Archives for January 2014

How To Find Love In A Foreign Country

January 29, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 2 Comments

Here in The Swirl World we’re suckers for a good love story and it doesn’t take much to please us. We LOVE the idea of Black Women loving, marrying and living well!

Make no mistake: We want all women to do well. Yet we focus on Black Women in particular because there seems to be no shortage of (c)rap songs, soul-killing “research” articles, slimy YouTube videos, idiotic magazine spreads and ridiculous blog posts bashing Black Women.

Despite the obstacles, more and more Black Women are swimming against the tide and waking up to the fact that when it comes to matters of the heart, you have to be willing to open your mind and expand your options in order to find the love you want and deserve.

With each passing day, more and more women make the decision to embrace love regardless of race or ethnicity.

When that happens, LOOK OUT – love isn’t far behind.

This week, we celebrate Mr. Jamie and Mrs. JuJu Lee who found love – and each other – in Iraq!

Jamie and JuJu took time from their busy schedules to respond to our questionnaire.

Where They Live:

About 25 minutes outside of Atlanta, Georgia

How Long They Have Been Together:

Three and a half years now. We’ve been married 1 year and 3 months.

Any Children?

Yes. We have a 3 month old son and 3 beautiful children from Jamie’s previous marriage.

How They Met:

JuJu was working as a Billeting Technician in Iraq, and Jamie was the HVAC guy who showed up to fix a broken A.C. unit.

Jamie asked, “Where’d you come from?”

He knew JuJu was new because he had seen every face on base, and had never seen her. He came by her office to talk to her every day, making up new excuses to visit each day until the excuses ran out.

Jamie invited JuJu to a BBQ with some of his friends one evening to sample his grilling skills. Soon, he was picking her up and dropping her off to and from work and her living area.

He eventually asked her on a desert “date” which was really a sunset drive out in a part of the base that was unoccupied.

They tell us, “In case you don’t know, the sun and moon look HUGE in Iraq, so it was always beautiful! The rest is history.”

What Was Your Defining Moment When You Knew You Were In Love?

Jamie: “When I left her for the first time to go on R&R. Before I even arrived back in the U.S. I was missing her and wishing I had stayed in Iraq, rather than go on vacation. I knew then.”

JuJu: “I was sitting next to him in his work truck watching him dance to “I Want You” by Kings of Leon. It was on one of our desert “dates” when we just went on a drive out in the middle of nowhere. I knew instantly. I remember thinking ‘… I’m in trouble…’ and ‘He’s got some rhythm for a white boy.’ Lol!

What Do You Like Most About Your Mate?

Jamie: “That she’s sweet and kind… the most loving woman I’ve ever met.”

JuJu: “I love his confidence. He is not easily intimidated, and stands up for his woman no matter the situation. I always feel safer with him than I ever have before.”

What Advice Would You Give To Others?

Jamie: “Stay out of the hood. LOL. J/K. Be yourself, and the right person will love you for you, regardless of color.”

JuJu: “Anyone who thinks there’s something wrong with dating interracially has a much bigger problem than ‘looking for love.’ So don’t let them faze you.”

“Love is beautiful. When two adults decide that they want to spend the rest of their lives together, day in and day out, for better or worse, it’s beautiful. And nothing else matters, not color, not gender, not socioeconomic status… Nothing else matters. Just love. So screw the haters!”

What Was The Response Of Family/Friends To Your Interracial Relationship?

Jamie: “My family and friends were not at all surprised. This ain’t my first rodeo. But they were happy to see that I was finally happy and found a woman who could put up with all my shenanigans.”

JuJu: “My family was happy to see my new glow, and complimented me on the ‘good catch.’ Tall, funny, handsome, and employed. Lol! What could they complain about?”

Anything Else You’d Like To Add?

They tell us, “Everywhere we go, people stare… She stands out in Mississippi, with her exotic appearance, and he stands out in St. Thomas. Not because he is white, but because he has a different swag than most sunscreen-on-the-nose, camera-around-the-neck tourists.”

