Last Monday we enjoyed a veritable feast for the eyes with the “Men From Down Under” – Australian men who make our hearts skip a beat and send us ladies on mental trips to Fantasy Island.
We introduced you to our own Michael Miocevich (pronounced My-oh-see-vitch). Mike lives in Western Australia and cheerfully agreed to serve as our guide to Swirling in Australia.
(He also agreed to give us a first-hand view into the male mind. Think about it: Who better than a man to tell us how a man thinks??)
In addition to being an all-around good sport Mike is a writer and blogger. If you love delightful prose and poetry (yes, he writes poetry!) check out his blog here.
We put the call out for questions and started receiving immediate responses.
This week’s questions are from Chongo, one of our fans in The Swirl World on Facebook.
NOTE: Chongo’s questions (in red) and Mike’s responses (in blue) are unedited.
Hi TSW!
Happy Thanksgiving.
My name’s Chongo (Chit) and I’ve been reading your blog and FB page for months (about a year). I’ve been interested in interracial dating & relationships since primary school when my first crush was a cute soft-spoken white boy called Michael. I like men of all races and nationalities and your page is a great space for eye candy, articles and normalising love across colour lines. So thank you for this amazing space – it is serious, fun and everything in between and outside.
I read about your ‘Mondays with Mike’ from the blog and I’m sending in my questions.
Hello Mike, thanks for enabling this form of interaction. Here are my questions:
1. Do your family and friends know about your attraction to black women? If affirmative, what was their reaction? Does their reaction (positive or negative) matter to you?
Hi Chongo, great to make your acquaintance!
Here are the answers to your questions; as good as I can make them.
1 – A few of my friends know, as I have told them, but my family I haven’t. This is not because I am afraid nor ashamed of liking who I like, it’s just that my parents and siblings made things incredibly awkward for me when I was growing up. Any hint of liking a girl meant that they couldn’t help but blurt it out to her while I was standing there, making me go bright red and both of us feel awkward. Another reason is that my siblings have had complicated relationships with the people they went out with (and married) over the years, and a lot of that drama that happened was played out in front of the family. I prefer to keep my relationships close to my heart. In the end it’s myself and the person I am with who matter, not the opinions of anyone else.
These days I think my relatives would likely say “about time!” if I showed up to a family gathering with a girl, and I very much doubt they would care what ethnicity she was. If they had a negative reaction I would be upset, because they wouldn’t be the people I thought they were. However, I don’t think this will be a problem. I’d also let my family know to mind their P’s and Q’s if I were to bring anyone along, regardless of where she was from. I am sure my siblings would give me those kind of knowing looks about the fact I had introduced someone to them, and possibly pull dumb faces and go ‘ooooo-oooh!” when I was near them, but I think they’d get over it I suspect they’ve been waiting a long time to hassle me about such things and are going to take every opportunity to make me uncomfortable about having a girlfriend there as much as possible, but that’s the price the youngest in the family usually has to pay.
2. What’s your greatest curiosity about black women (bearing in mind we are not a monolith) or what is the one thing you are most curious about vis-a-vis black women?
2 – An interesting question, and I hope my answer doesn’t come off as pandering or trite. I wonder why some men from different ethnic groups don’t appreciate black women for the wonderful jewels they are. I can’t fathom it myself. I’ve been talking to Michelle, and she has linked me to the song by the Doors called “Hello”, which Jim Morrison wrote after seeing an incredibly gorgeous black woman, but not having the confidence to talk to her. He says as much in the lines “Do you hope to make her see, you fool? Do you hope to pluck this dusky jewel?” I have lived far too long in that mindset, thinking that black women did not want anything to do with white guys (mostly misinformed by TV, movies and music I have to say), but broke the habit some time ago. I guess perhaps a lot of the guys have the same hang-ups I had, in as much as they think they’ll be rebuffed instantly. A lot of the time guys are shy in approaching anyone, but I do hope in the future men of all groups will take the chance and be accepted in return. I’d love to see more of that.
