Swirling Singles Archives - Page 11 of 11

Swirling Single Of The Week: Traci Milam!

March 20, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 1 Comment

So yesterday we discussed the fact that having to “kiss a lot of frogs” seemed to be par for the course in the quest to find true love.

We said we believe that frogs don’t have to get in the way – The Swirl World is home to some pretty amazing people who simply need to meet each other.

We also put up a ton of DISCLAIMERS and gave you some good links to expert advice on vetting from Mrs. Eugenia Berg of “Married Girl In A Weird World.”

Now that we’ve gotten all the housekeeping done and all the disclaimers out-of-the-way, we’re happy to introduce our first Swirling Single Of The Week: Ms. Traci Milam!

Woot Woot!

Traci, tell us about yourself.

I am 35 years old, and I live in Memphis, TN. I currently teach History in my local public school system. I am open-minded; I love studying and learning about different cultures.

I am an honest, genuine woman. If I give you a smile and a compliment I truly mean it. I will appreciate the right guy for who he is. I want my feminine power to compliment his masculine power.

How do you approach relationships?

For me, doing little things are important; leaving notes for him just let him know that he’s in my thoughts. Speaking his “love language,” and willing to learn what makes him feel loved – making sure there is a balance of partnership to the relationship.

I am compassionate and a great listener. I think that this is a major part of maintaining a healthy relationship. I will support my partner, keeping the lines of communication open so that we can have those important conversations. I want to be able to read his moods, understand his concerns, and NOT make fun of his insecurities. Sometimes showing empathy is all that’s needed.

I want to disagree in a respectful manner and remember that differences of opinions don’t have to crush the relationship.

I love to laugh am constantly finding the humor in life. Laughter is at times the best medicine for what ails you.

Tell us about your family.

I am close to my family. We see one another at least once a week. We have a lot of fun together sharing…laughter can often be heard throughout my parent’s house when everyone visits.

I love going out with my two older sisters or just spending time sitting around shooting the breeze. My nieces and nephews are a joy to spend time with. I regularly attend their sports events, spelling bees, etc.

My parents are a true blessing in all of our lives. They are also hilarious. I often, tell my friends that my family should have their own reality show LOL! 😉

What do you like to do for fun?

I love traveling, visiting museums, going to live concerts and shopping. I’m a real FASHIONISTA! 😉

I also love to dance – I was a competitive pom-pom dancer in high school. I danced for my college team and for an NFL team.

What are your tastes in television and music?

One of my favorite TV channels is the History Channel. I’m historian after all! I also love Modern Family and Big Bang Theory.

Musicians that I like: Prince, Lauryn Hill, Beyoncé, Gwen Stefani, Lady GaGa, Maroon 5, Stevie Wonder, Marvin Gaye, Erykah Badu, Kelis, Pink, Outkast and The Roots.

Would you like to have children?

Children: I would like maybe to have one child.

Are you willing to relocate?

If the right person comes along I would, of course, discuss relocation as an option.

So Traci, what are you looking for in a mate?

Someone who is genuine: A man who is honest with his partner and willingly shares how his day went and asks about mine in return. A man who gives a woman a genuine compliment to her face rather than wolf whistling. One who says “Please” and “Thank you,” and means it.

A man who is just kind to others and not just for his own self-interest.

A man who is Good-Hearted: Kind and generous; romantic and family oriented.

Getting to know her parents and actually taking the time to earn their trust and approval. (Some people think that asking them for permission before proposing is outdated, but I still believe in it.)

Someone who won’t mind sending a little message to make sure I got home alright, and actually mean it, or bring flowers, just because – no need to wait for a special occasion.

Possesses emotional Intelligence and is very supportive – He leaves the lines of communication open so that we can have meaningful conversations. He tries to understand my concerns, and does NOT make fun of my insecurities.

A man who argues in a respectful manner and remembers that differences of opinions don’t have to crush the relationship.

Intelligent and supportive: Knowledgeable of general world events and able to converse in a socially acceptable manner. College educated would be great but I also absolutely love a man in uniform – military man, police officer, firefighter, etc. 😉

And, of course, I am willing to support his dreams as long as the risk is viable. We will be a team, partners – us against the world! 😉

So there you have it! If Traci seems like a lady you’d love to meet, send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com.

How To Meet Your Prince/Princess Without Kissing A Lot Of Frogs

March 19, 2014 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway Leave a Comment

We’ve all heard the saying: “You have to kiss a lot of frogs in order to find your Prince/Princess.”

