlWorld
The Swirl World Logo Sticker
The Swirl World Logo Sticker
by TheSwirlWorld

Podcasts We Love

  • #SmartBrownVoices
  • Back2Us Radio Network
  • Behind The Brilliance
  • Black Girl Nerds
  • Design The Life You Want
  • Her Power Hustle
  • Interracial Jawn
  • Just Thinkin' Out Loud Media
  • Live By Design Inspiration Radio
  • Nerdy Black Chicks
  • The Freedom Biz
  • The Productive Woman
  • This Week In Blackness

Blogroll

  • 500and50
  • A Black Girl's Guide to Weight Loss
  • African American 101
  • Afrobella
  • Alaia Williams
  • Alphanista
  • Awesomely Luvvie
  • Baggage Reclaim
  • Beyond Black & White
  • Black Female Interracial Marriage
  • Black Girl Nerds
  • Black Girls Blogging
  • Black Women Deserve Better™
  • Black Women with Other Brothers
  • Black Women’s Interracial Relationship Circle
  • Bougie Black Girl
  • Chonilla
  • Courtney Herring
  • Elle Veg- All Things Vegetarian
  • For Harriet
  • Happy Black Woman
  • Interracial Dating Coach
  • Joyce L. Rodgers
  • Just Ask Kaye
  • Kaywanda Lamb
  • Littlefoot's Journey
  • LorMarie's Place
  • Married Girl in a Weird World
  • Mom's 'N Charge
  • MONETIZE THYSELF with Nicole Walters
  • Neecy's Nest
  • Oneika the Traveller
  • Petals
  • Socialite Dreams
  • Surviving Dating
  • Talk To Amber
  • The New Elegant Black Woman
  • The Social Graces & Savoir Faire Institute of Etiquette
  • The Sojourner’s Passport
  • The Style and Beauty Doctor
  • The Trendy Socialite
  • The Working Home Keeper
  • The World of Miss Glamtastic
  • Tia Delano
  • Water Cooler Convos

Copyright Terms:

All rights reserved. All work is the copyright of the respective owner, otherwise copyright ©2015 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, The Swirl World Podcast™, The Swirl World Inspiration Daily™, Swirl Nation™, all rights reserved, Dallas, TX, USA.
Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

Archives

  • October 2018 (1)
  • August 2018 (1)
  • May 2018 (1)
  • March 2018 (1)
  • February 2018 (1)
  • January 2018 (2)
  • December 2017 (1)
  • November 2017 (1)
  • October 2017 (1)
  • August 2017 (2)
  • July 2017 (2)
  • June 2017 (2)
  • May 2017 (2)
  • April 2017 (2)
  • March 2017 (1)
  • February 2017 (1)
  • January 2017 (2)
  • December 2016 (14)
  • November 2016 (3)
  • October 2016 (2)
  • September 2016 (1)
  • August 2016 (4)
  • July 2016 (9)
  • June 2016 (9)
  • May 2016 (11)
  • April 2016 (5)
  • March 2016 (11)
  • February 2016 (13)
  • January 2016 (7)
  • December 2015 (34)
  • November 2015 (32)
  • October 2015 (35)
  • September 2015 (34)
  • August 2015 (34)
  • July 2015 (32)
  • June 2015 (38)
  • May 2015 (40)
  • April 2015 (37)
  • March 2015 (37)
  • February 2015 (33)
  • January 2015 (37)
  • December 2014 (18)
  • November 2014 (7)
  • October 2014 (5)
  • September 2014 (8)
  • August 2014 (7)
  • July 2014 (12)
  • June 2014 (9)
  • May 2014 (3)
  • April 2014 (4)
  • March 2014 (8)
  • February 2014 (5)
  • January 2014 (7)
  • December 2013 (8)
  • November 2013 (2)
  • October 2013 (2)
  • September 2013 (4)
  • August 2013 (6)
  • July 2013 (30)
  • June 2013 (4)
  • May 2013 (5)
  • April 2013 (29)
  • March 2013 (5)
  • February 2013 (5)
  • January 2013 (31)
  • December 2012 (4)
  • November 2012 (29)
  • October 2012 (2)
  • August 2012 (1)
  • July 2012 (1)
  • June 2012 (3)
  • May 2012 (1)
  • April 2012 (1)
  • May 2011 (4)
  • April 2011 (5)
  • March 2011 (4)
  • February 2011 (4)
  • January 2011 (4)

Copyright © 2025 · The Swirl World™ LLC. All Rights Reserved. · Log in

%d