The Shocking Truth About The Plenty Of Fish Dating Site

Of all the online dating websites out there, I’d say Plenty Of Fish – POF – gets the worst rap.

Women complain about the jerks, scumbags and sleaze balls that troll around on that site looking for fresh meat like jackals in the wild.

Time would not allow me to tell you of the horror stories I’ve heard and read – guys posting “birthday suit” profile photos, obscene pickup lines and other gross, classless foolery.

So much foolery that POF is often referred to as POS.

(IJS).

???????

Despite these discouraging tales, the shocking truth about the Plenty Of Fish dating site is that people are actually finding love.

Yep – people. are. finding. love. on. Plenty. Of. Fish.

Not just love – interracial love.

Swirl love.

SHOCKED FACE

A few weeks ago we were treated to a video of David Mazur and Andrea Ellis, a Swirl couple who met on POF and won a $100,000 grand prize toward their dream wedding.

We’d be happy for any couple who won, but we have to admit that we were especially happy that a Swirl couple won that huge prize. They represented – not only for POF, but for Swirl couples worldwide.

Not Convinced? We’ll Make A Believer Out Of You

We posted a question on The Swirl World’s Facebook page and asked our fans if they used POF.

In light of POF’s bad reputation, the results were surprising.

Meet Chassitie and Josh Thornton.

Chassitie and Josh Photo 1

They met on Plenty Of Fish. 

Here’s their story in Chassitie’s own words:

My husband and I currently live in Fairbanks, Alaska – his current duty station. In Fall of 2014 we will be moving to Yelm, Washington (his home town) for our next duty station – Fort Lewis.

Chassitie and Josh Photo 4

We have been together for 13 months. We officially met the day after my birthday.

We currently have no children at all but would like to start our family when he returns from his current deployment. We want at least 3 children (I want five though! lol).

How They Met

It was a few days after I moved to Fairbanks, with my best friend, from my hometown in California. We met through a message on POF.com. It was a social website for people trying to find friends or a date. My overall goal was friends. I grew up in a small town in northern California and was a tomboy who always hung out with the guys. So having just moved I wanted to make some friends.

I wrote him telling him about having just moved and that I was looking for friends to hang out with and hike, play video games or watch movies with. He wrote back. We talked for a day or two about our hobbies and interests and then I gave him my number. We made plans to hang out, but never got around to an actual day. Then for some reason I can’t remember I just stopped talking.

Then came my birthday. I was out getting my hair done when he texted me to wish me a happy birthday. It was then that I asked him if he wanted to hang out – I wanted to look at outdoor gear and camping stuff.

So the next day he came and picked me up. We went to the Sportsmans’ Warehouse and walked around for a bit talking about outdoor stuff and camping trips and things we wanted to do.

Chassitie and Josh Photo 5

I don’t know when exactly it happened but sometime within the next 24 hours I knew we couldn’t be “just friends.”

So we started dating.

Chassitie and Josh Photo 7

Their Defining Moment (When They Knew They Were In Love)

Chassitie and Josh Photo Kiss

Chassitie: I knew I loved him a little over a week after we first met. We spent every moment that he wasn’t at work together. I knew I had feelings for him before then but later I was certain I loved him when we took our first shower together. We just held onto one another. I felt so comfortable and so safe and so secure. And I’ve never felt like that with anyone before.

Chassitie and Josh Photo 8

Josh: My wife and I have this thing we do where we reminisce on the moments of our relationship, and one of the questions that comes up is when I knew I loved her. The answer is always the same. I knew I loved her the moment we met. But she was the first to say it.

Chassitie and Josh Photo 10

What They Like Most About Each Other

Chassitie: I love his sensitivity, his softness, his strength, his understanding and his patience. But above all, I love that he is family oriented. Family is the biggest priority in my life.

Josh: Her strength. Our first year of marriage was hard because we faced – I faced – a few personal hardships. But she was always there for me, she was my rock. She always knew exactly what to do or what to say to make me feel better and put a smile on my face.