While that saying may hold true for some and may even be the story of your life to this point, we in The Swirl World want you to take heart and ponder these questions:

What if finding true love didn’t have to be so hard?? What if there really ARE some good men and women out there who would make wonderful mate – and how in the world can I meet him/her?

Our Facebook page is On Fire with lots of great single men and women who have heard the same tired proverb, and are asking themselves the very same questions.

They’re attractive, smart, well-adjusted and possess many good character traits.

They’re not loony and they’re not cray-cray.

Stalking? They’re not about that life.

They’re also not lazy, trifling, good-for-nothing or looking for a free ride.

Their intent is to “do no harm” and give 100% to a relationship.

They want to do someone good, and not evil, all the days of his/her life.

They want to be in a relationship for the long haul.

If you’re interested in a booty call, cat-fishing or a fly-by-night relationship, YOU’VE GOT THE WRONG ONE, BABY.

They simply want a chance to love – and be loved.

If this sounds like you, then The Swirl World is where you need to be.

Starting tomorrow, we’re going to present some Swirling “Princes and Princesses” who may just be the person who qualifies as “Your Last First Kiss.”

***************************DISCLAIMER*****************************

If we profile someone you take a fancy to and you connect with them, will you still have to vet him/her??

OF. COURSE. YOU. WILL!

(And just in case you didn’t know it, OF. COURSE. YOU. WILL!)

This is Adrienne and Me – giving you major side eye.

Yes, YOU will still have to get to know a person, Yes, YOU will still have to vet, vet, vet – and VET AGAIN.

Presenting people is on us – VETTING IS ON YOU.

This bears repeating:

Yes, YOU will still have to get to know a person, Yes, YOU will still have to vet, vet, vet – and VET AGAIN.

Presenting people is on us – VETTING IS ON YOU.

And just in case you need a crash course on vetting, we very happily refer you to the Queen of Vetting herself, Mrs. Eugenia Berg, a.k.a. “Married Girl In A Weird World.”

(We’re happy to report that Mrs. Berg and her loving hubby are now expecting TWINS! Woot Woot!)

Mrs. Berg was kind enough to supply free coaching information on vetting on her blog.

Whether you believe you know how to properly vet or not, If you have any brains at all, you will thank the good Lord for Eugenia’s free advice and give a listen here, here and here.

So now, on the subject of vetting: Have we made ourselves perfectly clear?

Ok; by the look on your face, we have made ourselves PERFECTLY clear.

If we have, stay tuned. Our first “Swirling Single” will be presented tomorrow!

Till then, Swirl On.

Join in the Fray: Are you a Prince/Princess – or a Frog?

Want to be profiled here on the blog and on our Facebook page? Contact us via inbox on Facebook or send an email to Profiles@TheSwirlWorld.com.

Swirling With Latin Men: What to Expect

May 3, 2013 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 26 Comments

I’ve received some queries in the inbox concerning Swirling with Latin men.

Shucks, I wanna know more about that myself!

Guest blogger Miranda Santiago gives us the inside scoop:

Oh yes. You’ve seen them on TV or in the movies or on stage. Latinos!

Who can blame you for being love struck? With their perfect complexion, dark hair and irresistible accent no woman in her right mind would want to pass on such a man. Besides, you’ve heard they are very family oriented and hold to strong traditional values.

Well, before you race off to corral one of your own, let this Latina fill you in on what to expect.

Latinos come from a culture that places a lot of emphasis on the man taking the lead in a relationship where the woman is dependent on him. This is not always the case but it is the culturally handed down norm. Let me fill you in on some of the specifics.

What frightens them

Latinos are often intimidated by successful women. The men feel they must be the breadwinner. It is a cultural expectation, a generations old custom instilled in boys from a young age. All of their traditional role models are of men that make the money and of women that stay home and cook the dinner.

If you are a successful woman who has the earning power to take care of yourself, watch out. Your Latino beau may at first seem indifferent to your earning power, but later in the relationship it may become an issue. However, thankfully in this country that stereotype is being broken down one successful woman at a time.

This is not to say that all Latin men are machistas. That is, not all of them buy into the custom of being tough and in control. However, masculinity is important to them. But thankfully, as time passes men are becoming less bound to those old expectations.

What they like

Before you take the initiative and make the first move – Stop. That Latin eye candy you’re fixating on will prefer being the one to make the first move. However, don’t let that stop you from dropping those flirtatious signals.

