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The Swirl World

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Hitch Kiss

February 26, 2011 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 9 Comments

My friend Zee (the one who asked about baby knuckles) recently changed her dating status to “in a relationship,” and both of us are pretty sure he just may be the one. I won’t go into to all the reasons why both of us (including her BFF) think this guy is a keeper. Suffice it to say that he’s a perfect gentleman and has shown such consistency in all the major areas that Zee is pretty sure he’s the genuine article.

What she found particularly endearing very early on is the fact that he never tried to “force” a kiss on her. Not that she’s averse to a first or second-date kiss, mind you, but she LOVED the fact that Mr. Gentleman wasn’t pushy.

“Did you and SM kiss on the first date?” Zee asked.

Her question gave me pause – and made me blush.

“Ahh . . . well . . . .no, not the first date . . . ” I stumbled.

“All right, spill it!” she said triumphantly.

“Well, what had happened was . . . .”

Sidebar: [Whenever anyone says, “What had happened was . . .” then just know you’re in for a doozy].

I was living in Dallas at the time. SM had surprised me with a Friday night cooking class at Central Market. The class was for Louisiana cuisine (I know; thoughtful, right?) and attendees ate the meal they cooked. Afterward he escorted me to a co-worker’s 70’s birthday party waaaaay across town. We’d had a wonderful evening with a lot of conversation and laughs, and we felt comfortably at ease with each other. He’d been divorced for five years and hadn’t dated much; I’d been widowed for even longer than that and hadn’t dated much either.

He saw me to my door at the end of the date. Inside, my Shih Tzu Nibbles was going berserk, barking up a storm and pretty much embarrassing me. I saw my roommate peeping thorough a crack in the curtain with a grin so wide I could see all 32. And me? I stood there and tried to remember the scene from the movie Hitch, where Hitch tries to school his hapless client on the art of kissing after a date.

I closed my eyes. Was I supposed to lean in to him??? Was he supposed to lean in to me??? If he leaned first, was I supposed to follow – or was I supposed to meet him halfway? Was he supposed to lean first??? Wasn’t he supposed to follow my lead???? Or was I supposed to follow his lead???? Doesn’t the girl set the pace for a gentleman??? Was I supposed to pucker first, or was he??? It was our first date – was I even supposed to be puckering???? Nibbles, SHUT UP!!! I can’t think!!!! What did Hitch say the woman was supposed to do???

I finally decided to pucker and lean in first . . . and  . . . felt nothing but air. When I opened my eyes, SM had already bounded down the steps and was on the sidewalk – almost to his car. He looked stricken.

“G’nite . . . “he waved shyly. “I’ll stand here till you go in the house. And, uh, I’ll call you.”

I was floored. And mortified beyond belief.

“Good night!” I choked.

And dropped my keys. Picked them up – then dropped my purse.

Needless to say, I couldn’t get into the house fast enough. I stood there, waiting and hoping that the floor swallowed me up or I died from shame – I didn’t care which one came first.

I stood numbly as Nibbles jumped up and down on my skirt and registered on some level that he was ripping my brand new hose . . . but I was too embarrassed to care.

My roommate was on the floor, howling with laughter.

Zee was, too.

“You were literally standing there thinking about that movie Hitch???!!! Are you kidding me???”

Thankfully, SM did call me the next day, and he even showed up (we had already planned in advance to go out on both Friday and Saturday night).

We had a wonderful dinner and marveled at how much we liked each other.

“Man, I was wondering if you really liked me – the way our date ended last night was very weird” he said.

(The best defense is a good offense, right?)

“I know!” I exclaimed. “What in the world was wrong with you????”

He said I acted weird – and of course I said it was him. I had to tell him about Hitch, and I think that was the hardest I’d seen him laugh since we’d met. We came away with a great story to tell our grandkids-and my friend Zee appreciates her new beau even more.

And thankfully, we had our last first kiss.

Join in the fray:

Do you have an embarrassing date story? Leave a comment and tell me about it!