Chassitie and Josh Photo 11

The Advice They Would Give To Others

Chassitie: My biggest piece of advice would be, Don’t be afraid to take chances or step outside your comfort zone.

Josh: Just be yourself. I never tried to impress my wife. When we first met I was wearing Wranglers and a t-shirt.

Chassitie and Josh Photo 6

More To Come

For those of you who are still skeptical, we have something for you: More couples.

Stay tuned; the next three couples we’re featuring have something in common besides their Swirl status:

They all met on Plenty Of Fish.

We’ll share some of their vetting tips, and they’ll tell you how they managed to navigate the shark-infested waters of POS POF and find the love of their lives.

In the meantime, for some “Come to Jesus vetting tips” we wholeheartedly suggest that you check out Eugenia Berg’s Married Girl In A Weird World blog.

Eugenia did an awesome series entitled “Dating In The Age of Dumba$$es – Online Dating” Vetting Redux.” Click here for Part 1 and here for Part 2.

Swirl on.

Join in the Fray: Are you currently on an online dating site? Which one(s)? What have been your experiences?

All rights reserved. Copyright © 2013 Michelle Matthews Calloway, ASwirlGirl™, The Swirl World™, Dallas, TX, USA. Photos used with permission.

 

 

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Comments

  1. Eugenia says

    Thank you for the shout out but wanted to let you know. I clicked on the links for Part 1 and Part 2 and they aren’t working. Just a heads up. But thanks for the shout.

    While we’re on the subject, yes most dating sites have skeezy dudes on them. They’re skeezy dudes in real life, I don’t know why anyone would expect anything different in online dating. And there are skeezy dudes that sometimes try to talk to you in real life. Online dating is just a bigger, faster version of real life dating. That’s it. So everything you have in real life, you pretty much have online. I met my hubs on Craigslist and a bunch of ppl were like ‘OMG I would never go on there.” I thought, why, Craigslist is as good as any other site if you know how to vet. You can weed through all the jokers and players and find a nice guy, same thing you do in real life. I know bw who have found their swirl Prince Charming on there. No I wasn’t desperate but I felt like lot of ppl I was hesitant to use Craigslist b/c all the ‘crazy killer’ thing but that wasn’t due to Craigslist that was due to women not vetting and not using safety precautions when dating, that goes for any guy on any online dating site, pay or non-pay. I’m glad I took a chance on Craigslist, I found the love of my life and we’re just as happy as happy can be married and planning for a baby. It takes you, women, to be smart and savvy about how they utilize online dating. Great post.

    • says

      Hi Eugenia,

      Thanks for letting me know! I will go back and repaste them.

      I’m with you; I don’t know why people get all bent out of shape about the simplest things. Vet, vet, VET!!! No matter where you meet someone. SMH

  2. Jamie says

    Sorry, but plenty of fish is the shittest dating website in the world. No one ever replies, or goes on any dates. Yes there will be a few people that find ‘love’ but evidently there are millions of users on there. 99.99% get NOTHING! Unquestionably the worst dating website ever. If you want a GREAT! website where you can actually get DATES! then go to the much lesser known OKcupid it actually works, believe it or not. POF is overhyped and more famous, and it’s also the crappest of them all.

  3. Shawn says

    I’ve been on Pof for the longest time. Since my late 20’s until now, mid 30’s. I’ve gone on 3 dates and have sent thousands of messages. The majority of the replies that I have gotten back have be to say that they don’t like chocolate. It’s free so I can’t complain about money lost, but if you’re a guy it’s not in your favor.

  4. says

    Hi Jamie,

    Your view is the prevailing one that seems to be shared by the majority of people, yet we had a number of couples on our Facebook page tell us they met on POF. I’ve also been informed that they’ve instituted stricter standards; not sure because I’ve never been on there. I guess it”s just a matter of timing. Thankfully, there are more sites to choose from if POF is not to your liking.

  5. says

    Shawn,

    I’m so sorry to hear that! There are many men who celebrate “Chocolate” and you only need to find one with whom you are compatible. Have you tried AfroRomance or some of the other interracial dating sites???

