• Home
  • About The Swirl World
  • Meet The Contributors
  • Shop
  • Contact Us
  • Disclosure Policy
  • Privacy Policy

The Swirl World

Celebrating and Elevating Black Women - mind, body, soul and spirit!


Privacy & Cookies: This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this website, you agree to their use.
To find out more, including how to control cookies, see here: Cookie Policy

Party of Five

February 4, 2011 By Michelle Matthews-Calloway 6 Comments

When you meet a potential love interest, what are the first 3 -5 things you immediately want to know about him/her? For me, if it was a guy a friend or acquaintance was trying to sell me on, the number ONE thing I wanted to know about was his height. A minimum of six feet was my benchmark, though if the guy had enough other desirable attributes I could be persuaded to consider someone who was 5’10”. All through life I said I couldn’t/wouldn’t marry a short man, and what did I do? Marry one who was about 5’6”!

Sidebar: [I eventually learned where my preoccupation with height originated. I’m probably the biggest Daddy’s girl in the world, but my beloved Father is only about what, 5’4”? At some point in life I realized that my fascination with height stemmed from the fact that my Dad’s height was the only thing about him I didn’t like. How tall am I, you ask? About 5’1” – and yes, good things do come in small packages!]

E.L.M.O. . . . . .

Anyway, height was number one for me, followed very closely by intelligence level, teeth, religion, and political affiliation . . . and probably pretty much in that order. As I grew older, some of the variables shifted and religion moved a little higher on my list – maybe right before teeth – but those have always been my rock-solid five. As for my Swirl Man . . . Height: check. (6’3”). Intelligence level: check. (He’s the math/numbers/engineering person that I always admired, but could never be because I’m a letters person and I loathe numbers and detest anything that smacks of being more complicated than 1 + 1 = 2). Teeth: check. (Beautiful and straight and perfect). Religion: Check. (Not just “check,” but Great. My Mother will accept him).

Political party: CHECK. BIG SIGH OF RELIEF. CHECK. AND CHECK AGAIN. (Whew. No issues. THANK GOD). Not just “check,” but GREAT. My Dad will accept him).

You see, fortunately for my Swirl Man and me, we don’t have any issues with religion, and belong to the same political party. I say “fortunately” because having no theological issues and the same party affiliation means having two fewer hurdles to face. And yes, whereas one would think being of different ethnicities was enough of a hurdle, not so. I certainly admire the power couples in Washington who are able to enjoy successful relationships in spite of being at polar ends of the political spectrum. While I’d like to think that I’m broad-minded, erudite, and cosmopolitan enough to handle it, I’m not sure I’d want to.  Besides, having different political parties may have been a deal breaker, especially when it came to dear old Dad.

Me (hands on the steering wheel, trying to give off a cool, calm, and collected vibe): “Daddy, I have something I need to talk to you about . . . .”

Daddy (looking at me sideways, eyes narrowing): “Oh, Lawd, Girl . . . what?”

(Now, he already knows what I’m going to say, mind you, because I told my Mother first – and of course she spilled the beans to him just as soon as I was out of her sight)


Me: (still cool and calm and breezy, playing the I-have-parents-who-have-been-married-so-long-I-know-they-tell-each-other-everything game) “I met this wonderful guy that I really, really love and care about, and I want you to meet him. I’m pretty sure he’s ‘The One.’”

Daddy (deciding he’s gonna cut to the chase and get it over with since he already knows and at the moment has something more important he wants to know): “Uh huh . . . I already know what you’re gonna say, Little Girl, because your Mother already told me.” (he already knows that I know her well enough to know that she’s already told him – so he knows she’s not under the bus).

Me (thinking about stringing my Dad along and getting all indignant, but I want to get it over with, too. After all, I’m my Father’s daughter): Ok; then you know SM is White.”

Daddy (shrugs; gives me the cool and calm and breezy vibe right back): “Yeah, I know. Look: (here it comes) What I wanna know is this: Is he a ______________, or a  ______________?” (I can always count on Daddy to be concerned about the important stuff)

Me (trying to decide if I’m gonna make his blood pressure go up by stringing him along, then looking at him and deciding that this is not the time to fall into my old habit of playing too much so I decide to get indignant): “Now Daddy, you know he’s a ________________, because there’s no way I could be with a ______________________!”

Daddy (looking younger by 100 years): “Then you have my blessing, Little Girl. I know you wouldn’t pick somebody who wasn’t a good man. All I want is for you to be happy. When do I get to meet my future son-in-law? Uh, what’s his name????”