“We’ve learned to expect, but ignore the attention, and focus only on each other. No matter what, people will always find something to hate or talk negatively about… Just be the other’s best friend, and nothing else will matter.”

So how do you find love even when you’re in a foreign country? Simply follow Jamie and JuJu’s example. They found love – and each other – because they refused to put themselves in little boxes marked “race” or “ethnicity.”

Jamie approached; JuJu responded; they dated, and Jamie sealed the deal with marriage.

That’s how it’s done. Sweet!

Join in the Fray: What steps are you taking to ensure love will find YOU?

All rights reserved. All work is the copyright of the respective owner, otherwise copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, Dallas, TX, USA. Photos used with permission.

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

How To Fall In Love And Get Married – Even After A Bad First Date!

January 24, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 2 Comments

We currently have almost 6900 fans on The Swirl World’s Facebook page. The conversations are lively and fans are generous with their “Likes” of our posts.

Because our fans are so terrific – we have the BEST Facebook fans, bar none – today we are launching a new feature:

Fantastic Fans!

Each Friday we’ll share a mini profile, funny story or experience highlighting one of our fans.

For our inaugural launch, we introduce to you Karla and her husband Don.

Karla and Don are an amazing retired military couple (Navy) who met on active duty. They recount the story of their first date – each from their own point of view!

Our First Date Story:

Karla: My husband and I had been working together for about a month. Our conversations had been wonderful, humorous, educational and witty. Unlike most Naval aviators, he didn’t have the arrogance nor was he pompous. The zipper on his flight jacket had broken so he asked if I could repair it. He knew I could sew and had a sewing machine that could work leather. When I gave it back, he asked if he could repay me by taking me to dinner. I said yes.

Don: I knew how I felt about her when I met her but she kept talking about arrogant Naval aviators. I had to figure out a way to get her out to dinner without making it sound like a date (even though it was!). She agreed to repair my jacket and I, in the meantime, asked around to find out where the best restaurant was located. We were at a Naval base out in the boonies of Dahlgren, Virginia; not exactly a dating paradise. Someone told me about a seafood restaurant in Stafford, VA so I made a reservation there. I knew Karla loved seafood.

Karla: I was impressed with his manners. He opened my car door for me and we set off. I was living in Fredericksburg, at the time so Stafford was about ten minutes down the interstate. We finally found the place and, needless to say, I wasn’t impressed. It was out in the middle of nowhere, dark, and the “parking lot” was a dirt space covered with gravel and one naked light bulb hanging over it. The place was basically a roadhouse; the country-western music was so loud, it went beyond the walls of the place. I turned to Don and said, “If I don’t see any other Black people in here, we’re leaving.” It just looked like the stereotypical hangout for something really bad.

Don: As soon as I pulled into the “parking lot”, I wanted to kick myself; I knew I shouldn’t have listened to the guys at work. It looked like the headquarters for the KKK. I thought because it was near Quantico Marine Corps base, it would be fine but it was a “joint”. I felt like an idiot, taking her there on our first date but didn’t know what else to do. When she gave me fair warning, I felt even worse. I wanted to turn around, right there, but she said we had to chance it. She was trying to cheer me up!

Karla: We walked into the place and, yeah, it looked like a honky-tonk. We were about to turn and leave when the server came out and said, “Hi, y’all! Come on in! Two for dinner?” She was very friendly and welcoming. When we got to the dining room, both of us were relieved to see a diverse group eating and drinking in the place, chatting with each other and looking happy. It wasn’t a seafood place but the food they had was pretty good. Don was a complete gentleman, pulling out my chair, ordering for me off the menu, very solicitous. After dinner, we decided to go and see a movie. I wanted to stay in his company a while longer.

Don: I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw the restaurant wasn’t complete disaster. Like Karla said, the food was good and her company was so amazing, I wanted to be with her as long as possible. When we arrived at the Cinema DeLuxe, the only movie that had just started was “Home Alone’. Strike two. I couldn’t believe my bad luck. How was I supposed to impress her sitting in a kid’s movie? I had been hoping for something romantic. When I asked her if it was okay, she said yes! Woot-woot!