3. What is your idea of a fun date?
3 – I’d love to spend an day in a place where lots of art and creativity is on display, with all kinds of artists showcasing their talents. Take brunch or lunch at a nice restaurant and discuss what has been seen, and the general small talk about anything which is so fun to have. In the afternoon watch a live band, take in a play or an enjoyable movie, or be content to wander amongst trees and nature in a park. As the sun goes down find a spot for a picnic and toast the last rays of the sun as they disappear over the horizon, and be graced with a wonderful display of colour with the sunset. At night a moonlit walk along the beach holding hands, combined with acting the fool in the low surf as it hits the shore, and a dreamy kiss under the stars. That would be a good day. A very good day.
And there you have it, folks – straight from the mouth of our man Mike in Australia. Special thanks to TSW fan Chonogo for submitting those questions.
Got questions for Mike? Send them to us via inbox on Facebook or email them to ASwirlGirl@TheSwirlWorld.com.
Tune in next Monday for more Mondays With Mike!
You can follow Mike on Twitter @500and50 and read his blog at 500and50.com.
Join in the Fray: What do you think of Mike’s description of a “fun date?”
Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, All rights reserved.
Just wish to say your article is as amazing. The
clearness in your post is simply excellent and i could assume you are an expert on this subject.
Fine with your permission allow me to grab your RSS feed to
keep updated with forthcoming post. Thanks a million and please continue the gratifying
work.
Chongo,
You’re quite welcome! Thanks for submitting the questions and feel free to submit more if you like.
I agree; Mike’s description of a “fun date” sounds well thought out – and definitely fun! I believe it’s admirable when a man takes time and care in his interactions and relationships with women, because women are PEOPLE, too! 🙂 I also appreciate that he’s not hiding behind some macho schtick and instead is not afraid to put his thoughts out there.
Eugenia,
I am really glad that swirling is happening more these days, and is being found by more and more people! To be honest I spent ages thinking that was the case but was relieved to find I’d just been misinformed. It’s good a lot of this is reaching social media and youtube, as it does allow people to find a good answer to their questions, as I have done. I am also glad at seeing black women push back against negative stereotypes and other peoples ignorance on whom they should date. Same goes for white guys, I am glad to see them coming out wholeheartedly and saying they love black women and are definitely down with swirling. I love seeing when couples from different backgrounds get together. I definitely want to see more of it happen, and love when they post videos and blogs about it, it’s great.
Chongo,
Thank you very much for your comment! I think planning things out is great when you’re getting to know someone, as it at least gives you a variation in your date so you can have something to talk about (and you’re right, I don’t like awkward silences either). I’d rather avoid the last minute arrangements as they often don’t work, but it’s also good to be flexible so if something really cool crosses your path you can go with it. Once you’ve got to know someone it’s easier to go more free-form as you know a bit more about their likes and dislikes. You could even use their dislikes to challenge them to do something they had been avoiding to see how they deal with it or if they’re ready to go outside their comfort zone.
Thanks for your compliments, I really appreciate them, and I hope my answers were what you were looking for.
Cheers!
Mike
Thanks Michelle for submitting my questions and thank you to Mike for the thoughtful and thorough answers – they are insightful.
Mike’s description of a fun date is – in one word – romantic (and that’s a good thing!). The date has various aspects to it which provide a well rounded day out for two people; the art viewing is sophisticated, the picnic and fun stroll on the beach are lighthearted and the brunch/lunch plus afternoon activities are elegant while the kiss is charming. Reads like an enjoyable date.
Such a date would show a woman that her partner thought out and planned the activities as opposed to a rushed and last minute arrangement. The various activities provide rich talking points and are great for avoiding those awkward silences when words run out because you haven’t done much on the date.
Mike, I’m so glad you mentioned that you as wm thought bw were not interested in wm due to misinformation. I’m a bw married to wm living in the Pacific Northwest of the U.S. All I’ve ever dated were non-bm but you just dint know how many of them said the exact same thing you said above. My husband even told me that when he started to date bw in his 20s he thought the same thing that bw only wanted bm. I’m glad this misinformation is being corrected. I tell bw all the time wm are interested, but with all the misinformation they just wonder if bw are interested in them. Once they figure that out, they come swarming. Thanks for the insight.
Hi guys,
Thank you so much for having me, it’s a real pleasure! I hope the information I offer is correct and useful to you all. Looking forward to answering more questions here as we go along. Thank you also for linking to my blog, it’s very much appreciated. I haven’t got too many pieces up there yet, but I am working on it. For those wondering about what my intent is for the blog, check the ‘about’ page.
Thanks again and I look forward to talking with all you soon!
Cheers!
Mike