I stifled my laughter, and then started telling him about my wonderful man.

Should I be ashamed of what appears to be a certain degree of closed-mindedness, political intolerance, apparent shallowness, yada, yada, yada? Um, maybe. But I’m not. I’m just happy that my party of five was able to get a table.

Be Sociable! Share this:

  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window) Facebook
  • Click to share on X (Opens in new window) X
  • Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window) Pinterest
  • Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window) Email
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window) LinkedIn
  • Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window) Tumblr
  • Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window) Reddit
  • Click to share on Pocket (Opens in new window) Pocket
  • Click to print (Opens in new window) Print

Like this:

Like Loading...

Related

Tweet
Pin
Share
0 Shares

Filed Under: Uncategorized

About Michelle Matthews-Calloway

I'm a native Louisianan currently living in Dallas, TX. I have a B.S. degree in marketing, an MBA and a PhD in higher education administration. I love writing and research, and also thoroughly enjoy reading and working out.

I am passionate about cultural/ethnic diversity and interracial relationships; so much so that my dissertation focused on these concepts. I'm a widow, and I started dating interracially a few years after my husband passed away. In addition to blogging about interracial relationships and social issues, we also provide a podcast available on iTunes, Google Play, Spotify, iHeart Radio, Sound Cloud and Stitcher.

You can also find me on Twitter or Instagram @ASwirlGirl.

Do you love vintage photos and history with your pop culture? Them come and join me and Podcast Co-Host Adrienne London Leach on Facebook at Facebook.com/TheSwirlWorld. If you love our military, come and show our warriors some love at Facebook.com/Military Swirl.

In The Swirl World we celebrate and elevate Black Women - mind, body, soul and spirit!™

Comments

  1. A Swirl Girl says

    February 11, 2011 at 4:06 PM

    Thanks! I know when you see those blanks, “Inquiring minds want to know!” LOL

  2. Barbara Francois says

    February 10, 2011 at 12:56 AM

    It was very funny but also insightful in the sense that it made me think about what my top 5 non-negotiables are. What I want to know is what were those blanks when your dad asked is he____________ or ______________? LOL. I am liking your blog so far. I will read some more tomorrow since I am going to bed but you are now bookmarked!

  3. A Swirl Girl says

    February 9, 2011 at 3:50 PM

    Michelle . . . YES! I could not even get concerned about a man’s politics or religion if he had yuck-mouth! FDLOL!

    I can’t wait for you to meet my Swirl Man, either! Thanks so much for the encouraging words.

  4. Michelle says

    February 7, 2011 at 11:30 AM

    Teeth? really? before politics & religion? LOL…. I love it and I am so happy you’ve found someone for you …. You deserve happiness….every little bit of it…. Looking forward to meeting him…..

  5. A Swirl Girl says

    February 4, 2011 at 8:07 PM

    Dakmi,

    Great questions! I especially like “what is her definition of family.” (Hmmm . . . I already feel another blog coming on . . . . . . . .) LOL!

  6. Dakmi says

    February 4, 2011 at 7:20 PM

    Is she is a Christian, does she want kids, Does she really like short men (LMBO), what’s her definition of family, what type of relationship she has with the woman and men close in her life.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Show more posts

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

The Swirl World Mug
The Swirl World Mug
by TheSwirlWorld

Join The Swirl Nation and Receive Updates Via Email!

Are You In?

Provide your email address if you'd like to hear from us from time to time. We promise we won't spam you!

Thank you!

You have successfully joined our subscriber list.

Looking for something? Search here!

Welcome!

I’m Michelle Matthews-Calloway, and I’m A Swirl Girl! Greetings to you from The Swirl World. We encourage Black women to expand their relationship options by dating and marrying interracially. Our overarching mission is to see Black Women live their best life. Come Swirl with us in The Swirl World™, where we celebrate Black women and the diverse men who love us!™

Join The Swirl World on Facebook

Join The Swirl World on Facebook

Listen to the Podcast on Sound Cloud

Join A Swirl Girl On Instagram

Instagram

Connect With Michelle On LinkedIn

View Michelle Matthews Calloway's profile on LinkedIn

Check Out Interracial Match!

