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How To Meet Your Prince/Princess Without Kissing A Lot Of Frogs

March 19, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway Leave a Comment

We’ve all heard the saying: “You have to kiss a lot of frogs in order to find your Prince/Princess.”

While that saying may hold true for some and may even be the story of your life to this point, we in The Swirl World want you to take heart and ponder these questions:

What if finding true love didn’t have to be so hard?? What if there really ARE some good men and women out there who would make wonderful mate – and how in the world can I meet him/her?

Our Facebook page is On Fire with lots of great single men and women who have heard the same tired proverb, and are asking themselves the very same questions.

They’re attractive, smart, well-adjusted and possess many good character traits.

They’re not loony and they’re not cray-cray.

Stalking? They’re not about that life.

They’re also not lazy, trifling, good-for-nothing or looking for a free ride.

Their intent is to “do no harm” and give 100% to a relationship.

They want to do someone good, and not evil, all the days of his/her life.

They want to be in a relationship for the long haul.

If you’re interested in a booty call, cat-fishing or a fly-by-night relationship, YOU’VE GOT THE WRONG ONE, BABY.

They simply want a chance to love – and be loved.

If this sounds like you, then The Swirl World is where you need to be.

Starting tomorrow, we’re going to present some Swirling “Princes and Princesses” who may just be the person who qualifies as “Your Last First Kiss.”

***************************DISCLAIMER*****************************

If we profile someone you take a fancy to and you connect with them, will you still have to vet him/her??

OF. COURSE. YOU. WILL!

(And just in case you didn’t know it, OF. COURSE. YOU. WILL!)

This is Adrienne and Me – giving you major side eye.

Yes, YOU will still have to get to know a person, Yes, YOU will still have to vet, vet, vet – and VET AGAIN.

Presenting people is on us – VETTING IS ON YOU.

This bears repeating:

Yes, YOU will still have to get to know a person, Yes, YOU will still have to vet, vet, vet – and VET AGAIN.

Presenting people is on us – VETTING IS ON YOU.

And just in case you need a crash course on vetting, we very happily refer you to the Queen of Vetting herself, Mrs. Eugenia Berg, a.k.a. “Married Girl In A Weird World.”

(We’re happy to report that Mrs. Berg and her loving hubby are now expecting TWINS! Woot Woot!)

Mrs. Berg was kind enough to supply free coaching information on vetting on her blog.

Whether you believe you know how to properly vet or not, If you have any brains at all, you will thank the good Lord for Eugenia’s free advice and give a listen here, here and here.

So now, on the subject of vetting: Have we made ourselves perfectly clear?

Ok; by the look on your face, we have made ourselves PERFECTLY clear.

If we have, stay tuned. Our first “Swirling Single” will be presented tomorrow!

Till then, Swirl On.

Join in the Fray: Are you a Prince/Princess – or a Frog?

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com.

What Making The First Move Can Teach Us About Finding Love

March 5, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 6 Comments

Ladies, if you were at a party and saw a cute guy you found interesting, what would you do?

I’m directing my questions to ladies because it’s not surprising for men to make the first move – in fact, it’s usually expected.

But what about a woman? Is there ever a time when a woman should make the first move?

Different schools of thought and theories exist on whether a woman should make any moves. Some believe a nice smile, lingering glance or simply saying hello should be enough for a woman to indicate interest.

Others advocate women doing absolutely nothing other than letting a man make all the moves – if he’s interested, they reason, then he’ll make a move in the woman’s direction.

Still others believe nothing is wrong with a woman being open about her interest – and going after what she wants.

Meet Lela and Mark.

When Lela saw Mark, she – well, read their story and find out!

Where do you live?

We live in Loganville, GA

How long have you been together?

We’ll be together two years come May.

Do you have any children?

We have a five-month-old named Maleah and one on the way, that’ll be here come this August.

How/where did you meet?

We met at a night lounge. We were not looking for each other but we found each other. I saw him and went to him and asked if he wanted to dance, he said, “Yes of course!” (Lol!)

But we talked and danced all night together. At the end of the night he walked me to my car and we exchanged numbers. He tried to kiss me but I wasn’t having it. Lol!

We started hanging out; I mean every weekend he was coming to my house to pick me up. Rain or whatever he was there. Things progressed as we spent more time with each other. Just finding out how much we had in common was so nice.