Karla and Don: So, we saw the movie and we laughed until we cried. It was fun. Despite everything, our first date was a blast. We dated for three years and then married. We’ve been married for almost 21 years now and every anniversary, we eat at the restaurant of our dreams (definitely not the “joint”!) and we watch “Home Alone”. We can laugh about it now.

Karla and Don, we’ll take a “bad” first date every time – especially when it leads to a marriage of 20+ years! 😉

Join in the Fray: Have you ever had a “bad” date that turned out to be good?

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Swirling, Persian Style – In Mississippi!

January 22, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 5 Comments

Last week we brought you the lovely Merieta Bayati, the product of a “Persian Swirl.”

Her father Masoud is Persian and her mother Sylvia is Black. Merieta shared with us what life was like growing up as the mixed race daughter of a Persian father and a Black mother – in Jackson, Mississippi.

We first met the Bayati’s in The Swirl World on Facebook after Merieta was kind enough to share a gorgeous family photo. The Bayati’s are beyond beautiful, not only in appearance but especially because they represent a loving and cohesive family unit.

Of course we were beyond excited at the prospect of obtaining the back story on a “Persian Swirl,” so we asked Merieta if her parents would agree to an interview. Thankfully, they said yes and Mr. and Mrs. Bayati were gracious enough to consent to answering our many questions about what Swirling, Persian Style – is like.

(Make sure you read their complete profile – we have a surprise at the end!)

With great joy and pride, The Swirl World presents Mr. Masoud and Mrs. Sylvia Bayati!

Where do you live?

We live on ten beautiful acres where deer roam occasionally; squirrels are in motion constantly throughout the yard and a variety of birds singing to their own tune in Jackson, Mississippi.

How long you have been together?

We are blessed to be together thirty-five years as of September 1, 2013.

What are the names and ages of your children and grandchildren?

We have three daughters and one son: Merieta-30, Myron-27, Milan-25 and Mitra-24.

Two granddaughters include: Mariah-4, Malayah-11 months and two grandsons: Trenton-7 and Damian-5 years old.

How did you meet?

Sylvia says, “Our first encounter was on the first floor of the library at the university that we attended and future encounters were made in the building where Masoud had engineering classes. I was a business major.”

What was your defining moment – that moment when you each knew you were in love?

Sylvia: After three months of a whirlwind summer romance, I prayed and talked to God about him. Mesmerized by him, my heart knew I wanted to spend my golden years with my now husband, Masoud.

Masoud: The thought of her not being with me when she had to go home and being excited to see her every day and evening was my sign of committing to her forever. In later years, engraving the words: My heart belongs only to Sylvia.

How did you families and friends respond to the news of your relationship?

Sylvia: My mother was not pleased about me marrying outside my race in the beginning but, my father would say, “Go ahead and let them marry.” Eventually, my mom grew to love him! There were lots of stares from all races in the beginning years. Remarks such as “A white man marrying a black woman?? We’ll see how long that will last.” The Caucasian judge who performed our wedding stated, “Come and see me if he acts up.”

Masoud: My parents hated the fact that I married a Black woman. It was unacceptable to them, but I married the woman I knew would make me happy forever. Even as years went by, they were still very bitter over our relationship. I loved my parents to death, but I had to do what would make me happy and I never looked back.

What do you like most about your mate?

Sylvia: What I like most about my mate is that he is a “can-do” and a “take-charge” type man. God has blessed his hands and he can fix mostly anything he puts his hands to. I can travel from the east coast to the west coast by car, plane or whatever and feel safe. The car can break down in the desert or snow and he takes charge in fixing it.

Masoud: My wife’s patience and not nagging even when it was warranted due to long working hours. Her writing a relationship book to bring balance in not only our marriage, but other marriages and relationships as well. Her unselfishness and caring and faith to bring positivity in the lives of others are what I like most about my wife. We talk things through and listen to each other; appreciate, validate and respect one another.

What advice would you give to others?

Because finances play a big role in breakups, stay out of debt as much as possible and don’t live above your means. Become great friends. If you can remember that you’re a team and during the difficult times, recollect what drew you to your precious mate in the first place, that certainly helps.

