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He Says, She Says: Boundaries

June 24, 2016 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 1 Comment

He Says, She Says

Millennials Angelique Evette Long and Jonathan Gamel are back with another installment of and our new series, He Says, She Says.

Each week, we’re posing the same question to Angel and Jon.

Our purpose is to glean some insight not only into the male and female perspective on the same question but more important, from the perspective of a Black woman and a White man involved in an interracial relationship.

Today’s Question: Let’s Talk Boundaries

This week, Angel and Jonathan respond to the question:

Give a general explanation of boundaries.  How do you define boundaries? Why do Black women specifically, and women in general, need them?

He Says, She SaysHe Says: Jonathan

If you are intending to date as a means of finding a partner, you must have boundaries. If you do not know exactly what you are willing to accept then how will you ever find someone who is compatible for the long-term?

I believe women in general are almost forced to set strict, more defined boundaries than men. If allowed, men will push the limits that a woman has set, and might not necessarily be comfortable with. She has to be confident enough within herself to uphold the boundaries that she has previously set, and be willing to move on if the man doesn’t want to comply.

He Says, She SaysShe Says: Angel

Establishing boundaries is very important when it comes to dating. When you set boundaries it means that you have a strong sense of self and stand firmly on your beliefs and standards. In doing so, you will not tolerate anyone who cannot respect any boundary you set.

You feel comfortable telling a man “no” when he attempts to cross that line, without you feeling unsure or guilty. Remember, no matter how good a man may seem to you, if he is having trouble respecting your boundaries, then he is not the man for you.

Establishing healthy boundaries for your life in general is a good thing. It keeps you from over-working, over-giving, and over-doing yourself.

 


Join In The Fray: Got a question for Angel and Jonathan? Send it c/o ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorl.com.

To connect with Jonathan and Angel, “Like” their Facebook page by clicking here.

See you next time!

Copyright ©2016 Michelle Matthews Calloway, The Swirl World™ LLC, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, The Swirl World Podcast™, The Swirl World Inspiration Daily™, Swirl Nation™, All rights reserved. Photos used with permission.

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Filed Under: 2016, 2016 Posts, BW/WM, Fantastic Fans, He Says, She Says Tagged With: Black women, boundaries, dating, interracial dating, interracial relationships, love, White men

About Michelle Matthews-Calloway

I'm a native Louisianan currently living in Dallas, TX. I have a B.S. degree in marketing, an MBA and a PhD in higher education administration. I love writing and research, and also thoroughly enjoy reading and working out.

I am passionate about cultural/ethnic diversity and interracial relationships; so much so that my dissertation focused on these concepts. I'm a widow, and I started dating interracially a few years after my husband passed away. In addition to blogging about interracial relationships and social issues, we also provide a podcast available on iTunes, Google Play, Spotify, iHeart Radio, Sound Cloud and Stitcher.

You can also find me on Twitter or Instagram @ASwirlGirl.

Do you love vintage photos and history with your pop culture? Them come and join me and Podcast Co-Host Adrienne London Leach on Facebook at Facebook.com/TheSwirlWorld. If you love our military, come and show our warriors some love at Facebook.com/Military Swirl.

In The Swirl World we celebrate and elevate Black Women - mind, body, soul and spirit!™

Comments

  1. JeffSt says

    June 26, 2016 at 12:46 PM

    People need boundaries even if they are in a committed relationship. I have a specific one in mind: no physical violence towards one another, period. Had to learn the hard way.

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