Well one day at his house relaxing on the porch, he asked to make our friendship official into a relationship. I couldn’t deny it. He was all that I wanted in a man. Very sweet, funny, smart and truly cared for me.

How did your families respond to your relationship?

Our families were very supportive. My family loved that I found someone who I could spend my time with, enjoy life and possibly grow old together. His family was happy he found someone cool, calm and collected to help keep him grounded.

What do you like most about each other?

Lela: What I like most about him is that he’s such a hardworking man. He truly loves me, and he’s an amazing father.

Mark: What I like most about her is her personality and her sense of humor. She’s beautiful, and we have so much in common.

What advice would you give to others who are interested in dating/marrying interracially?

Our advice is to go for it! You never know what you could be missing out on if you’re not open to different possibilities.

And there you have it! Lela wasn’t too shy or afraid to ask Mark to dance, and the rest is history. Sometimes making the first move can lead to lasting love – and that goes both ways!

Join in the Fray: Who should make the first move – a man or a woman?

All rights reserved. All work is the copyright of the respective owner, otherwise copyright © 2014 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, Dallas, TX, USA. Photos used with permission.

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Date Smarter – Not Harder!

January 16, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 2 Comments

Woman given roses

Yesterday our Admin ~all posted an interesting question over on The Swirl World’s Facebook page.

(By the way, if you haven’t visited or “Liked” our page, you’re missing out on a treat: Lots of lively discussions, informative posts celebrating people of color, and spotlights on the fans. What? You’re not over there yet? What are you waiting for???)

This is the question that ~all posed:

Hi Swirlers,
Would like your insight. Some of you have tried or met through on-line dating sites. Some of you have been successful and some have not, so without naming any names of sites, give some helpful pointers? ~all

A number of people – guys and gals – weighed in on the question by sharing their views and relaying what they had encountered. Some of the accounts were positive; others, not so much. Reading the thread made me think not only of my own dating experiences, but also the practical advice I give to those who decide to try online dating:

Just remember that he (or she) should be very willing to come out from behind the computer and MEET YOU IN PERSON. Ladies, if he lives in another city, let him come to visit YOU FIRST. A man should be willing to make an effort to meet/get to know you – HE should be the pursuer, NOT you. Don’t act/be thirsty and desperate! Meet at a neutral place; no way should you go to someone’s home or they to yours until you are thoroughly comfortable and some guidelines/boundaries have been established (as well as a relationship). He/she should not meet your children until you have an established RELATIONSHIP and you have vetted, vetted, and VETTED SOME MORE. Be observant and listen to your instincts; if something feels “off” or “not quite right,” it probably isn’t.

I know this advice may seem “old-fashioned” to some of you in this modern age, but this is my advice and I’m sticking to it. I’ve seen far too many people (especially women) make foolish mistakes and sometimes suffer HEARTBREAKING consequences when they didn’t. I wish everybody well and want all of us to be successful in relationships and love. Peace and blessings! ~ASwirlGirl

Call me old-fashioned if you like, but I’ve heard far too many horror stories from women who were too accommodating, or failed to use plain common sense. I can’t stress enough how important it is to vet a potential suitor. Bohemian blogger Dee Dee Russell, creator of the Black Women With Other Brothers Facebook page and blog, makes a very strong case for the importance of vetting in her post Black Women With Other Brothers: The Five Basic Swirling Rules I’ve Learned. YouTube vlogger Eugenia Berg, who also blogs at Married Girl in a Weird World, extensively discusses online dating and vetting, part one and part two.

Information abounds for the smart, savvy woman (or man) who wants to successfully navigate online (and offline line) dating. What every woman – and Black women in particular – needs to remember is that no prospect should be exempt from a good, thorough vetting. Regardless of ethnicity, men are men (and women are women), and nobody should get an automatic pass based on something as superficial as race.

Be wary of “Catfish” and what Dee Dee Russell calls “Keyboard Romeos.” I can’t say it enough: Vet, vet, vet and then vet again.

The choice is always yours – you can date smarter, or date harder.

Join in the Fray: What dating smarter or vetting tips can you share?

I’m blogging every day in the month of January in Blogher’s NaBloPoMo Challenge. Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment!

How To Meet Your Prince/Princess Without Kissing A Lot Of Frogs

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What Making The First Move Can Teach Us About Finding Love

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Date Smarter – Not Harder!

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