  6. says

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  7. Yureon says

    You have never been on there? Seriously? And now you are writing about the site like you have experienced first hand (Taking the words of others.) What a Joke. Well while you are using “facts” take this one into account….that site is terrible the owner is a moron and the women are the worst.

  8. says

    Youreon,

    Reading is fundamental. I’m writing about the experiences OTHERS are having with the site. “Taking the words of others.” And I suppose that means we don’t have to take YOUR words about the site?

    That’s what I thought.

  9. says

    The women are the worst? I have joined most dating sites and been on them on and off for about 2 years now. Out of all the guys I have met, 4 remained my friends and of those 4, 3 are in a relationships. The rest are of them are just pure idiots. I can’t even understand now what exactly men are doing on dating sites, especially the ones that say in their profile they want a relationship… And the owners of dating sites, most of them are only in it for the money.

  10. cbu says

    I had no idea that PoF had a bad rap when I signed up after ending an 8-year relationship. My profile didn’t lie, I posted lots of pics, I warned potential suitors that I wouldn’t respond to crude messages. My results were great! It’s really easy to determine who is crazy or not with this site, just make them chat to you at least a week before meeting them! Don’t be an idiot. Getting married on Saturday to the second guy I met on PoF. Love him to death… It happens :)

    • says

      @cbu
      My profile does not lie and is very simple. My pictures are perfectly normal and you can see who I am, no Photoshop needed. But where I live, it is rather small, same people across most dating sites. I can tell with a few messages what type of guy I am dealing with but even with the ones I have chatted enough to meet them (within a week or a few weeks as loads of guys here work in the mines) but I have not been as lucky as you (congratulations by the way). I have been told I was too picky because I want someone around my age not 20 years younger or older and someone tall at least 180cm because I don’t like to look down on my man, tried to date a shorter guy and that just did not do it for me.

      • says

        Hi Prisqua!

        Keep being honest with your profile, and don’t settle. Often when people call you “picky” it’s because they want you to compromise or lower your standards. Don’t. Do. It! Stay true to who you are, and love will eventually find you. When it does, be sure to email me so we can share your story!

  11. Sabrina says

    Hello! I’ve been enjoying reading all the comments! I too, found my soul mate on POF. He was only the 2nd guy I dated. After 2 months he gave me a ring and our wedding date is set for October 15, 2015. I am having the time of my life planning my wedding, looking for a gown and knowing that I have the absolute greatest guy in the world. Our profiles were both honest, right on the money and we were both looking for the same thing: a lasting relationship for the second half of our lives. I’m 47, 1st marriage and my fiancée is 49, 2nd time for him and this one’s for keeps :) We are also interracial. I’m white and he’s PR. That site is a great site. The first guy I met was really nice, successful too but we were at different places in our lives. It really does happen for some folks!

  12. Mustbeugly says

    I was on the site for 10 years.

    Met 0 women.
    Had 0 Replies.
    Sent literally over 5000+ messages.
    Never sent nude pics. Never sent sleaze mails.

  13. says

    I been on pof for years met some jerks lol but nov 17 2013, I fount my soulmate we been together for a year
    now. We planning our
    wedding for next year nov 17 2015. Im african
    American and hes white.

  14. says

    Hi Sabrina,

    Sorry I’m just now seeing your comment.

    I’m so happy POF worked for you and your fiance! Congrats to the both of you. Sometimes, despite all the naysayers and the bad experiences others may have, somethings just WORK.

  15. says

    Are you kidding me? Okcupid is just as bad as POF! I’ve been on that site before, and it’s downright horrible. Rude members, time wasters, and hardly ever getting any replies. I’m not a bad looking guy, and I’m not overweight or rude. Okcupid was terrible, I must had sent over over 1000 messages in the few months I was on there, and I hardly got any replies. Most were vapor trail conversations, and texts. The women on that site have serious issues or are just not serious. At least with POF, I did have one relationship out of it, but that was the only relationship out of that site in over 4-5 years of being on it. That relationship was a huge disaster too. She ended up being very unstable, cheated, lied and was emotionally abusive. She also possibly had DID/MPD.. The funny thing is that a lot of women I ran into POF had that condition. OKcupid is crap, I was blocked from accessing the site, just for reporting an abusive member.. They let anyone be a moderator on there, and half the time, they are the ones doing the BS/bullying/Spamming on there. Stay away from Okcupid!

