The Shocking Truth About The Plenty Of Fish Dating Site

Of all the online dating websites out there, I’d say Plenty Of Fish – POF – gets the worst rap.

Women complain about the jerks, scumbags and sleaze balls that troll around on that site looking for fresh meat like jackals in the wild.

Time would not allow me to tell you of the horror stories I’ve heard and read – guys posting “birthday suit” profile photos, obscene pickup lines and other gross, classless foolery.

So much foolery that POF is often referred to as POS.



Despite these discouraging tales, the shocking truth about Plenty Of Fish is that people are actually finding love.

Yep – people. are. finding. love. on. Plenty. Of. Fish.

Not just love – interracial love.

Swirl love.


A few weeks ago we were treated to a video of David Mazur and Andrea Ellis, a Swirl couple who met on POF and won a $100,000 grand prize toward their dream wedding.

We’d be happy for any couple who won, but we have to admit that we were especially happy that a Swirl couple won that huge prize. They represented – not only for POF, but for Swirl couples worldwide.

Not Convinced? We’ll Make A Believer Out Of You

We posted a question on The Swirl World’s Facebook page and asked our fans if they used POF.

In light of POF’s bad reputation, the results were surprising.

Meet Chassitie and Josh Thornton.

Chassitie and Josh Photo 1

They met on Plenty Of Fish. 

Here’s their story in Chassitie’s own words:

My husband and I currently live in Fairbanks, Alaska – his current duty station. In Fall of 2014 we will be moving to Yelm, Washington (his home town) for our next duty station – Fort Lewis.

Chassitie and Josh Photo 4

We have been together for 13 months. We officially met the day after my birthday.

We currently have no children at all but would like to start our family when he returns from his current deployment. We want at least 3 children (I want five though! lol).

How They Met

It was a few days after I moved to Fairbanks, with my best friend, from my hometown in California. We met through a message on It was a social website for people trying to find friends or a date. My overall goal was friends. I grew up in a small town in northern California and was a tomboy who always hung out with the guys. So having just moved I wanted to make some friends.

I wrote him telling him about having just moved and that I was looking for friends to hang out with and hike, play video games or watch movies with. He wrote back. We talked for a day or two about our hobbies and interests and then I gave him my number. We made plans to hang out, but never got around to an actual day. Then for some reason I can’t remember I just stopped talking.

Then came my birthday. I was out getting my hair done when he texted me to wish me a happy birthday. It was then that I asked him if he wanted to hang out – I wanted to look at outdoor gear and camping stuff.

So the next day he came and picked me up. We went to the Sportsmans’ Warehouse and walked around for a bit talking about outdoor stuff and camping trips and things we wanted to do.

Chassitie and Josh Photo 5

I don’t know when exactly it happened but sometime within the next 24 hours I knew we couldn’t be “just friends.”

So we started dating.

Chassitie and Josh Photo 7

Their Defining Moment (When They Knew They Were In Love)

Chassitie and Josh Photo Kiss

Chassitie: I knew I loved him a little over a week after we first met. We spent every moment that he wasn’t at work together. I knew I had feelings for him before then but later I was certain I loved him when we took our first shower together. We just held onto one another. I felt so comfortable and so safe and so secure. And I’ve never felt like that with anyone before.

Chassitie and Josh Photo 8

Josh: My wife and I have this thing we do where we reminisce on the moments of our relationship, and one of the questions that comes up is when I knew I loved her. The answer is always the same. I knew I loved her the moment we met. But she was the first to say it.

Chassitie and Josh Photo 10

What They Like Most About Each Other

Chassitie: I love his sensitivity, his softness, his strength, his understanding and his patience. But above all, I love that he is family oriented. Family is the biggest priority in my life.

Josh: Her strength. Our first year of marriage was hard because we faced – I faced – a few personal hardships. But she was always there for me, she was my rock. She always knew exactly what to do or what to say to make me feel better and put a smile on my face.

Chassitie and Josh Photo 11

The Advice They Would Give To Others

Chassitie: My biggest piece of advice would be, Don’t be afraid to take chances or step outside your comfort zone.

