“Oh, it’s just a fetish.”
“He doesn’t really like her for her; he just wants to fulfill a fantasy.”
A White Man’s Attraction to Black Women: Fetish or Preference?
Let a non-Black man express his attraction to or, God forbid, preference for Black women. Someway, somehow this nasty little word pops up:
I’ve heard the word fetish so many times in connection with Back women, I wish I’d been given $5 every times my eyes or ears were assaulted by the term.
If a non-Black man is attracted to or prefers Black women, why does the word “fetish” always pop up?
Reading is Fundamental
In other words, know what in the world you’re talking about before you use certain words. Doing so usually involves knowing what words mean.
That means taking the time to look words up so you can know the true definition of the word.
Fetish – or Wrong Motives?
Can a non-Black man have the wrong motives for wanting to become involved with a Black woman? Can he possibly have a desire to fulfill some “I wanna sleep with a Black woman fantasy?”
Of course he can!
But what he has isn’t a fetish – what he has are wrong motives. And guess what? Wrong motives are something any man can have.
He can also be racist. That’s why it’s important to learn how to vet, and vet properly.
To hear more about how to vet a racist, click here. To learn more about vetting, click here.
In this podcast episode, I define the meaning of the word fetish. I also debunk some of the misconceptions and myths.
Give it a listen, and let me know what you think!
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Copyright © 2017 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™ LLC, The Swirl World Podcast™, Swirl Nation™, All rights reserved.
Good prodcast. Those who throw out that word ‘fetish’ are usually people who disapprove of I/R and are trying to shame Black women out of dating white men. It’s complete BS. What about the men who fetishize Asian women or Russian mail order brides? or Black men who date nothing but white women? Yet, no one is criticizing them! We Black gals have the right to date whomever we want who also wants us in return and I say the heck with what others put out there. If the white guy has bad motives that will come out soon enough, but to try to make it like it’s all about our blackness vs his creepiness? Just another way to try to hold Black women back IMO. Dogs come in all colors and it’s up to us to use discernment when it comes to dating, right?
Jay Fenton says
On the question of whether WM love BW for themselves or as a fetish. . . . . I’m a WM who has always loved and had a preference for BW since I was in grade school. I remember when I was eight years old, I walked home from school, hand in hand, with a pretty black girl I had a crush on. This was the 1950’s mind you and that was VERY unusual. My dad was usually away on business, but this day he wasn’t. He happened to see us and called out to me “young man, I want to talk to you.” When I went in the house, he said “why were you holding hands with that little black girl?” I said “because I like her. He said “little white boys don’t hold hands with little black girl.” Naturally I said “why?’ He struggled to come up with an answer. “They just don’t. God wouldn’t like it.” I wasn’t convinced. Over the years, I became more and more attracted to black girl, especially in high school and college. It caused a lot of problems.
My point in telling all this is so you will understand that many white guys have always liked black girls and women. But until recently we weren’t allowed to show it. Even in high school guys would say “I wish I could ask her out, but my parents would kill me.” Yes, there are some WM who see BW as a fetish, but they would show their true nature fairly early on in dating. Other WM truly love BW because of all of the world’s women, BW are the most feminine———they have curves, beautiful African features and sensuous lips. So if a WM comes up to you and seems interested. Give him the benefit of the double.
I want to find someone fun & interesting a serious relationship
I had a rather explicit dream about a black girl when i was 9. Before i really knew what sex was about. Before i ever saw any black people (aside from a Brazilian football player, the game which is called “soccer” in the US), in fact before i saw any in movies. I lived in Israel till i was 11, so at the time of the dream, there was no black people in Israeli, none in the sense we understand of today, aside from a few Ethiopian Jews. Fetish? I don’t think so.