Here on the blog I tend to talk quite a bit about setting and reaching goals and achieving.
I know why I do this: It’s because setting goals – and achieving them – is a huge part of my life (and has been a huge part of my life for as long as I can remember).
I push myself to succeed, and my friends will tell you I also push them to succeed.
And you know what? I also want you to succeed.
“Success” is defined differently for each of us, and that’s ok.
The goal (see what I did there?) is to strive for whatever success means to us, and to be willing to take the steps required to obtain that success.
In today’s quote, Lou Holtz says, “If you’re bored with life — you don’t get up every morning with a burning desire to do things — you don’t have enough goals.”
I agree with him!
If you’re constantly feeling bored, I have to ask “Do you have enough goals?”
How about we take the word “bored” out of our vocabulary, and instead replace it with descriptions of the activities, hobbies and – watch for it – goals – we are reaching for.
I challenge you to banish boredom, and get some things done instead.
Join in the Fray: What goals have you set for this month? For the remainder of the year?
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Jeff, please do! Not just to her, but other Black women you come in contact with. I believe I mentioned this before – you would be surprised at how many Black women inbox us and email us to tell us they don’t think White men are interested in them, and vice versus. I’m amazed by it.
In that place, and cafes in the Bay Area in general, feels like that’s the overall vibe, people seem uptight about eye contact with strangers. Strange how everyone now wants to have their totally private space in public, one wonders why they went out in the first place. I’ve probably become used to assuming this is the vibe i get from anyone i encounter there, and with young women and black ones i tend to be assuming it and expecting it. Maybe she really was unwelcoming, and then maybe i just went to my “default” perception, easy to do, too easy. If i see her again, maybe i’ll pay closer attention.
Oh they’re reading, just not commenting. This blog gets a very nice amount of traffic, not only here on the website, but also from the Facebook page and mailing list. People like to read over here but not necessarily comment – they inbox me instead. It’s weird – I haven’t figured out why that’s the preference/online culture here. I don’t feel quite like the oddball because I know of several blogs I read and enjoy, and they are similar – I know they get the traffic, but few comments on their posts.
In reference to you making eye contact, you stated, ” . . . but then i found myself doing whatever i could to avoid any more, just feels inappropriate and unwelcome, beyond even any racial barrier.” May I ask why it felt inappropriate and unwelcome??? Was that a vibe you got from her???
Normal? I don’t know if our weather out here will return to “normal” any time soon, predictions are that the several years of drought will turn this year into a big flood. We shall see. As i noted, amongst other things i’m a weather/climate geek.
Wondering, is there anyone else here besides you and me? Is anyone else reading my comments? I was hoping they are, but that would of course require that they be present in the first place. Interesting experience today at my cafe (i.e. the one i hang out in, almost every day). Went in, there was a couple sitting not too far, 10-15 feet away, BWWM, He was eerily reminiscent of a younger me, from the time i was just starting to grow my hair out, with a wispy mustache/goatee. She was quite gorgeous. They were each looking at their devices.He got up at one point, went over to her side of the small table, and kissed her, she didn’t stop him or anything, but didn’t seem overjoyed, though it’s hard to tell. Yes, swirl, but so :”normal” in that young couples in general, seem to think nothing of communicating with others while they;re supposedly hanging out together.. Sp,e 20 feet away in a different direction there was a really attractive young black woman sitting working on her laptop.. Made incidental eye contact, but then i found myself doing whatever i could to avoid any more, just feels inappropriate and unwelcome, beyond even any racial barrier, though it felt that this accentuated my feeling. So difficult to connect in a world which increasingly appears to scorn social interactions between strangers in public, with the IR factor accentuating this.
You and a number of my Cali friends have been gasping, and I have to admit I’ve been snickering. Hopefully things will cool off/get back to normal for y’all.
I’m certainly happy you found our blog! I truly appreciate the fact that you don’t mind sharing – your transparency is everything. I haven’t been able to figure out why many of the people who frequent this blog prefer to inbox me. I kinda think some of it may be because I say I read and respond to emails but I’m not sure. Nevertheless, please do keep commenting, even after you come in the Facebook group!
It got to … gasp, 91 here yesterday, 85 today. Just a couple of miles east of here, it was over 100. The hills and Bay make a lot of difference.
I keep a dream journal, and a weather journal, IN the latter, i do also keep track of strut i do, including people i notice. In the former, i note the applicability of swirl to the dream content. There’s also the short story. I have been keeping mental notes re me and swirl since coming upon the term early this year, as i mentioned previously, though of course the content of the term has been on my mind for some 50 years, including relationships, a very near-miss, and a couple of episodes i am still trying to figure out as to what they amounted to. In a sense, i keep track of my progress via my comments here.
Am I laughing? Today the temperature got up to over 90 degrees here so, yeah, I’m laughing! 🙂 Thankfully, we got a good, albeit short, rainstorm and it cooled everything off. I’ve said it before – I hate the heat – so I totally get it. We’re supposed to have nighttime temps in the 60’s next week, so I’m doing THE HAPPY DANCE.
Question: Do you journal? I’m asking because I would LOVE for you to keep track of (and hopefully blog) about your process in “figuring out” your swirl.
Oops, sorry, i really thought i included more stuff, about goals, it’s hot here, confusing, we’re not used to it. Please don’t laugh at me, Michelle for going haywire with temps getting into the 80s,:-) (Actually got to 90).
Goals, short term.
1. Lower my blood pressure, i’ve been told to do so by my doctor.
2. Eliminate some 90 percent of my paper files, lots of no-longer-useful information.
3. Get a new roof for my car.
4. Clear the kitchen counters of clutter. In general, greatly lessen clutter, so for example i could play music without having to feel like i’m squeezed for space.
Problem is that #1 conflicts with getting 2-4 done.
By year’s end, i intend to figure out better what to do about me and swirl. Not sure how this can be measured. i.e. what “better” means and how much better.
Sometimes when we say we’re bored, we really mean we’re frustrated, stymied in the pursuit of our goals. Doing anything sounds futile given how big the barriers appear *at the moment.* At such times, consider backing up, and looking around. Are there perhaps different paths towards the goals you wish to achieve? Have the paths you’ve been pursuing turned into ruts? Do you maybe need to rearrange priorities?