Archives for May 2014

Mike’s Advice On How To Change Your Life – Part 1

May 28, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 2 Comments

Cottesloe Beach, Perth, Western Australia. Photo courtesy of ©John Miocevich

So last week we shared the good news that our guy Mike in Australia appeared on a national television show and experienced an epiphany that changed his life – and all because of his connections to The Swirl World.

(See what Swirling will do for you? We’re just saying.)

One of the things we find so gratifying about publishing this blog is the fact that we know we are making a difference and changing people’s lives – and we have the emails, Facebook in-boxes, letters and comments to prove it.

He’s been on a journey of personal discovery, our Mike, and he is kind enough – and humble enough, we might add – to share it with us.

He’s a jewel in more ways than one, our Mike, not only because he’s willing to share his journey but because he’s also able to articulate it – and we are the better for this personal insight.

Mike’s life has changed – shifted – in a profound way. Read Mike’s post to learn more about what’s happening as a result of the shift.

Mike says:

You might wake up one day, set to change your life and how you live it, only to find yourself worried that you’ve completely messed it up, and worse it’s too late to do anything about it.

Standing amongst the rubble of plans you had for yourself, where you thought you would be in life and who you would be with, you might wonder “How did I get here?” What’s worse is that not only does that hit you, but then the next question will be “How do I get out?!?”

I’ve often felt like that.

I was bullied quite a lot during my school years, and it left an indelible mark on me, so much that I don’t think I have lived life as full as I could have.

Breaking out of that cage has been more freeing than anything I have experienced before. But now, even though I have done so, the world can still look quite daunting.

If you feel the same, and if, like me, you’re starting out again at any stage in life, you might find it hard to see a way out.

You carry a burden of what you think are mistakes and failures, and believe that life is going to be really hard to sort out from here.

But that’s not true.

One of the great works of literature is John Bunyan’s allegorical masterpiece, “Pilgrim’s Progress.” After deciding to change his life, the protagonist Christian, burdened by the weight of the choices he has made in life, sets out to escape the City of Destruction to travel to the Celestial City.

Two town members try to get him to change his mind, Obstinate and Pliable.

Christian chooses to continue on, with only Pliable joining him.

It’s unsurprising that the first challenge they meet is the Slough of Despond (aka the Swamp of Despair). Christian begins to sink under the weight of his burden, and while Pliable manages to get out, he abandons Christian to his fate. Struggling to free himself, Christian is finally pulled from the swamp by Help, who had heard his cries.

We often feel exactly the same way. We start moving in a direction we want to travel, but can quickly find ourselves falling into despair that the choices we had made previously will stop us from achieving happiness, and we’ll fall before finding the what we want and need in our life.

So, how do we get rid of this?

I’m glad you asked.

Next week, Mike shares two steps that were the integral factors in allowing him to change his life. If you missed the show, click here to watch.

Got a question for Mike? Send it to us via inbox on The Swirl World’s Facebook page or by email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Follow Mike on Twitter @500and50 and read his blog at 500and50.com, or message him on his 500and50 Facebook page.

How To Change Your Life – And End Up On a National Television Show!

May 20, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 3 Comments

Good grief! We’ve been on pins and needles – sitting on this news for about a month now and biting our nails in anticipation of sharing it:

Guess what???

Our man Mike In Australia (Michael Miocevich) was on a national television show – talking about SWIRLING!!!

*Jumping up and down*

We were certainly excited that Mike – OUR Mike – received this national coverage and attention.

Seems the producer planned to do a show on Swirling In Australia (later entitled “Dating Race”). She conducted some online searches to find men in Australia who preferred Black women.

Well, we’ve been doing “Monday’s With Mike” for some months now, so guess who she found???

Yeppers!

Out of ALL the men in Australia, she found OUR Mike.

OUR. Mike!

Woot Woot!

One of the things we strive to do in The Swirl World is build relationships. We practice good blogging netiquette and we believe in crediting our sources, both here and on our Facebook page.

We don’t bash –preferring instead to uplift and support.

Particularly special to us is the fact that in some small way, we are making a difference and changing lives – one person at a time.

But enough of the self-congratulations. We’ll let Mike tell you about his experience.

This excerpt is Part 1 – we have more to come!

Mike says:

“So, about a month ago I get a message from Elise Potaka, producer for SBS TV Australia (one of two public national broadcasters, which is bigger than you might think here in Oz), to talk to her about interracial dating, my history of it, ideas and opinions, etc.

Not a problem, I thought; I am more than happy to help anyone who is interested.

Turns out they were looking to do a TV show about it, and got all kinds of information from me about the Swirling community and my life as a Swirler.

Then came the hard question: They wanted to fly me out to the show to be in the audience!

Now this is the part that shocked me. I’ve never been given any kind of opportunity like this before.

To be flown across the country and put up at a hotel and then be on a national TV show?

Unimaginable. So I was nervous. And very hesitant.

You see, for a lot of my life I’ve felt like an outsider – to friends, family, people I meet.

I often don’t feel comfortable around them. I was very much worried about how I might come across for the show.

But then I had to follow the logic of the situation.

I had been invited on because I have been making steps towards a better life. I had taken the chance when I first contacted The Swirl World via Facebook.

I’d done so again when they got me to do a bit of a write-up about myself. Then again when they had me do “Monday’s with Mike,” and again when encouraging me to start my own writing blog.

After that much love and encouragement, I couldn’t let them down.

I couldn’t let myself down.

So I took the chance. And I am so thankful I did! I now feel more comfortable about who I am in my life than I ever have. I stood up for who I am and what I believe – and I felt stronger for it.

I have a lot of big plans I want to make happen, and a lot of changes I want to make in my life before I get to where I want to be, Taking this step has brought a lot of that closer.