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Art of Kissing, Black, Dallas, dating, French kiss, Hitch (film), Home, interracial, Kiss, Kissing, Louisiana, relationship, white

A Whole Lotta Lip

February 11, 2011 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 4 Comments

zee2bluphi: Girl, I have a question

ASwirlGirl: Sure!

zee2bluphi: *and I’m almost dying laughing inside*

ASwirlGirl: ?

zee2bluphi: being that SM is white, I would think his lips are thinner than that of a Black man. Is it like *Bruce says???? Is it like kissing baby knuckles????

ASwirlGirl: F D L O L !

ASwirlGirl: ;-0

ASwirlGirl: Bruce is STEWPID

zee2bluphi: I’m freak’n cracking up over here, but now I want to know

zee2bluphi: ;-0

ASwirlGirl: no, it’s not that bad

ASwirlGirl: it’s different, true

ASwirlGirl: but not like “kissing baby knuckles” smh

zee2bluphi: LMBO

zee2bluphi: OH GOSH

ASwirlGirl: actually, my husband’s lips were like SM’s, pretty much

Sidebar: [my husband is deceased]

ASwirlGirl: I mean, a couple of Black guys I’ve dated had “thin” lips

ASwirlGirl: Trynna think if I’ve dated someone who had big, huge, puffy lips . . . . .

ASwirlGirl: Kevin and Martin [my brothers] don’t have thick lips . . . Kevin sure doesn’t

ASwirlGirl: hmmm . . . I’m thinking this thru . . . .

ASwirlGirl: lol

ASwirlGirl: hmmmmm . . . . . .

zee2bluphi: I see that 4 Kev

zee2bluphi: lol

zee2bluphi: baby knuckles. lmbo!

ASwirlGirl: that is HILARIOUS

zee2bluphi: i kissed one thin lipped man ever and i don’t remember what it was like

zee2bluphi: i mean, they don’t have lips my size either

ASwirlGirl: yeah . . . I think mine are medium

ASwirlGirl: lol

ASwirlGirl: of course SM loves them!

ASwirlGirl: CHEEZIN

zee2bluphi: of course he does. LOL!

ASwirlGirl: lol

zee2bluphi: but i think what’s important is that they kiss well and don’t leave me with a spit covered face

ASwirlGirl: RIGHT

zee2bluphi: smh

zee2bluphi: Bruce has jacked it up for me!

ASwirlGirl: FDLOL!

ASwirlGirl: Girl, for me too! I hope I don’t laugh next time SM kisses me . . . I’ll be trying to see if I feel baby knuckles!

zee2bluphi: LMBO!

zee2bluphi: aiight… gotta go. l8r

ASwirlGirl: toodles!

Baby knuckles??? Really??? Needless to say, those of us who swirl often get questions leading to “the things you people do” kind of conversations. Not to perpetuate stereotypes, but Black people have been known for their lips – and White people are known for not having them (can anybody say, “Collagen implants?” You don’t hear about Black people doing that, do you??? I’m just saying).

Physical attributes (or lack thereof) aside, I revel in the smorgasbord that is humanity. Regardless of our relationship – be it coworker, family member, friend – individually we each are “brave new worlds” to explore. Imagine how wonderful and engrossing life would be if instead of looking at each other askance, allowing ourselves to be distanced by prejudices, presuppositions, and stereotypes, we view each other and think, “What a wonderful world!”

Baby knuckles, indeed. Whether the lips are large or small, thick or thin, Black, White, Yellow, or Brown, I think every woman would agree:

When you give me some lip, just kiss me real good and don’t leave spit all over my face!

*Names changed to protect the guilty


Join in the fray:

What “presuppositions” do you hold concerning other races? Leave a comment and tell me about them!

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: Black, interracial, Kiss, Kissing, lip, lips, Relationships, white

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I’m Michelle Matthews-Calloway, and I’m A Swirl Girl! Greetings to you from The Swirl World. We encourage Black women to expand their relationship options by dating and marrying interracially. Our overarching mission is to see Black Women live their best life. Come Swirl with us in The Swirl World™, where we celebrate Black women and the diverse men who love us!™

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