Pray, keep the faith and things will work out for your good. Nothing is more important than family, great friends when you find them, and good health.

My husband still tells our children a funny story about our relationship to this day: “Your mom could not walk straight without running her hands along the fence and she thought she was doing it to be cute, but I thought she was retarded! Somehow I still loved her and eventually we got married!”

Our children fall on floor laughing. These are the small things in our family that become priceless.

Thank you for taking the time to get to know us and our family.

Many Blessings,

Masoud & Sylvia Bayati

Editor’s Note: Sylvia Bayati is also an author! If your relationship has gotten into a rut, maybe Sylvia’s new book, The Sexless Marriage: A Relationship Guide can help you get back on track! It’s available for purchase on Amazon.

—–>Join in the Fray: As a special treat to our readers: Post a comment or question below to enter a random drawing for a free copy of Sylvia’s book!<—–

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

“I’m The Product of a Persian Swirl!”

January 15, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 4 Comments

This week at The Swirl World on Facebook we received an in-box from Merieta Bayati, one of our new fans.

Turns out Merieta is the product of a Persian Swirl!

She says, “My mom is Black and my father is Persian. They met in college in Jackson, MS where I was born and raised. Here’s a photo of my entire family.”

Woot Woot!

I know we keep saying this, but it bears repeating:

Here in The Swirl World, our goal is to highlight Swirl couples and share their STORIES. So much of what we read and see in the media concerning Black Women is negative. We intend to dispel the myths and negate the stereotypes by showcasing Women of Color in loving relationships who are loved, respected and appreciated.

When you come to The Swirl World, you won’t be bombarded with drama and negativity because in our world, we celebrate and lift up “Ordinary People . . . Extraordinary Love.”

We’re going to feature Mr. and Mrs. Bayati in an upcoming post, but today we want to feature their daughter Merieta.

Tell us a little of yourself, background. Besides being quite beautiful and talented, tell us a little about your education, what you are doing now, do you currently have a boyfriend, hubby and is it a swirl situation?

I was born and raised in Jackson, MS, but I currently reside in Hamden, CT. I hold a BS in Business Management and in addition to working in Human Resources at Yale University; I am a Motivational Speaker and Singer.

My days are usually spent planning events; speaking to young girls about self-esteem, business, and helping them realize their full potential.

As a single mother of an 8-year-old son, I do lots of juggling and multi-tasking to keep my life balanced. By choice, I am currently single, but I absolutely do not discriminate when it comes to love. I have no idea if it will be a swirling situation or not when I meet Mr. Right J. My parents have definitely taught me that anyone can fall in love.

What was it like growing up in a Persian/Black American home? Were you the only Swirl family in your community/neighborhood? How was it for you in school? How did your brothers and sisters adjust or did any of you even notice?

Growing up in the Bayati household was definitely interesting. We were that crazy “mixed” family that everyone knew, but also loved to be around. The boys all knew not to come near me because my strict father had them terrified. The Persian culture is very different from the Americans so that was a little tough in my pre-teen and teen years. I didn’t understand what made me so different from the rest.

For the most part, school was fine and people accepted me and my siblings for who we were. But there were those moments when people would ask, “What are you?”, “Is your daddy white?”, “Are y’all Spanish?”, “Why is your hair like that?”, “Is that Black lady your nanny?”

Mind you; we grew up in a very racist state and interracial dating was not common. After years of hearing the same things, it just became a normal part of life. I would often wonder what makes me so special and why did people make such a big deal about what my race was. I only knew that I was “different” because my peers pointed that out.

It wasn’t until my late teens that I finally became confident enough and accepted myself for who God created me as. We all are human beings regardless of race. When it comes to love, I see no borders whatsoever. My mom always taught me to be proud of both cultures and never let people categorize me as just “Black” or just “Persian,” but to know that I am BOTH.

What are your long-term goals and ambitions?

*I plan to release my first book in Spring or early Summer of 2014, “The Godlie Girl’s Guide to Living a Fabulous Fulfilled Life.” There are so many perceptions that because you become Christian and now love God, that your life has to be boring….WRONG! I’m having the time of my life!