Josh: Just be yourself. I never tried to impress my wife. When we first met I was wearing Wranglers and a t-shirt.

Chassitie and Josh Photo 6

More To Come

For those of you who are still skeptical, we have something for you: More couples.

Stay tuned; the next three couples we’re featuring have something in common besides their Swirl status:

They all met on Plenty Of Fish.

We’ll share some of their vetting tips, and they’ll tell you how they managed to navigate the shark-infested waters of POS POF and find the love of their lives.

In the meantime, for some “Come to Jesus vetting tips” we wholeheartedly suggest that you check out Eugenia Berg’s Married Girl In A Weird World blog.

Eugenia did an awesome series entitled “Dating In The Age of Dumba$$es – Online Dating” Vetting Redux.” Click here for Part 1 and here for Part 2.

Swirl on.

Join in the Fray: Are you currently on an online dating site? Which one(s)? What have been your experiences?

All rights reserved. Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, Dallas, TX, USA. Photos used with permission.



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About TheSwirlWorld

I'm a native Louisianan currently living in Dallas, TX. I have a B.S. degree in marketing, an MBA and a PhD in higher education administration. I love writing and research, and also thoroughly enjoy reading and working out.

I am passionate about cultural/ethnic diversity and interracial relationships; so much so that my dissertation focused on these concepts. This is my outlet for blogging about interracial relationships and social issues. In The Swirl World, we celebrate "Ordinary People . . . Extraordinary Love!"

You can also find me on Twitter or Instagram @ASwirlGirl.

Love vintage photos and history with your pop culture? Them come and join me on Facebook at The Swirl World (

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  1. Thank you for the shout out but wanted to let you know. I clicked on the links for Part 1 and Part 2 and they aren’t working. Just a heads up. But thanks for the shout.

    While we’re on the subject, yes most dating sites have skeezy dudes on them. They’re skeezy dudes in real life, I don’t know why anyone would expect anything different in online dating. And there are skeezy dudes that sometimes try to talk to you in real life. Online dating is just a bigger, faster version of real life dating. That’s it. So everything you have in real life, you pretty much have online. I met my hubs on Craigslist and a bunch of ppl were like ‘OMG I would never go on there.” I thought, why, Craigslist is as good as any other site if you know how to vet. You can weed through all the jokers and players and find a nice guy, same thing you do in real life. I know bw who have found their swirl Prince Charming on there. No I wasn’t desperate but I felt like lot of ppl I was hesitant to use Craigslist b/c all the ‘crazy killer’ thing but that wasn’t due to Craigslist that was due to women not vetting and not using safety precautions when dating, that goes for any guy on any online dating site, pay or non-pay. I’m glad I took a chance on Craigslist, I found the love of my life and we’re just as happy as happy can be married and planning for a baby. It takes you, women, to be smart and savvy about how they utilize online dating. Great post.

    • Hi Eugenia,

      Thanks for letting me know! I will go back and repaste them.

      I’m with you; I don’t know why people get all bent out of shape about the simplest things. Vet, vet, VET!!! No matter where you meet someone. SMH

  2. Sorry, but plenty of fish is the shittest dating website in the world. No one ever replies, or goes on any dates. Yes there will be a few people that find ‘love’ but evidently there are millions of users on there. 99.99% get NOTHING! Unquestionably the worst dating website ever. If you want a GREAT! website where you can actually get DATES! then go to the much lesser known OKcupid it actually works, believe it or not. POF is overhyped and more famous, and it’s also the crappest of them all.

  3. I’ve been on Pof for the longest time. Since my late 20’s until now, mid 30’s. I’ve gone on 3 dates and have sent thousands of messages. The majority of the replies that I have gotten back have be to say that they don’t like chocolate. It’s free so I can’t complain about money lost, but if you’re a guy it’s not in your favor.

