Rachel Robinson encountered a variety of men during Seasons 1-3 of 50 Days of Dating.
Unfortunately, she encountered a closet racist.
Watch this brief snippet from Season 1 – Episode 36, as Rachel describes the encounter:
Later, Adrienne London Leach examined what happened. In this podcast episode she shares some important vetting tips, particularly if you find yourself dealing with a racist.
Vetting A Racist – Can You Handle It?
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I see no one has posted in a while, I don’t know if this website is dead, but I have a question about a comment in this podcast. You said some white men have ‘ulterior motives’ for dating a black woman. What are these ulterior motives? To clarify, to me the key word is dating. I know there might be some wm who ‘want to bed a black woman’ just to check that off their list, but I consider that a one night stand, to me ‘dating’ is an ongoing thing. So what are the ulterior motives a wm can have in dating (ongoing) a bw?
An ulterior motive would mean that he is seeking some sort of benefit to himself (outside of the relationship itself). Like a financial gain, or a gain in status at work. Maybe it’s because I’m not the type to use people, but I can’t think of anything like that. Because as you as a black woman know, a bwwm relationship pretty much goes against the grain of cultural/societal norms of what’s expected from each of us. A BW is expected to date a BM, and if she dates a WM, risks being a pariah. Me, as a WM, am expected to marry a WW, and since I’m Blonde haired, blue eyes, usually that is expected to be a blonde haired blue eyed woman. To the extend that a WW would be shocked that I would choose a BW over her.
I would love to hear a discussion/podcast from you on this subject of ulterior motives.
To clarify my first comment: did not at all intend to underplay the extent of racism revealed by the guy’s response, not minding the use of a racial epithet simply because it’s done by a family member. I was jus pointing out that there are other problems revealed by this action. But such an attitude will very likely surface in other ways, He’s not ready.
While the specifics demonstrate to me residual racism, things go even deeper. How can you dismiss someone you are pursuing a relationship with being insulted simply because those who insulted her happen to be family members? I would have been upset if someone had done that to a woman i was in the same situation with even if this insult had nothing to do with race. If she was made upset, it is serious! The fact that it would have involved race, given the situation, makes it even more disturbing. You chose correctly, Rachel. A deal breaker for sure.