*As the founder for Camp Girlie Girl, A Place for Girls and Their Moms ™, I would like to someday offer the camp to others throughout the country…but I’m taking one step at a time for now.

Merieta and participants from Camp Girlie Girl

*I am looking forward to advancing my education by soon pursuing a Master’s in Business Administration and growing my personal brand as a Speaker, Singer and Social Media Consultant. To learn more about me and what I do, you can visit my website at M erietaBayati.com.

Xoxo and so much love!

If you’d like to learn more about Merieta and connect with her, visit her on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Instagram or her blog Single Saved and Searching.

Stay tuned for a full profile on the Bayati Family!

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Ever Really Loved A Black Woman?

January 13, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 1 Comment

Remember the song “Have You Ever Really Loved A Woman?” by Bryan Adams?

Oh, that song was so deep – the lyrics accurately detailed what it takes to really LOVE a woman.

If you have never heard the song, you may want to give it a listen.

If you have heard the song and love it as much as I do, let’s take a little break and bask in its splendor:

http://youtu.be/hq2KgzKETBw

Whelp, it’s time for another edition of Mondays With Mike, and this one is particularly special.

One of the things we enjoy about Mike is his unabashed admiration for Black Women.

When we began corresponding with him on the Facebook page, he told us,

“I am a white guy from Western Australia, and I have always been attracted to black girls/women. At my first school social I danced with a girl from South Africa, and I never forgot it, or her. I have met and dated a lot of girls, but I never fall as hard as I do for Black women.”

(Smart man, that Mike!)

We recently learned that every Sunday, Mike faithfully – and avidly – participates in a Twitter chat that uses the hash tag #BlackGirlSunday.

During that chat, Black Women and the men who love them share Instagram photos, blog links, YouTube videos, shout outs and everything else in between – and all to the admiration, respect and love of Black Women.

Not only does Mike participate in this worldwide conversation, he also writes poetry to the women on the chat!

That’s right – poetry.

Beautiful, inspired, delightful poetry – all within Twitter’s 140-character limit!

Mike told us that one of his favorite muses is @MissLJay20.

She graciously agreed to let us share a few of her photos.

Now, she and Mike aren’t dating or anything like that; he simply appreciates the beauty she represents as a Black Woman.

(And she appreciates the poetry!)

Here are a couple of examples:

Fierce mane & flashing eyes, wicked clothes & savage guise, fiery heat, frenzied fire, burning dark desire

Winsome wary watching eyes, speckled as starry skies, so radiant and clear, to make so bright seem so near

And this one, of which he says,

Poem Before Sleep

If I were to be a thing, named as any other I should be a cup, to hold as much I could before running over

Here are a few other poems written for Ladies participating in #BlackGirlSunday:

Hair cascades before the light,

A smile edifies a joyous heart,

But beautiful eyes hold the measure of the soul

—

Picture playful for us to see

Sets you with cherubic smile

But eyes light so wickedly

—

Heartstruck in one motion

Senses reeling from the blow

Blessed by naiad vision

Thy heart holds more to know

—

Has anyone ever penned a poem for you?

As a special treat to our Facebook fans and blog subscribers, Mike will write a poem just for you!

To receive a poem, follow Mike on Twitter @500and50 and send him a Tweet saying you read this post. You can also post a message right here on the blog, and he’ll reply with a poem. Woot Woot!

Keep Swirling.

Join in the Fray: What does it take for someone to really love YOU?

Follow Mike on Twitter @500and50, read his blog at 500and50.com, or message him on his 500and50 Facebook page.

Got questions for Mike? Send them to us via inbox on Facebook or email them to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

THIS Is What Happens When A Man Loves A Woman

January 8, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 2 Comments

What happens when a man loves a woman?

I believe we’ve found a good example in our first couple of 2014.

Meet Stephen and Raquel Davidson. We’re delighted to present their profile for a couple of reasons.

First, we’re delighted because it’s an honor and privilege to spotlight a couple in the armed forces. Stephen and Raquel are both in the Army. Woot Woot!