  4. Hi Jamie,

    Your view is the prevailing one that seems to be shared by the majority of people, yet we had a number of couples on our Facebook page tell us they met on POF. I’ve also been informed that they’ve instituted stricter standards; not sure because I’ve never been on there. I guess it”s just a matter of timing. Thankfully, there are more sites to choose from if POF is not to your liking.

  5. Shawn,

    I’m so sorry to hear that! There are many men who celebrate “Chocolate” and you only need to find one with whom you are compatible. Have you tried AfroRomance or some of the other interracial dating sites???

  6. Every weekend i used to pay a visit this web page,
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  7. You have never been on there? Seriously? And now you are writing about the site like you have experienced first hand (Taking the words of others.) What a Joke. Well while you are using “facts” take this one into account….that site is terrible the owner is a moron and the women are the worst.

  8. Youreon,

    Reading is fundamental. I’m writing about the experiences OTHERS are having with the site. “Taking the words of others.” And I suppose that means we don’t have to take YOUR words about the site?

    That’s what I thought.

  9. The women are the worst? I have joined most dating sites and been on them on and off for about 2 years now. Out of all the guys I have met, 4 remained my friends and of those 4, 3 are in a relationships. The rest are of them are just pure idiots. I can’t even understand now what exactly men are doing on dating sites, especially the ones that say in their profile they want a relationship… And the owners of dating sites, most of them are only in it for the money.

  10. I had no idea that PoF had a bad rap when I signed up after ending an 8-year relationship. My profile didn’t lie, I posted lots of pics, I warned potential suitors that I wouldn’t respond to crude messages. My results were great! It’s really easy to determine who is crazy or not with this site, just make them chat to you at least a week before meeting them! Don’t be an idiot. Getting married on Saturday to the second guy I met on PoF. Love him to death… It happens :)

    • @cbu
      My profile does not lie and is very simple. My pictures are perfectly normal and you can see who I am, no Photoshop needed. But where I live, it is rather small, same people across most dating sites. I can tell with a few messages what type of guy I am dealing with but even with the ones I have chatted enough to meet them (within a week or a few weeks as loads of guys here work in the mines) but I have not been as lucky as you (congratulations by the way). I have been told I was too picky because I want someone around my age not 20 years younger or older and someone tall at least 180cm because I don’t like to look down on my man, tried to date a shorter guy and that just did not do it for me.

      • Hi Prisqua!

        Keep being honest with your profile, and don’t settle. Often when people call you “picky” it’s because they want you to compromise or lower your standards. Don’t. Do. It! Stay true to who you are, and love will eventually find you. When it does, be sure to email me so we can share your story!

    • Awesome Sauce and Congratulations! Chelsea, I’m sure you’re on your honeymoon right now but when you return, send me some pictures. Woot Woot!

  11. Hello! I’ve been enjoying reading all the comments! I too, found my soul mate on POF. He was only the 2nd guy I dated. After 2 months he gave me a ring and our wedding date is set for October 15, 2015. I am having the time of my life planning my wedding, looking for a gown and knowing that I have the absolute greatest guy in the world. Our profiles were both honest, right on the money and we were both looking for the same thing: a lasting relationship for the second half of our lives. I’m 47, 1st marriage and my fiancée is 49, 2nd time for him and this one’s for keeps :) We are also interracial. I’m white and he’s PR. That site is a great site. The first guy I met was really nice, successful too but we were at different places in our lives. It really does happen for some folks!

  12. Mustbeugly says:

    I was on the site for 10 years.

    Met 0 women.
    Had 0 Replies.
    Sent literally over 5000+ messages.
    Never sent nude pics. Never sent sleaze mails.

  13. I been on pof for years met some jerks lol but nov 17 2013, I fount my soulmate we been together for a year
    now. We planning our
    wedding for next year nov 17 2015. Im african
    American and hes white.

  14. Hi Sabrina,

    Sorry I’m just now seeing your comment.

    I’m so happy POF worked for you and your fiance! Congrats to the both of you. Sometimes, despite all the naysayers and the bad experiences others may have, somethings just WORK.

  15. Hi Libby,

    Thanks so much for sharing your story! All the best to you and your fiance.

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