So if I have one piece of advice to offer it’s this – If you see an opportunity and you’re hesitant because you worry what others might think or say, don’t be.

Take the leap of faith and go for it, because the rewards in confidence and self-esteem will likely outweigh any physical things you get from it.

Each step you take in the right direction will open new doors and new opportunities. Trust in yourself and step through them. When you look back, you’ll be amazed at the difference it has made!

Cheers,

Mike

To watch the show (and gain an interesting perspective on interracial dating in Australia – plus some delicious accents) – click here.

Mike networked with some of the people on the show and we hope to have some future posts featuring the other guests.

Whew! We can’t wait to see what happens with Mike’s continuing metamorphosis.

Stay tuned for more!

Got a question for Michael Miocevich? Send it to us via inbox on The Swirl World’s Facebook page or by email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Follow Mike on Twitter @500and50 and read his blog at 500and50.com, or message him on his 500and50 Facebook page.

What KKK Can Teach Us About Love

May 5, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 2 Comments

No, we’re not talking about that KKK – we’re talking about Kyler and Katia Kline!

Kylar and Katia hiking on Cheyenne Mountain in Colorado

Despite the naysayers and despite the ugliness and ignorance surrounding a recent highly publicized, highly dysfunctional interracial “relationship” that has dominated the news, interracial relationships – devoid of the cray-cray – are thriving.

Black women are living well and more and more of them are enjoying their lives, thumbing their collective noses at the nonsense and the madness and demonstrating to the world what real love is all about.

These Black women are dating, marrying and building families. Many are married to men we call “warriors” – our military men who are on the front lines protecting our freedoms.

(And many of them are “warriors” themselves!)

This week we take a refreshing break from the dysfunction and the madness and bring you a wonderful couple who, despite the deployments that are the norm of military life, are happy and whole – loving each other and living life to the fullest.

Ladies and Gentlemen, meet Kyler and Katia Kline.

In most instances the wife fills out our interview questionnaire. But in the case of Kyler and Katia, Kyler wanted to be the one to share their very special story – and in so doing proclaim his love of Katia to the world!

Enjoy their beautiful pictures – and enjoy their love!

Where do you live?

We live in Clarksville, Tennessee, in the greatest nation in the world.

How long you have been together?

We have been together for four years, three of which we have been happily married.

What are the names and ages of your children and/or grandchildren?

We currently do not have any children, but have already picked out some names for when the time comes.

How/where did you meet?
We first meet in the 10th grade and became friends and stayed friends throughout the years.

She shared an apartment with a good friend of mine and while home on leave we started talking and spending time together, and with my irresistible charm and good looks we decided to keep talking long distance.

After 6 months we decided to make it serious, and 6 months after that she sacrificed her current life to marry and eventually come live with me in Colorado – something I will forever be grateful for.

What was your defining moment – that moment when you each knew you were in love?

We were at her apartment watching a movie together and we started holding hands. It was at this time I finally knew I was falling in love with her.

Then, when I was deployed to Afghanistan she sang, “You Are My Sunshine” to me. It was at this time I KNEW I loved her.

Our coming home kiss when my unit arrived home from Afghanistan – our first kiss in a year!

How did you families and friends respond to the news of your relationship?

My sisters were worried for their little brother as always and provided me with advice, yet they loved Katia and were happy and supportive of us.

My father was supportive of our relationship, but on hearing news that we wanted to get married expressed strongly that we at the age of 21 were too young to get married. He was extremely upset after hearing that we did get married but later approved of it after hearing words of wisdom from my Step-Mom. He then even offered Katia a room at his house while I was deployed.

My biological mom was of a different side and became slightly prejudiced. She did not expect to have her son dating a beautiful young Black lady; furthermore upon hearing of our engagement she expressed she wanted white grandkids. This was deeply upsetting to us.

But after getting to know Katia she began to love her and they are now close loving friends as mother and daughter in law, and even call each other regularly. My Mom also can’t wait for the cutest mixed babies the world will have ever seen!

Katia and I before we got married. She is holding my niece Elizabeth.

The majority of our friends were very happy and supportive, but some of my male friends had the suspicion that she may be a “Tag Chaser,” which is a person who wants to date a soldier for the benefits or nostalgia of it. Most people don’t realize how poorly soldiers get paid till they marry one. But after meeting her they realized she was a benevolent young lady who loved me for me, and were then supportive.

The Army’s birthday ball at Fort Carson

How did you handle it?

I followed my heart, and could not be happier that I did.

This is my favorite picture of Katia, which I kept on me at all times while deployed in Afghanistan

What do you like most about your mate?

Everything not to sound corny, but I love how kind and loving she is, her smile, how she can sometimes be a handful, that she’s out going and fun, her body. And most of all that she chose to spend the rest of her life loving me.

This photo was our honeymoon night. Unfortunately we couldn’t go on a real vacation because I was only home for two weeks and had to go back to Afghanistan.

What advice would you give to others who are interested in dating/marrying interracially?

I don’t see races, I only see many Americans of different cultures all of which I love. Unfortunately not everyone in America feels this way, so be ready for constant glares and judgment from others in public. This more so happens to my wife when I’m with her we only get glares and looks, most likely because of my size I tend to be intimidating.

She has even been attacked on face book before, being called many names. But we still publicly display how proud we are to be together and to be in love with one another.

Our first baseball game together at the Denver Colorado Rockies stadium. We found that baseball was to boring for us.

Anything else you believe is pertinent or just want to add?

We love your page and what it stands for!

THIS, Ladies and Gentleman, is what love is supposed to be like: Pure, proud and real. Thanks to Kyler for the service he provides to our country and thanks to Katia for being the wind beneath his wings!

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com.