We’re also especially delighted to feature this couple because their profile was filled out by Stephen.

Don’t you just LOVE it when a man loves his woman and wants to share his story??

Stephen says:

“We are currently long distance because I am deployed to Afghanistan and she lives in MN. We have been together for 7 months but have known each other for almost 3 years and never dated because of the distance and the nature of our jobs in both being in the Army. We don’t have any kids, but they are in the future.

First time we met was in 2011 during a Military training class. I came up to her and said: “Hi” and asked for her number, not thinking much of it as well as her. I had always liked her and always talked to her every chance I got whether I was thousands of miles away overseas or a few states away.

Finally this summer we decided to give it a try and it has been the best thing, and I kick myself in the head for waiting such a long time.

What I like most about her is her brown eyes, her curly long hair, how she understands the lifestyle and how she brings me down to earth when I am way up there in space. Also her butt. LOL!”

Stephen continues:

“My advice to others; communication is key, Don’t do long distance unless both of you are in the same path working towards one goal.

You can love whoever you want; never let anyone tell you different and if they do, whether they are friends or family, even if it hurts, stay away from them. Your happiness is first.”

Raquel’s advice?

“My advice is that you should love whomever, whenever! At first I was iffy because dating a white man can be intimidating especially with the other person’s family and they don’t understand the struggle (combing curly hair, tanning easily, etc.) so finding someone understanding of those things as well as the family is heaven! Happiness is what matters; no one should dictate who you love!”

Stephen and Raquel, we couldn’t agree with you more!

A special thanks to Stephen, Raquel and all our men and women who serve around the world. Let’s send lots of love and prayers Stephen’s way as he serves during his deployment in Afghanistan.

Join in the Fray: How do you know when a man loves a woman?

Want to be profiled here? Inbox us on Facebook or send an email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Opportunities For Interracial Dating In Australia!

January 6, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway Leave a Comment

It’s 2014, and we’re back with more Mondays With Mike!

We’ve had some questions for Mike come in over the holiday. He’s back, refreshed and ready to tackle the mailbag.

Some ladies are willing to step out of their comfort zone and they’re not opposed to dating internationally.

A reader asks:

What’s the atmosphere like for interracial dating in your city?

Mike’s reply:

We’re very casual about relationships over here. We have a history of immigration from all over the world (my Father’s side is Croatian, and my Mother’s is Scots/Irish), so diversity is a given in all of our cities.

I actually think for all the bluster of the racist elements that seem to get a lot more airtime than they should, a lot of white men like to date women of different ethnicities. We’re all trapped down here on the world’s largest island, no matter where you drive you’re always going to be in Australia, so we love to travel and have new experiences. Lots of white guys I know date Asian women (which is no new thing), but it’s not Asian women exclusively. We love differences and are mostly open-minded.

To be honest I think most of the time you’re free to date who you like. If someone doesn’t like it, that’s their problem, and I am happy to go and tell those people to ‘get stuffed’ and go on my way.

If there was a divide I would have to say it’s likely between the native aboriginal people and white people. That’s more of a divide than dating someone who has emigrated here, due to our history of white settlement of Australia and the shameful way aboriginals have been treated, and continue to do so. It was more confrontational for people to find out I was dating a mixed ethnicity aboriginal girl from Perth than it was when I went out with a girl from Nigeria.

This is how I have known things here in Perth.

Cheers!

Mike

Next week: Mike shares his poetry. Learn how you can get him to write a poem just for you!

Join in the Fray: Are you willing to travel for love? Why or why not?

Follow Mike on Twitter @500and50 and read his blog at 500and50.com, or message him on his 500and50 Facebook page.

Got questions for Mike? Send them to us via inbox on Facebook or email them to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

How To Find Love In A Foreign Country

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How To Fall In Love And Get Married – Even After A Bad First Date!

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Swirling, Persian Style – In Mississippi!

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“I’m The Product of a Persian Swirl!”

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Ever Really Loved A Black Woman?

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THIS Is What Happens When A Man Loves A Woman

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Opportunities For Interracial Dating In Australia!

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Archives for January 2014

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