Very likely, your Latino man grew up with women who were very supportive of him, sometimes passionately so. He will expect the same from you. When he talks to you about something in his life, he expects your support and not necessarily your advice.

He will like someone who reminds him of his mother. Being family oriented on your part is a big plus. If you want this relationship to move to the next level, you should want children, because he will.

Family matters

That Latino man you have your eye on was likely raised in a large extended family where he has plenty of female relatives which he will compare you too. Family is very important, so if you are dating a Latino man expect to be around his family as well. His relationship with his mother is very close. It would be to your advantage to get on her good side. But also remember that he will very likely compare you to his mother.

Latinas are very supportive of their sons and brothers; so cultivating a close relationship with the women in the family is important. You can expect to spend a lot of family time together.

There you go. This is what you can expect from dating a Latino. Enjoy!

Miranda Santiago has a degree in Psychology from Boston College and is now a freelance writer who covers dating topics, specifically Latin dating. Apart from writing, Miranda enjoys windsurfing, playing the piano and cheering on her favorite baseball teams.

Join in the Fray: Latin men: Hot, or not?

Do You Believe in Magic?

March 18, 2011 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 2 Comments

If you believe in magic, come along with me
We’ll dance until morning ’til there’s just you and me
And maybe, if the music is right
I’ll meet you tomorrow, sort of late at night
And we’ll go dancing, baby, then you’ll see
How the magic’s in the music and the music’s in me . . . .

~John Sebastian of The Lovin’ Spoonful

This past weekend I had the occasion to participate in a girl’s weekend with a couple of good friends (I’ll call them *Shay and *Rochelle). We commiserated on life, love, and relationships all within the context of growing older and wiser.

Our discussion of relationships was a big part of the conversation.

“Do you believe in soul mates?” Rochelle asked.

She and Shay had already discussed the concept but she wanted my take on the matter.

“Define ‘soul mate’” I said cautiously. “I just want to be sure we’re on the same page.”

Rochelle went on to ask, “Do you believe that in this entire world, with all the people in it, that there is one person who is totally and completely right for you? Not that you and he would have never not have any problems if you got together, because some things are just a part of life – but do you believe that out of all the people in the world, you’re supposed to be with him and he’s supposed to be with you – and that’s what makes him your soul mate?”

This definition was pretty much what I’d expected. Of course I’ve had this conversation dozens of times over the course of my life, and I marveled at the difference in what I believed when I was a mere girl in high school and college, and what I believed now as a widow with some major life drama and trauma under her belt.

“I have to say , no, I don’t believe there’s only one person for you in the whole wide world, and that if you don’t marry him or her then you haven’t married your soul mate “ I said. “I believe, of course, that some people make better marriage partners than others. Even so, given enough time, mutual willingness, and desire, I believe that two people can become soul mates.

I thought some more. “Maybe I’m too pragmatic but I see relationship building as more practical than magical.”

Rochelle gave me great food for thought. She stated that her concept of soul mates is predicated on a principle of “good, better, best.” In other words, a certain man would be good for you; another one would be better, and yet another would be best – and that the best was more than likely your soul mate.

Shay, Rochelle and I kicked around a variety of scenarios, swapped stories regarding people we knew who appeared to be soul mates, and also discussed potential what ifs. When the conversation was all said and done we pretty much agreed that love rests on choices – whether you feel a sense of “magic” or not.

The choice begins with whom you elect to date, and why. I dare say a woman who is unhappy with her present state of circumstances and driven by desperation will make different relationship choices than one who is content with her life and prepared to wait until she finds what she deems suitable companionship.

“Suitable companionship” is subjective on a variety of levels; what is scorned by some is embraced by others. Some believe those who enter the realm of interracial dating fall into the “desperate” category while others classify swirlers as simply being people who are a bit more open-minded in the relationship department.

Whether desperate or content; open or closed-minded; idealistic or pessimistic, I believe that on some level we all believe in the magic of love. By “magic of love” I mean the belief that we will meet and find someone we will love and who will love us back; someone we will be true to and who will be true to us.

We keep hope alive that we will find the person we are willing to be there for in good times and bad, healthy or otherwise; and who will be there for us in the same way. Regardless of the exterior package he or she is wrapped in, that person will be someone with whom we can build a lasting relationship, and with whom we can live our best life.

Yes, I believe in magic.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o89iKsKw19M

*Names changed to protect the guilty

Join in the fray:

Do you believe in magic?