    Stay away from Okcupid and POF.. They will cause harm to your mental health.

  16. says

    Are you kidding me? Okcupid is just as bad as POF! I’ve been on that site before, and it’s downright horrible. Rude members, time wasters, and hardly ever getting any replies. I’m not a bad looking guy, and I’m not overweight or rude. Okcupid was terrible, I must had sent over over 1000 messages in the few months I was on there, and I hardly got any replies. Most were vapor trail conversations, and texts. The women on that site have serious issues or are just not serious. At least with POF, I did have one relationship out of it, but that was the only relationship out of that site in over 4-5 years of being on it. That relationship was a huge disaster too. She ended up being very unstable, cheated, lied and was emotionally abusive. She also possibly had DID/MPD.. The funny thing is that a lot of women I ran into POF had that condition. OKcupid is crap, I was blocked from accessing the site, just for reporting an abusive member.. They let anyone be a moderator on there, and half the time, they are the ones doing the BS/bullying/Spamming on there. Stay away from Okcupid!

    Stay away from Okcupid and POF.. They will cause harm to your mental health.

  17. Nightowl says

    congratulations on meeting your husband and happy you two met and it all worked out etc… but honestly, to me, you two are just incredibly extra igood looking people… good looking people attract other good looking people regardless of ethnicity… ok. maybe not all of the time, but I think the majority.

  18. jmlesq says

    I’ve been swirling 99% exclusively since 2002. And have had success on all the sites I’ve been on including meeting my son’s father. I joined POF in July 2014. I’ve had nothing but good luck. Every guy I’ve met in person I’ve only had short-term relationships. Not because they were horrible but not the right one. It’s hard to go beyond that when your heart belongs to another…met in 2013 on Interracial Dating Central and instant connection but personal tragedies happened. He’s returned to my life and I look forward to redeveloping our swirl relationship. If not for him, I have confidence that POF would’ve produced a long-term relationship.

    • says

      jmlesq, thanks so much for reading and commenting. What’s that saying? “Timing is everything.” That’s true in so many aspects of life. We had one fan who, after being on POF for only SEVEN DAYS, met the guy who became her husband! All the best to you and your love.

  19. says

    My fiance and I met on POF. I reached out to him and so I got the ball rolling. Not thinking we wld actually be here today. It was worth a shot, I took a chance and am so glad I did. He was sweetest guy I ever met and still is today. We were both single parents of one child each., before having our own with one another last year. Making it 3 kids now.,we are happily engaged,, going on 3 yrs now.,, and currently have new baby on the way.. making it 4 now,, he’s love of my life, my other half,, my life is complete now,, Who woulda known two single parents would come together at a troubling time and become a family. Taking chances can completely change your life for the better. Thank God! Hope this story helps and gives Lil hope where it needs it.

  20. Alfie says

    What a beautiful and similar story to me and my fiance Markis. We are a “swirl” couple :) and met 15 months ago on POF. I had not long set up my account before i saw him. I was too afraid to say anything to him so i just looked at his page all day every day until he messaged me hahaha. Besides his handsome face the thing that grabbed me was that he stated “mistaking me for a tough guy would be your loss” i knew right away what he meant by that. We talked every day all day and counted down the moments until the day we agreed to meet (1week later). We have so much in common, but yet are different enough that we learn from one another. We were from different cities so we at first only saw each other on wknds but talked ALL DAY EVERY DAY. fast forward, today we are engaged to be married next year, living together, and trying hard to conceive. I love the way he is so attentive and patient with me..omg he is really funny we make each other laugh all the time. We dont always agree on things but i love how we are patient enough to work out those disagreements. He makes me feel like a woman and that makes me want to be more feminine.

    My opinion: get out there and mix it up you never know who would or would not be interested unless you step outside of your comfort zone:)

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