What Making The First Move Can Teach Us About Finding Love

Ladies, if you were at a party and saw a cute guy you found interesting, what would you do?

I’m directing my questions to ladies because it’s not surprising for men to make the first move – in fact, it’s usually expected.

But what about a woman? Is there ever a time when a woman should make the first move?

Different schools of thought and theories exist on whether a woman should make any moves. Some believe a nice smile, lingering glance or simply saying hello should be enough for a woman to indicate interest.

Others advocate women doing absolutely nothing other than letting a man make all the moves – if he’s interested, they reason, then he’ll make a move in the woman’s direction.

Still others believe nothing is wrong with a woman being open about her interest – and going after what she wants.

Meet Lela and Mark.

Lela and Mark - 2

When Lela saw Mark, she – well, read their story and find out!

Where do you live? 

We live in Loganville, GA

How long have you been together?

We’ll be together two years come May.

Do you have any children?

We have a five-month-old named Maleah and one on the way, that’ll be here come this August.

Lela and Mark - Baby

How/where did you meet?

We met at a night lounge. We were not looking for each other but we found each other. I saw him and went to him and asked if he wanted to dance, he said, “Yes of course!” (Lol!)

But we talked and danced all night together. At the end of the night he walked me to my car and we exchanged numbers. He tried to kiss me but I wasn’t having it. Lol!

We started hanging out; I mean every weekend he was coming to my house to pick me up. Rain or whatever he was there. Things progressed as we spent more time with each other. Just finding out how much we had in common was so nice.

Well one day at his house relaxing on the porch, he asked to make our friendship official into a relationship. I couldn’t deny it. He was all that I wanted in a man. Very sweet, funny, smart and truly cared for me.

How did your families respond to your relationship?

Our families were very supportive. My family loved that I found someone who I could spend my time with, enjoy life and possibly grow old together. His family was happy he found someone cool, calm and collected to help keep him grounded.

What do you like most about each other?

Lela: What I like most about him is that he’s such a hardworking man. He truly loves me, and he’s an amazing father.

Mark: What I like most about her is her personality and her sense of humor. She’s beautiful, and we have so much in common.

What advice would you give to others who are interested in dating/marrying interracially?

Our advice is to go for it! You never know what you could be missing out on if you’re not open to different possibilities.

Lela and Mark - Baby 2

And there you have it! Lela wasn’t too shy or afraid to ask Mark to dance, and the rest is history. Sometimes making the first move can lead to lasting love – and that goes both ways!

Join in the Fray: Who should make the first move – a man or a woman?

All rights reserved. All work is the copyright of the respective owner, otherwise copyright © 2014 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, Dallas, TX, USA. Photos used with permission.


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A Swirl Girl
A Swirl Girl

Fashionista, so very true! *Two thumbs up*


And.. I don't think that anything is wrong with making the first move. Some white men might not approach me because they don't think that I would be interested in them. I have approached guys before and flirted letting them know I'm interested. You have to take chances in life in order to receive something wonderful . ;-)


Fashionista, They certainly are!