InterracialMatch.com - the best interracial dating site!
InterracialMatch.com - the best interracial dating site!
The Swirl World Logo Flow Tee
The Swirl World Logo Flow Tee
by TheSwirlWorld
The Swirl World Logo Sticker
The Swirl World Logo Sticker
by TheSwirlWorld

Podcasts We Love

  • #SmartBrownVoices
  • Back2Us Radio Network
  • Behind The Brilliance
  • Black Girl Nerds
  • Design The Life You Want
  • Her Power Hustle
  • Interracial Jawn
  • Just Thinkin' Out Loud Media
  • Live By Design Inspiration Radio
  • Nerdy Black Chicks
  • The Freedom Biz
  • The Productive Woman
  • This Week In Blackness

Blogroll

  • 500and50
  • A Black Girl's Guide to Weight Loss
  • African American 101
  • Afrobella
  • Alaia Williams
  • Alphanista
  • Awesomely Luvvie
  • Baggage Reclaim
  • Beyond Black & White
  • Black Female Interracial Marriage
  • Black Girl Nerds
  • Black Girls Blogging
  • Black Women Deserve Better™
  • Black Women with Other Brothers
  • Black Women’s Interracial Relationship Circle
  • Bougie Black Girl
  • Chonilla
  • Courtney Herring
  • Elle Veg- All Things Vegetarian
  • For Harriet
  • Happy Black Woman
  • Interracial Dating Coach
  • Joyce L. Rodgers
  • Just Ask Kaye
  • Kaywanda Lamb
  • Littlefoot's Journey
  • LorMarie's Place
  • Married Girl in a Weird World
  • Mom's 'N Charge
  • MONETIZE THYSELF with Nicole Walters
  • Neecy's Nest
  • Oneika the Traveller
  • Petals
  • Socialite Dreams
  • Surviving Dating
  • Talk To Amber
  • The New Elegant Black Woman
  • The Social Graces & Savoir Faire Institute of Etiquette
  • The Sojourner’s Passport
  • The Style and Beauty Doctor
  • The Trendy Socialite
  • The Working Home Keeper
  • The World of Miss Glamtastic
  • Tia Delano
  • Water Cooler Convos

Copyright Terms:

All rights reserved. All work is the copyright of the respective owner, otherwise copyright ©2015 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, The Swirl World Podcast™, The Swirl World Inspiration Daily™, Swirl Nation™, all rights reserved, Dallas, TX, USA.
Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.

Archives

  • October 2018 (1)
  • August 2018 (1)
  • May 2018 (1)
  • March 2018 (1)
  • February 2018 (1)
  • January 2018 (2)
  • December 2017 (1)
  • November 2017 (1)
  • October 2017 (1)
  • August 2017 (2)
  • July 2017 (2)
  • June 2017 (2)
  • May 2017 (2)
  • April 2017 (2)
  • March 2017 (1)
  • February 2017 (1)
  • January 2017 (2)
  • December 2016 (14)
  • November 2016 (3)
  • October 2016 (2)
  • September 2016 (1)
  • August 2016 (4)
  • July 2016 (9)
  • June 2016 (9)
  • May 2016 (11)
  • April 2016 (5)
  • March 2016 (11)
  • February 2016 (13)
  • January 2016 (7)
  • December 2015 (34)
  • November 2015 (32)
  • October 2015 (35)
  • September 2015 (34)
  • August 2015 (34)
  • July 2015 (32)
  • June 2015 (38)
  • May 2015 (40)
  • April 2015 (37)
  • March 2015 (37)
  • February 2015 (33)
  • January 2015 (37)
  • December 2014 (18)
  • November 2014 (7)
  • October 2014 (5)
  • September 2014 (8)
  • August 2014 (7)
  • July 2014 (12)
  • June 2014 (9)
  • May 2014 (3)
  • April 2014 (4)
  • March 2014 (8)
  • February 2014 (5)
  • January 2014 (7)
  • December 2013 (8)
  • November 2013 (2)
  • October 2013 (2)
  • September 2013 (4)
  • August 2013 (6)
  • July 2013 (30)
  • June 2013 (4)
  • May 2013 (5)
  • April 2013 (29)
  • March 2013 (5)
  • February 2013 (5)
  • January 2013 (31)
  • December 2012 (4)
  • November 2012 (29)
  • October 2012 (2)
  • August 2012 (1)
  • July 2012 (1)
  • June 2012 (3)
  • May 2012 (1)
  • April 2012 (1)
  • May 2011 (4)
  • April 2011 (5)
  • March 2011 (4)
  • February 2011 (4)
  • January 2011 (4)

Copyright © 2025 · The Swirl World™ LLC. All Rights Reserved. · Log in

%d